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Speaker 1: Coming up on You Need Therapy, someone said, we'll let

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Speaker 1: you know that you saved me from Luisade like you

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Speaker 1: and your daughter's type you first. I've had like three

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Speaker 1: or four people methods do that. I started to realize

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Speaker 1: that not being an expert isn't a liability, it's a

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Speaker 1: real gift. If we don't know something about ourselves at

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Speaker 1: this point in our life, it's probably because it's uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: to know. If you can die before you die, then

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Speaker 1: you can really live. There's a wisdom at death's door.

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Speaker 1: I thought I was insane. Yeah, and I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what to do because there was no internet. I don't know, man,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I feel like everything is hard. Hey, y'all,

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Speaker 1: my name is Kat. I'm a human first and a

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Speaker 1: licensed therapist second. And right now I'm inviting you into

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Speaker 1: conversations that I hope encourage you to become more curious

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Speaker 1: and less judgmental about yourself, others, and the world around you.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to You Need Therapy. Hi guys, and welcome to

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Speaker 1: a new episode of You Need Therapy Podcast. My name

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Speaker 1: is Kat, I am the host. Quick reminder up top

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Speaker 1: before we get into the goodness of the episode that

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Speaker 1: although I am a therapist and this is a podcast

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Speaker 1: called You Need Therapy, this does not serve as a

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Speaker 1: replacement or a substitute for any actual mental health services. Now,

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Speaker 1: today's guest is someone that I instantly, I mean instantly,

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Speaker 1: felt so cozy with and so comfortable talking to when

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Speaker 1: I met her, and y'all, I met her literally when

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Speaker 1: I logged into the zoom to record the podcast. She's

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Speaker 1: someone you actually might be familiar with. And I was

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Speaker 1: actually already a follower of hers on TikTok because she

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Speaker 1: has six million followers, so you know, just a couple.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Tianna hayin Line, and she blew up

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Speaker 1: on social media and after she started posting videos of

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Speaker 1: her daughter saying affirmations in the mirror as she did

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Speaker 1: her hair. What she wanted was her daughter to build

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Speaker 1: self confidence and embrace her beauty and and her skin

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Speaker 1: and her curls and her kindness, all the goodness of

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Speaker 1: her in the wake of some pretty crazy social stuff

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Speaker 1: happening in the world. If you remember what happened in

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Speaker 1: we had George Floyd's murder, and in the rise of

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Speaker 1: the Black Lives Matter movement, and just a lot of

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Speaker 1: stuff was happening, and Tanna used daily affirmations with her

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Speaker 1: daughter to help her start to believe the truth about

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Speaker 1: who she was. You're about to hear a very raw

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Speaker 1: conversation that I had with her about the why behind

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Speaker 1: her what again, why she even She talks about her

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Speaker 1: experience of why she even started doing this with Scarlett

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Speaker 1: and then why she ended up posting them to TikTok,

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Speaker 1: And then we also talk about the ripple effect of

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Speaker 1: how putting positivity in the world has helped other people,

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Speaker 1: and how knowing who you are becomes increasingly important when

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Speaker 1: people have an opinion of you that does not align

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Speaker 1: with what you have known to be true, which is

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Speaker 1: a big one and something that we've talked about on

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Speaker 1: the podcast a lot before. You can follow Tianna and

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Speaker 1: her daughter Scarlett on Instagram at at Scarlett in Tianna

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Speaker 1: and also on TikTok, same handle. I will link those

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Speaker 1: in the show notes. You can just go there and

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Speaker 1: click them so you can follow them if you want

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Speaker 1: to see these positive, uplifting, such fun videos that they

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Speaker 1: have made and put out there. And also you can

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Speaker 1: get their new book that we talk about titled I'm

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Speaker 1: Going to Have a Good Day, where the main character,

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Speaker 1: whose name is Scarlett, practices daily affirmations as she goes

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Speaker 1: about her day, inspiring the people that are reading the

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Speaker 1: book to incorporate similar affirmations into their own lives. This

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Speaker 1: book is coming out tomorrow Tuesday, January. Wherever you get books,

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Speaker 1: you can find their book there on January, so look

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Speaker 1: out for that. And I hope you enjoy the conversation

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Speaker 1: I had with Tianna as much as I enjoyed having it,

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Speaker 1: So let's not waste any more time here. It is,

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Speaker 1: first of all, welcome. We were just talking about before

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Speaker 1: we got to recording this, about how our mornings are

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Speaker 1: not going perfectly and it's still a good morning, right. Absolutely.

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Speaker 1: I have made today amazing in front of it because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I gotta keep my fell staying positive. Well,

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Speaker 1: I like to ask everybody, this is my new thing

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Speaker 1: I started last year. I'd like to ask people. If

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Speaker 1: I couldn't introduce you using your job title, how would

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Speaker 1: you want to be introduced? Big personality fawn over sharer

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Speaker 1: because you know what I'm glad to I'm gonna own it.

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Speaker 1: You know what I'm meaning, guess I'm what ever? Share?

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Speaker 1: If you talk him to me and you say, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, like you're sure, then I'm gonna let you

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Speaker 1: know where I got it. How many flowers I have? Roight?

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Speaker 1: How do you? I'll maybe get you one? You know,

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Speaker 1: that's me and I'm a giver. I love to get

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Speaker 1: and that's one thing that I just my heart it

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Speaker 1: is and I am a worshiper and everybody's gonna move

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Speaker 1: unfortunately when I'm getting the room and then like what

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Speaker 1: we out places and nobody else know who we are

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Speaker 1: kond of And then in my mouth know like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, that's her because it's like the date your

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Speaker 1: voice Country bumpkin boys, Where are you from? Is that

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Speaker 1: where you've always lived? So so we so we grew.

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Speaker 1: I grew up in North Carolina and I moved to

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Speaker 1: South Carolanta. I've been here for like eighteen years. Oh wow, okay,

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Speaker 1: so you mentioned this and what is so great is

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Speaker 1: you blew up on social media? Was it? I remember

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Speaker 1: seeing your video? I think the first one I saw,

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Speaker 1: because I was one of those people that it's funny

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Speaker 1: to look back at now. I was one of those

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Speaker 1: people that was like I don't use TikTok, I don't

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Speaker 1: get on TikTok. We want to understand TikTok. And then

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Speaker 1: like probably halfway through or maybe and I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, have you seen this TikTok? Like completely exactly,

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Speaker 1: but I remember somebody I think sent to me one

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Speaker 1: of your videos and I want to hear since you're

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Speaker 1: an overshare, I want to hear the whole story. But

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Speaker 1: I want to hear what led you to all of

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Speaker 1: that because you now have over six million followers on TikTok,

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Speaker 1: which is insane, so insane, and so I want to know,

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Speaker 1: give me, like the before it happened, what led you

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Speaker 1: to record those videos and then what kind of led

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Speaker 1: you to then say I'm gonna put these on TikTok

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Speaker 1: and see what happens. I'm the one that has always

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Speaker 1: videotyped and took the pictures, like since all I got

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Speaker 1: my first video camera. The just always done that. I

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Speaker 1: just love videos, I love pictures. I love the memories

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Speaker 1: that it brings. And even with work, they would always

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Speaker 1: get me to do the videos for social media, like hey, work,

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Speaker 1: because I did apart rents. They're like, hey, we're here,

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Speaker 1: this is what we're doing. Y'all come out And then

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Speaker 1: people be like, oh my god, are you a girl

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Speaker 1: from the videos? You know what I mean? So it's like,

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Speaker 1: that's just what I did, right, So I always took

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Speaker 1: pictures of the boys and videos and stuff like that,

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Speaker 1: but it was different. It was a different error there,

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Speaker 1: and when they were young. Now they don't here at

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Speaker 1: all to be at all their seventeen and fifteen, and

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Speaker 1: I basically have to pay them if I really want

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Speaker 1: them to be in the video. They're like how much?

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Speaker 1: How much of offering? But then baby girl comes and

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Speaker 1: she's like, you know what I mean, She's like me,

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Speaker 1: She's like, take all the pictures of me and all videos,

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Speaker 1: and so it all started offense. I've had like herd

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Speaker 1: stuff page and I was just shagaring up. Always been

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Speaker 1: a share of my personal life of like just pictures

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Speaker 1: and videos. So I already had Instagram. I used to

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Speaker 1: do vine back in the day. Have a lot of followers.

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Speaker 1: I would love to find those videos. Though. Then Instagram

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Speaker 1: started doing the videos where instead the long term video,

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Speaker 1: they started doing the short video. So I started doing

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Speaker 1: there then then and my boys were on TikTok and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, totally getting on there. They're like, no,

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Speaker 1: you're not. I'm They're like no, like, not for you,

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Speaker 1: it's just for us. Don't try to take this over.

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Speaker 1: So it's like, I'm Danny Doll. So it's March. It was.

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Speaker 1: It was the weekend of Scarlett's birthday party because my

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Speaker 1: family was in town my sister and heard my sister

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Speaker 1: dances that they did a little dancing. That was our

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Speaker 1: very first tick talk. And then I was just using

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Speaker 1: it just to like recorder a lize, you know, just

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Speaker 1: like a daily thing. And then the whole Black Lives

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Speaker 1: Matter George Floyd thing happened. It hit me hard because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, hey, I've always a firm scarlet. You're beautiful.

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Speaker 1: I love your skin color and I love your hair.

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Speaker 1: I've just I've always been affirming to her. So when

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Speaker 1: this came about, I was like, heying, this girl needs

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Speaker 1: to really, really really get this. So I was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, you're gonna start repeating them after me. So

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Speaker 1: I remember our first affirmation video, so it's all my

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Speaker 1: hip and I was like, all right, so I don't

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Speaker 1: want you to repeat after me. I'm beautiful, I'm strong,

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Speaker 1: not of my brown skin. Black Lives Matter. That's when

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Speaker 1: the whole movement was going on, and that kind of

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Speaker 1: went crazy. I was doing her hair one more and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, why don't we get her to do this?

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Speaker 1: Like I got chills from now thinking of it. Why

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Speaker 1: don't I get her to do this while we're in

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Speaker 1: the mirror, Because I'm telling you, looking in the mirror

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Speaker 1: saying these things to yourself, as a whole I like

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Speaker 1: cry ever to happen. It's a whole other perspective because

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Speaker 1: you can go throughout your day, which I do, and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'll look in the mirror and like, oh God,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, you're freaking beauty queen. You're breaking beauty quaint,

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Speaker 1: even if it's in the watermelon quwl patchet, you're a

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Speaker 1: beauty point. So anyway, so I was like, I've got

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Speaker 1: to get her in front of the camera and give

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Speaker 1: her these affirmations. So we started doing that. I was like,

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Speaker 1: let me record this. You know, it's what I was

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Speaker 1: already doing. I never went into this thing, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: make money off of this? Never did that cross my mind.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's one thing that a lot of

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Speaker 1: people don't. They understand like that I'm doing and and

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Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with that. It's from the beginning.

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Speaker 1: It was just all about having her a firm herself,

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Speaker 1: understand her curl because I had seen so and me

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Speaker 1: I had had so many by Ragel friends that had

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Speaker 1: straightened their hair, and I was like, man, I really

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Speaker 1: need this girl's are like not feel like she has

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Speaker 1: a straight and especially since she's Raybile White mob that

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Speaker 1: great long blond hair, I don't want her to feel

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Speaker 1: like she had to straighten rear say anyway. So that's it,

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Speaker 1: Like that's how it started, and and it just went

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Speaker 1: crazy from there. Like we started in March bomb December

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Speaker 1: we were at a million, and then one week we

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Speaker 1: got a million followers in one week. It was that

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Speaker 1: is crazy. I'm glad you said that because people can't

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Speaker 1: see us right now. And for you to say like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: my daughter doesn't look like me. We have different hair,

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Speaker 1: we have different skin. And when this all started around

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Speaker 1: George Floyd's murder and all, when the Black Lives Matter

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Speaker 1: movement really took off, what was that like for you

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Speaker 1: as a mom to sit there and watch all of

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Speaker 1: that and then look at your daughter, who she's young,

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Speaker 1: so she's not going to comprehend everything that is happening,

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Speaker 1: But what was that like for you? At that time?

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Speaker 1: It was really like we all know racism is. It

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Speaker 1: isn't a world, you know what I mean? But the

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Speaker 1: the the amount that happened after that was crazy, and

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Speaker 1: then the amount of like comments that I would get,

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Speaker 1: so it was I was torn because like I want to,

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Speaker 1: I want to I want to shell her from this,

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Speaker 1: but then I really want to teach her because I

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Speaker 1: can't shell her from it. And then she goes out

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Speaker 1: in the real world and people are like, your hair's

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Speaker 1: One little girl told her her hair was freezy, and

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Speaker 1: she was like, I don't care, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Like she she was like, I don't care. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to shell her from from it because she's gonna

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Speaker 1: go out there and I ain't gonna be there, and

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Speaker 1: she's gonna have to defend herself and gonna have to

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Speaker 1: be confident enough to know that their words don't matter.

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Speaker 1: Something that I talk about a lot with clients is

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Speaker 1: kind of what you're talking about, but an overarching theme

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Speaker 1: of I would be lying if I told somebody who

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Speaker 1: was struggling with any kind of confidence issue, whether it's

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Speaker 1: the way I look or how smart I am, or

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Speaker 1: how funny I am or whatever. I would be lying

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Speaker 1: if I would say that nobody in the world is

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Speaker 1: going to think something negative of you like that. I

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Speaker 1: can't say that. There's always going to be somebody who

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Speaker 1: has an opinion that probably doesn't feel good to hear

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Speaker 1: or see or no. And so it would not be

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Speaker 1: helpful for me to just sit here and be like, no,

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Speaker 1: everybody in the whole world is going to think you're perfect,

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Speaker 1: because that's not true. But what is really actually helpful

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Speaker 1: is to acknowledge that I can't control that, and then

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Speaker 1: also work on building what you believe about yourself, which

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Speaker 1: is literally what you just said. Of Like, some girl

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Speaker 1: told her her hair was for his name, and she

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Speaker 1: was like, I don't care. I love my curls. Right,

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Speaker 1: you can think that all day long, and I guess

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Speaker 1: that's fine for you, But I also don't know why

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Speaker 1: you worry so much. But I love my curls. And

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Speaker 1: so it's not that like I'm rubber your glue bounce

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Speaker 1: off kind of thing that we got taught when we

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Speaker 1: were kids. But it's like, yeah, I hear that, and

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Speaker 1: also I don't believe that. That doesn't mean that I

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Speaker 1: have to take that on. I want to hear your

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Speaker 1: perspective on this, because it's so hard sometimes to talk

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Speaker 1: to anybody, including clients that I'm working with, about the

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Speaker 1: power of an affirmation because sometimes when I say because

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Speaker 1: I will tell them, I'm like, your homework is go

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Speaker 1: home and every day, get up, look in the mirror

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Speaker 1: and say three nice things. I don't care what they are,

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Speaker 1: but just say three nice things, and you have to

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Speaker 1: look at yourself. And I get this, like eye roll

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Speaker 1: or what is that going to do? It just seems

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Speaker 1: like not important. But can you talk to the importance

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Speaker 1: and the power of it from somebody who does that

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Speaker 1: themselves and has watched your daughter do that for years now.

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Speaker 1: So I was affirmed a lot as a child, but

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Speaker 1: I never repeated it. My dad was very affirming, but

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Speaker 1: he never got me to repeat it, you know, And

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Speaker 1: so I basically really started doing it like right before.

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Speaker 1: You know, Scarlett, I've always told myself, you know, but

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Speaker 1: I've never really liked It's never been like a thing

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Speaker 1: where I'm looking in the mirror. And so it's crazy

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Speaker 1: because we've like taught each other so much stuff, But girl,

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Speaker 1: it's the confidence level from from I mean, it's hard

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Speaker 1: being I mean because she's three, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: But like I get messages from people that these kids

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Speaker 1: are like they scrump in their skin because they want

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Speaker 1: a different skin color. They are pulling their hair out

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Speaker 1: because they don't like their curls. It's so heartbreaking. And

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Speaker 1: then Scarlett goes and helps all other people at her school,

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Speaker 1: like this little girl she I'm totally off topic right now.

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Speaker 1: This is what I do. This is a d being

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Speaker 1: paying for you, all right, I wanted and so anyway,

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Speaker 1: so she'll she was a school and this little girl

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Speaker 1: was she always cries more and because her mom leaves,

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Speaker 1: and so she took her aside and like did some

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Speaker 1: affirmations with her and stuff. So the confidence that she

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Speaker 1: has anahi. Now, sometimes they will be incidents where like

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Speaker 1: right now, I'm going through a lot of hate right now,

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Speaker 1: a lot. And so yeah, yeah, it's really bad. So

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Speaker 1: it's really hard right now. And I have to know

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Speaker 1: who I am as a mother. I know my kids

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Speaker 1: are loved. I know my kids love me. I know

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Speaker 1: I love them and they are good. And so there's

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Speaker 1: moments in my life where it either it's our relationship

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Speaker 1: or somebody cheaps you know what I'm saying. Whatever, there's

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Speaker 1: so many different things that went through my life where

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Speaker 1: I have to be like, you are loved, you are worthy,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean? You are a long uh

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Speaker 1: no matter what anybody says. And then for Scarlet, I

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Speaker 1: think her biggest thing is that is the brave I

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Speaker 1: am brave or I don't know that, I don't know

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Speaker 1: how to do that yet that's her newest thing. Like

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Speaker 1: so she's doing to nassing since she's really good actually,

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Speaker 1: and so she was like, I can't do that, and

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Speaker 1: I'll look at her and she'll go Yet, because that's

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Speaker 1: a big thing for us. I want I want her

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Speaker 1: to realize that she can, you know, do anything she

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Speaker 1: puts her mind too. So we try to stop those

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Speaker 1: negative faults because that was my problem growing up, not

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Speaker 1: really growing up, but as a young adult in adulthood

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Speaker 1: is thinking negative faults and just really trying to like

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Speaker 1: hold them captive and and bring them into a positive mindset.

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Speaker 1: So Skirlett, yesterday, I'll tell you the story that s girl. Yesterday,

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Speaker 1: we went to the Big Air. It's a jump house

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Speaker 1: here and she's been wanting to jump off of this.

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Speaker 1: It's a little high and she has not done it,

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Speaker 1: and I just kept she was like, I said, let's listen,

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Speaker 1: I am brave. I'm brave, I can do this. Because

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Speaker 1: she was like, I really want to do it, because

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Speaker 1: she kept saying I'm bright, and she jumped all of

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Speaker 1: where I was balling. So it was a cutest thing.

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Speaker 1: So it's like the power of affirmation if you just

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Speaker 1: keep keep keep all saying it. You cannot believe it

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Speaker 1: at the beginning, but eventually you're gonna believe it, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it is a powerful thing.

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Speaker 1: And I've seen it work in me. I've seen it

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Speaker 1: work in Scarlett. I've seen it work in other people.

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Speaker 1: Actually had on Tom Hop it came up. It was

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Speaker 1: a year ago. Someone said, I want to let you

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Speaker 1: know that you saved me from suicide, like you and

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Speaker 1: your daughters saved you. First. I've had like three or

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Speaker 1: four people message me that you said. I had a

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Speaker 1: note written out and everything, and I came across your

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Speaker 1: video and I started saying them and started seeking therapy

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Speaker 1: and I am I love my life now. So it's

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Speaker 1: like it's the beautiful It's a beautiful thing, and it

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Speaker 1: is powerful and well okay, but I see where people

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Speaker 1: come from because they're like, really, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: until they really start doing it. Okay, So when you

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Speaker 1: just said, I got a message from somebody who shared

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Speaker 1: that my positivity in my videos and what I've been

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Speaker 1: putting into the world has saved their life, how do

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Speaker 1: you have that? And then people like coming for you

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Speaker 1: on the internet because they think that it's fake, that

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Speaker 1: I'm not that it's not real. They think that it's

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Speaker 1: like more like I'm doing this just to make money

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Speaker 1: versus I'm doing this to like want. It started as

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Speaker 1: something that this is just my life and I'm putting

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Speaker 1: on the internet, and then people like find but people

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Speaker 1: don't know that, you know what I'm saying, I don't

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Speaker 1: know that, so they just go off of and I'm

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Speaker 1: this is gonna be the first time I'll talk about

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Speaker 1: one here. So here you go. Scarlett is so love Yeah, Carl,

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Speaker 1: it is not in danger. People call them the CPS

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Speaker 1: and the cops. Could you know what I'm saying, Like

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Speaker 1: it's like crazy, And then people are like putting my

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Speaker 1: name and address on Oh my gosh. So anyways, this

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Speaker 1: is not why I do this. I do this because

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Speaker 1: like you said, this person, uh, and I've got plenty

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Speaker 1: of those messages. And then now the book is coming out,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. The book comes out Tuesday,

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Speaker 1: and the amount of people that are like I cannot

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Speaker 1: wait to read this to my child, and then and

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Speaker 1: then to have the person that is actually going to

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Speaker 1: be reading it through the child, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 1: to be like, I'm beautiful, I'm kind It might do

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Speaker 1: something within them, you know what I mean. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: well it's gonna be a really cool thing. I'm so

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Speaker 1: excited to even have. I mean, especially because Scarlett is

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Speaker 1: a real person, so like in You're a real person

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Speaker 1: that like this book and this story, like this is

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Speaker 1: not make believe, this is real. I think that's so cool.

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Speaker 1: But I was I was really curious about that because

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Speaker 1: I had an experience. I had an experience where and

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Speaker 1: this feels like small potatoes compared to what I heard

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Speaker 1: you say, but I had experienced where I had put

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Speaker 1: up a video. This was like a year and a half,

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Speaker 1: two years ago. I put up a video and I

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Speaker 1: didn't even like I was really like using TikTok at

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Speaker 1: the time, like I had it to like watch videos,

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Speaker 1: but I wasn't like trying to like create anything. I

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Speaker 1: made it to the video to then put on my

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Speaker 1: Instagram because that's what I was using. I thought it

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Speaker 1: was funny, like whatever I post it, time goes on

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Speaker 1: and I think it was like a week later, this

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Speaker 1: video starts going viral, where I don't understand why, because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, nobody follows me. Nobody followed me on TikTok,

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Speaker 1: so I was like, how are people seeing this? I

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Speaker 1: didn't understand, And at first I was like, this is cool,

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Speaker 1: And then I was getting the worst messages I could

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Speaker 1: have imagined, calling me the worst names, saying you must

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Speaker 1: be a horrible therapist. I feel so bad for any

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Speaker 1: client who sees you like all this stuff, You're I

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Speaker 1: mean horrible. Then where people then would like come to

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Speaker 1: my Instagram and like DM me. This one girl like

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Speaker 1: threatened to ruin me, and I was like what that.

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Speaker 1: I will take this video down. It's not that important,

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Speaker 1: like I didn't understand, and so I say that because

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Speaker 1: it's so interesting to me, and we could dissect this,

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Speaker 1: but it's not really that important to dissect. But it's

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Speaker 1: so interesting to me. How easy it is for people

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Speaker 1: to look for the worst in other people. And we're

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Speaker 1: talking about right now, we're talking about affirmations. It's we

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Speaker 1: are building up our self worth. We're building up what

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Speaker 1: we believe about ourselves, and then that's going to then

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Speaker 1: infiltrate what we believe about other people, how we see

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Speaker 1: other people, and to me that story that you just told,

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Speaker 1: because let's not act like none of us ever do

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Speaker 1: things like that, Like we don't do stuff like all

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Speaker 1: the camera. If everybody's life was founded and then we

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Speaker 1: all be y life was filmed, every one of us

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Speaker 1: would be canceled and nobody would be to do and write.

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Speaker 1: So I just think that that that experience is why

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Speaker 1: what you're doing is so important, because it comes from

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Speaker 1: somewhere and off and times when it feels cliche, but

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Speaker 1: it's so true when people are hyper focused on finding

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Speaker 1: the ickiness and other people. Most of the time, we're

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Speaker 1: doing that because we don't feel that great about ourselves.

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Speaker 1: And I'm speak from experience. When I'm having mean thoughts

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Speaker 1: about somebody, or I'm gossiping or I'm doing I'm usually

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Speaker 1: doing that because there's something going on in me that

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Speaker 1: I want to avoid. And so I say that to

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Speaker 1: anybody who's listening. Because most people in the world have

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Speaker 1: experienced some kind of bullying or just like mean natured

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Speaker 1: behavior or feeling left out or feeling misunderstood. And I

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Speaker 1: think that that's what you're talking about here, and it

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Speaker 1: doesn't take it away and it doesn't like make the

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Speaker 1: feelings go away. But knowing that oftentimes, now, yes, I

427
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,360
Speaker 1: think it's really important for us to look at our

428
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 1: own behavior. And for me, I looked at that the

429
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 1: video that I packed up, and I was like, Okay, well,

430
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 1: do these people have a point and can I see

431
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 1: where they're coming from when I go that extreme? No?

432
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: But was there something that I didn't take into account?

433
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 1: And so that's important. But I also think knowing, like

434
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:10,400
Speaker 1: having that like sense of self worth where like I'm

435
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 1: a good mom or for me like I'm a good therapist,

436
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: I have good intentions helps you cope with those things.

437
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,439
Speaker 1: So then we don't crumble and we're like, oh, that

438
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 1: person says that I'm this, they must be that, and

439
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: then that's what I go with for us. To my

440
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:26,760
Speaker 1: it's crazy, like I feel like this is what I'm

441
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 1: prepared myself for, you know what I mean with the

442
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 1: old affirmations and that I'm like, she's gonna go through

443
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: this when she gets older, Like we have six million follers.

444
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 1: She she's gonna one day take over this account, you

445
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 1: know what I mean, And she's going to experience this.

446
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:42,080
Speaker 1: So like, this is what I'm building her up for,

447
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: to be able to buy all to these people mentally,

448
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: not physically or not, you know. And that's one thing,

449
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 1: but is really hard and not say anything bad and

450
00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:56,760
Speaker 1: not be like no, you know me, you know I mean,

451
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,399
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm just gonna I'm just gonna know

452
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 1: much for no, Ma who I am. My kids know

453
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 1: who I am. My kids love me, and my kids,

454
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,679
Speaker 1: me and my boys are really close, so it's like

455
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 1: they're like, Mom, like it's okay, you know what I mean.

456
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: So it's like how they know and Anna, we gotta

457
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 1: be yeah. And I think that's a powerful message to send,

458
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:20,280
Speaker 1: is that when we are struggling with somebody, because in

459
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 1: the beginning of this conversation, even talking about why you

460
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 1: even start doing these affirmations is saying like, there's going

461
00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 1: to be somebody out there that says something to my

462
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 1: my daughter, and I want her to want I have

463
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,199
Speaker 1: a sense of self to say something back, and to

464
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 1: be able to respond to that kind of message, that

465
00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 1: negative message that somebody might be sending to us, without

466
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:42,880
Speaker 1: tearing another person down. To be able to just bring that, hey,

467
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 1: that's not about me, I believe I am blank. And

468
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: then to be able to move on that. That's so

469
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: huge And I think if we could do more of that,

470
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:54,679
Speaker 1: we would have less of the bad stuff in the beginning. Okay,

471
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,640
Speaker 1: so let's switch gears for a second and talk about

472
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 1: this book that we mentioned that's coming out on January. Yes, Yes,

473
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 1: is tomorrow for the people that are listening to this

474
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,760
Speaker 1: right now on Monday. Talk to me about what the

475
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:11,359
Speaker 1: books about, how you came up with this book, what

476
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: the process was like, and what you want people to

477
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,880
Speaker 1: get out of this. It was the summer of twenty

478
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 1: and HarperCollins has like a kid called Launder Kids, and

479
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 1: they reached out to me and they were like, we

480
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 1: absolutely love your story. We love what you're doing. I

481
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,520
Speaker 1: think this will be the most amazing picture book for

482
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 1: a children's book. I was like, oh my gosh, so

483
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 1: literally we've been working on this since like it was

484
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: like Junior dealot twenties that Britt to be like here

485
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: now is like mine Loy. But the process was just

486
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,439
Speaker 1: it was really cool being Scarlett got to go in

487
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 1: the recording studio and do some affirmations for the audio

488
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 1: that they if you do get the audio, you'll be

489
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:50,479
Speaker 1: able to hear like an introduction from me, and then

490
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 1: me and Scarlett doing our doing our affirmations, which is

491
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 1: super super sweet, and then us getting to pick out

492
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 1: the illustrator and the girl that's actually gonna do the audio.

493
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:02,159
Speaker 1: Everything was just really cool. So this book is about

494
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 1: Scarlet and me and our affirmations and what she goes

495
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: through on a day, like it takes The book takes

496
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,119
Speaker 1: her through like a day she's brave because she's riding

497
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:14,640
Speaker 1: her bike or is kind because she took her her

498
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: brother's controller away. So there's different scenarios where she feels

499
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,239
Speaker 1: like she's not doing something and then she uses her

500
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: affirmations like and then I remember my affirmation I am kind,

501
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:28,959
Speaker 1: or I remember my affirmation I am strong. So like

502
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 1: to have this book in libraries, to have this book

503
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,000
Speaker 1: in homes and schools, even like in therapy offices, Like

504
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,440
Speaker 1: I just feel like this is gonna be such a

505
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 1: amazing thing for not even just the listener. But for

506
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: the reader, the person that's reading it to the child,

507
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: you know, can get something from it. And at the

508
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: end of the book there's a two pages full of

509
00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 1: affirmations that they can say um to themselves. And so

510
00:26:55,760 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: it's a really really cool thing. I am so so excit.

511
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: I know we've had such a great response from it,

512
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: and I cannot wait to see these little kids and

513
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: the pictures and videos of them with the books and stuff.

514
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:10,639
Speaker 1: Though even one little girl dressed up with Scarlett for

515
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:15,400
Speaker 1: her character day at school. Oh my gosh, than ever, Oh,

516
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:18,040
Speaker 1: I don't think she's rolling grassish because she's like, I

517
00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:21,200
Speaker 1: don't have that shirt. I'm like, sirl, it's just the drawing.

518
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 1: Why do I not have shoes on in that picture?

519
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: I'm all, why, literally the whole thing, you don't have

520
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,879
Speaker 1: a shirt like that? That's so funny. I love when

521
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:35,159
Speaker 1: you said, like it's a good book to have in

522
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,160
Speaker 1: therapy offices. There's a couple of books that I don't

523
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 1: work with kids, but I work with parents and so,

524
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: and like, I know a lot of small children that

525
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: I'm close to that I like to be able to, like,

526
00:27:47,320 --> 00:27:49,159
Speaker 1: you know, give a positive influence to and there's a

527
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,760
Speaker 1: couple of books that I love having that talk about

528
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:55,200
Speaker 1: just emotions and feelings, but I don't have a book

529
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 1: justice talking. This is how we can speak to ourselves.

530
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 1: And these are things that we can say because what

531
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: is true is that we are going to most likely

532
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,800
Speaker 1: use the language that is that is around us. Like

533
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,960
Speaker 1: we as kids, we can't make up I mean, I

534
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 1: guess we can make up head, but like kids are

535
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 1: really young and they might maybe they're maybe they're feelings

536
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: got hurt. They might not have the languages say like

537
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 1: I feel hurt. Maybe they only know like I'm angry

538
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: or I'm mad, and so like a lot of these

539
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 1: books given language, and so you're giving language for kids

540
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 1: to be able to speak positively to themselves and about

541
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 1: themselves and to other people, which is needed. And I

542
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: love this girl and she will be somewhere and she

543
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 1: was like, I just love your hair, Like she affirms

544
00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:50,760
Speaker 1: people a lot, and it's like I'm telling you, the

545
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:56,120
Speaker 1: people they look on their face are like to be

546
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 1: able to have that instead about bullying, you know what

547
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: I mean. I'm like talking to somebody the other day

548
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: just about like her idea of herself and her idea

549
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 1: of what other people think about her. And I said,

550
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 1: the thing about all the people you talk to, you

551
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 1: walk by, you see, you meet once, and they never

552
00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,840
Speaker 1: tell you what is in their head, what they're thinking.

553
00:29:18,200 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 1: They never did, because there's something I feel like when

554
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: you said like, she'll just go up to somebody and

555
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 1: say like, I love your hair or like your shirt.

556
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:28,560
Speaker 1: There's something about adults that is so filtered, and with

557
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:31,680
Speaker 1: kids it's just so honest and true. And if we

558
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 1: didn't suppress these kind thoughts that we had all the

559
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 1: time about people like it is so she gets that

560
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: for me because I literally will go up too somebody

561
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: and be like, your butt is amazing, you know what

562
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 1: I mean. And you don't have to put that on there,

563
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 1: but I'll like because that's one thing that I love

564
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: you and I love affirming other people, you know what

565
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 1: I mean. Like makes such a big different. It does change.

566
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,240
Speaker 1: You're like taking away shouldn't be this way, but you're

567
00:30:01,240 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 1: helping remove the awkwardness of being kind people like that's

568
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 1: what right right? Well, thank you so much for taking

569
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: time to do this. I've I've loved to talk to you.

570
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 1: To have this book in my office, I'll get them

571
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 1: to send one, so I'll send you one of the

572
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 1: publisher will thank you. I'll give them a side one

573
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 1: and um, this has been my favorite podcast so far.

574
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:29,280
Speaker 1: Guess can you Before we go, just tell everybody again

575
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 1: where they can find you and where can they find

576
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: this book. We are all basically all platforms, so Instagram,

577
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:40,880
Speaker 1: YouTube and TikTok and Facebook are all at Scarlett two

578
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 1: teeth and tienna t i A n I A. And

579
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,880
Speaker 1: then to buy the book, um, you can go to

580
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 1: Scarlett gray Smith dot com and you can click on

581
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: their Actually Park Rhodes in Charlotte is given away or

582
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:54,960
Speaker 1: if you buy a book from them, the first stop

583
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: hundred are going to get signed copies. We're gonna go

584
00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:59,200
Speaker 1: sign all the We're gonna scrow. It's gonna do a

585
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 1: sam because bothering her copies is a lot. We're doing

586
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 1: that all the twenty six So if you buy a

587
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: book from them, you'll get us sign coffee. So um, yeah,

588
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: it's arlt Graysmith dot com. It's gonna be in all

589
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 1: your local like Barnes and Noble Books a million. It's

590
00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: gonna be so cool. I cannot wait to go in

591
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,600
Speaker 1: there and see it like we are going to go

592
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: in touesday to see it. It's gonna be really really cool.

593
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:20,200
Speaker 1: It's amazing people. Thank you.