1 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: I think that IVF is a beautiful thing if it's 2 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:10,959 Speaker 1: right for you. I'm not opposed to it. I tried it, 3 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: and I think it's a blessing. I took the time off, 4 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 1: I purchased the medication, I went to the doctor's appointments. 5 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: Everything is ready to go. I'm ready for this. Mentally, 6 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, let's do this. Even women in 7 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: our culture are feel like, well, that's what you came 8 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: to this life for. It is to reproduce. And I 9 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: feel like no one should feel pressured or feel like 10 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,879 Speaker 1: you need to have kids by this time or by 11 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:41,599 Speaker 1: this age. Hello, everyone, welcome back to another episode of 12 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: Cheese and Chill. I'm so happy to have you here 13 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,280 Speaker 1: with me. Today's episode is going to address a question 14 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,720 Speaker 1: I get asked a lot. I'm constantly being asked if 15 00:00:50,720 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 1: I want to have kids. I've even done an episode 16 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: with my fertility doctor on freezing my eggs. Go check 17 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: that episode out. Now. I haven't frozen my eggs, but 18 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:05,199 Speaker 1: i'd recently try in vitro fertilization or IVF. You guys 19 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: know I'm always open and honest with you guys. So 20 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: today I'm going to share my experience. And we'll also 21 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: talk about what's next for me. So let's get into 22 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 1: this episode. This is Cheeky's and chill. Oh all right, 23 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 1: let me take a deep breath for this one, you guys. Okay, 24 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,199 Speaker 1: So I think we should probably start from the top. 25 00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 1: But before we get into it, I want to say 26 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: this episode should not be taken as medical advice. Please 27 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 1: do your own research and consult with the doctor to 28 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:42,119 Speaker 1: see if this treatment is right for you. Okay, all right, 29 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: So why IVF? Well why not? I think that IVF 30 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,600 Speaker 1: is a beautiful thing. That is my personal opinion. I 31 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 1: think that it's a great thing if it's right for you. 32 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:57,680 Speaker 1: I'm not opposed to it. I tried it, and I 33 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: think it's a blessing that we have this opportunity and 34 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,480 Speaker 1: this way of being able to freeze your eggs and 35 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 1: taking that pressure off your time clock, your inner womanly 36 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: time clock is what we call it, you know, because 37 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,079 Speaker 1: I feel very young. I feel very young. I feel 38 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,840 Speaker 1: that I look very young, but my body, my insides, 39 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 1: my organs, my ovaries, my fertility clock is telling me 40 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: something different, you know. So I think that having IVF 41 00:02:27,639 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: is a great option, and I think that you need 42 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: to be mentally ready for that and emotionally ready for that. 43 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,320 Speaker 1: You do need to go to a doctor, a professional 44 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 1: doctor that you know specializes in this, and doctor Kadir, 45 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,639 Speaker 1: who you guys have met here on chegezs and Chill. 46 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,679 Speaker 1: He's a great doctor. He's amazing. He's very successful at 47 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 1: what he does. So you do definitely need to go 48 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: and see a doctor. And they're going to do blood 49 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 1: work and check your levels and check to see I 50 00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: don't know all the terms, you guys, which is why 51 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, I can't give you my advice, but 52 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 1: I know that they draw blood and they check to 53 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,919 Speaker 1: see basically how many eggs you have. You know what 54 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 1: I mean, because we all have a certain amount. We're 55 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 1: born with a certain amount, and with every period where 56 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 1: we lose one. And I have endometriosis and I've also 57 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: had a cysts in my ovaryas, so that also has 58 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: affected my egg production. I would recommend if you want 59 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,120 Speaker 1: to have children, if you've had difficulty getting pregnant, go 60 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,920 Speaker 1: see a fertility doctor. There are so many, especially in 61 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: LA and everywhere in reality, but it is a process 62 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,760 Speaker 1: and sometimes it's fairly quick. You have to be on 63 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: your period when they do these tests by the way, 64 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: and yeah, so I tried it and I didn't go 65 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: through with it. I didn't finish. And that's one thing 66 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: that I'm gonna which is why I feel like I 67 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: need to be honest with you guys, is because I 68 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 1: shared that episode with doctor Kadir, my fertility doctor, and 69 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: I said, Okay, I was going to give myself a 70 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 1: certain amount of time to do it, and then I 71 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,920 Speaker 1: was going to do it, and I did, you know, 72 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 1: come through with that part of you know the bargain. 73 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: I said, Okay, I started it, and then it just 74 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 1: did not feel right in my heart. But we get 75 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: we'll get back to that right now. But when I 76 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: started IVF, I spoke to so many people. This has 77 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:15,200 Speaker 1: been a crazy process for me. It's been i want 78 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 1: to say, three or four years from the very first 79 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 1: time I had met doctor Gadeir and I went in 80 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,599 Speaker 1: there and if it wasn't one thing, it was another. 81 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,240 Speaker 1: It was a cysts and they couldn't start my medication 82 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: because if not, it was going to make the cis grow. 83 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 1: So I had to get that removed and then it 84 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,799 Speaker 1: grew back, and then I had to get it surgically 85 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: removed again. It was just crazy. And then I got 86 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 1: separated and got divorced, and I was like, Okay, I 87 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:39,839 Speaker 1: don't want to have kids. I kind of put it 88 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: on the back burner for a little bit, and then 89 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 1: I restarted it again, not necessarily because I want to 90 00:04:43,839 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: have children, but because like right now I'm saying I 91 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,359 Speaker 1: don't want to have children, like right this minute, but 92 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 1: because again I have endometriosis. And doctor Gadea was saying, 93 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,679 Speaker 1: every year that goes by, the level of your egg 94 00:04:57,880 --> 00:05:02,479 Speaker 1: production goes down crazy, like when I think it's like 95 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: thirty three where you really have to like make this 96 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,600 Speaker 1: a priority if you don't want to have children now, 97 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: but you want to have children in the future. This 98 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 1: is why egg freezing exists, is because this is just 99 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 1: how our body works. So anyways, I talked to my 100 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 1: grandma about it once. I talked to my sisters about it, 101 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: even Jackie, my sister. She had said, Okay, if if 102 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,640 Speaker 1: your body can't or you're working too much, I will 103 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 1: be a surrogate. I mean, like, this has been an 104 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: ongoing conversation. And I talked to my grandma about it 105 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,279 Speaker 1: way back when when we were on speaking terms to 106 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:40,480 Speaker 1: be honest because my ex husband's mom didn't agree with it. 107 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: For her, it was that's not the way it should be, 108 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 1: that's not God's way, and I don't want my grandchildren 109 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: to be frozen. She just saw it in a different way. 110 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 1: And my grandma is a little bit more open minded 111 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 1: and she is a very religious woman. So I spoke 112 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,280 Speaker 1: to her and she said, look, do whatever you need 113 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: to do. So she supported it. So I spoke to 114 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,400 Speaker 1: everyone when I started Emilio, I, you know, was very honest, 115 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know if I want 116 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:08,039 Speaker 1: to have kids anytime soon. We've had a very open 117 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:11,040 Speaker 1: conversation and he says, okay, it's fine with me. And 118 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,920 Speaker 1: then I brought up the whole IVF thing again because 119 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: I was like, okay, Doctor Gadier sent me another text message. 120 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,200 Speaker 1: He would send me a text message like every two months, 121 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,719 Speaker 1: like hello, and I've been working so much, thank goodness. 122 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 1: So which is why I would kind of just like, okay, wait, 123 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,520 Speaker 1: I'm going to take some time off because you know, 124 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,919 Speaker 1: you could bloat You are very emotional. I hear you 125 00:06:28,960 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 1: know friends that have done it. Like when you're doing IVF, 126 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: you get very sensitive, you get bloated. It's just it's 127 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 1: a lot you're injecting yourself with, like a crazy amount 128 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: of hormones, which is why I was like, wait, I 129 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: come out on TV. I'm constantly on stage, like I 130 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: just want to make sure I have time for it. 131 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,680 Speaker 1: So anyways, Emilia was very supportive. He said, look, if 132 00:06:46,720 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 1: you feel that that's what you want to do, I'm 133 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 1: going to support it. Whatever it is that you want 134 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 1: to do. So he's very supportive. He also felt that 135 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 1: we could do it on our own naturally, but he 136 00:06:57,839 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 1: was one hundred and ten percent like, do it whatever 137 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,640 Speaker 1: is going to make you happy and make you feel 138 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 1: safe and sure about your future, because I'm not gonna lie. 139 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: He is younger, as you guys know, he's seven years younger. 140 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: My boyfriend, Emilia is seven years younger than me. So 141 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 1: I do worry that what if one day I'm just 142 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,480 Speaker 1: like not able to at all, and I want to 143 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: have that option. So another question before I move forward. 144 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,960 Speaker 1: A lot of people ask me if it's expensive, and 145 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,120 Speaker 1: it could be expensive. It could be, and it is. 146 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 1: It's anywhere from I believe it's fifteen thousand dollars around 147 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: of IVF, so it is pricey. Just the medication alone 148 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: was six thousand dollars. So when I went to see 149 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: the doctor and they checked on my levels for like 150 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: the sixth time in these four years, thank goodness, instead 151 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 1: of my levels going down, you guys, they actually went up, 152 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: which is crazy. Doctor Gadir was very very surprises, as wow, 153 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 1: you seem to be a little better. I think it's 154 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: because I've lost weight. I'm like eating differently as well. 155 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 1: I don't know. But anyways, I bought all the medication. 156 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,920 Speaker 1: I spoke to nurses and I saw videos on YouTube 157 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 1: how to inject myself because you have to inject yourself. 158 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: So that was the medication was six thousand dollars. So 159 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: that's one part, and then the doctor's fee and then 160 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: the surgical part of it, when they you know, retrieve 161 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: the eggs and then freezing them and then storing them. 162 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 1: So it could be costly, but then again, it's like 163 00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 1: having a child is priceless too, so yeah, I kind 164 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,920 Speaker 1: of did want to cover that because a lot of 165 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: people have asked me if it's if it's costly, so 166 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: I guess it's just all in how you see it, 167 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,719 Speaker 1: and it is a good investment, especially if you want 168 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,079 Speaker 1: to have children. And you want to take that pressure off. 169 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: That's why a lot of my friends have done it. 170 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: They feel like, I don't necessarily want to have kids 171 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: right now. They're very goal oriented and they have their 172 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 1: careers and stuff, and they're just like, I don't want 173 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 1: to have kids now, but I want to have the 174 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,000 Speaker 1: option of if I can't get pregnant in a few years, 175 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,040 Speaker 1: I have my eggs, you know. So, And that's how 176 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,719 Speaker 1: I felt. I started the process in October. I had 177 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: taken the time off, I had set the time aside. 178 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,679 Speaker 1: The last three weeks of October. I said, Okay, I'm 179 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: going to take off. I'm going to do this. I 180 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:13,360 Speaker 1: had spoken to Jessica, my makeup artist, who has done 181 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:18,280 Speaker 1: like about four I believe IVF treatments, and she's an expert. 182 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,839 Speaker 1: She has done a lot of research, and I spoke 183 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: to her and she helped me so much. She actually 184 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:25,400 Speaker 1: was the one that helped me with my medication, because 185 00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,880 Speaker 1: you kind of have to like put it together, you 186 00:09:26,920 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: have to measure it. You have to inject yourself. In 187 00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 1: the beginning, it's one injection, like the first three days, 188 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:33,840 Speaker 1: and then after that it becomes like three or four 189 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:40,199 Speaker 1: something like that. Anyways, I only made it through one day, 190 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 1: so I was I felt ready. Mentally, I had mentally 191 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,400 Speaker 1: prepared myself to say, Okay, I'm going to do it 192 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: in October, this is it. I took the time off, 193 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: I purchased the medication, I went to the doctor's appointm 194 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: I spoke to Jessica, everything is ready to go. I'm 195 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:04,840 Speaker 1: ready for this. Mentally, I was like, Okay, let's do this. 196 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: I realized that emotionally I was not ready. You guys, 197 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: I was angry. And I feel that when you're going 198 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:19,439 Speaker 1: to do this process, you need to be mentally physically 199 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: because you got to go to the doctors and make 200 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,600 Speaker 1: sure you're good, emotionally ready and also spiritually ready. And 201 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: I feel like spiritually and emotionally I was not there. 202 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 1: I remember giving myself the first injection and I was 203 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: just pissed. I had gotten my period early, first of all, 204 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,480 Speaker 1: so I still wasn't completely off. I had a show, 205 00:10:41,640 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 1: so I had timed everything according to my period. I 206 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 1: usually get in the middle of the month, but I 207 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,080 Speaker 1: got it early in the month in October, so I 208 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,760 Speaker 1: had to start early because you have to start like 209 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 1: when your period starts. So it was just I was 210 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: kind of like frustrated because I'm like, okay, I have 211 00:10:55,679 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 1: First of all, I have a party. I had Jenica's 212 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,720 Speaker 1: birthday party. So when you're doing this, you can't drink alcohol, 213 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So there's certain things you 214 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,440 Speaker 1: can't do. So I was just like, what the heck, 215 00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: I have Jenica's party, this is her birthday, like I 216 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,680 Speaker 1: want to enjoy. I couldn't really drink. And then I 217 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,280 Speaker 1: had a show, so it just kind of messed up 218 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: the whole schedule. So that kind of threw me off. 219 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,360 Speaker 1: It kind of pissed me off, to be honest. So 220 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: I was injecting myself and I remember praying and I 221 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: was meditating the day before I started, and I just 222 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 1: didn't have peace, you guys, I didn't have peace in 223 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:29,120 Speaker 1: my heart. I just did not. What kept coming was 224 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: change your eating habits. I started microdosing. I kind of 225 00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,400 Speaker 1: mentioned this in another episode, and I want to have 226 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 1: an episode on that. We'll talk about that later. But 227 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: I felt like I needed to heal my body naturally. 228 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,880 Speaker 1: It's crazy because for an event that I had the 229 00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:51,160 Speaker 1: week before I started the IVF, Jessica was doing my 230 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 1: makeup and she hired this other girl to do our 231 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,000 Speaker 1: hair because I think it was the Carol G Concert 232 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: that I was going to the Carol G concert and Tony, 233 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,439 Speaker 1: my regular hairstylist, wasn't available for whatever reason, and so 234 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,760 Speaker 1: she brought a friend of hers. It was the first 235 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: time I had met her, and of course me, I'm 236 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 1: always asking questions. And I said, oh, how many kids 237 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: do you have? And she said, oh, I have a 238 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 1: son and he's nine years old something like that. And 239 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: then I said, do you want to have any more kids? 240 00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,160 Speaker 1: And she says, well, actually I'm pregnant. Jessica didn't even 241 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,839 Speaker 1: know she was pregnant, and I said, oh my god, 242 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 1: you're pregnant. She's like, yes, She's like, I haven't told anyone. 243 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: She said she was thirty eight years old, and she 244 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: said it was just a surprise. She says, I just 245 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 1: never thought that I couldn't get pregnant again. And my 246 00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: husband and I were having unprotective sex and I just 247 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,079 Speaker 1: wouldn't get pregnant. So I thought, Okay, well I'm not 248 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,640 Speaker 1: going to get pregnant. She's like, all of a sudden, 249 00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:39,719 Speaker 1: I got pregnant. She's like, and I'm happy, but I'm 250 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: also like, what the heck, I'm thirty eight years old, 251 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,560 Speaker 1: my son is older. I'm starting all over. So I 252 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:46,920 Speaker 1: just felt it. I was like, wow, then it could happen. 253 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:50,240 Speaker 1: And then there was this forty two year old lady, 254 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,640 Speaker 1: my nail lady. I've known her for ten years, and 255 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:56,320 Speaker 1: her and her husband she just wouldn't get pregnant. And 256 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, I see her after a few 257 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: months because I go to different nelslons and I hadn't 258 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,360 Speaker 1: seen her in a while, and she's freaking six months pregnant. 259 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,880 Speaker 1: And she's like, oh my god, it was a surprise. 260 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 1: I'm having a girl. I'm forty two. I am so tired, 261 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 1: but I'm so happy, Like we weren't expecting it. So 262 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: I'm just like, dude, my body can do it. Is 263 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,560 Speaker 1: this how I felt. I'm like, if I really want 264 00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: to have a child, and God really wants that for me, 265 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 1: then He's going to make it happen. Like, no matter 266 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 1: what is going on in my body, even if I 267 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,560 Speaker 1: have two eggs left in my entire body and my ovaries, 268 00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,040 Speaker 1: I feel like God is going to make it happen. 269 00:13:31,080 --> 00:13:34,160 Speaker 1: If he wants to fertilize that egg, It's gonna happen. 270 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: So that's kind of where I'm at, and that's kind 271 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:40,160 Speaker 1: of what I felt because I injected myself the first night, 272 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 1: the day of Jenica's birthday party was a first actually 273 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,840 Speaker 1: in the injection was October eighth. I injected myself. It 274 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:51,160 Speaker 1: wasn't painful, it was fine. There are some oral pills 275 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: that you have to take a lot of it are 276 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: injections in your abdomen. Very teeny tiny, like very small 277 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:01,000 Speaker 1: needles the size of I don't know if you guys 278 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,880 Speaker 1: have ever gotten botox, but if you've gotten botox, it's 279 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: like they're very tiny needles. You have to squeeze your 280 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,040 Speaker 1: tummy and you have to like it's around your belly 281 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: button area. So you do it one time on your 282 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,680 Speaker 1: left side of the belly button. On the other time 283 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,520 Speaker 1: that you have to inject on the right side. It 284 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: doesn't hurt at all. One of them stings, like the 285 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 1: solution that you inject kind of stings a little bit. 286 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 1: And the only thing I felt, because really it was 287 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: like three injections that I did, I just felt very hot. 288 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:29,200 Speaker 1: I felt like just really really hot. And you do 289 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:32,120 Speaker 1: have the choice of going into the doctor's office every 290 00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: day and having someone do it for you, or you 291 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,640 Speaker 1: can have a nurse come to your home that you 292 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:39,440 Speaker 1: would have to hire to inject you. But in reality, 293 00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:42,480 Speaker 1: like I'm not very scared of needles, and it didn't 294 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: hurt that bad because the needle was very very tiny, 295 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: and my doctor had like YouTube videos and a nurse 296 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: that you can talk to and I could just like 297 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,880 Speaker 1: I had so many questions because I was so nervous. 298 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 1: I was like can I eat this? Can I drink this? 299 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 1: And like so they were like on call. I could 300 00:14:55,800 --> 00:15:01,080 Speaker 1: just text them, so they're very very helpful. But in reality, 301 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 1: it didn't the injections didn't hurt. I mean, Jessica told 302 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,560 Speaker 1: me obviously because she did it. She went through like 303 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,880 Speaker 1: the whole process. You do get a little sore in 304 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 1: that area, and obviously you start getting bloated and like 305 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,000 Speaker 1: you're abdomen because like all of your eggs are getting 306 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,320 Speaker 1: super big. They're going from like being teeny tiny to 307 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 1: like growing because that's how they want them to just 308 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: inflate and get really big and strong so that when 309 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: they retrieve them remove them, they're nice and plump, you 310 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: know what I mean, so that they don't affect what's 311 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 1: in sight. So that's how they explained it to me. 312 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: But you do have the choice of going into the 313 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,920 Speaker 1: doctor's office and doing it every day. It just wasn't 314 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: convenient for me, so I was like, I'm just gonna 315 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: do it myself, you know, because I'm gangster and I'm 316 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: not scared. So but I mean, I get it. Some 317 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:44,720 Speaker 1: people have phobia of like needles, but that was in 318 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:48,160 Speaker 1: my case. But other than that, I mean, yeah, it's 319 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,120 Speaker 1: a lot of medication, but you don't have to take 320 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 1: it all at once. It's like spread between the morning, 321 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 1: mid day, night, and then an antibiotic that you take 322 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: like in a few days, like after doing your like 323 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 1: first injections. But again I didn't get that far. I 324 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:05,400 Speaker 1: just got all the lessons. I did make the mistake 325 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: of researching, like how is that certain medication going to 326 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 1: make me feel? And I know it can make you 327 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: feel emotional and it can make you feel so many 328 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 1: different things, and I hadn't felt any of that. I 329 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,960 Speaker 1: just felt really hot. I got like a lot of 330 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,520 Speaker 1: hot flashes. The next morning, I did it again, and 331 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,840 Speaker 1: I was supposed to do another one at night, and 332 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 1: I just decided that I couldn't like cause I did 333 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: not have peace. That's how I decide a lot of 334 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 1: things that I do in my life. Like I'm like, Okay, 335 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: do I have peace? Do I feel happy about this? 336 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 1: Do I feel just zen about it? And I did 337 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 1: not feel zen. I said, it's not my time. Then 338 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: it's just not my time, and I'm going to try 339 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:39,960 Speaker 1: to just do and make certain life changes for the 340 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,280 Speaker 1: next year, and if it happens, it happens. I'm not 341 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 1: on birth control. So that's basically what I decided. And 342 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 1: you know what's crazy is that I was a little 343 00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 1: scared to tell Emilio that I had decided not to 344 00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: go through with it, because I remember the morning after 345 00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: I did my first shot, the day after Jenica's birthday party, 346 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 1: I was in my restroom because that's where I meditate. 347 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,080 Speaker 1: I was meditating, doing my whole ritual, my morning routine, 348 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,760 Speaker 1: and I came out of the restroom. I was like, dang, 349 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,560 Speaker 1: I'm scared to tell a medio because I don't know 350 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,919 Speaker 1: what he's going to think. Like I usually and I 351 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 1: love to finish what I start. So I felt in 352 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:18,679 Speaker 1: a way like I'm not finishing what I started, and 353 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:20,320 Speaker 1: I'm going back on my word. It's kind of how 354 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:23,400 Speaker 1: I felt, but I had a peace. It was crazy, 355 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,600 Speaker 1: you know, so I just I went and he was 356 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 1: laid in bed and I was like, emdio, I decided 357 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,320 Speaker 1: not to do it, and he said, decide not to 358 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:31,800 Speaker 1: do what? And I said, I don't want to do IVF. 359 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,479 Speaker 1: I said, okay, that's fine, that's fine. It's your body, 360 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 1: and I support you. It was so easy, and he's like, babe, 361 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,040 Speaker 1: it's fine. I'm no one to tell you to do 362 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 1: it or not to do it. And it felt good 363 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:47,680 Speaker 1: to have a partner that was like, gave me a 364 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: hug because I cried a little bit. I'm like, I 365 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: just feel like I'm gonna let my doctor down and 366 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:54,399 Speaker 1: Jessica's going to be disappointed, and I just like, you 367 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,959 Speaker 1: know what I mean, because Jessica was kind of like 368 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,760 Speaker 1: holding my hand through the whole thing. But he hugged me. 369 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,960 Speaker 1: He says, this is your decision, it's not even mine. 370 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: And it just felt so good. You know. I'm so 371 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,280 Speaker 1: blessed to be able to have a partner that doesn't 372 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: pressure me and doesn't make me feel bad about maybe 373 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,760 Speaker 1: not going through with something or changing my mind. And 374 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: I but I was a little scared. I was nervous, 375 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: but he took it very well, so that also gave 376 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: me a lot of peace. And of course my doctor, 377 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,680 Speaker 1: doctor Kadir, was very upset. He says, I think you're 378 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,520 Speaker 1: making a mistake, and I said, I understand, I get it. 379 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,840 Speaker 1: I said, look, if in a year doesn't happen on 380 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:34,159 Speaker 1: its own, then I will go see you. He says, okay, 381 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,199 Speaker 1: but remember what happens every year. I'm like, I know, 382 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,879 Speaker 1: and I'm okay with my decision. You guys, I said, Okay, 383 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,880 Speaker 1: that happened in October. I'll give myself to this October 384 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: twenty twenty three to say, okay, I either start IVF 385 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 1: again or I'm just okay with maybe there's a possibility 386 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,880 Speaker 1: I'll never have children. But then again, I'm telling you, guys, 387 00:18:54,359 --> 00:18:58,880 Speaker 1: look said whether you want it or not. I was like, God, 388 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: may yor will be done, and that where I'm at, 389 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 1: I'm kind of like, there, may your will be done. God, 390 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 1: Whatever is meant for me will happen. And I just 391 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:09,159 Speaker 1: need to take that stress off of my shoulders and 392 00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 1: stop feeling. And for a long time I was feeling like, 393 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 1: oh my God, like my body's not functioning. I'm broken, 394 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:17,879 Speaker 1: quote unquote, and it's like no, like that's not what 395 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 1: it is. And I'm not broken, and I'm okay and 396 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,800 Speaker 1: this is my decision, and I'm okay with this decision 397 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,280 Speaker 1: right now. I have peace with this decision. I completely 398 00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,919 Speaker 1: felt like I felt like I was doing it for 399 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,920 Speaker 1: the wrong reasons. I was doing it because my doctor 400 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: wanted me to do it. I was doing it because Jessica, 401 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 1: you know, she is a little older than me, and 402 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,960 Speaker 1: she was like cheek, He's like, I'm suffering, like I 403 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 1: really want to have a child, like and I was 404 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: kind of where you're at. And she's like, and now 405 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,679 Speaker 1: I'm kind of like going through it, like you should 406 00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,439 Speaker 1: really do it, Like she really wanted me to do it, 407 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,480 Speaker 1: so I didn't want to let them down. And I 408 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:51,359 Speaker 1: felt like that was the wrong reasons. I wasn't doing 409 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 1: it because yes, this is what I want to do. 410 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:54,639 Speaker 1: This is like you know what I mean. I just 411 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:59,280 Speaker 1: was not emotionally and spiritually aligned with the process. So 412 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 1: I'm going to give myself time. So that's basically what 413 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,359 Speaker 1: it is, you guys, And I wanted to tell you 414 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: guys this and share it with you because you guys 415 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: have seen like on the reality shows, like when I 416 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,679 Speaker 1: went to go see Doctor Goodear and then on the 417 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:12,400 Speaker 1: podcast I spoke to him and I was really like, yes, 418 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,600 Speaker 1: let's do is And the time came and I just 419 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 1: didn't feel like I was ready completely. I'll be honest 420 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:31,199 Speaker 1: with you, guys. I'll be honest. I think during the 421 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:38,280 Speaker 1: time when I started IVF, I felt again pressured. There's 422 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 1: always in every interview, it's always when are you gonna 423 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:46,160 Speaker 1: have kids? And you know, can you have kids? And 424 00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:50,880 Speaker 1: in reality, like I feel like I know I can. 425 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,000 Speaker 1: It's not like I'm like infertile. I know that I 426 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 1: could probably get pregnant. I just haven't really tried, you, guys, 427 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: I haven't really tried to get pregnant. There's ways and 428 00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,680 Speaker 1: things that you could do togain pregnant. I just haven't tried. 429 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: And it's because I want to say, eighty percent of 430 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: me is just not ready to have kids. And it 431 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,680 Speaker 1: could be because I raise my siblings. It could be 432 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,959 Speaker 1: because I'm living like the best time of my life 433 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 1: and I'm working and my career is going so amazing 434 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,720 Speaker 1: that I just want to focus on that. I want 435 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,880 Speaker 1: to focus on myself for a while because I gave 436 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,880 Speaker 1: so much of my life to my siblings, to my mom, 437 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:25,800 Speaker 1: and I don't regret it. But now I feel this 438 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,119 Speaker 1: it's my time, and I want to travel to so 439 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: many different places, and I have a partner that supports me, 440 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: and I'm just living the life that I've wanted to 441 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: live for a very long time. And I know that 442 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 1: I'm going to be an excellent mom if that's what 443 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,560 Speaker 1: God wants me to be and become. I know that 444 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,200 Speaker 1: my world is going to stop and so many things 445 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,239 Speaker 1: are going to change that I just don't know if 446 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: I'm necessarily ready for that. But it is exhausting to 447 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,160 Speaker 1: be asked all the time and to feel that pressure 448 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,120 Speaker 1: of the world, and especially being a Latina, it's kind 449 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,119 Speaker 1: of like, oh, well, you're already in your thirties and 450 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:01,640 Speaker 1: you don't have kids, Like it's kind of like frowned upon. 451 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,400 Speaker 1: And it's like a lot of men and women, even 452 00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,880 Speaker 1: women you know in our culture, are feel like, well, 453 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,119 Speaker 1: that's what you came to this life and this earth for. 454 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 1: It's to reproduce and yes to no, you know what 455 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 1: I mean. Like, I feel like no one should feel 456 00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:17,960 Speaker 1: pressured or feel like you need to have kids by 457 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,600 Speaker 1: this time or by this age, and it's like, no, 458 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:24,199 Speaker 1: that's not fair, Like this is how there are so 459 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,719 Speaker 1: many children I feel like in the system because of 460 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:31,119 Speaker 1: course people are irresponsible or certain things happen in their 461 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:32,919 Speaker 1: life and they get, you know, pregnant, and then they 462 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:35,280 Speaker 1: don't want the child, and you know, it's just it's 463 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,159 Speaker 1: like a that's a whole other episode, I feel. But 464 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: I feel like you're never going to be one hundred 465 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,640 Speaker 1: percent ready to have a child, but you I feel 466 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,480 Speaker 1: like you need to be at least eighty percent ninety 467 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,200 Speaker 1: percent to say, Okay, yeah, I want to have a kid. 468 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 1: So it is exhausting though, because it's like, dude, just 469 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,240 Speaker 1: let me live my life. Like in my mind, I've 470 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,520 Speaker 1: had four kids already, you know, my siblings, Like I 471 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 1: raise them, I help raise them, and I know what 472 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,359 Speaker 1: it is to do all that stuff, and I just 473 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 1: want to take my time. And dude. Janet Jackson had 474 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 1: her child, I think at fifty freaking Jalo had her 475 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 1: twins at thirty nine. Mariah, I mean, I'm not comparing 476 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,720 Speaker 1: myself to these women, but hey, they're artists, and it 477 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,679 Speaker 1: kind of just makes me and gives me hope. And 478 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,000 Speaker 1: my nell girl got pregnant. I don't knowwh're at forty two, 479 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:19,359 Speaker 1: so I don't know, but it is exhausting, you guys 480 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:21,320 Speaker 1: to think about it. And now I think that's why 481 00:23:21,359 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 1: I feel just relieved and I'm like, ugh, I could breathe, 482 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,760 Speaker 1: like this is my decision, this is my body, this 483 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:33,920 Speaker 1: is my future, this is my fucking life, and I'm 484 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: gonna do what I want to do when I want 485 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 1: to do it. And when I did that, I just 486 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,760 Speaker 1: felt like this huge weight off of my shoulders and 487 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: I was like, ah shit, yes, I could breathe. God 488 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,159 Speaker 1: has my back, and I'm like, dude, I have faith. 489 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:49,960 Speaker 1: I know what God can do. I know God is 490 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,080 Speaker 1: a god of miracles, and if I meant to have 491 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,679 Speaker 1: a child, it's gonna happen. And once I did that, 492 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,159 Speaker 1: I had complete peace and I said, Okay, cool, and 493 00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,040 Speaker 1: all the medication that I invested in it didn't go 494 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,440 Speaker 1: to waste, you guys. I gave it to Jessica. She's 495 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 1: gonna start I think her other round. I think she 496 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: already started in January, and I gave it to her. 497 00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,920 Speaker 1: I said, here, this is for you, and I felt 498 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,639 Speaker 1: good about giving her a gift because again it's expensive. 499 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:15,320 Speaker 1: And she was so happy. She said, oh my god, chikys, 500 00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:18,200 Speaker 1: thank you, and you know, and I bless someone else's life. 501 00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 1: So that made me feel better. And now I don't 502 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 1: feel so much pressure now. I'm I think that this 503 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,080 Speaker 1: year when they ask me, okay are your chickens, when 504 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,320 Speaker 1: you're gonna have kids? When God says that's what I'm 505 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 1: gonna answer, Guandodioskira to support my children. When you give 506 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,760 Speaker 1: me money, then maybe I'll have kids. I don't know. 507 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,000 Speaker 1: That was a whole lot. Huh, that's a whole lot. 508 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:42,919 Speaker 1: But I just had to take myself back to that moment. 509 00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,159 Speaker 1: And I get asked so much about kids, and I 510 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:47,800 Speaker 1: know a lot of people want to see one of 511 00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: my children, especially Johnny. Johnny really really wants me to 512 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: have kids. He thinks it's gonna happen this year. He's like, 513 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,040 Speaker 1: I don't know, but it's gonna happen. Twenty twenty three 514 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 1: is a year you're gonna get pregnant. It's gonna be 515 00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,399 Speaker 1: a girl. And he thinks that my my mother is 516 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,200 Speaker 1: going to reincarnate in my child. That is what Johnny says. 517 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 1: Might sound crazy, I don't know, but a lot of 518 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,399 Speaker 1: the things that this kid says comes true. He's very 519 00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,400 Speaker 1: spiritually connected as well. So I don't know. I'm leaving 520 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,640 Speaker 1: it in God's hands, you guys, But if you ask 521 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,960 Speaker 1: me what I do IVF again, yes I would. I 522 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,879 Speaker 1: would definitely try it. If I am spiritually, mentally and 523 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,720 Speaker 1: physically ready, I will do it. Do I recommend it, Yes, 524 00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 1: I do recommend it, And I do recommend for you 525 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,760 Speaker 1: to speak to a fertility doctor. Go to the fertility doctor. 526 00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 1: Ask all those questions because there's a lot of stuff 527 00:25:31,880 --> 00:25:33,399 Speaker 1: that I still don't know, in a lot of medical 528 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,000 Speaker 1: terms that I don't know how to even pronounce. But 529 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 1: it is important that you see a doctor if this 530 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 1: is what you want to do. And I think it's 531 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:45,040 Speaker 1: a beautiful thing that we have this available, and I 532 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,360 Speaker 1: feel good about my decision. I really do, all right. 533 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,520 Speaker 1: So that's my experience with IVF. I think it's a 534 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,080 Speaker 1: great option for a lot of women. I just didn't 535 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,639 Speaker 1: think it was right for me for my journey. And 536 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 1: once again, guys, my story is not a substitute for 537 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 1: medical that so it's important to do your own research 538 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,679 Speaker 1: and talk to a medical professional. Thank you, guys so 539 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,840 Speaker 1: much for listening to my story like always, los Quierro Mucco, 540 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,359 Speaker 1: and I hope it helps some of you in some way, 541 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,080 Speaker 1: some way, somehow. Now let's get into some words of inspiration. 542 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 1: It's time for my motivational quote. I feel like this 543 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 1: quote is very fitting for today's conversation. My own approval 544 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:33,960 Speaker 1: is all I need. My own approval is all I need. 545 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 1: And you, guys, that's what it is. Your decision, your life, 546 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 1: your consequences, you guys. So that is a quote. Thank 547 00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,040 Speaker 1: you so much again for being here with me. It 548 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 1: feels so good to be able to talk to you 549 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,480 Speaker 1: guys about anything and everything and just let it all out, 550 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,639 Speaker 1: tearran Chige's and Chill and just it's always just a 551 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 1: form of therapy. Thank you guys for listening, Losquierro Mucco 552 00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: and I will see you in the next episode of 553 00:26:58,320 --> 00:27:06,160 Speaker 1: Chiggi's and Chewvesitos. Do you need advice on love, relationships, 554 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: health emails. I'm so excited to share with you that 555 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,359 Speaker 1: my Cheeky's and Chill podcast will have an extra episode 556 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:16,359 Speaker 1: drop each week. I'll be answering all your questions. Just 557 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:21,679 Speaker 1: leave me a voice message. Betterson had midday all you 558 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 1: have to do is go to speak pipe dot com, 559 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,000 Speaker 1: slash Cheeky's and Chill podcasts and record your questions. I 560 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 1: can't wait to hear from you. This is a production 561 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:37,719 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and the Micudura podcast Network. Follow us on 562 00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,240 Speaker 1: Instagram at mica Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c 563 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,960 Speaker 1: h i q u i s. 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