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Speaker 1: Hey, CUTI misconnections. That was me staring. There's only two

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Speaker 1: places to find true love in this world. One is

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Speaker 1: an aisle sixteen of Walmart when you both reach for

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Speaker 1: the same tube of a mulcified cheeseburger paste you. The

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Speaker 1: other is on the pages of craigslist dot org. We

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Speaker 1: scour that website every week to find the best misconnections

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Speaker 1: that they have to offer, like this first one, titled

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Speaker 1: love at First Audit man for woman thirties Starbucks Downtown

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Speaker 1: says you cute barista, long dark hair, peanut shaped earrings,

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Speaker 1: and a smile that could make me blush from the

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Speaker 1: waist down. What you don't want to be blessing down there, buddy? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Me tall guy with a blue suit covered in mystery stains.

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Speaker 1: I didn't disclose this to you in person, but I'm

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Speaker 1: an I R. S agent who was on my break

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Speaker 1: and I tried to make conversation by asking, if you

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Speaker 1: declare all your tips on your taxes, you may have

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Speaker 1: just found the most unsexy job that he ever existed.

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Speaker 1: You replied, I have to do that. Pretty funny. It's

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Speaker 1: a joking. Weren't you? I think you were? Anyway, I

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Speaker 1: continue to flirt by explaining the differences from this year's

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Speaker 1: tax code to last year's and how economic diversity can

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Speaker 1: play into each submission we receive. You say, submission. I

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Speaker 1: got the vibe that we were connecting because I thought

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Speaker 1: you were taking all that info down, But then I

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Speaker 1: realized you were just writing my name on my cup.

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Speaker 1: Oh job. The bottom line, we have a lot in common.

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Speaker 1: We both have stains on our workout fits, and we

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Speaker 1: both deal with money. There's no reason you should have

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Speaker 1: stains on a muddy workout fit. If you see this.

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Speaker 1: Let's discuss the wonders of tax evasion over a mohito

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Speaker 1: or two. Wait, wait my god, he's for it. That's

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Speaker 1: signed Leo and then in parentheses the three legged taxman. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I see what he did there. Let's go to your

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Speaker 1: next misconnection titled I'll be your Greek freak woman for

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Speaker 1: man thirties Mediterranean food truck. Oh my god, I like

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Speaker 1: this one already? Is that bad? I want me to

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Speaker 1: You were the authentic Greek man who helps me with

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Speaker 1: my order yesterday. I say authentic because I could smell

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Speaker 1: the olive oil dripping from your hair as you handed

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Speaker 1: me back my chain. Here a little do you don't

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Speaker 1: remember I was the heavy set brunette with the tan

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Speaker 1: hoodie that said on the front, it's a beautiful day

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Speaker 1: to leave me alone. In retrospect, that was a mistake

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Speaker 1: because I wanted you to do the opposite. It does

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Speaker 1: send a message don't talk to me. Yeah, I approach.

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Speaker 1: I want you to maybe get in my business. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: direct today, after I ordered you told me to wait

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Speaker 1: by the picnic table for my name to be called out,

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Speaker 1: So I did. Boy, was that a mistake? Why? It

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Speaker 1: was just me and a suzeki saw squirt bottle. Every

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Speaker 1: time you turned back to talk with the cook, I

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Speaker 1: squirted some directly in my mouth. One time I missed

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Speaker 1: that it got all over my hoodie. Came it came

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Speaker 1: back to the window, and you handed me a handful

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Speaker 1: of napkins, then winked at me, saying you had to

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Speaker 1: take a leak. What. I don't think that the metaphor

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Speaker 1: the cook ended up bringing up my hero and as

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Speaker 1: I was driving away, I saw you relieving yourself behind

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Speaker 1: a tree. Apparently your hair isn't the only thing that's Greek.

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Speaker 1: I came back today to see you again, but I

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Speaker 1: was disappointed to find a taco truck in your spot,

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Speaker 1: Gringo Star. I still ordered from them, but I couldn't

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Speaker 1: stop thinking about you. That sign olive sign o, It's

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Speaker 1: meant to wow Fate. This next misconnection is titled Romance

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Speaker 1: Lance and his Fresh pair of pants Please for the

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Speaker 1: twenties laundromat. I was the swollen college dude with gray

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Speaker 1: sweats and a yellow tank top. You were the cute

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Speaker 1: blonde in the Baylor sweatshirt sitting on the dryer reading

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Speaker 1: al Gore is an inconvenient truth. Oh oh, this is

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Speaker 1: so college. I'll be hunted. I thought you were adorable

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Speaker 1: and I needed an opener, and thinking about it almost

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Speaker 1: hurt my brain. Could I jokingly try to convince you

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Speaker 1: that climate change is a hoax then end up in

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Speaker 1: a secret tickle fight? Secret tickle fighter is not what

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Speaker 1: you're gonna get? No, maybe not, so I went with

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Speaker 1: a different approach. I flashed my wicked smile at you,

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Speaker 1: and then asked if I could borrow a dryer sheet.

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Speaker 1: You handed me one, and then you watched in awe

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Speaker 1: as I rubbed it on my pits. No, I told

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Speaker 1: you I saw that trick on Good Morning America once,

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Speaker 1: because I watched it with my mom in high school. Hey,

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Speaker 1: we could have gone just with TikTok or something. Hopefully

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Speaker 1: that was a turn on me being close with my

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Speaker 1: mom and all. Oh, it doesn't tend to be. You

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Speaker 1: were tough to read. So I just walked around the

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Speaker 1: laundromat in a circle for the next twenty minutes, passing

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Speaker 1: you frequently. One time you looked up from your book

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Speaker 1: and I smiled again and said, just get my steps in.

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Speaker 1: As you were folding, I wrote my number down and

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Speaker 1: slipped it into your hamper. But so far no call.

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Speaker 1: I'm not worried, though you probably don't have a cell

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Speaker 1: phone because it's quote bad for the environment that she

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Speaker 1: would probably say that. And if you see this borrow

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Speaker 1: of friends and let's kick it. Oh wow, that signed Duban,

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Speaker 1: I smell downy fresh. Yeah, those are your Craigslist misconnections

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Speaker 1: for the week. We got your phone, jap coming up

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Speaker 1: brooking Jeffrey in the morning.