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Speaker 1: This is John.

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Speaker 2: This is your og okay Storytime podcast hosts, and we.

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Speaker 1: Have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick cheum in an ad break from a

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Speaker 2: sponsors keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: I realize my parents resent me for starting my own family.

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Speaker 1: You can only have one.

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Speaker 3: I posted this in another sub and someone recommended it

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Speaker 3: I posted here. I hope that's okay. You know what

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Speaker 3: it absolutely is. I had someone of a revelation this weekend.

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Speaker 3: I'm still processing how I feel about it and considering

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Speaker 3: if I should confront my parents. Anyway, here it is,

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Speaker 3: I believe my parents resent me for starting my own family.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from the town and if

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Speaker 3: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 3: r slash okay story Time supreddit. So I forty mail

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Speaker 3: come from a big family. I'm the second oldest of

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Speaker 3: nine kids. Wow, big family. My older sister, Jane, is

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Speaker 3: just a year older than me. There is a six

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Speaker 3: year gap between me and the next sibling. Then, my

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Speaker 3: mom had a care every two to three years. Since

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Speaker 3: Jade and I were the oldest, we always helped with

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Speaker 3: the little kids and the chores around the house. In fact,

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Speaker 3: it was common for my parents and other adults to

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Speaker 3: refer to us as Jade and Opie and the kids. Dang,

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Speaker 3: that kind of sucks. It's like Jade and I were

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Speaker 3: not considered children. It's more like we were two other

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Speaker 3: adults living in the house. We were homeschooled, so we

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Speaker 3: were home all the time. Part of my job is

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Speaker 3: that I would wake up, make breakfast for the kids,

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Speaker 3: then get them started with their school or activities before

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Speaker 3: I started my own schoolwork. Jane would sleep in because

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Speaker 3: she was more of a night owl, and it was

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Speaker 3: her job to help at night with the baby. Because

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Speaker 3: there was always a baby. Jade and I did most

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Speaker 3: of the chores around the house. We took turns either

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Speaker 3: cleaning the kitchen or doing the laundry, of which there

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Speaker 3: was a lot. I did all the guy stuff like

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Speaker 3: mowing the yard and taking out the trash, yeah.

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Speaker 1: And replacing the engine in the car and putting new

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Speaker 1: shingles on the roof.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. As I got older, I would delegate some of

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Speaker 3: these chores to my younger brother, but it was still

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Speaker 3: my responsibility to make sure it got done. Once I

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Speaker 3: was old enough to drive, I would run errands and

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Speaker 3: take the kids everywhere. I can't tell you how many

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Speaker 3: times I would take the kids to things like playdates

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Speaker 3: or doctor's appointments.

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Speaker 4: I would often tug the kids in bed and tell

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Speaker 4: them stories.

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Speaker 3: To me, these things were all just normal, but looking

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Speaker 3: back on it, I was more like a second dad

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Speaker 3: to the kids than a brother. Jane and I did

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Speaker 3: have a lot of freedom as teenagers to go out

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Speaker 3: with our friends if chores were done. We didn't have

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Speaker 3: cell phones back then. If we wanted to go out,

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Speaker 3: we would just tell our parents we were going, and

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Speaker 3: they didn't care as long as we were back by

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Speaker 3: the next morning. I moved out when I was twenty,

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Speaker 3: but I still spent a lot of time with my parents,

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Speaker 3: and one of my younger siblings was always at my house.

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Speaker 3: One brother, JJ, pretty much lived with me since he

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Speaker 3: was fourteen because he and our mom didn't get along.

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Speaker 3: When JJ was seventeen, he got in a wreck and

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Speaker 3: he called me instead of calling dad, because I was

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Speaker 3: just the one who handled those kinds of things. During

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Speaker 3: all this time, my parents always talked about how important

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Speaker 3: it was for Jane and I to help with the

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Speaker 3: kids because they were so busy with their ministry. I

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Speaker 3: can't count how many times I had to drop what

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Speaker 3: I was doing to take care of something because Mom

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Speaker 3: or Dad were counseling someone. Sorry, I feel like I'm rambling.

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Speaker 3: I hope I have a painted an accurate picture of

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Speaker 3: my childhood.

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Speaker 4: Let's move on.

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Speaker 3: So I had not really dated much, but when I

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Speaker 3: was twenty five, I met and started dating Anne.

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Speaker 4: We fell in love.

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Speaker 3: Fast and got married less than a year later. Wow,

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Speaker 3: my younger siblings love Anne. She is a great cook

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Speaker 3: and hostess. Our house became the hangout spot. My younger

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Speaker 3: siblings started calling her Mama Anne, something they still do

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Speaker 3: to this day.

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Speaker 4: Oh wow, that's weird.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if you've been parentified to the point where

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Speaker 1: your younger siblings consider you more like a dad. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess it does make sense to some level.

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Speaker 3: It makes sense, but when you really think about it,

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Speaker 3: it's like it should not be how it is. It

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Speaker 3: is a unique tree, certainly, Yeah, definitely. We have now

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Speaker 3: been married fifteen years and have two kids of our own.

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Speaker 3: My mom and Jane did not like Anne. Jane and

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Speaker 3: Anne get along okay now, but Anne and my mom

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Speaker 3: do not have a good relationship. I never understood why,

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Speaker 3: but I think I have finally figured out that it's

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Speaker 3: because they see it as Anne having taken me away.

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Speaker 4: As Anne and I focused on.

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Speaker 3: Our relationship and started a family, I spent less and

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Speaker 3: less time doing things for my parents. My dad liked

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Speaker 3: Anne at first, but over the past few years their

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Speaker 3: relationship has soured. Throughout the years, my dad has made

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Speaker 3: comments to me about keeping up my responsibilities. One time

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Speaker 3: he called me about one of the younger kids who

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Speaker 3: had gotten in a fight with my mom and said.

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Speaker 4: You better get your brother in change his attitude.

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Speaker 3: It's not okay how we treated your mom, and you

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Speaker 3: are going to make him apologize.

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Speaker 1: You can't outsource parenting to your children.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a great way to put it, Like, can't

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Speaker 4: you do something about that?

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Speaker 1: You're literally his dad is crazy. Come on, man.

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Speaker 3: A few years ago, Anne and I set some boundaries

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Speaker 3: with my parents, telling them that we were not going

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Speaker 3: to raise or discipline their kids. Our home is always

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Speaker 3: opened to my siblings, but we no longer let my

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Speaker 3: parents try and use us to straighten them up. My

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Speaker 3: parents have not taken this well. About a year ago,

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Speaker 3: Anne injured her foot and couldn't walk for a while

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Speaker 3: just as she was getting better, I was diagnosed with

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Speaker 3: kidney disease, which then turned into kidney failure. Oh no,

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Speaker 3: I've had several surgeries, with another one coming in a

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Speaker 3: few weeks.

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Speaker 4: It has been a rough year.

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Speaker 3: During this time, my parents have not only refused to help,

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Speaker 3: they have actively made things harder for us, things like

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Speaker 3: promising to help with our kids, but then canceling at

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Speaker 3: the last minute, usually because something ministry related came up. Recently,

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Speaker 3: my sister in law, who lives in another state, had

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Speaker 3: a baby, and my mom has been staying with her

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Speaker 3: and helping for the past six weeks. My sister in

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Speaker 3: law has said that Mom is a godsend and is

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Speaker 3: so wonderful. My dad has gone to help every weekend.

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Speaker 3: This hurts me because my mom wouldn't give us a

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Speaker 3: single night to help with our youngest when he was born. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry this post has turned out longer than I

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Speaker 3: thought it was. I needed to get some things off

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Speaker 3: my chest. This weekend, I was talking to another sister

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Speaker 3: and telling her how I don't understand why mom and

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Speaker 3: dad don't treat me like they do the rest of

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Speaker 3: the kids, even Jane. It's like I'm not one of

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Speaker 3: their children, and it just kind of hit me that

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Speaker 3: they resent me for getting married and starting my own

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Speaker 3: family and leaving them to raise their own kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Honestly, I don't even know if the first part

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Speaker 1: is applicable, Like, I don't know if they're even mad

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Speaker 1: that you have your own family. I think they're just

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Speaker 1: mad that you're not available to do things for them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like they are treating you like hired, like

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Speaker 3: a nanny, Like a nanny that they are paying for

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Speaker 3: you to be there, yet they're not.

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Speaker 1: They just got used to you jumping when they say jump,

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Speaker 1: and now you're like, I won't do that anymore, and

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Speaker 1: they're mad you could have a family you could not

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Speaker 1: the moment that you were like, hey, I'm living my

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Speaker 1: own life. Now you're gonna have to raise your own children,

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Speaker 1: they were always going to get iffy on you.

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Speaker 4: I think, yeah, and it sucks that it's just you.

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Speaker 3: I think maybe you were just really good at what

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Speaker 3: you were doing and they just got like, really reliant

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Speaker 3: on that help with the family.

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Speaker 1: What is that the paradox where it's like you do

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Speaker 1: such a good job at work that you get punished

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Speaker 1: for it instead of Oh, yeah, like help, because now

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Speaker 1: they just expect you to do all this stuff. They're

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Speaker 1: not paying you extra for it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's exactly what's going on here, exactly. Yes,

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Speaker 3: they're not expecting this of Jane. Maybe she's just not

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Speaker 3: as good as a fake parent.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Disparity between the siblings is strange to

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Speaker 1: me too.

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Speaker 4: It's very interesting. Part of me is.

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Speaker 3: Relieved to finally realize why they treat me like they do,

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Speaker 3: and part of me is sad. I'm kind of scared

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Speaker 3: about this upcoming surgery and I really wish I had

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Speaker 3: a parent I could talk to about it. But I

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Speaker 3: don't feel like I have parents, just some people that

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Speaker 3: I co parented my siblings with. And there are some comments. Man,

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Speaker 3: that's hard.

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Speaker 4: Tomas.

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Speaker 3: Number one says your parents used religion as an excuse

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Speaker 3: not to parent. Extremely bad parenting, and it was wrong

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Speaker 3: expecting you to do the job that they should have

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Speaker 3: been doing. Your parents need a wake up call about

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Speaker 3: their selfishness. I hit them with what they have done wrong.

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Speaker 3: Then go no contact, as you don't need that kind

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Speaker 3: of negativity in your life. Commentary number two says, your

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Speaker 3: parents seem so absent from your life. I'm so sorry

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Speaker 3: that this has happened to you. Take this time to

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Speaker 3: focus on your real family, your wife and kids. That

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Speaker 3: should be your priority now that your folks have revealed

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Speaker 3: themselves for who they really are. Parentification is a type

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Speaker 3: of neglect, and you've certainly suffered from it. Opie responds,

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Speaker 3: absent from my life is a very good way to

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Speaker 3: put it. Even though I see them frequently, they have

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Speaker 3: no idea what is actually going on with me. When

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Speaker 3: I had my first surgery last year, my mom told people,

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Speaker 3: OPI is having a surgery and has to do treatments

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Speaker 3: for a few weeks, then he will be better. I

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Speaker 3: had to call her and say, Mom, stop telling people

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Speaker 3: that the surgery is to have a port installed in

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Speaker 3: my body so I can have treatments, which I have

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Speaker 3: to do for the rest of my life.

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Speaker 4: I will not be all better in a few weeks. Wow,

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Speaker 4: So she really has no idea what's going on.

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Speaker 1: You're just like a weird delusional thing to say yeah,

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Speaker 1: or if you like, just actually don't care enough to

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Speaker 1: really know what's going on. Either one of those is bad.

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Speaker 4: All of the above could be happening right now.

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Speaker 3: Even with that, she is completely checked out, but at

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Speaker 3: least she gets to be the grandmother of the year

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Speaker 3: for my brother and sister in law. Someone responds, it

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Speaker 3: is possible that your mom is a self absorbed person

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Speaker 3: and actually resents the attention you would have being sick,

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Speaker 3: or maybe she's just an idiot. Those seem like the

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Speaker 3: two only options to me. I am so sorry that

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Speaker 3: you were dealing with this. Hopefully some of your younger

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Speaker 3: siblings can help you in the future.

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Speaker 4: Hope.

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Speaker 3: He responds, Yes, she is a self absorbed person. I

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Speaker 3: think she is purposely in denial about my illness because

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Speaker 3: then she would have to admit that she is not

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Speaker 3: helping her sick child. The younger siblings who live close

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Speaker 3: have helped a lot, and the ones that don't live

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Speaker 3: close have still helps with moral support. And guess what, Dakota,

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Speaker 3: what we've got an update?

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Speaker 1: Oh boy, oh boy?

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Speaker 4: But where is your head at before we go into

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Speaker 4: this update?

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Speaker 1: I do. I think it's just how you got to

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Speaker 1: focus on the family you're building.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, I mean, obviously a talk couldn't hurt

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Speaker 3: you know, you could always try to talk to your

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Speaker 3: mom about this, try to tell her how it's feeling,

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Speaker 3: how it's coming across. But at the end of the day,

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Speaker 3: like you can't really control how she is acting with

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Speaker 3: all this stuff, so you really can only focus on yourself.

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Speaker 4: And your family. But that still just sucks, though that's

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Speaker 4: what you have to do.

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Speaker 1: It does. It's not good, but it feels like trying

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Speaker 1: to undo how she is is just unrealistic, you know exactly.

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Speaker 3: But we do have an update. So thanks to everyone

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Speaker 3: who engaged with my last post. It has been a therapeutic.

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Speaker 3: This post is a brief update and then I will

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Speaker 3: answer some questions.

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Speaker 4: So update.

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Speaker 3: I spoke with my wife and about it last night.

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Speaker 3: I said something along the lines of I've realized that

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Speaker 3: my parents resent me for starting my own family and

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Speaker 3: not helping them as much, and that is why they

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Speaker 3: treat me so differently. And I think that you've been

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Speaker 3: trying to gently tell me this for years, but I

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Speaker 3: was too dense to get it. We were sitting in

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Speaker 3: the bed at the time, and she leaned over and

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Speaker 3: patted me on the head and said, you are so pretty.

256
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Speaker 3: I laughed for like ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: A little pretty guy doesn't have any brain.

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Speaker 3: It was a great emotional release a lot of you.

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Speaker 3: So that she sounds wonderful, and she really is. I

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Speaker 3: just can't express how much I love her. About Jane,

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Speaker 3: my older sister, Jane did get married and start a

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Speaker 3: family about two years after I did. Jane and I

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Speaker 3: had a falling out and didn't speak for several years.

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Speaker 3: But we are okay now, just not very close. Our

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Speaker 3: falling out was more about religion than anything. She's very

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Speaker 3: religious like my parents, while I am not. I am

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Speaker 3: religious and we attend church, but it's not our whole

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Speaker 3: life like it is for my parents and Jane. For

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Speaker 3: our younger siblings, the youngest is twenty two, so they

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Speaker 3: are all adults now. The second to youngest has passed

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Speaker 3: away several years ago, so there are eight of us now.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. I am very close with all of

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Speaker 4: my younger siblings.

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Speaker 3: They still come hang out at my house all the time,

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Speaker 3: and they are all great aunts and uncles to my kids.

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Speaker 4: All of them, including Jane. Are ops with how my

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Speaker 4: parents treated me this past year. Oh well that's good.

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Speaker 4: At least they've got the other siblings on his side.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you meet like the siblings who are basically

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Speaker 1: your children.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, literally, So for help with my kids. While I'm disappointed,

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Speaker 3: in my parents for not helping. I do not need

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Speaker 3: their help. Anne and I have close friends, plus we

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Speaker 3: both have siblings at help AND's parents live far away,

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Speaker 3: but they help when they can. We really are okay

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Speaker 3: and feel very blessed and loved with all the help

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Speaker 3: that we have received for therapy. Part of my kidney

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Speaker 3: treatment plan includes access to a therapist, and I love her.

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Speaker 3: She has been great in helping me learn to live

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Speaker 3: with an illness. I'm not sure if she is the

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Speaker 3: right person to speak with about my parents, but I

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Speaker 3: will ask her and see if she.

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Speaker 4: Can refer someone.

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Speaker 3: If not, I will wait until after my surgery to

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Speaker 3: bring this up, as I need to just focus on

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Speaker 3: that right.

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Speaker 4: Now, setting boundaries.

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Speaker 3: When I say my parents won't help, it's not that

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Speaker 3: they say that they won't help, it's that they offer

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Speaker 3: to help and then either bail at the last minute

301
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Speaker 3: or change plans so much that it cast Ann.

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Speaker 4: And I a lot of stress.

303
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Speaker 3: A few months ago, Anne was sick and my mother

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Speaker 3: offered to pick our kids up from school. It's a

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Speaker 3: long story, but she kept changing things and making it

306
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Speaker 3: very complicated, and my youngest ended up being left alone

307
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Speaker 3: for a little and he got scared. After that, I

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Speaker 3: had a harsh talk with my parents and told them

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Speaker 3: how disappointed I was in them and how I needed

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Speaker 3: to focus on my health and that they were making

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Speaker 3: things worse. I told them that they are not allowed

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Speaker 3: to take my kids anywhere, They are not allowed to

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Speaker 3: just drop by my house, and in fact, they were

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Speaker 3: not even allowed to offer help because my mom doesn't

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Speaker 3: take no for an answer and will nag until she

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Speaker 3: wears me down. My parents were bad about this, but

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Speaker 3: all seven of my siblings took my side and rallied

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Speaker 3: about me, and so my parents have respected that so far.

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Speaker 3: As for going no contact, a lot of people recommended

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Speaker 3: going no contact.

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Speaker 1: I don't want that.

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Speaker 4: I still love my parents, even though they have not

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Speaker 4: been great parents. My kids love.

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Speaker 3: Them too, and I don't want to take that away.

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Speaker 3: They are good grandparents when they show up. I don't

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Speaker 3: think my parents are awful people. I think that they

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Speaker 3: just had this vision of how they wanted to have

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Speaker 3: this big family and this big ministry, and I think

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Speaker 3: they just didn't realize the responsibilities they put on Jane

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Speaker 3: and I.

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Speaker 4: I've spoken to them in.

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Speaker 3: The past and expressed how it was messed up that

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Speaker 3: they put so much on us as kids, and they

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Speaker 3: have apologized. Well that's good at least.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they've kind of realized that's one of the great

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Speaker 1: things about talking it out.

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Speaker 4: With people, communication people.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I exactly how I said it earlier,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, you just gotta talk to your parents, be like,

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Speaker 1: here's how I'm feeling, here's what I'm gonna do, and

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Speaker 1: then just live your life by that exactly. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to cut them off forever, just yeah, don't let

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Speaker 1: them decide how you do things.

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Speaker 3: I think going no contact is definitely a big jump

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Speaker 3: for these people to suggest, especially without like a conversation

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Speaker 3: first at least. Yeah, putting my parents on blast at

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Speaker 3: their church, oh wow, okay, Oh, so I guess there's

348
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,600
Speaker 3: more than a conversation going on. Several people recommended going

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Speaker 3: to their church and telling people how they have treated me.

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Speaker 4: You don't understand this church.

351
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Speaker 3: They would praise my parents for putting God in the

352
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Speaker 3: ministry above anything else. These super religious people are crazy.

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Speaker 3: So I guess, oh, he didn't put them on blast

354
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Speaker 3: of the church. That's just what people were suggesting.

355
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Speaker 1: Do we not even remember the story of canaan Abel,

356
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Speaker 1: Like I don't. It's literally the whole story of that

357
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Speaker 1: is God being like, hey, do this crazy, ridiculous thing

358
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Speaker 1: I'd never ask you to do. Yeah, And then He's like,

359
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Speaker 1: all right, I guess I will. And God's like, hey,

360
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Speaker 1: what are you doing. You're supposed to say no, Dan,

361
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Speaker 1: it was like sacrificing his like firstborn child or whatever.

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Speaker 3: Whoa.

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Speaker 1: And it's like God's like, day, don't he I'm not

364
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Speaker 1: gonna no, don't do that.

365
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Speaker 4: It's like, bro, I was just choking. What are you

366
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Speaker 4: talking about?

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Speaker 1: And it sounds like this ministry would be like get

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Speaker 1: rid of the child? Yeah, keet rid of the child.

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Speaker 4: Interesting, I didn't know about that.

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Speaker 1: I hope I didn't mess that up.

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Speaker 4: Well, we'll researching later. I guess that's it for now.

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Speaker 3: My surgery is in less than two weeks, so I'm

373
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Speaker 3: going to focus on that. I'm going to put this

374
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Speaker 3: thing with my parents on the back burner, and later

375
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Speaker 3: I will decide what, if anything, I'm going to do.

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Speaker 3: Thanks again to everyone for your comments. It has really

377
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:05,440
Speaker 3: helped me work through some feelings. But we have a

378
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:09,840
Speaker 3: second update. Ooh, I'm just gonna jump right into it.

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Speaker 1: Let's go.

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Speaker 3: Thanks to everyone who has reached out and wished to

381
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,440
Speaker 3: be a speedy recovery. My surgery was last week and

382
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:17,360
Speaker 3: it's going better than expected.

383
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Speaker 4: Okay, yay.

384
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,360
Speaker 3: All the surgeries and treatments in the past year felt

385
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,920
Speaker 3: like it was just keeping me alive, But with this surgery,

386
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,680
Speaker 3: a kidney transplant, I feel like I'm working towards getting

387
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:27,560
Speaker 3: my normal life back.

388
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Speaker 4: Oh good.

389
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,520
Speaker 3: It's been hard and painful, but I was expecting it

390
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,280
Speaker 3: to be worse, so I can't complain at all. Anne

391
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:35,600
Speaker 3: is always telling me that she doesn't get enough credit

392
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,160
Speaker 3: for being funny, so the fact that so many of

393
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 3: you laughed when she told me that I was pretty

394
00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:42,760
Speaker 3: has made her happy. She said, I like these Reddit people.

395
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,240
Speaker 3: That's so cute. This whole post started because I was

396
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,600
Speaker 3: having a conversation with one of my sisters. I'll call

397
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:51,040
Speaker 3: her Six, since I can't keep making up names. Plus

398
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 3: she is following this thread and will hate that I'm

399
00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:56,040
Speaker 3: actually calling her that Six had had a fight with

400
00:16:56,080 --> 00:16:59,120
Speaker 3: our parents and I was sharing with her that Anne

401
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,840
Speaker 3: and I had recently set strong boundaries with them and

402
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:02,720
Speaker 3: encouraged her.

403
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,880
Speaker 4: To do the same. So she did and they did

404
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:05,600
Speaker 4: not take it.

405
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:06,040
Speaker 5: Well.

406
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 4: Ooh, are we surprised.

407
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 1: Ooh, zero percent surprise.

408
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:14,080
Speaker 3: This led to several conversations with different siblings, and both

409
00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,840
Speaker 3: five and nine also decided to set some boundaries. This

410
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,080
Speaker 3: has also led to other siblings deciding to confront our

411
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,600
Speaker 3: parents about how they have treated me this past year

412
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Speaker 3: while I have been sick.

413
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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I'm just imagining them writing a sermon

414
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 1: about this being like when one snake poisons the congregation,

415
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,679
Speaker 1: it will spread like a toxin through the veins of

416
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Speaker 1: a community.

417
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,200
Speaker 3: It's literally what's happening. They're just like it's everyone is like, oh,

418
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,399
Speaker 3: you know what, Yeah, let's all just band together and

419
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,320
Speaker 3: fight our parents.

420
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Speaker 1: We're all gonna have boundaries. Yeah.

421
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,520
Speaker 3: Jane, the oldest called me the day before my surgery

422
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:55,640
Speaker 3: to check on me, and we ended up talking about

423
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,120
Speaker 3: our childhood. We have not been closed for a number

424
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,440
Speaker 3: of years. However, I feel like we bought did on

425
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,040
Speaker 3: this call. It was interesting talking to her as an

426
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 3: adult and reliving some things. She has been in therapy

427
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 3: for a few years, and she said sometimes she will

428
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 3: be talking and her therapist will stop her and say, Jane,

429
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 3: you just casually rolled through some messed up stuff.

430
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Speaker 4: We need to stop and unback this.

431
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,760
Speaker 3: That's like the best time in therapy though, where the

432
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,040
Speaker 3: therapist is like whoa, whoaoa, whoa what.

433
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,639
Speaker 1: Dude, I have to do that to my friend the

434
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 1: other day, Yeah, my friend, which I will not share

435
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,960
Speaker 1: what it was. Sure, my friend told me some stuff

436
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,359
Speaker 1: and then just like casually moved on and I'm like whoa,

437
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,879
Speaker 1: Like hang on, hang on, We're addressing that one real quick.

438
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,720
Speaker 4: We will be schalant about this.

439
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 1: Yes, for a long time.

440
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,119
Speaker 3: I have blamed her for the way that she treated

441
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:42,080
Speaker 3: me when we were younger, but now I am beginning

442
00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 3: to understand that she was also just a kid trying

443
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 3: to cope. I have a lot more grace for her now.

444
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,679
Speaker 3: We have been texting a lot in the past few weeks.

445
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,000
Speaker 3: My parents did come visit after the surgery, but we

446
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:55,960
Speaker 3: didn't talk about any family drama. My siblings have said

447
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,480
Speaker 3: that they are not taking these new boundaries well at all.

448
00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,480
Speaker 4: Oh no, I hope that day.

449
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,199
Speaker 3: They wake up and realize that all eight of their

450
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,080
Speaker 3: children are disappointed in them, and they work to be

451
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:05,679
Speaker 3: better people.

452
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,440
Speaker 4: But I am not holding my breath.

453
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,560
Speaker 3: It seems that they are placing all the blame like

454
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,360
Speaker 3: they normally do.

455
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:12,560
Speaker 1: This is just an attack by the devil.

456
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 3: Oh No, if only it were that simple, folks, And

457
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,520
Speaker 3: and I decided that moving forward, we are going to

458
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 3: continue low contact with strong boundaries.

459
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 4: With such a large family going.

460
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 3: No contact, it would be hard and create a lot

461
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 3: of awkward situations where we would still have to see them.

462
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 4: By the way, it will.

463
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,679
Speaker 3: Never be awkward when you see us, or listen to

464
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,800
Speaker 3: us on Apple podcasts, Ieheart Radio and Spotify whatever your

465
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,960
Speaker 3: favorite podcast app is. Just search okay, storytype, you're gonna

466
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Speaker 3: find full episodes with more stories just like this one.

467
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,760
Speaker 1: Over two thousand of them. What are you doing?

468
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 3: Never gonna be awkward? Come on, But there is a

469
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,440
Speaker 3: little bit more to the story. Do you have any

470
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 3: final thoughts before we move on?

471
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,680
Speaker 1: Boundaries good?

472
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:52,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right.

473
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,520
Speaker 1: Boundaries good. They can be hard to set, but set

474
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:57,560
Speaker 1: them and stick with them.

475
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, And it'll probably take some time.

476
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,239
Speaker 3: I mean, if he is forty now and this is

477
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,479
Speaker 3: like just now, when all of the like siblings are

478
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 3: setting boundaries and stuff like, it's gonna take some time

479
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,639
Speaker 3: for them to adjust. Yes, at least you're trying. But

480
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 3: there is a little bit more to this story. We

481
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 3: have also talked to our kids, and they have both

482
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:20,200
Speaker 3: expressed that they want to have a relationship with their grandparents. Well,

483
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,479
Speaker 3: I do not expect my parents to change. I do

484
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,720
Speaker 3: believe that they will respect our boundaries. My attitude towards

485
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,239
Speaker 3: them has also changed. I no longer feel like I

486
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 3: owe them anything. We will continue a relationship with them

487
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 3: because it is what's best for my family, not because

488
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 3: they deserve it. Lastly, I received a recommendation for a

489
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 3: family therapist and I have an appointment scheduled.

490
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 4: For next month. Alright, that's the end of that story.

491
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 1: Yes, we love to see it.

492
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,919
Speaker 3: We got communication, we got boundaries, we got therapy, and

493
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,480
Speaker 3: we got family therapy.

494
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 1: I love when if story ends with therapy.

495
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:55,080
Speaker 4: It's the only way it should end.

496
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 1: The best ending, the best ending. My wife gained a

497
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,120
Speaker 1: life of weight. It's ruining our marriage.

498
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 4: I of like where this is going.

499
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,960
Speaker 1: And by the way, I'm gonna put a trigger warning

500
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,920
Speaker 1: here for a little fat phobia, as this story obviously

501
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,679
Speaker 1: centers around Wait, so if you don't want to hear

502
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 1: anyone's opinions on that, who next story? Please? Our situation

503
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 1: is a little different than most others. My wife and

504
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,360
Speaker 1: I are both second generation Indian Americans. Our parents moved here,

505
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 1: but we were born and raised here and we actually

506
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,640
Speaker 1: met through a somewhat arranged dating thing. By the way,

507
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,000
Speaker 1: this comes from user help Wait and if you want

508
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,880
Speaker 1: to submit your own stories, go to the our slash. Okay,

509
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 1: storytime suburd it. So we talked for a month and

510
00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:42,200
Speaker 1: a half and then we got engaged and married two

511
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,560
Speaker 1: months later. Okay, so three and a half months into

512
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:45,520
Speaker 1: knowing someone.

513
00:21:45,359 --> 00:21:47,400
Speaker 4: Married, boom got it.

514
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 1: I know this is odd, but in a lot of

515
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:53,439
Speaker 1: arranged marriages, people move a lot faster. Also, our age

516
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 1: played a big part, since we are on the older side.

517
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: We talked and discussed a lot of things and everything

518
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: was laid out on the table. We got married January

519
00:22:01,359 --> 00:22:04,880
Speaker 1: third in India, where we recently had our one year anniversary.

520
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 1: The reason why I'm posting on this forum is that

521
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm really worried about my wife's weight. When we got married,

522
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:15,880
Speaker 1: she was petit and looked absolutely beautiful. However, now she

523
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 1: has put on a significant amount of weight. She says

524
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,680
Speaker 1: that since she's married now she can finally be free,

525
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,440
Speaker 1: but it really is hurting my attraction towards her. Oh,

526
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 1: she has always been on the slimmer side, and all

527
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 1: of her pictures in college showed me she was even slimmer.

528
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,640
Speaker 1: I go to the gym regularly, and my wife told

529
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:38,520
Speaker 1: me she did too. However, nowadays she rarely goes. She'll

530
00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:41,199
Speaker 1: make some excuse that she's tired, something happened, and she

531
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 1: won't go, and most of the time I end up

532
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 1: going alone. She'll probably go to the gym once a

533
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 1: week if that, but usually ends up eating more that day,

534
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 1: so it doesn't even have a positive effect. All of

535
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,919
Speaker 1: her weight gain has really caused me to lose a

536
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: lot of attraction towards her. When I tried to talk

537
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,600
Speaker 1: to her about this, she tells me I'm her husband

538
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 1: and I need to love her spite her weight. She

539
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,400
Speaker 1: points out that my mom is fat and my dad

540
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 1: still loves her. I've tried to get her to do

541
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 1: some home workouts with me, but she turns me down.

542
00:23:09,040 --> 00:23:11,879
Speaker 1: I even tried making healthy meals for us, which she

543
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: will eat, but then ends up snacking away. What really

544
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 1: is frustrating about all of this is that she was

545
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 1: petiited for most of her life. It's not as if

546
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: she can't lose weight or doesn't know how. That's why

547
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 1: I'm posting on here, not a sports or fitness related

548
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:27,919
Speaker 1: for him. Do you guys have any ideas on what

549
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: I can do? And there are some comments. Yeah, we're

550
00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 1: just gonna get into these constantly. What the comments have

551
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,920
Speaker 1: to say about this gentleman's perspective.

552
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 4: Let's do it.

553
00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:39,240
Speaker 1: She's made it clear that this is the new status quo.

554
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,640
Speaker 1: If she doesn't come around, what's your end game? Op

555
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,560
Speaker 1: says she's been talking about trying for a baby right now.

556
00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:48,080
Speaker 1: I told her that life is on pause until then.

557
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 1: She isn't happy about it, saying that the older she gets,

558
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 1: the more likely birth defects or complications, et cetera. But

559
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 1: if she gains this much weight without any kids, with kids,

560
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 1: she might be two hundred and no time. I will

561
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:02,280
Speaker 1: ask my quot question again, says a commenter. If she

562
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,400
Speaker 1: does not change, what is your end game? Opie says,

563
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,000
Speaker 1: I would have to talk to my family about this.

564
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:10,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to say anything bad to them about

565
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 1: her yet. Okay, then, right now she has no motivation

566
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 1: to change. If she got more overweight, would you divorce her?

567
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:21,720
Speaker 1: Opie said? Divorce is permanent, so I can't say for sure,

568
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 1: but I would definitely lean towards that yes. Comment to says,

569
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,160
Speaker 1: if she's never been fat before and spent twenty five

570
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 1: years being pressured by strict Indian parents to stay skinny

571
00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 1: in order to attract a better husband, she doesn't even

572
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,360
Speaker 1: get to choose. I can totally see why she's doing this.

573
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 1: She's probably always been under their thumbs, and she's got

574
00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: a taste of freedom. It's really not so different from

575
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 1: how anarexics restrict as an expression of control. She's likely

576
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 1: not had much control in her life, and she's asserting

577
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:55,479
Speaker 1: her autonomy by allowing herself to eat what she wants.

578
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,919
Speaker 1: She doesn't know what it's like yet to not be

579
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,840
Speaker 1: able to see your own junk, or to get winded

580
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,560
Speaker 1: just from walking before her knees to crinkle like a

581
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 1: crisp packet.

582
00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 4: This is a crazy comment.

583
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,800
Speaker 1: She may see reason once she's had a bad checkup,

584
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: or realize how ugly plus sized clothes are, or after

585
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 1: she's had a few run ins with good old public

586
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:15,400
Speaker 1: fat shaming.

587
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,439
Speaker 3: What so this commentary is saying, like, just wait, like

588
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:21,040
Speaker 3: she might get bullied out of it, People might fat

589
00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 3: shame her in public and then she'll be fine.

590
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:23,960
Speaker 1: Is that?

591
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:24,119
Speaker 3: What?

592
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 4: This commentary is.

593
00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,400
Speaker 1: Saying yes, which I disagree with.

594
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 4: This really is a crazy comment.

595
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:33,520
Speaker 1: These comments are whack. Getting fat feels great, especially if

596
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,920
Speaker 1: you're eating your feelings. Being fat sucks, but unfortunately a

597
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: lot of people have to learn that the hard way.

598
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I don't know how to help her, but

599
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,360
Speaker 1: I think you'll have better luck having a frank discussion

600
00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,520
Speaker 1: from a place of love. Focus on the fact that

601
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: you're worried for her rather than that you're disappointed in her.

602
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,439
Speaker 1: Maybe true, but I think counterproductive. Would she see a

603
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 1: counselor with you, a neutral moderator for this discussion may

604
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 1: be very helpful. If all that doesn't work, then you

605
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 1: may have to let her know that it's a hard

606
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,119
Speaker 1: limit for you. You can't force her to change, but

607
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,320
Speaker 1: you can decide what you will or won't tolerate, and

608
00:26:04,359 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 1: if necessary, remove yourself from the marriage. Source former fatty

609
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,199
Speaker 1: Why can't we just love ourselves at all times?

610
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 4: Is it so hard to ask?

611
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: Why do we got to put conditions on when we

612
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,680
Speaker 1: are allowing to love ourselves? Come one, man, just because

613
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 1: you're not doing everything right doesn't mean you can't move

614
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: through change with grace and love in your heart for yourself. Yeah,

615
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:25,719
Speaker 1: you're just gonna feel awful the whole time you do it,

616
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: exactly because you're ashamed.

617
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 4: Everything's just gonna be so much worse.

618
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, we have an update here, Okay. I'm like, I'm

619
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,040
Speaker 3: scared to go into it.

620
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,680
Speaker 1: This is what I'll say. You shouldn't be in this marriage,

621
00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 1: my guy.

622
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel the same.

623
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,160
Speaker 1: I think she deserves a partner who can like look

624
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 1: past just like her actual physical form. Yeah, because it's

625
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:47,800
Speaker 1: like sure, you're like, oh, I want you to be

626
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 1: healthier and I want you to be but you're really

627
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 1: like I don't want my wife to be ugly, which

628
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,119
Speaker 1: is like a you are just not ready to marry

629
00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 1: this person and you never were.

630
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I agree.

631
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 3: I think like, yes, you know, fiscality is important when

632
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:01,959
Speaker 3: you're going into a relationship, like you want to be

633
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,760
Speaker 3: physically attracted to someone, but like when you're thinking about

634
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 3: marrying someone, that's an important question to ask, like you know,

635
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 3: what's it gonna be like when you gain weight?

636
00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:13,120
Speaker 4: Because it's not even like a if thing.

637
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 3: It's like literally like most people gain weight just in

638
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: their lives just in general.

639
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 4: Like I'm saying most because I'm sure there's some people

640
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 4: that just don't.

641
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 3: But it's very very common for you to just get

642
00:27:25,600 --> 00:27:26,480
Speaker 3: older and gain weight.

643
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,520
Speaker 4: That's just a thing that happens, and you gotta deal

644
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 4: with it.

645
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,439
Speaker 3: So like, if you don't think that you can handle

646
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 3: that from seeing your partner gain weight, then like that's

647
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:34,959
Speaker 3: a you problem.

648
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:36,280
Speaker 4: It's not something that they have to fix.

649
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: Indeed, So there are a couple misunderstandings I want to

650
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,600
Speaker 1: correct before I update y'all. It seems as if a

651
00:27:42,600 --> 00:27:45,080
Speaker 1: lot of people wanted to peg me as some evil

652
00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:48,159
Speaker 1: guy that is trying to make my wife anarexic. Trust me,

653
00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: that isn't the case. My wife was a healthy weight

654
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 1: when we got married. She was on the slim side,

655
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,480
Speaker 1: but never sticks and bones. I've never seen her on

656
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: the scale, but I know that a weight wise, prior

657
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: to getting married, she was one to twenty on her license.

658
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 4: That's so eighty bitty.

659
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 1: This guy's gonna reveal like, yeah, my wife's one point fifty.

660
00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 1: It's gonna be like nothing, like, my wife is a

661
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,119
Speaker 1: normal weight? Should I divorce her? Right? You're crazy, dude.

662
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,960
Speaker 1: The thing with the weight gain is that it isn't

663
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,360
Speaker 1: distributed very evenly. I know, for a lot of women

664
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 1: when they gain weight, it goes to their thighs and

665
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,639
Speaker 1: actually looks pretty good. However, for my wife, a lot

666
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,479
Speaker 1: of that fat has gone to her face and stomach.

667
00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:26,120
Speaker 1: Her body looks like a sack of potatoes. Oh my god, bro,

668
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,719
Speaker 1: I'm about to hit you with a sack of potatoes.

669
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,159
Speaker 4: Dude, Uh, this is not cool.

670
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: I don't know what to tell this man. Get out

671
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:35,679
Speaker 1: of this marriage. You're not ready for marriage, You're not

672
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 1: ready for long term partnership.

673
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, figure it out.

674
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I don't know. Honestly, it's kind of this

675
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: is sickening.

676
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:43,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

677
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,000
Speaker 1: While I can say that I love her on an

678
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: emotional level, which I do think and care for her

679
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: a lot, physically, it's just not there. So here is

680
00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 1: what happened. Since I talked to my wife and I

681
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 1: told her that I don't like where our relationship is going.

682
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 1: I told her that I want her to get more fit,

683
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,920
Speaker 1: and that while I love her, that I think that

684
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 1: there is not a lot of lust. She told me

685
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,400
Speaker 1: that she's going to work on things at her own

686
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 1: pace and that it's her body, not mine. Go girl.

687
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 4: True.

688
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 1: Over the next couple of days, I didn't notice any changes.

689
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: I made us some light pasta, tomato based pasta with

690
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: grilled chicken, and then I saw my wife basically pouring

691
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:18,560
Speaker 1: parmesan cheese on it when she thought I wasn't looking.

692
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 4: Which sounds tasty and amazing, So I don't blame her.

693
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 1: My wife ate pasta? Should I divorce her?

694
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 3: Also, in the next few days, he was like, okay, great,

695
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 3: So she told me that she's gonna do it in

696
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 3: her own time.

697
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:33,360
Speaker 1: It's been two days and I've seen no changes. God,

698
00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 1: this guy's really infuriating. She ended up going to the gym,

699
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: and when she came back, she went to a smoothie

700
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 1: place nearby, and the smoothies are like six hundred calories.

701
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: And she probably was only at the gym for thirty

702
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,719
Speaker 1: minutes because she came back within an hour. By the way, buddy,

703
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: if you have the nerve to be saying all this stuff,

704
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: you better look like a triathlete. Honestly, you better have

705
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: like a sculpted marble physique. Yeah, to feel like you

706
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: have the right to say any of this stuff. How

707
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 1: about we focus on improvements you could be making. Yeah,

708
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:05,240
Speaker 1: exactly crazy. I told her we need to have a talk.

709
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: I told her that I can't find her attractive and

710
00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,200
Speaker 1: that this whole behavior is just not me. I told

711
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,560
Speaker 1: her that I don't want in ten years that she's

712
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: going to be around on a mobility scooter at Walmart,

713
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 1: and that I have seriously considered divorce. She ended up

714
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: crying and going to a friend's house. We had an

715
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 1: actual talk later that night. She said that a lot

716
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: of the reasons she went and got an arranged marriage

717
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,600
Speaker 1: was because she thought Brown guys didn't care much about weight,

718
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 1: since most Indian couples she knows both people are fat.

719
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,000
Speaker 1: I told her that I do care about weight and

720
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,760
Speaker 1: looks madder to me. Are both of these people just

721
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 1: like simpletons? What are we doing? She's like, I don't

722
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,280
Speaker 1: think you'd care because I've seen every Indian couples I've

723
00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:48,040
Speaker 1: ever seen there both overweight. Yeah, what happened to talking

724
00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: to people that you're marrying about things? Maybe you should

725
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: know these things before you're married to somebody.

726
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 3: It's a really good conversation to have before marriage in

727
00:30:57,760 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 3: any case.

728
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,320
Speaker 1: I don't want to be like coachally sensitive or anything,

729
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: but I just if you didn't get married to this

730
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: woman and you're just dating, Look, it's a non issue

731
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,120
Speaker 1: because now she goes, wow, I don't want to be

732
00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,440
Speaker 1: with someone with that perspective. Let's break up. But now

733
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 1: you're married, it's complicated.

734
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 4: But if you can get married once, you can get

735
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 4: married again.

736
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 1: Yes, that's right, it can always happen, that's right. I

737
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,640
Speaker 1: followed a lot of the advice people told me. Instead

738
00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 1: of saying that she looks gross to me, now, I

739
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: told her about how I'm more worried for the future.

740
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,920
Speaker 1: She tried to call me shallow, but I called her

741
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: out because every guy she finds attractive on TV are

742
00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: all on this limon, muscular side, and she's never said,

743
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: look at that four hundred pound guy, Look how hot

744
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 1: he is. She said that if she loved them, then

745
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,680
Speaker 1: she wouldn't care. I called the BS on that. We

746
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:43,440
Speaker 1: argued some more. This guy's like, well, I never see

747
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,920
Speaker 1: you saying four hundred pound people are hot. She's like,

748
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:48,560
Speaker 1: if I loved them, I wouldn't care. Yeah, and then

749
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: he just goes, no, you will yet, And it's just

750
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: like I just told you, no, I refuse to evalidate

751
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 1: your perspective. But yeah, no, that's just not true.

752
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:01,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's giving me more reason I need to know now,

753
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 3: what this guy looks like, because if he is like

754
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 3: at the same weight as her, or like, you know,

755
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,520
Speaker 3: at the same you know, I don't know fat percentage

756
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 3: or something.

757
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: Only way he's getting away with this is if he

758
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:14,440
Speaker 1: looks like Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Cristiano Ronaldo all

759
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 1: mix their genetics together.

760
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 3: Even then if he gained weight, you would still love

761
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 3: him because you love who he is.

762
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: She ended up leaving go figure and told me that

763
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 1: I have been putting too much pressure on her and

764
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: she's considering divorce over this, that I'm bound to leave

765
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: her anyways when I get older. She then starts getting

766
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: mad at me for my cornography preferences that I just

767
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 1: want a ten out of ten girl, when I barely

768
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 1: am a five and got a tiny wee wi. My

769
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 1: we wii is not tiny? What is that? Eyebrows raised

770
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: it that? And you know what else isn't tiny? What

771
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:51,760
Speaker 1: The archive of full episodes with stories just like this

772
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:57,080
Speaker 1: that you can listen to on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple podcasts wherever.

773
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 1: Just search Okay, story time, do it? I dare you

774
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,240
Speaker 1: try to listen to them all? Pick your favorite. We

775
00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 1: have a little bit more story left here, but I've

776
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: never wanted a divorce so bad.

777
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, these are two people that are clearly not on

778
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 3: the same page, not in the right marriage. So she

779
00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 3: was saying to him, like, you're wenning a ten, but

780
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 3: you're barely a five or something like.

781
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 1: That, right, barely a five with that TV WEENI I

782
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 1: didn't escalate the fight anymore. I took my stuff and

783
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: left for a hotel nearby. I called my close family

784
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 1: members and told them what happened. My parents were surprisingly sympathetic.

785
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 1: The next day, my wife contacting me, asking me if

786
00:33:36,960 --> 00:33:39,239
Speaker 1: I cooled off. I told her I thought about it,

787
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: and it's not going to work out. Wow. I told

788
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: her that she changed when she got married and that

789
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,400
Speaker 1: I am not okay with that. Hey, guess what, buddy,

790
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 1: she was gonna change again and again, and so will

791
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 1: you and so will everyone else.

792
00:33:52,080 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 3: You know, that's what comes with being with someone forever,

793
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 3: what comes with being alive.

794
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I'm not okay that you changed. You're not

795
00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 1: really gonna be okay with anything. Then everybody's changing all

796
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 1: the time, exactly. I told her that there are plenty

797
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 1: of guys that are into bigger women and best of

798
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 1: luck with that. She has now been trying to get

799
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,680
Speaker 1: me to resolve this and get back together. While I'm

800
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,919
Speaker 1: not one to hold a grudge, I don't see any

801
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,880
Speaker 1: value when I feel that she has a different expectation

802
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:21,359
Speaker 1: of marriage than I do. If she was to lose

803
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 1: weight now than what happens when we have kids. I

804
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 1: don't know exactly what to do at this point. Is

805
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 1: there any point in getting back together? And that's the

806
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 1: end of that story. Not for you, buddy. I think

807
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: you are looking for just like a digital wife that

808
00:34:37,320 --> 00:34:40,520
Speaker 1: is ageless and timeless and programmable that you can just

809
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 1: like make.

810
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think so, some sort of robot.

811
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,360
Speaker 1: It's on the way. We're right there. We got AI, dude.

812
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,680
Speaker 4: Just wait a few years. It'll figure itself out.

813
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 1: You can have your AI girlfriend be whatever way you

814
00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 1: want her to be and she'll feel real, but you'll

815
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: be alone. Well, but that is the end of that story. Hey,

816
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 1: it's Sam, your og reading it back to the stories.

817
00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes fads from our sponsor.

818
00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:07,240
Speaker 4: My wife's brother in law sent inappropriate messages. She acts

819
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 4: like it's not a big deal.

820
00:35:08,400 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was just I don't know when to meet

821
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 5: me tonight.

822
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 3: So my wife thirty six female and my brother in

823
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,440
Speaker 3: law thirty five male, have been running together for the

824
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:18,239
Speaker 3: past few months. My wife told me that besides their

825
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 3: weekend runs, they were also running during the week after work. Well,

826
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,839
Speaker 3: brother in law was not telling his wife about all

827
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 3: the runs, and my wife kept them secret from her sister,

828
00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 3: though I suspect that she didn't tell me about all

829
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 3: the runs either. By the way, that comes from a

830
00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 3: radio election and if you want to submit your own stories,

831
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 3: go to the ours lash Okay storytime. Anyways, my wife's

832
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:39,200
Speaker 3: sister somehow finds out about them running during the week

833
00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,760
Speaker 3: and gets upset. I tell my wife that I agree

834
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,239
Speaker 3: with her sister and that they should stop running, as

835
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 3: it is starting to get weird with the lying. I

836
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 3: also pointed out that it seemed a little weird to

837
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:51,080
Speaker 3: be running that much together, and she commented that it

838
00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,480
Speaker 3: was not like they were having an affair. As I

839
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:55,800
Speaker 3: think back now over these last few months, she was

840
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,960
Speaker 3: very complimentary of how open my brother in law was

841
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 3: on the runs, can speak about everything, and how I

842
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 3: didn't bring anything.

843
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 4: To the table.

844
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 3: She seemingly got mad at me all the time for

845
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 3: the smallest things, and there were frequent comments about how

846
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 3: the brother in law was so great. Well, last weekend,

847
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 3: her sister got upset and my wife so that she

848
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 3: would not run with him anymore. She explained that she

849
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 3: ran with him since she didn't feel safe running outside alone,

850
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:20,359
Speaker 3: and that he and her ran the same place. Her

851
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,759
Speaker 3: sister left it as do what you want, but it

852
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,319
Speaker 3: was clearly upset. My wife didn't run all week, but

853
00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 3: he was texting her constantly about running, and she finally

854
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,480
Speaker 3: agreed to go a Saturday morning. She asked if I

855
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:32,040
Speaker 3: was okay with it, and I told her that I

856
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:34,239
Speaker 3: really wasn't and it seemed strange that she would go

857
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 3: against her sisters and my wishes. She commented that they

858
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,879
Speaker 3: were just running partners and that everyone was acting weird

859
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 3: for no reason. Well, one hour later, she comes flying

860
00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 3: through the door and says that he told her that

861
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 3: he wanted to kiss her and texted it the same

862
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 3: My wife was all upset and said that she called

863
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,440
Speaker 3: him and said what are you thinking and that he

864
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 3: was crazy and hung up. I was shocked that my

865
00:36:55,200 --> 00:36:57,320
Speaker 3: brother in law would pull this and ask my wife

866
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:59,520
Speaker 3: what would have led to this, and that guys don't

867
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 3: just say things like that for no reason. We denied

868
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,799
Speaker 3: any conversations about our marriage issues or anything that would

869
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 3: have led him on. I told her I love you

870
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,480
Speaker 3: and believe you, and that you must tell your sister.

871
00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 3: She said absolutely not, as it would destroy her family

872
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 3: and that it wasn't a big deal. She got upset

873
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,399
Speaker 3: when I told her that I wanted her to tell

874
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 3: brother in law that I was aware, and said that

875
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 3: he already learned his lesson and that would blow it

876
00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 3: out of proportion. I am very upset told her the same,

877
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 3: and she basically said that we just needed to move

878
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 3: on and act like it nothing happened. I disagreed, and

879
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:33,279
Speaker 3: she now will not talk about it and told me

880
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 3: that I'm acting like a baby and ruining our relationship

881
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 3: with my attitude about it. I feel like she was

882
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 3: having an emotional affair and is now protecting him and

883
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:42,759
Speaker 3: herself because she developed some.

884
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:44,479
Speaker 4: Sort of feelings for he. I ended up.

885
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 3: Looking at our phone bill and seeing that she had

886
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 3: multiple calls over the last couple months with him that

887
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 3: were ten, fifteen and twenty minutes long during the work

888
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,160
Speaker 3: day when I'm obviously not around. Not proud of this,

889
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,280
Speaker 3: but I looked at her messages and took a picture

890
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 3: of the one saying that he wanted to kiss her.

891
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 3: There were also messages about him giving her a special

892
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 3: birthday present, and then one saying, I assume you deleted

893
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 3: the text before you got home and let's just forget

894
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 3: about this one. For some unknown reason, my wife is

895
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 3: willing to act like this is no big deal, when

896
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 3: in reality, it is a big deal to me. Maybe

897
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 3: I shouldn't be upset, but I can't shake the feeling

898
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,920
Speaker 3: that she is not as innocent as she is putting forward.

899
00:38:18,920 --> 00:38:21,360
Speaker 3: I don't believe anything physical happened, but why defend a

900
00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 3: dirtbag like this and allow him to go on like

901
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 3: nothing happened, especially when your sister is involved. I need

902
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 3: some advice on how to handle this. We do have

903
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,959
Speaker 3: a small update, but what do we think?

904
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,400
Speaker 4: What do we think? Ohe we should do?

905
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 5: Having a very serious conversation with brother in law.

906
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, hut out the middleman. Absolutely.

907
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 3: I took some of the below advice, and over dinner,

908
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:44,759
Speaker 3: my wife commented that she was glad that I wasn't

909
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:47,000
Speaker 3: going to say anything to anyone and just act normal

910
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:49,640
Speaker 3: around the family. I responded that was in fact not

911
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 3: the case, and I am still very uncomfortable and upset

912
00:38:52,440 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 3: about what happened, and I'm not sure how I'll react.

913
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,920
Speaker 3: She lost her crap and started calling me all sorts

914
00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 3: of names, and so then my actions are going to

915
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 3: destroy our relationship and I should just call her ex

916
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:07,520
Speaker 3: wife as she won't tolerate me disregarding her wishes bating

917
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 3: break up with her. She's literally like just putting everything

918
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 3: on you. It's not my actions that are doing this,

919
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:17,200
Speaker 3: it's yours. I explained that I feel it's wrong to

920
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,719
Speaker 3: just forget it ever happened, and that I didn't appreciate

921
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 3: her defending and excusing brother in law's actions. She continued

922
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 3: yelling that she now can't trust me and won't tell

923
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:27,520
Speaker 3: me things in the future. Told me that I'm going

924
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:30,439
Speaker 3: to destroy the whole family, her parents, her sister, our

925
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,520
Speaker 3: lives with my not agreeing to let it go, yelling

926
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 3: about how dare I blame her? I made it clear

927
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:38,680
Speaker 3: I'm not blaming her and that my focus is brother

928
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:41,160
Speaker 3: in law's actions, but she doesn't want to hear this.

929
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:44,280
Speaker 3: I'm currently getting the silent treatment. We have small update

930
00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:47,400
Speaker 3: number two after she stopped yelling last night and transitioned

931
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,080
Speaker 3: to the silent treatment. She went straight to bed upstairs.

932
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,720
Speaker 3: Woke up this morning in zero conversation with complete silent treatment.

933
00:39:53,800 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 3: The only words uttered were to call me an a

934
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 3: hole for putting a wet towel on top of my

935
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,480
Speaker 3: daughter's homework. She then out the door for work, and

936
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 3: we do have another big update. As an update, I

937
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,279
Speaker 3: took the last few days to think about it, and

938
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 3: I just could not get over my brother in law

939
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,880
Speaker 3: saying this, especially in the light of the phone calls

940
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 3: and incessant texting between them. My wife was insistent the

941
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,080
Speaker 3: other day that if I did not just forget it,

942
00:40:16,160 --> 00:40:19,240
Speaker 3: that her entire family will be destroyed and her.

943
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 4: Sister will be crushed.

944
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:20,880
Speaker 1: Oh boohoo.

945
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,279
Speaker 3: I told her that I would not say anything to

946
00:40:23,360 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 3: her sister, as that was not my place. She then

947
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,640
Speaker 3: said that I would also not mention anything to my

948
00:40:28,680 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 3: brother in law and just go about business as usual

949
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:31,759
Speaker 3: and drop it.

950
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:32,719
Speaker 4: I told her I.

951
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,280
Speaker 3: Didn't agree and didn't know what to do. Well, today

952
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 3: I am out and I see him. He acts all

953
00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,879
Speaker 3: buddy buddy, and I just looked at him and told

954
00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:42,320
Speaker 3: him that he crossed the line and to stop contacting

955
00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 3: my wife and don't go to my house when I'm

956
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 3: not there. Five minutes later, I have all these missed

957
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:49,480
Speaker 3: calls and nasty text messages for my wife saying that

958
00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 3: I destroyed the family and that she can't trust me

959
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,319
Speaker 3: and that I am a monster for.

960
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 5: Saying anything to him. Oh my gosh, he's trying to

961
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,319
Speaker 5: fight for your relationship.

962
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:00,920
Speaker 3: I called her and she was screaming like a bansheet,

963
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 3: claiming that she couldn't breathe and was having an anxiety

964
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:05,239
Speaker 3: attack all because of me.

965
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:08,480
Speaker 4: She repeatedly stated that she no longer had any trust

966
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,400
Speaker 4: in me and doesn't know if there is a future

967
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:12,200
Speaker 4: for us. She then went into.

968
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,680
Speaker 3: How my brother in law was crying and all scared

969
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 3: that I was going to tell everyone and he was

970
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 3: now devastated for his kids. I told my wife that

971
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:21,840
Speaker 3: he shouldn't worry about that since I have no plans

972
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 3: to tell his wife. I then stated it was wrong

973
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,799
Speaker 3: for her to continue defending and being concerned about his

974
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 3: emotions when I have been crushed all week about this issue.

975
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:31,480
Speaker 4: I walked in the door to.

976
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:34,440
Speaker 3: Her screaming that she trusted me to not say anything

977
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 3: and that I stabbed her in the back. I then

978
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 3: got the don't talk to me as I need to

979
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 3: think about us and damage control going forward. I made

980
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 3: it clear that because of her hysteria, I texted my

981
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,719
Speaker 3: brother in law and stated that the last words I

982
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:49,279
Speaker 3: will speak of this occurred today. It's on you to

983
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:51,880
Speaker 3: tell the others, not me. I don't care what you do.

984
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 3: I told my wife that if she had no such intentions,

985
00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 3: then there is nothing that she did wrong and is

986
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:59,000
Speaker 3: just being used as a pawn in his game. It's

987
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 3: not her fault that he did to pull such a move.

988
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: So right now I'm sitting downstairs, my wife stormed up

989
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 3: to bed and isn't talking to me. I feel I

990
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 3: had to say something as I was not going to

991
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 3: play the secret game on this and have to act

992
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 3: like nothing happened. I mean, she was commenting that he

993
00:42:13,680 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: has a family and kids, to which I replied that

994
00:42:16,080 --> 00:42:18,640
Speaker 3: he didn't give a dang about my family and kids

995
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 3: when he said that he wanted to kiss her, and

996
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 3: I'm sure that he was hopeful the.

997
00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:24,600
Speaker 4: Feeling was mutual.

998
00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:27,879
Speaker 3: So please explain why my wife doesn't understand my anger

999
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,280
Speaker 3: over the situation and continues to blame me. I'm upset

1000
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 3: that my wife is furious at me, but in the end,

1001
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:35,840
Speaker 3: I really don't think my actions were out of the line,

1002
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:37,200
Speaker 3: and I stand by them.

1003
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 4: Am I crazy?

1004
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:40,760
Speaker 3: Maybe I just taked my own marriage, But who wants

1005
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 3: to stay with someone when they would defend someone like

1006
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 3: the brother in law?

1007
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,240
Speaker 4: And we do have another update.

1008
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:49,440
Speaker 5: What do we think your wife's mad at you because

1009
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 5: she has emotions for this guy?

1010
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 3: She just really is, isn't It's so obvious what's happenings.

1011
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,480
Speaker 4: She's just trying to stay thin in healthy.

1012
00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 3: Man.

1013
00:42:58,880 --> 00:42:59,799
Speaker 4: Thank you for all the graanded.

1014
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 3: I haven't taken a scorched earth policy as I don't

1015
00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,799
Speaker 3: want to blow this up from my kids. My one

1016
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,800
Speaker 3: child is already asking why mom is acting out Anyways,

1017
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 3: This morning I told my wife that this is unacceptable

1018
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,080
Speaker 3: and I'm not the bad guy and won't cover for

1019
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 3: the lies.

1020
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:16,279
Speaker 4: I asked her directly if she had feelings for brother

1021
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:16,839
Speaker 4: in law, and.

1022
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,279
Speaker 3: She exploded that she hates me, hates him, and I

1023
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,720
Speaker 3: destroyed the family and once a divorce.

1024
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 4: She said that she isn't living her a life with

1025
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 4: my threats. I made zero threats.

1026
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,279
Speaker 3: I said I wanted to sit down and have an

1027
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 3: open and honest discussion about this.

1028
00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 4: Tonight, she flew out the door to work.

1029
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 3: I left her a detailed voicemail stating that we needed

1030
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,759
Speaker 3: to sit down and talk about our options of one

1031
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 3: seeing if this is salvageable, and two if not, to

1032
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:45,040
Speaker 3: discuss coming to an amicable agreement to end our marriage

1033
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:46,960
Speaker 3: so the least possible damage is.

1034
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:47,760
Speaker 4: Done to the kids.

1035
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:51,880
Speaker 3: No response from her, and we do have a final update.

1036
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 4: Oh wow.

1037
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 3: So I spoke with my wife last night and explained

1038
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 3: the two options and expressed.

1039
00:43:56,520 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 4: That a serious discussion was needed on what took place.

1040
00:43:59,520 --> 00:44:01,040
Speaker 4: She met medately lost it.

1041
00:44:01,080 --> 00:44:03,280
Speaker 3: When I asked about whether or not she had spoken

1042
00:44:03,360 --> 00:44:05,959
Speaker 3: negatively about our marriage and myself to brother in law,

1043
00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 3: she started screaming that I have.

1044
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 4: No right to interrogate her.

1045
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,160
Speaker 3: She then deflected it back to me destroying the family

1046
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:15,240
Speaker 3: by telling brother in law I knew despite her saying

1047
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 3: to just drop it, I explained that I was emotionally

1048
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,840
Speaker 3: devastated by this and that the fact that she was

1049
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,280
Speaker 3: lying to her sister and I was the real issue

1050
00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 3: in my book. I asked if she had spoken to

1051
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 3: brother in law since the other day. She initially denied it,

1052
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 3: and when I pointed out that earlier in the convo

1053
00:44:30,760 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 3: she mentioned a call she got belligerent and started with

1054
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 3: ME being a monster.

1055
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 4: And destroying her life.

1056
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,960
Speaker 3: She is screaming, and I just maintained my composure and

1057
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,600
Speaker 3: said I needed to know everything that was said and

1058
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 3: done between them in order to try to salvage our relationship.

1059
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:50,400
Speaker 3: She was adamant that nothing physical ever happened in her mania.

1060
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:52,719
Speaker 3: She started saying that she needed a few days to

1061
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:55,600
Speaker 3: think about what she wanted to do since I violated

1062
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 3: her trust. I told her that she does not get

1063
00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 3: to direct the narrative, as I'm not the bad guy here,

1064
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,399
Speaker 3: and if anyone is, it is the brother in law

1065
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 3: for putting her in this situation. I asked her if

1066
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 3: she loved me, and her response was that two days ago,

1067
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 3: when she thought that I wasn't saying anything, that she

1068
00:45:11,760 --> 00:45:15,439
Speaker 3: loved me, but now after my actions, she no longer does.

1069
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 3: I looked right at her and said that this means

1070
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 3: it is the end of our marriage, as I cannot

1071
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:24,000
Speaker 3: reconcile a marriage where one partner no longer loves the other.

1072
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 4: She told me to go f myself and then shut down.

1073
00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:30,319
Speaker 4: And we'll never tell you to go f yourself, but we.

1074
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,760
Speaker 3: Will tell you to go to iHeartRadio app podcasts Spotify

1075
00:45:33,840 --> 00:45:37,040
Speaker 3: or your favorite podcast app and search Okay Storytime. You'll

1076
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:39,759
Speaker 3: find full episodes with more stories just like this one.

1077
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:42,239
Speaker 3: I commented that her actions make it appear that there

1078
00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:44,840
Speaker 3: is much more going on than I'm being told, and

1079
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,759
Speaker 3: that I will get to the bottom of it. After

1080
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 3: comparing my notes with sister in law, I slept in

1081
00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 3: the guest bedroom, woke up this morning, got a good

1082
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,800
Speaker 3: workout in, and she didn't make any comments before leaving

1083
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 3: for work. However, she had made my lunch, and I

1084
00:45:57,680 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 3: think it was her way of trying to break the ice.

1085
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 3: I'm meeting my sister in law for coffee this morning

1086
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,160
Speaker 3: to discuss and then meeting my attorney to get the

1087
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 3: ball rolling. I'm not a doormat, nor am I the

1088
00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 3: person and the wrong here. I know I will never

1089
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,360
Speaker 3: be able to trust her again, and her actions confirm this,

1090
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 3: So thank you all for the advice.

1091
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 1: Ooh wo wow, man.

1092
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 5: There we are. Yeah, I get it straight. With the

1093
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 5: system Law's super smarting. I didn't even think about that.

1094
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1095
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 3: I mean, they're like they're on a team here. Now

1096
00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:26,760
Speaker 3: they're getting attacked by these other.

1097
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 5: People, So it looks like you're single now.

1098
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I alerted next story.

1099
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 5: My best friend kissed my husband almost run her marriage.

1100
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:38,799
Speaker 4: Well did the husband like it?

1101
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 5: That's the real question. I, twenty eight female, have been

1102
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 5: with my husband twenty seven male for six years, married

1103
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 5: four when we have two kids? Are you female and

1104
00:46:46,840 --> 00:46:49,799
Speaker 5: almost one female? Everything in a relationship was perfect for us.

1105
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:52,960
Speaker 5: He's been the best husband and father to our kids

1106
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 5: that I could have asked for. I'm absolutely in love

1107
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 5: with him, and his actions and words have always shown

1108
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 5: me that he feels the same way. There's no other

1109
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 5: better feeling than going to sleep in his arms every night.

1110
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from Throwaway Jello seventy three

1111
00:47:07,239 --> 00:47:09,160
Speaker 5: and if you submit your old stories, go to our

1112
00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 5: slash okay story tom subreddit. So last week, my husband

1113
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:14,520
Speaker 5: and I had some friends over and we were having

1114
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 5: a barbecue. We were all outside in the backyard, surrounding

1115
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:19,520
Speaker 5: my husband, who was on the grill. As the food

1116
00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 5: got closer to be ready to eat, we were all

1117
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 5: sitting at our backyard table. Once the food was all

1118
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:26,839
Speaker 5: ready and at the table, my husband went inside to

1119
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 5: use the washroom get another case of beer. I didn't

1120
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:33,160
Speaker 5: realize that my best friend, twenty eight female had followed

1121
00:47:33,239 --> 00:47:35,399
Speaker 5: him when he wasn't coming back out. My best friend

1122
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 5: hid behind the wall separating our kitchen and living room

1123
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:42,520
Speaker 5: and surprised him by pulling him and forcing a kiss.

1124
00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 5: My husband immediately pushed her back and yelled what the

1125
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 5: aff He immediately started crying and ran out of the

1126
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 5: house and left. My husband came back to the backyard

1127
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 5: and asked to speak to me privately and immediately told

1128
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 5: me what just happened. I was shocked and told him

1129
00:47:57,600 --> 00:47:59,719
Speaker 5: that it would be okay and that we could talk

1130
00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:02,399
Speaker 5: of it after everyone else left. I managed to put

1131
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,080
Speaker 5: on appearances for the next couple of hours. I was

1132
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:08,840
Speaker 5: just mentally distraught. After everyone left, my husband sat me

1133
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 5: down and told me what happened, showed me the footage

1134
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,319
Speaker 5: from our living room camera. He was exactly as my

1135
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:16,840
Speaker 5: husband had described it. My best friend of ten years,

1136
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:20,320
Speaker 5: the person and I had treated my literal sister, kissed

1137
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 5: my husband after the third date with my husband. He

1138
00:48:23,680 --> 00:48:25,759
Speaker 5: was the one that I told I was going to

1139
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:27,920
Speaker 5: marry him. He knows how much I love him and

1140
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:30,960
Speaker 5: how strong our relationship is, and she still chose to

1141
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 5: come in the middle for f sake. Our three year

1142
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 5: old calls her auntie. My best friend tried showing up

1143
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,839
Speaker 5: the next day just to talk, and my husband had

1144
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 5: to hold me back from beating the crap out of her.

1145
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,600
Speaker 5: He putted her out and told her not to come back,

1146
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 5: not to GISs him anymore. It's almost been a week

1147
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:48,439
Speaker 5: now and I'm nowhere close to moving on. I don't

1148
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,400
Speaker 5: blame my husband one bit. He's completely innocent in this,

1149
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:54,720
Speaker 5: and if anything, he's the victim. I've been lying down

1150
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,399
Speaker 5: my husband's chest and crying every day and night. I'm

1151
00:48:58,440 --> 00:49:01,440
Speaker 5: so angry and frustrated, don't know what to do. My

1152
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 5: husband's been amazing, and like always, he just gets it

1153
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 5: and understands how I'm feeling. He brought me flowers almost

1154
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 5: every day and cooked my favorite meals multiple times in

1155
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,520
Speaker 5: the last few days. I love him and appreciate him

1156
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,759
Speaker 5: all the more for it. I just don't know how

1157
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:18,320
Speaker 5: I'm going to move on and trust any of my friends.

1158
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,879
Speaker 5: After this got some comments. One I hate the guy

1159
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 5: who thinks there must be more to the story, but

1160
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 5: something just bringing one hundred percent true to me. Other

1161
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,760
Speaker 5: commenters have raised the thought that they had an affair

1162
00:49:28,920 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 5: and she was not aware of the cameras he might

1163
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:33,600
Speaker 5: be trying to get ahead of it by doing damage control.

1164
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 5: Maybe he led her on, or even if it was

1165
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,880
Speaker 5: out of naivete, trying to be kind but sending mixed signals.

1166
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 5: Peting would explain why he's buying you flowers and cooking

1167
00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 5: for you, love bombing you to secure forgiveness. I will

1168
00:49:45,160 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 5: dwell on this, but it is possible. Let's look at

1169
00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:49,799
Speaker 5: it from the other perspective that I rarely see brought

1170
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:51,880
Speaker 5: up in posts like this. If everything is one hundred

1171
00:49:51,880 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 5: percent as subscribed here, your husband was spicily related and

1172
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,800
Speaker 5: mistreated and has no ability to deal with this trauma

1173
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 5: because he's taking care of you. You were so and

1174
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:02,800
Speaker 5: you have every right to be upset. This will sound harsh,

1175
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 5: but for the good of your relationship with your husband,

1176
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 5: whit being selfish and allow your man to deal with

1177
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 5: what happened to him. He was harmed in his home.

1178
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 5: Be there for him. Your post sounds like you are

1179
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 5: so focused on how you feel and that you have

1180
00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 5: not considered how he feels. He is a good man

1181
00:50:17,040 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 5: to just focus on you. He will likely never tell

1182
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,400
Speaker 5: you how he feels after this because he will default

1183
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 5: to taking care of the woman he loves. This is

1184
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 5: not healthy, and this will cause resentment. He will feel

1185
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 5: like he can never feel emotional because you were teaching

1186
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 5: him that your feelings matter more than his. Be there

1187
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,879
Speaker 5: for him, even if he says it's not a big deal.

1188
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:37,520
Speaker 5: Don't force him to talk about it because he probably won't.

1189
00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:39,960
Speaker 5: Make sure he knows he is still your rock star.

1190
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,719
Speaker 5: Love and treasure him. Let him know that you were

1191
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:44,719
Speaker 5: there for him. It will mean the world to him,

1192
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:47,280
Speaker 5: even if he never shows it. We got an update.

1193
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 4: Oh boy, that was a great comment.

1194
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:53,080
Speaker 5: It really was honestly not see from that point of view.

1195
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:56,240
Speaker 3: And we got like two point of views too, like one,

1196
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,640
Speaker 3: you know you have to focus on his feelings.

1197
00:50:58,760 --> 00:51:00,719
Speaker 4: Two he could have just been I'm lying for the.

1198
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 5: Cameras, could have been lying for the camera. And I

1199
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:04,440
Speaker 5: think it just shows like how much we dismiss now,

1200
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:06,920
Speaker 5: like like assaulted. Yeah, you know was kissed as a

1201
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:07,840
Speaker 5: man who figured.

1202
00:51:07,600 --> 00:51:11,799
Speaker 3: Out yeah, but no, that's absolutely not okay and non consensual.

1203
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 5: After reading a lot of comments, I realized that it

1204
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 5: was possible though. My husband was having an affair with

1205
00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:19,400
Speaker 5: my best friend and he knew about the camera and

1206
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,720
Speaker 5: acted accordingly to make sure I didn't expect an affair

1207
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,200
Speaker 5: for riding out out of the house crying, my husband

1208
00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 5: showing me the footage before I asked, and his love

1209
00:51:27,239 --> 00:51:29,279
Speaker 5: bombing would all make sense if he was cheating with

1210
00:51:29,280 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 5: my best friend. I can't be with the cheater, and

1211
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 5: I had to make sure my husband was loyal to me.

1212
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,320
Speaker 5: On a side note, I made sure that my husband

1213
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:38,360
Speaker 5: was okay and well after being forcibly kissed, and he

1214
00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 5: just said he was fine and he didn't feel like

1215
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 5: a harmful act just to kiss. He said that he

1216
00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,439
Speaker 5: was just worried about me because he knew how much

1217
00:51:45,719 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 5: friendship meant to me. Over the weekend, I looked through

1218
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 5: my husband's phone and laptop while he was doing yard work.

1219
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 5: Both of us had full access to each other's phones,

1220
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,360
Speaker 5: and I didn't find out anything out of the ordinary.

1221
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,600
Speaker 5: On my husband's phone, I checked his messages, WhatsApp, social

1222
00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:01,680
Speaker 5: media and to lead to messages. There was no suspicious

1223
00:52:01,760 --> 00:52:04,960
Speaker 5: on his phone or laptop. This morning, after my husband

1224
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 5: left to go to work, I arranged for our next

1225
00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,920
Speaker 5: door neighbors, a friendly elderly couple who watched the girls

1226
00:52:09,920 --> 00:52:11,440
Speaker 5: for a couple of hours, and I went to my

1227
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:13,840
Speaker 5: best friend's place without telling her I was coming he

1228
00:52:13,920 --> 00:52:16,080
Speaker 5: works afternoon shifts, so I knew she would be there

1229
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 5: in the morning. She let me in. She seems scared.

1230
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,440
Speaker 5: I demanded tonother truth. She said that she had always

1231
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 5: been really attracted my husband. He had tried to make

1232
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,960
Speaker 5: advances before, but my husband always shut her down. She

1233
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:28,800
Speaker 5: admitted to being jealous of me and my perfect life

1234
00:52:28,800 --> 00:52:31,200
Speaker 5: with my husband. I should have seen the signs earlier.

1235
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:33,799
Speaker 5: When our firstborn was learning to speak, my best friend

1236
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:35,920
Speaker 5: would always try to get her to call her mama.

1237
00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:37,720
Speaker 5: When she held her to ughter for the first time,

1238
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,160
Speaker 5: she accidentally sat in my husband's lap.

1239
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:40,359
Speaker 3: Ha.

1240
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 5: He has been trying to replace me for years and

1241
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,839
Speaker 5: I never noticed, and my husband kept rejecting her advances

1242
00:52:45,920 --> 00:52:49,200
Speaker 5: because he only me. He said that she had wasted

1243
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:52,320
Speaker 5: more than she should have at the barbecue and decided

1244
00:52:52,360 --> 00:52:54,400
Speaker 5: to just try her luck. When she saw my husband

1245
00:52:54,520 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 5: going inside alone, I forced her to show her phone

1246
00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 5: as well, and again there was nothing implying an affair.

1247
00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 5: All all the messages appeared to line up with my

1248
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:05,080
Speaker 5: husband's phone, so I knew there was nothing deleted or manipulated.

1249
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 5: If you apologize profusely and asked me not to in

1250
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,520
Speaker 5: our friendship over this, I told her that she's nothing

1251
00:53:10,560 --> 00:53:12,640
Speaker 5: to me and that she could have been happy for me.

1252
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:14,880
Speaker 5: I treated her like a sister all these years, just

1253
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,239
Speaker 5: for her to try and steal my life. Now I

1254
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 5: know for sure that my husband never cheated. The guilt

1255
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:21,399
Speaker 5: for doubting him is eating me up. If I tell

1256
00:53:21,480 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 5: him that I snooped through his phone and laptop and

1257
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 5: met up with my ex best friend to verify that

1258
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 5: he was cheating, it's going to impact her marriage. He

1259
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 5: will be very disappointed in me for not trusting him,

1260
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 5: and if anything, he will lose his trust in me.

1261
00:53:33,719 --> 00:53:35,920
Speaker 5: If I don't tell him, the guilt is going to

1262
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 5: continue to eat me up. I never I never lied

1263
00:53:38,680 --> 00:53:40,879
Speaker 5: or kept secrets from him before, and I don't want

1264
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:43,880
Speaker 5: to start now. This is an impossible choice. He's only

1265
00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,440
Speaker 5: ever shown me how much he loves me and cherishes me.

1266
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 5: He doesn't deserve he betrayed like this. I will update

1267
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,279
Speaker 5: more when I tell him the truth and we got

1268
00:53:51,280 --> 00:53:54,760
Speaker 5: the truth. Guys, all right, wow, wow wow?

1269
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 4: What would you do if if you had a friend

1270
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:57,919
Speaker 4: that was trying to steal your life?

1271
00:53:57,960 --> 00:54:01,120
Speaker 5: Definitely have a conversation, give him a comma, say leave

1272
00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 5: my life alone and my wife and my children. They

1273
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:06,560
Speaker 5: are mine. Go get your own. You can probably find

1274
00:54:06,560 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 5: one online. But he definitely would have been a friend

1275
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:10,880
Speaker 5: anymore because I can't trust him alone with my wife

1276
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:11,840
Speaker 5: or my kids.

1277
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:14,880
Speaker 3: And it's also just such a weird thing to do,

1278
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:16,840
Speaker 3: Like stop was reversed.

1279
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:18,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, man, was doing this a woman?

1280
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 4: Yeah no, it's it's the same kind of thing.

1281
00:54:21,239 --> 00:54:25,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like just that's your harassing OPI's husband, which is

1282
00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:28,319
Speaker 3: absolutely not okay. So that's one reason to not keep

1283
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 3: this woman around trying to like you could confuse the children.

1284
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:33,880
Speaker 3: I don't know, like what if she tries to like

1285
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 3: kidnap the children or something that happens. Just like not

1286
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 3: a not a comfortable situation to be in.

1287
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 4: They take yourself out of it.

1288
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 5: We get an update. I told my husband everything that

1289
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 5: I looked through his phone and laptop and that I

1290
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 5: confronted my ex best friend, showed him both read a

1291
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:52,160
Speaker 5: posts and told him even the few comments that speculated

1292
00:54:52,360 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 5: he was having an affair and made me paranoid, and

1293
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 5: I acted on it. By the way you can act.

1294
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:59,879
Speaker 5: I'm going to your favorite freaking podcast platform right after

1295
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:02,960
Speaker 5: the story searching up Okay, story time Boom. You will

1296
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:06,439
Speaker 5: see more crazy stories just like this, Angelina, we got

1297
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:08,840
Speaker 5: more left? Oh yeah, anything.

1298
00:55:08,680 --> 00:55:12,720
Speaker 3: Else, Let's just roll right into it. I'm I'm based

1299
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,840
Speaker 3: on the title. I'm really scared to see how he

1300
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 3: reacts to this.

1301
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 5: I apologize to him for doubting him and thanked him

1302
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 5: for always being an amazing husband and always turning on

1303
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,680
Speaker 5: her advances and for spoiling me and especially when I

1304
00:55:24,719 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 5: was down. Also this whole time, and it's just like her, her, her.

1305
00:55:28,360 --> 00:55:30,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, she did have a moment where she asked how

1306
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:32,640
Speaker 3: he felt, and he was like, it's just a kiss.

1307
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 4: It's fine. I don't feel like harmed by it. So

1308
00:55:35,160 --> 00:55:35,759
Speaker 4: that is good.

1309
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 5: Oh momento, Yeah, not a lot. He said that he

1310
00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 5: understands and that he should have told me earlier about

1311
00:55:42,080 --> 00:55:44,919
Speaker 5: her trying her luck. I'm also starting therapy next week

1312
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 5: to try and figure out my paranora and trust issues,

1313
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:50,439
Speaker 5: process the ending of a friendship, and in general trying

1314
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 5: to get into a better mental space so I can

1315
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,879
Speaker 5: be better as an individual wife and mother. Atted two

1316
00:55:55,960 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 5: that post pretending to be my husband is not my

1317
00:55:58,360 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 5: husband and we got all the facts.

1318
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 4: Ye okay, So I was scared that the husband was

1319
00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:05,400
Speaker 4: going to be mad at her. For like snooping or something.

1320
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:06,319
Speaker 5: Yeah, me too.

1321
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 4: Sounds like we're okay.

1322
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 5: Those we're all good man, all good in the hood.

1323
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 5: Sounds like he understams, Yep, solid guy. I don't want

1324
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:19,040
Speaker 5: this guy to be my husband. Yeah, this happened to me.

1325
00:56:19,080 --> 00:56:22,560
Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh, bye, bear, help me, what do

1326
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:22,840
Speaker 1: I do?

1327
00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 5: All right? Everyone was twenty eight and twenty seven, twenty

1328
00:56:26,840 --> 00:56:30,440
Speaker 5: eight male, twenty eight female, twenty seven female and twenty

1329
00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:30,960
Speaker 5: seven male.

1330
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:33,320
Speaker 4: That is the end of that story, but we've gotten

1331
00:56:33,320 --> 00:56:34,040
Speaker 4: another one.

1332
00:56:35,200 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 2: Hey, it's John here og, host of the show. We're

1333
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 2: gonna get back to these juicy stories. But here's a

1334
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 2: quick three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1335
00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 5: My terminally ill ex wife cheated on me, and now

1336
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:45,600
Speaker 5: she wants me to play husband.

1337
00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 4: This is uncomfortable.

1338
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:50,680
Speaker 5: Backstory. I met my ex when we were both ten.

1339
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 5: He was is my twin sister's best friend. We've always

1340
00:56:54,680 --> 00:56:56,919
Speaker 5: been kind of a trio growing up. We started dating

1341
00:56:56,920 --> 00:57:00,279
Speaker 5: at fourteen and got married twenty three. Thanks got ugly though,

1342
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,880
Speaker 5: cause five years after getting married, she told me she

1343
00:57:02,960 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 5: had a month long affair with her coworker. Apparently the

1344
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:08,360
Speaker 5: guilt was just too much for her, so she confessed

1345
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:10,920
Speaker 5: by the way. This comes from Throwaway Next t y

1346
00:57:11,120 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 5: z and if you want to spite your own stories,

1347
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 5: go to our slash Okay storytime subr So we tried

1348
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:17,760
Speaker 5: to work through it, but after a few months of trying,

1349
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:19,880
Speaker 5: I knew that to despite the fact that I loved her,

1350
00:57:20,120 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 5: I couldn't trust her anymore. She told me she still

1351
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 5: loved me and that she'd wait for me prove that

1352
00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 5: I was the only one I wanted to believe her.

1353
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 5: You know, some things just can't be fixed. We never

1354
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 5: had kids. Three years after the divorce, I met my

1355
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:34,919
Speaker 5: now wife, thirty eight female, and we got married two

1356
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 5: years after dating. She's everything I could have ever dreamed

1357
00:57:38,160 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 5: of in a wife and more my ex as my

1358
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:44,760
Speaker 5: sister told me they're still besties. Never really recovered you

1359
00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 5: quit her job it is now working in a church.

1360
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 5: Throughout my relationship with my wife, kept trying to get

1361
00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:52,560
Speaker 5: back together, and on the day at my wedding, she

1362
00:57:52,640 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 5: told me she still loved me and would love no

1363
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:57,120
Speaker 5: one else. She said that this was the last time

1364
00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 5: she would ever bother me, that she'll wait for me,

1365
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 5: however long it took. Apparently she's honest in that regard,

1366
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:04,760
Speaker 5: at least because my sister says she's never been with

1367
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:08,000
Speaker 5: anyone since. So here's what happened recently. My wife and

1368
00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 5: I married for seven years now have two kids, seven

1369
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 5: female free male. My sister came over with her own

1370
00:58:14,080 --> 00:58:16,240
Speaker 5: kids so the cousins could play. While my wife was

1371
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:18,520
Speaker 5: out to pick up lunch. My sister sat me down

1372
00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 5: and told me the situation about my AX. Apparently she

1373
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 5: has less than six months to live. She refused treatment

1374
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 5: and wants to live the last few months to the fullest.

1375
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,040
Speaker 5: I guess that's why her and my sister really went

1376
00:58:31,080 --> 00:58:34,080
Speaker 5: out of their way to travel despite the pandemic. One

1377
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 5: thing on her bucket list, though, was that she wanted

1378
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 5: to feel like my wife again. No spicy sleep, no kissing.

1379
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:41,320
Speaker 5: She just wanted me to be around the house. She

1380
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 5: still lives in the house that we lived in, and

1381
00:58:43,200 --> 00:58:45,760
Speaker 5: again maybe I hold her from time to time. I

1382
00:58:45,840 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 5: told her I wouldn't do that because that was pretty

1383
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 5: much emotionally treating. My sister kept arguing and begging me

1384
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,080
Speaker 5: to at least see her and hear her out. We

1385
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:56,360
Speaker 5: kept arguing, no screaming. His were in the next room

1386
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 5: with their older daughter that my wife came back, my

1387
00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 5: sister told her the whole story, and while she looked upset,

1388
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:03,840
Speaker 5: that she understood where my ex was coming from. Where

1389
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,000
Speaker 5: my sister left, my wife and I talked about it.

1390
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 5: My wife knows everything that happened in the past with

1391
00:59:08,280 --> 00:59:11,080
Speaker 5: my ex. She says that while she isn't thrilled about

1392
00:59:11,080 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 5: the idea, she won't get upset if I decided to

1393
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:16,080
Speaker 5: see her on a regular basis. My wife is literally

1394
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 5: the best thing that ever happened to me, and I

1395
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:20,440
Speaker 5: love her more than anyone. She makes me happier than

1396
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 5: I've ever been in my life, even in the good

1397
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 5: times with my ex. She knows I won't cheat. I

1398
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:28,000
Speaker 5: also have zero romantic interest with my ex, so there's

1399
00:59:28,040 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 5: nothing lingering there. I don't hate her or anything. It's

1400
00:59:30,640 --> 00:59:32,760
Speaker 5: just that the love I had for her long last

1401
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:35,320
Speaker 5: since passed away. After thinking about it for a while,

1402
00:59:35,360 --> 00:59:37,640
Speaker 5: I'm honestly fifty to fifty about it. I know I

1403
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:39,960
Speaker 5: don't owe her anything, but I feel like I might

1404
00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:42,439
Speaker 5: regret not seeing her at least one more time, since

1405
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:44,560
Speaker 5: the last time I saw her was on my wedding day,

1406
00:59:44,680 --> 00:59:47,440
Speaker 5: and that wasn't a good encounter for either of us.

1407
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 5: Unless you count the times I occasionally see her in

1408
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:52,440
Speaker 5: the store or something. I honestly feel like despite what

1409
00:59:52,520 --> 00:59:55,200
Speaker 5: she did, she just still deserves to go with some peace.

1410
00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,440
Speaker 5: On the other hand, I'm not entirely sure if this

1411
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:00,360
Speaker 5: might potentially affect her marriage. My wife says she's okay

1412
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:02,520
Speaker 5: with it, and I believe her, but I just can't

1413
01:00:02,520 --> 01:00:05,720
Speaker 5: be sure that she feels the same way after it happens.

1414
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:08,880
Speaker 5: I don't want to jeopardize anything that I have right now,

1415
01:00:08,920 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 5: no matter what, I'm not thrilled about going myself. To

1416
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,000
Speaker 5: be honest, any advised what I should do.

1417
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 3: I think you just really need to figure out how

1418
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,240
Speaker 3: to say no, because I think I really do think

1419
01:00:19,240 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 3: that that's like where my brain is having trouble with this.

1420
01:00:21,960 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 4: It's like, well, how.

1421
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:25,720
Speaker 3: Do you not, like, if she's this is literally her

1422
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 3: like last wish, then how how do you just say no?

1423
01:00:29,720 --> 01:00:32,000
Speaker 4: I've already got someone like yeah.

1424
01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:34,240
Speaker 3: But I mean, I guess you can't hold yourself responsible

1425
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 3: for her like emotions like that, like you were saying yeah,

1426
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:41,520
Speaker 3: even if she like if you say that and reject

1427
01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:43,960
Speaker 3: that idea and then she starts crying or something like

1428
01:00:44,000 --> 01:00:45,280
Speaker 3: that and has a hard time It's.

1429
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 4: Like, well, what do you want me like? I have

1430
01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:48,760
Speaker 4: my own life. I can't.

1431
01:00:48,880 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 3: I can't keep coming back to you because I guess

1432
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:55,080
Speaker 3: that is important. The fact that she like went to

1433
01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:57,360
Speaker 3: him on his wedding day with his new wife to

1434
01:00:57,400 --> 01:00:59,720
Speaker 3: try to break them up is like, Okay, now you're

1435
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,480
Speaker 3: gonna be doing this till your last breath, trying to

1436
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 3: break up our relationship.

1437
01:01:03,960 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 4: It's not cool.

1438
01:01:04,600 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 3: Well, even if she said she wouldn't do it again,

1439
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 3: I feel like she still did it.

1440
01:01:08,320 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, and here she is again.

1441
01:01:11,360 --> 01:01:13,360
Speaker 5: You're right, You're right, you know. EDIT just want to

1442
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:15,640
Speaker 5: add that if I ever do this, I won't be

1443
01:01:15,720 --> 01:01:18,280
Speaker 5: acting like a husband or anything inappropriate like that. Just

1444
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 5: gonna see her and talk for a bit. My sister

1445
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 5: says that me just being there and sharing a meal

1446
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 5: with her would be more than enough for her to

1447
01:01:24,120 --> 01:01:26,480
Speaker 5: feel like we were married again. Here's what happened, many

1448
01:01:26,520 --> 01:01:28,920
Speaker 5: of you guys suggested. I talked to my wife. We

1449
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:31,440
Speaker 5: had a long to say about the whole situation, and

1450
01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 5: I assured her that no matter what, she is always

1451
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,280
Speaker 5: be my first priority. I also assured her that I

1452
01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:40,080
Speaker 5: wanted to say my goodbye and I would never act

1453
01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:42,360
Speaker 5: like her husband. It would be more like being a

1454
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:45,040
Speaker 5: childhood friends or something like that. I also told her

1455
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:48,120
Speaker 5: I would never spend the night nor be alone with her.

1456
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,480
Speaker 5: She was more than comfortable after our talk and was

1457
01:01:50,520 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 5: pretty okay with the idea of me seeing my ex again.

1458
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 5: As you guys guess, she really felt like she was

1459
01:01:54,400 --> 01:01:56,640
Speaker 5: forced to be okay with it when my sister asked,

1460
01:01:56,640 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 5: But this time he really was okay. So I talked

1461
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:02,520
Speaker 5: to my sister and after a long, long, heated discussion

1462
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 5: about what my role would be in the visit, you

1463
01:02:05,720 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 5: agreed to the boundaries my wife and I set. A

1464
01:02:07,840 --> 01:02:10,919
Speaker 5: week later, my sister came over to our old marital home.

1465
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:13,920
Speaker 5: It was surreal because while the emotions from years before

1466
01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 5: came back to me, I didn't feel any sadness, nor hatred,

1467
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 5: nor negative nor negativity. I saw my ex, who was

1468
01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:22,320
Speaker 5: waiting for us in the living room, and cried when

1469
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:24,840
Speaker 5: I walked in. Most of your suggested she was faking it.

1470
01:02:24,960 --> 01:02:27,960
Speaker 5: While she was still strong, you could tell almost immediately

1471
01:02:28,280 --> 01:02:30,760
Speaker 5: something was wrong with her. I indulged her with the

1472
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:32,840
Speaker 5: hug and we talked for a few hours. While my

1473
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,080
Speaker 5: sister made lunch. I showed her pictures of my kids

1474
01:02:35,200 --> 01:02:37,720
Speaker 5: and told her stories about what they were like. Honestly,

1475
01:02:38,040 --> 01:02:40,280
Speaker 5: I didn't know how I would react after I saw

1476
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 5: her again, But this just feels like seeing an old

1477
01:02:42,720 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 5: friend you haven't seen in a long time. There was

1478
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:46,640
Speaker 5: no hate or anything like that. I walked around the

1479
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:48,760
Speaker 5: house and it was pretty much the same way I

1480
01:02:48,840 --> 01:02:50,960
Speaker 5: left it over a decade ago. I'm not really sure

1481
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 5: how I feel about our wedding photos still framed and

1482
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 5: our pictures of us still all over the house, but

1483
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:57,640
Speaker 5: it wasn't really my place to say anything. Three of

1484
01:02:57,720 --> 01:03:00,400
Speaker 5: us had lunch, played a board games all after and

1485
01:03:00,440 --> 01:03:02,840
Speaker 5: honestly felt like we were back to when we were kids.

1486
01:03:03,200 --> 01:03:04,960
Speaker 5: Just the three of us would hang out together.

1487
01:03:05,040 --> 01:03:05,520
Speaker 4: It was nice.

1488
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:06,600
Speaker 5: That does sound nice?

1489
01:03:07,120 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 4: Nice?

1490
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:08,880
Speaker 5: Then we're like childhood friends.

1491
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:09,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1492
01:03:09,720 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 5: I left around six. She was sad, but she understood.

1493
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:14,560
Speaker 5: When I hoged her goodbye, he whispered, I love you

1494
01:03:14,600 --> 01:03:16,840
Speaker 5: to me, said how she's happy. I was able to

1495
01:03:16,840 --> 01:03:19,240
Speaker 5: find the happiness she couldn't give me. That part got

1496
01:03:19,280 --> 01:03:21,600
Speaker 5: to me, to be honest, and I was finding back tears.

1497
01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:24,200
Speaker 5: I told her i'd see her again soon. He asked

1498
01:03:24,240 --> 01:03:26,120
Speaker 5: if I could bring my kids next time. I told

1499
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:28,120
Speaker 5: her I would and left to pick up dinner for

1500
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 5: my family, taught my wife everything that happened, and she

1501
01:03:30,800 --> 01:03:32,880
Speaker 5: was quite happy about the outcome. I guess the help

1502
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:35,280
Speaker 5: that I brought home her favorite food, but she also

1503
01:03:35,400 --> 01:03:37,240
Speaker 5: agreed to let me bring the kids next time. And

1504
01:03:37,240 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 5: what dinner you can bring for us is just go

1505
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:43,240
Speaker 5: to your favorite podcast, ordering one of our only stories

1506
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 5: that we have on your favorite podcast platform, and eating

1507
01:03:45,800 --> 01:03:47,880
Speaker 5: that and eat it with us. Overall, it was a

1508
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 5: great experience seeing her again. Feel like I needed that

1509
01:03:50,360 --> 01:03:52,959
Speaker 5: and would have regretted not doing it again. I'd also

1510
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 5: like to think everyone who gave me advice also, please

1511
01:03:55,360 --> 01:03:57,520
Speaker 5: don't roast my ex too much. You made a mistake

1512
01:03:57,560 --> 01:03:59,560
Speaker 5: and paid the price, but it doesn't mean that she's

1513
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:01,960
Speaker 5: an evil person. This will be my last update. Thank

1514
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 5: you all very much. Read it, and that is the

1515
01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 5: end of that story.

1516
01:04:04,520 --> 01:04:07,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely not like a price that she would deserve

1517
01:04:08,680 --> 01:04:08,960
Speaker 4: all that.

1518
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, no, definitely not.

1519
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:13,640
Speaker 4: But you know she's dealing with enough, dealing with enough.

1520
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:14,000
Speaker 1: Reddit.

1521
01:04:14,280 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 5: I'm just saying she's anything on my ex. I hope

1522
01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:18,360
Speaker 5: to God you would say no.

1523
01:04:18,680 --> 01:04:19,840
Speaker 1: I guess we'll see.

1524
01:04:20,240 --> 01:04:22,720
Speaker 3: We'll see, because you know, this was a nice situation

1525
01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:26,200
Speaker 3: in it I think part of it is for OP too.

1526
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:28,840
Speaker 3: You know, I don't think that they're doing this just

1527
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:31,280
Speaker 3: for the ex wife. I think it's like a final

1528
01:04:31,320 --> 01:04:34,880
Speaker 3: goodbye yeah for OP, and because this was still like,

1529
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:38,360
Speaker 3: even though you know, she cheated on him and got

1530
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:40,960
Speaker 3: crazy and stuff, they were still childhood best friends and

1531
01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 3: with a sister too, So maybe it can be some

1532
01:04:43,880 --> 01:04:47,760
Speaker 3: sort of like satisfying closure to that portion of their life.

1533
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:48,440
Speaker 1: Agreed,