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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Riley your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Stories. I'm hosts and we got some great stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep this show alive. My employee

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Speaker 2: rage quit midshift, so I made her earn her job back.

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Speaker 3: Why'd you hire her back at all?

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Speaker 2: I thirty two mail partially own a local pharmacy. Most

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Speaker 2: of our patients are old folks, and a lot of

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Speaker 2: them have the I'm old and I can do what

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Speaker 2: I want mentality. As such, dealing with them can be

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Speaker 2: quite challenging at times. I do my best to keep

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Speaker 2: them in check, and I do ban the truly intolerable patients.

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Speaker 2: But if I kicked out every cranky old person that

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Speaker 2: came in, we'd be out of business in a week.

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Speaker 2: The poor old people need mesage. Where do they go to?

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Speaker 3: The cranky one up the street?

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Speaker 2: The cranky pharmacy. By the way, this comes from News

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Speaker 2: a Fuzzy one oh six. If you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime

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Speaker 2: suburn at I'm Dakota, I'm car We're gonna read this story.

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Speaker 2: Maybe have a little bit of advice. Maybe not, because

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Speaker 2: we're goofballs and we don't know everything. But tell us

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Speaker 2: what you know that you do in the comments and hope,

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Speaker 2: he says. Last week, one of our clients came in

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Speaker 2: on a really busy day and started getting nasty with

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Speaker 2: one of our techs, twenty female. I offered to step

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Speaker 2: in for her because I know this dude is awful,

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Speaker 2: but she said she would handle it. Five minutes later,

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Speaker 2: she stomped back in and shouted, schow this, I'm out,

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Speaker 2: grabbed her stuff, and marched out the door. I ran

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Speaker 2: after her and tried to calm her down, but she

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Speaker 2: was having none of it. She said she was just

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Speaker 2: tired of dealing with jerks and giving them a pass

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Speaker 2: just because they're old. I told her I understood her frustration,

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Speaker 2: take a thirty minute break, and that I would deal

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Speaker 2: with the uh problem child and come and then she

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Speaker 2: can come back to work, but she refused. Honestly, valid,

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Speaker 2: Now I see why.

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Speaker 4: But now I'm kind of like, do we not just

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Speaker 4: like give her a longer break and be like, what

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Speaker 4: is this again tomorrow or something?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, just like, how about just take the day off

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Speaker 2: or something?

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Speaker 3: But yeah, no, I get it, though, she tried with

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Speaker 3: the thirty minutes.

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Speaker 2: She just said, I'm not doing this anymore. I said,

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Speaker 2: if she wanted to take the day, it's a really

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Speaker 2: think before she made a decision. While angry, I would

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Speaker 2: give it to her, and she said no and walked off.

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Speaker 2: I was mad, but I understood because we were now

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Speaker 2: down to tech, we all had to stay an extra

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Speaker 2: three hours after close just to catch up. Well. Three

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Speaker 2: days later, she called and apologized, half crying, saying she

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Speaker 2: was having a bad day and she was overly stressed.

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Speaker 2: She went on about how crappy her life was going

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Speaker 2: and that she couldn't afford to be out of work now.

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Speaker 2: I was sympathetic and told her that if she wants

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Speaker 2: her job back, she can have it on three conditions.

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Speaker 2: One is to seek up for dealing with us stress.

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Speaker 2: I offered to pay for therapy and stress management courses.

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Speaker 2: If she quits again, that's it, it's done deal, and

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Speaker 2: I expected a written apology to her coworkers, not me

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Speaker 2: for work, for walking out on them midshift. She accepted

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Speaker 2: one and two, but refused the third, saying it was humiliating.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what's more humiliating, be apologizing or being like.

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Speaker 5: I'm I can't apologize because it's too humiliating, right.

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Speaker 2: OK, I think that's more embarrassing than just apologizing.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: I'm wondering if it's like she just doesn't want to

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Speaker 4: write it, which is like, come on, that's easy enough.

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Speaker 2: She's like, can I apologize via an interpretive dance of

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Speaker 2: some kind?

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Speaker 3: Personally, I'd accept that.

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Speaker 2: She just goes.

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Speaker 3: That was a dance for all of our listeners.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna have to tune in. You're gonna have

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Speaker 2: to tune in for that one, I said. She walked

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Speaker 2: out on her team midshift and left the rest of

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Speaker 2: us to pick up the slack and on her next shift.

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Speaker 2: Since I couldn't find a cover on forty eight hours notice,

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Speaker 2: we were all stuck working late as a result of

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Speaker 2: her sudden departure. She refused again and said she's not

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Speaker 2: going to humiliate herself like that, and said she won't

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Speaker 2: come back if I'm going to make her do that. Yikes.

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Speaker 2: I have a feeling I know why her life is

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Speaker 2: so hard right now.

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Speaker 4: I've also never heard of a pharmacy staying open late, though,

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Speaker 4: so I'm like, something, you're running a good thing here.

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Speaker 2: It's like, why, what did you have to do to

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Speaker 2: catch up? I'm unfamiliar.

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Speaker 4: Every pharmacy that I've ever went to closes early because

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Speaker 4: they just don't want to be there anymore.

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Speaker 3: But those are like corporation ones.

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Speaker 2: We had to stay late and count every single pill.

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Speaker 2: Everything we decided to do stock that day could be

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Speaker 2: I ended the conversation with if that's how you feel,

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Speaker 2: then so be it. I'm sorry we couldn't make it work.

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Speaker 2: I'll mail you your last check in the morning. I

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Speaker 2: informed my partner and she got mad at me, saying

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Speaker 2: that my request was unreasonable. She agreed that it would

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Speaker 2: be humiliating to her to write an apology like she

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Speaker 2: was a little kid. I countered that adults don't just

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Speaker 2: rage quit their job midshift with no nose, and there

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Speaker 2: it is, Oh you, oh, you throw a tantrum and

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Speaker 2: quit your job like little kid. You gotta write an

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Speaker 2: apology like a little kid.

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Speaker 4: The only thing that I could say is like, I

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Speaker 4: feel like we maybe could have just been like, okay,

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Speaker 4: like go do a very wholesome apology in person then

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Speaker 4: and I'll just like watch it kind of thing, or

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Speaker 4: like I'll witness it. Maybe it didn't have to be written,

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Speaker 4: but like, is it really that hard to just suck it.

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Speaker 3: Up and write one?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, dude, If anything, it would be more probably embarrassing

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Speaker 2: to do it in person for her is then she'd

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Speaker 2: be like, uh uh, I'm sorry, and then the boss

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Speaker 2: will be like not good enough more. Now we're at

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Speaker 2: an impasse. She wants to offer her her job back

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Speaker 2: Sam's apology, and I want to move on and find

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Speaker 2: someone new. I am questioning my decision now. So am

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Speaker 2: I the a hole for making an employee apologize in

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Speaker 2: order to get her job back. If I'm like, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I can't believe I did this. I like

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Speaker 2: snapped and now I'm unemployed and I need this money

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Speaker 2: and blah blah blah. If my guy's like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I will pay for your therapy, but you just have

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Speaker 2: to apologize to the people whose lives you inconvenienced for

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Speaker 2: three days, I would go, you're right, and.

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Speaker 4: Then I'd get over my embarrassment in the therapy that

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Speaker 4: my boss is paying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, Like, come on, You've done more than enough.

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Speaker 2: If this person is unable to even admit that they

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Speaker 2: did something wrong and write an apology, they're probably not

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Speaker 2: someone you even want to have employed. You tried, so

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Speaker 2: I don't think you did anything wrong. There's an edit.

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Speaker 2: Thanks to everyone for the responses. I've gotten some great

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Speaker 2: feedback in here, and I will definitely show the thread

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Speaker 2: to my partner see what she says. If anyone cares,

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Speaker 2: I'll post an update later on. Just respond to a

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Speaker 2: few common points I do not repeat. I do not

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Speaker 2: allow patience to get verbally aggressive, insulting, threatening, degrading anyone's character.

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Speaker 2: Anyone who goes down that road gets shown that or quickly.

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Speaker 2: Rudeness is on a gradient, and unfortunately, if you work

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Speaker 2: in customer service, you deal with rude people. My text

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Speaker 2: know I have their back if they need it, so

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Speaker 2: if someone goes too far, I do step in. If

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Speaker 2: I booted everyone who was ever rude or demanding, I

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Speaker 2: would have to close my doors in a week. When

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Speaker 2: I suggested a written apology, I meant her giving a

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Speaker 2: letter or writing a text to the other tech and

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Speaker 2: pharmacists on staff and giving it to them privately, not

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Speaker 2: like write it up and post it in the office

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Speaker 2: or read it aloud for everyone. My partner and I

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Speaker 2: trust each other. We've known each other for years and

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Speaker 2: have been working together since twenty twelve in some capacity.

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Speaker 2: Even when we disagree, we have enough trust in the

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Speaker 2: other that neither of us would make a major decision independently,

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Speaker 2: and that day to day management is the responsibility of

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Speaker 2: whoever is in the office at the time. She and

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Speaker 2: I share very similar philosophies when it comes to employee management.

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Speaker 2: We come into conflict at times, but we resolve it

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Speaker 2: fairly amicably. I was leaning more on the side of

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Speaker 2: a an apology, but a lot of people suggested a

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Speaker 2: verbal one might be sufficient, and I'm inclined to think

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Speaker 2: that this might be the better course of action. We'll

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Speaker 2: see what happens after. I talked to my partner and

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Speaker 2: there's an update. Bro, again, if this person came to

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Speaker 2: you and said I absolutely need this job and all

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Speaker 2: you said was, you just need to like text the

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Speaker 2: two employees who stayed late in the last two days

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Speaker 2: that you're sorry that you just walked out, and they said, no,

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Speaker 2: good luck in the job market. My guy, like, I

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Speaker 2: have nothing else to say. I showed the post to

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Speaker 2: my partner and we had a longer discussion about the situation.

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Speaker 2: I convinced her that a verbal apology was at least needed.

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Speaker 2: We called the staff meeting with the rest of our

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Speaker 2: team and got their take on the situation, and did

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Speaker 2: a general wellness check for everyone. Regarding the quitting situation,

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Speaker 2: the two who were on shift that night said they

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Speaker 2: weren't so much bothered that they had to work on

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Speaker 2: their own or work late, as much as just for

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Speaker 2: storming out like that. I asked them if they would

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Speaker 2: be okay with their coming back to work with them

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Speaker 2: and what their expectations were. The general response was that

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Speaker 2: they'd be fine with it. I told them that I

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Speaker 2: had offered her to come back on the condition that

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Speaker 2: she'd give a written apology to them. One said that

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Speaker 2: would be appreciated, the others said it was unnecessary. We

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Speaker 2: agreed that a private verbal apology was reasonable resolution, and

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Speaker 2: that if this happened, there would be no bad feelings.

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Speaker 2: Regarding the wellness check, I asked how they were handling

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Speaker 2: patients and whether or not they were feeling mistreated by

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Speaker 2: them or us. It was pretty unanimous that my gut

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Speaker 2: feeling was correct. They were mostly fine with it, that

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Speaker 2: the few real jerks we had were easy for them

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Speaker 2: to ignore, and that they know the community they grew

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Speaker 2: up in and work in and how to deal with them.

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Speaker 2: I reminded them that while I appreciated their tenacity, it

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Speaker 2: wasn't an excuse for patients being nasty to them, and

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Speaker 2: that if at any point they feel like the patients

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Speaker 2: are getting too rude or speaking out of line, do

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Speaker 2: not hesitate to pull me or my partner in to

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Speaker 2: either handle them or discipline them. No punishment, no judgment.

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Speaker 2: I told them, we want to make sure they're kept

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Speaker 2: as happy as possible, because the happier they are, the

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Speaker 2: better it is for everyone.

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Speaker 3: I love that.

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Speaker 4: OP was like, I'm gonna go ask the other two employees,

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Speaker 4: and they also split right down the middle.

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Speaker 3: They're like, we're not helping you with this decision. I

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Speaker 3: mean not intentionally.

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Speaker 2: I guess that would have been a good thing to

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Speaker 2: do at the very beginning, just to get because it's

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Speaker 2: like you kinda I guess you set up that expectation

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Speaker 2: of the apology just from a managerial and ownership perspective,

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Speaker 2: but like if you want to just checked in and

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Speaker 2: you're like, well, you only need to text one apology

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Speaker 2: to one person, the other person literally doesn't care. I

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Speaker 2: won't even have hard feelings about it. I just don't

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Speaker 2: think you're built for this if because this person's definitely

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Speaker 2: got so much pride. If they can't even just send

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Speaker 2: a like a text message apology for storming out of

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Speaker 2: their job, that's way too much pride to deal with

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Speaker 2: a bunch of ornery, grumpy old people, which.

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Speaker 3: Is probably they walked out of their job.

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Speaker 2: It's exactly why they walked out. So it's like it's

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Speaker 2: just gonna happen again.

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Speaker 4: I mean, maybe the therapy will help them, because he's

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Speaker 4: gonna pay for it for the worker.

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Speaker 2: After the staff meeting, my partner and I called our

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Speaker 2: former tech together, as we both agreed that it was

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Speaker 2: possible that she misunderstood my request as well. Oh so

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Speaker 2: this might have been your fault. Oh so you made

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Speaker 2: it sound like it was a here yee, hear yee,

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Speaker 2: not a text message. She was good at her job.

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Speaker 2: It just made more sense to bring her back than

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Speaker 2: to try and train someone new. We asked her if

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Speaker 2: she would be interested in coming back, and that the

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Speaker 2: offer for paid therapy was still on the table, and

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Speaker 2: that her apology did not need to be written, but

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Speaker 2: could be given verbally and privately. She agreed to come back.

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Speaker 2: As it turns out, she in fact, did think that

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Speaker 2: I meant for her to write the apology and post

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Speaker 2: it on our workboard or read it aloud. I apologized

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Speaker 2: for not being clearer and told her that I would

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Speaker 2: never humiliate one of my employees like that, and that

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Speaker 2: I asked for the pology to keep the mutual trust.

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Speaker 2: She's starting next week and looking for a therapist as well.

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Speaker 2: So happy endings overall. And that's the end of that story. Yeah, kay,

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Speaker 2: And let that be a lesson to be clear about

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Speaker 2: your instructions.

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Speaker 3: Really clear about what you mean.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, cause if you were clear about that, everything I

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Speaker 2: said I think stands true if you were clear, and

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Speaker 2: it was like, you can just do a text message,

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Speaker 2: and she said absolutely not. Whatever. You're not a team player, bro.

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Speaker 2: You gotta be able to miss say you made a mistake.

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Speaker 3: But as soon as you explained that it wasn't a

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Speaker 3: here here, she was fine.

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Speaker 2: She was fine. So that's on you a little bit. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. And we've got

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Speaker 2: another one right now.

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Speaker 4: My employer took fifteen hundred dollars from my check.

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Speaker 3: Then things got.

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Speaker 2: Worse about fifteen hundred dollars worse.

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Speaker 4: Hi, everyone, I am not from this area. I moved

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Speaker 4: here seven months ago and I currently work for a small,

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Speaker 4: locally owned business.

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Speaker 3: I have a degree in it.

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Speaker 4: I received an email two days ago from one of

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Speaker 4: the owners that they would be taking away my health

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Speaker 4: insurance effective November first, due to not meeting the thirty

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Speaker 4: five hour requirement.

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Speaker 2: I don't know anything about that.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Silver Act eighty one

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Speaker 4: sixty five. And if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 2: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, and we're.

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Speaker 3: Here to give good advice. Goofily, but we don't have

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Speaker 3: all the answers. We only know what we would do.

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Speaker 4: Let us know what you would do in the comments,

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Speaker 4: and Opie says, I'm scheduled for only thirty seven hours

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Speaker 4: a week.

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Speaker 3: I've asked for more.

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Speaker 4: If I miss one eight hour day, I slip below

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Speaker 4: the required amount of hours. It has never been an

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Speaker 4: issue in the months before until now. Plus the days

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Speaker 4: I missed were signed off on by them and were

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Speaker 4: approved vacation time. I unfortunately believe this to be retaliatory

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Speaker 4: for the fifteen hundred dollars I reported missing from my paycheck.

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Speaker 4: This month as this was the same email where they

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Speaker 4: admitted it was missing.

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Speaker 3: Not very slick.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a lawyer, but I certainly think you should

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Speaker 2: talk to one.

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Speaker 3: I would agree.

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Speaker 2: Anyways.

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Speaker 4: They said they would be cutting it off November first,

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Speaker 4: two days after the email, and only when I pointed

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Speaker 4: out that the deduction for November had already been taken

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Speaker 4: out from my check, they moved it to December first. Obviously,

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Speaker 4: I unfortunately need to get out of here, which stinks

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Speaker 4: because I like all of my coworkers and my direct

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Speaker 4: supervisor very much. I have a disease that makes it

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Speaker 4: so I should really never be without health insurance. It'll

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Speaker 4: unlive me in fifty years, but I'd prefer to not

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Speaker 4: have it be sooner. I've been saving to cover a

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Speaker 4: marketplace plan for a few months. Where in Madison, Wisconsin

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Speaker 4: can I get health insurance fairly quickly under three months,

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Speaker 4: either while I find and apply to something else, or

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Speaker 4: somewhere I can stay for a long time.

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Speaker 3: That will hire me fairly quickly.

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Speaker 4: I've done the math, and because my rent and car

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Speaker 4: payment are cheap, I only need to make eighteen.

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Speaker 3: To twenty dollars an hour. That's so nice.

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Speaker 4: I want that I could get away with less if

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Speaker 4: I just want to live and not save anything. I

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Speaker 4: have seven years experience in customer service, two to three

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Speaker 4: years in sales, two to three in hardware troubleshooting, and

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Speaker 4: two to three in a healthcare setting. I just graduated

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Speaker 4: with my degree in IT in May, but I've had

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Speaker 4: a full time job twenty four to seven since I

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Speaker 4: was fifteen. I've applied to quick Trip, Amazon, Costco.

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Speaker 3: Oh, they're gonna love that.

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Speaker 4: I'm dropping all these names, the healthcare tech company, Walmart,

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Speaker 4: Starbucks home Depot, and a plethora of other businesses. Amazon

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Speaker 4: and Co Costco have called me back. Costco could get

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Speaker 4: me in as a seasonal, but won't offer any health insurance.

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Speaker 4: I have an offer from Amazon to start the eighteenth,

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Speaker 4: but the shift schedule would be one am to eleven

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Speaker 4: thirty AM, and I would prefer not to do that. Obviously,

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Speaker 4: I'm happy to if it's my only option. I figured

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Speaker 4: the people who are from here and or know the

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Speaker 4: area better could give me more ideas. Using my degree

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Speaker 4: is not necessity. As long as I have health insurance,

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Speaker 4: I am more than happy to clean floors, wash dishes, anything,

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Speaker 4: et cetera. Thanks we have an update, But what are

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Speaker 4: your thoughts.

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Speaker 2: I hope you'll get your health insurance.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, to be honest, I think I would just get

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Speaker 4: one on the marketplace, and then if I got a

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Speaker 4: job that offered it, I would like reassess then. But

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Speaker 4: I like, and I mean, I don't know if this

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Speaker 4: goes for everywhere, but in the past, because I still

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Speaker 4: have health I have health insurance for one more week, guys,

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Speaker 4: and then I turned twenty six. But like, if a

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Speaker 4: job offered me health insurance and I didn't want it

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Speaker 4: because I already had a good one through my parents,

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Speaker 4: they would just pay me like a stipend of what

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Speaker 4: they would have used for my health insurance instead. So

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Speaker 4: I know that's an option with like a good amount

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Speaker 4: of companies. So I feel like I would just find

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Speaker 4: my own for now and like figure that out later

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Speaker 4: when I.

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Speaker 3: Got a job.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, Like, my biggest advice to you would be leave

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Speaker 2: this country because you if you have a chronic medical

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Speaker 2: condition that's gonna delete you in fifty years, go live

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Speaker 2: somewhere where they don't treat you like a like you

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Speaker 2: like you've done something wrong because you have an illness

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Speaker 2: aka America. Like go figure out how to emigrate somewhere

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Speaker 2: with your you know, with your degree or your skills,

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Speaker 2: to get a job somewhere that they're just like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you can just have health care, we tax you, and

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Speaker 2: look the world does it fall down around you? Like

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Speaker 2: you know, It's true. I can't imagine being chronically ill

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Speaker 2: in this country. My number one priority would be to

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Speaker 2: get out of here and become a citizen in a

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Speaker 2: different country. There's a lot of upsides to America. Healthcare

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Speaker 2: is not one of them. In fact, it is maybe

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Speaker 2: the biggest downside of living in this country. So move

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Speaker 2: to Spain or Germany, or England or Canada or I

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Speaker 2: don't know, Morocco. I don't know if the Moroccan healthcare

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Speaker 2: system is very tight.

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Speaker 3: But Japan, Japan, Japan's a very expensive country.

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Speaker 2: But Japan has very inexpensive healthcare.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but he'd be like he's coming from Wisconsin.

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Speaker 2: Pricing get out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say.

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Speaker 4: Marketplace until you can do any of that, though I've

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Speaker 4: heard it's lovely. I'll be checking that out soon.

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Speaker 2: I would unironically rather uproot my entire life than work

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Speaker 2: for Amazon from one am to thirty in Wisconsin.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm also wondering if your it, if there's like

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Speaker 4: any form of like union or something for that.

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Speaker 2: And like what that definitely not for Amazon.

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Speaker 4: Not for Amazon, but just like it, like other IT

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Speaker 4: jobs in general kind of thing, like cause I didn't

390
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Speaker 4: make enough hours for it, but if I did, I'd

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Speaker 4: have free health insurance through my editing. One update, so,

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Speaker 4: as you all know, I needed to get out of

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Speaker 4: my previous job very quickly. I applied two hundreds of

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Speaker 4: jobs in the span of a week or so, and

395
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Speaker 4: I was having multiple interviews each day. It was crazy. Thankfully,

396
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Speaker 4: my supervisor at the old job was very understanding and

397
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Speaker 4: disagreed strongly with the owner taking away my health insurance,

398
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Speaker 4: so he let me leave whenever for interviews. Prior to

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Speaker 4: any of this fiasco happening, I had met the owner

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Speaker 4: at Misty Mountain Games while playing a game there on

401
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Speaker 4: the East Side, and he had asked if I would

402
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Speaker 4: run the counter a couple of nights a week after

403
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Speaker 4: my primary job.

404
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Speaker 2: I wonder if we did we get this story from

405
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 2: the Madison, wiscons Nonsense sob Reddit.

406
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 4: I play games there routinely, so I was excited and

407
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 4: I had already sent him my availability. He asked me

408
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,840
Speaker 4: to come in while this fiasco was going on to

409
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Speaker 4: meet some of the staff and nail down exactly when

410
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Speaker 4: I'd be working.

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Speaker 3: I went and met everyone, and they were all wonderful.

412
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Speaker 4: But I had to tell the owner that my availability

413
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Speaker 4: wouldn't be the same as what I had sent prior,

414
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:25,160
Speaker 4: and I wasn't sure yet what exactly it would be.

415
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,560
Speaker 4: He asked why, so I told him what had happened,

416
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 4: and then I was going to be changing jobs.

417
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Speaker 3: He asked if he gave me.

418
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Speaker 4: Health insurance if I would come word there full time,

419
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Speaker 4: and I said yes, of course. I had offers from Costco, Starbucks, Amazon,

420
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:44,080
Speaker 4: and lots of other retail places and various local businesses.

421
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Speaker 3: Thank you all for the suggestions.

422
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 2: This country is so weird.

423
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,680
Speaker 4: You want to hear how weird it's gonna get ready

424
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 4: for this, Ready for this next sentence.

425
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Speaker 3: I make more here than any of those other offers.

426
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Speaker 2: It makes more business good good for you. Yeah, the

427
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:08,200
Speaker 2: the billion trillion dollar companies can't pay you as good

428
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,879
Speaker 2: as the guy, A guy more.

429
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Speaker 3: Than I need to live off and save.

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Speaker 4: Like I mentioned in my post, I also did not

431
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Speaker 4: have to wait at all for my health insurance like

432
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Speaker 4: all the other places, and the owner even back dated

433
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Speaker 4: my health insurance start date for me.

434
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Speaker 3: I have better insurance.

435
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:32,119
Speaker 4: Through courts at that and paid time off here versus

436
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,440
Speaker 4: at my last job. Seriously, I just wanted to post

437
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,439
Speaker 4: and say how thankful I am to all of you

438
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:38,080
Speaker 4: for your help.

439
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:39,600
Speaker 3: Some of you even.

440
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 4: Sent me specific job listings, which was going so far

441
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 4: out of your way to help.

442
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 3: I was so scared.

443
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 4: I am so grateful to all of you for the reassurance,

444
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 4: encouragement and help.

445
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 3: Happy holidays to you all. I can't thank you enough.

446
00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:54,760
Speaker 3: And that's the end of that story.

447
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad you found that that individual.

448
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, that sounds great.

449
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,280
Speaker 2: Much better plan than having to uproot your entire life

450
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: and move to a different continent. But that would have

451
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,480
Speaker 2: genuinely been my plan. So I'm glad you didn't do

452
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 2: that one. And that's the end of this story. Let's

453
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 2: head to the next one.

454
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Riley, your favorite Southern Bill. We're gonna

455
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,200
Speaker 1: get back to these stories, but here's three minutes worth

456
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,600
Speaker 1: of ads for our sponsors.

457
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,240
Speaker 2: My coworker said he just wanted to be friends, but

458
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 2: he kept buying.

459
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 3: Me things, buying it things as friends.

460
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 2: Maybe they were spicy things.

461
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 3: Oh not friends.

462
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 2: I eighteen female, started a new job in October. My coworker,

463
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 2: twenty seven male, immediately started talking to me my first

464
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 2: day there. I would talk to him in group settings,

465
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,239
Speaker 2: but he would always try to get me to go

466
00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:44,800
Speaker 2: with him to his car to breaks, et cetera. After

467
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 2: about a week of me working there, he started bringing

468
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 2: me Starbucks in the morning and even packing me lunch.

469
00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Deeba four twenty. If

470
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,879
Speaker 2: you want to some meet your own stories, go to

471
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 2: the r SIS show Kay Storytime, suburt it. I'm Dakota,

472
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 2: I'm Carly. We're gonna read this story and give you

473
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 2: some maybe some good advice might be a little goofy.

474
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:05,160
Speaker 2: Let us know what you would do in the comments,

475
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 2: and No P says After three weeks he had planned

476
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 2: an entire date to go get dinner and ice cream.

477
00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:13,919
Speaker 2: I told him I did not want to go and

478
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 2: I would only like to be friends at work, and

479
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 2: he said he understood. He kept bringing me lunch and

480
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:21,159
Speaker 2: buying me food, but I just kept it friendly and

481
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 2: professional and never went anywhere with him alone. Flash forward

482
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 2: to December and my battery had drained at work and

483
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 2: I asked him to jump it, and he had absolutely

484
00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 2: no idea what he was doing, if I'm being honest,

485
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 2: and on my way home it quite literally caught on fire.

486
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,800
Speaker 2: And he gave me four hundred dollars the next day.

487
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 3: What how do you do it that wrong?

488
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 2: I don't know.

489
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,480
Speaker 4: How do you do it that wrong that you start

490
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 4: driving before it catches on fire.

491
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 3: I feel like that might have just been a car problem.

492
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:53,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if that was him, But I

493
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 2: don't know enough to know that for certain, because I've

494
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 2: never been dumb enough to do that wrong. Because it's

495
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 2: very easy.

496
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, how do he mess that up?

497
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 2: You put the red on the thing, you put the

498
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 2: black on a thing, tada on two cars And if

499
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 2: I'm like twice, I'm like, h I don't know what

500
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:17,640
Speaker 2: to do. Poopee pu peep, woop peep. How do I

501
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 2: jump my car? I don't know that's it? Yeah, hmmm.

502
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,200
Speaker 2: I never said it was his fault or blamed him,

503
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,639
Speaker 2: but like, I don't know. I tried to refuse the money,

504
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:30,280
Speaker 2: and then afterwards told him I really don't want him

505
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 2: to be giving me money or buying me things really

506
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,719
Speaker 2: at all, because I feel like it's something that can

507
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:36,879
Speaker 2: be held over my head. He said, it's not like

508
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 2: that that he does this for all of his friends.

509
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 2: Then on Christmas he shows up to work with ugs

510
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 2: and AirPods, both very expensive things.

511
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 3: I just like the implication that he makes everyone's car

512
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 3: set on fire.

513
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 2: No, you don't understand. This happens every time. I have

514
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:55,120
Speaker 2: a slush fund of four hundred dollars payments to give

515
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 2: to people whose cars I light on fire. Well, this

516
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:59,920
Speaker 2: is I don't know. This guy's so persistent. It makes

517
00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 2: me questioned, like, did he did he make your car

518
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 2: light on fire? If you just had a really bad battery?

519
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that might have just been a car issue.

520
00:25:09,520 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 2: He said it was because he felt bad about the

521
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 2: car and he was trying to make up for the

522
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 2: things that I've lost. But I've never said that I

523
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,360
Speaker 2: lost uggs or AirPods in the car, because I've never

524
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,359
Speaker 2: even owned ugs or AirPods. I don't know. Wait a minute,

525
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:26,520
Speaker 2: time out, did we glaze over? Did we skip over

526
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 2: the fact that your car lit on fire? And then

527
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 2: fully like was on fire and your your car has

528
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 2: gone is did that happen? That didn't happen? Right, because

529
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,399
Speaker 2: implying you lost things in the car.

530
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,320
Speaker 3: Well, you know, the car was on fire, but like

531
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 3: a little.

532
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,439
Speaker 4: On fire, or like I think ones it's on fire,

533
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 4: it's on fire.

534
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 2: Those fires can go out. How here's four hundred dollars.

535
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,639
Speaker 2: Your whole car is on fire.

536
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 3: Oh he didn't set it on fire, did we think?

537
00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 2: As far as we know. I then explained to him

538
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,400
Speaker 2: again that I only wanted to be friends and that

539
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:04,760
Speaker 2: all of these gifts and everything was just too much

540
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 2: for me, and I just don't like it. And he

541
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 2: said again that he understood, and he was worried that

542
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 2: I would think that, but he doesn't want anything with anyone.

543
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 2: And then he said he's been talking to other coworkers

544
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 2: about the situation. Insane. He doesn't understand why I brought

545
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 2: it up, because he knew that I just wanted to

546
00:26:22,520 --> 00:26:25,880
Speaker 2: be friends and everything, and he's just making things awkward

547
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 2: with other people that work with us. And I just

548
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,000
Speaker 2: don't know if I'm in the wrong. Well, I certainly

549
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 2: know that however you phrased those sentences was wrong. I

550
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 2: still have the gifts, But I don't know. Am I

551
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 2: the a hole? Not? What?

552
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 3: No?

553
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:40,239
Speaker 2: Are you the a hole?

554
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 3: Is the question we want it for.

555
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 2: Are you the a hole for what. I'm still trying

556
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 2: to decipher your wording here.

557
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,600
Speaker 4: Which again shows that you are eighteen and your twenty

558
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 4: seven year old coworker is giving you lavish gifts and

559
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:58,919
Speaker 4: maybe setting your car on fire.

560
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,159
Speaker 2: I got his say. I don't know if this is

561
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:07,120
Speaker 2: the right or wrong thing, but if I was being

562
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 2: given gifts by someone and I didn't want to date

563
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 2: them and they just kept giving me stuff, I would just.

564
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 3: Keep taking them.

565
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 2: I would just keep taking them after being like, yeah,

566
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 2: you know that that's not gonna happen, right, and they go, yeah,

567
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 2: here's my friend. I go nice, Thanks for the ugs,

568
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 2: Thanks for the AirPods. Here's a little wish list. Send

569
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,200
Speaker 2: that over to your email.

570
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:29,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, se la vi man.

571
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:34,399
Speaker 2: It, get it while it getting's good, Okay, so Op says,

572
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,040
Speaker 2: I work in a warehouse, so all of this definitely

573
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,840
Speaker 2: gets overlooked by higher ups. He also has been with

574
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 2: the company since they started, and I'm pretty much brand

575
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 2: new compared to everyone else. It sucks because I really

576
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 2: like this job. I have talked to other people and

577
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 2: it seems like this has been a problem with other

578
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: people in the past, including leads and managers, which is interesting.

579
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 2: To me, I've been declining recent offers. After the Christmas gifts.

580
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 2: He had asked if I wanted to Barbucks and Canes

581
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,440
Speaker 2: on two separate occasions, and I declined both times. He's

582
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 2: backed off since then, but has been switching his normal

583
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,400
Speaker 2: task to be closer to me. Even though we aren't talking.

584
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 2: My other coworkers are definitely tuned in on it, though

585
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 2: I had already talked to a supervisor and they basically

586
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 2: said the only thing they can do is move me.

587
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 2: He's worked there for five years since the company started,

588
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 2: and other coworkers have said this is a repeat incident.

589
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:27,919
Speaker 2: We have HR but I work in a warehouse and

590
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 2: this is the last thing they care about. They care

591
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,879
Speaker 2: way more about seniority than their employee's safety. He's been

592
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,120
Speaker 2: there for four years, so they do not care. I've

593
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 2: been there for four months. I actually have made very

594
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 2: good friends with some of my coworkers, a dad and

595
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 2: a daughter my age. There's also a few other dads

596
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,240
Speaker 2: and moms that I talked to there, and I very

597
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 2: much have made a work family in the time I've

598
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,040
Speaker 2: worked there, and they all definitely think the situation is

599
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 2: weird as well. We live in a state with open records,

600
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,160
Speaker 2: and I've searched him up. The only thing there is

601
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 2: a dewy DUI. I asked him for jumper cables after

602
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,120
Speaker 2: I asked about ten other people and I had someone

603
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: with me. The car was old and had a lot

604
00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:09,880
Speaker 2: of miles on it, but I took it to get

605
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,479
Speaker 2: checked regularly. The only thing that was wrong with it

606
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 2: was the tiniest oil leak that they had found about

607
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,520
Speaker 2: a month before this, but I kept up on it

608
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,480
Speaker 2: and had just had my car checked a week prior

609
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:22,120
Speaker 2: to the fire. My sister was working with me at

610
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 2: the time and she had the battery on without the

611
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 2: engine while she was on break, which is what caused

612
00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 2: it to fully drain. I only had liability insurance, so

613
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 2: it wasn't covered. When I say it caught on fire,

614
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,720
Speaker 2: I mean the entire car pretty much went up in flames.

615
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,720
Speaker 2: It started under the hood, but we aren't one hundred

616
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 2: percent sure why. They said they think the cause was

617
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 2: the hood prop not being clipped into place, but they

618
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 2: could not tell. With how much it was damaged, it

619
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 2: was definitely not repairable and I lost everything that was

620
00:29:50,440 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 2: in it. I understand I shouldn't have accepted the gifts now.

621
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 2: But I am young and freshly eighteen and out of

622
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 2: high school. I haven't had the best home life growing up,

623
00:29:58,440 --> 00:30:00,520
Speaker 2: and the only person I've had around is my dad.

624
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 2: I've had to learn a lot of things on my own,

625
00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 2: and I tend to take advice from people around me,

626
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,680
Speaker 2: and a lot of my coworkers were telling me to

627
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: just accept the stuff. Not everything is free in life,

628
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: and most people would have taken the things. Verdict not

629
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 2: the a hole. And I gotta say all those people

630
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 2: saying don't take.

631
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 3: The stuff, no, don't take the stuff.

632
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 2: It depends on your temperament. I'm a person who would

633
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,400
Speaker 2: take the stuff. And then if that guy laid a

634
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 2: finger on me, it would be a clock. It would

635
00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:34,320
Speaker 2: be just a clock, you know, it would be a

636
00:30:34,440 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 2: clock that was mace, by the way. But that's just me.

637
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 2: I was raised by a woman who was essentially a.

638
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 3: Cowboy, So don't take the gifts.

639
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 2: Get yours. Well, why is it her fault.

640
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 3: It's not her fault, but she shouldn't take the gift.

641
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 6: Just take the gifts.

642
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 3: And she's like, stay away from this man as much

643
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:54,760
Speaker 3: as possible.

644
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 2: And stay away from him, stay away from him, and

645
00:30:59,000 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 2: take the gifts.

646
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 3: I don't think you can do both.

647
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,800
Speaker 2: I think she is though, or she has she was,

648
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 2: she works with him, but that's it.

649
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 3: Go to HR. Put in a report.

650
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 2: Hi everyone, So I genuinely was not going to post

651
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,800
Speaker 2: an update about this because the situation had honestly calmed down.

652
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 2: He had not talked to me or anything since I

653
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 2: confronted him about everything and had kept my distance. I

654
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,600
Speaker 2: definitely took into consideration everything that you guys had said.

655
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 2: I did not give the gifts back. He wasn't talking

656
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 2: to me, and I was not going to initiate that.

657
00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:33,440
Speaker 2: I have talked to my HR and they are pretty

658
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 2: much not going to do anything. I've switched to a

659
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 2: part time role and I'm looking for a new job now.

660
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 2: The reason I'm updating is because yesterday I got a

661
00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,360
Speaker 2: message from a random number. I'm going to paste it here,

662
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 2: but start out the name. Hey, it's super weird guy

663
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:51,479
Speaker 2: from your work. I got your number off the work app.

664
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 2: I'm sorry about everything. I wanted to hit you up sooner,

665
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 2: but I didn't want to bother you. Honestly, I miss

666
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: hanging out with you and hearing you laugh and talk

667
00:31:58,240 --> 00:31:59,480
Speaker 2: about whatever was on your mind.

668
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:00,520
Speaker 3: Whoop whoop.

669
00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 2: It was one of the best parts of my day.

670
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,040
Speaker 2: It bumps me out how things went down, but I

671
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 2: just wanted to thank you for being an awesome friend.

672
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 2: I miss you and I hope you're doing well. When

673
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 2: I got this message, I was extremely creeped out and concerned,

674
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 2: considering the fact we do not have a work app

675
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:19,440
Speaker 2: that shows our numbers, and considering just everything that we

676
00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 2: was said in that message. In general. We were never

677
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 2: close like that, and we hung out in a group

678
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 2: setting on breaks at work only if taking this message

679
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 2: to HR, but they're not doing anything. What do I

680
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 2: do now? I responded to him and blocked his number

681
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 2: and will paste that message at the end of this.

682
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 2: I don't think there's really anything else I can do

683
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 2: until I find a new job. My reply, I thought

684
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,959
Speaker 2: we cleared this up. I'm not interested in being friends.

685
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:49,960
Speaker 2: Things got uncomfortable for me. It didn't feel like your

686
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 2: only intention was friendship. The age difference and the gifts

687
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 2: made it feel weird to me, and this message honestly

688
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,800
Speaker 2: made me uncomfortable. Do not reach out to me again. Comments.

689
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure the person I talked to is the

690
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 2: head of HR. The company is a little smaller with

691
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 2: only three locations. They are also a very email heavy company,

692
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 2: so most of these conversations get email recaps sent to me.

693
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: They do make it seem like they're concerned about it,

694
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 2: but then they tend to brush everything under the rug.

695
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:18,520
Speaker 2: With anyone experiencing this kind of thing, I am definitely

696
00:33:18,600 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 2: considering legal advice though. I've had my dad check my

697
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 2: car for a tracker though, and there was nothing. Also,

698
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 2: I recently got a new car, and I'm not sure

699
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 2: if he knows which car is mine unless he has

700
00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 2: watched me and seen me get in it. I mean,

701
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,600
Speaker 2: it's probably just time to move to a different location

702
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 2: if you can it's local.

703
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 4: It really sucks that your business's HR wouldn't help you

704
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 4: enough that you didn't have to move jobs, because that's

705
00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 4: why they're there to help the employees. But yeah, if

706
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 4: they're not gonna help move, leave the company even if

707
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 4: you can.

708
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:53,959
Speaker 6: I don't know.

709
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, on a real level, like that's what

710
00:33:56,920 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 2: you should do, But on a much funnier, goofy level,

711
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 2: you could make this guy like pay for your brand

712
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 2: new car by being like I will respond to a

713
00:34:08,719 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 2: text message for five thousand dollars Anyway, it's a little

714
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 2: bit more story here. I talked to my supervisor today

715
00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:18,960
Speaker 2: rather than HR, and he said he has no idea

716
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 2: what app he could be referring to. We don't have

717
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 2: any messaging apps through work, only email, he said. The

718
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,080
Speaker 2: only thing he could have found on a work app

719
00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 2: is my work email. And I'm definitely considering legal action

720
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: because even when I said something today, it didn't seem

721
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 2: like they were going to do anything. I'm going to

722
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,839
Speaker 2: unblock his number and see if any more messages come in.

723
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 2: I really appreciate the advice. We do have cameras, just

724
00:34:41,719 --> 00:34:44,760
Speaker 2: not a doorbell one, and they're all over the outside

725
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 2: of our house. I did contact a lawyer, but there

726
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 2: are certain laws with this extent of things, and they

727
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:53,040
Speaker 2: think I do have a case. I just have to

728
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 2: get it approved before a lawyer can take it, and

729
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 2: that's the end of that story. Yeah, it does feel

730
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,279
Speaker 2: like HR are a real level guys. Come on, I'm

731
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:04,759
Speaker 2: not if anyone thought I was really being serious about that. Yeah,

732
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 2: you need you're not built for the Internet. Yeah, maybe

733
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,040
Speaker 2: sue HR because.

734
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know what clause with that part, but

735
00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 4: this man's creepy.

736
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 2: I'm not a lawyer, but I would have uh, self

737
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 2: defense is important at all in all cases, because it

738
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 2: might not be your coworker. It could be the stranger

739
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,480
Speaker 2: you've never met, like the guy in Albuquerque who I

740
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 2: had never seen before in my life who tried to

741
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,960
Speaker 2: pepper spray me in my face. But thank goodness, it

742
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 2: was a windy day and I had a basketball under

743
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:36,799
Speaker 2: my arm because I pulled it up and then it

744
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 2: blew back onto him and he pepper sprayed himself. I

745
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 2: didn't know why I did, And after that happened, I said, Wow,

746
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,360
Speaker 2: I should probably have a better understanding of self defense

747
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 2: and sort of like, you know, knowing how much distance

748
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 2: I need to keep between myself and others because I

749
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 2: let that guy walk right up on me because I

750
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 2: was confused, and I won't let that happen again.

751
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, everyone should take a sotefle defense class.

752
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to

753
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,840
Speaker 2: the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite rat brain

754
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 2: host here, and we're gonna get back to the stories soon.

755
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My

756
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: sister destroyed our new family by ruining our father's engagement.

757
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,680
Speaker 3: Why would you do that.

758
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,120
Speaker 2: Let's find out. I am really angry right now at

759
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 2: my stupid and titled barrat of a sister. I want

760
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 2: to use a different B word, but I don't think

761
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 2: I can post with it. Just know it is the

762
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,200
Speaker 2: one I mean. I wish I could type out just

763
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 2: how much I hate her right now, so maybe this

764
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 2: will help.

765
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,760
Speaker 6: How old do you think op he is a teenager? Yeah?

766
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Yeah. By the way, this comes from

767
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 2: user log rolling in Ontario, this person might be seventy.

768
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:46,880
Speaker 2: I don't know.

769
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,240
Speaker 6: Okay, do the youth like log rolling.

770
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 2: If you want us to meet your own stories, go

771
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:53,800
Speaker 2: to the R side showkay, storytime, subredd it. I'm Dakota,

772
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,359
Speaker 2: I'm Angie. We got to read this story. I don't

773
00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 2: know what it's gonna say, and I don't know what

774
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:01,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, So keep that in mind and comment

775
00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 2: what you think Opie says. There's so much I want

776
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,720
Speaker 2: to yell at her or just get off my chest,

777
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 2: but we're at our grandparents' place and I can't lash

778
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 2: out at her like she deserves, and she knows it too.

779
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 2: I don't know how much of it is relevant, but

780
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,719
Speaker 2: here goes hoping I'm less angry when I'm done. For

781
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:23,960
Speaker 2: a background, my family is me and my twins. Sebastian

782
00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 2: sixteen male, and he's riding this with me teenager teenager

783
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 2: called it teenager alert. Our sister Lisa seventeen female, Our

784
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:38,040
Speaker 2: dad Sean forty one male in our former slash future

785
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 2: stepmom Amy thirty six female. Our mom passed away nine

786
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 2: years ago. Dad didn't date for five years, then briefly

787
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 2: dated a disaster called Riley.

788
00:37:47,280 --> 00:37:48,839
Speaker 6: Riley we know one of those.

789
00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 2: After Riley, he took another break from dating. He then

790
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:55,479
Speaker 2: met Amy about three years ago, introduced us two years ago.

791
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 2: We all moved in together to a bigger house one

792
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 2: year ago, and they got engaged six months ago. Wow,

793
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 2: which means I guess this is right on track for,

794
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 2: you know, getting divorced.

795
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 6: Right like they're on track to get divorced.

796
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 2: I I was just it's like, you introduce, you move in,

797
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,279
Speaker 2: you get engaged. Yeah, Well, I guess technically then you

798
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:16,240
Speaker 2: have to get do the wedding.

799
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,240
Speaker 6: Gotta get married first.

800
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:20,399
Speaker 5: Yeah, and they kid maybe not then the next step

801
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,200
Speaker 5: would be divorced.

802
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,440
Speaker 2: I guess before Riley was even in the picture, we

803
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 2: weren't thrilled Dad had started dating again, but we went

804
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 2: to therapy as a family to work through it. We

805
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 2: made peace with it for the most part, but then

806
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,440
Speaker 2: Riley came and she was just the worst. She was rude,

807
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 2: jealous of our mom's memory, a gold digger, didn't like us,

808
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:43,560
Speaker 2: and just all around was horrible. The three of us

809
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 2: kind of made an agreement that we would not allow

810
00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 2: anyone to erase our mom, we would never allow anyone

811
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 2: to adopt us, and we would be polite but keep

812
00:38:50,640 --> 00:38:53,839
Speaker 2: our distance from whoever Dad dated. It felt like we

813
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 2: were honoring mom that way without stopping our dad from

814
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 2: moving on. We also started calling the three of us

815
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 2: and Dad the Core four. Dude, that's sick.

816
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 6: That's a pretty cool superhero group.

817
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,760
Speaker 2: Getting to know Amy though, and then moving in together,

818
00:39:09,800 --> 00:39:12,279
Speaker 2: we have done a one point eighty on that me

819
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 2: and Sebastian more than Lisa. Amy is just good people.

820
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 2: She is crazy, smart and nerdy. She's got like three

821
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,759
Speaker 2: degrees one in psychology, which explains a lot, and we

822
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 2: all play D and D together. She is successful, artistic, athletic, deadpan, hilarious.

823
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 2: She has an energy like when we're around family and

824
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 2: they're all loud and crazy. She talks and people just

825
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,000
Speaker 2: shut up and listen.

826
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:35,200
Speaker 6: That's power right there.

827
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 2: I don't know how best to describe that.

828
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 4: Like.

829
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:41,319
Speaker 2: She is wise and kind and patient, but also an

830
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 2: absolute sigma bab. She is cool to hang out with,

831
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:46,919
Speaker 2: and she loves our dad. She also sets them straight

832
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:49,160
Speaker 2: a lot. We kind of default to her as our

833
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 2: neutral third party when there's a disagreement, and she is

834
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:55,360
Speaker 2: very good at navigating that. She is just really cool.

835
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 2: She's also genuinely interested in our lives and hobbies. She

836
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:01,399
Speaker 2: has at least one thing with each of us. Seb

837
00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 2: and her do artsy stuff, and they both play tennis.

838
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 2: She also plays video games with me, and she and

839
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 2: Lisa read a lot and go book shopping like every

840
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:12,320
Speaker 2: few months. The house is full of books. She's teaching

841
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 2: Lisa how to drive. They're both Kate pop fans blah

842
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 2: blah blah blah blah. I honestly think they clicked more

843
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 2: quickly and naturally and vibe the best whenever Lisa allows it.

844
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 2: Amy also never stops us talking about our mom. She

845
00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 2: respectfully encourages it. There's a few pictures of Mom around

846
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,279
Speaker 2: the house still, and she's totally okay with that, Like

847
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 2: she is not threatened by my mom's presence at all.

848
00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:34,000
Speaker 2: She once helped Seb make a painting of a photo

849
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:35,960
Speaker 2: of the five of us, Dad, Mom, Lisa, me and

850
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:39,760
Speaker 2: Seb for our maternal granddad's birthday. Even my mom's family

851
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:42,879
Speaker 2: like her my aunt, Mom's sister and her have been

852
00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 2: good friends. She asked them and Dad about Mom when

853
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:48,480
Speaker 2: we mentioned something we all used to do, and we

854
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 2: found out a few months ago that she also lost

855
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 2: her dad when she was twelve. I said that like

856
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 2: with such like a cute intonation, but that sucks, I'm sorry,

857
00:40:56,920 --> 00:41:01,040
Speaker 2: but also shared experience and yeah.

858
00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,080
Speaker 6: Absolutely everything seems so perfect right now.

859
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, Lisa, what are you gonna do?

860
00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 6: What's gonna happen?

861
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 2: Or are you gonna mess this all up? Lisa?

862
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:08,879
Speaker 6: Lisa seems so freaking cool right now.

863
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:11,160
Speaker 2: Lisa's about to freaking mess everything.

864
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:12,480
Speaker 6: I want that to happen.

865
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,480
Speaker 2: Uh, But forget about that for now and just listen

866
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 2: to this. I think that settled a lot of things

867
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 2: for Lisa, who I know sometimes uses our mom to

868
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 2: try to spite Amy, though again Amy would either just

869
00:41:25,920 --> 00:41:29,280
Speaker 2: you know, use kindness or move on from the subject.

870
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,719
Speaker 2: Dad loves Amy, and she makes him happy. She is

871
00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:35,480
Speaker 2: his balance in a way. They go so well together.

872
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 2: Our dad is awesome, patient, smart, strict, but kind, goofy.

873
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 2: Sometimes he has his own hang ups, but he is

874
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 2: slow to anger and always open to discuss anything with us.

875
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 2: He doesn't yell at us much, but he is supportive

876
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,399
Speaker 2: and overall has been a great debt. She and Dad

877
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 2: made it very clear she has absolutely no intention of

878
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 2: replacing Mom, that she's a person of authority in the

879
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 2: household without being a parent, and that she's open to

880
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 2: whatever relationship we want to have with her. It's a

881
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 2: two way street. She has never demanded or pushed for

882
00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 2: anything other than basic human to human respect and kindness.

883
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 2: Here's why Lisa sucks.

884
00:42:09,719 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 6: Wow wow fun huh.

885
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 2: While we are really doing well and getting along great,

886
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,359
Speaker 2: Lisa sometimes gets whiplash and randomly regresses to Riley time,

887
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,000
Speaker 2: especially after Amy and her spend time together having fun.

888
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 2: It's like she's trying to rile Amy up to justify

889
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:33,440
Speaker 2: why she thinks Dad dating is a bad idea. I mean, honestly, dog,

890
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:37,919
Speaker 2: she just needs more therapy. She needs to work through

891
00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:38,879
Speaker 2: that more like.

892
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I mean she was still so you guy,

893
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:43,839
Speaker 6: she was like, what six.

894
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:48,440
Speaker 5: When when your guys' mom or passed away, Like that's.

895
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 6: It's gonna it's gonna be weird. It's just new stuff

896
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 6: for you know.

897
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 5: Maybe it's not totally part of like the grieving process,

898
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 5: but it's it's still just a weird situation it is.

899
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 2: It's just like it's strange. And I just know I

900
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 2: know that the title is RUINEDO the engagement. I just

901
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 2: question how it could get ruined when Amy's so smart. Yeah,

902
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,880
Speaker 2: I feel like Amy would just see anything that Lisa

903
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 2: does is like, okay, well this is the action of yeah,

904
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 2: a hurt teenager.

905
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 5: Especially if Amy was there before, like she's she's probably

906
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 5: had those same feelings before.

907
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, well let's get a little dig a little deeper

908
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,600
Speaker 2: into why Lisa sucks do it? She snaps it random

909
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 2: stuff just to bomb heads. Only it's not working very

910
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 2: well because Amy just does it bomp. She isn't engaging

911
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 2: Lisa when she's like this. She will maybe set a

912
00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:38,640
Speaker 2: boundary like I won't engage with you when you act

913
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 2: like this, and after that is completely uninterested in Lisa's

914
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 2: outbursts and she just lets our dad handle it. It

915
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:46,799
Speaker 2: doesn't feel like it's out of spite though. The best

916
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,960
Speaker 2: I can describe it as Amy is living her life

917
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:52,759
Speaker 2: legitimately happy and willingly making offers and openings to all

918
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 2: of us, Lisa included, without making a big deal out

919
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 2: of it. When Lisa doesn't participate in or says something

920
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 2: snarky or downright rude, Amy just shrugs and go on

921
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 2: with their life, because Amy's a genius.

922
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:06,440
Speaker 6: And she's an adult and she's smart. Like, I have

923
00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:09,360
Speaker 6: so much faith in Amy, like it, truly. It feels

924
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 6: like Opie.

925
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 5: It's probably so much harder for OPI to handle this

926
00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,600
Speaker 5: because OPI is so close in age with Lisa, like

927
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 5: he's like in it, and so he's he feels like

928
00:44:18,920 --> 00:44:20,600
Speaker 5: she's gonna mess something up. But I feel like once

929
00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,080
Speaker 5: you're an adult and people are doing things like that,

930
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,800
Speaker 5: they have less power to you.

931
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:26,560
Speaker 2: You know. Yeah, because at the at the end of

932
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 2: the day, Amy's clearly got the process down perfectly.

933
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 6: Mm hm.

934
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 2: So I think whatever happens here, you just kind of

935
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 2: gotta have faith in Amy.

936
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, yep, yep, yep.

937
00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 2: If we ask Amy if she's upset or angry at

938
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:42,240
Speaker 2: Lisa for lashing out, she says she understands how Lisa

939
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 2: must be feeling, and that everyone is allowed a tantrum

940
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,880
Speaker 2: every once in a while. She knows Lisa is a

941
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,560
Speaker 2: good girl and she will come around on her own

942
00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 2: and true enough. When Lisa then calms down and apologizes

943
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,160
Speaker 2: with or without Dad's mediation, again, Amy doesn't make a

944
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 2: big deal out of it, and they pick up where

945
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:00,360
Speaker 2: they left off. Here's an example we were having and

946
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:03,799
Speaker 2: Lisa was arguing with her and Dad. She said she

947
00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:07,160
Speaker 2: didn't want what Amy cooked because it smelled disgusting, and

948
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 2: started insulting Amy's country where the dish was from, even

949
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:13,960
Speaker 2: though she usually loves it. Boy, Amy just said sit

950
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 2: yourself like she could not care less, served the rest

951
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 2: of us and sat down and started eating and talking

952
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 2: to Seb and I. Dad took Lisa to talk, and

953
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,439
Speaker 2: after they came back, he asked Amy if it would

954
00:45:23,440 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 2: be okay for Lisa to still sit and eat with us.

955
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 2: Amy said sure and continued chatting. Lisa apologized for her

956
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 2: comments without Dad prompting her, and Amy just smiled, said

957
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 2: thank you and kept talking to Sab like nothing happened.

958
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 6: Amy is so freaking cool. Oh my god, she's perfect nude.

959
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 2: Amy is literally the pinnacle apex yes of emotional intelligences.

960
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 5: Like how you guys lucked out with having Amy in

961
00:45:49,680 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 5: your life.

962
00:45:50,400 --> 00:45:54,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, truly. When the conversation naturally drifted to something related

963
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:57,440
Speaker 2: to Lisa, Amy just spoke to her normally. The issue

964
00:45:57,480 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 2: is the very few times Amy does respond with the

965
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:03,040
Speaker 2: same energy. When she's tired or has had enough, Nothing

966
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 2: we say gets to her, like she stops caring, Like

967
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 2: she suddenly gets quiet and throws something back at you,

968
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:11,640
Speaker 2: and you just never expect it because overwhelmingly she is

969
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,919
Speaker 2: the calm and mature one when there's an issue. Seb

970
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:18,839
Speaker 2: calls this saba sneak attack by Amy. If I could

971
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 2: pick one flaw of Amy, that would be it.

972
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:22,840
Speaker 6: Okay, so sometimes she does snap back at you.

973
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 2: Well, so the one flaw of eighty the one flaw

974
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 2: of Amy is that when she does decide to be rude,

975
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,239
Speaker 2: she is better at being rude than everyone else.

976
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:32,840
Speaker 6: That sounds like a skill to me.

977
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:36,839
Speaker 2: Amy is just brutal sometimes when she's had enough, where

978
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 2: something bad happens at work and it just comes out

979
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:43,240
Speaker 2: of left field, she destroys you and doesn't even blink.

980
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 2: It is immensely enjoyable to witness when she goes saba

981
00:46:47,360 --> 00:46:50,480
Speaker 2: on our behalf, but not so much when we trigger it.

982
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:54,600
Speaker 2: To clarify, Amy is like ridiculously patient ninety nine percent

983
00:46:54,600 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 2: of the time and incredibly effective in managing conflict. She

984
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 2: also can recognize when she's close to the lawn, and

985
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 2: so she either steps away or warns us, and we

986
00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 2: usually understand and back off, and then she follows up

987
00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,799
Speaker 2: on her own and she always says thank you for

988
00:47:07,840 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 2: waiting to talk. If she goes too low when saba ing,

989
00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:14,239
Speaker 2: she always apologizes and makes some ends. You're quite good

990
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,959
Speaker 2: at communicating as a family for the most part thanks

991
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 2: to her mostly, but once in a while when we

992
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 2: push and Amy goes there, it's not good. Sometimes it's

993
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:27,399
Speaker 2: just snark. Like once I told her, f you mid fight.

994
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:29,719
Speaker 2: Amy just shrugged and said, your father does that enough,

995
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:37,680
Speaker 2: I'll let him know he was out. Oh Amy, Oh

996
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 2: my god, my god. Okay, yeah, I know I'm done

997
00:47:41,320 --> 00:47:44,160
Speaker 2: at that point. I'm like, you win forever. I'll never

998
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:46,959
Speaker 2: say anything like that ever again. Yeah that's my bad.

999
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. In a battle of being able to upset

1000
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,960
Speaker 2: each other, she will always win. She sure well, she

1001
00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 2: will always win.

1002
00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 6: That is proof enough. We can trust her with that.

1003
00:47:57,560 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god, dang, she said, I'll let him know

1004
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:01,360
Speaker 2: he has your blessing.

1005
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 6: Ooh oh.

1006
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,720
Speaker 2: Sab was yelling about a missed practice, which was his fault,

1007
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:09,560
Speaker 2: and she yawned mid sentence and got up. He was like,

1008
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 2: what the earth were you going? And she was like,

1009
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:16,360
Speaker 2: I'm not interested in a baby throwing a tantrum. Dude.

1010
00:48:16,800 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 2: I love Amy.

1011
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 6: She's amazing.

1012
00:48:18,680 --> 00:48:21,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, like that's not even out of pocket at all.

1013
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 2: That's so good. It is worse with Lisa, uh oh,

1014
00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:29,239
Speaker 2: because Lisa goes personal when she's angry, but when the

1015
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:33,000
Speaker 2: Saba line is crossed, Amy just doesn't care. Lisa once asked,

1016
00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 2: how does it feel to know you wouldn't be here

1017
00:48:35,239 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 2: if our mom was still alive. Amy thought about it

1018
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 2: and said, I would probably be living my best life

1019
00:48:40,160 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 2: in the Bahamas with a rich European prince and no

1020
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 2: brats to bust my balls. So much better.

1021
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 6: Actually, oh Amy. She strikes again.

1022
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 2: Another time, Amy was having a pregnancy scare and LISA'SO, sorry,

1023
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,439
Speaker 2: I was just trying to scare you. And Lisa said

1024
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 2: something like you will never have children of your own,

1025
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,279
Speaker 2: and Amy just said, I hope not I like mo.

1026
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 6: Oh Amy?

1027
00:49:07,719 --> 00:49:12,880
Speaker 2: Oh Amy, Oh? Amy, is this crossing the line? That's crazy?

1028
00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 2: All right, here we go, I'm gonna read it at

1029
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:19,280
Speaker 2: the same time. That's crazy. Yeah, No, that is that insane,

1030
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,759
Speaker 2: absolutely insane. And yeah. Amy will always have the drum

1031
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:26,879
Speaker 2: card of like, I am banging your father literally, hey,

1032
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 2: banging your dad by the way.

1033
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:29,359
Speaker 6: By the way.

1034
00:49:29,680 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 2: Oh, you want to try to tell me that I'll

1035
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 2: never have my.

1036
00:49:31,600 --> 00:49:32,880
Speaker 6: Own children in my life.

1037
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:36,560
Speaker 2: Oh, I guess I'll just have to bang your dad more. Yeah.

1038
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 5: Oh good, I get to bang your dad more.

1039
00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:40,319
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

1040
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:42,479
Speaker 6: Oh my god, oh my god.

1041
00:49:42,600 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 2: So Amy. To be clear, Amy just said, I hope not.

1042
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:48,720
Speaker 2: I like my poo nanny tight, and so does your dad.

1043
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:50,360
Speaker 6: Oh my god.

1044
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:53,520
Speaker 2: It always shocks us when she goes saba, because she

1045
00:49:53,640 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 2: is usually kind, considerate, and patient. The Core four have

1046
00:49:58,120 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 2: discussed all of this in therapy, and Lisa acknowledges she's

1047
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 2: just scared and angry at the idea of Amy replacing Mom,

1048
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:08,040
Speaker 2: though we all point out just how uninterested Amy is

1049
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:10,799
Speaker 2: in doing that. I personally don't feel like she would

1050
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 2: ever replace Mom, and we joke sometimes about calling each

1051
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 2: other mother or slash son when Lisa acts out, there

1052
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:21,720
Speaker 2: are always consequences from Dad. Things are discussed in therapy

1053
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 2: and for a while everything is calm. The therapists suggested

1054
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:27,800
Speaker 2: we add Amy to our sessions once in a while,

1055
00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 2: but Lisa is not open to that yet. Dad is

1056
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:34,320
Speaker 2: also bringing up more often whether Lisa should get individual therapy,

1057
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,759
Speaker 2: but she doesn't want to legit. Lisa and Amy get

1058
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 2: along so well when Lisa isn't behaving like this. Yesterday,

1059
00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:44,040
Speaker 2: the three of us sab Lisa and I. We spent

1060
00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:46,440
Speaker 2: time with our grandparents and cousins and help them with

1061
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:49,359
Speaker 2: the snow, and then grab dinner and came home late.

1062
00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,840
Speaker 2: Dad and Amy were talking about wedding stuff in the

1063
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 2: kitchen and we overheard Dad discussing adoption very loosely, like

1064
00:50:56,080 --> 00:50:57,839
Speaker 2: if Amy would ever be up for it if we

1065
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:02,400
Speaker 2: wanted to at some point as adult. Lisa immediately lost it,

1066
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:05,360
Speaker 2: burst in and started screaming at him about mom, that

1067
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:08,759
Speaker 2: she hates him, that he's only thinking with his wee wi,

1068
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 2: and then turned to Amy, started insulting her, wished that

1069
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:15,760
Speaker 2: she had passed away, and said I will never want

1070
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 2: a bleep like you to be my mom. Amy just

1071
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:21,479
Speaker 2: very calmly said what makes you think I would ever

1072
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 2: choose you to be my daughter? Lisa. You have to stop, Lisa. Yeah,

1073
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:34,440
Speaker 2: Amy is too advanced for you. Lisa. Yeah, you have

1074
00:51:34,680 --> 00:51:37,799
Speaker 2: got to stop. She's right, And you can't even be

1075
00:51:37,840 --> 00:51:40,279
Speaker 2: mad at that because you're like, how dare you want

1076
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 2: to be my mom? And she's like, knock, knock, who's there?

1077
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to be your mom? Yeah? Why would

1078
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 2: I look at you?

1079
00:51:46,440 --> 00:51:46,720
Speaker 6: Yeah?

1080
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:47,000
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1081
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:48,040
Speaker 6: Because I mean I'm sure too.

1082
00:51:48,120 --> 00:51:51,240
Speaker 5: Like when I hear that as an outsider in this situation,

1083
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 5: I get a little worried because I'm like, oh, wait,

1084
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 5: like maybe, like clearly Lisa is going through something crazy

1085
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 5: and she needs support, you know what I mean, that's

1086
00:52:00,560 --> 00:52:01,439
Speaker 5: like the initial thought.

1087
00:52:01,640 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 6: But at the same time, like.

1088
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:07,320
Speaker 5: Hopefully if Opie says that that Amy is like good

1089
00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:09,560
Speaker 5: ninety nine percent of the time and then it's just

1090
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:11,640
Speaker 5: every once in a while, look at these jobs, hopefully

1091
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 5: she already has that sense of support and it's just

1092
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 5: these like these jobs just start there to like shut

1093
00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:17,319
Speaker 5: her down.

1094
00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 2: And what They've been living together for a year now,

1095
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:21,920
Speaker 2: so there does come a point where you deal with

1096
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:25,879
Speaker 2: stuff and then at some point you just lose that filter. Yeah,

1097
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:29,480
Speaker 2: because you're just like, yeah, again, again this is happening,

1098
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:31,800
Speaker 2: and she bursts in and it's like she was probably

1099
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 2: gonna be like, I don't know, like maybe if only

1100
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 2: if they want to, I don't really care to do that.

1101
00:52:36,239 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 2: She couldn't even answer before Lisa's like yeah, and so

1102
00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 2: she's like.

1103
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:43,120
Speaker 3: And she's like, you want to be my mom?

1104
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:46,440
Speaker 2: And she's like, hey, I actually don't want to be

1105
00:52:46,480 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 2: your mom at all. Why would you think I would

1106
00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 2: want to be your mom? Yeah?

1107
00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 5: And maybe that was actually like good to to like, yeah,

1108
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:57,359
Speaker 5: remind you like, this is not We've been trying, all

1109
00:52:57,400 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 5: of us have been trying to tell you this that

1110
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:00,840
Speaker 5: that is not my INTI yeah.

1111
00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 2: And then you know that can make sometimes you just

1112
00:53:03,640 --> 00:53:07,600
Speaker 2: need that like really ice cold water to be like wait, yeah,

1113
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 2: wait what am I doing right now? Yeah? Because I

1114
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 2: just got I assume emotionally eviscerated by that sentence. But

1115
00:53:15,160 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 2: I just said a second ago, I don't want her

1116
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:19,920
Speaker 2: to be my mom, right, So I want her to

1117
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:23,160
Speaker 2: want to be my mom, but but to not be

1118
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 2: my mom. So the fact that she doesn't want to

1119
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 2: be my mom is not hurting me. What does this mean?

1120
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:27,839
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1121
00:53:28,040 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 5: I'm confused hopefully, hopefully that exact thing happens.

1122
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:35,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, hopefully that makes her realize I probably do need

1123
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 2: to talk to an individual. Ray it's about this. Yeah,

1124
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:42,880
Speaker 2: So that one hurt Lisa, like we could see the

1125
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 2: physical recoil.

1126
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:45,280
Speaker 6: Oh Man.

1127
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 2: Dad took her up to her room and they talked

1128
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 2: for a long time. There were raised voices. Then Lisa

1129
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 2: was crying, but I couldn't tell what was being said.

1130
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 2: Amy stayed downstairs talking to us, clarifying the adoption conversation

1131
00:53:56,760 --> 00:53:59,440
Speaker 2: was entirely hypothetical. We asked her more questions and she

1132
00:53:59,520 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 2: was responding slowly and quietly. She didn't answer us when

1133
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 2: we asked about wedding prep or how she was feeling.

1134
00:54:05,239 --> 00:54:07,440
Speaker 2: She was shaking and trying to keep it together. I

1135
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:10,239
Speaker 2: have never seen her like this, Yeah, because she probably knows.

1136
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:13,279
Speaker 2: She also went like just a smidgeon too far with

1137
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:18,040
Speaker 2: that one in front of her future husband, Yeah, because

1138
00:54:18,080 --> 00:54:22,120
Speaker 2: that is his daughter. Yeah, and again Lisa's being like

1139
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:26,080
Speaker 2: a really horrifically annoying. But it's like she's a hurt child,

1140
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 2: right right right, so to go like to really just

1141
00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:33,680
Speaker 2: hit the perfect like gold star like slam dunk response

1142
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:34,000
Speaker 2: on that.

1143
00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 5: Yeah, Like I yeah, it makes sense that there would

1144
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 5: need to be some clarification with Amy and the dad.

1145
00:54:39,960 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then probably also like what we're talking about,

1146
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 2: looping back into ruined the engagement. This might now be

1147
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:48,880
Speaker 2: the beginning of her being like, I don't know if

1148
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 2: I can do this. I don't know if I can

1149
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 2: live in this family with this person who just can't

1150
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:55,640
Speaker 2: just stop.

1151
00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 6: Maybe yeah, but we'll see.

1152
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:01,280
Speaker 2: I have never seen her life this. We were quiet

1153
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:03,640
Speaker 2: for a bit, then Seb told her what she said

1154
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:07,440
Speaker 2: was a very low blow, and she smiled sadly and

1155
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 2: just said maybe. So. When Dad came down, Amy got

1156
00:55:11,239 --> 00:55:15,040
Speaker 2: up in slow motion, put on her coat, gathered some stuff,

1157
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:17,879
Speaker 2: and was out the door in like two minutes. Dad

1158
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 2: was almost crying, trying to get her to stay and talk.

1159
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,719
Speaker 2: Oh wow, it was late snowing, and she was whispering,

1160
00:55:23,920 --> 00:55:26,640
Speaker 2: not tonight, I have to leave, be there for your sons.

1161
00:55:26,880 --> 00:55:29,480
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, over and over, and she started crying and

1162
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:35,400
Speaker 2: she got in her car and left. Oh my gosh, they.

1163
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,960
Speaker 5: Are we learning a little bit more about Amy now,

1164
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:41,520
Speaker 5: because if Amy has like this, this seems I'm I'm

1165
00:55:41,560 --> 00:55:45,240
Speaker 5: no therapist, no psychologist. I took one intro to psychology class.

1166
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:49,480
Speaker 5: But it seems that like she's just avoiding it. Like

1167
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 5: I think she just feels so bad that she just

1168
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,200
Speaker 5: doesn't know how to like stay and fix.

1169
00:55:53,960 --> 00:55:55,040
Speaker 3: It right now.

1170
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 5: Like it feels like with all of her being her

1171
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:03,240
Speaker 5: overly calm reals to tough situations is just like almost

1172
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:04,960
Speaker 5: an avoidant response, you know what I mean.

1173
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 6: And I could be talking out of my booty hole

1174
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:08,040
Speaker 6: right now.

1175
00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 5: But like, but you know what I mean, Like I

1176
00:56:09,920 --> 00:56:12,760
Speaker 5: just now I feel bad for Amy. Now I'm like, Amy, Wait, no, stay,

1177
00:56:12,800 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 5: it's okay, You'll be fine.

1178
00:56:14,440 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 6: Just talk. You don't have to run away, Amy, come back.

1179
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:20,319
Speaker 2: We sat down with Dad. He was a mess. He

1180
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 2: let us know Lisa will be getting individual therapy on

1181
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 2: top of family therapy, and it was none negotiable. All right, good.

1182
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:30,680
Speaker 2: He asked us if we felt we needed individual therapy

1183
00:56:30,719 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 2: as well. Seb said no, and I said that I'm

1184
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 2: not sure right now, and we tried to talk a

1185
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,520
Speaker 2: little bit about what happened. He asked how we're feeling,

1186
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 2: but he was a wreck, and then he started tearing up,

1187
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:43,800
Speaker 2: so we just hugged him and he cried so hard.

1188
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:47,439
Speaker 2: He cried so much. I have not seen my dad

1189
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:50,279
Speaker 2: cry so hard since Mom passed to it. He kept

1190
00:56:50,280 --> 00:56:52,440
Speaker 2: telling us it's okay and he didn't want us to worry,

1191
00:56:52,480 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 2: but he was just crying and I had no words.

1192
00:56:55,040 --> 00:56:57,719
Speaker 2: I just kept saying I'm sorry. And Seb was telling

1193
00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 2: him it will be okay and Amy will be bad

1194
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:03,279
Speaker 2: and we'll all work it out, and he kept saying, no,

1195
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:05,440
Speaker 2: she won't, not this time, she won't.

1196
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:08,719
Speaker 6: No, Oh my god, this is I'm literally, this is

1197
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 6: such a good story. I'm I'm tearing up. I'm scared.

1198
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:13,120
Speaker 6: I want them to work it out.

1199
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:14,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, this needs to happen.

1200
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:15,399
Speaker 6: Yes, it does.

1201
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:16,800
Speaker 2: It should happen.

1202
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:17,840
Speaker 6: Now, that's heartbreaking.

1203
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:19,920
Speaker 2: Amy's perfect, Amy, You're.

1204
00:57:19,720 --> 00:57:22,240
Speaker 6: Perfect, come back, It's okay. Everything will we.

1205
00:57:22,280 --> 00:57:26,479
Speaker 2: Find like, don't worry. Yeah, at least was seventeen. Yes,

1206
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:28,720
Speaker 2: she'll be okay, And to this dad.

1207
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:29,360
Speaker 3: It's okay.

1208
00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:30,800
Speaker 6: You guys can work things out.

1209
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 2: Come on. He then started saying he was sorry and

1210
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 2: asked if we knew he loved us, and then he

1211
00:57:37,200 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 2: asked if he neglected us and if we felt he

1212
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:41,720
Speaker 2: didn't love us enough after Amy moved in. He was

1213
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,439
Speaker 2: a good dad. Oh my god. I wanted to give

1214
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:47,880
Speaker 2: Lisa the old one two in that moment for making

1215
00:57:47,960 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 2: him doubt that even for a second. All as if

1216
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:55,240
Speaker 2: moving on from Mom after almost a decade and landing

1217
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:58,360
Speaker 2: someone he is genuinely happy with and who is a

1218
00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 2: good person is a sin. Wasn't in the house today.

1219
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:03,120
Speaker 2: Dad has red eyes and he looks like he has

1220
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:06,440
Speaker 2: aged ten years. He said, good morning. I asked if

1221
00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:08,520
Speaker 2: Amy came home last night, and he said no, but

1222
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:11,480
Speaker 2: not to worry and that she's safe. He spoke very quietly,

1223
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:14,520
Speaker 2: made us breakfast, and when Lisa came down, he just

1224
00:58:14,640 --> 00:58:17,400
Speaker 2: gave her a look and turned around didn't speak to her.

1225
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:20,840
Speaker 2: She started crying what is going on, saying she's sorry,

1226
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 2: and went to hug him. He stepped back and told

1227
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 2: her I don't want to hug you right now, and

1228
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:27,440
Speaker 2: his voice was just shattered.

1229
00:58:27,520 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 6: Oh my god, and so is Lisa's soul. I can imagine.

1230
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 2: Lisa just lost it and kept crying and apologizing and

1231
00:58:35,160 --> 00:58:37,960
Speaker 2: kept saying she really likes Amy and she wants them

1232
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 2: to get married and for him to be happy. She

1233
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:43,120
Speaker 2: said she loves him and kept asking if he still

1234
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:45,960
Speaker 2: loves her, and Dad said, I will always love you

1235
00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,320
Speaker 2: as my daughter, but I don't love you as Lisa

1236
00:58:49,440 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 2: right now. That's tough. I think that's the harshest thing

1237
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:55,520
Speaker 2: he has ever said to any of us. I didn't

1238
00:58:55,520 --> 00:58:57,320
Speaker 2: think he had it in him. I am glad he

1239
00:58:57,360 --> 00:59:00,120
Speaker 2: said it, and I am happy Lisa kept crying. He

1240
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:03,520
Speaker 2: deserves it. Let's let's let's dial that one back.

1241
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 5: But just a reminder that Op and Lisa our siblings,

1242
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 5: so yeah, just reminder that where it comes from.

1243
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:14,560
Speaker 2: They're all siblings who are teenagers. Yeah, we are back

1244
00:59:14,640 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 2: with our grandparents. Dad said he's trying to get Amy

1245
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 2: to come to the house and talk in person. We

1246
00:59:19,120 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 2: haven't told our grandparents all the details, nor do they

1247
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 2: know all the vile crap that Lisa says to Amy,

1248
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,080
Speaker 2: because I know they will be so disappointed in her.

1249
00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:29,400
Speaker 2: But I hate her right now. She's pretending to read

1250
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,000
Speaker 2: in the corner, but she flips a page every like

1251
00:59:32,120 --> 00:59:34,720
Speaker 2: ten minutes. God, I want to yell at her so bad,

1252
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 2: like tear her a new one and let her have it.

1253
00:59:36,800 --> 00:59:40,160
Speaker 2: I'm practically vibrating if she ruins this for Dad, for

1254
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:43,320
Speaker 2: all of us, Like, oh, I hate her so much

1255
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 2: right now, and that's it. I don't feel better ef her.

1256
00:59:46,480 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 2: There's an update. Oh my god, it's four days later.

1257
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:51,240
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. I didn't expect to get as many

1258
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:53,840
Speaker 2: responses with my previous posts, nor did I expect that

1259
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:56,440
Speaker 2: I would be back here, but it actually really helped.

1260
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:58,240
Speaker 2: I don't have too big of an update yet, but

1261
00:59:58,280 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 2: a few things are happening. Not all of them are positive,

1262
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 2: but I guess at least there is a sort of plan. Okay,

1263
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:08,120
Speaker 2: this is a little rushed, so I'm sorry if it's

1264
01:00:08,120 --> 01:00:08,800
Speaker 2: not formatted.

1265
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:09,000
Speaker 1: Well.

1266
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 2: It was brutal reading so many comments speaking so badly

1267
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:15,680
Speaker 2: about Lisa. Like I know, I said I hated her,

1268
01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 2: and I did it in the moment. Still I still

1269
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 2: do for a lot of this, but she is my

1270
01:00:20,120 --> 01:00:22,840
Speaker 2: sister and I do love her as well, so I

1271
01:00:22,840 --> 01:00:25,120
Speaker 2: think seeing so many people angry at her made me

1272
01:00:25,520 --> 01:00:29,360
Speaker 2: very angry and started defending her. Seb was also upset,

1273
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:32,040
Speaker 2: but I'm writing this alone now. So a few people

1274
01:00:32,080 --> 01:00:33,920
Speaker 2: were telling us to give her some grace, and I

1275
01:00:34,000 --> 01:00:36,480
Speaker 2: really did try, but I was not in any place

1276
01:00:36,520 --> 01:00:38,440
Speaker 2: to even look at her. Seb did talk to her

1277
01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:40,960
Speaker 2: though I was present, but I didn't want to engage.

1278
01:00:41,000 --> 01:00:43,320
Speaker 2: I was mostly just there for him. It went like,

1279
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 2: we are very angry at you, but you're still our sister,

1280
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:48,600
Speaker 2: and we love you and dad too, blah blah blah.

1281
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:50,960
Speaker 2: But you have to stop thinking you can do or

1282
01:00:51,000 --> 01:00:54,360
Speaker 2: say whatever and that will still like you just the

1283
01:00:54,400 --> 01:00:57,000
Speaker 2: same and will always be around. She was saying that

1284
01:00:57,040 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 2: family forever and sticks by everything together no matter what happened,

1285
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:01,760
Speaker 2: which is not true.

1286
01:01:02,240 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 6: Or it might be true, but in a very different

1287
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:05,120
Speaker 6: way than she's thinking.

1288
01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:08,000
Speaker 2: They don't just up and leave. And then he told

1289
01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 2: her that that isn't true and it's actually kind of

1290
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 2: crazy stupid to think your family will just put up

1291
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:15,560
Speaker 2: with you no matter what you do. She was like,

1292
01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 2: you're supposed to stick together against the crap that comes

1293
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 2: our way, and he got angry at that and told

1294
01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:25,360
Speaker 2: her she is the one bringing the crap in the way. Yeah,

1295
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:28,800
Speaker 2: no matter the family relationship, we won't stick together with

1296
01:01:28,960 --> 01:01:33,520
Speaker 2: an intentional crap stirr. So unless there's something else going

1297
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:35,880
Speaker 2: on right now, she is the one in the wrong,

1298
01:01:36,040 --> 01:01:38,040
Speaker 2: so you either have to fess up or fix it.

1299
01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:41,080
Speaker 2: I brought up an aunt that we have a dad's

1300
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:43,400
Speaker 2: first cousin who is not part of the family anymore

1301
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 2: because she was a major gossip and she lied all

1302
01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:48,760
Speaker 2: the time and nobody likes her nobody invites her around.

1303
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 2: Her siblings don't talk to her, they don't have her

1304
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:53,960
Speaker 2: over because sure they're family, but she's always bringing crap

1305
01:01:54,080 --> 01:01:56,920
Speaker 2: and drama in our lives. So she was pushed aside

1306
01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,440
Speaker 2: and we were like, don't be the person we have

1307
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:01,440
Speaker 2: to push us up. But if there's something going on

1308
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 2: with Amy that we don't know, you had to tell us.

1309
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:06,720
Speaker 2: She was saying, there isn't anything that would make sense

1310
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 2: right now. Good. Interesting, I'm glad she didn't just try

1311
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 2: to come up with a fake lie right there. Yeah,

1312
01:02:11,560 --> 01:02:15,000
Speaker 2: that's nice. We kind of discussed Saba and the core

1313
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:18,440
Speaker 2: for and truly we didn't really see some of y'all's

1314
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:21,840
Speaker 2: point on Amy being offensive or creep because a lot

1315
01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:24,880
Speaker 2: of people called us out, me and Seb on also

1316
01:02:24,920 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 2: being horrible to her as well, fueling the fire and

1317
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 2: well that was a slap and we kind of shut

1318
01:02:30,880 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 2: up about it because it was like, sure, being told

1319
01:02:33,720 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 2: your dad f's me is fed up. But you all

1320
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:37,800
Speaker 2: were like, we should have never said f you to

1321
01:02:37,840 --> 01:02:39,800
Speaker 2: her in the first place. And then we me, Seb

1322
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 2: and Lisa realized we have each said it at least twice,

1323
01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,000
Speaker 2: so she has heard it six times at least, and

1324
01:02:46,080 --> 01:02:48,480
Speaker 2: she kept talking to us about it, and we kept

1325
01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:50,880
Speaker 2: using it until that reply of hers, and well it

1326
01:02:50,920 --> 01:02:54,040
Speaker 2: worked because we haven't said it again. So yeah, sad

1327
01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:56,440
Speaker 2: that we sort of have that knowledge slash image in

1328
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 2: our heads now, but also sad that it had to

1329
01:02:59,280 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 2: come to and it's strangers for us to realize it worked. Yeah.

1330
01:03:02,280 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 2: I think I'm glad that you said that, because that's

1331
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:06,560
Speaker 2: exactly what I was gonna say. Yeah, if you guys

1332
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:12,120
Speaker 2: were like twelve, yes, absolutely unbelievably uncool. Yeah, no way,

1333
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 2: y'all are sixteen, she's gonna dish out the disrespect. Get ready,

1334
01:03:16,680 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 2: get ready you can start hearing about it. Yeah, I'm

1335
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:21,120
Speaker 2: gonna throw that one right back in your face.

1336
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, especially at that age. I feel like that's like

1337
01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:24,680
Speaker 6: the age.

1338
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:27,000
Speaker 5: That it's the most effective too, you know what, exactly

1339
01:03:27,080 --> 01:03:29,680
Speaker 5: right exactly, it's like the because you know, it's like

1340
01:03:29,720 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 5: that wouldn't it would?

1341
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:34,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's more like normal, But when you're a teenager,

1342
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:34,400
Speaker 6: it's like.

1343
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 2: Hud be like what when you're like you've.

1344
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:38,400
Speaker 6: Just learned about that stuff?

1345
01:03:38,440 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 2: Really?

1346
01:03:43,120 --> 01:03:44,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly exactly.

1347
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:47,920
Speaker 2: It was really humbling for me and Seb to realize sure,

1348
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:50,080
Speaker 2: this time, Lisa was the one that crossed the line,

1349
01:03:50,120 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 2: and usually it is her that destroys the boundaries. But

1350
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 2: the two of us haven't exactly been great at her either.

1351
01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,640
Speaker 2: I admit I cried a lot reading some of the comments,

1352
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 2: like hard crying because you were very real on how

1353
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:06,440
Speaker 2: crappy I've been to Amy, not just Lisa, like I

1354
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:09,520
Speaker 2: didn't realize it. I think it was just how we

1355
01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:12,680
Speaker 2: sometimes fight with Dad and cousins, and it hadn't registered

1356
01:04:12,720 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 2: how it must have been for Amy, who was always

1357
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:19,040
Speaker 2: in mediator or peacekeeping mode. We went to family therapy

1358
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:21,720
Speaker 2: on Tuesday and found out a few things about Dad

1359
01:04:21,760 --> 01:04:24,240
Speaker 2: and Amy. They had actually known each other for a

1360
01:04:24,240 --> 01:04:27,520
Speaker 2: few months before they started dating, so they met close

1361
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:31,080
Speaker 2: to four years ago via mutual friends. Dad's situation with

1362
01:04:31,160 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 2: Riley was discussed at some point, and he likes Amy's

1363
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:36,600
Speaker 2: perspective and approach, so they started hanging out and then

1364
01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:39,400
Speaker 2: like six months after that, they started dating. They had

1365
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:42,520
Speaker 2: been going to therapy together right before she was introduced

1366
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:46,040
Speaker 2: to us, every Thursday with her, every Tuesday with us.

1367
01:04:46,160 --> 01:04:48,880
Speaker 2: It was Amy's suggestion to help her navigate meeting us.

1368
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 2: We then talked about what the next steps are, but

1369
01:04:51,200 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 2: first what happened was Dad told Lisa again that he

1370
01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:57,800
Speaker 2: does love her and he wants to understand and help,

1371
01:04:57,880 --> 01:05:01,560
Speaker 2: but he won't always like her, and she has to

1372
01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 2: understand this and us too. That he will always love

1373
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:07,360
Speaker 2: us because he's our dad, not out of obligation, but

1374
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:10,080
Speaker 2: because that is where the source of his love stems from.

1375
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 2: But sometimes, as human to human, he doesn't always like

1376
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,560
Speaker 2: us for how we're behaving. He was sad he had

1377
01:05:15,680 --> 01:05:18,400
Speaker 2: said that to her, But if I'm honest, I think

1378
01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:20,960
Speaker 2: he deserved to say it, and she deserved to hear it.

1379
01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:23,800
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's deserved. I think it's more

1380
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:26,320
Speaker 2: like it needed. He needed to say that. She needed

1381
01:05:26,320 --> 01:05:29,400
Speaker 2: to hear that. Yeah, it's not about like justice at

1382
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:29,800
Speaker 2: this point.

1383
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:32,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, deserved makes it sound like it's like a punishment,

1384
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:32,960
Speaker 5: but it's kind of like.

1385
01:05:33,280 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's just is what it is, straight up, Yeah, exactly.

1386
01:05:37,720 --> 01:05:40,120
Speaker 2: We told him we love him and Amy as well,

1387
01:05:40,200 --> 01:05:42,960
Speaker 2: and we're sorry, and me and Seb admitted that we've

1388
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:45,480
Speaker 2: also been pretty bad towards Amy. We kind of worked

1389
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:48,280
Speaker 2: on this. Lisa said she wasn't ready to talk about

1390
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:50,400
Speaker 2: what happened, and she wanted to talk to her own

1391
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 2: therapist first, and her first session is tomorrow, which really

1392
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:56,160
Speaker 2: pissed me off. We've been in therapy as a family

1393
01:05:56,240 --> 01:05:58,920
Speaker 2: for years, but now she'll talk after she gets her

1394
01:05:58,920 --> 01:06:01,080
Speaker 2: own therapist, So what the iff have we been doing

1395
01:06:01,080 --> 01:06:03,960
Speaker 2: here all this time? Anyway, we talked more about Amy

1396
01:06:04,000 --> 01:06:06,680
Speaker 2: and Dad's relationship and me and Sev's relationships, and we

1397
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:11,120
Speaker 2: concluded that we're back hard still because with Riley she

1398
01:06:11,240 --> 01:06:13,240
Speaker 2: was so horrible. We didn't feel it would make a

1399
01:06:13,240 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 2: difference if we were arguing with her because she was

1400
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:17,840
Speaker 2: just bad and we would fight all the time and

1401
01:06:17,880 --> 01:06:20,000
Speaker 2: there was no point because she would just scream back

1402
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:22,480
Speaker 2: and it let nowhere. With Amy, it was kind of

1403
01:06:22,520 --> 01:06:26,680
Speaker 2: working backwards in a quote unquote. We feel safer being

1404
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:31,360
Speaker 2: worse with her because she actually cares situation, like she's

1405
01:06:31,480 --> 01:06:34,520
Speaker 2: acting more like a mother figure than Riley, So she

1406
01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:37,120
Speaker 2: talks it out with us, and even when she pushes

1407
01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:39,160
Speaker 2: the issue to Dad, we still have some kind of

1408
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:42,760
Speaker 2: normal parent slash kid arguing before it gets to that point,

1409
01:06:42,800 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 2: which is why Saba's were just so unexpected and just

1410
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,680
Speaker 2: shut everything down. Because Riley would say stuff like that

1411
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:52,560
Speaker 2: all the time. We didn't realize just how triggering some

1412
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:55,320
Speaker 2: of the stuff we were saying to Amy was because

1413
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:58,160
Speaker 2: Riley was always saying that stuff. So I am not

1414
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:01,680
Speaker 2: exactly sure what that means yet, still processing it. But

1415
01:07:01,800 --> 01:07:05,920
Speaker 2: we apologize to Dad for also being problematic, not just Lisa.

1416
01:07:06,320 --> 01:07:11,000
Speaker 2: Lisa's just more explosive, and she did apologize as well.

1417
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:17,480
Speaker 5: Oh wow, we're making some big, big revelations in therapy

1418
01:07:17,560 --> 01:07:17,919
Speaker 5: right now.

1419
01:07:18,480 --> 01:07:19,720
Speaker 6: I'm very happy about all of this.

1420
01:07:20,160 --> 01:07:24,160
Speaker 2: I am too. Yeah, Riley really messed everything up.

1421
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:26,360
Speaker 6: Yeah, Riley, Come on.

1422
01:07:26,480 --> 01:07:31,800
Speaker 2: Riley, classic, Riley ruining this marriage.

1423
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:33,200
Speaker 3: Come on, Riley.

1424
01:07:33,600 --> 01:07:36,880
Speaker 2: We talked about next steps right now, which is a

1425
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:39,760
Speaker 2: bit complicated. Dad and Amy are both on the lease

1426
01:07:39,840 --> 01:07:42,360
Speaker 2: for the house. But not only is she paying more

1427
01:07:42,400 --> 01:07:45,400
Speaker 2: than him, like sixty forty, but our landlords are close

1428
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:48,120
Speaker 2: to Amy, So if it came down to it, which

1429
01:07:48,160 --> 01:07:50,880
Speaker 2: Dad assured us they are not broken up yet, we

1430
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 2: would be the ones that had to move. I know

1431
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:56,760
Speaker 2: my dad isn't poor. He is a senior software engineer

1432
01:07:56,800 --> 01:08:00,320
Speaker 2: in big tech. But Amy works in finance and is

1433
01:08:00,360 --> 01:08:04,600
Speaker 2: on some nonprofits and has like global income, so she

1434
01:08:04,640 --> 01:08:07,360
Speaker 2: apparently covers more of the expenses, which includes all of

1435
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:08,680
Speaker 2: our hobbies and such.

1436
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:12,040
Speaker 6: She just keeps getting more perfect. Amy's the best.

1437
01:08:12,400 --> 01:08:15,280
Speaker 2: She doesn't want to come home right now. She discussed

1438
01:08:15,280 --> 01:08:17,320
Speaker 2: with her work to go on a business trip for

1439
01:08:17,360 --> 01:08:19,479
Speaker 2: two weeks, or if that doesn't pan out, she'll go

1440
01:08:19,560 --> 01:08:22,360
Speaker 2: to her home country, just to give everyone some space.

1441
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:25,559
Speaker 2: Dad said that scared him too much distance for too long,

1442
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:27,800
Speaker 2: and he offered to pay for an airbnb close by,

1443
01:08:27,920 --> 01:08:31,080
Speaker 2: but he said she said we all need space to

1444
01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:34,599
Speaker 2: recalibrate and that he should focus on us without worrying

1445
01:08:34,640 --> 01:08:36,960
Speaker 2: about bumping into her at the grocery store. Dad and

1446
01:08:37,000 --> 01:08:40,479
Speaker 2: Amy are in low contact but are talking, which he

1447
01:08:40,560 --> 01:08:42,559
Speaker 2: said is good and a good thing to take some

1448
01:08:42,640 --> 01:08:44,640
Speaker 2: time and space. And I could tell this was a

1449
01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 2: bit of bs because he looked broken when saying that.

1450
01:08:47,439 --> 01:08:50,639
Speaker 2: I think he thinks it's over and that he's losing

1451
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:52,920
Speaker 2: hope and is scared she'll realize she doesn't have to

1452
01:08:52,960 --> 01:08:55,719
Speaker 2: live with how we've been treating her, Like you all said.

1453
01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:59,240
Speaker 2: He said, she isn't someone that takes disrespect lightly, which

1454
01:08:59,320 --> 01:09:01,719
Speaker 2: I told him she is the absolute queen of dealing

1455
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 2: with disrespect, given how she has been so patient and

1456
01:09:04,360 --> 01:09:06,639
Speaker 2: kind and careful with us, and he seemed to agree.

1457
01:09:06,680 --> 01:09:08,920
Speaker 2: But I think there's something else going on. There, but

1458
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:12,120
Speaker 2: he won't say anyway. She'll travel for a bit. She

1459
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:14,200
Speaker 2: did tell him to tell us she loves us and

1460
01:09:14,240 --> 01:09:17,000
Speaker 2: she's sorry she is leaving like this. She isn't checking

1461
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:19,280
Speaker 2: messages at the time, and they will meet on the

1462
01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:22,320
Speaker 2: twenty sixth to discuss. I don't think we're gonna get

1463
01:09:22,320 --> 01:09:23,000
Speaker 2: a resolutions.

1464
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:25,200
Speaker 6: I feel like it's on its way, though.

1465
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:27,479
Speaker 5: I don't know if we're gonna hear it in this story,

1466
01:09:27,560 --> 01:09:28,880
Speaker 5: but I think they're getting there.

1467
01:09:29,000 --> 01:09:32,760
Speaker 2: I do think there would be a resolution. I think

1468
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:35,439
Speaker 2: they're gonna take this break and probably I don't think

1469
01:09:35,439 --> 01:09:38,120
Speaker 2: we're gonna get any more updates. Yeah, and I think

1470
01:09:38,120 --> 01:09:40,000
Speaker 2: that would probably be for the best, because it's like,

1471
01:09:40,040 --> 01:09:42,280
Speaker 2: you know, this is again written by the teenagers, and

1472
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:45,080
Speaker 2: it's like, at some point, you know, when she realizes

1473
01:09:45,120 --> 01:09:46,639
Speaker 2: like it's fixed, you're gonna be like, oh, well, I'm

1474
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:48,639
Speaker 2: not gonna just go inform the internet about that. Yeah,

1475
01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:51,559
Speaker 2: I'm not upset anymore. We're on the right track right right.

1476
01:09:52,240 --> 01:09:54,120
Speaker 2: But I feel like after that break, she's gonna come

1477
01:09:54,160 --> 01:09:57,000
Speaker 2: back and she's gonna be like, look, I clearly love

1478
01:09:57,040 --> 01:09:59,439
Speaker 2: all of you, and I do want to marry you.

1479
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:04,080
Speaker 2: This is what has to happen. Yeah, moving forward. Yeah,

1480
01:10:03,400 --> 01:10:09,599
Speaker 2: and if that's not possible, then we'll deal with that reality. Right.

1481
01:10:10,160 --> 01:10:12,960
Speaker 6: Oh, there's just so much love here. Everyone just loves

1482
01:10:13,000 --> 01:10:15,880
Speaker 6: each other so much. It's just so alarm And that's

1483
01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:19,280
Speaker 6: what's so tough about this. Just treat everyone right, guys,

1484
01:10:19,400 --> 01:10:19,920
Speaker 6: that's all.

1485
01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:21,880
Speaker 2: He needs to do. Well. We are coming up to

1486
01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:24,280
Speaker 2: the end of the story. They had a romantic weekend

1487
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:26,800
Speaker 2: planned for the long weekend and we would stay at

1488
01:10:26,800 --> 01:10:30,320
Speaker 2: our grandparents and Amy moved to the reservation to Dad.

1489
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,840
Speaker 2: So we're taking Friday off and the core four will

1490
01:10:33,840 --> 01:10:36,240
Speaker 2: go to a cabin and just chill a bit away

1491
01:10:36,240 --> 01:10:39,880
Speaker 2: from the house. Lisa is sleeping today and tomorrow at

1492
01:10:39,880 --> 01:10:42,960
Speaker 2: her best friend's house her suggestion, and I am also

1493
01:10:43,040 --> 01:10:46,559
Speaker 2: sleeping over tomorrow my cousins, and we leave Friday morning

1494
01:10:46,760 --> 01:10:49,639
Speaker 2: and back Monday night. That's all that has happened for now.

1495
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:52,360
Speaker 2: I don't know what to expect at this time. I

1496
01:10:52,400 --> 01:10:55,400
Speaker 2: am just happy that Lisa will be doing individual therapy

1497
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 2: and that we are at least talking to each other

1498
01:10:58,320 --> 01:11:01,040
Speaker 2: a bit. And that is the end of that story.

1499
01:11:01,240 --> 01:11:03,480
Speaker 6: I loved it. That was beautiful.

1500
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:09,080
Speaker 5: All of the frustrations were based on love for each other,

1501
01:11:09,479 --> 01:11:11,880
Speaker 5: or for a person in the past.

1502
01:11:12,240 --> 01:11:15,040
Speaker 2: There's just so much love here and so much.

1503
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:20,000
Speaker 5: So much meanies, but like but they there was still

1504
01:11:20,040 --> 01:11:21,920
Speaker 5: so much love behind it, you know what I mean.

1505
01:11:22,520 --> 01:11:25,760
Speaker 2: And so much slam dunk, so many slam ducks. And

1506
01:11:25,880 --> 01:11:27,000
Speaker 2: that's the end of this story.