WEBVTT - Parental Problems | Golden Hour

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank

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<v Speaker 1>you so much for joining us again this week, and

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<v Speaker 1>we are so excited to be back. Hey, Kathy, you're

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<v Speaker 1>looking good.

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<v Speaker 2>Thanks, Susan, so are you. How are you doing today? Good?

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<v Speaker 2>Good good good good good. Okay, Well, if you haven't

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<v Speaker 2>done it yet, I know you have, Susan, but the

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<v Speaker 2>rest of you, if you haven't done it, now is

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<v Speaker 1>wish they'd write in so we can say it.

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<v Speaker 2>On their Okay, folks, right in and make sure to

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<v Speaker 2>check out all of our past episodes. We have been

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<v Speaker 2>com slash Golden Hour.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you memorize that one cat? Don't we say that

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<v Speaker 1>a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>I got it all right.

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<v Speaker 1>Now let's get started with our favorite part, the question

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<v Speaker 1>of the day. All right, when do you stop parenting

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<v Speaker 1>your kids?

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<v Speaker 2>Or do you ever?

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<v Speaker 1>For example, does parenting ever really end or does it

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<v Speaker 1>just change over time?

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<v Speaker 2>What do you think? Well, I really don't have time

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<v Speaker 2>to do this podcast today because I have to go

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<v Speaker 2>take care of my adult children. I don't think you

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<v Speaker 2>ever stop parenting. I do think it looks a little

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<v Speaker 2>bit different. I'm more of when my kids come to

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<v Speaker 2>me as an advisor giving them my thoughts. I really

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<v Speaker 2>try so hard not to interject what I think unless

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<v Speaker 2>I'm asked. You know, don't say anything unless you're asked.

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<v Speaker 2>What about you?

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<v Speaker 1>I have changed one hundred thousand percent have changed because

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<v Speaker 1>I'll bite my tongue when they say, you know you should.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought you're raising your family. You do it your way, Kathy,

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<v Speaker 1>I gotta tell you, I don't agree a lot of times.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh sweety, you and I share my two year old granddaughter.

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<v Speaker 2>They're raising her to be a terrorist. That's because she's two,

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<v Speaker 2>that's all. I hope to God you're right. I will

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<v Speaker 2>say I have matured as a parent. I do not

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<v Speaker 2>call my children every night and tell them to brush

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<v Speaker 2>their teeth.

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<v Speaker 1>O God, no, no, or tell them how to keep

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<v Speaker 1>their homes.

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<v Speaker 2>Or clean their rooms or I mean, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I was the kind of parent that I was. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to call myself a helicopter mom, but I

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<v Speaker 2>had and I bet you were the same. I had

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<v Speaker 2>certain rules, like their rooms had to be cleaned, they

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<v Speaker 2>had to do their homework, they had to put their

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<v Speaker 2>clothes away, and so that was parenting when they were younger.

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<v Speaker 2>Now you know, little it's little problems, big kids, big problems. Right,

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<v Speaker 2>So when my kids come to me now, it's it's

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<v Speaker 2>usually a bigger sort of life issue. Does that make sense? Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>it is.

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<v Speaker 1>And the only thing I might still give some advice

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<v Speaker 1>is financial advice. I want to teach them what I

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<v Speaker 1>missed and how important it is to put money away

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<v Speaker 1>and how you know, like my son and my one

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<v Speaker 1>son and my daughter in law. God forbid, I hate

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<v Speaker 1>even saying this out that when they lost their child,

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<v Speaker 1>it was almost six years ago, but they had a

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<v Speaker 1>lawsuit that was settled and they're living very comfortably. They

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<v Speaker 1>decided not to move and they put so much money

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<v Speaker 1>in their house. It looks absolutely beautiful. But and I go, Chris,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm saying half of that should have been a vested mom.

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<v Speaker 1>I have X amount of dollars, I said, no, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 1>With what you had, you better put a lot more.

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<v Speaker 2>They got new cars, and I get it, but I

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<v Speaker 2>mean it's really I think I think raising kids like,

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<v Speaker 2>did you give your kids an allowance? Because when I

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<v Speaker 2>parented my kids, they got I think they started when

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<v Speaker 2>they were maybe nine or ten, and I gave them

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<v Speaker 2>their age in money, so ten they got ten dollars

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<v Speaker 2>a week. Which well, but here's the thing. If they

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to go to the movies with their friend, like,

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<v Speaker 2>they had to learn to budget. And I made them.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, back in those days we took them to

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<v Speaker 2>church every Sunday, they had to put money in their

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<v Speaker 2>money in the collection. Right, that's good. Well, and here

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<v Speaker 2>I say, colleg I just wanted them. But I will

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<v Speaker 2>tell you my kids are not. I mean, they all

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<v Speaker 2>work hard, but I think money is probably as you

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<v Speaker 2>and I've talked, money can be the root of all evil.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh wait, that's another show. But money is tough, I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>and I think our kids have a hard time learning

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<v Speaker 2>those lessons. So parenting like that, I don't think of

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<v Speaker 2>it as parenting. I think of it more like were

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<v Speaker 2>their friends were more than their friends. But we're not

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<v Speaker 2>parenting in the traditional sense of the word. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>telling them what to do and they have to work right.

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<v Speaker 1>When they come to us.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I always do that, but you.

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<v Speaker 1>Can't tell them what to do now they're adults. I

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<v Speaker 1>cannot believe my babies. Kathy turned thirty seven and my

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<v Speaker 1>daughter next month in ten days or.

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<v Speaker 2>She's going to be forty years old. How is that

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<v Speaker 2>even possible? I don't know. My oldest just turned last week,

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<v Speaker 2>turned forty four. So you know, crimea Riverses and I got,

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<v Speaker 2>I got, I can't. I mean I remember being that age.

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<v Speaker 2>But whatever. You know what I'm afraid of, it's not

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<v Speaker 2>part of the question of the day, but what the heck.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm worried about is when we get old,

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<v Speaker 2>which I'm never getting old. Let's just start there. But

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<v Speaker 2>you know, when the tables sort of flip and our

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<v Speaker 2>kids sort of start paring want to do like mom,

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<v Speaker 2>Like my kids already saying, Mom, don't get on that ladder.

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<v Speaker 2>You know you don't need to break another leg. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>that's gonna happen one of these days where I.

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<v Speaker 1>Think it's already begun. That Christ said a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>things to me, Mom, you should.

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<v Speaker 2>Go whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not there yet. Well that's

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<v Speaker 2>the problem, since and you and I are never going

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<v Speaker 2>to be there. You and I we're going to move

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<v Speaker 2>to some great place and raise hell wherever we are,

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<v Speaker 2>they're going to go. I don't care. I'm done eighty eight.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to raise l I don't care. That's about living.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, that's right.

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<v Speaker 1>And you're right our parent. And even with my grandchildren, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't reprimand them as often as I did my

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<v Speaker 1>own children. And I think that's a given because we're grandmoms.

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<v Speaker 1>But I will tell them what's not, what's wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you don't do that. Well, my children are perfect.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't have to tell them. I'll let this slide,

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<v Speaker 2>all right. And I make them money. You know you

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<v Speaker 2>need the money? Yes, And Stella give her money and

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<v Speaker 2>she goes, look, mommy, what is Stella? She's what you're

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<v Speaker 2>gonna do with money? Putting a bank account for Susan, putting.

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<v Speaker 1>And then my older ones, my teenage was like, Mimi,

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<v Speaker 1>can I have a twenty. Back in my day, it

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<v Speaker 1>was a dollar was a lot fifty cents.

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<v Speaker 2>The tooth fairy. Now yeah, I mean you can buy

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<v Speaker 2>a car with what the tooth fairy needs for a bowler.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, let's move into our advice portion of the day.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna be the first one. Okay, okay, all right,

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<v Speaker 2>here we go. This one is from Brianna. She's forty

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<v Speaker 2>two from Seattle. Hi, golden ladies. I've been a loyal

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<v Speaker 2>listener since the very beginning, and now I find myself

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<v Speaker 2>needing some of your wisdom. Well, thanks for listening, Brianna. Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm struggling with my relationship with my mother in law. Oh,

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<v Speaker 2>here we go. To put it simply, she just doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>like me no matter what I do. It feels like

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<v Speaker 2>she's always searching for something to hold against me. While

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<v Speaker 2>this tension hasn't damaged my marriage, thankfully, my partner and

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<v Speaker 2>I are solid, it is starting to wear me down

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<v Speaker 2>right now. She's even refusing to speak to my spouse,

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<v Speaker 2>and I can't help but feel responsible, even though we

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<v Speaker 2>both know the issues aren't really about me. We've tried

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<v Speaker 2>to work on this through therapy, but she refuses to participate,

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<v Speaker 2>take accountability, or get help for her part in the

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<v Speaker 2>dynamic that leaves us feeling stuck. We have a family

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<v Speaker 2>get together and we're in this for the long haul.

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<v Speaker 2>But so is she. My husband loves his mom and

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<v Speaker 2>wants a relationship with her. I'm at a loss for

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<v Speaker 2>how to handle the situation in a way that preserves

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<v Speaker 2>my sanity and keeps the peace. How can we move

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<v Speaker 2>forward when the dynamic feels this toxic and unfixable? Appreciate

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<v Speaker 2>your help and love you too. Wow. Let me just

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<v Speaker 2>tell you. I've never reme met Brianna, but since I

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<v Speaker 2>lived Brihanna's life, let me tell you what's going on.

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<v Speaker 2>Everything is a problem, and everything is Brianna's problem. The

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<v Speaker 2>food's cooked wrong, their vacations are in the wrong place,

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<v Speaker 2>They don't spend enough time with their mother in law.

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<v Speaker 2>She stole her mother in law's son. I mean, how

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<v Speaker 2>long do you want me to go on?

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<v Speaker 1>It?

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<v Speaker 2>Literally is Brianna can do nothing right. That's what the

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<v Speaker 2>deal is. And there's some sort of Oedipus complex going

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<v Speaker 2>on here where you know, the mom just can't let

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<v Speaker 2>oversun So, what's your advice to her? Susan?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, Kathy, I couldn't help but think it's you

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<v Speaker 1>every time. But as you said, it could be anything

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<v Speaker 1>she does. Maybe she just doesn't care for her. And

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<v Speaker 1>that brings up what we talked about a few weeks ago.

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<v Speaker 1>You try only for so long for your family's sake,

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<v Speaker 1>for your husband's sake, And then if it were me,

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<v Speaker 1>I would get to the point, well, well, you know

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<v Speaker 1>you can't respect me. I'm not.

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<v Speaker 2>Here's the thing. You don't want it to become a

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<v Speaker 2>wedge between you and your spouse, right or your partner

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<v Speaker 2>or whoever. You don't. But here's the thing. If if

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<v Speaker 2>the mom, and it's usually the mom, has a jealousy,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, you don't know what's going on in her life.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe her marriage isn't great, maybe she doesn't maybe she

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<v Speaker 2>feels like you should move closer to her. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>you don't know what's going through her head. But what

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<v Speaker 2>you do know and the fact is she doesn't like you.

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<v Speaker 2>And I knew my mother in law she would. She would,

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<v Speaker 2>she would vacillate, she would say, oh, no, I really

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<v Speaker 2>like you, but only when my husband would go to

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<v Speaker 2>her faith, well yes, and when he said, mom, I'll

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<v Speaker 2>never forget Susan. They my mother in law actually like

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<v Speaker 2>me a little bit better off and on than my

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<v Speaker 2>father in law. But again my father in law, they

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<v Speaker 2>just they grew up very different to different culture. They

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<v Speaker 2>grew up in farm towns. I grew up. Ask you

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<v Speaker 2>a question, did you try in the beginning, like I did?

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<v Speaker 2>You have no idea how much I did for my

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<v Speaker 2>mother in law really, and when my father in law died,

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<v Speaker 2>I did even work. But here's what I will say.

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<v Speaker 2>My husband said to his mother and his father one

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<v Speaker 2>time when I got really upset because I had it,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, up to here, and Darryl said, Mom, Dad,

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<v Speaker 2>we've been married whatever it was at the time, we've

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<v Speaker 2>been married thirty five years. Do you think it stood

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<v Speaker 2>the test of time. Can you get on board? Well,

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<v Speaker 2>of course they never could. So my advice to Brianna

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<v Speaker 2>is she may or may not get on board, but

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<v Speaker 2>a don't let it come between you and your husband.

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<v Speaker 2>Be polite when you see her. You know, if you're

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<v Speaker 2>at a birthday party, if your kids, it's your child's

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<v Speaker 2>birthday party, for example, tell her how glad you are

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<v Speaker 2>to see her. You know that it's going to make

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<v Speaker 2>your child because after a while you're not going to

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<v Speaker 2>get no, no, no. But if you say, look, we're so

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<v Speaker 2>glad you're here for Johnny's birthday, Yeah, thank you for coming. God,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you for coming. And all you can do is

0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:13.200
<v Speaker 2>be polite, because being polite never goes out of style.

0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:15.760
<v Speaker 1>I want to go off course just for a second.

0:12:15.800 --> 0:12:18.880
<v Speaker 1>Did you happen to watch The Hunting Wives?

0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:20.040
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't watch it.

0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:23.080
<v Speaker 1>You talk about a mother in law atached to her

0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:24.800
<v Speaker 1>son like it was eery.

0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:28.360
<v Speaker 2>But that's the point. This is not Brionna. I hate

0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:32.439
<v Speaker 2>to say this to you. You are not alone in this.

0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:37.480
<v Speaker 2>I mean, this is a very common issue. Uh, it

0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:41.920
<v Speaker 2>just is, and I don't The only advice I can

0:12:41.960 --> 0:12:45.680
<v Speaker 2>give you is be kind to her. Ultimately your right, Susan,

0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:49.440
<v Speaker 2>I did give up, but but I gave up the

0:12:49.520 --> 0:12:52.800
<v Speaker 2>last two years of her life. I mean, I just

0:12:53.240 --> 0:12:58.400
<v Speaker 2>pray for patience for her. You know, I think that

0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:01.040
<v Speaker 2>the therapy, by the way, is a good idea. And

0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:04.840
<v Speaker 2>even if she refuses to go to therapy, Brianna, you

0:13:04.880 --> 0:13:09.760
<v Speaker 2>go go with your partner because for your relationship, because

0:13:09.800 --> 0:13:13.880
<v Speaker 2>at the end of the day, your child, your relationship

0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:16.800
<v Speaker 2>with your spouse or partner is the most important.

0:13:16.360 --> 0:13:19.360
<v Speaker 1>One and it's her family. Now you know, right, that's

0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:21.200
<v Speaker 1>his family, but it's her family.

0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:23.440
<v Speaker 2>It's hurtful, though, it's hurtful.

0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:25.480
<v Speaker 1>Oh gosh, I know, and you know what, Thank you

0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:26.960
<v Speaker 1>Brianna for writing into us.

0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:28.240
<v Speaker 2>And we're really curious.

0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:31.520
<v Speaker 1>If you get a milestone and succeed, please tell us

0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:32.400
<v Speaker 1>that we could tell the world.

0:13:33.040 --> 0:13:35.720
<v Speaker 2>Yes, let us know, let us know, and you know,

0:13:36.280 --> 0:13:38.400
<v Speaker 2>just keep trying to do those family events as much

0:13:38.440 --> 0:13:40.640
<v Speaker 2>as you can. And by the way, if none of

0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.680
<v Speaker 2>that works, take a swig of vodka before she comes.

0:13:43.720 --> 0:13:49.000
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's move on. This one is from Melissa and

0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:54.240
<v Speaker 1>she is sixty four years young from Oxner. Hi, Kathy,

0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:57.160
<v Speaker 1>and Susan. I have a question for you. I first

0:13:57.280 --> 0:14:01.080
<v Speaker 1>noticed this in my thirties and now again in my sixties.

0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:05.360
<v Speaker 1>What do we do when the roles reverse and we

0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:08.120
<v Speaker 1>find ourselves parenting our parents?

0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:09.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh my goodness.

0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.840
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm in my sixties and my dad is in

0:14:11.920 --> 0:14:12.800
<v Speaker 1>his nineties.

0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:14.440
<v Speaker 2>God bless him. Is he single?

0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:20.080
<v Speaker 1>He's had several falls recently, but he refuses to use

0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:25.000
<v Speaker 1>a walker and absolutely won't consider moving into an independent

0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:29.240
<v Speaker 1>living facility, even though it would give him community care

0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:33.480
<v Speaker 1>and resources. I've flown across the country multiple times to

0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:37.480
<v Speaker 1>visit facilities with him, and they're truly wonderful, but he

0:14:37.600 --> 0:14:41.520
<v Speaker 1>won't budge. It feels like I'm dealing with a defiant,

0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:45.400
<v Speaker 1>stubborn toddler, and I'm the one who has to make

0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:49.600
<v Speaker 1>the adult decisions. I'm constantly worried about him, and I

0:14:49.720 --> 0:14:52.400
<v Speaker 1>don't know how to convince him that it is time.

0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:53.520
<v Speaker 2>How do you.

0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:58.040
<v Speaker 1>Navigate this stage of life with love without losing your sanity?

0:14:58.320 --> 0:15:01.120
<v Speaker 1>I adore you both, and I love podcast Melissa.

0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.080
<v Speaker 2>Thank you all. Can I just pick it? I can

0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:07.720
<v Speaker 2>give this answer. She's not gonna like it, Melissa, but

0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.480
<v Speaker 2>I dealt with this with my stepmom, who died a

0:15:11.560 --> 0:15:15.000
<v Speaker 2>few years ago at ninety six. I feel your pain.

0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:19.040
<v Speaker 2>But here's the simple answer, Melissa. Unless you have him

0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:23.160
<v Speaker 2>declared incompetent, which he doesn't sound like he is, there's

0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:26.520
<v Speaker 2>nothing you can do but do what you're doing, because

0:15:26.560 --> 0:15:31.360
<v Speaker 2>he has the right to wither away fall every day

0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:36.040
<v Speaker 2>unless unless he breaks a bone and a doctor says

0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:38.760
<v Speaker 2>you cannot go home unless you have twenty four hour care,

0:15:39.400 --> 0:15:41.720
<v Speaker 2>then you're going to get your wish and he'll be

0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:45.880
<v Speaker 2>in long term care. But other than that, Unfortunately, we

0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:49.480
<v Speaker 2>as senior citizens, have the right to make our own choices.

0:15:49.720 --> 0:15:53.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes, and I couldn't agree with you more And unfortunately,

0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:56.160
<v Speaker 1>and this might sound harsh, but if that's the way

0:15:56.200 --> 0:15:58.440
<v Speaker 1>he chooses to go out, let it.

0:15:58.800 --> 0:15:59.240
<v Speaker 2>Let it be.

0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:02.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know, you cannot control that. But I get

0:16:02.760 --> 0:16:05.760
<v Speaker 1>what she's saying. How we were parents and that we're parenting.

0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:07.640
<v Speaker 2>Are That's what I said earlier, right, we were talking

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:10.320
<v Speaker 2>about then the question of the day. It's so hard

0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:14.400
<v Speaker 2>and Melissa to watch a vibrant person, your dad, who

0:16:14.440 --> 0:16:17.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, carried you around, put you on his shoulders,

0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:20.040
<v Speaker 2>and now is having trouble standing. I don't mean to

0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:24.080
<v Speaker 2>sound insensitive. It's awful, but the fact as we get older.

0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:26.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and my kids we had a conversation the other

0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:30.920
<v Speaker 1>day on their birthday dinner. They said, listen, don't put

0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:33.960
<v Speaker 1>me away. There'll be no inheritance left. That costs a

0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:36.080
<v Speaker 1>lot of money. Just give me a cocktail, make.

0:16:36.000 --> 0:16:38.120
<v Speaker 2>Me go to sleep, mom, Mom, we'll go to jail.

0:16:39.400 --> 0:16:41.200
<v Speaker 1>I was like, no, seriously, I don't.

0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:42.840
<v Speaker 2>That's not my plan.

0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:46.200
<v Speaker 1>Some people plan for that. What she's talking about is

0:16:46.240 --> 0:16:50.320
<v Speaker 1>not an old folks home, it's independent living. It's just

0:16:50.440 --> 0:16:53.880
<v Speaker 1>another place that you can still be you and do

0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:56.720
<v Speaker 1>what you want. You could still have a car. You know,

0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:01.280
<v Speaker 1>he's not letting go of his home, so you know.

0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:05.400
<v Speaker 2>What, I don't. I have to be honest, Susan. I've

0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:08.240
<v Speaker 2>already told my kids there's going to be one dollar

0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:13.000
<v Speaker 2>and ninety six cents left checking no, because I'm not

0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:15.840
<v Speaker 2>going to go in. And my kids are always joking saying, oh,

0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:17.600
<v Speaker 2>come on, mom, you'll be the life of the party.

0:17:17.840 --> 0:17:20.440
<v Speaker 2>You'll be You'll be decorating for all the parties, You'll

0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.639
<v Speaker 2>be doing the dancing. I'm like, nope. You know what

0:17:22.840 --> 0:17:23.600
<v Speaker 2>my fears, Kathy.

0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.920
<v Speaker 1>They're all old people in there, and I'm not old.

0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:30.480
<v Speaker 2>They don't think they're old either, Susan. They're want to

0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:34.359
<v Speaker 2>surround myself with younger people and keep on moving. But

0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.600
<v Speaker 2>that's why you're paying Melissa. Well, let us know, Melissa.

0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.560
<v Speaker 2>But and I know, I know it's hard. It's just

0:17:39.600 --> 0:17:42.199
<v Speaker 2>one of those things. The way you navigate it is

0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:44.359
<v Speaker 2>you love him, you check on him, you do what

0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:46.159
<v Speaker 2>you can do, and then you have to let it

0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:48.399
<v Speaker 2>go and and just you know, let.

0:17:48.480 --> 0:17:51.320
<v Speaker 1>They don't want him to resent her for constantly trying

0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.320
<v Speaker 1>to move him. You know, keep that relationship healthy with

0:17:54.359 --> 0:17:56.800
<v Speaker 1>your dad. I know you think it's better, and it

0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:57.520
<v Speaker 1>probably is.

0:17:57.600 --> 0:18:01.520
<v Speaker 2>But if that's the way he chooses, that's what. Yeah. Also,

0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:04.880
<v Speaker 2>I would say she's flown across the country multiple times.

0:18:05.320 --> 0:18:08.840
<v Speaker 2>Think of the miles you're stacking up, Molesnia so you

0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:11.120
<v Speaker 2>can be able to take a vacation. I mean, look

0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:16.639
<v Speaker 2>for the positive in this issue. Moving let us know that.

0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:27.560
<v Speaker 2>Good luck. Okay, This one is from Chris. Hi. My

0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:30.280
<v Speaker 2>name is Chris. My wife and I have been married

0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:33.040
<v Speaker 2>for ten years. We have three kids, and overall we

0:18:33.119 --> 0:18:37.320
<v Speaker 2>share a really wonderful marriage. The only ongoing challenge we

0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.920
<v Speaker 2>face is her parents. She's incredibly close to them, which

0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.720
<v Speaker 2>I love, but at times it feels like the boundaries

0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.480
<v Speaker 2>between our marriage and her family aren't very clear. They

0:18:47.560 --> 0:18:50.680
<v Speaker 2>often stop by unannounced, and since my wife gave them

0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:53.720
<v Speaker 2>keys to our house, I sometimes come home to find

0:18:53.720 --> 0:18:56.359
<v Speaker 2>them just hanging out. Once I even came home to

0:18:56.440 --> 0:18:59.880
<v Speaker 2>my mother in law opening my mail on a top

0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:03.720
<v Speaker 2>that when my wife was pregnant, she told her parents

0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:07.440
<v Speaker 2>before she told me, and that really stung. I love

0:19:07.480 --> 0:19:10.120
<v Speaker 2>how much she values her relationship with them, but I

0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:12.600
<v Speaker 2>also want to feel like i'm the number one person

0:19:12.640 --> 0:19:14.880
<v Speaker 2>in her life. Do you have any advice on how

0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:19.360
<v Speaker 2>to set healthier boundaries without damaging their closeness? Oh? Hell

0:19:19.440 --> 0:19:20.920
<v Speaker 2>yeah I do. Oh God.

0:19:21.440 --> 0:19:24.440
<v Speaker 1>First of all, you're not going to damage their closeness.

0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:29.160
<v Speaker 1>They are close, but that's your house, and you kindly

0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:33.360
<v Speaker 1>and respectfully ask your in laws let me know when

0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:36.520
<v Speaker 1>you're coming. I could be coming down the stairs in

0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:39.480
<v Speaker 1>a towel or naked for that matter. I can't have

0:19:39.640 --> 0:19:41.560
<v Speaker 1>you walking in unexpected.

0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:45.560
<v Speaker 2>I think I would handle it a little bit differently, shocker,

0:19:46.240 --> 0:19:52.040
<v Speaker 2>I would. I think I would talk to my wife

0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:56.400
<v Speaker 2>or my case, my first, and but I would. I would.

0:19:56.640 --> 0:19:59.120
<v Speaker 2>I would give the positive first. You know, I love

0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:01.320
<v Speaker 2>how close you are with parents. I love having them

0:20:01.359 --> 0:20:04.239
<v Speaker 2>so close to us. But I am struggling and it

0:20:04.320 --> 0:20:08.280
<v Speaker 2>doesn't work for me. And I would say to her,

0:20:09.119 --> 0:20:12.560
<v Speaker 2>if I were you, Chris, I would say, it's very

0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:16.320
<v Speaker 2>hurtful to me that you know you tell your parents

0:20:16.440 --> 0:20:20.000
<v Speaker 2>things before me. We are a marriage, we have a bond.

0:20:20.160 --> 0:20:22.840
<v Speaker 2>I love that you're close to their family, but there's

0:20:22.840 --> 0:20:25.600
<v Speaker 2>some changes that need to be made, and that's called

0:20:25.760 --> 0:20:33.000
<v Speaker 2>establishing healthy boundaries. So the first boundary would be that communication.

0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:35.399
<v Speaker 2>Like we always say, right, but I'm saying. The first

0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:37.680
<v Speaker 2>boundary that Chris, that you're gonna have to set because

0:20:37.680 --> 0:20:41.160
<v Speaker 2>your wife isn't going to do it, is they must

0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:45.240
<v Speaker 2>call before coming, and that your wife must talk to

0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:47.520
<v Speaker 2>you before she has them over, so that you're not

0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:50.200
<v Speaker 2>coming home when you're tired, you just want to put

0:20:50.240 --> 0:20:52.480
<v Speaker 2>your feet up, and you found the table set for

0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:54.960
<v Speaker 2>four and you're in laws with.

0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:57.359
<v Speaker 1>Him walking and opening his mail.

0:20:58.600 --> 0:21:01.359
<v Speaker 2>Excuse me, but I would say that to the wife

0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:04.439
<v Speaker 2>if you can't see, if I were Chris, if you

0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:09.280
<v Speaker 2>cannot see that this is wrong, so I am, I

0:21:09.600 --> 0:21:12.119
<v Speaker 2>would say, I'm going to talk to your parents about

0:21:12.200 --> 0:21:14.800
<v Speaker 2>opening my mail. I'm going to talk to them about

0:21:14.800 --> 0:21:16.720
<v Speaker 2>these things. But I want you to work with me

0:21:16.840 --> 0:21:20.160
<v Speaker 2>because we're a team. In other words, he asked, Chris,

0:21:20.160 --> 0:21:21.760
<v Speaker 2>you have to have buy in from your wife.

0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:25.240
<v Speaker 1>She's obviously blind to it because she's so used to

0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:29.359
<v Speaker 1>her parents and being that comfortable. Maybe her parents opened

0:21:29.400 --> 0:21:29.800
<v Speaker 1>her mail.

0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:33.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, but that's a big taboo. That is huge,

0:21:33.119 --> 0:21:33.640
<v Speaker 2>and you're right.

0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:37.400
<v Speaker 1>Talk to your wife first and so she understands where

0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:40.920
<v Speaker 1>you're coming from, and do it with tons of respect.

0:21:41.000 --> 0:21:42.719
<v Speaker 1>Tell them how much you love them, and that at

0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:44.280
<v Speaker 1>they're welcome there anytime.

0:21:44.560 --> 0:21:48.160
<v Speaker 2>However, no, no, no, you can't say you're welcome anytime.

0:21:48.680 --> 0:21:53.040
<v Speaker 2>We love seeing you, but please do not come any

0:21:53.160 --> 0:21:55.800
<v Speaker 2>longer unannounced, And you know what, Christy might get their

0:21:55.800 --> 0:21:58.360
<v Speaker 2>feelings hurt, you know what.

0:21:59.240 --> 0:22:00.880
<v Speaker 1>And hug them and say, I'm not trying to hurt

0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:03.159
<v Speaker 1>your feelings, babe. You can come anytime you want, just

0:22:03.280 --> 0:22:04.480
<v Speaker 1>let me know first.

0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:07.760
<v Speaker 2>Because Susan I may hear me. That's not what he

0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:11.800
<v Speaker 2>wants to say, because he may not want them there anytime.

0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:14.160
<v Speaker 2>In other words, play this out with me. I called

0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:16.760
<v Speaker 2>and go hey, Chris, you know, hey, Susie whatever her

0:22:16.840 --> 0:22:19.240
<v Speaker 2>name is, we'll be over in five minutes. And then

0:22:19.320 --> 0:22:21.879
<v Speaker 2>Chris is like, no, I want to sit in my

0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:26.360
<v Speaker 2>skivvies and chug beers tonight. I don't want your parents here.

0:22:26.680 --> 0:22:30.320
<v Speaker 1>But he's given them. She's they're announcing that they're coming

0:22:30.359 --> 0:22:33.960
<v Speaker 1>in five minutes, and you instantly say it's not a

0:22:33.960 --> 0:22:36.520
<v Speaker 1>good times that would be his.

0:22:37.320 --> 0:22:40.879
<v Speaker 2>So the boundaries are you wait for an invitations, You

0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:44.119
<v Speaker 2>wait for an invitation, you never open my mail, and

0:22:44.119 --> 0:22:46.200
<v Speaker 2>they're going to be hurt, Chris. But you got to

0:22:46.240 --> 0:22:48.360
<v Speaker 2>get buy in from your wife because you guys are

0:22:48.400 --> 0:22:51.760
<v Speaker 2>a team. All these questions today sort of relate have

0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:57.240
<v Speaker 2>similar underline theme, which is whether you're married, partners, whatever,

0:22:57.520 --> 0:23:00.400
<v Speaker 2>you're together for each other and you have to come

0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:01.680
<v Speaker 2>first with each other.

0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:04.399
<v Speaker 1>Chris, you love your wife, obviously, you have a great,

0:23:04.440 --> 0:23:07.720
<v Speaker 1>solid marriage, so you do need to get her to

0:23:07.960 --> 0:23:11.440
<v Speaker 1>understand where you're coming from, what it looks like from

0:23:11.480 --> 0:23:14.080
<v Speaker 1>your point of view. And once she gets that, I'm

0:23:14.200 --> 0:23:16.080
<v Speaker 1>sure it's going to work out.

0:23:16.320 --> 0:23:21.360
<v Speaker 2>But listen, let us know, impress it and be kind. Yes,

0:23:21.560 --> 0:23:24.040
<v Speaker 2>And Chris, if your in laws are listening and there's

0:23:24.080 --> 0:23:25.760
<v Speaker 2>any big checks in the mail, send them to me.

0:23:25.840 --> 0:23:33.280
<v Speaker 2>We'll split it all right, let's get it's game was well, Kathy?

0:23:33.320 --> 0:23:34.160
<v Speaker 2>How about today? Though?

0:23:34.280 --> 0:23:38.040
<v Speaker 1>All three of them was about parenting or us becoming

0:23:38.119 --> 0:23:42.359
<v Speaker 1>parents to our parents and in law issues. And I

0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:44.840
<v Speaker 1>can't tell you there's probably millions of people in the

0:23:44.840 --> 0:23:45.960
<v Speaker 1>world that deal with this.

0:23:46.080 --> 0:23:49.879
<v Speaker 2>It's so sad, I know. And this is why the

0:23:49.960 --> 0:23:52.920
<v Speaker 2>game we should be playing today is drink or dare

0:23:53.080 --> 0:23:55.200
<v Speaker 2>because that topic.

0:23:58.560 --> 0:24:02.119
<v Speaker 1>We're going to play around them icky or picky or

0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:06.840
<v Speaker 1>both about parenting and dating. We'll switch off reading the

0:24:06.960 --> 0:24:10.119
<v Speaker 1>ick and we'll say if we agree or if we

0:24:10.200 --> 0:24:12.760
<v Speaker 1>think it's just picky, I'll start us off. But wait,

0:24:12.800 --> 0:24:21.199
<v Speaker 1>didn't we add another word? Or okay, his parents and

0:24:21.440 --> 0:24:24.600
<v Speaker 1>or kids pop in unannounced.

0:24:25.640 --> 0:24:30.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm telling you that's new to me. I say, Picky, pick,

0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:35.080
<v Speaker 2>why do we just talked about the question? I know?

0:24:35.520 --> 0:24:39.120
<v Speaker 1>And you think it's never bothered me? And if they

0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:41.399
<v Speaker 1>walk in on me doing something they don't approve of,

0:24:41.680 --> 0:24:42.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh well.

0:24:44.320 --> 0:24:47.040
<v Speaker 2>Wow, okay, Well I thought I thought we were on

0:24:47.080 --> 0:24:49.560
<v Speaker 2>the same page that he really had to talk to us. Well,

0:24:50.600 --> 0:24:52.120
<v Speaker 2>but you're saying you wouldn't care.

0:24:53.320 --> 0:24:55.160
<v Speaker 1>I mean unless it got monotonous.

0:24:55.280 --> 0:24:56.919
<v Speaker 2>I mean to the point where yo.

0:24:57.240 --> 0:24:59.880
<v Speaker 1>But for me, I am who I am. And if

0:24:59.880 --> 0:25:01.520
<v Speaker 1>you you come in and you're not going to be

0:25:01.600 --> 0:25:04.720
<v Speaker 1>happy with whatever it is I might be doing, or

0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:07.840
<v Speaker 1>hell I'm dressed or whatever, then maybe you'll think twice

0:25:07.880 --> 0:25:08.440
<v Speaker 1>before you do it.

0:25:08.480 --> 0:25:11.000
<v Speaker 2>Agin Oh Susan, Okay, well, we can't belabor this, but

0:25:11.080 --> 0:25:13.679
<v Speaker 2>I'm just telling you. If my husband and I are

0:25:13.800 --> 0:25:16.560
<v Speaker 2>sitting down, I forgot what that feels like. But if

0:25:16.600 --> 0:25:20.040
<v Speaker 2>we're just sitting down watching a movie with popcorn and

0:25:20.200 --> 0:25:24.000
<v Speaker 2>my in laws popped in or my grown children popping in,

0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:24.960
<v Speaker 2>I would.

0:25:24.880 --> 0:25:27.560
<v Speaker 1>Say children can come popping in.

0:25:28.400 --> 0:25:33.600
<v Speaker 2>I never pop into my children's home. I always call first, always,

0:25:34.280 --> 0:25:36.600
<v Speaker 2>and I, by the way, by the way, I have

0:25:36.720 --> 0:25:40.720
<v Speaker 2>key to my children's home. And I never ever walk

0:25:40.760 --> 0:25:45.320
<v Speaker 2>in unannounced. And by that that's how someone still walks announced.

0:25:45.680 --> 0:25:48.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh god, all right, we're moving on here. Here's the

0:25:48.320 --> 0:25:52.679
<v Speaker 2>next one. Oh, his adult kids live with him. To me,

0:25:53.320 --> 0:25:59.560
<v Speaker 2>that all depends in good situation. The situation I can't answer, icky, picky,

0:25:59.680 --> 0:26:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Or it might be I might have a big heart

0:26:01.920 --> 0:26:04.040
<v Speaker 2>on my sleeve for the child. It just all depends

0:26:04.080 --> 0:26:06.320
<v Speaker 2>on his situation. They could be going through something.

0:26:06.359 --> 0:26:09.720
<v Speaker 1>But if it's one that they never moved out, yeah,

0:26:09.960 --> 0:26:11.640
<v Speaker 1>that would definitely be an ick.

0:26:12.520 --> 0:26:14.520
<v Speaker 2>That would be an Oh my goodness.

0:26:14.200 --> 0:26:16.400
<v Speaker 1>Wait to hear the next one. He gives his adult

0:26:16.680 --> 0:26:18.280
<v Speaker 1>kids an allowance.

0:26:20.200 --> 0:26:25.320
<v Speaker 2>Do you see my face? Susan secret ballot?

0:26:26.920 --> 0:26:28.600
<v Speaker 1>If you want to give your kids money, give them

0:26:28.600 --> 0:26:30.720
<v Speaker 1>one lump sum and say you go, we're done here.

0:26:31.119 --> 0:26:35.879
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And that's that's just okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry.

0:26:35.960 --> 0:26:38.480
<v Speaker 2>I can't even say this from the straight. Oh my god.

0:26:39.000 --> 0:26:48.000
<v Speaker 2>He went with his kids on their honeymoon. Ew Listen,

0:26:48.359 --> 0:26:50.360
<v Speaker 2>you know what. While he's on the honeymoon with them,

0:26:50.400 --> 0:26:53.000
<v Speaker 2>you know where I am in the lawyer's office filing

0:26:53.040 --> 0:26:56.359
<v Speaker 2>for divorce. Oh my god, it does, all right.

0:26:56.440 --> 0:27:00.560
<v Speaker 1>A guy who wants to get matching couple's tattoos with you?

0:27:03.560 --> 0:27:08.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, if uh, well it depends if if I'm tattoos,

0:27:08.440 --> 0:27:11.560
<v Speaker 2>well that I don't either. But if I did, it's

0:27:11.600 --> 0:27:13.679
<v Speaker 2>a sweet thing. It's sweet thing. I don't think it's

0:27:13.720 --> 0:27:16.800
<v Speaker 2>taking picky. Yeah, maybe that's just picky. Yeah, okay, we'll

0:27:16.800 --> 0:27:20.920
<v Speaker 2>go with that. All right. He's really into he's really

0:27:20.960 --> 0:27:26.000
<v Speaker 2>into baby talking us little baby voices. I don't know

0:27:26.040 --> 0:27:28.040
<v Speaker 2>what I would do. I probably cracked up in a space.

0:27:28.080 --> 0:27:29.200
<v Speaker 2>What the hell are you doing?

0:27:30.840 --> 0:27:35.119
<v Speaker 1>I mean, you know that is a picky because maybe

0:27:35.240 --> 0:27:36.320
<v Speaker 1>some women turned.

0:27:37.880 --> 0:27:40.359
<v Speaker 2>I mean like if he says, look, sweetie pie, I

0:27:40.520 --> 0:27:42.760
<v Speaker 2>worn't the Jaguar dealer, and I'm gonna buy you that

0:27:43.000 --> 0:27:47.360
<v Speaker 2>pear exactly. I'm gonna give a baby talk right back. Perfect,

0:27:47.480 --> 0:27:48.520
<v Speaker 2>let's go. Okay.

0:27:48.720 --> 0:27:52.800
<v Speaker 1>Some who sends someone who sends a good morning and

0:27:52.920 --> 0:27:55.640
<v Speaker 1>a good night text every single day?

0:27:55.880 --> 0:28:00.920
<v Speaker 2>I love I love it. I love it. Please, we're moving.

0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:04.879
<v Speaker 2>I think it should okay. Uh.

0:28:05.119 --> 0:28:08.119
<v Speaker 1>Couples who over wait, wait, you didn't say anything.

0:28:08.200 --> 0:28:10.800
<v Speaker 2>What's your choice there? You don't like it? I think

0:28:10.800 --> 0:28:14.840
<v Speaker 2>it's I think it's picky. I mean, I listen, I

0:28:14.880 --> 0:28:18.240
<v Speaker 2>think anything. If it's rote, if every day I texted

0:28:18.240 --> 0:28:20.800
<v Speaker 2>you Susan said good morning, and every day I text

0:28:20.840 --> 0:28:24.520
<v Speaker 2>you said good night, it's like, you know, it would lose.

0:28:24.560 --> 0:28:26.240
<v Speaker 1>You're not my boyfriend, though.

0:28:27.040 --> 0:28:32.000
<v Speaker 2>And thankfully I'm not. I'm just saying. It doesn't say

0:28:31.480 --> 0:28:34.320
<v Speaker 2>and bother you like, no, no, no, it doesn't say

0:28:34.440 --> 0:28:37.119
<v Speaker 2>a boyfriend. It says someone who sends a good morning.

0:28:38.120 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 2>Assume all right, great, guess what somebody you.

0:28:41.840 --> 0:28:44.240
<v Speaker 1>Were dating, Kathy and they sent you a good morning

0:28:44.280 --> 0:28:47.160
<v Speaker 1>every morning, I know, or a good night or sleep well,

0:28:47.440 --> 0:28:48.640
<v Speaker 1>that would be.

0:28:49.040 --> 0:28:51.680
<v Speaker 2>It'd be fine if I were in a serious relationship.

0:28:51.720 --> 0:28:53.800
<v Speaker 2>But if it's just a guy I'm dating, no, I

0:28:53.840 --> 0:28:57.480
<v Speaker 2>don't want to hear from you every day. Okay. Couples

0:28:57.480 --> 0:29:02.200
<v Speaker 2>who overshare on social media share fights, lots of PDA,

0:29:02.560 --> 0:29:05.600
<v Speaker 2>which is public displays of affection, et cetera.

0:29:05.680 --> 0:29:11.040
<v Speaker 1>What do you think, ikey, I wouldn't share a fight

0:29:11.280 --> 0:29:13.160
<v Speaker 1>on social media, that would.

0:29:13.600 --> 0:29:16.600
<v Speaker 2>I think it's I I think I just think that

0:29:16.680 --> 0:29:19.240
<v Speaker 2>we are sharing too much on social media.

0:29:19.720 --> 0:29:24.520
<v Speaker 1>Sleeping in separate bedrooms from your partner only be as

0:29:24.600 --> 0:29:25.920
<v Speaker 1>the flu or that.

0:29:26.000 --> 0:29:29.240
<v Speaker 2>Snoring is just beyond like that.

0:29:29.240 --> 0:29:33.320
<v Speaker 1>That depends, no, because as people age, I know a

0:29:33.360 --> 0:29:36.000
<v Speaker 1>lot of people that have their own rooms now like

0:29:36.840 --> 0:29:37.640
<v Speaker 1>older people.

0:29:37.680 --> 0:29:42.440
<v Speaker 2>But a snoring thing. No, I mean, obviously I'm my

0:29:42.480 --> 0:29:45.040
<v Speaker 2>own bedroom right now, but I could see it if

0:29:45.040 --> 0:29:47.560
<v Speaker 2>they were sick or on the occasional night if I

0:29:47.560 --> 0:29:49.400
<v Speaker 2>had to get up really early or something like that.

0:29:49.440 --> 0:29:52.280
<v Speaker 2>But to maintain a separate bedroom, I like to put

0:29:52.320 --> 0:29:54.000
<v Speaker 2>my cold feet on their back to warm up in

0:29:54.040 --> 0:29:54.320
<v Speaker 2>the winter.

0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:57.560
<v Speaker 1>That would be, I guess, a picky one. That depends

0:29:57.560 --> 0:29:58.720
<v Speaker 1>on the individual. I don't know.

0:29:58.920 --> 0:30:01.640
<v Speaker 2>Ye all right wants to wear matching out.

0:30:02.640 --> 0:30:10.800
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that is just icky, that's just hysterical. I know, Fred,

0:30:10.840 --> 0:30:13.440
<v Speaker 1>when we're going out dancing, all the darling, what color

0:30:13.480 --> 0:30:14.080
<v Speaker 1>are you wearing?

0:30:14.560 --> 0:30:17.400
<v Speaker 2>Because he wants to blend with its so cute. But

0:30:17.920 --> 0:30:21.920
<v Speaker 2>can I just tell you on Paradise, all the couples,

0:30:21.960 --> 0:30:26.560
<v Speaker 2>that is so funny you said that they of course, no, no, no,

0:30:26.680 --> 0:30:28.760
<v Speaker 2>I was slow to the game. Like they'd come out

0:30:28.800 --> 0:30:31.720
<v Speaker 2>and you know they Jess would have on a blue

0:30:31.800 --> 0:30:35.680
<v Speaker 2>dress and and and Spencer would have on like a

0:30:35.720 --> 0:30:37.880
<v Speaker 2>blue of my shirt. And about the third time it

0:30:37.960 --> 0:30:39.520
<v Speaker 2>happened when they were in the same color. I went,

0:30:39.840 --> 0:30:42.520
<v Speaker 2>what do you two have like telephones in your room?

0:30:42.840 --> 0:30:44.680
<v Speaker 2>And they went like, oh, no, we talk about it.

0:30:44.680 --> 0:30:47.200
<v Speaker 2>We want to make sure we're mac hunt And I'm

0:30:47.200 --> 0:30:49.240
<v Speaker 2>looking at Keith and me. You know, I'm in green,

0:30:49.320 --> 0:30:51.960
<v Speaker 2>he's in red, he's in copper, I'm in black. I

0:30:52.040 --> 0:30:55.320
<v Speaker 2>was like, okay, whatever, all right. He wants to have

0:30:55.400 --> 0:30:59.320
<v Speaker 2>your location. Oh, this is an interesting one, suasan. He

0:30:59.360 --> 0:31:03.160
<v Speaker 2>wants to have your location and constantly checks it, asking

0:31:03.200 --> 0:31:06.240
<v Speaker 2>about where you are. No, I can't do that. Where

0:31:06.280 --> 0:31:06.560
<v Speaker 2>you are.

0:31:07.040 --> 0:31:09.640
<v Speaker 1>You can see my location because I don't have anything

0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:11.800
<v Speaker 1>to hide. But if you're going to question it, that's.

0:31:11.640 --> 0:31:14.720
<v Speaker 2>A big ick. I would agree with you. That is

0:31:14.760 --> 0:31:16.680
<v Speaker 2>a huge if he's going to question.

0:31:16.520 --> 0:31:21.600
<v Speaker 1>It, he proposes without a ring and instead just a promise. Well,

0:31:21.640 --> 0:31:28.160
<v Speaker 1>that''s not a proposal, you tell Dicky proposed, kid, you

0:31:28.280 --> 0:31:31.560
<v Speaker 1>not walking down the beach at sunset in Miami, I

0:31:31.600 --> 0:31:35.520
<v Speaker 1>mean in Mallie. And he's like, isn't this beautiful?

0:31:35.680 --> 0:31:38.440
<v Speaker 2>What's your other proposal on the beach in Miami. No?

0:31:38.440 --> 0:31:40.760
<v Speaker 1>No, And I'll go, oh my gosh, it is And

0:31:40.760 --> 0:31:44.600
<v Speaker 1>he goes, you know, if I ever got married, this

0:31:44.680 --> 0:31:46.640
<v Speaker 1>is where I'd want to do it, and I go, yeah,

0:31:46.920 --> 0:31:49.280
<v Speaker 1>how about that? This would be absolutely beautiful? And I

0:31:49.440 --> 0:31:51.680
<v Speaker 1>just kept walking. We were quiet, and he goes, well,

0:31:52.240 --> 0:31:54.520
<v Speaker 1>I said, well, what well?

0:31:54.960 --> 0:31:57.480
<v Speaker 2>I just that was a proposal. Do you have a ring?

0:31:58.400 --> 0:32:01.840
<v Speaker 2>Did you say that? Yes? He goes no, we could

0:32:01.840 --> 0:32:03.600
<v Speaker 2>go to the diamond guy and that we would get

0:32:03.600 --> 0:32:05.640
<v Speaker 2>one mad. I was like, oh my god, that's it.

0:32:05.800 --> 0:32:07.920
<v Speaker 2>You didn't get down on one knee. I didn't surprise

0:32:08.040 --> 0:32:09.680
<v Speaker 2>with a box. I can't wait to see. You should

0:32:09.680 --> 0:32:13.640
<v Speaker 2>have known that marriage was no, no rain man, not

0:32:13.840 --> 0:32:18.040
<v Speaker 2>down on one knee. I don't think that's a your

0:32:18.080 --> 0:32:19.920
<v Speaker 2>picky again. You know, maybe you want to take your

0:32:19.920 --> 0:32:24.440
<v Speaker 2>shopping for the ring. Who knows he keeps his promise. Okay,

0:32:24.560 --> 0:32:26.800
<v Speaker 2>this one, I'm just going to say. I'm going to

0:32:26.840 --> 0:32:31.480
<v Speaker 2>answer what my before I read it, it's beyond oo.

0:32:31.840 --> 0:32:35.120
<v Speaker 2>It's kick him to the curb. It's alimony, child support

0:32:35.280 --> 0:32:39.920
<v Speaker 2>and taking eighty percent of every dime he has. Go ahead,

0:32:40.040 --> 0:32:40.480
<v Speaker 2>read it.

0:32:41.080 --> 0:32:46.240
<v Speaker 1>He shares all of our bedroom details with his friends,

0:32:46.240 --> 0:32:47.040
<v Speaker 1>being plural.

0:32:47.280 --> 0:32:50.440
<v Speaker 2>That right there gave you a nick. No, I just

0:32:50.480 --> 0:32:53.520
<v Speaker 2>told you it's so beyond it for Kathy. Oh no,

0:32:53.680 --> 0:32:56.000
<v Speaker 2>I told you it's kick him to the Curby. He'll

0:32:56.040 --> 0:32:58.080
<v Speaker 2>be living in the tent when I'm done with him.

0:32:58.200 --> 0:33:01.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I love it. All right, Well, this

0:33:01.440 --> 0:33:05.120
<v Speaker 2>was fun. That was super fun. And unfortunately, Susan, the

0:33:05.120 --> 0:33:07.240
<v Speaker 2>fun is come to an end. This will wait, do it.

0:33:07.280 --> 0:33:09.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm just happy that neither one of us have mother

0:33:09.320 --> 0:33:12.920
<v Speaker 2>in Lawles, that's true, and you're closer to one than

0:33:12.920 --> 0:33:15.000
<v Speaker 2>I am. You're closer to getting one than I am.

0:33:15.360 --> 0:33:18.440
<v Speaker 2>All right, That does it for this episode of Bachelor

0:33:18.440 --> 0:33:20.640
<v Speaker 2>Happy Hours Golden Hour. It was so much fun.

0:33:21.320 --> 0:33:24.440
<v Speaker 1>Thanks so much for joining us today. We love hearing

0:33:24.440 --> 0:33:27.000
<v Speaker 1>from you. We love doing this for you. And make

0:33:27.040 --> 0:33:30.120
<v Speaker 1>sure you follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new

0:33:30.160 --> 0:33:31.160
<v Speaker 1>episodes coming.

0:33:30.960 --> 0:33:33.200
<v Speaker 2>Out every week and you don't want to miss them,

0:33:33.720 --> 0:33:35.720
<v Speaker 2>and make sure you submit your questions to us. You

0:33:35.720 --> 0:33:38.800
<v Speaker 2>can go to Bachelor nation dot com, slash Golden Hour,

0:33:39.040 --> 0:33:41.680
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0:33:41.880 --> 0:33:45.280
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0:33:49.080 --> 0:33:50.560
<v Speaker 2>See you next time. Take care,