Speaker 1: Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much for joining us again this week, and
Speaker 1: we are so excited to be back. Hey, Kathy, you're
Speaker 1: looking good.
Speaker 2: Thanks, Susan, so are you. How are you doing today? Good?
Speaker 2: Good good good good good. Okay, Well, if you haven't
Speaker 2: done it yet, I know you have, Susan, but the
Speaker 2: rest of you, if you haven't done it, now is
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Speaker 1: write us a review. You know, Kathy, I've been receiving
Speaker 1: emails about our podcast. I love it, but I just
Speaker 1: wish they'd write in so we can say it.
Speaker 2: On their Okay, folks, right in and make sure to
Speaker 2: check out all of our past episodes. We have been
Speaker 2: having a blast talking to your faves and answering all
Speaker 2: your questions, so keep them coming at Bachelor nation dot
Speaker 2: com slash Golden Hour.
Speaker 1: Do you memorize that one cat? Don't we say that
Speaker 1: a lot.
Speaker 2: I got it all right.
Speaker 1: Now let's get started with our favorite part, the question
Speaker 1: of the day. All right, when do you stop parenting
Speaker 1: your kids?
Speaker 2: Or do you ever?
Speaker 1: For example, does parenting ever really end or does it
Speaker 1: just change over time?
Speaker 2: What do you think? Well, I really don't have time
Speaker 2: to do this podcast today because I have to go
Speaker 2: take care of my adult children. I don't think you
Speaker 2: ever stop parenting. I do think it looks a little
Speaker 2: bit different. I'm more of when my kids come to
Speaker 2: me as an advisor giving them my thoughts. I really
Speaker 2: try so hard not to interject what I think unless
Speaker 2: I'm asked. You know, don't say anything unless you're asked.
Speaker 2: What about you?
Speaker 1: I have changed one hundred thousand percent have changed because
Speaker 1: I'll bite my tongue when they say, you know you should.
Speaker 1: I thought you're raising your family. You do it your way, Kathy,
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you, I don't agree a lot of times.
Speaker 2: Oh sweety, you and I share my two year old granddaughter.
Speaker 2: They're raising her to be a terrorist. That's because she's two,
Speaker 2: that's all. I hope to God you're right. I will
Speaker 2: say I have matured as a parent. I do not
Speaker 2: call my children every night and tell them to brush
Speaker 2: their teeth.
Speaker 1: O God, no, no, or tell them how to keep
Speaker 1: their homes.
Speaker 2: Or clean their rooms or I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I was the kind of parent that I was. I
Speaker 2: don't want to call myself a helicopter mom, but I
Speaker 2: had and I bet you were the same. I had
Speaker 2: certain rules, like their rooms had to be cleaned, they
Speaker 2: had to do their homework, they had to put their
Speaker 2: clothes away, and so that was parenting when they were younger.
Speaker 2: Now you know, little it's little problems, big kids, big problems. Right,
Speaker 2: So when my kids come to me now, it's it's
Speaker 2: usually a bigger sort of life issue. Does that make sense? Yes,
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: And the only thing I might still give some advice
Speaker 1: is financial advice. I want to teach them what I
Speaker 1: missed and how important it is to put money away
Speaker 1: and how you know, like my son and my one
Speaker 1: son and my daughter in law. God forbid, I hate
Speaker 1: even saying this out that when they lost their child,
Speaker 1: it was almost six years ago, but they had a
Speaker 1: lawsuit that was settled and they're living very comfortably. They
Speaker 1: decided not to move and they put so much money
Speaker 1: in their house. It looks absolutely beautiful. But and I go, Chris,
Speaker 1: I'm saying half of that should have been a vested mom.
Speaker 1: I have X amount of dollars, I said, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: With what you had, you better put a lot more.
Speaker 2: They got new cars, and I get it, but I
Speaker 2: mean it's really I think I think raising kids like,
Speaker 2: did you give your kids an allowance? Because when I
Speaker 2: parented my kids, they got I think they started when
Speaker 2: they were maybe nine or ten, and I gave them
Speaker 2: their age in money, so ten they got ten dollars
Speaker 2: a week. Which well, but here's the thing. If they
Speaker 2: wanted to go to the movies with their friend, like,
Speaker 2: they had to learn to budget. And I made them.
Speaker 2: You know, back in those days we took them to
Speaker 2: church every Sunday, they had to put money in their
Speaker 2: money in the collection. Right, that's good. Well, and here
Speaker 2: I say, colleg I just wanted them. But I will
Speaker 2: tell you my kids are not. I mean, they all
Speaker 2: work hard, but I think money is probably as you
Speaker 2: and I've talked, money can be the root of all evil.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, that's another show. But money is tough, I mean,
Speaker 2: and I think our kids have a hard time learning
Speaker 2: those lessons. So parenting like that, I don't think of
Speaker 2: it as parenting. I think of it more like were
Speaker 2: their friends were more than their friends. But we're not
Speaker 2: parenting in the traditional sense of the word. You know,
Speaker 2: telling them what to do and they have to work right.
Speaker 1: When they come to us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I always do that, but you.
Speaker 1: Can't tell them what to do now they're adults. I
Speaker 1: cannot believe my babies. Kathy turned thirty seven and my
Speaker 1: daughter next month in ten days or.
Speaker 2: She's going to be forty years old. How is that
Speaker 2: even possible? I don't know. My oldest just turned last week,
Speaker 2: turned forty four. So you know, crimea Riverses and I got,
Speaker 2: I got, I can't. I mean I remember being that age.
Speaker 2: But whatever. You know what I'm afraid of, it's not
Speaker 2: part of the question of the day, but what the heck.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm worried about is when we get old,
Speaker 2: which I'm never getting old. Let's just start there. But
Speaker 2: you know, when the tables sort of flip and our
Speaker 2: kids sort of start paring want to do like mom,
Speaker 2: Like my kids already saying, Mom, don't get on that ladder.
Speaker 2: You know you don't need to break another leg. I mean,
Speaker 2: that's gonna happen one of these days where I.
Speaker 1: Think it's already begun. That Christ said a couple of
Speaker 1: things to me, Mom, you should.
Speaker 2: Go whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not there yet. Well that's
Speaker 2: the problem, since and you and I are never going
Speaker 2: to be there. You and I we're going to move
Speaker 2: to some great place and raise hell wherever we are,
Speaker 2: they're going to go. I don't care. I'm done eighty eight.
Speaker 2: I'm going to raise l I don't care. That's about living.
Speaker 2: You know, that's right.
Speaker 1: And you're right our parent. And even with my grandchildren, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't reprimand them as often as I did my
Speaker 1: own children. And I think that's a given because we're grandmoms.
Speaker 1: But I will tell them what's not, what's wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't do that. Well, my children are perfect.
Speaker 2: I don't have to tell them. I'll let this slide,
Speaker 2: all right. And I make them money. You know you
Speaker 2: need the money? Yes, And Stella give her money and
Speaker 2: she goes, look, mommy, what is Stella? She's what you're
Speaker 2: gonna do with money? Putting a bank account for Susan, putting.
Speaker 1: And then my older ones, my teenage was like, Mimi,
Speaker 1: can I have a twenty. Back in my day, it
Speaker 1: was a dollar was a lot fifty cents.
Speaker 2: The tooth fairy. Now yeah, I mean you can buy
Speaker 2: a car with what the tooth fairy needs for a bowler.
Speaker 2: All right, let's move into our advice portion of the day.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be the first one. Okay, okay, all right,
Speaker 2: here we go. This one is from Brianna. She's forty
Speaker 2: two from Seattle. Hi, golden ladies. I've been a loyal
Speaker 2: listener since the very beginning, and now I find myself
Speaker 2: needing some of your wisdom. Well, thanks for listening, Brianna. Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm struggling with my relationship with my mother in law. Oh,
Speaker 2: here we go. To put it simply, she just doesn't
Speaker 2: like me no matter what I do. It feels like
Speaker 2: she's always searching for something to hold against me. While
Speaker 2: this tension hasn't damaged my marriage, thankfully, my partner and
Speaker 2: I are solid, it is starting to wear me down
Speaker 2: right now. She's even refusing to speak to my spouse,
Speaker 2: and I can't help but feel responsible, even though we
Speaker 2: both know the issues aren't really about me. We've tried
Speaker 2: to work on this through therapy, but she refuses to participate,
Speaker 2: take accountability, or get help for her part in the
Speaker 2: dynamic that leaves us feeling stuck. We have a family
Speaker 2: get together and we're in this for the long haul.
Speaker 2: But so is she. My husband loves his mom and
Speaker 2: wants a relationship with her. I'm at a loss for
Speaker 2: how to handle the situation in a way that preserves
Speaker 2: my sanity and keeps the peace. How can we move
Speaker 2: forward when the dynamic feels this toxic and unfixable? Appreciate
Speaker 2: your help and love you too. Wow. Let me just
Speaker 2: tell you. I've never reme met Brianna, but since I
Speaker 2: lived Brihanna's life, let me tell you what's going on.
Speaker 2: Everything is a problem, and everything is Brianna's problem. The
Speaker 2: food's cooked wrong, their vacations are in the wrong place,
Speaker 2: They don't spend enough time with their mother in law.
Speaker 2: She stole her mother in law's son. I mean, how
Speaker 2: long do you want me to go on?
Speaker 1: It?
Speaker 2: Literally is Brianna can do nothing right. That's what the
Speaker 2: deal is. And there's some sort of Oedipus complex going
Speaker 2: on here where you know, the mom just can't let
Speaker 2: oversun So, what's your advice to her? Susan?
Speaker 1: You know, Kathy, I couldn't help but think it's you
Speaker 1: every time. But as you said, it could be anything
Speaker 1: she does. Maybe she just doesn't care for her. And
Speaker 1: that brings up what we talked about a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1: You try only for so long for your family's sake,
Speaker 1: for your husband's sake, And then if it were me,
Speaker 1: I would get to the point, well, well, you know
Speaker 1: you can't respect me. I'm not.
Speaker 2: Here's the thing. You don't want it to become a
Speaker 2: wedge between you and your spouse, right or your partner
Speaker 2: or whoever. You don't. But here's the thing. If if
Speaker 2: the mom, and it's usually the mom, has a jealousy,
Speaker 2: you know, you don't know what's going on in her life.
Speaker 2: Maybe her marriage isn't great, maybe she doesn't maybe she
Speaker 2: feels like you should move closer to her. You know,
Speaker 2: you don't know what's going through her head. But what
Speaker 2: you do know and the fact is she doesn't like you.
Speaker 2: And I knew my mother in law she would. She would,
Speaker 2: she would vacillate, she would say, oh, no, I really
Speaker 2: like you, but only when my husband would go to
Speaker 2: her faith, well yes, and when he said, mom, I'll
Speaker 2: never forget Susan. They my mother in law actually like
Speaker 2: me a little bit better off and on than my
Speaker 2: father in law. But again my father in law, they
Speaker 2: just they grew up very different to different culture. They
Speaker 2: grew up in farm towns. I grew up. Ask you
Speaker 2: a question, did you try in the beginning, like I did?
Speaker 2: You have no idea how much I did for my
Speaker 2: mother in law really, and when my father in law died,
Speaker 2: I did even work. But here's what I will say.
Speaker 2: My husband said to his mother and his father one
Speaker 2: time when I got really upset because I had it,
Speaker 2: you know, up to here, and Darryl said, Mom, Dad,
Speaker 2: we've been married whatever it was at the time, we've
Speaker 2: been married thirty five years. Do you think it stood
Speaker 2: the test of time. Can you get on board? Well,
Speaker 2: of course they never could. So my advice to Brianna
Speaker 2: is she may or may not get on board, but
Speaker 2: a don't let it come between you and your husband.
Speaker 2: Be polite when you see her. You know, if you're
Speaker 2: at a birthday party, if your kids, it's your child's
Speaker 2: birthday party, for example, tell her how glad you are
Speaker 2: to see her. You know that it's going to make
Speaker 2: your child because after a while you're not going to
Speaker 2: get no, no, no. But if you say, look, we're so
Speaker 2: glad you're here for Johnny's birthday, Yeah, thank you for coming. God,
Speaker 2: thank you for coming. And all you can do is
Speaker 2: be polite, because being polite never goes out of style.
Speaker 1: I want to go off course just for a second.
Speaker 1: Did you happen to watch The Hunting Wives?
Speaker 2: No, I don't watch it.
Speaker 1: You talk about a mother in law atached to her
Speaker 1: son like it was eery.
Speaker 2: But that's the point. This is not Brionna. I hate
Speaker 2: to say this to you. You are not alone in this.
Speaker 2: I mean, this is a very common issue. Uh, it
Speaker 2: just is, and I don't The only advice I can
Speaker 2: give you is be kind to her. Ultimately your right, Susan,
Speaker 2: I did give up, but but I gave up the
Speaker 2: last two years of her life. I mean, I just
Speaker 2: pray for patience for her. You know, I think that
Speaker 2: the therapy, by the way, is a good idea. And
Speaker 2: even if she refuses to go to therapy, Brianna, you
Speaker 2: go go with your partner because for your relationship, because
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, your child, your relationship
Speaker 2: with your spouse or partner is the most important.
Speaker 1: One and it's her family. Now you know, right, that's
Speaker 1: his family, but it's her family.
Speaker 2: It's hurtful, though, it's hurtful.
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, I know, and you know what, Thank you
Speaker 1: Brianna for writing into us.
Speaker 2: And we're really curious.
Speaker 1: If you get a milestone and succeed, please tell us
Speaker 1: that we could tell the world.
Speaker 2: Yes, let us know, let us know, and you know,
Speaker 2: just keep trying to do those family events as much
Speaker 2: as you can. And by the way, if none of
Speaker 2: that works, take a swig of vodka before she comes.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's move on. This one is from Melissa and
Speaker 1: she is sixty four years young from Oxner. Hi, Kathy,
Speaker 1: and Susan. I have a question for you. I first
Speaker 1: noticed this in my thirties and now again in my sixties.
Speaker 1: What do we do when the roles reverse and we
Speaker 1: find ourselves parenting our parents?
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm in my sixties and my dad is in
Speaker 1: his nineties.
Speaker 2: God bless him. Is he single?
Speaker 1: He's had several falls recently, but he refuses to use
Speaker 1: a walker and absolutely won't consider moving into an independent
Speaker 1: living facility, even though it would give him community care
Speaker 1: and resources. I've flown across the country multiple times to
Speaker 1: visit facilities with him, and they're truly wonderful, but he
Speaker 1: won't budge. It feels like I'm dealing with a defiant,
Speaker 1: stubborn toddler, and I'm the one who has to make
Speaker 1: the adult decisions. I'm constantly worried about him, and I
Speaker 1: don't know how to convince him that it is time.
Speaker 2: How do you.
Speaker 1: Navigate this stage of life with love without losing your sanity?
Speaker 1: I adore you both, and I love podcast Melissa.
Speaker 2: Thank you all. Can I just pick it? I can
Speaker 2: give this answer. She's not gonna like it, Melissa, but
Speaker 2: I dealt with this with my stepmom, who died a
Speaker 2: few years ago at ninety six. I feel your pain.
Speaker 2: But here's the simple answer, Melissa. Unless you have him
Speaker 2: declared incompetent, which he doesn't sound like he is, there's
Speaker 2: nothing you can do but do what you're doing, because
Speaker 2: he has the right to wither away fall every day
Speaker 2: unless unless he breaks a bone and a doctor says
Speaker 2: you cannot go home unless you have twenty four hour care,
Speaker 2: then you're going to get your wish and he'll be
Speaker 2: in long term care. But other than that, Unfortunately, we
Speaker 2: as senior citizens, have the right to make our own choices.
Speaker 1: Yes, and I couldn't agree with you more And unfortunately,
Speaker 1: and this might sound harsh, but if that's the way
Speaker 1: he chooses to go out, let it.
Speaker 2: Let it be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, you cannot control that. But I get
Speaker 1: what she's saying. How we were parents and that we're parenting.
Speaker 2: Are That's what I said earlier, right, we were talking
Speaker 2: about then the question of the day. It's so hard
Speaker 2: and Melissa to watch a vibrant person, your dad, who
Speaker 2: you know, carried you around, put you on his shoulders,
Speaker 2: and now is having trouble standing. I don't mean to
Speaker 2: sound insensitive. It's awful, but the fact as we get older.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my kids we had a conversation the other
Speaker 1: day on their birthday dinner. They said, listen, don't put
Speaker 1: me away. There'll be no inheritance left. That costs a
Speaker 1: lot of money. Just give me a cocktail, make.
Speaker 2: Me go to sleep, mom, Mom, we'll go to jail.
Speaker 1: I was like, no, seriously, I don't.
Speaker 2: That's not my plan.
Speaker 1: Some people plan for that. What she's talking about is
Speaker 1: not an old folks home, it's independent living. It's just
Speaker 1: another place that you can still be you and do
Speaker 1: what you want. You could still have a car. You know,
Speaker 1: he's not letting go of his home, so you know.
Speaker 2: What, I don't. I have to be honest, Susan. I've
Speaker 2: already told my kids there's going to be one dollar
Speaker 2: and ninety six cents left checking no, because I'm not
Speaker 2: going to go in. And my kids are always joking saying, oh,
Speaker 2: come on, mom, you'll be the life of the party.
Speaker 2: You'll be You'll be decorating for all the parties, You'll
Speaker 2: be doing the dancing. I'm like, nope. You know what
Speaker 2: my fears, Kathy.
Speaker 1: They're all old people in there, and I'm not old.
Speaker 2: They don't think they're old either, Susan. They're want to
Speaker 2: surround myself with younger people and keep on moving. But
Speaker 2: that's why you're paying Melissa. Well, let us know, Melissa.
Speaker 2: But and I know, I know it's hard. It's just
Speaker 2: one of those things. The way you navigate it is
Speaker 2: you love him, you check on him, you do what
Speaker 2: you can do, and then you have to let it
Speaker 2: go and and just you know, let.
Speaker 1: They don't want him to resent her for constantly trying
Speaker 1: to move him. You know, keep that relationship healthy with
Speaker 1: your dad. I know you think it's better, and it
Speaker 1: probably is.
Speaker 2: But if that's the way he chooses, that's what. Yeah. Also,
Speaker 2: I would say she's flown across the country multiple times.
Speaker 2: Think of the miles you're stacking up, Molesnia so you
Speaker 2: can be able to take a vacation. I mean, look
Speaker 2: for the positive in this issue. Moving let us know that.
Speaker 2: Good luck. Okay, This one is from Chris. Hi. My
Speaker 2: name is Chris. My wife and I have been married
Speaker 2: for ten years. We have three kids, and overall we
Speaker 2: share a really wonderful marriage. The only ongoing challenge we
Speaker 2: face is her parents. She's incredibly close to them, which
Speaker 2: I love, but at times it feels like the boundaries
Speaker 2: between our marriage and her family aren't very clear. They
Speaker 2: often stop by unannounced, and since my wife gave them
Speaker 2: keys to our house, I sometimes come home to find
Speaker 2: them just hanging out. Once I even came home to
Speaker 2: my mother in law opening my mail on a top
Speaker 2: that when my wife was pregnant, she told her parents
Speaker 2: before she told me, and that really stung. I love
Speaker 2: how much she values her relationship with them, but I
Speaker 2: also want to feel like i'm the number one person
Speaker 2: in her life. Do you have any advice on how
Speaker 2: to set healthier boundaries without damaging their closeness? Oh? Hell
Speaker 2: yeah I do. Oh God.
Speaker 1: First of all, you're not going to damage their closeness.
Speaker 1: They are close, but that's your house, and you kindly
Speaker 1: and respectfully ask your in laws let me know when
Speaker 1: you're coming. I could be coming down the stairs in
Speaker 1: a towel or naked for that matter. I can't have
Speaker 1: you walking in unexpected.
Speaker 2: I think I would handle it a little bit differently, shocker,
Speaker 2: I would. I think I would talk to my wife
Speaker 2: or my case, my first, and but I would. I would.
Speaker 2: I would give the positive first. You know, I love
Speaker 2: how close you are with parents. I love having them
Speaker 2: so close to us. But I am struggling and it
Speaker 2: doesn't work for me. And I would say to her,
Speaker 2: if I were you, Chris, I would say, it's very
Speaker 2: hurtful to me that you know you tell your parents
Speaker 2: things before me. We are a marriage, we have a bond.
Speaker 2: I love that you're close to their family, but there's
Speaker 2: some changes that need to be made, and that's called
Speaker 2: establishing healthy boundaries. So the first boundary would be that communication.
Speaker 2: Like we always say, right, but I'm saying. The first
Speaker 2: boundary that Chris, that you're gonna have to set because
Speaker 2: your wife isn't going to do it, is they must
Speaker 2: call before coming, and that your wife must talk to
Speaker 2: you before she has them over, so that you're not
Speaker 2: coming home when you're tired, you just want to put
Speaker 2: your feet up, and you found the table set for
Speaker 2: four and you're in laws with.
Speaker 1: Him walking and opening his mail.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, but I would say that to the wife
Speaker 2: if you can't see, if I were Chris, if you
Speaker 2: cannot see that this is wrong, so I am, I
Speaker 2: would say, I'm going to talk to your parents about
Speaker 2: opening my mail. I'm going to talk to them about
Speaker 2: these things. But I want you to work with me
Speaker 2: because we're a team. In other words, he asked, Chris,
Speaker 2: you have to have buy in from your wife.
Speaker 1: She's obviously blind to it because she's so used to
Speaker 1: her parents and being that comfortable. Maybe her parents opened
Speaker 1: her mail.
Speaker 2: I don't know, but that's a big taboo. That is huge,
Speaker 2: and you're right.
Speaker 1: Talk to your wife first and so she understands where
Speaker 1: you're coming from, and do it with tons of respect.
Speaker 1: Tell them how much you love them, and that at
Speaker 1: they're welcome there anytime.
Speaker 2: However, no, no, no, you can't say you're welcome anytime.
Speaker 2: We love seeing you, but please do not come any
Speaker 2: longer unannounced, And you know what, Christy might get their
Speaker 2: feelings hurt, you know what.
Speaker 1: And hug them and say, I'm not trying to hurt
Speaker 1: your feelings, babe. You can come anytime you want, just
Speaker 1: let me know first.
Speaker 2: Because Susan I may hear me. That's not what he
Speaker 2: wants to say, because he may not want them there anytime.
Speaker 2: In other words, play this out with me. I called
Speaker 2: and go hey, Chris, you know, hey, Susie whatever her
Speaker 2: name is, we'll be over in five minutes. And then
Speaker 2: Chris is like, no, I want to sit in my
Speaker 2: skivvies and chug beers tonight. I don't want your parents here.
Speaker 1: But he's given them. She's they're announcing that they're coming
Speaker 1: in five minutes, and you instantly say it's not a
Speaker 1: good times that would be his.
Speaker 2: So the boundaries are you wait for an invitations, You
Speaker 2: wait for an invitation, you never open my mail, and
Speaker 2: they're going to be hurt, Chris. But you got to
Speaker 2: get buy in from your wife because you guys are
Speaker 2: a team. All these questions today sort of relate have
Speaker 2: similar underline theme, which is whether you're married, partners, whatever,
Speaker 2: you're together for each other and you have to come
Speaker 2: first with each other.
Speaker 1: Chris, you love your wife, obviously, you have a great,
Speaker 1: solid marriage, so you do need to get her to
Speaker 1: understand where you're coming from, what it looks like from
Speaker 1: your point of view. And once she gets that, I'm
Speaker 1: sure it's going to work out.
Speaker 2: But listen, let us know, impress it and be kind. Yes,
Speaker 2: And Chris, if your in laws are listening and there's
Speaker 2: any big checks in the mail, send them to me.
Speaker 2: We'll split it all right, let's get it's game was well, Kathy?
Speaker 2: How about today? Though?
Speaker 1: All three of them was about parenting or us becoming
Speaker 1: parents to our parents and in law issues. And I
Speaker 1: can't tell you there's probably millions of people in the
Speaker 1: world that deal with this.
Speaker 2: It's so sad, I know. And this is why the
Speaker 2: game we should be playing today is drink or dare
Speaker 2: because that topic.
Speaker 1: We're going to play around them icky or picky or
Speaker 1: both about parenting and dating. We'll switch off reading the
Speaker 1: ick and we'll say if we agree or if we
Speaker 1: think it's just picky, I'll start us off. But wait,
Speaker 1: didn't we add another word? Or okay, his parents and
Speaker 1: or kids pop in unannounced.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you that's new to me. I say, Picky, pick,
Speaker 2: why do we just talked about the question? I know?
Speaker 1: And you think it's never bothered me? And if they
Speaker 1: walk in on me doing something they don't approve of,
Speaker 1: Oh well.
Speaker 2: Wow, okay, Well I thought I thought we were on
Speaker 2: the same page that he really had to talk to us. Well,
Speaker 2: but you're saying you wouldn't care.
Speaker 1: I mean unless it got monotonous.
Speaker 2: I mean to the point where yo.
Speaker 1: But for me, I am who I am. And if
Speaker 1: you you come in and you're not going to be
Speaker 1: happy with whatever it is I might be doing, or
Speaker 1: hell I'm dressed or whatever, then maybe you'll think twice
Speaker 1: before you do it.
Speaker 2: Agin Oh Susan, Okay, well, we can't belabor this, but
Speaker 2: I'm just telling you. If my husband and I are
Speaker 2: sitting down, I forgot what that feels like. But if
Speaker 2: we're just sitting down watching a movie with popcorn and
Speaker 2: my in laws popped in or my grown children popping in,
Speaker 2: I would.
Speaker 1: Say children can come popping in.
Speaker 2: I never pop into my children's home. I always call first, always,
Speaker 2: and I, by the way, by the way, I have
Speaker 2: key to my children's home. And I never ever walk
Speaker 2: in unannounced. And by that that's how someone still walks announced.
Speaker 2: Oh god, all right, we're moving on here. Here's the
Speaker 2: next one. Oh, his adult kids live with him. To me,
Speaker 2: that all depends in good situation. The situation I can't answer, icky, picky,
Speaker 2: Or it might be I might have a big heart
Speaker 2: on my sleeve for the child. It just all depends
Speaker 2: on his situation. They could be going through something.
Speaker 1: But if it's one that they never moved out, yeah,
Speaker 1: that would definitely be an ick.
Speaker 2: That would be an Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1: Wait to hear the next one. He gives his adult
Speaker 1: kids an allowance.
Speaker 2: Do you see my face? Susan secret ballot?
Speaker 1: If you want to give your kids money, give them
Speaker 1: one lump sum and say you go, we're done here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's that's just okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I can't even say this from the straight. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: He went with his kids on their honeymoon. Ew Listen,
Speaker 2: you know what. While he's on the honeymoon with them,
Speaker 2: you know where I am in the lawyer's office filing
Speaker 2: for divorce. Oh my god, it does, all right.
Speaker 1: A guy who wants to get matching couple's tattoos with you?
Speaker 2: Oh no, if uh, well it depends if if I'm tattoos,
Speaker 2: well that I don't either. But if I did, it's
Speaker 2: a sweet thing. It's sweet thing. I don't think it's
Speaker 2: taking picky. Yeah, maybe that's just picky. Yeah, okay, we'll
Speaker 2: go with that. All right. He's really into he's really
Speaker 2: into baby talking us little baby voices. I don't know
Speaker 2: what I would do. I probably cracked up in a space.
Speaker 2: What the hell are you doing?
Speaker 1: I mean, you know that is a picky because maybe
Speaker 1: some women turned.
Speaker 2: I mean like if he says, look, sweetie pie, I
Speaker 2: worn't the Jaguar dealer, and I'm gonna buy you that
Speaker 2: pear exactly. I'm gonna give a baby talk right back. Perfect,
Speaker 2: let's go. Okay.
Speaker 1: Some who sends someone who sends a good morning and
Speaker 1: a good night text every single day?
Speaker 2: I love I love it. I love it. Please, we're moving.
Speaker 2: I think it should okay. Uh.
Speaker 1: Couples who over wait, wait, you didn't say anything.
Speaker 2: What's your choice there? You don't like it? I think
Speaker 2: it's I think it's picky. I mean, I listen, I
Speaker 2: think anything. If it's rote, if every day I texted
Speaker 2: you Susan said good morning, and every day I text
Speaker 2: you said good night, it's like, you know, it would lose.
Speaker 1: You're not my boyfriend, though.
Speaker 2: And thankfully I'm not. I'm just saying. It doesn't say
Speaker 2: and bother you like, no, no, no, it doesn't say
Speaker 2: a boyfriend. It says someone who sends a good morning.
Speaker 2: Assume all right, great, guess what somebody you.
Speaker 1: Were dating, Kathy and they sent you a good morning
Speaker 1: every morning, I know, or a good night or sleep well,
Speaker 1: that would be.
Speaker 2: It'd be fine if I were in a serious relationship.
Speaker 2: But if it's just a guy I'm dating, no, I
Speaker 2: don't want to hear from you every day. Okay. Couples
Speaker 2: who overshare on social media share fights, lots of PDA,
Speaker 2: which is public displays of affection, et cetera.
Speaker 1: What do you think, ikey, I wouldn't share a fight
Speaker 1: on social media, that would.
Speaker 2: I think it's I I think I just think that
Speaker 2: we are sharing too much on social media.
Speaker 1: Sleeping in separate bedrooms from your partner only be as
Speaker 1: the flu or that.
Speaker 2: Snoring is just beyond like that.
Speaker 1: That depends, no, because as people age, I know a
Speaker 1: lot of people that have their own rooms now like
Speaker 1: older people.
Speaker 2: But a snoring thing. No, I mean, obviously I'm my
Speaker 2: own bedroom right now, but I could see it if
Speaker 2: they were sick or on the occasional night if I
Speaker 2: had to get up really early or something like that.
Speaker 2: But to maintain a separate bedroom, I like to put
Speaker 2: my cold feet on their back to warm up in
Speaker 2: the winter.
Speaker 1: That would be, I guess, a picky one. That depends
Speaker 1: on the individual. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Ye all right wants to wear matching out.
Speaker 1: Okay, that is just icky, that's just hysterical. I know, Fred,
Speaker 1: when we're going out dancing, all the darling, what color
Speaker 1: are you wearing?
Speaker 2: Because he wants to blend with its so cute. But
Speaker 2: can I just tell you on Paradise, all the couples,
Speaker 2: that is so funny you said that they of course, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I was slow to the game. Like they'd come out
Speaker 2: and you know they Jess would have on a blue
Speaker 2: dress and and and Spencer would have on like a
Speaker 2: blue of my shirt. And about the third time it
Speaker 2: happened when they were in the same color. I went,
Speaker 2: what do you two have like telephones in your room?
Speaker 2: And they went like, oh, no, we talk about it.
Speaker 2: We want to make sure we're mac hunt And I'm
Speaker 2: looking at Keith and me. You know, I'm in green,
Speaker 2: he's in red, he's in copper, I'm in black. I
Speaker 2: was like, okay, whatever, all right. He wants to have
Speaker 2: your location. Oh, this is an interesting one, suasan. He
Speaker 2: wants to have your location and constantly checks it, asking
Speaker 2: about where you are. No, I can't do that. Where
Speaker 2: you are.
Speaker 1: You can see my location because I don't have anything
Speaker 1: to hide. But if you're going to question it, that's.
Speaker 2: A big ick. I would agree with you. That is
Speaker 2: a huge if he's going to question.
Speaker 1: It, he proposes without a ring and instead just a promise. Well,
Speaker 1: that''s not a proposal, you tell Dicky proposed, kid, you
Speaker 1: not walking down the beach at sunset in Miami, I
Speaker 1: mean in Mallie. And he's like, isn't this beautiful?
Speaker 2: What's your other proposal on the beach in Miami. No?
Speaker 1: No, And I'll go, oh my gosh, it is And
Speaker 1: he goes, you know, if I ever got married, this
Speaker 1: is where I'd want to do it, and I go, yeah,
Speaker 1: how about that? This would be absolutely beautiful? And I
Speaker 1: just kept walking. We were quiet, and he goes, well,
Speaker 1: I said, well, what well?
Speaker 2: I just that was a proposal. Do you have a ring?
Speaker 2: Did you say that? Yes? He goes no, we could
Speaker 2: go to the diamond guy and that we would get
Speaker 2: one mad. I was like, oh my god, that's it.
Speaker 2: You didn't get down on one knee. I didn't surprise
Speaker 2: with a box. I can't wait to see. You should
Speaker 2: have known that marriage was no, no rain man, not
Speaker 2: down on one knee. I don't think that's a your
Speaker 2: picky again. You know, maybe you want to take your
Speaker 2: shopping for the ring. Who knows he keeps his promise. Okay,
Speaker 2: this one, I'm just going to say. I'm going to
Speaker 2: answer what my before I read it, it's beyond oo.
Speaker 2: It's kick him to the curb. It's alimony, child support
Speaker 2: and taking eighty percent of every dime he has. Go ahead,
Speaker 2: read it.
Speaker 1: He shares all of our bedroom details with his friends,
Speaker 1: being plural.
Speaker 2: That right there gave you a nick. No, I just
Speaker 2: told you it's so beyond it for Kathy. Oh no,
Speaker 2: I told you it's kick him to the Curby. He'll
Speaker 2: be living in the tent when I'm done with him.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love it. All right, Well, this
Speaker 2: was fun. That was super fun. And unfortunately, Susan, the
Speaker 2: fun is come to an end. This will wait, do it.
Speaker 2: I'm just happy that neither one of us have mother
Speaker 2: in Lawles, that's true, and you're closer to one than
Speaker 2: I am. You're closer to getting one than I am.
Speaker 2: All right, That does it for this episode of Bachelor
Speaker 2: Happy Hours Golden Hour. It was so much fun.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for joining us today. We love hearing
Speaker 1: from you. We love doing this for you. And make
Speaker 1: sure you follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new
Speaker 1: episodes coming.
Speaker 2: Out every week and you don't want to miss them,
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Speaker 2: See you next time. Take care,