WEBVTT - “I COLLECT HUMAN SKULLS” 0:00:02.840 --> 0:00:09.240 Hello, Hi, Hello, I'm Alexandra. It's just Alexandra without the Yeah. 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:11.039 How can I get you today? 0:00:12.000 --> 0:00:14.960 Oh? I don't know. I just got back from the 0:00:14.960 --> 0:00:17.920 gym and was hanging out and I turned on your 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:20.159 stream and I thought i'd text you. 0:00:20.680 --> 0:00:22.400 That's not what you wanted to talk about. You wanted 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:24.880 to talk about how you collect human skulls. That's what 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:25.480 you texted me. 0:00:26.760 --> 0:00:27.360 That's correct. 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:32.360 Yeah, let's get to the skulls. 0:00:32.520 --> 0:00:34.080 Well, I didn't know if you really wanted to talk 0:00:34.080 --> 0:00:36.919 about the skulls. It's kind of a I'm a cob thing. 0:00:36.960 --> 0:00:38.360 But I guess you called me so you want to 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:38.959 talk about it. 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:41.800 What kind of skull these human? These are human skulls. 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:49.280 These are human skulls, real human skulls, medical specimens. I 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:54.040 have a few collector friends. There's like a I guess 0:00:54.080 --> 0:00:59.080 there's a little network of online skull collectors and kind 0:00:59.080 --> 0:01:02.720 of became a part of the community, and well, I 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:04.440 don't know, I like got my hands on one, and 0:01:04.440 --> 0:01:06.080 then I became a part of the community. And now 0:01:06.080 --> 0:01:09.039 it's like they're all over the place if you look. 0:01:09.680 --> 0:01:11.520 That's a much more wholesome answer. I thought you were 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:13.840 going to say Craigslist or Tinder. 0:01:15.240 --> 0:01:17.160 No, I don't think that's allowed. 0:01:18.959 --> 0:01:20.119 How long have you been doing this for? 0:01:22.760 --> 0:01:29.240 Oh gosh, I guess it's been. That's like twenty sixteen, 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:34.840 maybe twenty sixteen or twenty seventeen. I had always collected skulls, like, 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:37.480 I always loved animal skulls. I have deer skulls and 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:43.840 big cool elk antlers and like an African eland and 0:01:44.720 --> 0:01:47.240 just big animal skulls. But then I guess I graduated 0:01:47.240 --> 0:01:48.520 to human skulls. 0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:53.440 Do you ever think about the human that is behind 0:01:53.480 --> 0:01:56.240 the skull, like the human that the skull once belonged to? 0:01:57.640 --> 0:02:00.040 I do, Actually, I think about it a lot. But 0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:07.480 it's very interesting to consider this now specimen and who 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.480 they used to be. Can't get too caught up in it, though? 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:12.760 Well do you mean you can't? What do you mean 0:02:12.800 --> 0:02:14.799 you can't get too caught up in it? What happens 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.160 if you get too caught up in it? 0:02:17.720 --> 0:02:21.079 Well, you you just always leave yourself wondering. I'll never 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:25.800 know who these people were. They usually don't come with 0:02:25.880 --> 0:02:31.200 a story or anything. They're just they're just specimens now. 0:02:31.280 --> 0:02:35.080 And do you try to always respect the person that 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:37.920 they used to be? But I'll never really know who 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.600 they were, so I can't drive myself nuts trying to 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:41.200 figure it out. 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:43.880 Do you. 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:52.040 Think how would you feel if one day your skull 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:54.120 ended up in the hands of a skull collector. 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:59.240 I think that would be really cool. Actually, most of 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:04.320 the skull collectors I know anyway are super respectful and like, 0:03:05.800 --> 0:03:09.760 I don't know, like keepers of artifacts. So I think 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:11.480 it would be cool to be a part of a collection, 0:03:11.760 --> 0:03:18.800 provide a court skull collector general respectable person. But I 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:20.560 find they usually are like a lot of people that 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:25.520 the deal with death and our way into death, there's 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:28.800 just this air of respect. I mean, there has to 0:03:28.840 --> 0:03:30.400 be m. 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:36.160 Do you ever are when you say, have you ever 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:38.920 met anyone who like just keeps their skulls on the 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:43.440 floor or like in fins with the Christmas lights? 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:44.400 No. 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:46.960 I saw one guy who had like a crate. It 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:49.400 was like a photo online and he just had like 0:03:49.400 --> 0:03:51.120 a bunch of them and like a milk crate. And 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:53.800 I didn't really like that very much, but I don't know, 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:55.400 maybe he ran out of storage or something. 0:03:56.840 --> 0:03:59.880 Somebody in the chat asked if people ever practiced kissing 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.880 the skulls or if that's strange. 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:08.120 I would hope not. I feel like there is much 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:11.160 better things to practice on, mainly living people. 0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:14.720 Mm hmm. 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:17.600 But it doesn't really have, you know, like lips, so 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:20.559 it would it doesn't translate well to the living. 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:26.040 Yeah, I guess that's true. That's true. 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:27.760 Mm hmm. 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:29.839 Do you ever. 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:31.440 What? 0:04:31.839 --> 0:04:35.200 How how old are these people whose skulls you have? 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:42.360 It's hard to say adults. I have one that is 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:49.720 a Tibetan capola, a skull cap used in Buddhist ritual stuff, 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:52.840 and it's carved, but it's a very very small skull 0:04:52.880 --> 0:04:57.360 cap so I think that one was an adolescent or 0:04:57.400 --> 0:04:58.159 a child. 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:01.159 You have a Tibetan child's skull. 0:05:02.760 --> 0:05:05.919 Yeah, it's really cool. It's carved as a Maha College 0:05:05.960 --> 0:05:09.960 demon and it's one of the best carvings I've ever seen. 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:12.000 I'm so happy to have this specimen. I got a 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:15.840 really good price on an auction in Switzerland online. 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:21.200 That's crazy that you can buy a child's skull in Switzerland. 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:24.760 That doesn't seem very Swiss to me. 0:05:27.040 --> 0:05:31.760 Yeah, you're right, Well, I don't know. It might have 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:34.760 been Switzerland. I think I do several of these, like 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:38.160 international auctions. I find it easier to just deal with 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:42.080 my skull collector friends. But I don't know. I went 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:44.080 to Switzerland once a long time ago. I mean, it's 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:47.760 kind of weird, like child porn was legal still I 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:49.120 don't know if it still is. But they had like 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.120 weird flyers and stuff, and I asked my tour guy 0:05:51.160 --> 0:05:52.200 what the hell that was about? 0:05:53.240 --> 0:05:56.719 You know, honestly, with them selling the child's skulls, I'm 0:05:56.720 --> 0:05:58.480 not super surprised. 0:06:00.240 --> 0:06:04.080 Well, it was like from an old collection of somebody 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:07.479 who collectives a lot of this Buddhist spiritual stuff. So 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:10.880 I don't know if it's necessarily a Swiss thing and 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:16.200 have child skulls. 0:06:13.920 --> 0:06:17.279 Just every is it? What if there was just like 0:06:17.320 --> 0:06:21.520 a child's skull in every home in Switzerland. 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:26.719 That would be a lot of dead children. The child 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:31.240 skulls are really cool actually because they have their baby teeth. 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:34.880 If you get if you find a young enough specimen 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:39.880 and there's still like the adult teeth there the other 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:42.479 there's like two sets of teeth that looks really neat. 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:45.520 Do you feel like you would do you feel like 0:06:45.560 --> 0:06:48.760 you would have a really good conversation about skulls with 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:53.440 Jeffrey Dahmer? Uh? 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.800 I don't know he had a few, but I think 0:06:56.839 --> 0:07:01.080 we collect for different reasons. I don't I don't know 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:04.160 if he was really that good of a conversationalist. Anyway. 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:08.560 There was Ted Bundy, I think was the one who 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:10.000 people said was very charming. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.160 Yeah, I've heard that, Yeah, and I guess in his 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:20.200 interviews and court stuff he had that that air about him. 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:26.520 How much How much did you pay for the child skull? 0:07:26.560 --> 0:07:27.160 How much was it? 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:33.680 Well, that particular one came in a lot. It was 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:38.080 two Tibetan capolas. One was very normal, not carved and 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.400 adult size, and then there was this one and they 0:07:40.400 --> 0:07:46.560 were it was like mislabeled or something, or maybe it 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:49.400 was just the fact that people don't really search for 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:52.960 skull in Swiss. But I will put all the different 0:07:53.040 --> 0:07:55.440 languages into the air National option site so I can 0:07:55.440 --> 0:08:01.240 find what I want, obviously. But together they were like 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:06.960 eight hundred euro and then there's a twenty percent buyers 0:08:07.200 --> 0:08:10.200 tax when you give these ouptions, and usually it's like 0:08:10.280 --> 0:08:12.600 twenty percent, and then shipping is a giant pain in 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:15.760 the ass, usually very expensive as well. So all around, 0:08:16.120 --> 0:08:18.840 I think it was about a grand or more, just 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:19.800 a little more. 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:27.200 Wow, you could that's like, that's I'm trying to think. 0:08:27.240 --> 0:08:29.800 How much is it to have it? It costs like 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:32.720 two hundred thousand dollars or something, right to raise a 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:42.400 child from a baby to an adult, right, something like that. 0:08:43.080 --> 0:08:44.760 Oh is that right? That sounds like a lot. 0:08:45.120 --> 0:08:47.920 So that's like, I mean, that's like a ninety seven 0:08:48.040 --> 0:08:52.559 percent discount if you just buy the dead one. 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:57.000 Yeah. Yeah, definitely a lot cheaper. And they don't need 0:08:57.080 --> 0:09:02.880 noise and stuff. They don't need college. They're good listeners. 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:08.720 What do you tell the skulls? 0:09:10.800 --> 0:09:13.600 I sometimes like to come home and just tell them 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:16.520 about my day. 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:18.680 Do you like, do you ever have a moment where 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:24.480 you realize that you're talking to a skull of a kid? 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:28.800 Yeah? I mean I try. I make an effort to 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:30.320 try and talk to him, you know, like a plant. 0:09:31.080 --> 0:09:33.400 It's like good forum or something if you talk to 0:09:33.480 --> 0:09:39.160 them right, right, right. But I don't have like full 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:44.600 blown conversations. I don't think I'm that crazy. But I 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:47.400 will come home and say hi sometimes and tell it 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.120 about my day or whatever. I have this one shelves 0:09:50.160 --> 0:09:51.800 that's got like four lined up, so I have this 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:53.880 like little audience if I have anything to say, which 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:54.559 is always nice. 0:09:56.920 --> 0:10:01.599 What's the last thing you said to your audience of skulls? 0:10:02.280 --> 0:10:04.840 Oh, darn it, I don't remember. It's actually been a 0:10:04.840 --> 0:10:07.640 minute since. I uh, since I wouldn't have a chat 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:09.559 with any of them. But I think I I think 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:11.800 I said something to my cannibal skull when I was 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:13.199 fixing its head dress. 0:10:14.920 --> 0:10:17.400 What's a cannibal skull? 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:22.600 I have a couple different tribal skulls. They're from into 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:30.679 cannibalistic tribes from Papua New Guinea called the Asthmat. They 0:10:30.800 --> 0:10:34.040 used to practice cannibalism. They kind of don't anymore, you know, 0:10:34.120 --> 0:10:35.880 like around the fifties or so, the Dutch came in 0:10:35.920 --> 0:10:37.640 and we're like, bro, don't do that, and pushed a 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:40.600 lot of Christianity on people, and they kind of like 0:10:40.679 --> 0:10:42.280 came to an agreement where they didn't really. 0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:42.400 Have to. 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:48.040 Kill each other for heads and stuff, so they stopped. 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:51.400 You know, people talk, people talk a lot of shit 0:10:51.679 --> 0:11:00.680 on Christian colonization and and that shit. You know, I'm 0:11:00.679 --> 0:11:05.200 no historian, but it's it's probably mostly granted. But if 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:11.720 if the Christian colonization did do one thing, it stopped 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:13.680 people from eating each other, which is I think a 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:15.600 good I think everyone can agree is a good thing. 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.959 Yeah, I think so. I think. You know, they were 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:21.880 just stuck in their waves for a while. So having 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:25.199 somebody come in and be like, do you have to kill, 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:27.400 eat and use each other's skulls all the time? And 0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:30.480 you know, when you sit and evaluate the situation, like 0:11:30.720 --> 0:11:34.680 maybe they maybe they don't have to started using different 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:37.360 things in place of the skulls and their rituals. So 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:43.640 everything was still kosher with the religions and stuff, but 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:48.320 just didn't have to kill anybody. But when the ancestors die, 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:50.760 they'll decorate the skulls and stuff, so they still have 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:53.080 skulls around. 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:57.520 How do you feel out rib cages? 0:11:59.520 --> 0:11:59.640 Oh? 0:11:59.679 --> 0:12:04.880 I don't have any rib cages. I've looked at them before. 0:12:05.280 --> 0:12:07.600 It'd be cool to have one of they're a bit expensive, 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:09.000 especially with this plane attached. 0:12:11.440 --> 0:12:16.840 What's your name again, Alexander? Andrew? Alexandra? Alexandra? Is anything 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:17.920 else you want to say to the people of the 0:12:17.920 --> 0:12:18.760 computer before we go? 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:26.160 Happy Halloween, have a good night, you see, Thanks, get 0:12:26.200 --> 0:12:28.360 go bye bye. 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:36.640 Hello, Hey, what's up? 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:37.680 Hey? Is this Lyle? 0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:40.320 Yeah? Where are you at? 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:40.560 Man? 0:12:40.640 --> 0:12:43.640 You're like in a you're at the supermarket right now? 0:12:43.679 --> 0:12:44.520 Where are you a. 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:47.480 Little bit more quiet? Hi? Sorry? 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:48.160 Where were you? 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:50.880 Where was I? Oh? I'm a I'm at a bar 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:51.800 that I work at. 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:53.880 Oh you're at a bar that you work at? Are 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:58.400 you allowed to just stop manning the bar and go 0:12:58.559 --> 0:12:59.240 talk to Well? 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:04.360 Actually, I'm here on my day off. Actually we're we're 0:13:04.400 --> 0:13:06.600 a retro video game bar. So I'm playing a green 0:13:06.679 --> 0:13:07.040 of Time. 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:10.240 Well you can play. I feel like a bar is 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.520 a terrible place to play Arena of Time. 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:14.600 So we have. 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:17.520 I want to say, like eight to ten different like 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:20.000 console stations. We have like a place to we have 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:22.960 PlayStation five and a switch on a big TV. And 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:26.200 then at the actual bar top we have a bunch 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:28.920 of sets of two controllers, like one of them for 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:30.640 a GameCube, one for sixty four. 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:32.679 But no, it's actually really fun. I mean you don't 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:34.800 get the audio for a green up Time, but it's fun. 0:13:35.920 --> 0:13:37.719 But but you don't really I mean operat have Time. 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:39.520 It's not a game you necessarily you pick up and 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.280 play and put down after five minutes. It's like a 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.760 it's a whole I mean, it's like a it's like 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:46.320 a job. 0:13:47.360 --> 0:13:51.040 That's that actually is a good point I. So I started. 0:13:51.960 --> 0:13:55.360 I started it, and I got the first two jewels, 0:13:55.480 --> 0:13:57.000 and then somebody deleted. 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:59.120 It, and so now I'm starting over again. I'm currently 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:01.000 in the Pika tree, trying of the first one. 0:14:01.520 --> 0:14:03.319 Yeah, dude, people are gonna get fucked up and delete 0:14:03.320 --> 0:14:11.040 your saves. But well, Jamal, what's up man? What's what's Uh? 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:14.200 Is there anything in particular you wanted to talk about today? 0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:14.840 I don't know. 0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:20.120 I'll tell you something funny. So you called me earlier 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:22.800 and I didn't answer the phone. I was injecting my 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:23.840 butt with testosterone. 0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:28.360 Uh, that is very funny. You were injecting your butt 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:29.680 with testosterone. 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:30.880 Yeah. 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:36.680 So I go to the gym relatively often, and I've 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:38.479 fallen into this like depression. 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:42.640 We'll call it. We'll call it. We'll call it a 0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:45.920 not a depression, We'll call it a pothole. 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:48.080 I've fallen in this pothole and I was like stopping 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:49.440 going to the gym, and I was like having trouble 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:51.080 waking up from. 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:52.320 One of my buddies suggested it to me. 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:57.280 He's this six foot eight, gorgeous Brazilian man that's absolutely 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.960 amazing and hilarious. But he was telling me that he 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:03.240 he went through the prestone one points and he went 0:15:03.280 --> 0:15:05.800 and got some blood test results done and his testosterone 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:09.120 was really low. So I went, I got some testosterone 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:13.440 results done through a blood test. This is all like, sorry, 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.040 this is this is something that's new in my life 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.200 that's really strange. So when I got a blood test 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.600 and my testosterone level was at two hundred and thirty one, 0:15:20.880 --> 0:15:24.800 which is really low. But my health insurance just expired. 0:15:25.320 --> 0:15:30.440 So instead I've been buying needles on Amazon and testosterone 0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:32.440 on the dark Web because it's a lot cheaper, and 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:34.120 then I go and to get blood tests every couple 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:34.840 of months. 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:43.600 Sman's just play an Ocarina of Time at an arcade 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:48.479 bar and shooting dark web testostrade into his ass. 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:53.160 I googled it. Most testosterone is actually vegan. It's made 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:56.520 from soy. Yeah. I don't know why I looked that up. 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:59.640 But I well, then, well, then shove it in your ass, then. 0:15:59.560 --> 0:16:02.680 Please exactly, David, go for it. 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:08.080 Well, I mean, that's a bummer that you know you 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.560 can't just you know, get I'm sorry to hear about 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:17.200 your health insurance. Are you are like have you spoken? 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:19.480 Are you able to go to a doctor? At all 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:19.840 or no. 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:25.720 So my health insurances are we relapsing? I think might 0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:29.000 be the term. It'll come back up in a month. 0:16:30.920 --> 0:16:32.400 So in a month, I'll be able to go and 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:35.800 see my doctor again and go get all my prescriptions. 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:38.880 I'm really open with doctors, so I'll tell them like 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:41.000 I tell doctors like how much I smoke, how much 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:43.800 I drink, what drugs I do, if I do any drugs, 0:16:43.800 --> 0:16:45.000 Like I'm very very open with them. 0:16:45.040 --> 0:16:46.760 Oh yeah, I was gonna So are you going to 0:16:46.880 --> 0:16:48.880 let a medical professional know that you're doing this? 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:51.280 Yes, one hundred percent, as soon as I can see 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:55.200 a doctor again. So I do one hundred and twenty 0:16:55.360 --> 0:17:01.240 five milligrams twice a week and then it's a ten 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:06.719 week cycle and I'm on week five right now. But 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:09.560 it's it's like it's all new territory for me because 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:13.479 like as far as me and like I don't know 0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:14.920 you know, that's I don't I don't know how to 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:18.240 explain it's only territory for me because it's I don't 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:20.439 know you. You open up my cabinet in my kitchen 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:22.560 and I have like I have peanut butter, and then 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:25.199 I have like rice paper for like making like like 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.320 salad rolls, and then I have some top ramen, and 0:17:28.359 --> 0:17:30.320 then I have some bouyon, some dashi, and then right 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:32.159 above that there's this big bag of needles that are 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:33.760 all like individually wrapped. 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:36.479 It's kind of funny. 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:40.280 Okay, has this been making you feel better at all? 0:17:40.440 --> 0:17:41.760 Oh? So that's that's actually so? 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:44.520 The thing is so so I'm on I'm on week 0:17:44.760 --> 0:17:48.240 five out of a ten week cycle. My buddy, who's 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.080 the gorgeous six and eight bazillion man, he takes I 0:17:51.080 --> 0:17:54.880 think five hundred or like seven hundred milligrams. He's also 0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:59.280 like he like goes to Brazil for like three months 0:17:59.680 --> 0:18:02.280 and like hangs out of gym, gets really fat, does 0:18:02.320 --> 0:18:04.440 a bunch of steroids and works out. So he's like 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:06.760 on a different level of stuff. Like he's he's very 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:10.399 much like he's using like anyway he was. 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:13.880 He was injecting his ass with dark web testosterone when 0:18:13.880 --> 0:18:14.840 he was in middle school. 0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:19.480 There we go, there we go. But uh so he's 0:18:19.480 --> 0:18:21.760 on he's on A. He's he's a he's much more. 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:27.119 Professional than I am. That's the thing. Honestly, Like I 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:31.200 don't honestly feel that different. I did. It took me 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:33.840 a week and a half. But I woke up at 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:36.160 seven o'clock in the morning and I went to the. 0:18:36.119 --> 0:18:40.400 Gym, and uh, I kind of lied about the about 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:41.960 the pothole. It's not a pothole. It's been a pretty 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:44.359 big sick coole. It's been about like seven months that 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:46.800 I've been in eight months that I've been in this depression, 0:18:46.920 --> 0:18:48.320 and I haven't been to the gym once. 0:18:49.400 --> 0:18:53.639 In like in like those eight months. And so it 0:18:53.640 --> 0:18:55.080 took me. It took me like a week and a half. 0:18:55.160 --> 0:18:57.359 And then and then I woke up one morning and 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:02.080 I went to the gym, and I don't I don't 0:19:02.080 --> 0:19:05.400 feel that different. Actually I did make it to the gym. 0:19:05.440 --> 0:19:08.080 I have been going on a couple of hikes. 0:19:08.640 --> 0:19:09.479 The gym kind of was. 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:14.560 It was kind of saddening because when I stopped going 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:17.080 to the gym, I was benching two twenty five. I 0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:20.840 was squatting three hundred and forty five or three twenty 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:22.639 five and on. 0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:23.520 These aren't prs. 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:26.560 These are like I'm doing like sets of ten. I 0:19:26.640 --> 0:19:30.800 was preacher curling one hundred and fifteen pounds. My Catholic extensions, 0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:33.160 my calves are huge. There's not a cafol extension machine 0:19:33.160 --> 0:19:35.680 that I can't mix out. I went to the gym 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.080 and I was doing squats and I just did I 0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:40.600 did one thirty five and I did eight reps, and 0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:44.920 I just I felt sad because I had I had, 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:47.880 like I gone from being this this fat kid who 0:19:47.960 --> 0:19:50.159 like never worked out to like being like trim and 0:19:50.200 --> 0:19:55.679 cut and like dude, my legs were so strong anyway, 0:19:55.720 --> 0:19:56.720 So it was it was kind of like a down 0:19:56.760 --> 0:19:58.600 er to like go to the gym and see all 0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:01.439 the progress that I had lost just because I got 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:03.320 a weird headspace for eight months. 0:20:04.760 --> 0:20:07.320 Well, I'm going to tell you something, if it makes 0:20:07.359 --> 0:20:12.080 you feel any better. Yeah, I'm so out of shape 0:20:13.160 --> 0:20:15.600 that I'm not even one hundred percent sure of anything 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:18.800 that you were just talking about. So you're doing better 0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:19.199 than me. 0:20:21.600 --> 0:20:23.840 I appreciate that, wele. I actually really do appreciate that. 0:20:24.560 --> 0:20:26.679 I am. I don't know. 0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:29.440 I remember being at the gym, and I remember thinking 0:20:29.480 --> 0:20:31.119 myself that I was too fat to be at the gym. 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:33.040 And then the next thought that went in my head 0:20:33.160 --> 0:20:35.480 was that if anybody that I ever knew, even somebody 0:20:35.480 --> 0:20:37.000 that I didn't like, like, not just people that I 0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:38.080 care about, somebody that. 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:39.639 I didn't like to tell me that they were too 0:20:39.680 --> 0:20:40.399 fat to be at the him. 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:42.040 I told them, can I swear? 0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:43.160 Okay? 0:20:43.240 --> 0:20:47.480 Yeah? Yeah, yeah, okay. And if it makes should I haven't, 0:20:47.520 --> 0:20:50.240 I need to whatever. It's not about me, but. 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:55.720 It says about you. This is about us. We're talking. 0:20:55.760 --> 0:20:56.760 We're connecting right now. 0:20:58.000 --> 0:20:59.400 This is a cool thing to say. 0:20:59.400 --> 0:20:59.800 I like that. 0:21:00.240 --> 0:21:01.160 Thank you for saying that. 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:02.359 Thank you. 0:21:04.160 --> 0:21:10.800 M M. Look man, uh, why don't you, uh just 0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:12.879 go back to the gym? Are you? Are you just 0:21:12.960 --> 0:21:16.119 kind of dwelling on on on what what's been lost? 0:21:18.280 --> 0:21:20.639 I think maybe I am. 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:25.560 I'm going, uh so to our Thanksgiving. I'm going on 0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:28.760 a hike with my brother tomorrow. So we got six 0:21:28.840 --> 0:21:30.520 in the morning. No, I don't have we come a 0:21:30.560 --> 0:21:31.920 five thirty in the morning. My but they're not gonna 0:21:31.920 --> 0:21:33.720 go on a hike, which is gonna be nice because 0:21:33.720 --> 0:21:36.480 we went on the same hike before. It's a five 0:21:36.480 --> 0:21:36.920 mile hike. 0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:40.920 First half is uphill, second half is downhill. And then 0:21:41.000 --> 0:21:44.280 I'm gonna go home, cook something, go to sleep. Friday, 0:21:44.280 --> 0:21:45.680 I'll go to the gym. 0:21:46.119 --> 0:21:48.520 You're right, it's okay, just dwell on it. 0:21:48.520 --> 0:21:53.359 Right, I mean you are by the way, uh, I 0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:57.919 wouldn't consider waking up at seven am. Uh to go 0:21:58.000 --> 0:22:00.840 on a hike on a holiday where everyone's going to 0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:05.600 be sleeping until noon and doing nothing and eating a 0:22:05.600 --> 0:22:08.240 ship a ton of food. That's your It sounds like 0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:11.119 you don't need a fat echo to tell you not 0:22:11.160 --> 0:22:14.159 to dwell, You're already doing it. 0:22:14.160 --> 0:22:15.080 It's gonna be the first. 0:22:15.400 --> 0:22:17.160 It's gonna be the first, thank saving that I spent 0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:18.000 alone in a long time. 0:22:18.560 --> 0:22:21.560 I thought, you, so we going a hike with my brother, 0:22:21.640 --> 0:22:22.879 but as far as like, that's gonna be like a 0:22:22.880 --> 0:22:23.480 two hour thing. 0:22:24.119 --> 0:22:25.919 And then after that, I spent the entire day by myself. 0:22:26.240 --> 0:22:26.960 What the hell's your brother? 0:22:28.520 --> 0:22:28.600 He? 0:22:29.240 --> 0:22:32.880 Uh? My brother has. 0:22:32.840 --> 0:22:35.920 Been going through like a I don't know. 0:22:35.960 --> 0:22:36.800 He's he said that. 0:22:37.040 --> 0:22:38.640 I asked him if he wanted to spend dinner together 0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:40.359 because I had no plans, and he said he was 0:22:40.480 --> 0:22:42.920 very excited to be alone with his books. 0:22:44.320 --> 0:22:46.119 So I chose to respect that. 0:22:46.320 --> 0:22:50.520 So are his folks not your folks as well? 0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:53.640 Uh? So, our. 0:22:55.280 --> 0:22:59.800 Our dad lives in Scotland, so we don't have any family. 0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:02.520 And then my mother passed away a long time ago, 0:23:03.160 --> 0:23:07.400 very very young. All right, that's very young. 0:23:08.600 --> 0:23:11.280 I don't really remember her, but my brother or my 0:23:11.359 --> 0:23:13.280 dad lives in Scotland and so I'll probably get my 0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:14.440 dad a call at some point in time. 0:23:17.000 --> 0:23:18.800 But yeah, we don't really have any family except each other. 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:21.280 So then who are his folks? 0:23:23.480 --> 0:23:24.320 Sorry, it's folks. 0:23:24.640 --> 0:23:26.880 Yeah, he said he wants to spend time with his folks. 0:23:27.240 --> 0:23:28.240 With his books. 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:32.720 Oh okay, give it, hold on, just can we pause 0:23:32.760 --> 0:23:35.200 for a second chat. Am I stupid? Or did he 0:23:35.440 --> 0:23:39.520 say books? Or am I just crazy? I thought you 0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:41.040 I thought you said folks. 0:23:41.600 --> 0:23:42.760 Oh no, no, I said the books. 0:23:42.760 --> 0:23:45.240 He said he's he's happy to spend his time alone 0:23:45.240 --> 0:23:46.080 with his books. 0:23:46.320 --> 0:23:48.359 Oh crap. Everyone in the chat is telling me that 0:23:48.400 --> 0:23:53.879 they heard books. Ah man, uh man. What's your name again? 0:23:54.960 --> 0:23:56.200 Uh it's it's. 0:23:56.040 --> 0:23:59.800 Not actually, but my my fake name is Jamal Jamal Jamal. 0:24:02.119 --> 0:24:05.160 Oh god, I I Jamal. You're a cool guy man, 0:24:05.200 --> 0:24:07.040 for real. I mean that. I'm not just saying I'm 0:24:07.200 --> 0:24:11.480 just blowing smoke up your ass. I'm I'm impressed by you. 0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:12.440 I'm inspired by you. 0:24:13.520 --> 0:24:14.720 What makes you inspired by me? 0:24:15.280 --> 0:24:18.399 You're going on a hike at six in the morning 0:24:18.440 --> 0:24:21.040 on Thanksgiving? How about that? I mean, do you have 0:24:21.040 --> 0:24:22.640 any friends? Do you have any do you have any 0:24:23.000 --> 0:24:25.320 like anyone else you can spend the day with. You 0:24:25.320 --> 0:24:26.920 have you have any people in your life? 0:24:27.800 --> 0:24:30.760 Yeah, so I have. I have. I have a lot 0:24:30.800 --> 0:24:31.120 of friends. 0:24:31.160 --> 0:24:37.480 Actually, I'm a I'm a bartender, and I'm a relatively 0:24:37.520 --> 0:24:38.440 well known bartender. 0:24:40.720 --> 0:24:41.720 At one point in time, I was. 0:24:41.760 --> 0:24:44.000 I was listed pretty highly in my bartender communities. 0:24:44.000 --> 0:24:46.280 I got listed by Yago's Top one hundred Bartenders in 0:24:46.280 --> 0:24:48.639 America at one point. 0:24:49.320 --> 0:24:50.280 Slight flex there. 0:24:52.160 --> 0:24:55.080 Literally literally and you're literally figuratively flexing. 0:24:56.320 --> 0:25:01.399 Uh, thank you. That's something I struggled with, is complimenting myself. 0:25:01.440 --> 0:25:01.880 So thank you. 0:25:02.640 --> 0:25:04.919 But I do have a lot of friends. Usually what 0:25:05.000 --> 0:25:06.879 happens is is because I never have any family. 0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:09.280 Well I don't really have any family in the area, sorry, 0:25:09.440 --> 0:25:11.840 except for my brother usually travels for work. 0:25:12.480 --> 0:25:14.320 It's rare that he's actually in town for holidays, So 0:25:14.320 --> 0:25:15.440 I usually work holidays. 0:25:15.560 --> 0:25:17.680 Or what I do is I throw like big friends Givings. 0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:22.840 And this is the first year where so like my roommate, 0:25:23.520 --> 0:25:26.159 he's got a new girlfriend, so he's spending Thanksgiving with 0:25:26.200 --> 0:25:27.040 her and her family. 0:25:27.760 --> 0:25:31.919 And then my brother wants to be alone with his books. 0:25:31.920 --> 0:25:34.399 He recently just got dumped, So that's why he's in 0:25:34.440 --> 0:25:36.119 like a weird headspace and he just wants to be alone, 0:25:36.359 --> 0:25:37.360 which is understandable. 0:25:38.400 --> 0:25:40.560 We're all very with the exception of him. We are 0:25:40.600 --> 0:25:41.119 all very. 0:25:40.960 --> 0:25:41.960 Happy that he got dumped. 0:25:42.040 --> 0:25:44.320 She was they sorry they were not a very good 0:25:44.320 --> 0:25:49.960 person for him. But usually I'm the one who's like, hey, 0:25:50.080 --> 0:25:51.880 because I cook a lot, Like, I cook a lot 0:25:51.880 --> 0:25:52.240 of food. 0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:56.520 I cook a lot of French food, Japanese, Italian. 0:25:57.960 --> 0:26:00.280 So usually I just want to cook food and make 0:26:00.320 --> 0:26:02.000 cocktails that invite people over and feed them. 0:26:02.200 --> 0:26:03.560 But this is the first year that all my friends 0:26:03.560 --> 0:26:04.400 are like, yeah, we're. 0:26:04.200 --> 0:26:06.160 Hanging out family or we have this going on. 0:26:09.760 --> 0:26:12.680 I did just I did just make mistakes, so I don't. 0:26:12.680 --> 0:26:13.000 I don't. 0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:14.560 So this is the first year where I'm like, hey, 0:26:14.600 --> 0:26:15.560 I don't have anywhere to go. 0:26:16.320 --> 0:26:18.199 I did just So I walked into the bar that 0:26:18.240 --> 0:26:20.320 I work at and the bars that I'm working with, uh, 0:26:20.400 --> 0:26:22.600 they asked me what I was doing for Thanksgiving and 0:26:22.720 --> 0:26:23.360 sort of saying that. 0:26:23.320 --> 0:26:24.760 I don't have any plans. I was like, oh, I'm 0:26:24.760 --> 0:26:26.639 cooking a bunch of food and they're like, oh, well, 0:26:26.680 --> 0:26:28.639 we have a friends giving going on. Because I said, well, 0:26:28.640 --> 0:26:29.160 what are you doing? 0:26:29.920 --> 0:26:31.240 And they were like, well, we have a friends giving 0:26:31.280 --> 0:26:31.720 that's going on. 0:26:31.760 --> 0:26:34.040 It's kind of like an open invitation that anybody can come, 0:26:35.320 --> 0:26:37.440 which just happened. Maybe I should, Maybe I should go 0:26:37.480 --> 0:26:39.600 to the I don't think I should spend Thanksgiving alone? 0:26:39.640 --> 0:26:40.640 Should I? I? 0:26:40.760 --> 0:26:42.439 Yeah? Why why would you not go to that? 0:26:45.240 --> 0:26:47.760 It's a good point. Why would I not go to that? Good? 0:26:49.840 --> 0:26:53.240 Uh, say, say say yes to life, my friend? Why 0:26:53.320 --> 0:26:55.280 not just go to hang out with your homies? 0:26:56.320 --> 0:26:59.960 That's it's good. It's yeah, it's a good idea. You know, 0:27:00.920 --> 0:27:01.320 when you. 0:27:01.320 --> 0:27:05.280 Have problems in your head or like yep, or like 0:27:05.320 --> 0:27:07.720 you're trying to like figure through something yep. 0:27:08.119 --> 0:27:09.440 Sometimes just saying. 0:27:09.200 --> 0:27:12.600 It out loud yep, you either realize how stupid one 0:27:12.640 --> 0:27:16.119 thing was or you just realize how obvious something else was. 0:27:16.480 --> 0:27:18.560 Right, if you hear it from a you hear it 0:27:18.600 --> 0:27:24.840 from a perspective that's not muddled in subjective thoughts and thought, yeah. 0:27:24.640 --> 0:27:27.040 Yeah, So I can literally just walk back in and 0:27:27.080 --> 0:27:30.360 just be like, hey, I gotta hike with my brother 0:27:30.400 --> 0:27:32.560 tomorrow and then I don't really have any plans that 0:27:32.680 --> 0:27:33.040 on the day. 0:27:33.119 --> 0:27:34.440 Do you mind if I come to your friends giving? 0:27:34.520 --> 0:27:35.600 I'll bringing mac and cheese. 0:27:36.440 --> 0:27:37.360 That sounds wonderful. 0:27:37.400 --> 0:27:37.560 Man. 0:27:37.680 --> 0:27:40.000 Yeah, of course, of course you're gonna have a good time. 0:27:41.080 --> 0:27:43.280 Okay, I think I canna do that good. 0:27:43.720 --> 0:27:46.160 That sounds way better than playing Opera of Time. 0:27:47.280 --> 0:27:52.520 Well, but but as far as tomorrow goes, because tomorrow 0:27:52.520 --> 0:27:54.200 I was just gonna stay at home and watch anime. 0:27:57.600 --> 0:28:00.800 Jamal, is there anything else you want to say to 0:28:00.880 --> 0:28:02.600 the people of the computer before we go? 0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:05.840 Can I ask you one question, Loyle? Do you watch 0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:07.399 anime at all? You know? 0:28:08.240 --> 0:28:10.840 I watched two animes ever in my life, and they 0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:12.640 were both when I was in middle school, and one 0:28:12.640 --> 0:28:15.960 of them was called Sergeant Frog, the main character of that. 0:28:16.200 --> 0:28:18.719 You can actually look that up. He looks exactly like me, 0:28:19.840 --> 0:28:23.400 that sergeant I think, I think in I think in 0:28:23.400 --> 0:28:30.280 in Japan it's called Caroro goonso but uh. And then 0:28:30.600 --> 0:28:33.520 the other one is called Baka Test. I watched that 0:28:33.560 --> 0:28:35.320 when I was in middle school too, But other than that, 0:28:35.359 --> 0:28:37.720 I have not watched any anime. No, it's really just 0:28:37.760 --> 0:28:38.200 those two. 0:28:39.400 --> 0:28:40.840 I was going to say, the new episode of Attack 0:28:40.880 --> 0:28:43.560 on Titan, the final episode of Attack on Titan came out. 0:28:43.920 --> 0:28:48.960 Actually, you know what I am? I actually, uh watched 0:28:48.960 --> 0:28:50.920 a little bit of Attack on Titan. Oh it's a 0:28:50.920 --> 0:28:52.240 little bit, but I haven't kept up. 0:28:53.760 --> 0:28:56.960 Yeah, as a manly man that I am who takes 0:28:57.000 --> 0:29:01.000 testosterone and complains about his his pr of the gym, I. 0:29:00.960 --> 0:29:02.800 Cried during that episode of I think I cried like 0:29:02.800 --> 0:29:04.560 twice during the TECHNA take the last episode. 0:29:04.760 --> 0:29:06.560 Hey, man, I think you know what I think is 0:29:06.600 --> 0:29:12.800 manly as hell? What's up being confident enough to be 0:29:12.960 --> 0:29:14.400 vulnerable in your emotions? 0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:16.000 Thanks? 0:29:16.040 --> 0:29:18.400 So, of course you take care of Jama. 0:29:19.640 --> 0:29:20.320 I really appreciate you. 0:29:20.360 --> 0:29:23.160 Love of course, man, have a have a fun friends giving. Man, 0:29:23.160 --> 0:29:23.920 It's gonna be awesome. 0:29:24.640 --> 0:29:25.040 That will do. 0:29:25.200 --> 0:29:25.480 Thank you? 0:29:26.120 --> 0:29:26.600 Bye bye. 0:29:33.000 --> 0:29:33.760 What's up? Man? 0:29:34.120 --> 0:29:35.560 Hey, what's up dude? What's going on? 0:29:36.800 --> 0:29:39.360 We're just hanging hanging at home. I was watching your 0:29:39.400 --> 0:29:42.600 stream doing some last minute cleaning before a trip. 0:29:42.720 --> 0:29:43.240 Where are you going? 0:29:44.520 --> 0:29:45.000 I'm going. 0:29:45.080 --> 0:29:48.320 I'm gonna. I'm actually gonna be doing a little California 0:29:48.400 --> 0:29:49.280 tour with the band. 0:29:50.600 --> 0:29:55.200 Oh cool man. It says here you wanted to talk 0:29:55.240 --> 0:29:58.360 about eating mushrooms and fighting your demon in space? 0:29:59.360 --> 0:30:01.320 Right, Yeah, we can talk about that. 0:30:01.880 --> 0:30:03.000 Yeah, sure tell me more. 0:30:04.000 --> 0:30:04.120 So. 0:30:04.640 --> 0:30:08.440 This is my first time taking mushrooms, and I had 0:30:08.480 --> 0:30:11.400 private experience with a lot of acid and so I 0:30:11.480 --> 0:30:13.200 was like, hey, you know, I asked a friend, like, 0:30:13.240 --> 0:30:14.680 you know, what's it like, and they're like, oh, it's 0:30:14.680 --> 0:30:17.000 a walk in the park. I had to eat a 0:30:17.000 --> 0:30:20.440 bunch to feel anything, and they're like a bigger person, 0:30:20.480 --> 0:30:25.600 which I didn't take into account, and so whatever the 0:30:25.680 --> 0:30:32.280 day times, get some mushrooms, I eat them, and yeah, 0:30:32.320 --> 0:30:36.280 I just started setting in, really started settling in really good, 0:30:36.320 --> 0:30:42.640 like everything was like moving, squirming around. And then it 0:30:42.760 --> 0:30:44.760 wasn't until I felt the wall starting to closing and 0:30:44.800 --> 0:30:49.640 I had to step outside, and all of a sudden, 0:30:49.680 --> 0:30:51.520 it feels like all the plants, all the trees around 0:30:51.520 --> 0:30:54.080 me are like hovering over my head and they're like 0:30:54.920 --> 0:30:56.680 kind of talking to me. They're trying to say something 0:30:56.720 --> 0:30:57.800 that was so freaky. 0:30:59.280 --> 0:31:01.480 And then what were they trying to tell you? 0:31:02.640 --> 0:31:04.840 I don't know. I mean, so I started to get 0:31:04.880 --> 0:31:07.760 this weird, like interconnected type feeling, right, and I almost 0:31:07.760 --> 0:31:12.280 started to go manic, and I started to say like, yeah, 0:31:12.320 --> 0:31:13.640 I kind of felt like they were telling me this 0:31:13.760 --> 0:31:17.400 weird like oh, we're all connected kind of message and shit. 0:31:19.040 --> 0:31:21.520 And at the same time that this is going on, 0:31:21.600 --> 0:31:24.680 I started to feel like it feels like my head 0:31:24.720 --> 0:31:26.560 is like a big funnel. Like it feels like my 0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:28.520 head is like at the end of a funnel, and 0:31:28.520 --> 0:31:31.600 this funnel is like extending all the way out into 0:31:31.640 --> 0:31:34.840 like space, and I could feel like fucking planets moving 0:31:34.880 --> 0:31:40.000 and the cosmos or whatever the fuck. And yeah, I 0:31:40.120 --> 0:31:42.560 was super strange because then again I started to go manic, 0:31:42.600 --> 0:31:44.520 and I started to think I had like these weird 0:31:45.360 --> 0:31:48.960 fucking like superpower things, and I thought that I could 0:31:48.960 --> 0:31:51.840 like channel Neil the grass Tyson's phone number and just 0:31:51.960 --> 0:31:55.480 talk about like some crazy metaphysical fucking like. 0:31:57.080 --> 0:31:57.640 Yeah, it was. 0:31:57.760 --> 0:32:01.200 It was bizarre anyway, the start coming out when I 0:32:01.280 --> 0:32:08.160 fucking start to like, uh, I grew up kind of religious, 0:32:08.440 --> 0:32:13.480 so I started to associate these like weird likabilities with like, 0:32:14.480 --> 0:32:16.680 you know, the devil and all this shit. And then 0:32:17.600 --> 0:32:19.920 that's when like it was such a weird feeling. It 0:32:20.080 --> 0:32:23.400 was like this demon thing that kind of like down 0:32:23.520 --> 0:32:25.520 It felt like it downloaded itself into my head, and 0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:27.960 it felt like ancient, and it felt like it's been 0:32:28.000 --> 0:32:31.560 through like all these weird civilizations and it's like cursed 0:32:31.560 --> 0:32:32.280 so many people. 0:32:32.400 --> 0:32:32.640 It was. 0:32:32.680 --> 0:32:33.880 It was a freaky feeling. 0:32:35.640 --> 0:32:36.920 What did you say to the demon? 0:32:38.560 --> 0:32:40.320 I don't know it just kind of I wasn't able 0:32:40.320 --> 0:32:41.720 to say anything and kind of just came in and 0:32:41.720 --> 0:32:45.800 told me like, like you know you're you're gonna die, 0:32:45.840 --> 0:32:48.240 like your soul's mind like you've you've like lifted the 0:32:48.360 --> 0:32:50.720 veal on like everything on how it works. So now 0:32:50.920 --> 0:32:52.680 like you got to die because you already know how 0:32:52.680 --> 0:32:53.840 everything works. 0:32:54.240 --> 0:32:55.920 How did you feel when the demon told you you 0:32:55.920 --> 0:32:56.640 were going to die? 0:32:57.440 --> 0:33:00.840 Oh dude, I felt fucking like not but dread. It 0:33:00.880 --> 0:33:06.720 was insane, Like I everything in my vision started to 0:33:06.720 --> 0:33:10.000 turn into like a rotting yellow and everything just started 0:33:10.040 --> 0:33:14.840 to rot. It was so disgusting. And then like, uh 0:33:15.280 --> 0:33:17.520 so whatever, I like walk home and everything's just like 0:33:17.600 --> 0:33:22.680 super depressing and scary, and I get in my bed 0:33:24.080 --> 0:33:26.640 and like my room is just like the super ugly 0:33:26.800 --> 0:33:32.160 like like energy kaleidoscope thing. But then and then when 0:33:32.160 --> 0:33:35.360 I lay down, it feels like it demon like like 0:33:35.440 --> 0:33:38.840 shove the hook up my chin, dude, like gnarhally as fuck. 0:33:38.920 --> 0:33:43.280 Like I literally felt it pierced my chin and it 0:33:43.440 --> 0:33:45.520 told me like and I was trying to barter with it. 0:33:45.560 --> 0:33:46.840 I was like, yo, dude, like I don't mean to 0:33:46.840 --> 0:33:49.520 fuck with you like that, like like I won't I 0:33:49.520 --> 0:33:51.560 won't do this shit again if you just like let. 0:33:51.400 --> 0:33:58.200 Me go and now let me ask you this. How 0:33:58.240 --> 0:34:02.200 long ago is this? This was years ago and a 0:34:02.240 --> 0:34:06.160 couple of weirds after the experience was over. Did you 0:34:06.280 --> 0:34:08.280 learn anything from all the dread that you felt? 0:34:09.280 --> 0:34:12.400 Yeah, So it was actually kind of funny because like 0:34:14.239 --> 0:34:17.360 in the middle of the trip, it like pulls me 0:34:17.400 --> 0:34:19.799 out of my body and like we have this fight 0:34:19.880 --> 0:34:24.680 in space and it's like whatever, we're like evenly matched. 0:34:24.680 --> 0:34:27.120 But then after that it was still kind of like 0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:29.719 haunting me with all these like insecurities I had, and 0:34:29.800 --> 0:34:32.200 it was just really weird, like shit that I would like, 0:34:33.360 --> 0:34:34.799 I noticed that all the shit that it was telling 0:34:34.880 --> 0:34:37.480 me was like shit that I would like like put 0:34:37.520 --> 0:34:39.920 out on other people or other things, like I remember there, 0:34:39.920 --> 0:34:42.880 I can't remember exactly, but there's this weird, really weird 0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:46.080 moment where the demon kind of said like I'm lame, 0:34:46.320 --> 0:34:49.000 like Jake Paul or something like that along those lines, 0:34:49.000 --> 0:34:52.400 and I was like, fuck, like wait a minute. And 0:34:52.440 --> 0:34:54.880 then so yeah, towards the end of the trip, what 0:34:54.920 --> 0:34:58.680 I learned was like that demon was kind of just 0:34:58.719 --> 0:35:00.359 me and all the negativity that was like like in 0:35:00.480 --> 0:35:04.560 my head and in myself, you know, and I feel 0:35:04.600 --> 0:35:06.920 like I kind of got like a wrath of my 0:35:07.000 --> 0:35:10.360 own negativity. So after that, I learned, just don't be 0:35:10.400 --> 0:35:10.719 a dick. 0:35:12.000 --> 0:35:16.799 Now, after you encountered this demon that was a representation 0:35:16.880 --> 0:35:19.680 of all of your negativity, did it cause you to 0:35:21.320 --> 0:35:24.280 take control of that and become less negative? 0:35:25.239 --> 0:35:25.520 Yeah? 0:35:25.560 --> 0:35:28.839 For sure, for sure. I mean, dude, it was like, yeah, 0:35:28.880 --> 0:35:31.680 it was scary as fuck. So I kind of I 0:35:31.719 --> 0:35:34.120 think I did kind of whip my own ass with that. 0:35:35.120 --> 0:35:36.719 And yeah, I'm not I'm not that big of a 0:35:36.719 --> 0:35:39.520 dick anymore, I think. So I still talk shit, I 0:35:39.520 --> 0:35:43.320 still I'm still very opinion opinion Native opinion. 0:35:44.680 --> 0:35:47.239 Has the demon reappeared at all in the years since 0:35:47.239 --> 0:35:51.160 you took the mushrooms? 0:35:51.880 --> 0:35:55.520 Not yet, but I think it will because it's really 0:35:56.120 --> 0:35:58.399 you know, it's funny. Towards at the end of the trip, 0:35:58.440 --> 0:36:01.000 when it finally left my head, it did this really 0:36:01.000 --> 0:36:05.080 weird thing where like I was eating a bag of 0:36:05.160 --> 0:36:07.960 chips right like it had already left my body, and 0:36:08.000 --> 0:36:09.959 it started talking to me through like a family guy 0:36:10.200 --> 0:36:11.200 fucking episode. 0:36:11.600 --> 0:36:14.439 And then it finally, wait, hold on, this demon, you said, 0:36:14.440 --> 0:36:17.719 this demon started talking to you through a family guy episode? 0:36:18.200 --> 0:36:21.520 Yeah, dude, like it was. Honestly, it sounds like it was. 0:36:21.640 --> 0:36:24.160 It might have been like a schizo episode or something. 0:36:24.200 --> 0:36:26.880 It was insane. Anyway, what is that? 0:36:27.000 --> 0:36:27.640 What does that mean? 0:36:29.280 --> 0:36:32.400 Like a schizophrenic episode? It might have been a schizophrenic episode. 0:36:33.880 --> 0:36:36.040 No, but like when you saw a demon talking to 0:36:36.080 --> 0:36:38.840 you through a Family Guy like you were watching Oh. 0:36:38.719 --> 0:36:44.600 Yeah, yeah, So I was watching Family Guy and I 0:36:44.640 --> 0:36:48.880 just started thinking of like I was like, dude, like, 0:36:48.920 --> 0:36:52.680 where the hell is this even going? You know, you know, 0:36:52.760 --> 0:36:55.040 it's like talking the demon in my head. And then 0:36:55.160 --> 0:36:57.040 as soon as I thought that, it kind of like 0:36:58.480 --> 0:37:01.719 Stewie just like burst into this like this wall in 0:37:01.880 --> 0:37:05.000 flames and he was like on fire and it was 0:37:05.040 --> 0:37:08.160 like this super like hellish depiction. It was so strange. 0:37:08.760 --> 0:37:10.480 And then at the same time, like all the characters 0:37:10.480 --> 0:37:12.960 started laughing, and it felt like they were like mocking me. 0:37:13.120 --> 0:37:15.160 You know, it felt like the demon was like kind 0:37:15.160 --> 0:37:18.280 of communicating all that shit to me through the freaking TV. 0:37:18.520 --> 0:37:19.080 Is strange? 0:37:19.800 --> 0:37:21.400 Have you watched Family Guy at all? Since? 0:37:22.280 --> 0:37:24.200 No, it was kind of freaky. It still kind of 0:37:24.200 --> 0:37:25.120 does freak me out. 0:37:27.920 --> 0:37:32.960 But how are you doing nowadays? Like this was all 0:37:32.960 --> 0:37:36.200 four years ago? Do you feel like, how's your development 0:37:36.239 --> 0:37:38.279 sort of been with this in the past three years? 0:37:38.960 --> 0:37:41.719 I feel like my head's a lot like I'm like 0:37:41.760 --> 0:37:45.880 in a more how do I say? I feel like 0:37:45.920 --> 0:37:50.480 I have my head screwed on pretty damn good from 0:37:50.520 --> 0:37:54.160 since then. Yeah, for sure, Like I have this weird 0:37:54.480 --> 0:37:58.200 like thing where I think, especially with psychedelics, And obviously 0:37:58.239 --> 0:38:01.279 this doesn't apply to anybody, like it's not anything to 0:38:01.320 --> 0:38:04.759 mess around with. But I think the more insane you go, 0:38:06.440 --> 0:38:09.000 the more like level headed you come back, you know, 0:38:09.200 --> 0:38:11.040 or and that goes just for life in general. You 0:38:11.040 --> 0:38:13.120 got to go through some really crazy shit to really 0:38:13.160 --> 0:38:15.239 like screw your head on, right, you. 0:38:15.200 --> 0:38:19.279 Know, I, I know I appreciate that. Right, you have 0:38:19.360 --> 0:38:21.640 to go a little bit insane. You got to go 0:38:21.719 --> 0:38:25.360 on that hero's journey of insanity where you kind of 0:38:25.360 --> 0:38:30.000 actually go into the into the deep basement of your 0:38:30.000 --> 0:38:33.320 brain in order for your back and be a regular 0:38:33.400 --> 0:38:36.839 person that you know, stops at stop signs and goes 0:38:36.880 --> 0:38:39.239 to the grocery stats and says hello to people. You 0:38:39.280 --> 0:38:42.600 gotta I don't trust anyone who hasn't gone at least 0:38:42.640 --> 0:38:45.480 a little bit insane at some point in their lives. 0:38:45.920 --> 0:38:47.400 You know, you got to do that in order to 0:38:47.440 --> 0:38:50.880 return to some form of normalcy. 0:38:51.800 --> 0:38:54.680 Yeah, like fucking break down your tower of whatever the 0:38:54.680 --> 0:38:55.279 hell you're built. 0:38:57.239 --> 0:38:58.080 What's your name again? 0:38:59.560 --> 0:39:00.520 My name John? 0:39:01.320 --> 0:39:04.000 John? John? Thanks for talking to me about all this stuff. 0:39:04.040 --> 0:39:05.600 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:39:05.640 --> 0:39:11.280 people of the computer before we go? Take it easy, dude, 0:39:11.480 --> 0:39:14.200 but take it thanks, John. 0:39:16.200 --> 0:39:17.080 Have a good one. 0:39:21.960 --> 0:39:24.160 All from Lucy. 0:39:25.640 --> 0:39:30.600 Hello, Hello, what's up? 0:39:32.640 --> 0:39:33.000 Nah? 0:39:33.320 --> 0:39:33.799 No way? 0:39:34.760 --> 0:39:35.480 Is this Lucy? 0:39:36.600 --> 0:39:37.520 It is Lucy? 0:39:38.239 --> 0:39:40.520 Lucy? How you doing? Can you? Can you take me 0:39:40.600 --> 0:39:44.080 off of the speaker phone and the all the do 0:39:44.120 --> 0:39:47.120 all the stuff for us to be on the phone together. 0:39:48.320 --> 0:39:49.600 There we go? Is that better? 0:39:50.480 --> 0:39:53.040 Sure? Is Lucy? What's going on? 0:39:55.000 --> 0:39:58.000 I'm just doing some late night cleaning, I guess, even 0:39:58.040 --> 0:39:59.120 though it's not really late. 0:39:59.200 --> 0:40:06.560 Where I'm at, where you're at in the universe, I don't. 0:40:06.600 --> 0:40:07.840 I don't really know, honestly. 0:40:08.520 --> 0:40:12.080 But you don't have to. You don't have to tell me. 0:40:12.239 --> 0:40:13.560 But you I mean you. 0:40:13.480 --> 0:40:17.400 Know, Oh, I mean, I mean I'm in Iaho. So 0:40:17.520 --> 0:40:19.240 that's it's good. 0:40:19.360 --> 0:40:19.840 It's fun. 0:40:20.160 --> 0:40:21.680 It's a big potato place. 0:40:23.040 --> 0:40:23.239 You know. 0:40:23.880 --> 0:40:26.480 Where I'm around. It's a lot of wheat. 0:40:26.600 --> 0:40:31.160 I have never seen a potato farm, so I'm sure 0:40:31.200 --> 0:40:32.800 it is. So, I'm sure there's lots of potato. 0:40:34.560 --> 0:40:35.520 I do see a lot of wheat. 0:40:35.760 --> 0:40:39.920 Yeah, what's going on with you? Lucy? How how how 0:40:40.120 --> 0:40:44.000 can I? How can I get you this evening? 0:40:44.840 --> 0:40:51.080 Oh my gosh, Well, I don't know. My everything in 0:40:51.120 --> 0:40:54.760 my apartment is pretty much like broken, So that's nice. 0:40:55.440 --> 0:40:59.880 Mm hmmm. But I'm sure that you what sense broken? 0:41:01.760 --> 0:41:05.080 Well, you know, my bathroom synk doesn't work when turning on, 0:41:05.239 --> 0:41:08.440 it leaks and then there's like a puddle in my bathroom, 0:41:08.440 --> 0:41:10.120 like one of my cabinets fell off the ceiling. 0:41:11.560 --> 0:41:14.239 So it's it's a work in progress. 0:41:16.280 --> 0:41:18.640 Do you feel worthy of nice things? 0:41:19.880 --> 0:41:23.040 I do, honestly, Yeah, especially for how much they charge 0:41:23.040 --> 0:41:23.399 for rent. 0:41:24.080 --> 0:41:31.120 That's good. That's good. Sometimes my toilet clogs, and I'm like, 0:41:31.480 --> 0:41:37.440 I really, in my gut know that I deserve it. 0:41:37.560 --> 0:41:39.400 Oh, you feel like you deserve your toilet? 0:41:41.160 --> 0:41:44.840 Every time? Every time I go to flush and the 0:41:44.880 --> 0:41:49.279 water fills back up and it's diarrhea water. I'm always Oh, 0:41:49.400 --> 0:41:51.799 I always look at it and go, That's what I 0:41:51.920 --> 0:41:52.920 fucking get. 0:41:55.000 --> 0:41:57.879 Why Why do you feel like you deserve That's that's 0:41:57.880 --> 0:41:58.360 what's saying. 0:41:58.920 --> 0:42:01.240 I don't know. I feel like it happened if I didn't. 0:42:01.480 --> 0:42:05.640 I feel like getting your toilet clogged with diarrhea water 0:42:05.800 --> 0:42:08.319 is something that only happens to people who deserve it. 0:42:09.800 --> 0:42:11.880 Maybe next time you'll just have to like learn to 0:42:12.200 --> 0:42:14.120 midway flush. 0:42:14.200 --> 0:42:16.600 What's the mid Oh you know what? That's the way? Yeah, 0:42:16.640 --> 0:42:19.279 I'm dumb, is like, I. Yeah, you got a midway flush. 0:42:19.320 --> 0:42:20.680 You got to do two flushes. You gotta do one 0:42:20.760 --> 0:42:22.640 to get the diarrhea down and then another one to 0:42:22.680 --> 0:42:25.280 get the well I start. I got to a point 0:42:25.320 --> 0:42:28.840 where I was using paper towels instead of toilet paper. 0:42:29.880 --> 0:42:32.960 And that's a recipe for right. I deserve it. I 0:42:33.000 --> 0:42:38.399 deserve it. The more information they give you, yeah, I do. 0:42:38.520 --> 0:42:43.919 And that's okay. When you when you and that's better. 0:42:43.960 --> 0:42:46.760 I don't fight it. I don't go when my diarrhea 0:42:46.760 --> 0:42:49.040 toilet clogs up, I don't go. Oh my goodness, woe 0:42:49.200 --> 0:42:51.360 is me? Why is this happening to me of all people? 0:42:52.080 --> 0:42:55.080 I go, yeah, that makes sense, Yeah that happens. 0:42:57.160 --> 0:42:57.359 Yeah. 0:42:57.960 --> 0:42:59.880 Sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm. 0:43:00.120 --> 0:43:01.960 I look to forgive yourself. 0:43:02.840 --> 0:43:07.440 Yeah yeah, yeah. Sometimes I look in the mirror and 0:43:07.520 --> 0:43:11.360 I look horrible, and I'm like I'm like, I deserve 0:43:11.440 --> 0:43:13.960 that too. I eat a lot of meat Lover's pizza today. 0:43:15.920 --> 0:43:18.400 These aren't things, these aren't massive. I actually think these 0:43:18.680 --> 0:43:20.960 are not problems. This is these are all good things. 0:43:21.000 --> 0:43:26.440 These are all like I'm at. It's peaceful. There's a 0:43:26.520 --> 0:43:31.520 real peace in looking at the diarrhea toilet and understanding 0:43:31.560 --> 0:43:37.239 that you deserve it. There's tension when you look at 0:43:37.280 --> 0:43:39.600 the diarrhea toilet and you go, oh my god, why 0:43:39.640 --> 0:43:41.400 is this happening? This is disgusting, this is I know, 0:43:42.520 --> 0:43:44.360 you know what I mean, like when you fight it 0:43:46.880 --> 0:43:50.240 and it's much better to just accept it and then go, Okay, 0:43:50.239 --> 0:43:51.960 I need to now deal with this. This is an 0:43:52.000 --> 0:43:54.239 event happening in my life that I have brought upon 0:43:54.360 --> 0:43:59.640 myself through negligence, and I am going to assess the situation. 0:43:59.719 --> 0:44:03.920 And that's how when adult deals with a clogged diarrhea toilet. 0:44:05.280 --> 0:44:07.360 You are right, I know that exactly. It's like you 0:44:07.560 --> 0:44:10.920 accept the pure chaos your life is at that moment 0:44:10.960 --> 0:44:13.080 and you're just it's just what it is. 0:44:15.360 --> 0:44:22.520 Hm. Hmm is there anything? Is there anything that I 0:44:22.560 --> 0:44:25.080 can help you with at this at this moment or 0:44:25.320 --> 0:44:25.759 try to. 0:44:27.640 --> 0:44:32.400 Hmmm, Well, I don't know sometimes you have like a 0:44:32.440 --> 0:44:34.960 prompt I feel like I need an intriguing question. 0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:36.400 No, I don't have prompts anymore. 0:44:37.719 --> 0:44:38.880 You don't have anymore? 0:44:39.800 --> 0:44:40.879 Yeah, should I bring him back? 0:44:41.880 --> 0:44:44.839 You should? Because I just started listening from like the 0:44:44.840 --> 0:44:48.400 beginning of your episodes. Yeah, you still three or so 0:44:48.560 --> 0:44:49.800 weeks ago or something. 0:44:51.360 --> 0:44:55.160 I just don't like. I got bored of them after 0:44:55.160 --> 0:44:57.480 a while, Like, well, what are some good prompts? 0:44:58.239 --> 0:44:58.640 Hm hmm. 0:45:01.440 --> 0:45:02.799 I don't you know. 0:45:03.520 --> 0:45:06.279 That's a great question exactly that could that could be. 0:45:06.400 --> 0:45:11.399 Prompt prompts are limiting. Prompts are like, all right, we're 0:45:11.400 --> 0:45:14.840 gonna go deep into something. In when I was in 0:45:14.920 --> 0:45:18.880 high school, I learned about this might all be a 0:45:19.360 --> 0:45:23.040 fucking lie. In high school, I learned about why certain 0:45:23.080 --> 0:45:27.000 people in the US government when it was being founded, 0:45:27.560 --> 0:45:33.560 why they opposed the Bill of Rights. And I've learned 0:45:33.600 --> 0:45:36.200 that some people had issues with the Bill of Rights 0:45:36.200 --> 0:45:40.640 because they thought that if the Bill of if, if 0:45:40.680 --> 0:45:48.240 our rights were defined narrowly, it would leave other rights 0:45:49.239 --> 0:45:51.279 off the table. You know what I'm saying, Like, if 0:45:51.320 --> 0:45:54.680 we had like the the the more elastic the document, 0:45:55.239 --> 0:45:57.960 the broader our rights as people would be. And if 0:45:58.000 --> 0:46:01.160 and if our rights were you know, build out one 0:46:01.239 --> 0:46:05.200 through ten, then they would be these specific rights and 0:46:05.239 --> 0:46:07.040 then all of a sudden it would be like, well, 0:46:07.040 --> 0:46:08.560 that's not on the Bill of Rights, so you don't 0:46:08.560 --> 0:46:09.760 have the right to it, you know what I'm saying. 0:46:10.880 --> 0:46:11.560 I do so. 0:46:15.000 --> 0:46:18.279 Yeah, well so for it's like the prompt, it's like 0:46:18.320 --> 0:46:20.200 what it's like the problem that people have at the 0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:22.359 Bill of Rights. It's like, well, what if somebody wants 0:46:22.400 --> 0:46:27.040 to tell a story that's not you know, wins the 0:46:27.080 --> 0:46:31.960 time that you felt. I don't know, I can't even 0:46:32.000 --> 0:46:33.880 think of a fake prompt to do it. But like 0:46:33.920 --> 0:46:38.040 if the prompts, they exclude all things that are not 0:46:38.760 --> 0:46:41.040 within the prompt, and that's why I always took a 0:46:41.080 --> 0:46:42.400 shue with them. 0:46:43.160 --> 0:46:45.480 I mean, that's valid. You could have a prompt and 0:46:45.480 --> 0:46:49.000 be and say or open ended what you'd like to 0:46:49.000 --> 0:46:52.279 talk about, right, But I guess that's a lot more 0:46:52.320 --> 0:46:55.680 words and that's lot more energy, So that's hard. 0:46:56.520 --> 0:46:56.719 You know. 0:46:56.800 --> 0:46:58.880 Look, sometimes I do this stream and I'm like, I 0:46:58.920 --> 0:47:02.640 don't know if this is this went well, But then 0:47:02.680 --> 0:47:05.960 other times I'm like, this was really interesting. I'm looking 0:47:06.000 --> 0:47:10.640 forward to having, you know, people listen to this, and 0:47:10.719 --> 0:47:11.320 that's okay. 0:47:12.719 --> 0:47:13.080 It is. 0:47:13.200 --> 0:47:13.799 It really is. 0:47:13.840 --> 0:47:16.600 Sometimes you can't have every moment, can't be extremely exciting, 0:47:16.640 --> 0:47:19.759 because then there are no exciting moments. 0:47:20.239 --> 0:47:21.839 I like the way you think, Lucy. 0:47:22.640 --> 0:47:25.240 Thank you. I feel like we're on the same page. 0:47:25.640 --> 0:47:27.600 I do too. I actually feel listens. 0:47:27.280 --> 0:47:31.400 To Wow, thank you, that's a great compliment. 0:47:36.440 --> 0:47:40.560 Well, glad your house is clean. That's awesome. 0:47:42.640 --> 0:47:45.279 Yeah, it's still a work in progress. But like even 0:47:45.320 --> 0:47:47.640 if your cabinet falls off the ceiling, you can still 0:47:47.640 --> 0:47:49.560 make it a good day. It's a better day now. 0:47:50.840 --> 0:47:52.200 No, it sounds like a shit day. 0:47:53.239 --> 0:47:54.920 It kind of is a shit day. But most of 0:47:54.960 --> 0:47:57.600 my days we're kind of shitty, So. 0:47:59.000 --> 0:48:00.120 It's okay. 0:48:01.200 --> 0:48:02.600 Lucy. Is there anything else you want to say to 0:48:02.600 --> 0:48:03.920 the people of the computer before we go? 0:48:06.320 --> 0:48:12.120 Hmmm, I don't I don't know. I think I'm going 0:48:12.200 --> 0:48:13.640 to tell them that they need to brush their teeth 0:48:13.640 --> 0:48:18.920 before they go to bed. Who everyone, you brush your 0:48:18.920 --> 0:48:19.960 teeth before you go to bed. 0:48:20.400 --> 0:48:21.279 No, you don't have to do that. 0:48:21.360 --> 0:48:23.520 Ship your teeth. 0:48:23.560 --> 0:48:28.360 You're gonna get cavities then, yeah, well already I have four. 0:48:28.200 --> 0:48:29.680 So you have four cavities. 0:48:31.719 --> 0:48:33.680 My teeth are in a lot of pain at the times. 0:48:33.880 --> 0:48:38.440 Like you're a bit of a hypocrite, Lucy. 0:48:37.440 --> 0:48:40.319 I might be projecting my problems onto the people at 0:48:40.320 --> 0:48:42.840 the stream, and I apologize all the time. 0:48:46.120 --> 0:48:48.239 Maybe that'll be my next question. Maybe that'll be my 0:48:48.280 --> 0:48:50.720 next prompt, is that do you brush your teeth? 0:48:52.320 --> 0:48:52.560 Well? 0:48:52.680 --> 0:48:58.480 Oh okay, I would be interested to see how that 0:48:58.520 --> 0:48:58.960 worked out. 0:48:59.719 --> 0:49:02.399 Have a the rest of the night, Lucy, you too, 0:49:03.280 --> 0:49:04.640 I will I'll see you later. 0:49:04.719 --> 0:49:12.879 Get by, dude, Hey, what's up? 0:49:14.280 --> 0:49:16.879 Not much. I am in the middle of a Legal 0:49:16.960 --> 0:49:18.920 Legends game. But it's okay. 0:49:21.040 --> 0:49:22.920 You're in the middle of a League of Legends game, 0:49:23.920 --> 0:49:26.080 I am, Is it ranked? 0:49:26.880 --> 0:49:27.399 It is? 0:49:28.680 --> 0:49:32.120 Well, you're gonna have to take a couple of points 0:49:32.920 --> 0:49:34.480 of a hit, are you? 0:49:34.520 --> 0:49:34.759 Are you? 0:49:34.920 --> 0:49:36.640 Are you good? Are you good? 0:49:37.239 --> 0:49:37.439 Oh? 0:49:37.520 --> 0:49:38.440 Yeah, I'm good? 0:49:38.719 --> 0:49:41.960 All right? How do you? I don't get you know? 0:49:42.000 --> 0:49:45.640 What is okay? This is unrelated to any anything, but 0:49:45.760 --> 0:49:48.680 well I actually know it is. But okay, So League 0:49:48.680 --> 0:49:51.120 of Legends and DODA and like these what do you 0:49:51.160 --> 0:49:55.800 call them MOBA's games? Yeah, they're like the most popular 0:49:56.200 --> 0:50:01.320 esport in the world, right, Like there's BA in Korea 0:50:01.360 --> 0:50:04.799 that are where it's like more popular than football and 0:50:04.800 --> 0:50:07.000 it's like on the TV and stuff. But I don't 0:50:07.080 --> 0:50:13.560 understand that, because I would think that the most popular 0:50:13.719 --> 0:50:19.200 spectator esport would be something that anybody could look at 0:50:19.200 --> 0:50:21.920 the TV and know what the fuck's going on, like 0:50:21.960 --> 0:50:24.640 Street Like. You could have no idea what video games 0:50:24.640 --> 0:50:27.160 are and look at Street Fighter and go, okay if 0:50:27.200 --> 0:50:29.799 the other if one of the guys dies, that guy 0:50:29.840 --> 0:50:33.560 probably loses. But when I look at Mobile, I have 0:50:33.760 --> 0:50:37.120 no idea what is going on at all. So it's 0:50:37.200 --> 0:50:40.920 very surprising to me that it's so ferociously popular as 0:50:40.960 --> 0:50:43.160 a spectator sport. 0:50:44.320 --> 0:50:47.239 Honestly, I think it's legal legend. Players also don't know 0:50:47.239 --> 0:50:49.839 what's going on, so I think it helps because we're 0:50:49.880 --> 0:50:53.719 also just really lost and we're just pinging everywhere. But 0:50:53.880 --> 0:50:56.640 I think it's like the skill cap is so high. 0:50:56.719 --> 0:50:58.680 People are like, wow, I could never do that, but 0:50:58.719 --> 0:51:00.960 it's like, you really just got log in and lose. 0:51:00.960 --> 0:51:01.759 That's all I do. 0:51:02.160 --> 0:51:06.120 I'm realizing now I could say the same thing about baseball. 0:51:06.680 --> 0:51:09.760 So anyway, what's your name again? 0:51:11.040 --> 0:51:11.800 It's Ashley. 0:51:12.320 --> 0:51:15.160 Ashley. You sent me a text and you just say 0:51:15.600 --> 0:51:19.839 all you said was is my coworker cringe? Or am 0:51:19.920 --> 0:51:20.799 I a hater? 0:51:22.200 --> 0:51:25.319 I didn't know how much to put like I didn't 0:51:25.360 --> 0:51:27.359 know if I could like just like put a wall 0:51:27.400 --> 0:51:28.560 of text, but I didn't like. 0:51:28.520 --> 0:51:32.319 What what you wall of text me with your words? 0:51:33.480 --> 0:51:37.920 Okay, okay cool. So I have a coworker and I 0:51:38.400 --> 0:51:41.480 just don't know if I like have like a distaste 0:51:41.520 --> 0:51:46.200 towards her because she just kind of does really just annoying, 0:51:46.719 --> 0:51:51.560 not herful, just like cringe things, just like seven does things. 0:51:51.760 --> 0:51:54.520 I'm just like, I can't believe you're saying that, like 0:51:54.600 --> 0:51:58.120 to people you don't really really know. We have a 0:51:58.120 --> 0:52:03.000 pretty cushy, cozy dob. So we work. We work in 0:52:03.080 --> 0:52:05.120 a really cozy job, like our boss is great. It's 0:52:05.120 --> 0:52:08.719 an office jobs, very very easy, very cozy, you know, 0:52:08.760 --> 0:52:13.600 it's it's nothing crazy. And uh, I think somebody was 0:52:13.640 --> 0:52:17.080 like heaven, like just like a a day or something 0:52:17.160 --> 0:52:19.160 like that. It's like it wasn't a bad day. They 0:52:19.160 --> 0:52:21.800 were just like, oh, it's like so it's like tiring, 0:52:21.840 --> 0:52:24.840 it's like dragging on and they were like, oh, you 0:52:24.880 --> 0:52:27.839 should take a half day. You're mentals more important than 0:52:27.880 --> 0:52:32.399 this job. Just like what, oh girl, come on, it's 0:52:32.440 --> 0:52:36.920 like it's it's I came apartment, come down or to 0:52:37.080 --> 0:52:40.520 like randomly like I'll like talk to one of my 0:52:40.560 --> 0:52:43.000 coworkers that they asked me for help and I'm like, oh, 0:52:43.080 --> 0:52:45.399 this is how you do X y Z. And they'll 0:52:45.440 --> 0:52:48.440 be like they'll go to that coworker that, like, you know, 0:52:48.520 --> 0:52:51.680 asked a question and they're like, you're here for a reason. 0:52:52.120 --> 0:52:55.440 I'm so proud of you. I'm like, please, like, don't 0:52:55.520 --> 0:52:58.920 talk to me like we're children. That's so cringe. It's like, 0:52:59.040 --> 0:53:01.360 and I get there just to be like really nice 0:53:01.400 --> 0:53:05.239 and hopeful. It's just like it's a bit patronizing, I 0:53:05.280 --> 0:53:07.799 feel like. And it's also just like we're not in 0:53:07.840 --> 0:53:11.319 the trenches, we're not in the coal mine, like we're 0:53:11.360 --> 0:53:12.560 just getting at her death. 0:53:12.480 --> 0:53:15.440 Answer you now, you should put it. You should put 0:53:15.480 --> 0:53:20.040 laxative in her coffee. That's my it's my official declaration. 0:53:20.280 --> 0:53:25.359 That's my official answer to this inquiry. No I am 0:53:27.239 --> 0:53:29.520 I'm gonna be I'm gonna be so honest with you, Ashley. 0:53:30.320 --> 0:53:32.520 You seem like a nice person. I have no idea 0:53:32.560 --> 0:53:36.319 what you just said at all. Oh I really have no. No, No, 0:53:36.440 --> 0:53:38.400 it's not it's not your fault. It's probably mine, But 0:53:38.560 --> 0:53:41.320 I am no, I have no idea what you just said. 0:53:41.440 --> 0:53:46.960 And I think that this person and you are both 0:53:47.120 --> 0:53:47.680 How old are you? 0:53:49.080 --> 0:53:50.440 I'm twenty six. 0:53:50.680 --> 0:53:53.040 All right, So you don't you don't you have how 0:53:53.160 --> 0:53:57.480 much long do you have left to live? Fifty? You 0:53:57.520 --> 0:53:59.799 at least fifty years left to live, and so does she. 0:54:00.120 --> 0:54:01.200 One day? 0:54:01.719 --> 0:54:03.600 But what one day? Both of you guys are going 0:54:03.680 --> 0:54:06.920 to be fucking dead, and nothing that you ever said 0:54:07.040 --> 0:54:11.440 or did will matter, including any of the cringey or 0:54:11.600 --> 0:54:14.359 profound things that either of you said. And so if 0:54:14.360 --> 0:54:17.360 this woman wants to tell people to quit their jobs 0:54:17.440 --> 0:54:23.080 because they're sad, or wants to talk to everyone like 0:54:23.120 --> 0:54:26.759 a kindergartener, let her do her things she's got she's like. 0:54:26.960 --> 0:54:29.839 Treat her, Treat her like she's a dying old man, 0:54:29.920 --> 0:54:32.920 because she's just a young version of that. And if 0:54:32.960 --> 0:54:36.480 a dying old man was saying a bunch of crazy stuff, 0:54:36.520 --> 0:54:38.880 you just you would just let him. He's fuck it, 0:54:38.880 --> 0:54:41.400 he's gonna die. So look at her like she's a 0:54:41.480 --> 0:54:45.560 dying old man and that everything she does is sacred 0:54:45.560 --> 0:54:50.440 and amazing, and you know, go to work and then 0:54:50.480 --> 0:54:53.000 go home and play League of Legends. This is a 0:54:53.040 --> 0:54:56.360 great So this call make is making me happy for 0:54:56.400 --> 0:54:58.719 you because you have such a great life that you 0:54:58.760 --> 0:55:02.839 can do that so does any of what I said. 0:55:02.880 --> 0:55:04.960 Just I really feel like I just made a lot 0:55:05.000 --> 0:55:05.759 of sense just now. 0:55:06.640 --> 0:55:08.280 Yeah, No, I think it's been eye opening. 0:55:08.920 --> 0:55:14.239 Good are you It sounds like you're still playing. I 0:55:14.239 --> 0:55:15.640 heard some keyboard clicks. 0:55:16.760 --> 0:55:18.239 Yeah, we're crushing it. 0:55:18.760 --> 0:55:20.600 Okay, Well, I'm gonna let you get back the league. 0:55:20.640 --> 0:55:21.759 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:55:21.760 --> 0:55:23.120 people in the computer before we go. 0:55:23.080 --> 0:55:27.680 Ashley, No, I think I think we have an understanding. 0:55:28.040 --> 0:55:30.040 Okay, good, Well, have a good rest of the night. 0:55:30.800 --> 0:55:34.759 Well, thank you so much, have a great day. 0:55:35.120 --> 0:55:37.160 That made so much sense what I just said. 0:55:37.800 --> 0:55:41.879 Neverbacon goes on the line making calls every night. 0:55:42.320 --> 0:55:45.399 Every Beacon goes to just teaching yours loud 0:55:45.440 --> 0:55:51.359 In the mean of your life.