Speaker 1: Native Land Pod is a production of iHeartRadio in partnership
Speaker 1: with Reason Choice Media. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Speaker 2: All right, welcome home, everybody. Welcome to today's mini pod.
Speaker 3: We are going to be queering ourselves about something that
Speaker 3: not so political, much more personal and maybe some of
Speaker 3: you all can relate to. Have you ever been, I
Speaker 3: don't know, thought of in your family, your friend group,
Speaker 3: your circle as the solver, as the person gets it done,
Speaker 3: as the person once you mention it, that person.
Speaker 2: Lights up and jumps to it.
Speaker 3: Well, of the three of us, I think all three
Speaker 3: of us have been that amongst our respective circles. And
Speaker 3: so today we want to talk a little bit about
Speaker 3: whether or not we are just doing too much, and
Speaker 3: if we are, why we might be feeling compelled to
Speaker 3: do too much or anything. I always think about these things, ladies,
Speaker 3: as being you know, sort of unhealed traumas.
Speaker 2: Of our past.
Speaker 3: And I don't know if that's true or not, but
Speaker 3: but I think we often look at we often see
Speaker 3: people look at people who jump to it, who get
Speaker 3: things done through the sympathetic lens of they just like
Speaker 3: to solve problems versus what is I think probably a
Speaker 3: truer scenario that we've got some things we've got to
Speaker 3: solve for ourselves, and our and our inability to do
Speaker 3: that for ourselves, it's much.
Speaker 2: Easier to do it for other people.
Speaker 3: But I'm curious to know if y'all have a thought
Speaker 3: on that, and if I've set that up properly, I
Speaker 3: may not.
Speaker 4: Have, I think so. I think that resonates with me.
Speaker 3: So if that's the case, then Angelau, we will start
Speaker 3: with you define yourself on this spectrum of solve all
Speaker 3: the problems to Oh, I'll just sit and wait till
Speaker 3: you tell me to do something. Yeah, oh, I already
Speaker 3: know you ain't that ain't w but love to hear
Speaker 3: where you think you are.
Speaker 1: You know, I will tell you. I don't know where
Speaker 1: where the trauma came from. But that is when you
Speaker 1: said that is deeply resonant. There's a side of me
Speaker 1: that feels like my dad required us to show up
Speaker 1: for family. And because of how black folks families are,
Speaker 1: they extend far beyond the bloodline, and so you know,
Speaker 1: if there was a need, you step up and you
Speaker 1: meet the need, whether it's communal, cultural, or in your
Speaker 1: intermediate family and I mentioned on our main podcast that
Speaker 1: Tiff was like not she wasn't like why you do that?
Speaker 1: But essentially that was the conversation, like have you thought
Speaker 1: about why you do that?
Speaker 4: And it makes me.
Speaker 1: Really emotional because I can't think of a time where
Speaker 1: I have stood up for myself with the fierceness and
Speaker 1: the quickness that I will for anybody and almost everybody else.
Speaker 1: I was suspended in the seventh grade for fighting someone
Speaker 1: else's fine, right, like I literally and and if I
Speaker 1: even with my own father, if there's something where he
Speaker 1: wants me to do something, I feel really bad telling
Speaker 1: him no. And I've had to work on that in therapy.
Speaker 1: What does that have to do with steping into crises.
Speaker 1: I actually love solving crises. I love a crisis response,
Speaker 1: and it's because I think, deep down I want to
Speaker 1: be helpful. I think probably the inner child in me
Speaker 1: is like, help me that same way. And I don't
Speaker 1: know how. I only know how to perform for other people.
Speaker 1: I think it has been a journey that I'm far
Speaker 1: from finishing to step up for myself in the same way.
Speaker 2: Interesting.
Speaker 5: Well, I'll say about me, but I want to say
Speaker 5: this about Angela.
Speaker 2: I think we shouldn't.
Speaker 3: We shouldn't, we shouldn't comment on her yet.
Speaker 2: No, I want us to reserve it to.
Speaker 4: Our make a comment. I just want to make a comment.
Speaker 2: No, No, vitoak.
Speaker 1: In the middle of my comment last episode, you.
Speaker 5: Said something about me, but I wasn't gonna comment about
Speaker 5: I was going to add something to it. But fine,
Speaker 5: Andrew said, I can't remember. That's I will remember because
Speaker 5: I guys have to say about it. But and Ay,
Speaker 5: you were there for that conversation.
Speaker 3: By the way, it was if it was initiated by
Speaker 3: you saying did they ask you to do that?
Speaker 2: Ye? Did he asked you to do anything?
Speaker 1: Said?
Speaker 4: No one ever, nobody ever asked me to do it.
Speaker 4: I just.
Speaker 5: I I completely understand how Angelo feels. I will say
Speaker 5: I have learned to compartmentalize and take on what I can.
Speaker 5: And that's because there have been several times in life
Speaker 5: where I felt myself about to break, and so now
Speaker 5: I am very clear to protect myself from the stress
Speaker 5: and anxiety that I can feel by taking on other
Speaker 5: people's sugar honey iced tea like I just cannot do it,
Speaker 5: so I have to, and even stuff that does impact me,
Speaker 5: I have to decide is this something I'm gonna carry
Speaker 5: or not? And it's like my arms are full, I'm already.
Speaker 4: If I didn't help.
Speaker 5: Myself relax and go to sleep, this same energy that
Speaker 5: we have on the pot, I would be wide awake
Speaker 5: at three in the morning, four in the morning. And
Speaker 5: I spent most of my teen years, my twenties, and
Speaker 5: my thirties with that level of anks where I just
Speaker 5: felt like I couldn't exhale. Even now, I paced the
Speaker 5: floor for hours. You know, if I'm thinking, if I'm right,
Speaker 5: you know, I have to turn off my phone. I
Speaker 5: keep my phone on silent probably twenty hours a day,
Speaker 5: just because I it's like a breathing entity, you know,
Speaker 5: like the constants just like stretching me out. But I
Speaker 5: know I heard that, but I thought that might be
Speaker 5: a warning about the storm. Yeah, So for for me,
Speaker 5: I can show up for other people at a point
Speaker 5: where it's not betraying myself, and betraying myself can look
Speaker 5: like a different It's like if you need to sleep,
Speaker 5: it's not you know, you owe your your body's sleep,
Speaker 5: because then you can show up for this person better.
Speaker 5: If you are sad right now, if you're dealing with
Speaker 5: your own stuff and you're heavy, like you can't be
Speaker 5: that to somebody else, you know, So take your time
Speaker 5: to get yourself together and then show up in the
Speaker 5: capacity that feels right and healthy for me. I take
Speaker 5: or have always in my life, I felt responsible for
Speaker 5: my mother. I felt responsible for my my my brother
Speaker 5: and I who grew up in the house together. I
Speaker 5: felt responsible for him for a while. He probably felt
Speaker 5: responsible for me for a while, especially when we were kids.
Speaker 5: But I had to decide. I got to focus on
Speaker 5: my mom, you know, so I can, I can help
Speaker 5: her with whatever I can, and my brother can focus
Speaker 5: on his kids, you know. So it just it kind
Speaker 5: of works something, Angelie. You say, we all we got,
Speaker 5: and that's why we feel that way. We all we got.
Speaker 5: What about you, Andrew? I feel like you're with some people,
Speaker 5: you're a catch all. With other people, you're.
Speaker 3: Free for all, lazy fair, laser fair. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: And that's shifted over the years. The more in need
Speaker 3: I have been, probably the less I have been able
Speaker 3: to of late show up for others, because so the
Speaker 3: volume has gotten so high. You know, it's sort of
Speaker 3: a fight or flight, you know, sort of decision that
Speaker 3: has to be made, but I mean for the forever
Speaker 3: and for the longest time, and I don't know how
Speaker 3: to get to the source of it. I've not gotten
Speaker 3: to the source of it, you know. My the value
Speaker 3: that I felt I brought to many relationships was my
Speaker 3: ability to solve the problems that if I wasn't doing that,
Speaker 3: I wasn't sure that I was offering a great you know,
Speaker 3: a great deal, partly because I don't do a great
Speaker 3: job listening to the historically, hadn't done a great job
Speaker 3: listening to the problem, because as you're talking to me
Speaker 3: about the problem, my mind is immediately going to like, Okay,
Speaker 3: what you can do about it? Is this is that
Speaker 3: in the third part of that, I think is as
Speaker 3: a child, I was always frustrated that everybody was complaining
Speaker 3: around or.
Speaker 2: What we can't have and what we don't have and
Speaker 2: what we did.
Speaker 3: Da da da, And this is that in the third
Speaker 3: that I was very you know, grew very tired of
Speaker 3: the excuse, all the reasons why not, all the things,
Speaker 3: you know, why we can't help the situation that the
Speaker 3: things are being done to us. But I think I
Speaker 3: grew almost a muscle like resistance to this idea that
Speaker 3: there wasn't something within our power that we could do
Speaker 3: about whatever.
Speaker 2: That thing was.
Speaker 3: And in some cases, as I look back on it,
Speaker 3: there wasn't anything we could do. We were really you know,
Speaker 3: we were we were slave to whatever that system was.
Speaker 3: And then you know, as I learned more, changed up
Speaker 3: environments and so on and so forth, then it was like, Okay,
Speaker 3: you got the part to do it, and if they're
Speaker 3: not gonna do it, then we're gonna do it for ourselves,
Speaker 3: and we're not gonna wait for anybody to do this
Speaker 3: is that in the third and this you know, almost
Speaker 3: religious like pushback against the idea that.
Speaker 2: We couldn't solve it for ourselves.
Speaker 3: And then now you know, I've had my own troth
Speaker 3: of of you know, it's just the world you know,
Speaker 3: crumbling around me that I have that I have not
Speaker 3: only not been really interested in accepting much help, but
Speaker 3: also not really in a position to offer much either,
Speaker 3: and that my time has been spent on like, okay, survival.
Speaker 3: So there's there's something there in the middle of all
Speaker 3: of that, but it isn't. I haven't been able to
Speaker 3: put a capstone on it. I do think there is
Speaker 3: something to this, where do people derive value from me
Speaker 3: right where where? Do what? What am I doing? What
Speaker 3: am I contributing to the environment, to the situation? That
Speaker 3: is additive? And if I can't surmise for myself that
Speaker 3: there's something there that's additive, then that's not Maybe I
Speaker 3: don't need to be in this, and maybe they really
Speaker 3: don't want me in this and they won't say it
Speaker 3: because I'm really not adding anything.
Speaker 2: So I think there's a big value self value piece.
Speaker 3: Here, but I don't know the genesis of it.
Speaker 4: That's so deep.
Speaker 5: That is interesting, Yeah, because I kind of understand that feeling,
Speaker 5: like if I'm not living in service too, And I
Speaker 5: had that for a while, like even feeling guilt about relaxing,
Speaker 5: which I've abandoned my grandmother, like until the day she died,
Speaker 5: she was always in service. She you know, went to
Speaker 5: the nursing home to take care of people. She was
Speaker 5: on the deacon boards, yeah, a choir rehearsal. She hosted
Speaker 5: things for the ladies. We'll go to Costco and Sam's
Speaker 5: Club and get her. You know, she was never idle,
Speaker 5: and I remember her. I spent all the summers with
Speaker 5: my grandmother, and I remember when she would come home
Speaker 5: and if I hadn't been doing anything, I felt embarrassed.
Speaker 5: She didn't say anything, but I just felt like, oh,
Speaker 5: I need to get up and be doing something. And
Speaker 5: I think it's something about us black folks, like, you
Speaker 5: know what, we deserve a life of ease sometimes, like
Speaker 5: it's okay for us to have a day and breathe
Speaker 5: and exhale. The thing that Angel talks about on the
Speaker 5: main pot that I had said this is mine. I
Speaker 5: don't know who came up with this, but it's a
Speaker 5: common phrase. When somebody's telling you something, you ask do
Speaker 5: you want to be helped?
Speaker 1: Heard or hugged?
Speaker 5: And I think, you know, to your point, Andrew, that
Speaker 5: is one of the things that drives me crazy when
Speaker 5: I'm telling one of my friends about my problem and
Speaker 5: they're rushing me to get to the end of the story,
Speaker 5: and then they immediately start telling me how they can
Speaker 5: fix it. One it presumes that I ain't thought about
Speaker 5: this chick for the past, you know, eight months or
Speaker 5: eight years. I remember when I was, you know, struggling
Speaker 5: to keep my business alive, and it was just one
Speaker 5: of the saddest, heaviest times in life for me, and
Speaker 5: I was just you know, trying to.
Speaker 4: Put out the beat. Angela.
Speaker 5: You remember those times, and I mean I was just
Speaker 5: exhausted and I would be with my friends and I
Speaker 5: would say like, I'm just so exhausted, like I just
Speaker 5: don't know what to do. I'm spending like twenty thousand
Speaker 5: dollars a month of my own money. And one of
Speaker 5: my friends was like, you shit, ask like Oprah for
Speaker 5: some money.
Speaker 4: Bitch, why did not think of that? Let me text
Speaker 4: her right now.
Speaker 3: I want to see how soon you can call me.
Speaker 4: I'm so annoyed. I'm like, sense right, thank you? It
Speaker 4: just makes no sense, and I would get so annoyed
Speaker 4: or you should do this, but that you should, it would.
Speaker 5: Just drive me crazy. It's like, ask me more questions
Speaker 5: before you come up with a solution. You know, first,
Speaker 5: it has well how you doing, how you feel, how's
Speaker 5: your spirit? What can we do to help? Is there
Speaker 5: anything we can do to help? Or tell me more
Speaker 5: what goes into running this business every day? Instead of
Speaker 5: let me immediately get to the solution, because that doesn't
Speaker 5: say that you care about me. That says you're so
Speaker 5: quick to make yourself feel good, to feed your your
Speaker 5: own self worth that it really has nothing to do
Speaker 5: with me, like you're just trying to feed something in you.
Speaker 5: And I will say with both of you, it's interesting
Speaker 5: hearing you say this, because Andrew, I feel like you
Speaker 5: are consistently like every time we're together, we always have
Speaker 5: our time where we have like the deepest conversation. We're
Speaker 5: talking and connecting and your very health for you're a
Speaker 5: great listener, Angela. You always say how's your heart?
Speaker 4: Like how you doing?
Speaker 5: What I was gonna say, Andrew vetoed you always ask
Speaker 5: those questions, but I don't feel like you're always receptive
Speaker 5: to answering those questions. And I wonder when you said
Speaker 5: you don't show up for yourself that way, and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 5: I wonder what that is about you? Like, do you
Speaker 5: ever you know, is there any space where you're like,
Speaker 5: let me break and let me just tell you yeah, therapy.
Speaker 4: Okay, that's good though, Andrew.
Speaker 1: Even when Andrew was saying a thing earlier, and I
Speaker 1: will work on that.
Speaker 4: If I did hear your point, I don't want to
Speaker 4: bypass it.
Speaker 1: I will work on that more in therapy too, and
Speaker 1: with y'all know you guys are my unofficial therapy, not
Speaker 1: just on the podcast, y'all.
Speaker 4: I will text him on the side.
Speaker 2: Just because we send you there.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, no, you guys. You guys send me
Speaker 4: healing balm.
Speaker 1: And I'm grateful except for when you count say you
Speaker 1: only want to get cut off in the middle of
Speaker 1: the break. But I will say, I will say that
Speaker 1: I think it is really hard when you say that
Speaker 1: you're about to break so many moments where we're carrying
Speaker 1: so many things for our families, for democracy, for the culture,
Speaker 1: for racial justice, for all these things.
Speaker 4: And somebody's like.
Speaker 1: How's your heart, You're like, bish, if I said it
Speaker 1: for a minute, tell you.
Speaker 4: You will bring it.
Speaker 1: And so you're like, because I, yeah, you said this,
Speaker 1: Andrew like, it's survival. It is a survival response to
Speaker 1: not dig deeper in that moment if I know that
Speaker 1: I don't have the capacity because in five minutes I
Speaker 1: got to be on air or five minutes I gotta do,
Speaker 1: you know, you just kind of can't.
Speaker 4: And so even you talk about.
Speaker 1: The helped held or hugged, helped, but is it helped
Speaker 1: helped her hugged? From that, I got like, is the
Speaker 1: person does the person want event? Does the person need
Speaker 1: you to actively listen? Like asking some of the probing questions.
Speaker 1: I think Tip is very good at that. Andrew, you've
Speaker 1: both been on the receiving end of the questions. And
Speaker 1: then or are they seeking advice like you should ask
Speaker 1: OPRA for a check or do they want you to
Speaker 1: solve and do something? And my default is to solve
Speaker 1: and do something. Again, it's not to be overbearing. It's
Speaker 1: not to insert myself. I think that deep down, it
Speaker 1: is the thing that seems like for me, it shows
Speaker 1: me love, like you are willing to utilize your own contacts,
Speaker 1: your own resources, your own time to guide me through
Speaker 1: a process. And when I have had the few opportunities
Speaker 1: and some of them with y'all, to surrender into that,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh my god, I'm gonna give y'all some
Speaker 1: inside information as a touch point. And it's both of
Speaker 1: these guys, we really are like family. We facetimed Andrew,
Speaker 1: who had just got out the shower so he could
Speaker 1: not help us, but I had literally sent him text
Speaker 1: and were.
Speaker 4: Like, Hell, what you doing? Hell? Because I knew that
Speaker 4: I could have a whole meltdown.
Speaker 1: I was really ready to have a meltdown recently about
Speaker 1: a live show and Tip, who normally does not like
Speaker 1: to be bothered. I was like, you have a whole
Speaker 1: like production background. I'm gonna need you because I we
Speaker 1: might lose our spot, like I need you to help.
Speaker 4: And TIF came in.
Speaker 1: And not only did she come in when I thought
Speaker 1: I was helping to solve the things, she was like,
Speaker 1: I need you to go over there, Like I just
Speaker 1: need you to go over there.
Speaker 4: You're not helping. How you think you're helping.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I can't see myself,
Speaker 1: but I believe that's probably true.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to talk to the man ouside be like yes,
Speaker 4: just please.
Speaker 1: She's like, bye, go And I think that in those
Speaker 1: moments you can't see yourself. All you know is like
Speaker 1: you have an end desired goal and this thing that
Speaker 1: needs to happen. It's the same thing as when they
Speaker 1: tell lawyers like don't ever be a lawyer for yourself?
Speaker 1: You like you can't see yourself when I tell you, guys,
Speaker 1: because of Tip's involvement in this, we ended up with
Speaker 1: a far better position than I could have ever imagined.
Speaker 1: She has an eye. She is innovative, she is creative.
Speaker 1: She don't like to insert your insert herself and your stuff.
Speaker 4: But boy, what she does, okay, I'm.
Speaker 1: Doing And it's the same thing for Andrew. There are
Speaker 1: so many times that could be like, well have.
Speaker 4: You thought about it? I'm like, no, I didn't think
Speaker 4: about this, you know.
Speaker 1: So I thank God for y'all, and and I appreciate
Speaker 1: that even in the times when I said I'm just venting,
Speaker 1: you did step up to solve, because sometimes we don't
Speaker 1: actually know what we really need because we can't see ourselves.
Speaker 5: For me, is when you are like panicked, you know,
Speaker 5: like when you're you know, I it is hard to
Speaker 5: see that. And it's not that I don't want to
Speaker 5: be bothered. It's that I'm carrying other things.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 5: It's like I and you know, like some of the
Speaker 5: stuff I'm carrying. Sometimes it is my finances, you know,
Speaker 5: like I'm already stressed over that. Sometimes it is my
Speaker 5: other production that I do with Will Packer. I'm you know,
Speaker 5: that's a full It's like taping eight native lands and
Speaker 5: one day, you know, and it's like I gotta, you know,
Speaker 5: spend weeks preparing for that. Sometimes it's family stuff. Sometimes
Speaker 5: it's my own brokenness, my own heartbreak. Sometimes it's you
Speaker 5: know this foolish man who I didn't you know, gave
Speaker 5: access to me, who is not on this podcast. No,
Speaker 5: but he well he don't e look speak the Devil's
Speaker 5: name and social he appeared. He don't exist anymore. Okay,
Speaker 5: but Angela, he don't even have access. He don't even
Speaker 5: have access. But you all, but you do know how
Speaker 5: it is when your heart is hurting and it's like
Speaker 5: I don't have room for anything else.
Speaker 4: I can't.
Speaker 5: I don't have space for somebody else's panic. I don't
Speaker 5: have space for somebody you know, tears or whatever it is.
Speaker 5: It's like I'm about to lose it, and I can
Speaker 5: show up about to lose it looking like this, sounding
Speaker 5: like this, acting like everything is fine, but in here
Speaker 5: this is broken. I'm shaken with nerves on the verge
Speaker 5: of tears, but I've swallowed them down long enough, just
Speaker 5: so I can be in this space with you all
Speaker 5: and not you know, infected with my own sadness. And
Speaker 5: so it's not that I'm like, well, I don't want
Speaker 5: to be by that's it. I don't ever have that attitude.
Speaker 5: It's I'm holding as much as I can right now,
Speaker 5: and I can't hold anything else. Now, when I see
Speaker 5: my sister is holding as much as she can and
Speaker 5: people keep dumping on it, and I see her about
Speaker 5: to break and fall, then yes, in those moments of
Speaker 5: extreme energy, let me set my stuff down and go
Speaker 5: over here and help my sister with this right now.
Speaker 4: And I think that happens most around our live show.
Speaker 3: I do think we all aw it to each other
Speaker 3: to deepen into the you know, the why, because Angela,
Speaker 3: you said that I know to be true with me,
Speaker 3: which is the things that we do, what we put
Speaker 3: out of ourselves.
Speaker 4: Is her that is a warning Andrew that h okay?
Speaker 4: But are you okay?
Speaker 3: So yeah, this is just doubling down on what we know,
Speaker 3: a direct hip toward Tallahassee and evacuations are ordered.
Speaker 2: So I will say, I think one.
Speaker 3: Thing that we was resident there was how we give
Speaker 3: love is also in some ways how we wish to
Speaker 3: receive it. And I know that I'm most critical of
Speaker 3: people used to be anyway when I wasn't receiving the
Speaker 3: love the way that I was the way I was
Speaker 3: giving it out, which is why, you know, I had
Speaker 3: to reach the epiphany that love language was about learning
Speaker 3: the love language of other people. You know, you're not
Speaker 3: just yourself, and that way you can give it in
Speaker 3: a way that they can receive it, just like you're
Speaker 3: wanting them to delivered to you in a way you
Speaker 3: can receive it. But I know that this is not
Speaker 3: all that that we're not the only ones dealing with this.
Speaker 3: I know all of a longst of the listeners, everybody
Speaker 3: is struggling, and we we could, we could give ourselves
Speaker 3: some grace.
Speaker 2: Here would be my advice.
Speaker 4: About because people saying for.
Speaker 3: Me, because it is a new thing, what that means
Speaker 3: for me is recognize that I'm not a superhero or
Speaker 3: a superhuman and that as just the normal breathing person, I.
Speaker 2: Can get tired too. I can want to rest too.
Speaker 3: I can realize that, you know what, this problem that
Speaker 3: I've been thinking I can solve and only me is
Speaker 3: not intractable for everybody, that maybe somebody else I'd have
Speaker 3: the shot at solving the thing, and maybe they might
Speaker 3: get further than I can. So, you know, all the things,
Speaker 3: which is contrary to how I thought of myself and
Speaker 3: what I'm supposed to be doing for practically all of
Speaker 3: my life up to this point, I'm the one who
Speaker 3: can do it. It cannot be done, and if it was
Speaker 3: done by somebody else, it wouldn't be done to the
Speaker 3: level at which I would expect, right, and so on
Speaker 3: and so forth. But you know what, boom, I'm not
Speaker 3: that special. All those things that are only for me
Speaker 3: are not just for me. I'm requiring that, probably to
Speaker 3: protect myself from something else, a different reality that I don't.
Speaker 2: Want to deal with.
Speaker 3: So grace is just that it's letting yourself off a
Speaker 3: little bit without all the judgment.
Speaker 2: At least I.
Speaker 5: Share something that you said to me that I think
Speaker 5: is so good. We were talking about. I can't remember
Speaker 5: what emotion. It was, either shame or regret, and you said,
Speaker 5: those are emotions that only take.
Speaker 4: They don't get. Yes, yeah, give you yes, I had.
Speaker 5: I want you to know I've repeated that to several people,
Speaker 5: and I did not give you credit. So y'all know that.
Speaker 4: No sentiment.
Speaker 3: This thing is a leech, and it's not here to
Speaker 3: give you anything. It's only here to take God.
Speaker 1: I wanted to offer two things on grace the grace question.
Speaker 1: The first is perfection is not required. The second is
Speaker 1: we have to stop expecting ourselves from other people. That
Speaker 1: is grace for us, and it's grace for them. And
Speaker 1: how dare we think that our way is the only way?
Speaker 1: That is so egotistical, so egocentric, and thank god that's
Speaker 1: not the only way. Can you imagine how flat this
Speaker 1: world would actually be? Shout out to the hoteps if
Speaker 1: we did actually believe, if we if we move that way.
Speaker 1: So thank god that there's some difference. So thank god
Speaker 1: there's divergent experiences and all of that, and yes.
Speaker 2: And multiple ways of getting to where you want to go.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, I want to know y'all have languages so
Speaker 1: I can love you better. You guys, Oh, let's do that. Okay.
Speaker 4: I don't know solve I would like to try it.
Speaker 4: Mine I have.
Speaker 5: Too, and I don't know if you can solve these animals.
Speaker 5: Mine is time spent and physical time.
Speaker 1: Well, I can go on a walk with you and I.
Speaker 5: Okay, okay, I was thinking another physical specify that you, guys.
Speaker 5: I'm going to tell you one of mine is cooking.
Speaker 5: That's not in there, but it should be.
Speaker 1: I guess it could technically be an active service, but
Speaker 1: I really like words of affirmation. The problem is, I
Speaker 1: think words of affirmation have to also align up with
Speaker 1: your actions. So I know that's not in there neither,
Speaker 1: but y'all.
Speaker 4: Know of a rebel.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 4: But even I feel like even when we give you
Speaker 4: words affirmation, sometimes you are quick just like them. Yeah,
Speaker 4: so let me specify.
Speaker 1: I really like like for my birthday this year, since
Speaker 1: I think my birthday is coming up before either of y'all's.
Speaker 4: Again, yes, I'm already.
Speaker 1: I like like love notes like send me a nice
Speaker 1: like encouraging note, you know.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like it isn't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be like, oh, angel, let me
Speaker 1: tell you girl, you this such a good job.
Speaker 4: I'll be like.
Speaker 1: That kind of like something that's deeper, you know. I
Speaker 1: like ye I like that more than anything. And they're
Speaker 1: free except for your time. It's still valuable. But I
Speaker 1: don't want to discount your time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's real. I love that.
Speaker 4: I do. I love that idea.
Speaker 3: So y'all, I appreciate your vulnerability and willingness to lean
Speaker 3: into this. And for our listeners, I know this is
Speaker 3: different than our you know, normal political but guess what
Speaker 3: we're trying to be round it.
Speaker 2: We're trying to elevate it as a culture document.
Speaker 4: Podcast.
Speaker 3: So hey, hey, hey, if you benefit, send us a bill, I.
Speaker 4: Send us a check? Do we want? How about as.
Speaker 5: I feel like, so, what they can do for us
Speaker 5: is tell us how they show themselves grace some of
Speaker 5: their self care practices. I'd be curious because I'm I'm
Speaker 5: trying to, you know, show myself grace. And it's like
Speaker 5: a journey. It's a We talked about this on the
Speaker 5: last podcast, Angela, when you were saying on your journey
Speaker 5: home to yourself. That was like two years ago, I think,
Speaker 5: and I didn't even really know what that meant, and
Speaker 5: I overstand what that means now because I am definitely
Speaker 5: on the journey home to myself and it feels great.
Speaker 5: I mean, I have to say, because I went through
Speaker 5: some dark times, like I was real, I felt I
Speaker 5: went from being on top of the world, if like
Speaker 5: the world was on top of me. And now for
Speaker 5: anyone going through that, and I know personally a few
Speaker 5: people going through that, it just feels so great to
Speaker 5: come out on the other side, you know, to see
Speaker 5: light and to you know, see sunshine, and you know
Speaker 5: there's things you can do for yourself. One thing I
Speaker 5: always made sure that I did in my darkest times.
Speaker 5: My rules for myself. You gotta get up early and
Speaker 5: take a shower, like when you wake up, go take
Speaker 5: a shower and get dressed. Even if you're getting dressed
Speaker 5: was putting on a fresh new pair of pajamas. But
Speaker 5: you do have to get up that you can't lay
Speaker 5: in bed. Yes, and you've got to walk around the block.
Speaker 5: One time that was some of my self care. And
Speaker 5: but the thing is, when I'm walking around the block,
Speaker 5: I'm making out with a dog.
Speaker 4: I see I'm seeing people take well, I am mooing,
Speaker 4: and you know, like.
Speaker 2: Look at little kids.
Speaker 1: And when people tell me, you, guys, guess what he's
Speaker 1: about to become a full long podcast.
Speaker 4: Okay, because we still had time with the videographers and.
Speaker 1: We have to still do our still have to do
Speaker 1: our or yes, welcome home everybody, but.
Speaker 4: We had them until we still have to cut what
Speaker 4: we're cutting from the podcast.
Speaker 1: Okay, we was gonna make a special announcement. I'll tell y'all,
Speaker 1: Oh tell us, but you want to announce it, don't
Speaker 1: make it in.
Speaker 2: The mini, don't make it in the many why.
Speaker 4: Kind of think of what it is.
Speaker 2: I'll make it on rhee. On that note, have a
Speaker 2: great week, everybody.
Speaker 4: Welcome Home, Welcome Home.
Speaker 1: Native Lampard is a production of iHeart Radio in partnership
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