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Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini yourself. Many episode, motherfucking mini yourself.

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Speaker 2: Oh my life. I had to fight. I had to

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Speaker 2: fight my daddy, I had to fight my brothers. I

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Speaker 2: had to fight my cousins and my uncles. But I

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Speaker 2: never thought I'd have to fight in my own house.

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Speaker 2: I loves Harpoe, I truly do. But I kill him

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Speaker 2: dead for I let him beat me again. There it is. There,

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Speaker 2: it is.

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Speaker 3: Little mamas and gentiles alike, Welcome to another phenomenal mini

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Speaker 3: episode of My Mama Told Me.

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Speaker 4: The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of

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Speaker 4: black conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 3: And we finally were to prove the theories that you

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Speaker 3: the listener have at home. It's a motherfucking mini episode.

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Speaker 4: Let's go. I think we should open it up and

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Speaker 4: not two songs anymore in the beginning.

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Speaker 3: This is Yeah. I think we really can challenge ourselves

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Speaker 3: to find some new, exciting, dangerous territory.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I got some moves. I just rewatched Baby Boy.

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Speaker 4: I'm ready to go.

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Speaker 3: Okay, somebody had a b T night.

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Speaker 4: I like that.

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Speaker 3: It's always playing. It is a good ass movie. I read.

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Speaker 3: I saw somebody commented this the other day because it

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Speaker 3: was like a Twitter take of somebody being like, baby

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Speaker 3: Boy ain't nothing but this movie and this movie, and

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Speaker 3: the the way that people sort of treat baby Boy

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Speaker 3: as if it's like a run of the mall, Likehood

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Speaker 3: Movie is one hundred percent incorrect. It is a great

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Speaker 3: film that just so happens to be starring a genuine psychopath.

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Speaker 3: But it is anomal phenomenal film.

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Speaker 4: It feels like that's why people play it out like

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Speaker 4: they really try to. Yeah, like people really try to

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Speaker 4: downgrade it is not a good film, and it's like

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Speaker 4: wonderfully acted, it's beautifully shot, Like it's a great movie.

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Speaker 4: I don't understand why people have so much hate for it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's got a cool message that isn't like overly sappy,

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Speaker 3: but also does like leave levels of hope inside of it,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like it it isn't it

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Speaker 3: isn't about creating false solutions, but it is sort of

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Speaker 3: about creating a sense that, like everything in the Hood

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Speaker 3: doesn't have to be just dire and deadly, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean. Like, there's it, truly is it?

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Speaker 4: People give Jody no space, like he wasn't nineteen was

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Speaker 4: he supposed to be nineteen? In that movie. That's what

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Speaker 4: I read when I was looking at people talking about

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Speaker 4: it online.

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Speaker 3: WHOA, that's crazy, And this is once again it's just

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Speaker 3: I got this from threads, which I only go on

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Speaker 3: threads when I'm like not feeling good or whatever.

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Speaker 4: Threats. People were saying Jody was supposed to be nineteen

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Speaker 4: an event was supposed to be like twenty three, twenty four. Whoa,

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Speaker 4: which to me is like damn and his brother just died.

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Speaker 3: That makes sense that she would be older. I could.

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Speaker 3: I could see that, and that he would be younger.

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Speaker 3: He looked forty, so that's hard to mate with him

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Speaker 3: being nineteen.

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Speaker 4: He is a dark skinned man. Tyree always looked like that.

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Speaker 3: That's true.

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Speaker 4: He's seen tyresee at nineteen. He looks like ty Resea

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Speaker 4: whatever he is right now.

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Speaker 3: He was in the my Way video. He was in

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Speaker 3: those Coca Cola nemesis. Yeah, in the my Way video,

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Speaker 3: and he did look a lot older than Usher. But

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Speaker 3: but I could have bought him being nineteen in that video.

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Speaker 3: I did not buy him being nineteen and baby boy,

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Speaker 3: but that's okay. The performance outshined his age.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, everybody, everybody acted their ass off. Everybody really went

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Speaker 4: crazy in them. Snoop was really good. Snoop was great,

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Speaker 4: Ving raims Omar Gooding, That's that's the best thing he

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Speaker 4: ever did.

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Speaker 3: He was a drunk guy. I'm gonna be honest with you.

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Speaker 3: It changed my whole perspective of what Omar Gooding could do.

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Speaker 4: Mm hmm.

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh, Omar Goodness, Uh, he's a talent.

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Speaker 4: Before that, I just thought he was the dumb guy

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Speaker 4: and smart guy.

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Speaker 3: He was a great and smart guy. But but I

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Speaker 3: didn't see a lot of upward mobility from that performance.

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Speaker 3: But then nobody.

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Speaker 4: You didn't feel like anybody was gonna get out from

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Speaker 4: Smart Guy, even though it was a star studed cast.

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Speaker 4: Jason Weaver went crazy, Essence at Kins. Everybody was the dad.

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Speaker 4: I don't know that guy's name.

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Speaker 3: No, I agree, it didn't feel like they were about

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Speaker 3: to make it out of there, but it did feel

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Speaker 3: like everybody shrined in in their role. Smart Guy was

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Speaker 3: a solid It was a solid lineup to start to finish.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. I really like that show. Kyla Pratt was in

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Speaker 4: there everybody, that's true. Yeah, Beyonce was in there looking

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Speaker 4: as old as she does now, which was weird.

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Speaker 3: Anyway, I love Smart guy. Yeah, we don't talk about

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Speaker 3: a smart guy because drum world. Please, we got voicemails.

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Speaker 3: We we have been We've been telling people that that

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Speaker 3: we want you guys to call us, call us. Now

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Speaker 3: we say, and and you did. You called us and

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Speaker 3: some of their calls were insane and some of your

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Speaker 3: calls were very sweet. But we want to listen to

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Speaker 3: voicemail together today and maybe unpack a conspiracy that one

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Speaker 3: of you, the little Mama, was left on our on

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Speaker 3: our phone.

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Speaker 4: So that's the plan. Yeah, I'm very excited about this

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Speaker 4: term for us.

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Speaker 3: It's it's really cool. I I it's groundbreaking ship that

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Speaker 3: we're doing right now.

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Speaker 4: Somebody at least a nasty one.

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Speaker 3: One day they are gonna leave a nasty one. I

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Speaker 3: wish you wouldn't encourage them as much as you you

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Speaker 3: seem to be doing. But yeah, that's that's inevitable. I agree,

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Speaker 3: it's so bad. You're really bugging you keep telling them

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Speaker 3: you got it chill. But that's why here we go.

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Speaker 3: We got a voicemail. I don't even know who's from

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Speaker 3: this person. Maybe they said their name. They said use

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Speaker 3: a lot of voicemails, so maybe they said their name

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Speaker 3: in a different voicemail, but fucking I'm not going back anyway.

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Speaker 3: We'll play it now, all.

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Speaker 5: Right, last time calling in because I know I called

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Speaker 5: y'all so much. But my conspiracy theory is that plastic

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Speaker 5: surgeons try to give people the Beyonce face, like subconsciously.

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Speaker 5: I see people who get plastic surgery and right before

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Speaker 5: they go too far, they literally have Beyonce's like cheekbone

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Speaker 5: or the structure. Like maybe it's because I like Beyonce,

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Speaker 5: but there's something to this. Starting with Kim Kardashian in

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Speaker 5: her plastic surgery, which subsequently leads to all her sister's

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Speaker 5: plastic surgeries, it's all like just Beyonce's face and just

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Speaker 5: being like, Okay, I.

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Speaker 3: Kind of want this, all right, It's not it's Beyonce's face.

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Speaker 3: Is the question at hand? Is this somehow secretly plastic

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Speaker 3: surgeons saying they want to they want to make people

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Speaker 3: look like Beyonce subconsciously?

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Speaker 4: She says, I don't think it is that subconscious, is

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Speaker 4: what I will say to this one. I think that

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Speaker 4: there is always a beauty standard at the time that

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Speaker 4: directly aligns with the celebrity, and you see fallout from

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Speaker 4: that that people want to look like that person. I

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Speaker 4: think that if you went back to whatever decade you

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Speaker 4: would say she was the most on top, you would

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Speaker 4: see people trying to look like Diana Ross. I don't

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Speaker 4: think it's new. I think that the means to make

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Speaker 4: yourself look like that person right have gone, have gotten

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Speaker 4: more advanced, and that's why we see so many people.

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Speaker 4: I mean, Nick, you live in LA. How many Kim

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Speaker 4: Kardashians do you know in La? Like that? Shit's crazy?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? No, I agree, I one hundred percent agree with you.

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Speaker 3: I think this is just the baddest bitch on the

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Speaker 3: planet by far. And so it's like, all right, well, yeah,

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Speaker 3: everybody's going to use her as the standard of beauty,

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Speaker 3: including other very wealthy women who want to mirror that.

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Speaker 3: And I think a fair amount of what the Kardashians

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Speaker 3: are doing is blackfishing and sort of like wanting to

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Speaker 3: create this image that they are more quote unquote ethnic

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Speaker 3: than they probably appear just off of their own fucking

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Speaker 3: original genetic makeup. And so I think, yeah, they go like, well,

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Speaker 3: who's a black woman who looks like a black woman.

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Speaker 3: I think Beyonce very much looks like a black woman,

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Speaker 3: but with euro centric enough features that it does not

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Speaker 3: offend white eyes. Do you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 3: it is not right. I understand what you're saying completely, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's not. I think there are black women who we

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Speaker 3: go are very beautiful, but are also more of a

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Speaker 3: polarizing conversation for white people, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Like Takarl Williams comes to mind where I go like, god,

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Speaker 3: damn it. Yeah, or it's just like no, it's just nuts.

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Speaker 3: But like white people ain't necessarily gonna have or TAKR Jones,

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Speaker 3: that's who it is. Ta Carl Williams is a comedian.

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Speaker 3: It's awesome. Yeah, but Ta Carl Jones is the one

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Speaker 3: that I'm thinking of. But but yeah, I think it's

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Speaker 3: more of a h a debate for white people, whereas

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Speaker 3: like Beyonce is more objective for white people as a

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Speaker 3: beauty standard.

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Speaker 4: Right and that man, sorry, I looked up to Carl. Still,

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Speaker 4: if you want to do the show, listen. No. I

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Speaker 4: think the scary thing in that though, is you wonder

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Speaker 4: what happens when the trend shifts, Like I wonder that

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Speaker 4: a lot about like women who went out and got

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Speaker 4: large fake breasts in the nineties. Yeah, you know what

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Speaker 4: I'm saying, And then as the cultural pendulum kind of

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Speaker 4: swung to something different, you're left in this thing that

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Speaker 4: was really served you well at one point, but then

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Speaker 4: now you look kind of dated and it seems like,

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Speaker 4: well to me, that's sort of the worry.

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Speaker 3: It's funny you should bring that up, because I was

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Speaker 3: literally just listening to a Daily episode about that exact issue.

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Speaker 3: They were saying that, like, we are in the middle

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Speaker 3: of a swing towards smaller breasts, that like, women are

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Speaker 3: in much larger numbers now getting breast reductions in fact,

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Speaker 3: because like big old titties number one are a massive

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Speaker 3: burden physically and come with a larger cost socially, but

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Speaker 3: they also are not in style the same way that

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Speaker 3: they used to be. And so there's like a bunch

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Speaker 3: of women getting breast reductions and it does make you think,

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Speaker 3: like how much of these plastic surgeries are going to

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Speaker 3: age over time as trends sort of shift, which is sad.

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Speaker 4: Also, do big titties ever really go out of style?

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Speaker 3: That's where I start to call bullshit, And I'll be

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Speaker 3: honest in.

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Speaker 4: The magazine, sure or like at the highest levels of

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Speaker 4: whatever you deem to be fashion, but like I feel like,

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Speaker 4: I don't know, there could still be a lady in

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Speaker 4: Chicago with huge titties.

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Speaker 3: And it's cool, and listen, I'm still gonna be a

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Speaker 3: big fan of that lady.

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Speaker 4: You know what I mean? Exact, I don't think sure

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Speaker 4: be courted for that.

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Speaker 3: It's it's one of those things that I think fashion

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Speaker 3: repeatedly does where they claim that this thing is bad,

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Speaker 3: or this thing is out of style, or this is

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Speaker 3: not the way that women are or people are in

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Speaker 3: general anymore. That it's completely fabricated by a bunch of

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Speaker 3: people who are not basing this off of sexuality. They're

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Speaker 3: basing it off of like trends and their intention to

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Speaker 3: sell items, do you know.

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Speaker 4: What I mean. So it's like silhouettes, and.

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Speaker 3: So you're making a bunch of clothes that don't require

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Speaker 3: a bra anymore, or at least look worse when you

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Speaker 3: have a bra. And so you tell everybody that like

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Speaker 3: little tits are in when in fact little tits saying

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Speaker 3: anymore in other than for the people who feel like

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Speaker 3: they need that physically to take that off of their

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, off of their person, But

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Speaker 3: like little tits aren't they're they're not out. I'm a

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Speaker 3: big fan of those two. But it isn't just like, oh,

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Speaker 3: the world decided that this has changed. It's a bunch

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Speaker 3: of people in charge of a magazine that are telling

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Speaker 3: us this.

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Speaker 4: Right right right, right right. Yeah, that is that is

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Speaker 4: a that is a very odd thing because yeah, Bay

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Speaker 4: just typed in the chat everyone wants to be heroin

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Speaker 4: chic again, and you're like the fact that that it's

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Speaker 4: again begs the question how for how long? Right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: And I think you just gotta chill because big titties

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Speaker 4: will get cool again. I truly think, I truly think

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Speaker 4: everyone hits the zeitgeist in like a perfect way at

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Speaker 4: one point in their life. And if you just go

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Speaker 4: fast to who you are at some point and you

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Speaker 4: don't know when it is and you can't control that,

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Speaker 4: it might not be when you're it might for some

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Speaker 4: poor people. Who is that little boy on on on

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Speaker 4: on Tim and Toman Taylor?

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Speaker 3: Who is that little boy Taylor Thomas?

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Speaker 4: He fucked up, he got that ship from eleven to fifteen,

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Speaker 4: but he hit it, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: He hit it hard. He was but like he was,

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Speaker 3: he was the state or the beauty in our country

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Speaker 3: before Beyonce.

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Speaker 4: I think it was like Allie McBeal and gorgeous.

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Speaker 3: Fucking symbol baby. He was symbol symbol.

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Speaker 4: He was not not the musical Simba.

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Speaker 3: That was Jason Waver of The Smart Eye.

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Speaker 4: Again. Yeah, but I do think that everyone hits that.

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Speaker 4: It's hard though, because you gotta worry if you can't

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Speaker 4: like strike while the iron's hot, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Well, that's I think that's where it becomes this complicated thing, Right,

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Speaker 3: is that like striking while the iron's hot, or feeling

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Speaker 3: so out of place in the body that you have

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Speaker 3: that you're not willing to wait out the changes in trends,

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Speaker 3: Right that, Like, if you are made to believe by media,

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Speaker 3: by the people around you that your body is somehow incorrect,

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Speaker 3: then you start to desire something else. Hence all these

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Speaker 3: women in the eighties and nineties wanting to get the

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Speaker 3: big fake tits in the first place. And so one

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Speaker 3: of the things that the the thing I was listening

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Speaker 3: to was saying the podcast I was listening to was

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Speaker 3: that more than ever, gen Z is real down for

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Speaker 3: plastic surgery. They're real like, nah, whatever, we don't but

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Speaker 3: they're not looking at it as a reflection of responding

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Speaker 3: to like the male gaze. They look at it as

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Speaker 3: like their own autonomy, where they go like, no, this

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Speaker 3: is my way of just activating who I want to be,

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Speaker 3: not just because some dude told me this is what

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Speaker 3: we like.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's tough. That's tough. It's hard for me to

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Speaker 4: get behind elective surgery in a major way.

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Speaker 3: Mmm, just like because because you.

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Speaker 4: Like how the world is, how much resources it takes,

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Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Yeah, and no matter where

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Speaker 4: you go, there you're at. But like, I'm glad that

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Speaker 4: they find freedom in that. And I might have a

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Speaker 4: very antiquated view of it, but it does to me

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Speaker 4: feel like if you need surgery to be yourself, I

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Speaker 4: don't know if that's a hole that gets filled always

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Speaker 4: sometimes you.

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Speaker 3: Know, Yeah, I worry, I worry less, And that's not

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Speaker 3: a great solution to a problem.

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Speaker 4: I feel it.

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Speaker 3: I worry less about even it being the solution to

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Speaker 3: the problem because maybe it is for you, and and

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Speaker 3: I don't want to presume I don't want to make

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Speaker 3: that choice for you, but I do worry that, like

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Speaker 3: there might have been another solution if you explored in

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Speaker 3: a different way, right, And so I think. I think

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Speaker 3: I for plastic surgery in particular, I go, if that's

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Speaker 3: what you want, baby girl or a baby boy, whatever,

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Speaker 3: that's what you should go do. And there's no shame

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Speaker 3: in that. On the flip side, I bet you there

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Speaker 3: was another way into that same feeling if you were

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Speaker 3: able to get past some of the esthetic blockage that's

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Speaker 3: sitting in front of you.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 3: So, yeah, I don't know, we're so smart. Yeah we

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Speaker 3: sound great.

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Speaker 4: This is this isn't gonna come off problematic. It Ah,

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Speaker 4: let's just talk. This is what women should do it

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Speaker 4: in their bodies surgically.

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Speaker 3: Buddy, know for sure this won't age poorly at all.

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00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:24,399
Speaker 3: We are gonna this conversation is going to stand the

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Speaker 3: test of time.

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Speaker 4: These conversations are necessary, though, because I do feel like

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Speaker 4: sometimes these things, the technology and whatnot, outpaces people having

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Speaker 4: true feelings about it, and then you get to this

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Speaker 4: point where you don't know where the culture is at,

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Speaker 4: you know, you know what I mean. So it's like

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Speaker 4: it does feel and I think that's why people get

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Speaker 4: so caught up one way or another within the culture wars, right,

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Speaker 4: because it's like, wait, this just happened. I don't even

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Speaker 4: get it.

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Speaker 3: I think also, we don't give enough credit to how

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Speaker 3: much these culture wars are dictated by a small swath

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Speaker 3: of people. One of the things that they talked about

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Speaker 3: in that in that podcast is that three quarters of

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Speaker 3: plastic surgeons are men, men who for a long time

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Speaker 3: were responding to women saying I want a breast reduction

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Speaker 3: by being like, well, your husband won't like that, or

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Speaker 3: like that that I actually like the way this curves

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Speaker 3: or shaping. Literally there was like a this is fucked up,

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Speaker 3: but there was like.

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Speaker 4: A would be like no, I actually like big as

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Speaker 4: why did I come here?

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Speaker 3: Cool?

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Speaker 1: Man?

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Speaker 3: I don't for me, I don't, but that's dope for you.

333
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,440
Speaker 3: That One of the things that's craziest is that there

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00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:05,399
Speaker 3: actually was like this peer reviewed journal article, well, basically

335
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Speaker 3: a doctor describes in detail the perfect shape of a breast,

336
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,440
Speaker 3: like this is the ideal breast that all plastic surgeons

337
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 3: should be working towards, and basically like presenting this as

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00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,919
Speaker 3: this is what we should be crafting, which is insane

339
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 3: because bodies come in so many different shapes and forms

340
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Speaker 3: that even the ideal quote unquote ideal breast might look

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Speaker 3: nuts on a lady that ain't built like that, right.

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Speaker 4: And by who's yeah, it's regulating bodies in that way.

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00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 4: It's so crazy. Yeah, one PC and it's like, come on, man,

344
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 4: some people like long titties.

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Speaker 3: Some people like that for sure.

346
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Speaker 4: Some people like short titties.

347
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Speaker 3: And the rest.

348
00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, some people like it when they hang down and

349
00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 4: they can pick it up and put it to their

350
00:19:58,640 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 4: ear like a telephone.

351
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Speaker 3: Uh do you city saying low? Do them any time

352
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,040
Speaker 3: in the nut? Can you tie them in a bow?

353
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:15,160
Speaker 3: Shout out to jibs, But no, I think to the

354
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 3: greater to the greater point of whether or not plastic

355
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,160
Speaker 3: surgeons are making people look like Beyonce, I think they're

356
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 3: probably asking these plastic surgeons on some sub subconscious level

357
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:32,359
Speaker 3: to make them look like Beyonce, or in a very

358
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 3: straight up level, to make them look like Beyonce. And

359
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 3: I think we're all working from the same palette. In

360
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 3: a lot of ways, we go this is this is

361
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,119
Speaker 3: the standard of beauty. Therefore I will do my best

362
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,320
Speaker 3: to make you look like that, even if that's not

363
00:20:45,359 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 3: what you're supposed to look like.

364
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:51,719
Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely. I feel like within this the conspiracy is

365
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 4: not within the plastic surgeons. It's kind of society at large.

366
00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,119
Speaker 3: Yeah, we all want to look like Beyonce, and we

367
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 3: should maybe reflect on whether that's a healthy approach.

368
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:05,760
Speaker 4: Yeah exactly.

369
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 3: But that said, if you want to look like Beyonce

370
00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,240
Speaker 3: and you know how to do it, God bless you

371
00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:12,359
Speaker 3: because you just do.

372
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Speaker 1: I know.

373
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, and trust me, you're not gonna pop out looking

374
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 4: like Beyonce in your life is gonna get worse.

375
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,240
Speaker 3: You're gonna see some improvements.

376
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 4: You're definitely gonna see some results.

377
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,960
Speaker 3: I think people are gonna talk a little differently to

378
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 3: ye are.

379
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,679
Speaker 4: They're not going to push you around down at the

380
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:34,880
Speaker 4: post office anymore?

381
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,359
Speaker 3: Where's that check? I don't know my man, My male

382
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,919
Speaker 3: man looks like Beyonce. I'm not got lost? They got lost?

383
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:50,680
Speaker 1: Gy?

384
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,280
Speaker 4: I gotta buy him two Christmas presents?

385
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 3: Now?

386
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,000
Speaker 4: Do you buy your male man a Christmas present?

387
00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 3: Fuck?

388
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:58,200
Speaker 4: No, yeah me either.

389
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 3: I hate my male lady's guts. I ain't woa. I

390
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 3: can't stand this bitch.

391
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,640
Speaker 4: Damn for real.

392
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:12,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's she's rude, and she never says hello, and

393
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 3: and she shows up late almost every day, but sometimes

394
00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 3: she's delivering at like eight at night. So like, if

395
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 3: I needed mail, I'm just fucked.

396
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:26,119
Speaker 4: Do you know what you gotta you got because you're

397
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:27,720
Speaker 4: waiting for those sag after checks.

398
00:22:27,720 --> 00:22:30,040
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, bro, I got cash. I

399
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 3: got checks to cash. She'll be showing up at like

400
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,320
Speaker 3: eight at night, leaving leaving.

401
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:35,920
Speaker 1: Uh.

402
00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 3: She'll leave packages on the porch and not ring the door,

403
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 3: but you know what I mean, not even indicating like, oh,

404
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 3: you have a package, It'll just like put it out.

405
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,600
Speaker 3: And then because you show up so late, now it's

406
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,359
Speaker 3: out overnight. My sh it's just outside because.

407
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 4: You hate Wow. Man, my guy's cool. You're like a

408
00:22:56,280 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 4: gay guy. He's pretty, he's like hip damn yeah. But

409
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,880
Speaker 4: then he's like so hips. Sometimes I try to talk

410
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,399
Speaker 4: to him and he doesn't want to talk to me

411
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 4: because I have like a little bestro table out front,

412
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,840
Speaker 4: so I'll be out the side when he comes out.

413
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:16,119
Speaker 4: Sometimes he sees.

414
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:20,240
Speaker 3: You out there and he goes, hey, man, what's up, guy?

415
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 3: I can't talk today. I gotta.

416
00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 4: And also I in the world, my sense of humor

417
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,639
Speaker 4: completely leaves me, so like I'm not saying funny stuff

418
00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 4: like I am on here.

419
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 3: I'm just like, can I just say it is so

420
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,280
Speaker 3: cathartic to hear you say that, because I feel the

421
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 3: exact same way. I'm not really I'm not being funny.

422
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 3: I'm not nailing it. Most of the time when I'm

423
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:55,520
Speaker 3: talking to people, I just be having ordinary conversations and

424
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 3: then they go, what are you doing? I go, I'm

425
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 3: a comedian and they go all right, and I just

426
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,400
Speaker 3: feel like I'm a fraud most the day.

427
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 4: I this is me at my peak because I can

428
00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:11,639
Speaker 4: harness it in to the hour or two hours that

429
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,480
Speaker 4: we have to do this, and then I spent my low.

430
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 4: I'm not funny, man. I wish you could talk to

431
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 4: my girl about how unfunny I am in the house.

432
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:26,439
Speaker 4: Damn man, brother, It's like puns and like stupid I

433
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 4: make stupid jo this is this just happened to me.

434
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 4: I make terrible jokes to her. And the other day

435
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 4: she was like, can you just stop shortening ship because

436
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 4: I know that that's a douchebag thing to set do,

437
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,160
Speaker 4: and in my head I was like, Oh, that's so funny.

438
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 4: So I do it. But it's not ironic if you

439
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 4: do it all the time anymore.

440
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, once you once you've done it more than twice,

441
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:50,080
Speaker 3: this is just who you are.

442
00:24:50,720 --> 00:24:53,719
Speaker 4: Right, And I got an audition for this show and

443
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 4: they the character was a douchebag, and all he did

444
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 4: was shorten everything he said in the audition self described douchebag.

445
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,719
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh man, I'm gonna do that.

446
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,679
Speaker 4: No, no, no. I was like, oh man, she's rollow.

447
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:07,960
Speaker 5: Now.

448
00:25:08,840 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 3: It was the mirror you need it held up to you.

449
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 4: Exactly because my sense of humor is not great within

450
00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:20,120
Speaker 4: any a lot of other aspects. It's it's it's it's not.

451
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 3: I get it. I've I've put everything I can into comedy,

452
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 3: Like I sink every fucking day into comedy, so much

453
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,760
Speaker 3: so that I drain myself dry.

454
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,360
Speaker 4: Nothing.

455
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 3: I got nothing.

456
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,679
Speaker 4: That's why it sucks so bad when my comedy doesn't

457
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 4: do good. I'm like, fuck, I'm gonna kill myself.

458
00:25:44,040 --> 00:25:52,919
Speaker 3: I did everything, I did everything, I disassociated from the

459
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,520
Speaker 3: horrors of the world for this. At least let it work.

460
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 4: I ruined my whole personality for this.

461
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,719
Speaker 3: Come on, man, I could have been a champion for

462
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 3: justice and truth and I chose this, So it has

463
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 3: to work. I think about it all the time of

464
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 3: like how much I sort of have to like shut

465
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 3: down a moral code that I know that I believe

466
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 3: that I live under actively for the sake of getting

467
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 3: a joke off or being able to reason with a

468
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 3: comedic idea that sometimes has like vile undertones, and and

469
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:39,760
Speaker 3: when it doesn't work, you are you feel like garbage?

470
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 3: You're such a set guy, yeah.

471
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 4: Because you mix those words up and then it's like

472
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:49,240
Speaker 4: because sometimes it's like a you're tiptoeing, especially with the

473
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,240
Speaker 4: new shit. Man, I don't want to go to your

474
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 4: stand upuff to this now. I feel like.

475
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 3: I'm glad I don't spot tonight, but I gotta do

476
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:07,959
Speaker 3: hour great. Yeah, you'll kill it. So, dear caller, our

477
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:13,320
Speaker 3: our inaugural caller, I would say the the beginner caller,

478
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 3: we would say that, yes, our plastic surgeons are making

479
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:21,439
Speaker 3: people look like Beyonce. No, it is not subconscious. It

480
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 3: is very conscious, and we're all maybe needing to spend

481
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 3: a little more time thinking about why we would want

482
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,560
Speaker 3: that as a society.

483
00:27:31,359 --> 00:27:31,919
Speaker 4: Beautiful.

484
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,400
Speaker 3: All right, Well, you want to tell the people where

485
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 3: they can find you? What cool soon got.

486
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:41,920
Speaker 4: Joke eighty seven on Instagram, Go to patreon dot com,

487
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 4: backslash David bory g b o r I E go

488
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:49,439
Speaker 4: buy my motherfucking special Birth of a Nation. It's very funny.

489
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 4: You're gonna love it, walk your dog to it, make

490
00:27:54,280 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 4: love to it.

491
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:56,919
Speaker 3: Mm hm oh.

492
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 4: It's also available on all streaming platforms Spotify all that shit.

493
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,040
Speaker 3: Yeah all right, that makes more sense.

494
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 4: To it.

495
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 3: I don't watch visual Yeah, that's fucking crazy. You can.

496
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,359
Speaker 3: You can follow me at Langston Herman on all social

497
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,320
Speaker 3: media platforms. You can watch my special on Netflix. It's

498
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 3: called bad Poetry. That's oh. If you want to send

499
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,159
Speaker 3: us your own drops, your own conspiracy theories, if you

500
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,399
Speaker 3: want to tell us what beauty standards we should shift

501
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:36,640
Speaker 3: everything to, uh for the next wave of plastic surgery,

502
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 3: send it all to my Mama pot at gmail dot com.

503
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 3: And please like this sweet sweet, I would say, over

504
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:48,000
Speaker 3: zealous caller who uh two things a step too far,

505
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 3: but but we we love her anyway. Send us your

506
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 3: own voicemails at eight four four Little Moms. We want

507
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,960
Speaker 3: to hear from you at eight four four Little Moms.

508
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 3: Call us now and maybe your your voicemail will get

509
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 3: read on the episode and like subscribe rate review by

510
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 3: the merch Say bye to your loved ones before you go.

511
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 3: Who knows what's gonna happen to you? Bye, bitch?

512
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:31,040
Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini episode mini episode, motherfucking Mini everis motherfucking Mini

513
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 1: everis so mini episode? Motherfucking mini episode