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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host. Oh yeah, and we got some great

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Speaker 1: stories coming up. But before that we get a teeny

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Speaker 1: two minute break from the sponsors that keep this show

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Speaker 1: propped up like a little house.

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Speaker 2: Oh you, my husband doesn't seem interested in Thanksgiving, so

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Speaker 2: I'm excluding him.

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Speaker 1: You should cook him and add him to the table.

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Speaker 2: I thirty three female and my husband forty two mail

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Speaker 2: have been together for ten years, married for almost four,

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Speaker 2: and have loved together for eight. We usually spend Thanksgiving

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Speaker 2: with my parents who live down the road, and Christmas

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Speaker 2: with his mom, who lives three hours away. By the way,

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Speaker 2: this comes from one Confection sixty three sixty three and

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Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay, Storytime Suppurate and we're here to

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Speaker 2: give good advice.

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Speaker 1: Goofully.

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we do, so let us know you would do

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Speaker 2: in the comments and OP says in the past, he

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Speaker 2: had a very demanding job, worked fifty plus hours a

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Speaker 2: week and was on call.

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Speaker 3: At all times.

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Speaker 2: Meanwhile, I work an office job, set schedule and holidays off.

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Speaker 2: I learned to cook Thanksgiving dinner for us all it

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Speaker 2: always did the shopping. This year, however, my husband quit

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Speaker 2: his demanding job a few months ago that was causing

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Speaker 2: a lot of mental health issues and found a new

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Speaker 2: job in the same field that he loves. It's lower

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Speaker 2: pay and part time, but he makes up for it

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Speaker 2: financially with his eBay account, which he makes a decent

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Speaker 2: amount off of. I've been thinking about Thanksgiving, but hadn't

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Speaker 2: been able to get to the store like I usually

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Speaker 2: do every year because in Aunt. Because on top of

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Speaker 2: my job, I'm taking college classes this semester, trying to

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Speaker 2: start on my bachelor's degree. Less last week, I came

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Speaker 2: down sick with a sinus infection and was out from

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Speaker 2: Monday night through Sunday. I'm still feeling stuffy and congested,

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Speaker 2: but I've been going to work and wearing a mask.

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Speaker 2: I asked my husband yesterday to please go to the

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Speaker 2: store and get something anything for Thanksgiving. I worked until eight,

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Speaker 2: and when I got home, he was playing video games

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Speaker 2: and said he forgot, but he showed me. He went

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Speaker 2: to the little Italian grocer's next door for lunch to

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Speaker 2: get a sub and picked up cranberry sauce. He could

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Speaker 2: have gotten the other items for Thanksgiving right there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but he's too crowded, so after he got his sub

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Speaker 2: he left. I know how long that Q takes to

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Speaker 2: get your sub. While he was waiting for his number

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Speaker 2: to be called, he could have easily walked around and

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Speaker 2: picked up the other items. So today he has a

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Speaker 2: half day at work, so I asked him this morning

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Speaker 2: if he could please go to the store once he

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Speaker 2: gets off to get what we need for Thanksgiving. And

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Speaker 2: he snapped at me, saying that this wasn't all his

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Speaker 2: fault and we both forgot and he doesn't like how

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Speaker 2: I'm telling.

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Speaker 3: Him he need to do this, he need to do.

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Speaker 2: That, which I didn't I asked politely, And now he

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Speaker 2: doesn't even want to do Thanksgiving because of all the

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Speaker 2: pressure he feels. So I'm gonna call my parents ask

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Speaker 2: them to go to the store and pick up what

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Speaker 2: they can for a small Thanksgiving and spend it with them.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't want to.

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Speaker 2: Do Thanksgiving, fine, but my parents will not be left

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Speaker 2: in the lurch because of his attitude. So am I

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Speaker 2: the ale Howe And.

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Speaker 3: There is an update?

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Speaker 1: I mean, was there an agreement for you to get

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Speaker 1: the food instead of him was it doesn't sound like it.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like he agreed to get the food and

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Speaker 2: then he didn't get the food, So I get de shores.

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Speaker 3: I got disasto.

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Speaker 2: Maybe I did quite a sine, but there is an

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Speaker 2: update three days later. Hey everyone, thank you so much

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Speaker 2: for all the comments I received about my husband not

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Speaker 2: buying groceries. A little clarification for everyone. Our ages have

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Speaker 2: never been an issue. I pursued him, not the other

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Speaker 2: way around. And no, it's not daddy issues. I have

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Speaker 2: a healthy relationship with my dad. I do not do

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Speaker 2: all the housework and cooking. Typically, he is actually the

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Speaker 2: one that cooks because he's much better at it.

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Speaker 3: Than I am.

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Speaker 2: We will usually do grocery shopping together. He cooks, he

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Speaker 2: cooks an eye clean for our everyday meals, so the

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Speaker 2: workload is shared.

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Speaker 3: It was just for holiday meals.

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Speaker 2: I did it all in the past because he typically

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Speaker 2: had to go to work on Thanksgiving.

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Speaker 3: But I'm always off.

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Speaker 2: As some people pointed out, it reeks of depression on

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Speaker 2: his part, and yes it does, because he has actually

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Speaker 2: been diagnosed with depression years ago. He's on medication, but

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Speaker 2: refuses to see a therapist to actually talk things out

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Speaker 2: so I am usually much more understanding, but there's only

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Speaker 2: so much that I can take as well.

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Speaker 3: I'm only human too.

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Speaker 2: Okay, now into what you all actually want.

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Speaker 3: The update.

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Speaker 2: That morning, after making the post, I finished getting ready

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Speaker 2: for work, called my parents and asked them to pick

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Speaker 2: up some groceries, which I would pick up from them

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Speaker 2: on my way home from work. I called my husband,

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Speaker 2: he was already at work, and told him that I

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Speaker 2: was asking my parents to pick up groceries, so don't

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Speaker 2: worry about it. He could hear the upset tone in

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Speaker 2: my voice and asked who was wrong. I told him

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Speaker 2: that I was upset over this morning, but we would

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Speaker 2: talk about it later. I faltered and started talking more,

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Speaker 2: but it started to turn into an arm argument over

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Speaker 2: the phone.

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Speaker 3: Again.

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Speaker 2: He got upset that I was doing this while he

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Speaker 2: was at work, but I reminded him that he was

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Speaker 2: the one who brought it up. I never told him

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Speaker 2: that he was banned from Thanksgiving. I wanted to wait

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Speaker 2: to see if he would fix the attitude, because for me,

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Speaker 2: Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and it's about being thankful

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Speaker 2: for what you do have, not focusing on what's missing.

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Speaker 2: I really didn't want to do it without him, but

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Speaker 2: I was prepared to in case he didn't check himself.

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Speaker 2: After we hung up and I got to work. As

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Speaker 2: I pulled in the garage, he texted saying I love you.

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Speaker 2: Can we stop until we talk, which I took to

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Speaker 2: mean a stop arguing.

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Speaker 3: So we did.

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Speaker 2: I went through my day at work, and we were

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Speaker 2: really busy since Pierre closed Thanksgiving and Black Friday. I

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Speaker 2: worked with the public and children and it was an

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Speaker 2: exhausting day. Sometime around three, he texted me a picture

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Speaker 2: of the huge stack of his eBay sales that he

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Speaker 2: packed up and was taking to the post office. I

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Speaker 2: didn't see it until I got off work, though. When

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Speaker 2: I got off at five, I walked back to the

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Speaker 2: garage with my coworkers, got in the car, and did

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Speaker 2: my usual routine of texting him that I was leaving work.

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Speaker 3: He never asked that I do this.

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Speaker 2: I choose to for personal safety since I worked downtown,

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Speaker 2: So don't go jump into conclusions saying he's controlling or whatever.

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Speaker 2: My parents live about five minutes from my work, so

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Speaker 2: I swung by their place to get what they picked up.

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Speaker 2: Dad picked up two small, pre cooked smoked turkeys.

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Speaker 3: He told me they were.

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Speaker 2: Buy one, get one, broccoli, croissant rolls, and pre cooked

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Speaker 2: all got some, but they do. Then as I was

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Speaker 2: leaving my parents, my husband called. I told him that

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Speaker 2: I was leaving mom and dads and what they got

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Speaker 2: for Thanksgiving dinner. He then told me that he went

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Speaker 2: to the store and also got food for Thanksgiving dinner.

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Speaker 2: I was a little peeved because that means he didn't

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Speaker 2: listen when I told him my parents were doing the shopping,

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Speaker 2: but also was relieved that he realized his mistake and

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Speaker 2: tried to fix it. When I got home, we both

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Speaker 2: waited to cool down before talking. He picked up the

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Speaker 2: same smoke turkey my dad got, but thankfully only one.

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Speaker 2: He also got potatoes, two different types of stuffing, yams, marshmallows,

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Speaker 2: king Hawaiian rolls, green means cream of mushroom, soup, heavy

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Speaker 2: whipping cream, shredded cheese, and a pumpkin pie. He also

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Speaker 2: picked up a few regular things we needed for the house,

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Speaker 2: like cases of water and milk. Then we sat down

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Speaker 2: and had a long discussion. It did devolve into an

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Speaker 2: argument at one point because he kept trying to lighten

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Speaker 2: the mood with jokes, but I just wasn't ready for that.

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Speaker 2: Yet eventually he came in and said he was sorry,

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Speaker 2: he loved me, and he really did want to talk.

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Speaker 2: I asked him if he was ready to be serious,

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Speaker 2: and he said yes. I love his goofy randomness. It's

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Speaker 2: part of why I chose him. But there's a time

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Speaker 2: and place for it.

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Speaker 1: Are you shittiest? Are you shittiest right now?

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Speaker 3: We talked it all through.

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Speaker 2: Now he feels like nothing he does is good enough

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Speaker 2: because I always find something else to nitpick.

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Speaker 1: Not even you don't even like a jokes. Okay.

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Speaker 2: He took care of me while I was sick and

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Speaker 2: made sure I wasn't wanting for anything the entire time

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Speaker 2: I was stuck in bad His eb account does sell

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Speaker 2: a lot because he puts a lot of effort into

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Speaker 2: posting on there, and he's managed to keep a high

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Speaker 2: rating because he always sends up packages quickly. He will

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Speaker 2: usually box and ship about five to ten packages a day.

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Speaker 2: He also said how he just doesn't care for Thanks

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Speaker 2: Uving anymore because we are pretty much the black sheep

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Speaker 2: of every extended family on both sides. He would be

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Speaker 2: more excited if it were more people rather than just

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Speaker 2: the four of us and it's a lot of work

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Speaker 2: for just four people. I told him that it wasn't

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Speaker 2: that he doesn't do enough, but it's specifically when he

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Speaker 2: neglects to do the favors I ask of him or

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Speaker 2: forgets them that makes me feel like I'm not important

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Speaker 2: enough to him. It's several little things here and there

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Speaker 2: that really don't matter, but all end up stacking up.

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Speaker 2: And this was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

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Speaker 2: I know all about forgetting. I have ADHD and forget

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Speaker 2: all the time, but he has always helped me manage

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Speaker 2: it by telling me to put reminders or alarms on

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Speaker 2: my phone or even with my classwork this semester, since

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Speaker 2: it's all online, and before we start watching a movie

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Speaker 2: together or I start playing my video game, he'll ask

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Speaker 2: me if I have any classwork that needs to be done.

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Speaker 2: Because of his reminders, I have only been late with

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Speaker 2: two assignments this semester, both were because I was sick.

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Speaker 2: After talking it out, we both seem to have a

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Speaker 2: better understanding of each other. I again told them how

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Speaker 2: important Thanksgiving is for me and that it doesn't matter

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Speaker 2: that it's only the four of us, because when I

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Speaker 2: was growing up it was just my sister, my parents

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Speaker 2: and me, and it's more about the principle of being

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Speaker 2: together and thankful for what we do have. That's it

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Speaker 2: seems like everything's going really well.

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Speaker 1: Seems like we've kind of recovered. We've pivoted and recovered

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Speaker 1: a little bit.

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Speaker 2: Here, we did a little er and now and now

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Speaker 2: we've got three turkeys, a little bit of love for

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Speaker 2: each other, and a whole lot of understanding.

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Speaker 1: Four turkeys if you count Opie's partner.

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Speaker 2: Fives.

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Speaker 3: If they went bowling and they got a.

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Speaker 1: Turkey, well you gotta get three strikes in a row

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Speaker 1: for that. Yeah, all right, it takes it. It takes said,

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Speaker 1: can summit professional.

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Speaker 2: Thanksgiving morning, we watched the parade in bed. Then we

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Speaker 2: got up and cleaned off the dining room table together,

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Speaker 2: which was so overcrowded due to his depression and my ADHD.

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Speaker 2: We haven't eaten on it in about a month. After

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Speaker 2: we did that, some of the boys messaged him to

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Speaker 2: get online as there was a special Thanksgiving event in game.

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Speaker 2: He did, but only enough to complete the missions and

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Speaker 2: got right off.

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Speaker 1: Yore, give it away, digital turkeys. You gotta get on

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Speaker 1: right now.

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Speaker 2: I have the boys playing games. Why they got a

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Speaker 2: Thanksgiving a game?

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Speaker 1: He gues there's a limited edition the Thanksgiving hat that

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Speaker 1: you can win if you play in the game.

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Speaker 2: And you delay thankees, I always wanted to wear a

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Speaker 2: tooky on my head.

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Speaker 1: I've always wanted dish.

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Speaker 3: They know that. Well, he did that.

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Speaker 2: I peeled and jabbed the potatoes and started to boil them.

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Speaker 2: Then I put together to the green bean castle role

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Speaker 2: croissant rolls and turned the oven on to preheat. After

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Speaker 2: he got off his game, I asked him to do

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Speaker 2: the dishes that I accumulated while I was cooking. Then

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Speaker 2: I got to sit down and he started on the

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Speaker 2: sweet potato carole stuffing and got the turkey out of

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Speaker 2: the fridge to warm up. How many of the turkeys

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Speaker 2: did you get out? Just one or all three? Hi?

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Speaker 1: Four?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you got an extra turkey just in case.

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Speaker 1: They found one in the back.

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Speaker 2: Then he put the stuffing in the turkey into the

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Speaker 2: oven to warm and finished with dinner while I went

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Speaker 2: to pick up my parents. This is so specific and

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Speaker 2: like detailed that I keep thinking that something is going

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Speaker 2: to happen.

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Speaker 1: And nothing does.

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Speaker 2: But I'm wondering if this is just like dinner? Nice

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Speaker 2: and we're getting a really detailed account of Thanksgiving dinner

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Speaker 2: because I'm waiting for it to be like And then

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Speaker 2: he did this and refused, but it's not coming yet.

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Speaker 1: And then he threw the turkey into the backyard and said,

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Speaker 1: let the world was feast.

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Speaker 2: By the time I brought them back, he was already

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Speaker 2: I helped to set the table, and we had a

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Speaker 2: very nice Thanksgiving together. Okay, so it was all good.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Sometimes all it takes is a nice coassan. It's

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Speaker 1: true to bring people together. You know, it's true.

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Speaker 2: Three turkeys always brings people together. It's it's just the facts.

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Speaker 2: But good job communicating. This all worked out really well,

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Speaker 2: and you had a nice dinner.

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Speaker 1: So I'll tell you one thing. I sure am thankful

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Speaker 1: that this turned out to be a nice toop continues.

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Speaker 2: At the end of the night, after I had taken

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Speaker 2: my parents home and we were just by ourselves again,

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Speaker 2: he asked if I had a good Thanksgiving, and I

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Speaker 2: told him yes, and asked if he did too.

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Speaker 3: He also said yes.

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Speaker 2: We talked some more about how we can better plan

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Speaker 2: for next year. Overall, I would have been the ale

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Speaker 2: if I had truly excluded him, but he was also

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Speaker 2: the ale for snapping over something that as adults we

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Speaker 2: should we should just suck up and do. Thank you

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Speaker 2: to everyone for your comments. It really helped me see

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Speaker 2: the bigger picture.

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Speaker 1: Some of your.

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Speaker 2: Comments were way off and ridiculous, though, so it helped

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Speaker 2: me to laugh about the situation and see that it

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Speaker 2: wasn't as bad as my rejection sensitivity was making it

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Speaker 2: out to be. He's not cheating, it's not useless and lazy,

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Speaker 2: and he, by no means is a self absorbed person.

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Speaker 2: We both just have things we need to work on

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Speaker 2: human beings, but it's despite both of our faults that

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Speaker 2: we still love each other and are able to make

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Speaker 2: it through. So again, thank you.

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Speaker 1: That's right, that's right, that's right. Sometimes, you know, sometimes

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Speaker 1: people on the internet, when they're belone and they comment

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Speaker 1: something on a thread, they'll just be like, well, this

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Speaker 1: person clearly is not perfect, so you should leave them,

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Speaker 1: you idiot. And it's just not always the right advice.

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Speaker 2: Oh and we just have to take all of that

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Speaker 2: advice that we get on runn it with a grain

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Speaker 2: of salt.

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Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're gonna go

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Speaker 1: on to the next one. My husband wants to raise

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Speaker 1: his orphaned nephews, but I doub't.

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Speaker 2: Geez, are you that lady from Annie?

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Speaker 1: My husband thirty two male, and I twenty eight female,

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Speaker 1: have been married for two years together for five until now,

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Speaker 1: I would have said that we had the perfect relationship,

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Speaker 1: but right now it seems like that is over and

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure who the ale is, if anyone. By

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Speaker 1: the way, this comes from user Mountain Shadows seven six

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Speaker 1: y nine and if you want us to meet your

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Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subburt it.

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Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, and we are here to give

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Speaker 1: you good advice goofy because we have a bunch of

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Speaker 1: good little goofballs, but we only know what we would do.

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Speaker 1: We don't know everything, but you might, so tell us

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Speaker 1: what you would do in the comments. I grew up

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Speaker 1: in a really bad and neglectful situation. I have been

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Speaker 1: to therapy and done the work, but there are still

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Speaker 1: some issues that are just going to be permanent. I

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Speaker 1: think the two relevant ones here are that I need

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Speaker 1: to have a calm, safe living space that is mine

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Speaker 1: to function, and I do not do well around children.

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Speaker 1: I do not hate children, but I was forced into

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Speaker 1: raising seven siblings and step siblings when I was still

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Speaker 1: a kid myself. I will never be responsible for another

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Speaker 1: kid for as long as I live. I have had

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Speaker 1: my tubes removed to make absolutely sure there will never

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Speaker 1: be an oops. My husband has known this since the

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Speaker 1: beginning and does not want children as well. His family

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00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,920
Speaker 1: situation is allo not great, but he is still involved

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Speaker 1: with them, mostly for his mom and nephew's sake. About

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Speaker 1: a month ago, sister in law and her partner passed away.

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Speaker 1: The boys were visiting mother in law. Thankfully, mother in law,

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Speaker 1: the boys, and my husband are devastated. Mister in law

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Speaker 1: was not my favorite person in the world, but nobody

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Speaker 1: deserves that, and I am trying to be supportive of

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Speaker 1: their grief. The problem is that there is nowhere for

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Speaker 1: the boys to go. They were staying with mother in law,

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Speaker 1: but her health is so poor that DHR decided she's

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Speaker 1: not stable enough to have custody. Their father's family does

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Speaker 1: not have anything to do with them. My husband has

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Speaker 1: a younger brother, but he has a substance use issue

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Speaker 1: and is not in a good place to take on

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Speaker 1: two kids. That leaves my husband and me as the

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Speaker 1: only real family placement option. My husband is not thrilled

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Speaker 1: about bringing kids into the situation, but he feels like

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Speaker 1: he has to keep them out of foster care, which

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Speaker 1: I understand. Here is the I absolutely do not want

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Speaker 1: these kids living under the same roof as me. It

355
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 1: is a PTSD trigger. But also they are, understandably for

356
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Speaker 1: their situation, not the best behaved kids to start with.

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Speaker 1: Add some trauma onto that, and these kids are going

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Speaker 1: to need a lot of help. My husband swears that

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Speaker 1: he will do everything for them, but I think he's

360
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:24,960
Speaker 1: being unrealistic. We got into a really nasty argument about it,

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Speaker 1: and he said that this is a make or break

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Speaker 1: moment for the marriage because he's not backing down, and

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Speaker 1: he will take the kids and divorce me if he

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Speaker 1: has to. Our house was mine before we got married.

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Speaker 1: I inherited it from my grandmother. I insisted on a

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Speaker 1: prenup to protect it when we got married. My husband

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Speaker 1: has a health issue that makes full time work difficult,

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Speaker 1: and he struggled at the best of times before we

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Speaker 1: got married. If we split up, his chances of finding

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00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:53,120
Speaker 1: an affordable place to live nearby in the current market

371
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,360
Speaker 1: are not good. He is not quite disabled enough to

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Speaker 1: receive disability. Frankly, if I am of the house, we're

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Speaker 1: not part of the bargain. I'm not sure that DHR

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Speaker 1: would place the kids with him, where I might be

375
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Speaker 1: the A hole is that after he threw the D

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Speaker 1: word at me, I told him that in that case

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Speaker 1: he would need to move out of my house because

378
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Speaker 1: he would no longer be welcome go back to working

379
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Speaker 1: full time because I would not be bankrolling an X

380
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,679
Speaker 1: and good luck taking care of two traumatized kids with

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Speaker 1: his health, much lower income and without stable housing. I

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00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,440
Speaker 1: think it had not occurred to him just how much

383
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 1: he would lose access to because we have always just

384
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Speaker 1: shared without thinking about it. He's not speaking to me

385
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,720
Speaker 1: right now, and mother in law called and read me

386
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Speaker 1: the Riot Act for financial looks and abandoning family. I

387
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 1: feel for the nephews, I really do, but I am

388
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 1: not the person those kids need right now. And I

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00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:49,439
Speaker 1: feel like I was very clear from the beginning that

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Speaker 1: I would never be okay taking care of kids or

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Speaker 1: living with them. I think we're cooked either way at

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Speaker 1: this point. But am I the A hole? And there's meta?

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Speaker 2: I don't think it's fair for your in laws to

394
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,879
Speaker 2: call you and say, oh, financial abuse. It's your money.

395
00:18:07,240 --> 00:18:12,440
Speaker 2: You're not saying I'm taking away now, you're saying if

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Speaker 2: we were to divorce, you would no longer have access

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Speaker 2: to that.

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00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you didn't take any steps to like

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00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,880
Speaker 1: knock him out of being able to make his own

400
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 1: money or access certain funt like you didn't do any

401
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 1: of that. And this that you keeping the house was

402
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 1: decided in a prenup which you both agreed to, So

403
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,520
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like it to me, doesn't sound very abusive.

404
00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,359
Speaker 3: Just seems like a very tricky situation.

405
00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,240
Speaker 2: A lot of people are mentioning, you know, he has

406
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,119
Speaker 2: health issues, but it's going to take care of the kids.

407
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:42,680
Speaker 3: How is that going to work? I think he.

408
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,920
Speaker 2: Potentially needs to look into, you know, everything that would

409
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,359
Speaker 2: go into raising these kids to see if he is

410
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 2: the best option for them if he were just doing

411
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,159
Speaker 2: it individually, because you are not on board.

412
00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, it probably wouldn't. Probably wouldn't work out that way

413
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 1: if he had no residence, workplace to stay, or live,

414
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,080
Speaker 1: because I doubt he'd be able to afford anything for

415
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:08,440
Speaker 1: enough space for two children and himself on part time work.

416
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 1: But there is an edit. There's a lot of responses,

417
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,920
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to get to them all. I'm taking

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00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,239
Speaker 1: a ptoday to deal with some of this stuff and

419
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,840
Speaker 1: get myself back together. As a lot of you have said,

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00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,160
Speaker 1: there is no way back from this, and I think

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00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,439
Speaker 1: I'm going to go ahead and accept that now instead

422
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 1: of dragging it out. The trust is gone. I made

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00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 1: an appointment with a lawyer this morning, and from what

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00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,919
Speaker 1: I have read, an uncontested divorce could go pretty quickly

425
00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:37,640
Speaker 1: and smoothly if we do not squabble over money. That's

426
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,199
Speaker 1: a pretty big if there OPI I do not have

427
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,680
Speaker 1: any interest in screwing him over, but I also will

428
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,520
Speaker 1: not be screwed over. I hate it. I wish this

429
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 1: was not happening, but I have worked way too hard

430
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,960
Speaker 1: for a stable life to flush it down the toilet.

431
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 1: I'm going to freeze my credit and lock down the

432
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:57,440
Speaker 1: accounts today in case he or mother in law get

433
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:01,439
Speaker 1: ideas and have the talk tonight. I'm also about to

434
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,320
Speaker 1: call the case manager contact at DHR and explain the

435
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: situation so it's on record and they can start making

436
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,199
Speaker 1: a plan that does not include me as part of

437
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:12,440
Speaker 1: the equation. I am debating how much help I'm going

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00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 1: to continue providing. I will continue to help my husband

439
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,119
Speaker 1: while he lives here, but I was also doing a

440
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,680
Speaker 1: lot to help out mother in law with things her

441
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,959
Speaker 1: health makes difficult and allow her to put her energy

442
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,199
Speaker 1: towards the kids right now, and I think that is

443
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 1: going to stop since it is not appreciated and the

444
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,840
Speaker 1: relationship is over. As far as the whole looking after

445
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:36,560
Speaker 1: family thing, I do not believe in family. Family has

446
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,000
Speaker 1: done more harm to me than anything else in this

447
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,239
Speaker 1: world and provided not a single benefit. So I do

448
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:48,040
Speaker 1: not put any value on blood or relationious dangan need.

449
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,359
Speaker 2: It's totally fair for you to have had your experiences,

450
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:55,680
Speaker 2: but like clearly you are still dealing with massive amounts

451
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 2: of PTSD and trauma. I feel like she probably would

452
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 2: already be going to therapy if she says that she's

453
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,960
Speaker 2: experienced that. But if you're not, definitely go.

454
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 1: I do what I can when I can for others.

455
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 1: But I know in the same circumstance none of these

456
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: people would ever help me, either because they cannot or

457
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 1: they just would not care that much. So just spare

458
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,960
Speaker 1: me the whole They're your family stuff. Please, That world

459
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,840
Speaker 1: does not hit the same way for me that it

460
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,280
Speaker 1: does for you. I will update once I have talked

461
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:28,440
Speaker 1: to my husband and figured out a path forward. Thanks

462
00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,479
Speaker 1: for the input, even if some of you think I

463
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:34,760
Speaker 1: am a monster. There's a second edit. Well, that was

464
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 1: a rough night, TLDR. Now he does not want a

465
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,800
Speaker 1: divorce and wants to figure something out. The stress of

466
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,399
Speaker 1: the whole situation is pushing him into a flare, so

467
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,280
Speaker 1: I'm giving him some grace. But I told him that

468
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,480
Speaker 1: we will not go back to exactly the way things

469
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: were before the d word. No matter what happens now,

470
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:54,360
Speaker 1: I do not trust him. He needs to sit down

471
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 1: with the social worker, look at the facts, and make

472
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,879
Speaker 1: a call on his own. I have the lawyer's recommendations

473
00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 1: for an amicable divorce filing. We can discuss if he

474
00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: decides on that route. His mom said some unforgivable things

475
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 1: in her little tirade, so the things I was doing

476
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 1: to help her stop now. Whatever happens, I will make

477
00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: sure he has health insurance until he can make other arrangements.

478
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: I would be willing to discuss all of this in

479
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: counseling with him while we try to sort it out,

480
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 1: but for now, one of us is moving into the

481
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,639
Speaker 1: spare room, or he can go stay with his mom.

482
00:22:27,119 --> 00:22:30,919
Speaker 1: He's upset but agreed. It's probably going to take some

483
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:33,159
Speaker 1: time to get a resolution, but I will try to

484
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:36,240
Speaker 1: post again down the road once the situation settles out

485
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 1: and there is an update.

486
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:44,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like, oh, he is leaning towards divorce,

487
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 2: regardless of you know, whether or not he changed his mind.

488
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 2: It's fair because he can't really put that genie back.

489
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 3: In the bottle.

490
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 1: Once you said it. It's on the table now it exists.

491
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 2: I understand partially why he said it, because he clearly

492
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,199
Speaker 2: cares about those kids and wanted, you know, wants to

493
00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,880
Speaker 2: make sure they have someone like some family.

494
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,520
Speaker 3: But yeah, I also understand why she's reacting like this.

495
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 2: So it's just kind of you set your priorities and

496
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,160
Speaker 2: now you're gonna have to deal with those consequences.

497
00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:23,399
Speaker 1: True that update two weeks later, mother in law lost

498
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 1: her mind. Everyone is mad. The bad news is that

499
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 1: DHR decided my significant other's medical situation rules him out

500
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,719
Speaker 1: as a primary guardian for the kids. He would not

501
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 1: be able to adequately care for them during a flare.

502
00:23:37,040 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 1: Same for his mom. They have the same condition. He

503
00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:44,439
Speaker 1: is worse than hers, but hers is more advanced. The

504
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 1: good news is that the social worker talked the paternal

505
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 1: relatives into agreeing to a DNA test. They did not

506
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 1: believe that the kids were really my sister in law's partners,

507
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: and he and sister in law were keeping the situation

508
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,639
Speaker 1: on the down low because he was married, so they

509
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 1: never established legal paternity. DNA was a match, so the

510
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: grandparents on that side are taking the kid. But that

511
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,320
Speaker 1: means as far as visitation for my so and mother

512
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,800
Speaker 1: in law is still being hashed out, but the whole

513
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 1: thing has been de escalated a lot thanks to a

514
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 1: really competent case manager. As far as the divorce, I

515
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 1: am going ahead with it and filing this week. He's

516
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:25,719
Speaker 1: moved back in with his mom. They are salty about it,

517
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 1: but that is to be expected. I still love him

518
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,639
Speaker 1: and wish him the best, but I am done. His

519
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 1: family is too much drama, and I do not trust

520
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,439
Speaker 1: him the way that I did before this. Given that

521
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: we were only married two years and the house is

522
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 1: mine from before the marriage and protected, it should be

523
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:51,920
Speaker 1: a clean break, you know. Ah ah, Yeah, at least

524
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: the kids got somewhere to live.

525
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:57,119
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't know if y'all are saying together, but Uh.

526
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:57,080
Speaker 1: They're not.

527
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well they're not.

528
00:24:58,960 --> 00:24:59,320
Speaker 2: They're not.

529
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,160
Speaker 3: I guess I don't know if you can figure that out.

530
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 3: Doesn't seem like it.

531
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,399
Speaker 2: At least the kids are staying together and the getting

532
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:07,879
Speaker 2: a home.

533
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 1: Hopefully. The grandparents are you know, the good guy. They're

534
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: like SpongeBob's parents hopefully. Yes. Okay, while I missed him

535
00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:20,639
Speaker 1: being here, I am already feeling less stressed with him gone,

536
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,959
Speaker 1: and I did not realize that had been creeping up

537
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 1: on me for a while. I think I'm done with

538
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 1: romantic relationships, at least for a good long while. So

539
00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,160
Speaker 1: I'm going to focus on my career and some fun

540
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: stuff I've not had time to do since taking on

541
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:38,119
Speaker 1: a caretaker role. Thank you to those that offered support

542
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 1: and advice. It sucks that any of this happened to

543
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,880
Speaker 1: begin with, but I think it's it is ending about

544
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,640
Speaker 1: as well as it could. At this point, I will

545
00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:49,640
Speaker 1: be dropping contact with my ex's family, so I doubt

546
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: i'll have anything else to update. Good for you, what

547
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: condition does your ex have? I was guessing multiple sclerosis.

548
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 1: I was guessing MS. After what his mother said to you,

549
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,919
Speaker 1: I would have been flat out done as well. You

550
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,040
Speaker 1: have shown these people nothing but kindness. In the moment

551
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 1: you push back, they showed you who they truly are.

552
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: His family is not just drama. They are butt birds.

553
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: They are always going to be butt birds. Opie says.

554
00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:18,280
Speaker 1: They have MS and myasthenia gravis. He has the childhood

555
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:21,720
Speaker 1: onset variant, so he's a lot more debilitated, but his

556
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 1: mom's has progressed more. It is managed as well as

557
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,040
Speaker 1: it can be, but I still would not wish it

558
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 1: on my worst enemy. And that there you go, is

559
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:30,719
Speaker 1: the end of that story.

560
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 2: I plan to donate my old clothes and it made

561
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 2: my husband furious.

562
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:40,679
Speaker 1: Iers Those are my favorite close of old time. Please no, no, God, no.

563
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,400
Speaker 2: Fe mail twenty seven. Live with my husband male twenty eight.

564
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,920
Speaker 2: We've been together for eight years, living together for six

565
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 2: and married for two. By the way, this comes from

566
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,000
Speaker 2: Top Crab ninety three forty seven, and if you want

567
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,720
Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

568
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 2: Okay storytime subbered it.

569
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:58,720
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm the Top Crab Dakota.

570
00:26:59,119 --> 00:26:59,840
Speaker 3: Opie says.

571
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 2: Recently I got sick and was given two weeks off

572
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,439
Speaker 2: work to recover. A few days in I felt a

573
00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 2: bit more energized and decided to slowly begin deep cleaning

574
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 2: whenever I felt up to it, mostly to prepare for

575
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 2: Christmas and have a sparkling clean house for New Year's

576
00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 2: We cleaned daily, but the place needed a more throw

577
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 2: deep cleaning, and we never really have the time or.

578
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:22,959
Speaker 3: Energy with work.

579
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 2: We usually used the first week in of December to

580
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,200
Speaker 2: deep clean, so I thought i'd just get ahead start

581
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 2: on a few rooms earlier. On Wednesday, I tackled the

582
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:35,439
Speaker 2: bedroom and realized how many clothes I have that I

583
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: just haven't worn in years, or that are beyond repair.

584
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 2: The clothes I haven't worn in a few years were

585
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:44,919
Speaker 2: put aside, and the very few items of clothes beyond

586
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,840
Speaker 2: repair were tossed, maybe about six things that were just unwearable.

587
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,840
Speaker 2: I left the bags of clothes in the storage closet

588
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,719
Speaker 2: next to the front door so I could grab them

589
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 2: whenever I was headed to town to donate them.

590
00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,639
Speaker 3: And I just moved on with tidying.

591
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 2: I had made maybe three bags of clothes to donate,

592
00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,679
Speaker 2: since I rarely go through my clothes with the intention

593
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 2: of getting rid of them. My husband saw the bags

594
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 2: the next day and asked me about them. They explained

595
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 2: they would be donated, and he just laughed and said, uh,

596
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 2: yeah right. I asked what he meant, and he told

597
00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 2: me I spend so much money on clothes and now

598
00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 2: I'm just throwing them out. I told them I haven't

599
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,919
Speaker 2: worn them in a while, so they're being donated. He

600
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,240
Speaker 2: told me I'm being ridiculous, and that if I'm going

601
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:32,199
Speaker 2: to spend over one hundred euros on singular items of

602
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:34,960
Speaker 2: clothing that I need either need to get my money's

603
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,679
Speaker 2: worth and wear them more often or return them. I

604
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: pointed out that all the clothes being donated are from

605
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 2: five to eleven years ago, especially the ones from when

606
00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,840
Speaker 2: I was eighteen to twenty three, and they were all

607
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 2: worn many times and loved.

608
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,760
Speaker 3: But they don't serve me and any purpose now.

609
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 2: He told me to save them for our daughters.

610
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 3: I said, we don't.

611
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 2: Have any children besides her cat. I don't think holliworl

612
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 2: wants my old levies that are two sizes too.

613
00:28:59,320 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 3: Small for me.

614
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 2: He probably wouldn't wear my old clubbing dresses either. My

615
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 2: husband then told me I shouldn't spend so much on

616
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 2: clothes if they'll be thrown out one day, and then

617
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,440
Speaker 2: he left the room today. He's still super cold with me.

618
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 2: He'll answer with one or two words at most, and

619
00:29:13,000 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: keeps muttering things like I haven't worn this summer coat

620
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 2: in a month. Maybe I should throw it out anytime

621
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 2: I pass him. And it's maddening because obviously we're in

622
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: winter now and it's freezing. I hope you're not wearing

623
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 2: a light jacket outside. I do spend a lot of

624
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,080
Speaker 2: money on clothes every few months, but usually I just

625
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 2: buy one or two things, maybe six to ten things

626
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 2: a year, and I take my clothes to the seamstress

627
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 2: and to be dry cleaned if needed.

628
00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 3: It's not like I'm doing the food.

629
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 2: Shop, wearing head to toe ball main, putting on Chanelle

630
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 2: to go to the post office, trying to decide what

631
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 2: archival chrome hearts I'm going to wear to the pub

632
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 2: or going to work in the latest mew MEU. My

633
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 2: husband is usually extremely sensible, so I'm trying to get

634
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 2: some outside perspective on whether I'm the a lawyer. Important

635
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 2: things to add, I'm literally only donating what doesn't fit me.

636
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 2: I kept a few sentimental things, but everything being donated

637
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,440
Speaker 2: just doesn't physically fit me. I bought these things with

638
00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 2: my own money. We pool finances and have a budget plan,

639
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,600
Speaker 2: but we put money aside into two separate fun funds

640
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 2: for each of us individually each month to spend on

641
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,920
Speaker 2: the things or experiences we enjoy. Individually, I maybe spend

642
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:28,719
Speaker 2: twenty five hundred to four thousand euros a year, depending

643
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 2: I also spend about fifty euros monthly on upkeep of

644
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 2: the clothes, things like dry cleaning and the seamstress. On

645
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 2: the rare occasion we're not struggling with money at all.

646
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 2: We both work and earn above living wage and move

647
00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:46,240
Speaker 2: to a cheaper town since I got a job offer here.

648
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 2: The amount iron is the same, but everything's lower in price.

649
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 2: My husband works from home. Technically we have more disposable

650
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:54,800
Speaker 2: income since moving.

651
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,040
Speaker 1: So my theory at this point is that if you're

652
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:03,920
Speaker 1: spending probably close to four hundred euros per item of

653
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 1: clothing that you're buying per year at this point, and

654
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 1: you're again you're giving away old stuff that's probably not

655
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,479
Speaker 1: as valuable as that from the sound of it. But

656
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: I bet your husband is upset at the way that

657
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 1: you buy clothes too. Wait, and it doesn't know how

658
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: to say it properly.

659
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,800
Speaker 2: To be I don't think gop spending four hundred the

660
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 2: twenty five hundred.

661
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 1: They said the range was twenty five to four and

662
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: if they buy it, but they buy about ten to

663
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: twelve pieces per year.

664
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's for all fun funds. That's not just

665
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 2: for clothes, to be clear.

666
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:30,800
Speaker 1: Oh really, yeah, that's said.

667
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 2: But we put money aside into two separate fun funds

668
00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 2: for each of us individually month each month, to spend

669
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 2: on the things or experiences we enjoy individually. So Opia

670
00:31:38,440 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 2: is spending twenty five hundred two four thousand on everything.

671
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 3: Like non essential a year.

672
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 2: So she's probably not even spending that much on clothes

673
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 2: if that is her entire fun fund.

674
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: It just feels like he's mad about something else. Usually

675
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 1: this is a pretext to be upset.

676
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 3: I agree.

677
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: My husband never usually ignores me like this. We argue

678
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 2: from time to time, take hour or so to calm

679
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,680
Speaker 2: down and then talk or apologize. This is unlike him,

680
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,160
Speaker 2: So I'm wondering if I did something wrong here that

681
00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:11,320
Speaker 2: I'm not seeing comments. Comment one says, not the ale

682
00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 2: at all. You're the one who should be avoiding interaction

683
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 2: with him until he starts acting right. Opie says, I'm

684
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 2: not usually the type to avoid interaction, and it's the

685
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,080
Speaker 2: same with him. We do get into arguments and disagreements

686
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:26,000
Speaker 2: from time to time, like anyone, but we usually just

687
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 2: take an hour to calm down and collect our thoughts

688
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:31,800
Speaker 2: before we talk about it. This is genuinely so out

689
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:35,120
Speaker 2: of character for him. Comment two says, since I purged

690
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 2: my closet, I actually buy less clothing now. I only

691
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 2: want things that go with the paired down aesthetic I've got,

692
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 2: and I really debate purchases.

693
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,760
Speaker 3: I don't know if this helps.

694
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,200
Speaker 2: You're not the ale, but this may have to do

695
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 2: with his feelings about waste. People have unexpected emotional triggers

696
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:55,080
Speaker 2: they may or may not even understand to talk it out.

697
00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:59,160
Speaker 2: Opie says, I don't even buy clothes that often, like

698
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 2: I have my bait six covered and some statement pieces

699
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: I adore. I also lived in a big ish city

700
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 2: most of my life and hung out with people considered

701
00:33:07,680 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 2: more alt so I never really bought into trends. I

702
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 2: just don't ever go through my clothes, so I've amassed

703
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:16,360
Speaker 2: quite a lot over the years. But yeah, I'm gonna

704
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 2: see if he's up for conversation tomorrow. Hopefully he's in

705
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 2: a better mood because I genuinely do not understand what

706
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 2: could even be bothering him here and comment three says

707
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,640
Speaker 2: not the ale. Something isn't adding up here and it's

708
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 2: your husband. Uh, dig deeper. I'm sure there'll be something

709
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 2: at the bottom of those old clothes. Ohp says I

710
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 2: packed the bag, so I don't think there's anything sinister.

711
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:40,040
Speaker 3: Loell.

712
00:33:40,720 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 2: Someone did mention the possibility of him being in debt,

713
00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:46,160
Speaker 2: So I'm going to try to talk to him tomorrow,

714
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 2: revisit our budget plans, see what's bothering him, et cetera.

715
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 2: This is so out of character for him that I'm

716
00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:55,479
Speaker 2: not ignoring the idea of some form of debt I

717
00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:58,200
Speaker 2: don't know about. I don't think that's the case, but

718
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 2: who knows. There is an update. Yeah, I think there's

719
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,040
Speaker 2: there's got to be something you're not You're not they

720
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 2: aware of.

721
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: Is a missing piece to this puzzle.

722
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 3: Yeah.

723
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 2: I managed to get him to sit down to talk

724
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 2: last night. I'm in a hotel right now, so it

725
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:14,919
Speaker 2: didn't go super well. I asked him if we could

726
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 2: review our budget since someone mentioned the possibility of a

727
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,680
Speaker 2: secret debt and others said he could be concerned about

728
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 2: how I spend my designated personal money. We went over

729
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:28,760
Speaker 2: the budget, bank statements, and next year's expenses. Nothing was wrong,

730
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 2: no weird payments, nothing alarming. Budget remained the same. I

731
00:34:34,040 --> 00:34:37,320
Speaker 2: asked him what was actually bothering him about me donating

732
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:41,360
Speaker 2: old clothes. He kept giving weird excuses that didn't make sense,

733
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 2: things like.

734
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:46,120
Speaker 4: You'll regret it, save it for our future children. You

735
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 4: really like these items, and every purchased some of them.

736
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 4: I feel like he's talking about like underwear. He's like,

737
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:54,160
Speaker 4: you love your underwear, and you always you keep getting

738
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 4: more of it.

739
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: Stop buying underwear, don't you know? Don't you know you

740
00:34:58,600 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: don't need them.

741
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 2: We got it to an argument, both yelling before he

742
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 2: finally said he wasn't attracted to me.

743
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,880
Speaker 1: Oh no, it's because you're throwing out all the clothes

744
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,160
Speaker 1: from when he thought you were hot. And he was like, well,

745
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:14,839
Speaker 1: maybe if those are still in the closet, she'll want

746
00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 1: to go back to that size. He's like, oh, so

747
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: she's giving up on losing weight or returning back to

748
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,920
Speaker 1: her wow days or whatever.

749
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:29,960
Speaker 2: This guy stinks, What but when she was eighteen? What

750
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 2: but she doesn't have the same body from when she

751
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,319
Speaker 2: was eighteen, and he's upset about that that I was

752
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 2: so much healthier and skinnier when we met, and I've

753
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 2: gained weight. I cried. He apologized, said he has ROCD

754
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,440
Speaker 2: and gets intrusive thoughts.

755
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,840
Speaker 3: He can't shake that.

756
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,799
Speaker 2: He actually does find me attractive, it's just an abtrusive thought.

757
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 2: I get that OCD and ROCD are real, but this

758
00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,560
Speaker 2: is the first time he's ever mentioned having it, so

759
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 2: I'm doubting if it's real. If he hit it for

760
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 2: so many years, why now, why not before our wedding.

761
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 2: He doesn't go to therapy, doesn't take medication, no signs

762
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 2: of anything. I feel super insecure in myself now. I

763
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,560
Speaker 2: know I've gained weight, but I'm happy about it. When

764
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:16,799
Speaker 2: we met, I was severely underweight. I had an unhealthy lifestyle.

765
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 2: My diet was energy drinks, whatever dinner my parents made,

766
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:23,359
Speaker 2: and substances on nights out.

767
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. Should you work in the restaurant industry, of course.

768
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,719
Speaker 3: I was extremely thin when we met.

769
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:31,840
Speaker 2: Now I eat balanced meals, I work out four to

770
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: five times a week.

771
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 3: I'm healthy.

772
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,360
Speaker 2: I've gained weight, my metabolism naturally slowed.

773
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,200
Speaker 3: I'm nearly thirty and I'm happy about that.

774
00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 2: I shouldn't feel insecure because a man made one passing comment.

775
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: I don't know. I guess you'll have to explore whether

776
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:50,360
Speaker 1: that a ROCD is real. You know. That's kind of

777
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,880
Speaker 1: the big kicker, because if you're gonna lie to me

778
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,600
Speaker 1: about that, well, what won't you lie to me about

779
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:58,440
Speaker 1: at that point? Yeah?

780
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,879
Speaker 2: I also just I don't know, even if it was real,

781
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:04,919
Speaker 2: I don't know how I would ever get that out

782
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 2: of my mind, that he doesn't think I'm attractive.

783
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 1: Well, most people, you know, as they get older, get older.

784
00:37:14,680 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, she's not gonna look like she was

785
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 2: when she was eighteen.

786
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: And if that's your idealized standard of yeah, your standard

787
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 1: of beauty froze at eighteen, Well you're going to be

788
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,279
Speaker 1: pretty disappointed for the rest of your life once you

789
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:28,880
Speaker 1: get older.

790
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, unless you're Leonardo DiCaprio.

791
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,360
Speaker 1: Ha ah, But it's still creepy.

792
00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 3: It sure is.

793
00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 2: I'm still sick, sleep derived and on cold medications, so

794
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,520
Speaker 2: I don't want to rush into divorce or make that

795
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 2: choice right now. If I stay, he asks to get

796
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 2: professional help. If he refuses, I'll divorce. I'll see where

797
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:51,560
Speaker 2: I'm at mentally, when I feel better. I'm just stressed

798
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 2: thinking about splitting everything, and especially who keeps the cat.

799
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 2: We adopted him together, love him equally, and that may

800
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,800
Speaker 2: be the hardest part. I am leaning more towards divorce.

801
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 2: We wanted children together, which would change my body even more,

802
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:07,840
Speaker 2: and I don't want to do that for him. Someone

803
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:11,920
Speaker 2: else I love someday, sure, but not him. I feel

804
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 2: content in not wanting kids with my husband. Now, your

805
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,200
Speaker 2: body would change a whole lot if you got pregnant.

806
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 3: So is he ready for that? Because I don't think so.

807
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:25,920
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, that's that's pretty That's that's problematic,

808
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 1: pretty problematic. You're in a problematic situation. And that's the

809
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 1: end of this story. We're gonna go on to the

810
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:34,879
Speaker 1: next one. Hey, y'all, it's John og Host here. We're

811
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:36,120
Speaker 1: gonna get back to the story. So, but here's a

812
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,080
Speaker 1: quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

813
00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 5: I refuse to share the inheritance with my siblings. Now

814
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,680
Speaker 5: they're taking legal actions.

815
00:38:43,719 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 1: Oh, we got lawyers on deck.

816
00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 5: My father passed away a few months ago. In his will,

817
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 5: he left his entire estate to me, explicitly disinheriting my

818
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 5: brother Mark forty male and sister Jenna thirty eight female.

819
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from a fluffy Spanish and

820
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

821
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 5: the r slash Okay storytime, separate it and I'm Angie,

822
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 5: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice.

823
00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 1: Goofly.

824
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers.

825
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,680
Speaker 5: We just know what we would do, So let us

826
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:13,800
Speaker 5: know what you would do in the comments, so op sets.

827
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 5: The thing is ten years ago, my father gave them

828
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,759
Speaker 5: one hundred and fifty thousand dollars each as an advance

829
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 5: in their inheritance to start businesses because they begged and begged.

830
00:39:25,680 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 1: So these people have already been given one hundred and

831
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:33,680
Speaker 1: fifty racks each. Dude, get out of here with that business.

832
00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 3: Freaking crazy.

833
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,840
Speaker 1: You wasted one hundred and fifty racks. That is not

834
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: on me, not on me.

835
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,680
Speaker 5: He had a lot of money back then, so it

836
00:39:40,719 --> 00:39:43,280
Speaker 5: wasn't much to him. Both of them blew it within

837
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 5: two years on vacations, cars, et cetera. And they had

838
00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 5: the nerve to ask him for more. Oh my god,

839
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:52,520
Speaker 5: when he refused.

840
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,360
Speaker 3: If they got cruel, they stopped visiting it.

841
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:58,400
Speaker 5: Wouldn't let him see his grandkids and bad mouthed him

842
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,320
Speaker 5: to the entire family. I mean, he was a miser

843
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 5: who was hoarding their money.

844
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 1: Their money.

845
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:07,719
Speaker 5: This man, ten years before he passed away, gave.

846
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 3: You an advance in his inheritance.

847
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 5: That's insane.

848
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: Literally, all you had to do was be just nice,

849
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 1: Just be nice, folks. Yeah, and you couldn't do it.

850
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 5: That's literally, like so insanely generous to be like, hey, like,

851
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 5: when I pass away, you're gonna get this money. I

852
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 5: know I'm not passing away hopefully anytime soon, but I'm

853
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 5: gonna give you some of that money now.

854
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:29,919
Speaker 1: Yeah.

855
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 5: So when I do pass away, don't come for mewing.

856
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:35,240
Speaker 1: One hundred figure action two years.

857
00:40:35,440 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 3: That's insane. I was the one who was there for him.

858
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,879
Speaker 5: I took him to doctor's appointments, helped him with finances

859
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 5: without ever touching a dime for myself because on like

860
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 5: my siblings, I have a great job that I worked

861
00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 5: hard for and was with him in hospice when he

862
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,719
Speaker 5: passed away. It was just me and him at the end.

863
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 5: His will is ironclad, written by his longtime lawyer, and

864
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 5: includes a clause stating they received their share during my lifetime.

865
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 5: Mark and Jenna are furious. They've been blowing on my

866
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 5: phone saying I poisoned him against them. They're bad mouthing

867
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,399
Speaker 5: me to the family, and I'm getting phone calls from

868
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:13,279
Speaker 5: relatives that I should help them.

869
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:14,400
Speaker 1: Now.

870
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,759
Speaker 5: They've hired a lawyer, and today I was served papers.

871
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:21,440
Speaker 5: They're threatening to contest the will, claiming I took advantage

872
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 5: of our father in his old age and used undue

873
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 5: influence to get him to cut them out.

874
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,360
Speaker 1: They ah, yes, the undue influence of being there for

875
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: him and helping him and taking care of him. Yeah,

876
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 1: undue influence.

877
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 3: Come on.

878
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 5: They offered to drop the lawsuit if I just give

879
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 5: them one hundred thousand dollars each. I told them to

880
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 5: get lost, and that I would never give them a

881
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 5: single cent of our father's money after how they treated him.

882
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 3: I am so angry I can barely speak. Am I

883
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 3: the hole for.

884
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,040
Speaker 5: Telling them i'd see them in court and refusing to

885
00:41:56,080 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 5: give them anything. I'm honestly worried that fighting this in

886
00:41:58,560 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 5: court will take more in the legal fees then just

887
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 5: paying them. But I'm so angry that I need an

888
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 5: outside opinion because I've lost perspective.

889
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,200
Speaker 3: And there are some comments, but what do you think, Dakota.

890
00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:10,520
Speaker 1: No, fight them, They don't have the money to fight you.

891
00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:12,880
Speaker 3: Run how with the legal things?

892
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,000
Speaker 1: Get them, get them, get them, get them. I bet

893
00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,480
Speaker 1: they'll drop it themselves because they won't win. Yeah.

894
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:20,240
Speaker 5: I wonder if you can like counter with getting money

895
00:42:20,360 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 5: from them because of like how much it's gonna cost

896
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,480
Speaker 5: you in legal fees and everything. Like, Yo, this is

897
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:29,680
Speaker 5: like a legal, a written will that's just out here

898
00:42:29,719 --> 00:42:32,720
Speaker 5: for you. I didn't do nothing, and now you're bringing

899
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 5: me here.

900
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, you said, great, hey me, so you go.

901
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 1: So when you lose the court fight, just letting you

902
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: know you'll have to end up paying all my legal

903
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:43,320
Speaker 1: fees because this is legal.

904
00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, is that a thing?

905
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I would tell that to them.

906
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:50,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, there you go, there you go, just throw some

907
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 5: words out. I'm sure they don't get scared.

908
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:53,240
Speaker 3: Or there are some comments.

909
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:56,120
Speaker 5: Kindly push says and not the a hole like the

910
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 5: will states your siblings received their inheritance while your father

911
00:42:59,520 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 5: was alive.

912
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:02,839
Speaker 3: You know, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Even

913
00:43:02,880 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 3: if you.

914
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 5: Gave them money, they would blow through it and ask

915
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 5: again for handouts.

916
00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:07,919
Speaker 3: As it's not fair.

917
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 5: You still have money and they don't.

918
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,680
Speaker 1: You know what, maybe you do this, Maybe you go

919
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:15,279
Speaker 1: to them and you go, hey, anything your kids need,

920
00:43:15,520 --> 00:43:18,440
Speaker 1: I got it, just you know there, you go tell

921
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:18,799
Speaker 1: me what.

922
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 3: It is, but I need to like be there to

923
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 3: buy it directly. You're not going to give you money.

924
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,319
Speaker 1: You're getting no cash from me.

925
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm going to send you diapers and send you

926
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 5: you know whatever, you.

927
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 1: Whatever you need for the kids. Yeah, I got it.

928
00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 3: I got it.

929
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 5: Block them and carry on with your life and knowing

930
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 5: that you were there for your dad. And there's another

931
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 5: comment irrelevant. Manatee says, not the ag whole. Don't give

932
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 5: them a cent. They're bluffing. They can try to sue,

933
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,319
Speaker 5: but they would need some proofs in order for the

934
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 5: trials to take place. As they don't have anything, the

935
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 5: trial probably won't even happen. Op says, I thought the

936
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 5: same thing until I got served papers and it all

937
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 5: became real.

938
00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:59,480
Speaker 3: I'm going to call a lawyer once.

939
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 5: I stopped few. I just hate the idea of losing

940
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:02,960
Speaker 5: any money at.

941
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 3: All over this.

942
00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:05,879
Speaker 5: The worst is I feel like I'm the only one

943
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 5: in this family who's grieving, and I'm just so drained

944
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 5: over all this it's been a very long few months. Also,

945
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 5: I really like my nieces and nephews. The idea of

946
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,640
Speaker 5: not seeing them again is awful and okay, Recognition says,

947
00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:19,680
Speaker 5: contact with the lawyer who helps your father.

948
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 3: With his will.

949
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:22,920
Speaker 5: Oh, he says, thank you. Why didn't I think of this?

950
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 5: It's been such a long few months. I have an

951
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,279
Speaker 5: appointment with an attorney tomorrow, but i'll call him now.

952
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 5: Lazy instruction says, definitely call your dad's old lawyer. He

953
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 5: may have drafted some sort of acknowledgment that the prior

954
00:44:34,440 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 5: payouts to your siblings were made as their early inheritance distribution.

955
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,680
Speaker 3: If they signed anything like that, they are gone in

956
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 3: the water. If their lawyer.

957
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:44,840
Speaker 5: Sees that, they will drop your siblings as clients in

958
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:47,799
Speaker 5: a heartbeat. The overall judgment, of course, is not the

959
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 5: a home and there is an update from two days later.

960
00:44:50,920 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 5: Oh boy, oh boy, what can happen in just two days?

961
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: M let's find out?

962
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 3: Let's find out?

963
00:44:58,800 --> 00:44:59,320
Speaker 1: Update.

964
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,800
Speaker 5: I just wanted to make a quake update. Thanks everyone

965
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 5: who suggested contacting the lawyer who drew up the will.

966
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,880
Speaker 5: I sent him all the papers and texts that I received,

967
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 5: and it turns out that sending people texts in California

968
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,359
Speaker 5: that say things like it won't stop until you give

969
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:17,320
Speaker 5: us the money is considered criminal extortion by letter, which

970
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:21,640
Speaker 5: is a pillow. Oh wait, would you look at that?

971
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 1: You played yourselves? Oh man, congrat Wow, looks like a felony.

972
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:28,800
Speaker 1: Happened in two days.

973
00:45:29,160 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

974
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 5: He contacted their lawyer, and it turns out they had

975
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 5: lied to him about a lot of things, and he

976
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:39,480
Speaker 5: was not enthused about the extortion. Everything fell apart pretty fast,

977
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:43,399
Speaker 5: and it didn't cost me anything. I'll probably never see

978
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 5: my nieces and nephews again, at least not until they're

979
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 5: much older. And the other family members are angry at

980
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 5: me because they feel the extortion was actually my fault

981
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:53,799
Speaker 5: for quote giving them no other options.

982
00:45:54,320 --> 00:45:55,600
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, that's insane.

983
00:45:56,040 --> 00:45:58,440
Speaker 1: That's Insaneah, that's crazy when you had the option of

984
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 1: not blowing all your money on cars and vacation.

985
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 5: Like, it's not even like they didn't get anything at

986
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 5: all by just being bad kids to this dad.

987
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 3: They got so much money.

988
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:13,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were given what you wanted, yes, and you squandered.

989
00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 3: It ten years ago.

990
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:17,280
Speaker 1: And then he didn't want to give you anywhere money

991
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 1: and you flipped on him and became cruel, little nasty, Yes,

992
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 1: little gremlins, Yes exactly.

993
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:26,880
Speaker 5: I decided I'm going to just move away and find

994
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 5: peace elsewhere after I'm done dealing with the estate. I

995
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 5: can't believe things got so ugly over money, but I'm out.

996
00:46:34,280 --> 00:46:36,400
Speaker 5: Some people commented in my original post that they had

997
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:38,400
Speaker 5: had similar experiences.

998
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,359
Speaker 3: And I really feel for all of you.

999
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 5: It's a really unfair position to be put in, and

1000
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 5: there's a helpless element to it that just sucks. Learned

1001
00:46:46,960 --> 00:46:49,920
Speaker 5: a valuable lesson about the importance of keeping receipts, and

1002
00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:52,520
Speaker 5: there are some quick comments outcasts.

1003
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 3: Spy says, thanks for the update.

1004
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 5: People get really unhinged when there's a passing in the

1005
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 5: family and money is involved. Glad you'll be able to

1006
00:46:59,160 --> 00:46:59,800
Speaker 5: get some space.

1007
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:01,200
Speaker 3: I'm sorry for your loss.

1008
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:03,880
Speaker 5: Opie says, I'm realizing their goal is just to have

1009
00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:05,879
Speaker 5: everyone be as miserable as they are.

1010
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:07,439
Speaker 3: It's not really about the money.

1011
00:47:07,440 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 5: It's that I might be happy and they'll still be

1012
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 5: miserable and that's unacceptable for them.

1013
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 1: That's so true. Yeah, there's just people who are like that.

1014
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,799
Speaker 5: Yeah, even if they had the money, I don't think

1015
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,839
Speaker 5: anything would have changed. I hope the kids rebell and

1016
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 5: turn into decent human beings as they grow up. If

1017
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 5: they do, I hope to hear from them someday. Aggravating

1018
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:33,359
Speaker 5: Socks says, consider writing letters for your nibblings, giving them

1019
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 5: a short summary of the truth of what happened, since

1020
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:39,239
Speaker 5: you know their parents are going to absolutely trash you

1021
00:47:39,280 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 5: to them and let them know that you'll always love

1022
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:44,000
Speaker 5: them and be there for them. Then talk with your

1023
00:47:44,080 --> 00:47:46,320
Speaker 5: lawyer if it's possible to have those letters served to

1024
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 5: them on their eighteenth birthdays.

1025
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 3: And there you go.

1026
00:47:49,560 --> 00:47:51,560
Speaker 5: That's the end of that story, end of the comments.

1027
00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:56,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think those are great ideas. Yeah, just say.

1028
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:57,920
Speaker 5: Hey, I'm still there for you, and your parents were

1029
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:00,440
Speaker 5: probably like, Oogi bugis a bad man.

1030
00:48:00,600 --> 00:48:02,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I think if you reach out and

1031
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:04,520
Speaker 1: be like, ah, you know, I can help you all

1032
00:48:04,520 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 1: with your kids, Yeah, then exactly, that's within reason.

1033
00:48:08,200 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 5: I think that's a great way to deal with things. Yeah,

1034
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 5: but good for you. You didn't even have to go

1035
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:17,840
Speaker 5: to court because you called them out immediately.

1036
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 1: Because they committed felony. Jennies.

1037
00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,879
Speaker 3: Wow, and that's the end of this story. We're going

1038
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:23,719
Speaker 3: on to the next one.

1039
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:28,320
Speaker 1: I volunteered to pay for one of my cousin's children.

1040
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 1: Now his siblings are jealous.

1041
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:31,919
Speaker 3: Now you have to pay for all of them.

1042
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:35,600
Speaker 1: Oh, them's the rules. Due to hard work, but also

1043
00:48:35,719 --> 00:48:38,400
Speaker 1: a lot of luck, my husband and I are fairly

1044
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,759
Speaker 1: well off, while many of my family members are struggling financially.

1045
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 1: They're not going hungry, just having to cut corners. I

1046
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 1: am an only child, but have a very large extended family,

1047
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: and I grew up close to many of my cousins.

1048
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from us. Your stock sell

1049
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: fifteen fifty six, and if you want to submit your

1050
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 1: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime suburn it.

1051
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, and we are here to give

1052
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 1: you good advice.

1053
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:01,120
Speaker 3: Goofully.

1054
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 1: We don't have all the answers. We just know what

1055
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:06,279
Speaker 1: we'd do, So tell us what you would do in

1056
00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 1: the comments and op says one cousin's son has been

1057
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:13,360
Speaker 1: swimming since he was four and swimming is basically his life.

1058
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 1: He is fifteen and swims for his high school, but

1059
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 1: has also been swimming with a club for many years.

1060
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 1: His parents have scrimped to make this possible. There is

1061
00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:23,160
Speaker 1: a lot of travel involved, and now apparently even his

1062
00:49:23,280 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: suits technical suits I think they're called, are hundreds of

1063
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,800
Speaker 1: dollars and he needs these for the championship meets. Basically,

1064
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 1: it's expensive and they can no longer afford it. His

1065
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:34,600
Speaker 1: coach is eager to waive the club fees to keep

1066
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:36,759
Speaker 1: him in swim, but he can't cover all of the

1067
00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:40,279
Speaker 1: related costs. I've offered to pay for all of Deaton's

1068
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:44,040
Speaker 1: swim expenses. Wow. He is good and he is dedicated.

1069
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: He practices around sixteen hours a week, getting up at

1070
00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:49,600
Speaker 1: five am many mornings. He has an excellent chance of

1071
00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,240
Speaker 1: getting a scholarship to a D one school. He's already

1072
00:49:52,280 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 1: getting attention from coaches. The problem is he has three

1073
00:49:55,360 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 1: siblings who also participate in activities, and my cousin is

1074
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:01,560
Speaker 1: stopping those due to find antil concerns as well. I

1075
00:50:01,640 --> 00:50:04,760
Speaker 1: also have several other cousins with whom I'm even closer,

1076
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:08,680
Speaker 1: who are in similar positions. Deaton's parents have graciously accepted

1077
00:50:08,680 --> 00:50:10,799
Speaker 1: my offer, but my aunt said that if I'm going

1078
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:12,879
Speaker 1: to pay for Daton to keep his sport, I need

1079
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 1: to pay for his sisters to keep dance, cheerleading and

1080
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,400
Speaker 1: art as well. Another cousin also says that I shouldn't

1081
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:20,879
Speaker 1: pay for one of my cousin's child's activities without paying

1082
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:24,680
Speaker 1: for hers too. I have about thirty first cousins. I

1083
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:27,560
Speaker 1: can't pay for everyone. I could possibly be the A

1084
00:50:27,640 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: hole because I guess it isn't fair, and I know

1085
00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:32,520
Speaker 1: these other children enjoy their sports and activities too, and

1086
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,960
Speaker 1: it could look like favoritism. But I think I'm probably

1087
00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,879
Speaker 1: not the a hole because so far the others aren't

1088
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:40,040
Speaker 1: anywhere near as talented or as serious about their extracurriculars

1089
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:42,799
Speaker 1: as Deaton is, and it will almost definitely land him

1090
00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 1: a college scholarship? Am I the A hole? And there

1091
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 1: are comments I would like to say that this should

1092
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:52,480
Speaker 1: have been known upfront. If you've got thirty cousins and

1093
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 1: Deaton's got other siblings and you were going to do

1094
00:50:55,640 --> 00:51:01,319
Speaker 1: this arrangement, it needed to be hush hush high. Yeah.

1095
00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 1: It can't be something you're talking to all the other

1096
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,280
Speaker 1: cousins and the ants. It needs to be like a, hey,

1097
00:51:05,480 --> 00:51:07,759
Speaker 1: if we're gonna do this, it needs to be calculated

1098
00:51:08,320 --> 00:51:10,439
Speaker 1: because that's what's gonna happen. And it's like, yeah, you're

1099
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 1: rewarding his dedication and his talent and his you know, perseverance.

1100
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:15,399
Speaker 1: He's good at it.

1101
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, now you need to reward his silence.

1102
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:23,440
Speaker 1: And it describes you goofed up by not making that

1103
00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 1: low key yeah.

1104
00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 5: You know, remind me like, did was he in danger

1105
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 5: of not playing this sport at all?

1106
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 1: Yeah? Because they couldn't afford the travel. And then I.

1107
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 3: Think you're too tough.

1108
00:51:34,360 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 5: Fine, because if it was like, oh, you're just doing it,

1109
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,040
Speaker 5: you're just like, hey, let me just take over all

1110
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 5: the payments really quick. I know you're like still gonna

1111
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 5: pay parents. But because I like him, I want to

1112
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 5: spend my money on It's like no, like if everyone

1113
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:48,880
Speaker 5: else can afford to do their.

1114
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 1: No, they can't. Everyone else is getting there. All of

1115
00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 1: his siblings are getting their activities canceled as well. Well

1116
00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:58,320
Speaker 1: it's rough, it's rough, but that's the job of those

1117
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:02,560
Speaker 1: parents to tell their kids, Okay, we can't support all

1118
00:52:02,560 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 1: of the activities. Dalton swim could get him a scholarship

1119
00:52:05,960 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 1: and get him into a school that we wouldn't be

1120
00:52:07,640 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 1: able to afford otherwise. So we're going to invest in

1121
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:15,279
Speaker 1: Deton's swim And we love you all. I mean, it's

1122
00:52:15,280 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 1: parenting it's hard, but it's you. It's not on you.

1123
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:22,239
Speaker 1: Now there are comments not the A hole. But why

1124
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: did anyone outside of Deeton's parents need to know that

1125
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,680
Speaker 1: you were doing this? Hope? He says, Ugh, because my

1126
00:52:27,760 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 1: family has a collective big mouth. Deeton's sisters complained to

1127
00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 1: their grandma, who then reached out to me and apparently

1128
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 1: others as well. And I'm sure the whole family knows

1129
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 1: by now. I come from a very small town. A

1130
00:52:39,040 --> 00:52:41,919
Speaker 1: reply says Deeton's parents should have kept their mouths shut

1131
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:45,399
Speaker 1: as well. Comment too, says you're not paying out for favoritism.

1132
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,960
Speaker 1: You are investing in his future. Tell anyone who complains

1133
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 1: that they are welcome to pay for X or y

1134
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:52,760
Speaker 1: to do whatever they want. Your investment in your nephew

1135
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:54,640
Speaker 1: is probably only going to be for three years. You

1136
00:52:54,640 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 1: can support another child with potential then, not the A

1137
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 1: whole hope, he says. This is the way I see it.

1138
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,280
Speaker 1: This is going to help him succeed in the future.

1139
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:04,719
Speaker 1: Not many of my cousins or their children have been

1140
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:08,160
Speaker 1: able to attend college, and this is his chance. And

1141
00:53:08,200 --> 00:53:10,400
Speaker 1: there is an update, and yeah, that should have been

1142
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:12,840
Speaker 1: the whole vibe the whole time. Update. I had to

1143
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:14,919
Speaker 1: talk with Deeton's parents over the weekend and we worked

1144
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:17,840
Speaker 1: things out. It turns out that they could easily afford

1145
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 1: their daughter's activities without Deeton's expenses. Hu, It's just that

1146
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 1: he recently became qualified to swim in national meats and

1147
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:27,400
Speaker 1: the cost was going to become prohibitively expensive. In the past,

1148
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 1: they've been able to drive to all his meets, even

1149
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:31,759
Speaker 1: if sometimes they had to pay for a hotel, but

1150
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,000
Speaker 1: now it's going to get much more expensive and they

1151
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 1: just can't afford it, and they thought it would be

1152
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 1: more fair to just cancel activities for all their children.

1153
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 1: So I'm going to cover all of the swimming expenses

1154
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,439
Speaker 1: and the girls can keep their dancing, cheerleading, and art.

1155
00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 1: According to the parents, their oldest daughter is a bit

1156
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,799
Speaker 1: nosy and look through their budget ledger and put it

1157
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,319
Speaker 1: together how much was being spent on Deaton compared to

1158
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:56,200
Speaker 1: her and her sisters. She told her sisters, and now

1159
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 1: they all feel they should get more better clothes, phones,

1160
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 1: et cetera. And the youngest wants an expensive iPad for

1161
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:05,200
Speaker 1: her art. Basically, they think their parents should be spending

1162
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 1: as much on each of them as they spend on

1163
00:54:06,800 --> 00:54:09,319
Speaker 1: their brother. I'm not sure how I feel about that,

1164
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 1: but regardless, things can be a lot more fair as

1165
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,280
Speaker 1: to how their parents allocate their money for their children

1166
00:54:14,320 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 1: now that Deaton's swimming isn't eating up a large chunk

1167
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 1: of it. To be honest, the girls sound just a

1168
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 1: bit greedy to me, which I agree personally, but it

1169
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 1: may just be that their feelings are hurt that their

1170
00:54:24,600 --> 00:54:27,320
Speaker 1: brother was getting more, and they are all just children

1171
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:30,960
Speaker 1: after all. It turns out most of our large extended

1172
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:33,879
Speaker 1: family that knows about this and has any opinion at all,

1173
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 1: is in favor of Deaton continuing with swimming at all costs,

1174
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:39,800
Speaker 1: and some even offered to pitch in what they could

1175
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 1: to make it happen. That isn't necessary, and these people

1176
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:45,799
Speaker 1: don't have any more than Deaton's parents, so it's not

1177
00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 1: up to them to make it up to Deaton's sisters

1178
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 1: that more is being spent on him. It's really just

1179
00:54:51,760 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 1: the grandmother and one of her daughters, the kid's aunt,

1180
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,719
Speaker 1: who are the troublemakers. The grandmother thinks all the kids

1181
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:59,960
Speaker 1: should be treated the same by their parents, and if

1182
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: anyone other than their parents is going to help any

1183
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:05,120
Speaker 1: one of them. They should all get equal treatment. Well, hey, grandma,

1184
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,360
Speaker 1: so you can sign up. Where's the money, Grandma?

1185
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:11,000
Speaker 3: Pay you up? Mama?

1186
00:55:11,480 --> 00:55:13,360
Speaker 1: How about he does she get in the business Ledger?

1187
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:18,080
Speaker 1: Good question. She's like, mom, actually, you're not. You are

1188
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 1: not spending enough money on us.

1189
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1190
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's just wild.

1191
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:27,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, that is that is like another level.

1192
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:30,839
Speaker 1: Now that all it's you know, clear, like okay, all

1193
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:34,919
Speaker 1: the other activities can continue. Yeah, there shouldn't know, there's

1194
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:38,200
Speaker 1: no problem there, and this is now up to them, Yeah,

1195
00:55:38,280 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 1: to parent their children.

1196
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly. I feel like it's such a sibling thing

1197
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:44,800
Speaker 5: to be like, well they got they got six Presidents.

1198
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:47,239
Speaker 5: I only got five, like you know, and it's like, well,

1199
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 5: aren't you happy with what you got? Like maybe we

1200
00:55:49,320 --> 00:55:52,759
Speaker 5: can teach them to, you know, be happy for each

1201
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,200
Speaker 5: other for getting something extra and being grateful for what

1202
00:55:55,239 --> 00:55:57,839
Speaker 5: they have. Like how much different is their life going

1203
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,600
Speaker 5: to be if they, you know, get more presents.

1204
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:02,759
Speaker 1: You just set them all up and you go, you

1205
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:06,920
Speaker 1: swim for it. If you can beat Eaton in a race, yeah,

1206
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 1: I'll give you the iPad.

1207
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 3: That's rat. That's rat.

1208
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:13,439
Speaker 1: Let's finish this. The ant has a daughter who has

1209
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 1: just gotten into pageants, and I think this is a

1210
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 1: lot of where this is coming from. They have just

1211
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 1: started to realize how expensive pageants are, and both the

1212
00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 1: grandmother and the ant think that if I'm going to

1213
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:25,880
Speaker 1: pay for Daton swimming, I should also pay for Kaylan's

1214
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:30,360
Speaker 1: pageant expenses, which is nowhere near the same thing. And

1215
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:33,480
Speaker 1: if anything, I hate the pageants, yeah, because they just

1216
00:56:33,800 --> 00:56:35,280
Speaker 1: give people mental illness.

1217
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:36,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1218
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 5: Also it's like not not your choice, like it's Opie

1219
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,080
Speaker 5: was offering this. No one like reached out to Opie

1220
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 5: and was like, hey, since you are like buco bucks rich, like,

1221
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:48,600
Speaker 5: can we.

1222
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:49,640
Speaker 1: Have some Yeah?

1223
00:56:49,760 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 5: No. It was like, oh my gosh, I love how

1224
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:55,200
Speaker 5: into this he's he is, and I believe in him

1225
00:56:55,360 --> 00:56:56,799
Speaker 5: and I want to fund.

1226
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, not not how it Workston needs to swim. He's

1227
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:01,120
Speaker 1: a fish man.

1228
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:03,280
Speaker 3: He's a fish man. Get him into water.

1229
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 1: Op He continues. I don't see the same value in

1230
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:08,759
Speaker 1: buying five hundred dollars fancy dresses for a four year

1231
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:11,480
Speaker 1: old as I do in supporting a future college athlete.

1232
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 1: So I'm not gonna do that, and they're angry with me.

1233
00:57:15,200 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 1: I come from a huge family, and not everyone is

1234
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:20,280
Speaker 1: going to agree with everyone. Else all the time. In fact,

1235
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 1: there is never a time when we're on agreement over anything.

1236
00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 1: But the important thing is that Dalton gets to keep

1237
00:57:25,720 --> 00:57:28,320
Speaker 1: swimming and his sisters get to keep their activities as well.

1238
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:31,320
Speaker 1: I imagine this will all blow over eventually, and that's the

1239
00:57:31,360 --> 00:57:32,720
Speaker 1: end of that story. And I believe you're right.

1240
00:57:32,840 --> 00:57:33,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it will.

1241
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: It's gonna blow over like a like a cool breeze.

1242
00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 5: And Deton's just been like, you're super cool.

1243
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:43,360
Speaker 1: And Deaton's gonna swim up yeah, like a lightning bolt. Yeah,

1244
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 1: say and say thank.

1245
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 5: You, and then he's gonna disappear into the water.

1246
00:57:47,640 --> 00:57:49,640
Speaker 1: We're hoping that he can learn how to swim through land.

1247
00:57:50,360 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 3: He'll figure it out. He might figure it out if anyone,

1248
00:57:53,080 --> 00:57:53,880
Speaker 3: if Jesus.

1249
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,280
Speaker 1: Walked on water, will swim through land.

1250
00:57:57,560 --> 00:57:59,880
Speaker 5: And that four year old pageant girl is gonna someday

1251
00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:00,800
Speaker 5: thank you for.

1252
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 3: Not putting her through that.

1253
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 1: I would think so. I yeah, but that is the

1254
00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:05,800
Speaker 1: end of that story.

1255
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 3: Hey, it's Sam.

1256
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:08,680
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories. But here's three

1257
00:58:08,720 --> 00:58:10,320
Speaker 1: minutes of bads from our sponsors.

1258
00:58:10,640 --> 00:58:14,040
Speaker 5: My cousin wanted proof that we share the same father.

1259
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 1: But I refuse, no I'm not feeling it.

1260
00:58:17,280 --> 00:58:19,680
Speaker 5: Based on the title, you can tell that my family

1261
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 5: situation is pretty crazy. I twenty one female and technically

1262
00:58:23,560 --> 00:58:29,240
Speaker 5: revenge affair a baby oho.

1263
00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:29,880
Speaker 1: Oho oh oh a revenge affair baby. I don't think

1264
00:58:29,880 --> 00:58:30,480
Speaker 1: we've had that one.

1265
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 3: I don't think so.

1266
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,439
Speaker 5: I feel like we've only had it to their mult

1267
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:35,600
Speaker 5: or like when they're finding it out.

1268
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 1: Truly, are the batman the child of vengeance?

1269
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:42,400
Speaker 5: My dad forty seven male, was married to my aunt

1270
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:44,800
Speaker 5: forty five female, who was cheating on hey with my

1271
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:48,919
Speaker 5: mom's forty two female, then husband James, forty two male,

1272
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,680
Speaker 5: whoa close range of family. By the way, this comes

1273
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:55,440
Speaker 5: from working weight eighty fourteen. And if you want to

1274
00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:58,640
Speaker 5: submit your own stories, go to the r slash Okay Stradan,

1275
00:58:59,080 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 5: I broad it and I'm Angie and I'm Dakota, and

1276
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:04,120
Speaker 5: we're here to give good advice.

1277
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:06,200
Speaker 3: Goofly. But we don't have all the answers. We just

1278
00:59:06,240 --> 00:59:07,600
Speaker 3: know what we would do in the situation.

1279
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 5: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

1280
00:59:10,000 --> 00:59:12,840
Speaker 1: So, and if I was in this situation, I'd become

1281
00:59:12,880 --> 00:59:15,920
Speaker 1: a vigilante because I'm a vengeance baby.

1282
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 3: Ah, there you go.

1283
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:18,040
Speaker 1: I need to see.

1284
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 5: Justice as Opie says, I'm not sure about all the details.

1285
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 5: I honestly don't really care to ask because yunk. But

1286
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:29,040
Speaker 5: during their mutual divorces, my dad and my mom had

1287
00:59:29,080 --> 00:59:33,480
Speaker 5: a fling which produced me. There was a DNA test,

1288
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:36,080
Speaker 5: and after I was proven to be my dad's he

1289
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:39,280
Speaker 5: happily claimed me and signed the birth certificate. He didn't

1290
00:59:39,320 --> 00:59:43,800
Speaker 5: sign my cousin's Amanda twenty one female birth certificate and

1291
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 5: went back to his other country. My dad has dual

1292
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 5: citizenship to avoid child support for her yikes. Since she

1293
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 5: was born while my aunt was still his legally wedded wife,

1294
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 5: he was presumed to be the father, and James took off.

1295
00:59:58,160 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 3: Because of all of the.

1296
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 5: Drama, my mom and I were estranged from my aunt

1297
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 5: and Amanda. My aunt and Amanda thought for years that

1298
01:00:05,120 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 5: my dad had abandoned me too, when in reality, I

1299
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 5: took regular trips to see my dad in his mother's country,

1300
01:00:11,280 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 5: met most of his relatives, and can even speak the

1301
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:16,880
Speaker 5: language at a high intermediate level. My mom made it

1302
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 5: clear that I was free to seek out a relationship

1303
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:21,640
Speaker 5: with Amanda once I was old enough to drive, but

1304
01:00:21,760 --> 01:00:25,680
Speaker 5: warned me that there could be drama. I tried reaching

1305
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:27,920
Speaker 5: out at seventeen, but she acted like she was so

1306
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:30,920
Speaker 5: much better because she grew up in a two parent household.

1307
01:00:31,200 --> 01:00:33,880
Speaker 5: My aunt remarried while it was just me and my mom,

1308
01:00:34,080 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 5: and I washed my hands of it. We never followed

1309
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 5: each other on social media, and I never told my

1310
01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:42,120
Speaker 5: mom's side of the family about the other social media platforms,

1311
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:44,080
Speaker 5: so I was able to keep my relationship with my

1312
01:00:44,160 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 5: father privates until I guess Amanda or someone Amanda knew

1313
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:50,880
Speaker 5: saw a picture of me with one of my paternal

1314
01:00:50,960 --> 01:00:54,280
Speaker 5: cousins online and it set everything in motion.

1315
01:00:55,400 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 1: I hate this.

1316
01:00:57,880 --> 01:01:00,800
Speaker 3: So much, emotion too much, if you ask me.

1317
01:01:00,960 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 1: Too much motion. Why can't people just let people be?

1318
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,360
Speaker 3: Just let them be. This isn't your issue.

1319
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:11,960
Speaker 5: You're just the products of the issues, that's all. I

1320
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:14,680
Speaker 5: didn't want to put in or maintain the effort to lie,

1321
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:17,000
Speaker 5: so I made a long text message and sent it

1322
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:19,440
Speaker 5: to a group chat with several members of my mom's family.

1323
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 5: Since my mom and aunt's respective marriages were a taboo topic,

1324
01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:26,600
Speaker 5: there was a firm don't talk about it mindset. A

1325
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 5: lot of people just assumed my mom was doing it

1326
01:01:28,800 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 5: all on her own, when really my dad was sending

1327
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:33,800
Speaker 5: his child sport and having a relationship with me. Amanda

1328
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:36,200
Speaker 5: and my aunt are now demanding that I give them

1329
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 5: my dad's contact info, his address in the country that

1330
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:42,240
Speaker 5: he's in, and do a DNA test to prove that

1331
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:46,000
Speaker 5: we're siblings and then take it to my dad. But

1332
01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:49,920
Speaker 5: here's the thing. Amanda was formally adopted by her stepdad

1333
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:52,520
Speaker 5: when she was seventeen. I don't like the idea of

1334
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 5: giving my genetic information to a private company unless absolutely needed.

1335
01:01:56,680 --> 01:01:59,680
Speaker 5: There's nothing stopping her from doing something like twenty three

1336
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:03,040
Speaker 5: meters to match with my paternal side. My dad's side

1337
01:02:03,040 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 5: of the family knows about Amanda, and they don't seem

1338
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:11,320
Speaker 5: interested in knowing her day get her yip shit her.

1339
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 5: Amanda is still being pretty awful to me, so I

1340
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 5: don't feel like doing anything to help her. So, knowing

1341
01:02:18,760 --> 01:02:21,760
Speaker 5: all this, Amma the a hole and we have some comments,

1342
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 5: but what do you think together?

1343
01:02:23,440 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 1: I feel like the vibe is Amanda would want the

1344
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:28,560
Speaker 1: paternity just so that she could like claim like rights

1345
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:32,000
Speaker 1: to like assets once people are passing away, or.

1346
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:35,400
Speaker 5: She can get dual citizenship somehow, if that's even available.

1347
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:37,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not. Because she's like I want to deepen

1348
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 1: my bonds with my biological family. It's like she's doing something.

1349
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:43,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like.

1350
01:02:43,680 --> 01:02:45,480
Speaker 5: If you really want to make those bond, it's like,

1351
01:02:45,480 --> 01:02:48,440
Speaker 5: well those people still exist, like you still can. I

1352
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:50,520
Speaker 5: know they don't have his contact information, but like you

1353
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:53,960
Speaker 5: don't need to like be legally related or biologically related

1354
01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:56,960
Speaker 5: to someone to have a relationship with them, you know,

1355
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,960
Speaker 5: like you could still try to have that relationship if

1356
01:03:01,000 --> 01:03:01,880
Speaker 5: that's really what she want.

1357
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:02,920
Speaker 3: But clearly we.

1358
01:03:02,880 --> 01:03:04,960
Speaker 5: Do have some comments coming over. One says she can

1359
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:09,840
Speaker 5: go out herself. You don't know her crap. Yeah, coming

1360
01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:13,880
Speaker 5: number two says, whatever you do, love, don't spit on her. One,

1361
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:16,320
Speaker 5: she's not worth it. Two she might test it, not

1362
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 5: the a whole nice comment. Three says, couldn't Amanda satisfy

1363
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:23,240
Speaker 5: her own curiosity just by doing her own ancestry test

1364
01:03:23,280 --> 01:03:25,800
Speaker 5: to find out if a large portion of her ethnicity

1365
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:29,480
Speaker 5: matches Opie's father's country origin. Yeah, I would think that

1366
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:31,080
Speaker 5: would be the simplest place to.

1367
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:32,120
Speaker 1: Start, exactly.

1368
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:34,920
Speaker 5: Opie responds, that's what I think she should do. I

1369
01:03:34,960 --> 01:03:36,960
Speaker 5: know at least one cousin on my dad's side, his

1370
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 5: maternal first cousin, who took the ancestry test thing so

1371
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:44,040
Speaker 5: Amanda could do that. Comment Umber four says, info, you

1372
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:47,760
Speaker 5: two are the same age, is Amanda older than you?

1373
01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:49,400
Speaker 3: And how many months.

1374
01:03:49,160 --> 01:03:51,800
Speaker 5: Or weeks are between you two? Is it like she

1375
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 5: was born in January you were born in December? Or

1376
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:57,240
Speaker 5: is it more like May and June? So aunt was

1377
01:03:57,320 --> 01:04:01,320
Speaker 5: cheating during her marriage to dad with a fair partner James,

1378
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 5: who was her brother in law and married.

1379
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:05,840
Speaker 3: To her sister, who is your mom.

1380
01:04:07,200 --> 01:04:09,320
Speaker 5: This is a comment trying to make sense of things,

1381
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:11,000
Speaker 5: and I think that comment confused me.

1382
01:04:11,120 --> 01:04:12,880
Speaker 1: This is a complicated family tree.

1383
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:16,760
Speaker 5: This sure is both your mom and aunt divorced, and

1384
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:20,320
Speaker 5: your mom slept with your dad her ex brother in

1385
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 5: law after the divorce. Because this sounds to me that

1386
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:27,920
Speaker 5: you're not siblings but cousins and that James is her

1387
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 5: actual father, especially considering you being the same age you

1388
01:04:31,680 --> 01:04:35,120
Speaker 5: were conceived during the divorce proceedings. And isn't it that

1389
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:37,680
Speaker 5: you have to separate for like a year before you

1390
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:41,160
Speaker 5: can actually divorce in most countries? And Opie says, Amanda

1391
01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:43,240
Speaker 5: and I are four months apart in age, with her

1392
01:04:43,320 --> 01:04:45,919
Speaker 5: being older. My parents slept together while they were still

1393
01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:47,040
Speaker 5: legally married.

1394
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:47,520
Speaker 3: To other people.

1395
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:50,520
Speaker 5: A fair baby, and we do have an update of

1396
01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:54,000
Speaker 5: a revenge a fair baby revenge affair.

1397
01:04:54,320 --> 01:04:57,480
Speaker 1: Oh boy, Honestly, I think the situation here is she

1398
01:04:57,560 --> 01:04:59,320
Speaker 1: can totally do all this on her own and doesn't

1399
01:04:59,360 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 1: need anything from me. Yeah, why should she need it?

1400
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:03,920
Speaker 5: Was like, what is she gonna what are you gonna do?

1401
01:05:03,960 --> 01:05:06,800
Speaker 5: Get legal blood sample from your dad? Like that's still

1402
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:10,080
Speaker 5: you can't do that, that's not in your ability.

1403
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:11,800
Speaker 3: But there is an update.

1404
01:05:12,080 --> 01:05:16,480
Speaker 5: Fifteen days later, I told my cousin Amanda that she

1405
01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:19,400
Speaker 5: should do the ancestry thing to see who she matches with,

1406
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 5: that I would pass alonger and poach my dad. I said,

1407
01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:25,360
Speaker 5: I was wiping my hands clean of the situation. After that,

1408
01:05:25,520 --> 01:05:28,960
Speaker 5: before blocking her, I did pass along her contact and

1409
01:05:29,000 --> 01:05:31,120
Speaker 5: poach my dad and told him that Amanda and his

1410
01:05:31,240 --> 01:05:34,640
Speaker 5: ex wife, my aunt, had their intentions. I also informed

1411
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:37,760
Speaker 5: him that Amanda was formally adopted after the courts declared

1412
01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:40,880
Speaker 5: that my dad abandoned her. As of right now, my

1413
01:05:41,000 --> 01:05:43,440
Speaker 5: dad has no intentions of ever going back to the

1414
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:46,480
Speaker 5: US for any reason. However, he did chuck with his

1415
01:05:46,560 --> 01:05:49,120
Speaker 5: lawyers and he basically told me that he had agreed

1416
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,720
Speaker 5: to doing a DNA test on the condition that my

1417
01:05:51,840 --> 01:05:55,600
Speaker 5: aunt and Amanda sign a legal document absolving him of

1418
01:05:55,640 --> 01:05:59,480
Speaker 5: any child sport he owed before Amanda was legally adopted,

1419
01:05:59,560 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 5: and then a man will have no claims on any

1420
01:06:02,240 --> 01:06:04,040
Speaker 5: of his property or assets.

1421
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:04,400
Speaker 3: When he passes.

1422
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,520
Speaker 5: Get out of there, go figure it out. Be a

1423
01:06:07,560 --> 01:06:09,240
Speaker 5: big girl and figure it out yourself.

1424
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:12,240
Speaker 3: That's what I would say, Amanda.

1425
01:06:12,400 --> 01:06:14,000
Speaker 5: My dad has made it clear that he is not

1426
01:06:14,120 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 5: overly concerned if Amanda and my aunt don't agree, but

1427
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:18,920
Speaker 5: it would prefer to settle this just in case of

1428
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:21,360
Speaker 5: potential issues in the future. I also spoke to my

1429
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:25,000
Speaker 5: paternal grandmother. My paternal grandfather passed away years ago, and

1430
01:06:25,080 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 5: she said that she's never liked My aunt, is glad

1431
01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 5: that my dad left her with as little money as possible,

1432
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:33,720
Speaker 5: and that she can't be expected to love and care

1433
01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 5: for a potential grandchild she's never met. Given that my

1434
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:40,800
Speaker 5: grandmother didn't even like me until I was about three,

1435
01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 5: this is in character for her.

1436
01:06:43,360 --> 01:06:45,919
Speaker 3: Wait, what didn't even like you until you were three?

1437
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:50,440
Speaker 5: The fair baby that sucks crazy. The rest of my

1438
01:06:50,520 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 5: dad's paternal side seemed to be of the same mindset

1439
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,520
Speaker 5: and will only consider talking to Amanda once she can

1440
01:06:56,600 --> 01:06:58,120
Speaker 5: prove she's related.

1441
01:06:58,280 --> 01:07:00,280
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story. Would you

1442
01:07:00,320 --> 01:07:00,760
Speaker 3: look at that?

1443
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:02,240
Speaker 1: How are you gonna hate on a baby?

1444
01:07:03,120 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 3: Honestly? Like shore is the product of an affair, but like,

1445
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 3: come on.

1446
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:11,040
Speaker 1: The baby is not guilty, not at all. It's a

1447
01:07:11,080 --> 01:07:13,600
Speaker 1: baby is a baby.

1448
01:07:13,640 --> 01:07:14,760
Speaker 3: It can barely blink.

1449
01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:21,880
Speaker 1: You know, you're a mirrored way to describe a baby.

1450
01:07:22,960 --> 01:07:25,320
Speaker 3: You're on a That baby can barely blink.

1451
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:28,360
Speaker 5: I don't think there's anything to be upset about.

1452
01:07:28,440 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 1: You're right, the charges of grand larssony and felony fraud

1453
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:33,800
Speaker 1: are being dropped. That baby can barely blink.

1454
01:07:34,200 --> 01:07:35,360
Speaker 3: Hell well, can you blink?

1455
01:07:35,640 --> 01:07:37,600
Speaker 1: Who prosecuted this baby for fraud?

1456
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:41,560
Speaker 4: Not me?

1457
01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:42,480
Speaker 2: Not me?

1458
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:46,880
Speaker 1: That is the end of that story.