Speaker 1: Here we go again. We're rolling. We know parenting is back.
Speaker 1: You thought it wouldn't be, but it is. Yeah. Everyone
Speaker 1: thought this podcast was just going to end abruptly after
Speaker 1: last week, but it didn't. Peter McNerney here, Beth Newell
Speaker 1: here reporting, reporting live from parenthood. Um, hey, are you
Speaker 1: new to the podcast? If you are, um, that's who
Speaker 1: we are. We are parents, we are married, we have children.
Speaker 1: We've stopped explaining this a long time ago. But for
Speaker 1: those of you who, maybe for those of you just
Speaker 1: joining us us at the part of the podcast where
Speaker 1: we ramble into a vague intro of our parenting podcast,
Speaker 1: we have a five year old named Bryns Nuts this week,
Speaker 1: and Maven is three, and she's a goof. Maven's Maven's
Speaker 1: embracing her goof hood this week. She's a give She's
Speaker 1: always been a goof, yeah, but she's she's a self
Speaker 1: aware goof. So there's a lot of silly dances. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of farts, there's a lot of look at me?
Speaker 1: Is that funny? It's costume season as well as scorpio season.
Speaker 1: Well they go hand in hand. Everyone's really in a mood.
Speaker 1: Did you notice what's on this chair over here. What
Speaker 1: is it permanent marker? What? Maven has tucked in several
Speaker 1: of her stuffed animals under her blanket. She's really into
Speaker 1: taking care of things and putting them to bed. This
Speaker 1: is really new for her to play with dolls in
Speaker 1: a in like an affectionate girly way. Yeah, for sure. Um,
Speaker 1: it seems on schedule she's going to get a baby
Speaker 1: cousin and she's going to be like, I'm the mom.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, she's as We've talked about this a
Speaker 1: million times, but you know, we didn't. We didn't particularly
Speaker 1: give her girly stuff. She found it, and she found pink,
Speaker 1: and it's her identity. She seeked it out. But she
Speaker 1: hasn't really ever been that into the like stereotypical like
Speaker 1: mom toys like baby dolls and kitchen sets. Like she's
Speaker 1: not like obsessed with like it's performing womanhood. Oh that's true.
Speaker 1: She means she's obsessed with unicorns and pink and princesses.
Speaker 1: But that's true. So the baby thing is new. The
Speaker 1: baby thing is new, but she's she's actually more she
Speaker 1: has been doing that with animals for a while, like
Speaker 1: stuffed animals. She'll like I'm the doctor. She did. She
Speaker 1: gave me a very convincing portrayal of a doctor when
Speaker 1: she was playing with her docmic Stephen's veterinarian set and
Speaker 1: with the animals, and she would take like the blood
Speaker 1: pressure thing and like put it on very carefully, and
Speaker 1: she was like giving me a checkup. And she was
Speaker 1: just so calm and casual, casual about it in a
Speaker 1: way where I was like, this is exactly how a
Speaker 1: nurse is in the room. She was just like and
Speaker 1: I just have to tap this on the side of
Speaker 1: your face and like, but it was like not um,
Speaker 1: real doctor check up stuff she was doing. But it
Speaker 1: all felt very like she plays for herself and Bryn
Speaker 1: plays to the room. Yeah, boy, Bryn has He's a
Speaker 1: just peak argument. Everything is an argument. He's been a
Speaker 1: little bit of a nightmare this week. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I was like, well, they the bathroom in your classroom, right,
Speaker 1: He's like, no, there's no bathroom in my classroom. I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I've been there, I've seen it. And he goes, your
Speaker 1: teacher said that there was a bathroom in the classroom. Um,
Speaker 1: she was kidding, daddy, there's no bathroom in the classroom.
Speaker 1: School is so boring. He's been cranky, He's been saying
Speaker 1: school is boring. I was telling a friends they were
Speaker 1: like someone was talking about how mean their kid is
Speaker 1: to them, which is like everyone says that, but like
Speaker 1: when kids are like really mean, the things they find
Speaker 1: to say are like so cutting and burned with. I
Speaker 1: was laughing about it because I was like, where did
Speaker 1: you come up with this? But like yesterday I was
Speaker 1: trying to get him to brush his teeth or something,
Speaker 1: and he was like, you're a bad mommy. He's like
Speaker 1: you're like he basically was like you're a bad mother,
Speaker 1: like and it was like, I cannot believe you came
Speaker 1: up with that. Like, I mean, it's a pretty simple
Speaker 1: thing to say. I know, I know, but it just
Speaker 1: like feels so cut singing. This is my greatest fear.
Speaker 1: When I was hanging on my friend in l A
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago, her daughter, who's Maven's age,
Speaker 1: turned to her like in the middle of playing, it
Speaker 1: was just like, mommy, I can't stop. And then she
Speaker 1: like continued she like went on and like it did
Speaker 1: something else. We were like, whoa, that was like chilling,
Speaker 1: Like she just like out of nowhere. It was connected
Speaker 1: to nothing. She was just thinking about time and growing.
Speaker 1: I can't stop, mommy, so I should continue goodbye. Um
Speaker 1: so mayven. So I tell you this a couple of
Speaker 1: nights ago, I don't know. We're getting ready for bed
Speaker 1: and Maven comes running in. I'm getting I'm pulling out
Speaker 1: some jammies because they're obviously not taking the initiative. And
Speaker 1: Maven comes running into the room completely naked. She was daddy, daddy,
Speaker 1: and she leans to own and just opens up, uh
Speaker 1: everything down there and goes, what's this bump? And I
Speaker 1: had to, without laughing a straight face, day, um, that's
Speaker 1: your clatoris And she went what and laughed at me
Speaker 1: and shook her head and walked out of the room.
Speaker 1: I'm impressed that you dealt with it so calmly. I
Speaker 1: was like, well, I don't. I don't want. I don't
Speaker 1: want to treat this like it's a funny thing, because
Speaker 1: you don't want to give any way to the moment
Speaker 1: where they're like, is it funny if I show off
Speaker 1: my genitals to the room, Like you don't want to
Speaker 1: create any sort of any reward. I'm going to give
Speaker 1: you a very clinical I didn't say it serious. I
Speaker 1: didn't say it goofy. I just said it, and she
Speaker 1: could feel that there was something like naughty about it.
Speaker 1: She's very into like talking about her but lately, oh
Speaker 1: my god, have you seen her? But because she's happy
Speaker 1: to show it to you and any other part of her.
Speaker 1: Um okay, So my funniest Maven moment of the weekend
Speaker 1: it was she had been in the other room playing
Speaker 1: with the scissors and she walked into the kitchen and goes, um,
Speaker 1: my hair looks a little bit cutted, and of course
Speaker 1: she had cut her bangs. Luckily she only cut like
Speaker 1: the tiniest piece of her bangs. For clarity, these are
Speaker 1: like the safety scissors, Yeah, yeah, they're Yeah. She had
Speaker 1: been cutting paper with like like kids scissors, and she's
Speaker 1: actually very careful with that sort of thing. So I
Speaker 1: but I was like, I cannot leave these out now
Speaker 1: because she's they're they're both just like fiends, like you
Speaker 1: never know what the pens anymore. They see what they
Speaker 1: did at antique table. The more I tell them about
Speaker 1: how permanent markers are not for them, the more they
Speaker 1: crave permanent markers every second of the day. I needed
Speaker 1: to sharp to write my name on this thin piece
Speaker 1: of paper. On top of this, we're gonna need to
Speaker 1: get like a lockbox or something for literally everything we own. Um,
Speaker 1: but just oh, Beth, we could put them in a
Speaker 1: lock box. I mean, she's more practical. Yeah. Oh. So
Speaker 1: then I was like, I was like, oh, may then don't.
Speaker 1: You're not supposed to. Kids are not supposed to cut
Speaker 1: their hair. And I hadn't even seen the damage, and
Speaker 1: I was just like, you can't do that, and she
Speaker 1: burst into tears so passionately. She had been really tired,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, oh my god. I was like,
Speaker 1: it's okay. I'd like comfort her. She was so she
Speaker 1: felt so guilty. I do think she was just I
Speaker 1: think there's a part of her that she was like,
Speaker 1: my beautiful hair, what have I done? I had well?
Speaker 1: And then because she also her face was covered in chocolate,
Speaker 1: like inexplicably, like she was like, no, I don't know
Speaker 1: you like that. There's that chocolate hummus from Trader Joe's around. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That that that makes me nervous. I can't wrap my
Speaker 1: brain around kee and chocolate chickpeas. It's like they're eating beans.
Speaker 1: That's good for them chocolate. Yeah I didn't try it
Speaker 1: beans um. But anyway, so she was so upset and
Speaker 1: then I calmed her down and yeah, here we are, here,
Speaker 1: we are. Um. We went to a big event this weekend.
Speaker 1: Should we talk about it? A very big event, big deal.
Speaker 1: Halloween is this Thursday. Yeah, okay. So for those of
Speaker 1: you who don't live in Westchester County, New York, there
Speaker 1: is something called the Great Jack o' Lantern Blaze, sometimes
Speaker 1: called just the Pumpkin Plaze, sometimes called the Pumpkin Place.
Speaker 1: If you're Brandon, you want to correct your daddy when
Speaker 1: daddy says jack'lina bla. But what you need to know
Speaker 1: is that when it comes to Westchester, this is like
Speaker 1: the event of the year, Like this is the bless
Speaker 1: a scene for you. There's nothing more important to west
Speaker 1: Chester in If you're a mom, a dad, a kid
Speaker 1: in Westchester, a living, breathing human being, you're going to
Speaker 1: be seen at the Blue Blaze. So the Blaze is
Speaker 1: where they carve I think it's like over a thousands.
Speaker 1: Their claim to famous that these are all hand carved pumpkins,
Speaker 1: which means they're not all living pumpkins. Some of them
Speaker 1: are hand carved like pumpkins something I mean, don't get
Speaker 1: us wrong. There's a tremendous number of very real pumpkins. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's impressive. And they have you know, they have different
Speaker 1: gimmicky pumpkins, dinosaur podkas. I just want to pause right
Speaker 1: here and admit that so far how we've described it
Speaker 1: doesn't sound cool. But just wait if you were to
Speaker 1: behold the speck to gill of pump pumpkins and mass
Speaker 1: lit before you through a child's eyes who's witnessing them
Speaker 1: in the dark, a child who never stays up at night.
Speaker 1: And we're also talking about tremendous lighting design up into
Speaker 1: the trees, tremendous, tremendous they have. So this is in
Speaker 1: Croton on Hudson, which is near Sleepy Hollow. So it's
Speaker 1: like the home of the Headless Horsemen basically was born.
Speaker 1: And so they have a path of pumpkins that leads
Speaker 1: deep into the woods where you just look spookily down
Speaker 1: this creepy path. It's very it's very autumnal. It is
Speaker 1: aggressively autumn. It's also set on a historical site where
Speaker 1: I do think a ghost tried to get into my
Speaker 1: body at one point of course, but it's the historical buildings.
Speaker 1: It's very spooky. So anyway, these pumpkins. They build a
Speaker 1: giant replica of the Brooklyn Bridge out of pumpkins. They
Speaker 1: make a statue liber out of pumpkin. They have big
Speaker 1: creepy Jack in the box made out of pumpkins, and
Speaker 1: then a giant scary jack lantern pops out of it
Speaker 1: and scares our kids. They have every zodiac sign fully
Speaker 1: created in pumpkins. Um they have, so I think we've
Speaker 1: paid it a picture for you of how amazing it is.
Speaker 1: And every section has a pumpkin pun based name. But
Speaker 1: I gotta say my greatest achievement of the weekend was
Speaker 1: that they said the Pumpkin Bridge for the Brooklyn Bridge,
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's the lamest. They couldn't have
Speaker 1: gone with the gored Washington Bridge for the pumpkin z bridge.
Speaker 1: No hold on, we're gonna let everybody applaud from my
Speaker 1: joke because they're they're all falling over in their seats
Speaker 1: for the gorge Washington Bridge. Okay, I was I was
Speaker 1: really a really trying to hire to think of a
Speaker 1: good pumpkin punt for a bridge, and when I came
Speaker 1: out with that one. I was like, we can go
Speaker 1: home now. I feel good. We didn't. I just need
Speaker 1: to stop the podcast to underline that joke. Um, and
Speaker 1: now we went with your sister and her friend and
Speaker 1: it was delightful. It was great. We really so we
Speaker 1: went to a restaurant beforehand where our kids were insane
Speaker 1: and literally trying to like throw their glasses around on
Speaker 1: the table. Were you proud of me? So we gave
Speaker 1: them phones, which is like a big thing. We don't
Speaker 1: do it, but you know what, that's why we don't
Speaker 1: give them phones, so that when we have to it
Speaker 1: really works. Well. This is really like underlying my theory
Speaker 1: that most of them when they're being horrible, they're like
Speaker 1: starving and tired, like they're just because we were on
Speaker 1: the way to dinner and they were so fine in
Speaker 1: the car and then as soon as we sat down
Speaker 1: and I had snacks in the car ready to get
Speaker 1: of them, but they didn't want them. But it was
Speaker 1: like it was something about the second we sat down,
Speaker 1: they just snapped into like rage starving monsters and they
Speaker 1: were like, let's try to throw our glasses around on
Speaker 1: the table. This is just what's so, you know, I
Speaker 1: picked them up most days, and when we picked them
Speaker 1: up from after school, you know, it's you know, five o'clock,
Speaker 1: it's the worst hour. It's what they're the most upset.
Speaker 1: They're tired, they're hungry, and so it's every day we're
Speaker 1: learning to hate each other. Well, I think if we
Speaker 1: had better work life balance, we could pick them up
Speaker 1: at like make a trillion dollars and then we'll do
Speaker 1: it and you'll be a house husband. Yes, I would
Speaker 1: love that. We've talked about this before. I'm I'm halfway there.
Speaker 1: Just just make you want to be like maybe part
Speaker 1: time husband, like part time a dad. No, I don't
Speaker 1: want to be a full house husband. I have too
Speaker 1: many things to do. But maybe just for a few months,
Speaker 1: I'd like to sexy role play. Oh yeah, that I
Speaker 1: will do. Hey, honey, sorry, I gotta run out and
Speaker 1: get some new wipes. There's like a movie version of
Speaker 1: this where we you lose a job and you're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm just gonna be a house husband
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know what, go for it, and
Speaker 1: it's like smooth sailing for like five weeks, and then
Speaker 1: you just crash and you're like, I get this is
Speaker 1: called Mr Mom and made this movie six it's my guest.
Speaker 1: I've never seen it. Um anyway, boy, our pumpkins are ablaze?
Speaker 1: Can I say it's something? The best thing I've learned
Speaker 1: from the pumpkin Blaze, the best thing the Jack Lanner
Speaker 1: blaze is don't cut the top of your pumpkin. You
Speaker 1: know Pelee always cut the top out from the blaze. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I just realized none of them have holes on
Speaker 1: the top. Everyone, all of them there they cut a
Speaker 1: hole in the bottom. Uh, And so I was like,
Speaker 1: that's a good idea. We cut the bottom out, scooped
Speaker 1: it out, and then the little piece that it creates,
Speaker 1: I dug a little circle into it. That's a perfect
Speaker 1: size for the little tea uh candles, tea can what
Speaker 1: is it called? They called tea candles? Tea light? Do
Speaker 1: you light um? And then that fits right in there.
Speaker 1: Then you light that and then you just put the
Speaker 1: jack Lanner on top of it so you don't have
Speaker 1: to light it and then stick your hand down and
Speaker 1: burn your hand. Have I talked on the podcast about
Speaker 1: my neighbor across the street growing up on how obsessed
Speaker 1: she was with Halloween. No, Um, I had a neighbor
Speaker 1: cross the street who was when I was a kid.
Speaker 1: She was probably like fifty something, which seemed very old,
Speaker 1: but she, you know, she wasn't um and she was
Speaker 1: obsessed with Halloween and she was a witch every year,
Speaker 1: and she would decorate her whole front yard with like
Speaker 1: strobe lights and like black lights, and she had like
Speaker 1: a witch over a cauldron with like steam coming out
Speaker 1: of it. And she's great and like and she'd like
Speaker 1: makes something new every year and have grave stones and
Speaker 1: like hands coming out and like. So I would go
Speaker 1: over while she was setting up and I'd like check
Speaker 1: it out, and I was like, I'm sure. I thought
Speaker 1: I was like very mature, and I'd be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: what are you doing this year? Like you know, like hey,
Speaker 1: calf looking good this year? And you know, I love crafts,
Speaker 1: so I was always just like, oh, yeah, yeah, you
Speaker 1: should probably do it that way. Like it it's like
Speaker 1: very invested. And I so I now still feel like
Speaker 1: Halloween is one of the few holidays where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I understand really going all out for this holiday. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, should we go all out? This? It makes
Speaker 1: me wish I had a house because my friend was
Speaker 1: buying like a fall wreath, and I was like, there's
Speaker 1: nothing about our apartment that is worth decorating for the public,
Speaker 1: do you know? I mean, oh yeah, you know what.
Speaker 1: The idea of having a house on Halloween made me
Speaker 1: more excited than any other time you've you've suggested or
Speaker 1: put the picture in my head of us if I
Speaker 1: had a house for Halloween, it would be definitely like
Speaker 1: cobwebs and it's in my house. But first we have
Speaker 1: to redo our bathroom. Oh oh yeah, that is the
Speaker 1: big news. Should we make a segment of a segment.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back with renovation news. And now it's
Speaker 1: time for we knows, we knows Reyna's I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: we knows how expensive it is to fix the leak
Speaker 1: in your shower when it expands into a full bathroom renovation.
Speaker 1: I liked my title, bettering um, your title has a
Speaker 1: better chance of being reused than mine. So we've decided,
Speaker 1: for various reasons, including the fact that everything in our
Speaker 1: bathroom is falling apart, our hand has been forced, we've
Speaker 1: decided to renovate our bathroom in our apartment. In our
Speaker 1: apartment which only has one bathroom. So so when we
Speaker 1: moved in the shower was the least um not disgusting.
Speaker 1: Now it looked kind of gross, the least not discussing
Speaker 1: that's double negative, right, is the grossest are when we
Speaker 1: moved in, our shower had like black grow like moldy
Speaker 1: grow that it. It appeared to be uncleanable, but has
Speaker 1: since slowly worn away through three five years of cleaning. Yes,
Speaker 1: but the window sill, the corner of it was rotted away,
Speaker 1: just soft so the window sills running away. And then
Speaker 1: there was a a soap holder, a soap dish built
Speaker 1: into the tile which at some point got ripped off
Speaker 1: the wall of you put your foot on it, shaping
Speaker 1: your legs. Is that true? I don't remember. That's what
Speaker 1: you told me. Blame it on me, not your fault.
Speaker 1: It was not installed securely, so at one point I
Speaker 1: pulled the entire windows still out, um, and I cut
Speaker 1: out the infected piece and I was like, well, here's
Speaker 1: a temporary solution. And I pumped this thing full of
Speaker 1: hawk and sealed it all up as best as a
Speaker 1: YouTube video could teach me. And you know what, I
Speaker 1: did a pretty good job. Um. But I did a
Speaker 1: job that lasted maybe for two months, before it started,
Speaker 1: the paint started chipping, and it's yeah, so are that's
Speaker 1: been in various stages of decay, and then our toilets
Speaker 1: started running weird. Fixed that that is fixed. That is fixed,
Speaker 1: at least temporarily. We have another weird temporary fix going on. Oh,
Speaker 1: I got the perfect length on that chain. Finally, I
Speaker 1: don't know that's how that's been messing up. I stand
Speaker 1: by my toilet um. But downstairs neighbors that started leaking.
Speaker 1: We got a call from the super But that part
Speaker 1: of that problem is that if you if our blinds
Speaker 1: are not closed in our shower, then water gets through
Speaker 1: the window somehow. Yeah, it weeks out to the wall
Speaker 1: to through the brick wall on the outside of the build.
Speaker 1: And I don't even think our bathroom renovation budget includes
Speaker 1: a new window. That's one of the questions that is
Speaker 1: yet to be at The window is not the problem.
Speaker 1: It's the window still and I've talked to him specifically
Speaker 1: about it. We're getting a stone window skill. I think
Speaker 1: that's why it was leaking them because the days that
Speaker 1: our neighbor complained the blinds were up. We'll get into it.
Speaker 1: I've I've been in there the whole thing is full
Speaker 1: of false the whole thing is okay. Well anyway, I
Speaker 1: hope everyone is who's listening is riveted by this David
Speaker 1: description are decaying bathroom. But it was one of those things.
Speaker 1: We brought it in in a guy and he was like,
Speaker 1: I could patch this hole this much money, but the
Speaker 1: whole wall is sort of crappy, so I can't promise
Speaker 1: that I won't be back. And he's like, we could
Speaker 1: do the shower, and of course we could do the
Speaker 1: whole thing. And at the time I was like, just
Speaker 1: give me a quote for the whole and get maybe
Speaker 1: give me a hold for the shower, and then later
Speaker 1: and now I was like, we're not going to do
Speaker 1: half a bathroom. No you can't, not with the tile
Speaker 1: covering like the whole bathroom. So we got it a
Speaker 1: second guy who never emailed us back, which made it
Speaker 1: easy to decide, I'm going to the first guy. I
Speaker 1: think listeners should write in and tell us how to
Speaker 1: redo our bathroom. Please give us tips, because I feel
Speaker 1: sort of like I don't want to spend a ton
Speaker 1: of money on this, but I also want to like
Speaker 1: it too, not be a crappy thing. I have to
Speaker 1: live with forever. We we did this in our old place,
Speaker 1: and you designed it and you did an incredible job,
Speaker 1: I know, but what in retrospect, like our contractor was
Speaker 1: shitty and the materials could have been better, and like,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that I would do differently.
Speaker 1: I think it was only the contractor. It was like
Speaker 1: at least contractor, But there was also like like howel
Speaker 1: rods and stuff I bought where I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, why did I assume that this fancy, expensive
Speaker 1: restoration hardware stuff would be good because it's not restoration
Speaker 1: or hardware is ship. It's not all ship. But like
Speaker 1: it's that couch that we bought that deteriorated so quickly,
Speaker 1: not always solid, and at lamp that we bought fell
Speaker 1: over and just snapped in that couch's defense, like we
Speaker 1: really gave it beating. Are those life fixtures from restoration
Speaker 1: hardware on the wall? No, those are from pottery Barn.
Speaker 1: I think we have very exquisite diversities. We run the
Speaker 1: gamut from pottery Barn all the way to restoration hardware. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we talked about our Joybird couch. Still great, Still great.
Speaker 1: If you haven't listened to our Joybird episode. I don't
Speaker 1: remember if it's good, but we talked about joy Bird.
Speaker 1: That's where our couches from. I love it anyway. If
Speaker 1: you're listening and you want to give us free stuff,
Speaker 1: where always open to it. Really, this segment is called
Speaker 1: do you knows how to give us? Give us? Um?
Speaker 1: Are you the owner of a warehouse full of subway tiles? Now?
Speaker 1: But okay, here's the questions that have yet to be
Speaker 1: answered that I am just dreading having to research. Is like,
Speaker 1: we have a tiny bathroom. The current sink is like
Speaker 1: not even a pedestal, it's just connected to the wall
Speaker 1: with a basin, so there's no cabinet or anything there.
Speaker 1: I think the responsible thing to do is always to
Speaker 1: add in like a cabinet under the sink so you
Speaker 1: can throw like storage is good the only spot in
Speaker 1: bathroom where there is space, right. But the research of
Speaker 1: finding vanity that's small enough to fitness space like that
Speaker 1: is like incredibly annoying. And then when you try to
Speaker 1: figure out if something's made of solid wood or like
Speaker 1: cardboard paper, they'll never give you the details, and you're
Speaker 1: like looking online, you know what I mean, And then
Speaker 1: you're like, oh, I have to run around to like
Speaker 1: ten stores this weekend to see if this thing I'm
Speaker 1: looking at is like a piece of garbage. Anyway, these
Speaker 1: are the things that I think about when I anticipate
Speaker 1: this very fun renovation. I want to help, but you
Speaker 1: know what, and I will on the non design things.
Speaker 1: I'll give you opinions, but you're better at it and
Speaker 1: you're more particular. So if you want to send me places,
Speaker 1: send me places. I just don't even really know where
Speaker 1: to start at this point, because I'm like, what do
Speaker 1: I even want this bathroom to look like? You know
Speaker 1: what I mean? I want like a vision, and I
Speaker 1: don't want to try to do the same bathroom we
Speaker 1: did last time. Well it was a really good bathroom.
Speaker 1: I mean you could sort of do it like that.
Speaker 1: It was fun, but like you should that color, take
Speaker 1: that wallpaper out of there? Is this entertainment here us
Speaker 1: plan our renovation. Who who's has renovation night? Our stories?
Speaker 1: Can you believe? I do want to hear? I feel
Speaker 1: this is what it feels like. The renovation feels like
Speaker 1: a trap, like for our marriage, Like it's just you
Speaker 1: know it's going to be stressful. Yeah, well we've already
Speaker 1: thought about it, Um, yeah, and we will continue. Um.
Speaker 1: I was really I really thought I was out of
Speaker 1: the out of the weeds. But with what When I
Speaker 1: like passing the project onto you, I was like, all right,
Speaker 1: this went well. That was a little hasty, but it's fine. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: here we are here, We are here, we are now
Speaker 1: should we just redo the whole place? What else would
Speaker 1: you red doing here? Though? Like all the floors, all
Speaker 1: the walls, all the things. Knock that wall down, open
Speaker 1: it up, you know, not more money than we have.
Speaker 1: Knocking down walls is overrated. There's nothing Like we could
Speaker 1: redo our kitchen, but it wouldn't like vastly increase the value.
Speaker 1: Like we we would do better by just stripping all
Speaker 1: the wallpaper in our kitchen and then like painting. You know,
Speaker 1: but who's going to do that? Us? Never because we
Speaker 1: could do wallpaper. I was gonna say, we can't afford
Speaker 1: to do anything except maybe barely this bathroom. But anyway,
Speaker 1: are you a contractor? Do you want to do it
Speaker 1: for free? And you're great in our designer We probably
Speaker 1: your location based in this podcast. You want to move
Speaker 1: to Westchester to fix our bathroom? If you say yes, uh,
Speaker 1: there's probably something wrong with you? Are you h an
Speaker 1: independent small business owner who stands very little to gain
Speaker 1: by giving us free stuff. I'll tell you what. You
Speaker 1: will get a ton of free publicity to a very
Speaker 1: specific target of demographics. Here. You know what, there's probably
Speaker 1: a lot of people listening to this. They could redo
Speaker 1: a bathroom or already have. Are you restoration hardware and
Speaker 1: you want to make amends for the past. We don't
Speaker 1: want to hear it because what you did was unforgivable.
Speaker 1: If your joy bird enjoy Bird does bathrooms. What I
Speaker 1: want to hear from listeners is like dream scenario. Who
Speaker 1: should we be trying to get to sponsor this? Like Ikia?
Speaker 1: Who tell us our dream sponsor? Ikia, Well, you know,
Speaker 1: dream big if you want to. I really, here's what
Speaker 1: here's how you can tell I'm getting old? Is like really,
Speaker 1: more than anything. All I can think about is I
Speaker 1: want the materials to be solid and not break in
Speaker 1: two minutes. You know what I mean? That's all. As
Speaker 1: I started looking around you and you were like, we
Speaker 1: should get a heavier door for the bathroom, I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that would be good. And then I started looking at
Speaker 1: all of our doors and I'm like ship now I
Speaker 1: hate all our doors. Well, I hate our doors, but
Speaker 1: I've convinced myself to be okay with them because our
Speaker 1: kids haven't pinched their fingers in heavy doors. But I'm
Speaker 1: really invested in our doors now that it took me
Speaker 1: a year and a half to replace all the door
Speaker 1: knobs I just hate because they're so like, not at
Speaker 1: all sound proof. So you just always feel like you're
Speaker 1: always in close physical proximity to everyone in the apartment.
Speaker 1: And that's why I go as far away from you
Speaker 1: as possible for your own kid. This next segment is
Speaker 1: called what is it called you pointed at me? What
Speaker 1: is it called you putting on me to start talking?
Speaker 1: After I started talking? This next segment is called Listeners
Speaker 1: want to Know? Is that's where we take questions and
Speaker 1: come ones from you guys. I don't think I did,
Speaker 1: but that's fine, all right. Oh yeah, we got a voicemail,
Speaker 1: my darling. You really listen to it. Get thrown at me.
Speaker 1: Here it comes. Hey, Beth and Peter, this is the
Speaker 1: least from Baltimore. I love the podcast. Have a question
Speaker 1: for you. We have a three year old boy and
Speaker 1: a one year old girl. I'm looking for recommendations for
Speaker 1: books where boys do emotional labor and or girls get
Speaker 1: to be assholes. We have an older boy and a
Speaker 1: younger girl. I'm a stay at home mom, so we've
Speaker 1: got like a real heteronormative situation here. And for example,
Speaker 1: the little engine that could, the mail trains all get
Speaker 1: to say no, I'm too busy or I'm too old,
Speaker 1: I can't help out the broken down train. But then
Speaker 1: the female train comes along and it's the hero. It's
Speaker 1: great that she's the hero, but I feel like there
Speaker 1: are lots of books where the boys get to be jerks,
Speaker 1: then the girl has to be nice. So I thought
Speaker 1: you guys might be able to give them recom dations
Speaker 1: on this so we can take up things in our household.
Speaker 1: Thanks guys. This podcast got me pregnant. Stuck the land
Speaker 1: that a great ending boy out of nowhere. If you
Speaker 1: don't know that inside joke, you're new to the new
Speaker 1: to the cast. Ouch, this got me pregnant. Um okay,
Speaker 1: um boy. This is a great question. This is a
Speaker 1: good question, and I wish I had a better answer
Speaker 1: for her. I'm actually scratching my head a little bit.
Speaker 1: But she she makes a really good point, which is
Speaker 1: that boys get to do fun, gross stuff in books
Speaker 1: and girls don't see it. We've talked about this a
Speaker 1: little bit, but you can see it in media um
Speaker 1: a bit. You know when you see um she Larray
Speaker 1: the Brave, which is not new, it was a classic.
Speaker 1: Yes she's a mouse, right yeah, and she's like she's
Speaker 1: messing with cats and stuff like she's like yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: that Like, well, what I was gonna say is you see,
Speaker 1: like the media of our childhood, the things that are
Speaker 1: there's a lot more UM movies and stuff where you'd
Speaker 1: see female characters being like, I don't want to fit
Speaker 1: into this, uh this role, this like stereotypical female role.
Speaker 1: I'm going to break out of it, and all these
Speaker 1: villains are like women can't do things. And at the
Speaker 1: time it was this like, oh this that's a great
Speaker 1: inspirational message. But where we are now, I see things
Speaker 1: like that and I would see MAYBN watch that. I'm like,
Speaker 1: don't even give her the idea that that's a normal
Speaker 1: thing to break away from. Let's just show me the
Speaker 1: characters that that are just living this that's normal that
Speaker 1: there's no you don't need to take out of this role.
Speaker 1: We've done that and now we're just telling a different story.
Speaker 1: And I'd love to hear from listeners um about like
Speaker 1: what what books and movies, um are your your kids
Speaker 1: watching reading where that's the case where it just I
Speaker 1: actually like, I don't know. I like some movies like
Speaker 1: that where it's like a league of their own or whatever,
Speaker 1: where it's like women coming together, like we rarely get that.
Speaker 1: Like I actually think, if anything, sometimes what's limiting about
Speaker 1: that message is it like sort of puts it on
Speaker 1: women as if it was like our fault that we
Speaker 1: didn't like shake off the chains, but are like actively
Speaker 1: holding us back every step of the way, you know,
Speaker 1: Like right, yeah, there's there's nothing wrong with that. It's
Speaker 1: just those movies where let's just see a story that
Speaker 1: takes place in a reality where we don't have to
Speaker 1: if people women or anyone who's playing outside their typical
Speaker 1: stereotypical role doesn't even need to be commented on. It's
Speaker 1: just let it be true. Yeah in some cases, but
Speaker 1: I also think there should be movies about people being like, hey,
Speaker 1: we're directly experiencing oppression. Let's talk about it. Like it's
Speaker 1: like sure, but I was thinking about like the kids
Speaker 1: the age that our kids are. I think it's more
Speaker 1: beneficial to just let them seeing, let them see everyone
Speaker 1: be treated the same, because if you give them the oh,
Speaker 1: look see this woman is being different, you're really giving
Speaker 1: them the message that there's something to fix. You know.
Speaker 1: It's like Black Panther. It's a great example of what's
Speaker 1: so incredible about that movie is that obviously, the the
Speaker 1: themes in the commentary of the movie are incredible, but
Speaker 1: a big part that's hugely unique about it is just
Speaker 1: like this, uh, this this fictional nation that's like the
Speaker 1: most advanced and run entirely by Africans. That's like a
Speaker 1: type of story and context that you don't see movies
Speaker 1: like that about. Um. And so just to let that
Speaker 1: be normal is for a lot of people exciting and empowering. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I agree, representation matters and it's very important.
Speaker 1: But also even within that movie, there exists structures of oppressure. Um.
Speaker 1: So yeah, um um, but boy, let's think about it.
Speaker 1: Are there what what things do they watch that are
Speaker 1: well she's asking about books, Yeah, yeah that too. She
Speaker 1: I'm really like, we have that book. Kilda must be dancing,
Speaker 1: But I don't necessarily think dancing is like a boy activity.
Speaker 1: What I'm trying to think other like it's hard to eat.
Speaker 1: That's the problem. Part of the problem is it's hard
Speaker 1: to even think of like female centered media like in general.
Speaker 1: Sometimes like if you if you narrow it down beyond that,
Speaker 1: like what I find sometimes just even in terms of
Speaker 1: like when I know someone who's like looking to make
Speaker 1: something in the entertainment and they're like, we're doing this thing,
Speaker 1: and then for whatever reason, it's like it's also supposed
Speaker 1: to be a woman in a role, or uh, we're
Speaker 1: looking for someone who's cuban or like they have some
Speaker 1: specific need. It's like suddenly everyone is scratching their head
Speaker 1: because they're like I don't know, uh, I haven't seen them.
Speaker 1: Because because they're also looking for someone who's been gainfully
Speaker 1: employed doing that thing and has experience. And then people
Speaker 1: are like, well, I can't think of a single person
Speaker 1: who has anyone's let do that who goes by that description,
Speaker 1: you know, like yeah, it's also an interesting thing that
Speaker 1: have been in mostly in TV is what I'm thinking of,
Speaker 1: where there's a really good, healthy push to diversify UM entertainment,
Speaker 1: but you can see the ones where it's thoughtfully done,
Speaker 1: and the ones where it's that like, oh, let's make
Speaker 1: a perfect blend of races and uh, and we don't
Speaker 1: actually give these characters personalities. Their personality is that there
Speaker 1: uh Asian, you know, um, and we've seen a lot
Speaker 1: of guy and there's a lot of uh. Most of
Speaker 1: them I think are like black characters who are like
Speaker 1: the doctor um, and they go like, oh, that's good,
Speaker 1: let's give let's give this this character status. But they
Speaker 1: don't make character choices. They just go, oh, we gave
Speaker 1: him a high status profession, so there we go. We diversify,
Speaker 1: and that's like not as helpful as making this a
Speaker 1: real interesting, textured character with personal character flaws that has
Speaker 1: like a normal relationship with other people so they're not
Speaker 1: defined by these traits. Well, and then that's like the
Speaker 1: whole other side of the representation coin is like you
Speaker 1: need to actually diversify the creator so that you have
Speaker 1: people making things in the first place. That makes sense
Speaker 1: to be casting and hiring all these other people. Um. Yeah, Anyway,
Speaker 1: that was a long tangent, but seriously, can you try
Speaker 1: to answer her questions. Can you think of books that
Speaker 1: have women who act wild like all the examples I
Speaker 1: can think of is like, okay, there's like the Shrek book,
Speaker 1: but the the character I'm thinking of his like monster
Speaker 1: bride princess is like only they're in the last two
Speaker 1: pages of the book. You know what we're reading right
Speaker 1: now is The Twits um where they're both disgusting and deplorable. Um.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the messages on that one. You roll?
Speaker 1: Do you remember the Twits? They're just this couple that
Speaker 1: despise each other and they just pull pranks on each other.
Speaker 1: And and he like he adds like a thin little
Speaker 1: sliver of wood to the bottom of her cane every
Speaker 1: day too, so she starts to feel like she's shrinking. Uh,
Speaker 1: and then he puts she puts worms in his spaghetti,
Speaker 1: and then he eventually says, you're shrinking. We need a
Speaker 1: stretch shoes. So he ties a million balloons to her
Speaker 1: and then just like sends her off into space. This
Speaker 1: reminds me that Shragonona is a pretty good witchy character.
Speaker 1: Is something I was trying to think of this the
Speaker 1: other day. It's like, because Maven is being a princess
Speaker 1: for Halloween, and I was like, I feel like it's
Speaker 1: hard to get Maven excited about witches because I can't
Speaker 1: think of any good age appropriate media for a three
Speaker 1: year old that is a positive representation of a witch.
Speaker 1: Like there's there's movies for older kids like hocus Pocus
Speaker 1: the Witches, but like that would be too much for
Speaker 1: her to process, too much for me whenever I saw that,
Speaker 1: I just want her to understand how cool witches are.
Speaker 1: I mean, but there's got to be a cartoon. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they are just checking, Uh is there a good good
Speaker 1: witch cartoon? Al Right? This segment is really just listeners
Speaker 1: answer this question. Um what I want to know. What
Speaker 1: is a good book that hits the chexis boxes? Um? Well.
Speaker 1: She also asked for boys who performing emotional labor, which
Speaker 1: I feel like they're definitely probably is some like eighties
Speaker 1: book about a boy like baking a cake with his
Speaker 1: mom or something. You know, Like, I'm sure there's something,
Speaker 1: but I would love that book where that is true
Speaker 1: and it's and it's not even the point of the book,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, that's the that's the best
Speaker 1: case scenario for me. Let let the story be something
Speaker 1: else and just let that be true and the kids
Speaker 1: kids absorb that more because you see the certain books
Speaker 1: that are like this is, this is going to make
Speaker 1: this is the book to make your kids aware about
Speaker 1: social whatever. And they're rarely good books because they're heavy
Speaker 1: handed and they forget to be interesting and characters because
Speaker 1: they don't not to use metaphor. Yeah, but anyway, UM, yeah,
Speaker 1: well I think people should write in and tell us.
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's like thousands of books we fort out
Speaker 1: to mention. Um, we'd be happy to read those next time. Um.
Speaker 1: So yeah, let us know that is not an answer.
Speaker 1: All right, here's another listener note this was actually a
Speaker 1: Facebook comment. Um, this comes to us from Beck's who says, hey, Peter,
Speaker 1: this is in response first of all too something we
Speaker 1: got a remarkable number of emails about, which was are
Speaker 1: not fight about how much peanut butter is acceptable to
Speaker 1: leave in the jar before you throw it away? Um?
Speaker 1: So I threw a jar of peanut butter um that
Speaker 1: had an annoying amount of peanut butter. To try to
Speaker 1: get out. You'd have to get a spatchelor to get
Speaker 1: into it. I didn't think it was worth it. Anyway.
Speaker 1: We talked about it on the podcast. Actually, Beth brought
Speaker 1: it up as as her being proud that she didn't
Speaker 1: bring it up, which I do appreciate it, listener. But
Speaker 1: people wrote in to primarily agree with you because they
Speaker 1: saw the photo evidence thank god I had as I
Speaker 1: was being once again gas lit on this pipe. I'd say,
Speaker 1: if you're crazy enough to write in to tell me
Speaker 1: that there's enough peanut butter, enough, then it's like you're
Speaker 1: also the person that would waste time to Oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that I just installed that. The people that
Speaker 1: emailed in your right to feel the way, thank you
Speaker 1: for validating my feelings. But I'm just all I'm saying
Speaker 1: is the hundreds of people who didn't need to write
Speaker 1: in because they are the same people that would throw
Speaker 1: it away. Oh now, it's the cowards like you, your brethren,
Speaker 1: who couldn't even write in to support you on this,
Speaker 1: the people that have a meek battle, the people that
Speaker 1: have better things to do with their time, and then
Speaker 1: say five cents in peanut butter. Hi, Peter, here's a
Speaker 1: tip for you. Heat up some milk, pour it into
Speaker 1: the jar of empty quote unquote empty peanut butter, Throw
Speaker 1: in some cocoa and your choice of sweetener, pop the
Speaker 1: lid on and shake. Do this over the sink or
Speaker 1: it will explode. Trust me on this one, and bam,
Speaker 1: not only have you made yourself a delicious peanut butter
Speaker 1: hot chocolate, but you've used up all the peanut butter
Speaker 1: in the jar. This also works for Natella, and I'm
Speaker 1: not going to read the last part where she agreed
Speaker 1: with you. I love this tip. I love it as
Speaker 1: much or more I love it, and I want to
Speaker 1: do it. I'm it's taking me so hungry right now.
Speaker 1: I'm so mad that we have two very full jars
Speaker 1: of peanut butter, even more than I could tolerate throwing away.
Speaker 1: We're gonna have to wait. I'm definitely making brain peanut
Speaker 1: butter and jelly sandwiches for the rest of the week.
Speaker 1: Our children will suffer so that we don't have to
Speaker 1: scoop peanut butter into a mug to make this happen.
Speaker 1: But that is another option we could just make that. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: thank you for that tip is right up our alley. Clearly,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go out on a limb here and
Speaker 1: just say that's the best tip I've ever received in
Speaker 1: my entire life. And that's only mildly hyperbolic. I would say.
Speaker 1: It's up there next to her second tip, which is
Speaker 1: you could eat more peanut butter out of the chair.
Speaker 1: Do you think that's second to Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: don't care. I don't actually care. Uh, here's one more
Speaker 1: quick one ready. I love this. You know when you
Speaker 1: listen to a podcast Beth, and you know, the idiots
Speaker 1: talking are like, yeah, you know, like that thing, um,
Speaker 1: oh what's it called? Oh, what's it called? And you're
Speaker 1: at home listening and you're like, it's called this, your idiots.
Speaker 1: It's one of those things. I got to write in.
Speaker 1: Somebody had one of one of those moments, and it
Speaker 1: was about our conversation about uh, books where kids are
Speaker 1: lost in the wilderness. What was the book that the
Speaker 1: subject line of this email is my side of the mountain. Yes,
Speaker 1: my side of the mountain. That's correct. Listening to the
Speaker 1: jet lagged pod, Beth was talking about the kids who
Speaker 1: runaway books and then referred to the boy on the
Speaker 1: side of the mountain who trains a falcon. To be fair,
Speaker 1: I was very jet lagged. Oh no, she's yelling at me. No, Peter,
Speaker 1: not call of the wild my side of the mountain.
Speaker 1: I have a shredded copy from my childhood that my
Speaker 1: mom found in a box of my old things when
Speaker 1: she sent it to me. I spent the afternoon rereading
Speaker 1: it and getting that nostalgic feeling of being a kid
Speaker 1: and fantasyzing, fetishizing would it be like to have them
Speaker 1: all behind? To leave them all behind and make it
Speaker 1: on my own? Oh man, what a great book. It
Speaker 1: is the ultimate kid fantasy that you could just leave
Speaker 1: your whole family, survive on your own, train a peregrine
Speaker 1: falcon to catch food for you on your side of
Speaker 1: the mountain, side of the mountain. Uh, that's what Brand
Speaker 1: thinks when he talks to us. He's like, you idiots,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go live on the mountain. Just give me
Speaker 1: a hatchet and I'll crash in a plane. It really
Speaker 1: warmed my heart to hear the title of the book,
Speaker 1: and I know exactly what she's feeling of, like the
Speaker 1: there's something so satisfying about like training a peregrine falcon,
Speaker 1: or like having your own flipper? What like having your
Speaker 1: own pet the wild animal? That? Yeah, like the TV
Speaker 1: show Flipper that we grew up with, well, our parents
Speaker 1: grew up with it, and then we watched Nick at Knight.
Speaker 1: But yes, we did. Grew up with Flipper. Oh my god, sorry,
Speaker 1: I can't. I can't let a thought go by. You know, Um,
Speaker 1: I never read My Side of the Mountain, but I do.
Speaker 1: You should read it now, you should read It's a Bread.
Speaker 1: Maybe I will. We got to finish the twits. Maybe
Speaker 1: it would make him more into his nature class and
Speaker 1: he would stop sneaking over to cooking. He hates his
Speaker 1: nature class. He had his nature class today and he goes,
Speaker 1: do I have to go to anymore? I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: there's like six more. He's like, I can't believe he
Speaker 1: hates it so much for someone who loves animals with
Speaker 1: every fiber of his being and loves animal facts. Because
Speaker 1: he's not seeing animals, he's just walking in the wood.
Speaker 1: I know. But whoever's running that class, I have to say,
Speaker 1: and I have no idea who you are. I don't
Speaker 1: think you're doing a good job. I don't know who
Speaker 1: you are, and I don't know how hard your time,
Speaker 1: but drop dead. Whoever is running that cooking class that
Speaker 1: Brent crashed Bravo, I have no I have no idea
Speaker 1: what he's doing at nature class. I'm sure it's fine,
Speaker 1: it's it won't tell me. Who knows what's happening, not us.
Speaker 1: We're strangers in our son's life. He's he probably loves
Speaker 1: it when he's there. He's probably like, you're the coolest
Speaker 1: nature leader. Hey, nature leader, you're the coolest. I got
Speaker 1: to get back to school so I can turn you know,
Speaker 1: five o'clock and I can just hate everything again. Well,
Speaker 1: I'm sure when he's at nature class he's like, I
Speaker 1: don't want to go home to my parents. I love it.
Speaker 1: You ever pick him up and he's like, daddy, I
Speaker 1: didn't want you to be here. Now. Do you remember
Speaker 1: last year when he told the pre k teacher he
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I go to two schools because he
Speaker 1: goes to because he went to daycare and pre game.
Speaker 1: And he was like, yeah, a long day. Boy had
Speaker 1: a long day. You know what? I had a long day.
Speaker 1: I had a long day. Should we call it? What's call? This?
Speaker 1: Has been another episode We Knows Parenting. If you would
Speaker 1: like to email us to tell us what book title
Speaker 1: we got wrong, or to suggest a um a book
Speaker 1: where boys do emotional labor or girls get to be
Speaker 1: nasty um, you can email us at we Knows pot
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com or leave us a voicemail at
Speaker 1: three four seven three eight four three uh seven three uh?
Speaker 1: Did we already do this? Can? You can find us
Speaker 1: on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, at we knows Pod. Leave us
Speaker 1: a review and a rating and you want to say
Speaker 1: out this got me pregnant? Or what's what should be
Speaker 1: the new thing? Beth? I flipp in love this podcast.
Speaker 1: I flipping lood love this. I flipp in love you guys,
Speaker 1: See you next week. Bye,