Speaker 1: Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
Speaker 1: the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats
Speaker 1: crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
Speaker 1: hill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of Hot takes
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now night. We're back at it again.
Speaker 1: It is the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller, back because
Speaker 1: four hours on the overnight are not enough. We are
Speaker 1: in the air everywhere the vast power of the I
Speaker 1: Heart podcast network, in the global reach of podcasts that
Speaker 1: you can get this. As you know, because you found
Speaker 1: the podcast, you are in the one percent that listen
Speaker 1: to this podcast. This is like a test, the litmus
Speaker 1: test for the super fans of the show that not
Speaker 1: only listened during the week, but then on the weekends,
Speaker 1: even a holiday weekend. Download the podcast. You've gone above
Speaker 1: and beyond the call of duty. And we are back
Speaker 1: again with David Gascon noticed Jaggon affectionately in the building.
Speaker 1: My phone. Every once in a while I will have
Speaker 1: to call David Gascon and my phone in the car
Speaker 1: will say, David gas Can is how you are my
Speaker 1: My car calls you David Gascon. Uh. But we're back.
Speaker 1: It would be nice if we were at a higher
Speaker 1: percentage of listeners than one percent. But you have taken
Speaker 1: days off from work, you have spent days away from
Speaker 1: the studio. You have dogged this podcast. So it has
Speaker 1: been all upon my shoulders to trying to promote this
Speaker 1: with the uh with the effects of zero marketing tools
Speaker 1: and zero support from everywhere else, um your channels, the
Speaker 1: core uper channels. But yeah, I'd like to get these
Speaker 1: numbers to a hire a benchmark by the turn of
Speaker 1: I don't know if you can make that happen, but
Speaker 1: we need a little bit more effort from you. Uh.
Speaker 1: So if we can do that, I greatly appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Since we are on the come of Thanksgiving Day, well,
Speaker 1: you know, I do appreciate the candor. And this podcast
Speaker 1: is actually on Black Friday. We're doing this on Black Friday,
Speaker 1: gustcons So I don't know if you're aware of that,
Speaker 1: but this is also I want to be very clear here.
Speaker 1: People say I'm not charitable, This is a simple act
Speaker 1: of charity. This podcast we are. I'm a man of
Speaker 1: the people now gascons, now not gascons and elite is
Speaker 1: he lives near the Pacific Ocean. I do not live
Speaker 1: near the Pacific Ocean. I live in England, all right.
Speaker 1: So but this is a pro bono situation here, this
Speaker 1: is a kindness of my heart. We are doing this
Speaker 1: podcast for the super fans of the show, and I
Speaker 1: know you hate the fans of the show. By the way, Gascon,
Speaker 1: before we get started, you did you hear the other
Speaker 1: night is in Houston called up and just slayed you.
Speaker 1: Did you hear him just annihilate you because of this podcast? No?
Speaker 1: I did not, and UM actually appalled that you'd put
Speaker 1: a coward like that on on your radio, on a
Speaker 1: national show across the United States and overseas. You would
Speaker 1: put a turd of a human being on your radio
Speaker 1: show like that. That's that's more of an indictment on
Speaker 1: you than it is to have that guy on the radio.
Speaker 1: So you should be apologizing for having him that kind
Speaker 1: of filth and slop on the radio. I don't know
Speaker 1: what he said, I don't care what he said. I
Speaker 1: will let me open up a bag since you have
Speaker 1: as well, because I got this great email this morning
Speaker 1: at three o'clock while your show is wrapping up. And
Speaker 1: Jesse had said he he wanted to repeat what he
Speaker 1: has told you reportedly, but he thinks the chemistry between
Speaker 1: me and you is tremendous. Uh. He wanted to thank
Speaker 1: me personally for all the work that I have put
Speaker 1: into this podcast. Uh. And he thinks it's uh, it
Speaker 1: thinks it's a thing of beauty. So I don't care
Speaker 1: about Chris and he, well, he's being polite and uh
Speaker 1: and by the way, gasco on you, I don't know
Speaker 1: if you know the podcasting rules. I'll have to detect
Speaker 1: them to you. But that what you've just just done
Speaker 1: is a breach of decorum. You have violated podcast etiquette
Speaker 1: one oh one, these social norms of podcasting here. You
Speaker 1: do not let me. You do not slay the people
Speaker 1: that actually download the podcast. You just said we don't
Speaker 1: have enough people downloading the podcast. And now you are
Speaker 1: offending the people that are listening to this podcast. What
Speaker 1: you do you really do you really think people are
Speaker 1: offended by me calling out Chris, because I will think
Speaker 1: to differ. I think they are encouraged by that. I
Speaker 1: think they're applauding that I think they're happy about it. Well, listen, yeah,
Speaker 1: let me tell you something. Chris and Houston is good
Speaker 1: for the radio show. He's uh, he'said. Um how dingle Berry,
Speaker 1: I guess is the word I would descot, but a fun,
Speaker 1: lovable dingleberry. He's like a PR guy for all those
Speaker 1: Houston sports teams. I get a kick out of him.
Speaker 1: He makes me look good because I'm right every time,
Speaker 1: much like I do the show with you. You make
Speaker 1: me look good because I'm always right and you're always wrong.
Speaker 1: It's one. Well, that's that's my job is to make
Speaker 1: you look good. And technically speaking, if you want to
Speaker 1: be specific with this, if we're talking about customers, shouldn't
Speaker 1: they be paying us or should we be competent in
Speaker 1: some kind of way for services rendered? Um, that's what
Speaker 1: that's what that's like. Now you're now, you're now, Now
Speaker 1: you're quoting William Shatner. Now William Shatner and eighty five
Speaker 1: year old actors who you're quoting? All right? Be sure
Speaker 1: to catch live editions of The Ben Miller Show week
Speaker 1: days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox
Speaker 1: Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Let's Get
Speaker 1: to the menu here, it's the b Strow is open
Speaker 1: for business. It's the fifth hour coming up. We're gonna
Speaker 1: have Matt the mallard Man March, the plot twist, the handbook,
Speaker 1: too lazy Thanksgiving radio study this and also we'll have
Speaker 1: it's in the bag and don't stick the sports stories
Speaker 1: of the week. All of that coming your way right now.
Speaker 1: But we'll begin with the mallard Man March. Now you're
Speaker 1: you're gonnaware of this guest gone because you're you're not
Speaker 1: one of the cool kids. But on the radio show,
Speaker 1: we have started a movement in the Pacific Northwest. The
Speaker 1: super fans of the show, the p Ones, are holding
Speaker 1: the first ever Mallard Man March, which is gonna be
Speaker 1: taking place in late December. Have you heard about the
Speaker 1: mallard Man March, Gascon No, I I have not. There
Speaker 1: are rumblings that you can be traveling to a far
Speaker 1: distant land, but no, uh tell me all about it. Well,
Speaker 1: December twenty nine is actually the date. It's right before
Speaker 1: New Years and that Sunday, December twenty night, right before
Speaker 1: the Seahawks play the forty Niners in a key NFC
Speaker 1: West slobber Knocker ed in Spokane and Christina from Spokane
Speaker 1: are gonna make the trip over to Seattle. And they
Speaker 1: they were the ones that started this. This was their baby,
Speaker 1: a Mallard man march. They're gonna stand outside the stadium
Speaker 1: and uh and Jay Scoop, the great back to back
Speaker 1: talent show winner. Our friend Jay Scoop is involved in this.
Speaker 1: And the Mallard Militia men and women are gonna stand
Speaker 1: out in front of the stadium and march around holding signs.
Speaker 1: They've got a born shouting slogans to get people to
Speaker 1: listen to the show. Uh and and and spread the
Speaker 1: love of the radio show to the Seahawk and forty
Speaker 1: Niner fans. And how off the hook is this going
Speaker 1: to be a guest And this is going to be
Speaker 1: an amazing event that any one within reasonable driving distance
Speaker 1: should go to. Like for p Ones, this is gonna
Speaker 1: be forget Woodstock, this is like mallar Stock is what
Speaker 1: this is gonna be. And there's even rumors that Blind Scott,
Speaker 1: who's not geographically desirable to get to Seattle, could make
Speaker 1: the trip. He's threatening to fly in from Boston to
Speaker 1: be part of this event. This is how this is
Speaker 1: a big f and deal gas gun. I guess the
Speaker 1: biggest question with all of this, then, is that while
Speaker 1: these people will be an attendance, will you actually be
Speaker 1: an attendance. Well, I'm glad you brought that up, because
Speaker 1: that is the plot twist, that's the second act in
Speaker 1: this particular play. Now, I was originally debating whether or
Speaker 1: not to go to Seattle. I haven't been to Seattle
Speaker 1: in a number of years. But as you know, I
Speaker 1: had a very serious medical situation. I was in the
Speaker 1: hospital for a week. I had my gall bladder chopped
Speaker 1: out of me. No sympathy from you. I was on
Speaker 1: my deathbed. I mean, you're going to a surgery. You
Speaker 1: could die when you go into surgery. I was amazingly
Speaker 1: able to survive because I've got superman like skills. Uh.
Speaker 1: So I got out of the surgery, are right? And
Speaker 1: uh And I was like, well, maybe I shouldn't go
Speaker 1: to Seattle because you know, it's the medical bills and whatnot.
Speaker 1: Even though I have pretty good insurance, you know, there's
Speaker 1: some bills, there's some other stuff's popped up here, so
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't go. And you know, it's it's a fair
Speaker 1: amount of money to travel Seattle. Well, Jay Scoop has
Speaker 1: stepped up and he says, the Seattle chamber of the
Speaker 1: Mallard Militia has decided they want to fly. They want
Speaker 1: to they want to fly into the Emerald City for
Speaker 1: this event. Now, I gotta tell you guesscan At first
Speaker 1: I thought this was bullshit, right um. In fact, you
Speaker 1: know he he said it on the show. I said,
Speaker 1: now come on, you guys, you know you know what
Speaker 1: it's gonna do that. Uh, But he emailed me and
Speaker 1: Jay Scoop, you know, he he could be pulling my
Speaker 1: chain here. This could all be a scam, a practical joke,
Speaker 1: a gag, whatever. But it certainly sounds legit, and if
Speaker 1: it is legit offer I am seriously considering making the
Speaker 1: pilgrimage to Seattle for Mallard's stock, which is I'm excited about.
Speaker 1: We did one of these in Boston back in April
Speaker 1: at the Cask and Flagging right across from Finway, and
Speaker 1: we had people from uh different countries. We had, uh,
Speaker 1: our guy from Toronto drove guy from Florida drove up.
Speaker 1: We had somebody from I think it was Ohio. So
Speaker 1: we we had people from all over the and all
Speaker 1: the New England states where they're awesome. So you are,
Speaker 1: you're whoring yourself out to listeners to visit their city.
Speaker 1: This is what it's coming down to. I am making
Speaker 1: dreams come true Gascon. I am shaking hands, I am
Speaker 1: kissing babies. I am giving photo ops for Instagram. Uh
Speaker 1: that is going. And unlike you, I believe in customer service.
Speaker 1: I believe in customer services. If this is what the
Speaker 1: people want, I will give them what they want. Uh.
Speaker 1: And as I said, I've done a few of these
Speaker 1: things over the years. Randomly did one in Pittsburgh, we
Speaker 1: did one in in Buffalo, we did one in Syracuse.
Speaker 1: Um so we We've done them in a few cities.
Speaker 1: And then I've actually had a good time, even on
Speaker 1: an introvert, I've really had a good time meeting people.
Speaker 1: I know you you think that everyone's below you and
Speaker 1: a peasant guest gun, but I do not. I appreciate
Speaker 1: the people that listen to the Magic Radio Box. I
Speaker 1: want to tell you that the last time I was
Speaker 1: in Seattle had a wonderful time. I was actually traveling
Speaker 1: with the Dodgers. They played the Mariners. Uh there and
Speaker 1: uh A Rod was still on the Mariners and the Sonics.
Speaker 1: They they still existed the Seattle superside. So it's been
Speaker 1: it's been a fair amount of time. That has been
Speaker 1: a long time. Now. What happens if you get I mean,
Speaker 1: think about this for a second. You I assume you've
Speaker 1: watched the movie Braveheart. Correct, Yeah, long long time ago
Speaker 1: when it was a movie. I watched it. Yeah, alright, alright,
Speaker 1: bring that up because of this. What happens if you
Speaker 1: decide to go to Seattle, you enjoy your time so
Speaker 1: much that someone, let's say in Houston, decides to invite
Speaker 1: you down or maybe to Phoenix. They invite you down
Speaker 1: to Arizona and it turns into one of those situations
Speaker 1: where they invite you in they want to wine and
Speaker 1: dine you and to trap you. You got to smell
Speaker 1: the ambush. What happens if you get you see a
Speaker 1: herd of you know, Kyler Murray or Deshaun Watson, famboys.
Speaker 1: I just want to lts you. They want to ambush you.
Speaker 1: So they they see that you're whoaring yourself out, they
Speaker 1: invite you to their hometowns and then let you have it.
Speaker 1: You're you're rolling to the Pacific Northwest without a security detail.
Speaker 1: Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller
Speaker 1: Show week day, said two am eastern pm Pacific. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm wishing you the best. I'm a little fearful for
Speaker 1: your your safe. But you know what, it kind of
Speaker 1: just cased with the this is a great way to
Speaker 1: close out in twenty nineteen. The body of the tongue,
Speaker 1: the gall bladder, the busted car um, anything else that
Speaker 1: might that might pile up on the on the infirmary reports. Uh,
Speaker 1: don't don't forget. Working with you is also a setback
Speaker 1: in my career. I was in respected radio personality overnight
Speaker 1: and my my public perception has gone down. Having to
Speaker 1: do this podcast with you hasn't really Yes, I am
Speaker 1: thought of in a lesser light because of you. Many
Speaker 1: people would like to duct tape your mouth shut. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you know that, guests Scott Well, I
Speaker 1: I get a little bit of that, but I think
Speaker 1: it goes with the territory. Uh, this is a mob
Speaker 1: rule at times on Twitter. I know that you have
Speaker 1: suffered that that kind of uh, that kind of retaliation
Speaker 1: and that kind of betrayal from from Twitter followers. So
Speaker 1: I think it just comes with the territory. You can't
Speaker 1: be you can't be loved by all. You're like a
Speaker 1: low level batman villain is what you are, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, You're you're in that You're like a
Speaker 1: nefarious character on the show. And when you talk, it's
Speaker 1: like it's an ominous thing when you talk. Now, you
Speaker 1: always The great thing about Gascon is that, like, unlike
Speaker 1: most people who do this for a living, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: you get a million people that compliment you, and you
Speaker 1: only worry about the people that are negative. Right, You
Speaker 1: get like, you know, thousands of exaggerate even people said
Speaker 1: mostly positive things, but there's always like one schmuck, one
Speaker 1: dick that sends something negative and then you obsessed with
Speaker 1: that one person. Gascon's the opposite, Like you will forward
Speaker 1: me positive messages, like you get three or four people
Speaker 1: that love you, and you will take screenshots and you
Speaker 1: will send those to me. I mean, what a what
Speaker 1: a narcissist, What an absolute narcissist you are? Control. I
Speaker 1: try to live in a positive world where it's all
Speaker 1: about positive reinforcement and appreciation for what we do every day.
Speaker 1: So I don't live in the the negativity of the dark Cloud.
Speaker 1: That is the Ben Mallay Show overnights. So that's part
Speaker 1: of the luxury of only performing during the daytime. So
Speaker 1: I'm happy to do that, and they given times, so
Speaker 1: I appreciate the love it again. Yeah, you're like, you
Speaker 1: know what the strip club. If you go to the
Speaker 1: strip the ballet during the day, that's where the ugly
Speaker 1: strippers are. The good looking ones work at night because
Speaker 1: that's where the money's made at night. And uh so
Speaker 1: you're like the daytime strippers what you are? Yeah, but
Speaker 1: see they usually yeah, but they usually serve some pretty
Speaker 1: good chili during the middle of the day and some
Speaker 1: decent drinks. Uh, you can get some time, if you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Yeah, I just want to I
Speaker 1: want to eat some chili at the ballet as well.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to the Handbook of Lazy Thanksgiving Radio. Now,
Speaker 1: this is something I've usually do on the radio show,
Speaker 1: and I referenced it, but I feel like on the
Speaker 1: podcast we have more time and we can expand on
Speaker 1: the Handbook of Lazy Thanksgiving Radio. So I realized that
Speaker 1: this podcast has dropped after Thanksgiving, but this will continue.
Speaker 1: I've learned over the entire Thanksgiving weekend. These things tend
Speaker 1: to happen. Uh So it's not like they all of
Speaker 1: a sudden go away just because Thanksgivings over and it's
Speaker 1: Black Friday or college Football Saturday, or or the NFL
Speaker 1: on Sunday. Now, to me, and I'm a big critic,
Speaker 1: I love radio. It's an art and audio art. It's
Speaker 1: a disposable form of art. When done right, I believe
Speaker 1: talk radio is the greatest form of entertainment there is.
Speaker 1: When done wrong, it is the single worst thing in
Speaker 1: the world. There is no worse entertainment than bad talk radio.
Speaker 1: So I want to help my my friends out to
Speaker 1: do this for a living. So the worst of the
Speaker 1: worst come out thanks Giving weekend, guestcout. So this is
Speaker 1: my public service announcement to try to help you avoid
Speaker 1: listening to inferior and shoddy sports talk radio over the
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving holidays. To understand, guess now you're probably part of
Speaker 1: this um. But I want the listeners to be discerning customers.
Speaker 1: All right, do you know what that means, guesstcon discerning customer.
Speaker 1: That means you don't have to buy everything you pick
Speaker 1: and choose what you buy, right, Well, that's the world
Speaker 1: we live in now, it's all about all a cart
Speaker 1: purchasing for drinks, for food, for entertainment, for shows, for
Speaker 1: TV shows, and of course for radio. That's right. So
Speaker 1: here are some of the topics, but not all that
Speaker 1: will show the person you're listening to in the radio
Speaker 1: magic radio box is a lazy ass who didn't do
Speaker 1: any show prep over the holiday weekend. All right. This
Speaker 1: is some of the actual talk. Now. I have not
Speaker 1: done these. I've heard other people do these over the years. Uh.
Speaker 1: The biggest sin is the talk shows that says, what
Speaker 1: are you thankful for? In sports? Over Thanksgiving weekend? This
Speaker 1: is a son This is an evergreen cliche topic. What
Speaker 1: do you thankful for? You know what I'm thankful for.
Speaker 1: I don't have to listen to some dumb talk show
Speaker 1: host asked me what I'm thankful for? That's what I'm
Speaker 1: thankful for? All right? Ridiculous? Now you heard you heard
Speaker 1: a lot of this. Uh happened last year when I
Speaker 1: was on a specific show that correct Or was it
Speaker 1: two years ago? Oh no, no, this goes on. I've
Speaker 1: heard this for years. Uh how about this one? Who's
Speaker 1: the biggest turkey in sports? That's uh, that's a play on.
Speaker 1: That's the other the end of the yang. Right, you
Speaker 1: have what do you thankful for? Well, who's the bad guy?
Speaker 1: Who's the turkey game? Sports? You know? And uh that
Speaker 1: that's always amusing. Uh here's one which it crosses over. Now,
Speaker 1: next month we'll do the Handbook to Lazy Christmas Radio
Speaker 1: and this will be part of that as well. Who
Speaker 1: would you like to invite to Thanksgiving dinner? Right? That's
Speaker 1: that's you. Who do you invite? It's just so stupid.
Speaker 1: And then usually always bleeds over to will name somebody
Speaker 1: that's either dead or alive that you'd like to have
Speaker 1: a Thanksgiving dinner too? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, And and and
Speaker 1: then and then you the playoff that is you spur.
Speaker 1: You know they have they have thing called the topic
Speaker 1: tree where you start out with the topic and then
Speaker 1: you have these branches to the topic tree. I learned
Speaker 1: that from an old program Dart to the Great Mike
Speaker 1: Thompson back in the day. But uh, you say, well,
Speaker 1: you begin with the Lazy Handbook to Sports Radio as
Speaker 1: you start out by saying who would you invite to
Speaker 1: thanks for Giving dinner? And then you say, all right,
Speaker 1: you've invited these people to thanks for giving dinner? Who
Speaker 1: gets extra helping suppie? Who gets extra helping PI? Have
Speaker 1: you have you ever been stuck on a show that
Speaker 1: is had a host lead that way into a segment. Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: very early in my career when I was doing local
Speaker 1: video in San Diego and then at the sports station
Speaker 1: in in l A. I was like the number two
Speaker 1: guy working my way up, and I had to work
Speaker 1: with some guys that were blatant abusers of this, and Uh,
Speaker 1: you could tell they just rolled out of bed. They
Speaker 1: figured out, no one's listening. It's Thanksgiving, and I I
Speaker 1: find that more people actually listen on the holiday. I
Speaker 1: know that goes against popular opinion, but uh, people are
Speaker 1: oftentimes they're they're with family, they want to get away,
Speaker 1: they're driving around to the store to buy something or whatever.
Speaker 1: And so I find the audience is pretty big on
Speaker 1: on these holidays. And I've had Christmas shows where I've
Speaker 1: had full calls. Not that that's a great judge of things,
Speaker 1: but there's people who want to be part of the
Speaker 1: show that call up the entire night. So you've you've
Speaker 1: got that as well. Uh. And one other thing to
Speaker 1: the Handbook of Lazy Sports Radio Uh, you've you've got
Speaker 1: the thanks Giving weekend draft, have you? This is hacked
Speaker 1: radio is what this is. If you do, I've been
Speaker 1: a part of it. I have. I have reluctantly to
Speaker 1: admit it, but I have been a part of it
Speaker 1: on several occasions. Yeah. So when you do the Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: weekend draft, you've got the turkey, the stuffing, the sweet potato,
Speaker 1: the pumpkin pie, football, cranberry sauce, You've got ham and
Speaker 1: whatever else you want to throw out there. Uh, and
Speaker 1: and then you rank them. It's just it's it's list
Speaker 1: radio something gascon and it was ago and that's also
Speaker 1: lame and dumb and and lazy and and all that.
Speaker 1: And so anyway, listen, if you hear these and fractions,
Speaker 1: please report them to the proper authorities, which would be me. Uh,
Speaker 1: and we will, we will adjudicate the guilty. And I'm
Speaker 1: sure no one at Fox Sports Radio will do these
Speaker 1: things or has done these things, because we're the number
Speaker 1: one sports radio network in America. Never would that happen.
Speaker 1: What if it does happen here on the podcast, guest gon,
Speaker 1: we will expose these people. Now what happened? Because you're
Speaker 1: not known to take shots at other colleagues within the building. Um,
Speaker 1: but I certainly am so if that does happened, how
Speaker 1: do we report this and how do we bring this
Speaker 1: to life for the audience so people will send them
Speaker 1: into me? And since you're the conceded narcissist and you're pretentious,
Speaker 1: we will allow you to to announce the guilty. Okay,
Speaker 1: that way, I have plausible in the ability and I
Speaker 1: can say that I had nothing to do with this,
Speaker 1: and then you're the fall guy. Well you just acknowledge
Speaker 1: right now though, that you're gonna get the intel and
Speaker 1: pass it along to me. Yeah, but I just also
Speaker 1: announced that maybe I won't do it. I don't know
Speaker 1: for sure than them to do it. I mean I
Speaker 1: might do it, maybe I won't do it. Maybe you'll
Speaker 1: come up with it on your own. Well you know
Speaker 1: that that is a good idea. I think we will.
Speaker 1: We will, Yeah, we'll florrow John, and I will definitely report.
Speaker 1: As this weekend concludes, Fox Sports Radio has the best
Speaker 1: sports talk lineup in the NATIONA catch all of our
Speaker 1: shows at Fox sports Radio dot com and within the
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app search f s R to listen live.
Speaker 1: All Right, the train keeps moving gas, John too to
Speaker 1: study this. Now, these are actual studies from actual universities.
Speaker 1: Most of these are from universities, some of them are
Speaker 1: from businesses. But the way this works is we do
Speaker 1: study this. Is it real or bullshit? It's very simple.
Speaker 1: So we'll just read one line out of these studies
Speaker 1: and then we'll determine just on one sentence, one sentence,
Speaker 1: whether or not we believe this or not. The first
Speaker 1: one up, there's a survey that was done so not
Speaker 1: a study, a survey gascund m H and it says
Speaker 1: holiday spending, we'll leave more than a quarter of Americans,
Speaker 1: over twenty of Americans in debt. That today, on Black
Speaker 1: Friday and this weekend of uh of spending and excess
Speaker 1: and all that that more than of people who were
Speaker 1: not in debt prior to this weekend will be in
Speaker 1: debt by the time the Christmas Hanaka holidays come around.
Speaker 1: You believe this or you don't believe. I believe, I believe.
Speaker 1: What about you? I won thousand percent believe it. And
Speaker 1: as someone that used to be in the real estate industry,
Speaker 1: I will tell you that most Americans don't have six
Speaker 1: months worth of pity. And if you don't know what
Speaker 1: that is. That's principles principle and interest taxes that insure its.
Speaker 1: And you don't have six months of savings in your
Speaker 1: bank account. Most people do not. They're living almost paycheck
Speaker 1: to paycheck, and they like to, uh like the splurge
Speaker 1: a little bit during the holiday season, especially with Black Friday,
Speaker 1: the online holiday specials with Amazon and all the other outlets.
Speaker 1: So I wan thousand percent believe it. Yeah, I do too,
Speaker 1: And I mean that's part of it. I think the
Speaker 1: second thing to touch up your work here is that
Speaker 1: people have no self control, right they see a great deal,
Speaker 1: they can't They're like, oh, I got to get this,
Speaker 1: I need this. Uh, and so that's that's another part
Speaker 1: of the puzzle there. But yeah, I believe that. Here's
Speaker 1: another one. Let's see, I got should we I've had
Speaker 1: a lot of Thanksgiving related stories here. Uh you know
Speaker 1: it's it's not because when I was growing up, my
Speaker 1: mom's favorite food was turkey, so we had Thanksgiving pretty
Speaker 1: much every month at the Mallard Mansion meeting. My mom
Speaker 1: would make some kind of turkey dish. She loved turkey.
Speaker 1: So I eat so much turkey. I feel like I've
Speaker 1: eaten a lifetime supply of turkey when I was growing
Speaker 1: up at the patriarch of the Mallard Empire there at
Speaker 1: the Maule, the original Mallard manager mansion, the O. G.
Speaker 1: Mallard Mansion. So like, I don't even eat. Uh. First
Speaker 1: of all, I don't really celebrate Thanksgiving all that much.
Speaker 1: I go to the in laws with my wife. But uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm always working on Thanksgiving. But I I'm
Speaker 1: not that I hate turkey. I but I I eat
Speaker 1: other stuff I got. My My inlaws are Italians, so
Speaker 1: they have pasta and stuff. So I'll eat some pasta
Speaker 1: and some other stuff and and I'm good. Yeah. But
Speaker 1: what but if you're talking about Thanksgiving meals, like what
Speaker 1: about ham mashed potatoes? Um? Yeah, well now we're doing
Speaker 1: a cliche Thanksgiving radio, which is what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: avoid here. But but no, I mean I don't mind.
Speaker 1: Who doesn't like mashed potatoes or mac and cheese and
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. That's all. That's all good, all right?
Speaker 1: Moving on a family fatigue. What percentage of young people
Speaker 1: prefer friends Giving to Thanksgiving? What do you think? What
Speaker 1: the number is here? According to a study, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: You're low. Believe it or not, Seven intense se of
Speaker 1: young people would rather have friends giving than Thanksgiving. Now
Speaker 1: is this real? Bullshit? I think this is real. And
Speaker 1: I got a theory on it that you know, your
Speaker 1: family judges you more than your friends, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like like, I remember, you know, obviously I'm
Speaker 1: older than than you know, allegedly older than some some
Speaker 1: other people here. But but but I remember when I
Speaker 1: was younger and I'd go to family events, whether it
Speaker 1: was weddings or bar mitzvah's or whatever, and over the holidays,
Speaker 1: and people would always why don't you have a girlfriend?
Speaker 1: What are you doing for work? You should get a
Speaker 1: better job, you know, should get a real job. Radio
Speaker 1: is not a real job. You know, you're never gonna
Speaker 1: make it in radio. Why do you become a lawyer
Speaker 1: or a doctor like that? You know what. So, but
Speaker 1: around my friends, they never did any of that stuff,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. They don't really care whatever.
Speaker 1: So I think that's still the case with most people.
Speaker 1: So you hang out with your friends, you don't have
Speaker 1: your that annoying aunt or uncle that's up in your business,
Speaker 1: you know, and busting your chops about stuff, so I
Speaker 1: think it should be part of it. I agree with you.
Speaker 1: I also think more so now than ever, is because
Speaker 1: the political climate that we're in now is that young
Speaker 1: people spend less time with their family and more time
Speaker 1: with their friends because they don't want to be caught
Speaker 1: in those kind of big political talks and conversations where
Speaker 1: there's a disconnect between older people and young people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's by by some Well, also get where you get
Speaker 1: dragged into the political conversations. That's always a problem. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just want to go back to the previous story
Speaker 1: we had, which was, you know, traditional Thanksgiving food. People
Speaker 1: are tired of it. So I have some more numbers
Speaker 1: to back that up. Uh. There they did every state
Speaker 1: by state? Here, what how many states? What? What food
Speaker 1: was the least popular? All the different we're talking about
Speaker 1: a side dish or the main event here by state. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say the least popular is
Speaker 1: actually turkey. No, uh, it's actually cranberry sauce is in
Speaker 1: seventeen states they voted cranberry sauce the least popular, green
Speaker 1: bean casserole least popular. Unfortunately, I never had experience a
Speaker 1: green being casserole at my thanks Giving a growing up,
Speaker 1: so I'd have to worry about that and believe it
Speaker 1: or not, in three states they hated turkey and pumpkin pie.
Speaker 1: Not not popular. There you go. How about this one?
Speaker 1: This is a play on the whole. There's so many
Speaker 1: these studies about Thanksgiving. Here's another one. New study shows
Speaker 1: that one in four people have hidden from their family
Speaker 1: at a relative's house. True Thanksgiving, You've gone into like
Speaker 1: one of the bedrooms or the bathroom or whatever and
Speaker 1: try to get away from relatives. Maybe because it's people
Speaker 1: forget their names too. I've been a new family events
Speaker 1: through functions where I just forget people's names. I haven't
Speaker 1: seen them in years, decades, whatever it may be. I
Speaker 1: flat out forget who these people are. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: well that's true. Yeah. And then the worst thing is,
Speaker 1: you know, especially when you're young, like a kid, and
Speaker 1: you've got a lot of relatives because they haven't started
Speaker 1: dying off there, and they all know, they all know
Speaker 1: all your business, right, they all know everything about you,
Speaker 1: and you know thing about them. They're just like someone
Speaker 1: you see like once or twice a year, and they're
Speaker 1: kind of creepy and a little scary, and you're like,
Speaker 1: what the hell? You know? What the f alright, um,
Speaker 1: moving on, let's see here, let's try to get away
Speaker 1: from this Thanksgiving stuff. Well, actually I got one more
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving a story, then we get something else. Uh. The
Speaker 1: weekend after Thanksgiving typically the busiest shopping time of the year.
Speaker 1: We know that, but a new study says that Cyber
Speaker 1: Monday is actually gonna be the biggest shopping day out
Speaker 1: of the whole holiday weekend. That people are gonna be
Speaker 1: waiting until Monday to get those deals on Amazon and
Speaker 1: all the other websites that are out there. Uh. And
Speaker 1: and I I buy this. I don't think this is
Speaker 1: bullshit because it's just easier. It's just easier to to
Speaker 1: do it, and you don't have to worry about the
Speaker 1: hustle and bustle when you go out to the mall
Speaker 1: and all that. I think that makes sense. I think
Speaker 1: the closest comparison since the majority of people that listen
Speaker 1: to your show on this podcast or or men, it's
Speaker 1: like going to an athletic event as opposed to staying
Speaker 1: home and watching them on TV. Like would you rather
Speaker 1: go to an NFL game or stay at home? Where
Speaker 1: beer is payings on the dollar compared to a sixteen
Speaker 1: dollars beer at the ballpark or at the stadium. Parking
Speaker 1: is twenty dollars and thirty dollars. There's traffic, there's congestion,
Speaker 1: there's drunk people everywhere. If you do it on Amazon,
Speaker 1: you get free shipping if you get a certain dollar amount,
Speaker 1: usually a threshold of a hundred dollars. You don't have
Speaker 1: to worry about driving, you don't have to worry about parking,
Speaker 1: you don't have to worry about the congestion. You can
Speaker 1: pick and choose what you want, and then if you
Speaker 1: need to, you can re send the order back to
Speaker 1: exchange it for something else. It's just the easiest way
Speaker 1: to go about business these days. So I'm gonna interst
Speaker 1: an agreement on that. Yeah, I mean, occasionally we'll go
Speaker 1: out on Black Friday and like you buy a TV
Speaker 1: or something, because often sometimes we'll only have the deals
Speaker 1: at stores Costco. Right, Yeah, Costco has got some deals
Speaker 1: going on, and uh a little. Costco traditionally hasn't gone
Speaker 1: that little. Their prices are already low, so they don't
Speaker 1: usually go that much lower. Uh. You see plays like Walmart,
Speaker 1: Best buy places like that that my experiences they go
Speaker 1: much lower. Speaking of gifts, Uh, here here's here's a
Speaker 1: good one. Uh. Have you ever Well, you don't really
Speaker 1: have a significant other, but you know dating, so I'm
Speaker 1: sure you're dating somebody. Maybe I don't know. But if
Speaker 1: you're with someone, have you gotten a gift for someone? Uh,
Speaker 1: it's called a we gift, meaning that you're you're giving
Speaker 1: someone a gift, but it's really for your benefit. Also,
Speaker 1: I've ever done that lingerie? All right? So yeahrights, you've
Speaker 1: done it with you love the lingerie. So you've done
Speaker 1: it with lingerie. Everybody love lingerie. You know, I'm fine.
Speaker 1: I think you know. I've been love waits for more
Speaker 1: for women and it's for dudes. I mean, guys would
Speaker 1: be happy for wearing anything. If you're a beautiful woman, right,
Speaker 1: it doesn't know what you're wearing. It's more for the
Speaker 1: woman than it is the guy. The guys are guys
Speaker 1: are pretty simple and its only even naked or almost
Speaker 1: naked that guys are happy generally outside outside of lingree,
Speaker 1: I've done I've done alcohol, and I've done plane tickets. Wow,
Speaker 1: you have purchased plane tickets for Wow? That is that's
Speaker 1: the next level. Uh it's just once a year. What's
Speaker 1: wrong with you? You You cheap pastor? Alright, So what percentage
Speaker 1: of Americans have purchased a wee gift for someone? I
Speaker 1: think it's low. I think it's like ten percent. You
Speaker 1: you could not be more wrong. It is almost seventy
Speaker 1: five percent. Seventy four percent of Americans, according to the survey,
Speaker 1: have purchased a wee gift for someone on their listening.
Speaker 1: I I have done this, but since I got married,
Speaker 1: you know, we we we usually we were bought like
Speaker 1: one thing a year generally because it's boring growing up
Speaker 1: stuff to like improve the house, like last last last year,
Speaker 1: we gotta dishwasher the year before, I think we gotta
Speaker 1: washer and drier situation. So it's usually something along those lines,
Speaker 1: or will update one of the TVs or something like that.
Speaker 1: So we'll do like one we gift and that's it.
Speaker 1: We don't exchange other gifts. That's that's all. So I
Speaker 1: guess with that being said, I'll pose this question too, though.
Speaker 1: Is that more of a selfish president or a self
Speaker 1: less present? Because I think it goes both ways. I
Speaker 1: think it's a selfless because, uh, you know who gets
Speaker 1: excited about a goddamn dishwasher? Okay, I mean, I mean,
Speaker 1: how boring is it? You know, you're purchasing a dishwasher. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's the help the family, right, the people in the household,
Speaker 1: and help have clean dishes, and so you don't get
Speaker 1: some nasty disease from you know, your dog looking the plate,
Speaker 1: not washing it at a high enough temperature and stuff,
Speaker 1: so you get some some dog related illness that you're
Speaker 1: get and all that. So it's something you sound very
Speaker 1: domesticated as opposed to me being the alley cat. So
Speaker 1: uh yeah, well and it only took a couple of years.
Speaker 1: It only took a couple of years to do that. Well, gascon,
Speaker 1: you're a big drunk and you're a drunkard, so this
Speaker 1: is good for you. The ideal hangover cure. This is
Speaker 1: from the Journal of Current Research in Food Science. Do
Speaker 1: you know what the ideal hangover curious? I'm about to
Speaker 1: give it out here. On the alcohol just more alcohol. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you never stopped drinking, you can't, yeah, uh no, uh.
Speaker 1: The the hangover cure is coconut water, hair and lime.
Speaker 1: According to this study, researchers say the mix is even
Speaker 1: more effective when you supplemented with a nice plate of
Speaker 1: cheese and a tomato with a cue comb. But that
Speaker 1: sounds disgusting. So you gotta drink coconut water, pear and lime,
Speaker 1: but then mix it the cheese. I don't mind, but
Speaker 1: to make you know, and cucumber, that's disgusting. I only
Speaker 1: for hangovers. The only drink PDA light. I'll have you know,
Speaker 1: in those packets from Costco or Walmarrow, Gorat some some
Speaker 1: Peta lights or some drip drop. It's a powder. You
Speaker 1: put it in the water. It's like taking an I
Speaker 1: D bag. Outside of that, I mean it's usually banana
Speaker 1: for me and Mexican food greaf baby that that gets
Speaker 1: rid of a hangover for me real quick. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: find it ironic and also telling that you just announced
Speaker 1: for your hangover cure, you buy a case of something
Speaker 1: at Costco. You are such a raging alcoholic. I I'm
Speaker 1: done with the gym anyway. If I'm going to the
Speaker 1: gym and I worked out hydrate to like that's what
Speaker 1: that's what it is when you're hung over. Yeah, you're
Speaker 1: you're also smoking ayahuasca with Joe Rogan out in the
Speaker 1: Amazon for it's just something like we have we all
Speaker 1: have our issues. It is just identified on your podcast. Uh, clearly, clearly. Uh,
Speaker 1: that's pretty I drink like once, I drink once a year.
Speaker 1: You know what's gonna be at the ugly Sweater party
Speaker 1: that and also when the in laws are over for
Speaker 1: the Christmas party, we do a family party at the
Speaker 1: at the Malla mansion. But those are like the two
Speaker 1: days a year I get hammered and uh, and that's it.
Speaker 1: And it doesn't you know, I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: it's gonna change because my gallbladders out now, if it's
Speaker 1: gonna be more of a problem. But I've never I
Speaker 1: gotta drink. I'm a big guy, guess gut, and I
Speaker 1: gotta drink a lot of booze, a lot of booze
Speaker 1: before I start, uh, you know, getting all muddled and
Speaker 1: buzzed up and all that completely inebriated. So you gotta
Speaker 1: keep more in that Scotch, whiskey and bourbon. Well, you're
Speaker 1: not that big first of all anymore. And to how
Speaker 1: often do you drink anyway, Like you said, once a year,
Speaker 1: twice a year, and that doesn't count, You'll be fine.
Speaker 1: I mixed up my drunkards. You've got the hemingway Mary
Speaker 1: Poppet's Nutty Professor and Mr Hyde. I'm definitely more than
Speaker 1: Nutty Professor, where I'm more social and I'm drinking. You're
Speaker 1: you're more like Mr Hyde. You become more hostile when
Speaker 1: you drink. I don't what's that, I'm a wanderer. Um, well, no,
Speaker 1: that's not. That's not one of the categories. Hemingways where
Speaker 1: your personality doesn't change. You're the same. Mary Poppins is
Speaker 1: where you actually get nicer and you're happier. Nutty Professor,
Speaker 1: which is what I am, is you become more social
Speaker 1: and Mr Hyde is when you're hostile and you're angry
Speaker 1: and you want to punch everyone. I think it's safe.
Speaker 1: It's safe for the majority of the people that listen
Speaker 1: to this, they can relate. It depends on what kind
Speaker 1: of alcohol you're drinking. Wow. Now, I will say for
Speaker 1: talk radio, the ones that make the greatest radio are
Speaker 1: the Mary Poppins drunks. Ben, I love you, Joe Namath
Speaker 1: when you remember that famous RANTI old Jets quarterback, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's a Mary Poppins drunk. I love you. I want
Speaker 1: to kiss you. Yeah, that's that's classics. So anyway, I'm
Speaker 1: anything but hands on, like all piste off and angered
Speaker 1: or anything like that. So I rememverything else but that.
Speaker 1: All right, let's move on in the bag. You want
Speaker 1: to go to in the bag? Yes, all right, let's
Speaker 1: go to in the bag. These are actual questions sent
Speaker 1: in by actual p one super fans of the show
Speaker 1: that have downloaded the podcast. Here's one from mopar Nation
Speaker 1: in Middle Georgia. He says, what is the mallardmobile? I
Speaker 1: can't imagine it's anything too small? Uh, that is the
Speaker 1: the question. Well, I'm not gonna give exactly what kind
Speaker 1: of card is, but I have a I would say
Speaker 1: a full size hybrid that gets pretty good gas mileage.
Speaker 1: But essentially, what I did because I I live so
Speaker 1: far away from the radio station now because my wife
Speaker 1: had me move out to Vegas because that's all we
Speaker 1: could afford. So I have a very long commute when
Speaker 1: I drive into the studio in Los Angeles, and so
Speaker 1: what I want to get fuel? Uh? I wanted to
Speaker 1: help out my my pocketbook with the fuel savings. But
Speaker 1: since I'm a big guy, what I did is I
Speaker 1: went on all those car websites and uh like, you know,
Speaker 1: True Car and all those big sponsor of the radio show.
Speaker 1: And I I found which cars had the most interior space,
Speaker 1: you know, because I like, I like to feel very comfortable.
Speaker 1: I don't want my knees hitting the dashboard pretty relatively
Speaker 1: long legs. So I I found the car that got
Speaker 1: the best gas mileage with the most space in the cabin.
Speaker 1: And that's what I got, And I like it. It's
Speaker 1: a good you know, people goof on it, but it
Speaker 1: gets good gas mileage. It's very roomy on the inside.
Speaker 1: It's got a lot of bells and whistles, so I'm happy.
Speaker 1: I think they just bang on it because the color
Speaker 1: is nauseating. It's an ugly it's an ugly pist green. Yeah,
Speaker 1: well fuck you, okay, because now what I want you
Speaker 1: to know that Steve Harvey, the Great America's entertainer, Steve Harvey,
Speaker 1: who occasionally does show his studios right across the hall,
Speaker 1: and he doesn't a morning show on the East Coast,
Speaker 1: even though he's in l A doing the different game
Speaker 1: shows and all that. His talk show and Steve Harvey
Speaker 1: occasionally he will park next to the mallonmobile and one
Speaker 1: time he said to his his security guard, the guy
Speaker 1: with the gun, that he really liked the color of
Speaker 1: the Mallarmobile. So I'll take Steve Harvey's opinion over your
Speaker 1: opinion every day of the week, and as they say,
Speaker 1: twice on Sunday, because Steve Harvey's an admirer of the Mallormobile,
Speaker 1: He's an enthusiast of the color of the Mallontmobile. Well,
Speaker 1: he actually acknowledged the color of the car, not the
Speaker 1: car itself. So even that line itself, by you is
Speaker 1: is false advertising right there. So take to Steve Harvey.
Speaker 1: That's good for you. He never shows up in the
Speaker 1: studio and doesn't even know your name, and you're stuck
Speaker 1: doing this free podcast with man. That's a lot because
Speaker 1: when Steve Harvey, they're preparing for a show in that
Speaker 1: little area in the middle there. My show is broadcast
Speaker 1: while his people are getting ready. His show starts three
Speaker 1: in the morning, l A time. My show ends at
Speaker 1: three in the morning, l A time. So, uh, Stevens,
Speaker 1: he's a captive audience, and I'm sure he enjoys those
Speaker 1: Malond monologues. Moving on, Colorado, Mike, a podcast listener in
Speaker 1: the mile High State. He's in Denver, but he's in
Speaker 1: he's in the rarefied air of the Rocky Mountains. And
Speaker 1: he says, how many letters are still up in the
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio side of the studio. Well, Mike, we
Speaker 1: don't use that studio for this podcast, but last I checked,
Speaker 1: the A and the I were the last letters remaining
Speaker 1: from radio, and so we are. We are Fox Sports
Speaker 1: Radio Advanced Intelligence. I I thought it was better when
Speaker 1: it was AO because it sounded like Yo, Fox Sports
Speaker 1: Radio AO, like a punch line, you know, and I
Speaker 1: like that. It's he brought Steve Harvey. It's amazing because
Speaker 1: when he first started at the Premiere Radio Networks, he
Speaker 1: needed a studio. And his studio gotten built so fast
Speaker 1: with brand new update equipment, big screen TVs, a control
Speaker 1: room aboard off, a couple of decks, um, a bunch
Speaker 1: of bar stool seats and like six microphones, and your
Speaker 1: studio has trash piled up to the degills and it's
Speaker 1: got signs falling on over the place and some small um,
Speaker 1: some small televisions are instill in standard definition. So it
Speaker 1: is amazing. Yeah, well it's a ringing endorsement, you know,
Speaker 1: And that the thing about this, guest, you don't understand
Speaker 1: this because you you come from wealth, but I believe this.
Speaker 1: This helps. It's grit. You know, you gotta have grit
Speaker 1: in life. And you know there's a certain level of
Speaker 1: toughness to work overnight. You you've admitted you're not tough
Speaker 1: enough to work overnight. You don't have the guts to
Speaker 1: handle the hours. But uh, these these things that come
Speaker 1: up here with the TVs not working in line one
Speaker 1: being broken and the sign falling down, you know you've
Speaker 1: got to have moxi. You gotta have moxi to handle
Speaker 1: that environment. And you know, only the strong survivors. It's
Speaker 1: it's Darwinism, is what it is. Right, Well, no, it's
Speaker 1: it's calling a spade a spade. And if you want grit,
Speaker 1: that's what a small market is for. You were in
Speaker 1: San Diego once, right now you're in a national market
Speaker 1: and the number two market in the entire country. So
Speaker 1: that's no. No, l A is the number one radio market.
Speaker 1: Even even more so, I think the saying goes act
Speaker 1: as def um act as death dressed apart and then
Speaker 1: includes studio work. Well, I've crap, I've adapted. You don't
Speaker 1: want adapt. You should adapt or die. But but you
Speaker 1: know l A is the number one radio market because
Speaker 1: more people, you know, in New York people actually take
Speaker 1: public transportation. L A very few people take public transportation,
Speaker 1: and that's a captive audience in their cars on the
Speaker 1: highways and byways around southern California. All right, h next
Speaker 1: up here, let's see you want to sport. Oh question,
Speaker 1: Matt from Pittsburgh listening to the podcast, says, will the
Speaker 1: start of Duck Hodges this weekend? Bring back the Madden
Speaker 1: to Ducan? Uh No, because Madden's retired in northern California.
Speaker 1: And then Matt wants to know if I have any
Speaker 1: belief in the abilities of Devlyn Duck Hodges. Uh, Matt,
Speaker 1: I don't I love the name. I liked the story.
Speaker 1: I gotta kick out of the fact that this guy
Speaker 1: had to leave tweets about Donald Trump probe Donald Trump
Speaker 1: tweets a couple of years ago. Uh. Once he became
Speaker 1: the Steelers quarterback. But but no, no, I mean I
Speaker 1: think the guy I'm not expecting much from. We'll see
Speaker 1: how he does here. It's it's gonna be a remedial
Speaker 1: game plan for the Steelers. And as long as he
Speaker 1: doesn't turn the ball over and make mistakes, they're gonna
Speaker 1: dink and dunk and try to win that way on offense.
Speaker 1: And you can win games like that in the NFL.
Speaker 1: You're just not considered one of the great teams in
Speaker 1: the NFL when you play like that. Dan and Kalamazoo says,
Speaker 1: are there any good stories of times that you actually
Speaker 1: have annoyed the corporate muckety MUCKs? Uh? So, Dan's Dan
Speaker 1: and Kalamazoo wants he wants storytime here. Guess guy, I
Speaker 1: got a story. I'll give you a story, all right.
Speaker 1: So this is years ago. I was doing local radio
Speaker 1: and I've told this story a few times over the years,
Speaker 1: but it's a pretty good one. So I'm doing local
Speaker 1: radio and it was after like the first BCS Championship game.
Speaker 1: It was it was years ago. Florida's state was I
Speaker 1: think it was Florida State was playing in the game.
Speaker 1: It was Tennessee, but it was a long time ago,
Speaker 1: so I think it was Florida's state. But anyway, so
Speaker 1: we were working the day after the College Football Championship
Speaker 1: game and we came in there were we were kind
Speaker 1: of upset because it was a holiday. Oh you know,
Speaker 1: still a holiday. We were like, this sucks. So we
Speaker 1: came in there and we did this bit ripping the
Speaker 1: sponsor of the ball game. Right, we ripped the sponsor
Speaker 1: of the ball game. We pretty much goofed on him.
Speaker 1: How dumb it is this. Then I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: even remember the it was a it was a restaurant chain,
Speaker 1: and we ripped the restaurant chain, right, we goofed on him.
Speaker 1: So anyway, we were doing them more. I was filling
Speaker 1: in on the morning show. So I was doing Morning Drive.
Speaker 1: And but it's morning drive when no one's really out driving,
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's a holiday. Uh so there's fewer
Speaker 1: people on the roads. And so it was the Benendeve Show,
Speaker 1: and so we did this thing and then and then
Speaker 1: about thirty the general manager of the radio station shows
Speaker 1: up to work and and this guy would wear these
Speaker 1: power suits, you know, bright purple, bright blue, a yellow,
Speaker 1: these highlighter type suits. And you know, he was big
Speaker 1: into like the Tony Robbins stick and all that, you know,
Speaker 1: and which is fine, but he you know, it's a
Speaker 1: little much at that time in my life. And he
Speaker 1: comes barging into the studio after we went to commercial
Speaker 1: break and reads us the riot Act YouTube amateur assholes.
Speaker 1: And he then proceeds to tell us how much money
Speaker 1: that the restaurant chain we were ripping, uh, spent on
Speaker 1: radio advertising for our station. You know, she just she
Speaker 1: just destroyed us. And and and then you know, this
Speaker 1: went on for like a good three or four minutes,
Speaker 1: you know, the breaks, probably seven or eight minutes. Uh.
Speaker 1: Then we we go back on the air the next break,
Speaker 1: he comes back and does it again. He starts yelling
Speaker 1: at us again for what we had done. Uh. And
Speaker 1: then he told us, he says, you know, if you
Speaker 1: guys want to rip businesses, I'm gonna give you a
Speaker 1: list of people that don't advertise on the radio station.
Speaker 1: And and hand to god, guess god, this guy gave
Speaker 1: us a list of people that don't advertise on that
Speaker 1: radio station. And we were allowed to. We were we
Speaker 1: had open season on those people. So it was it
Speaker 1: was pretty funny. But that that that was one time.
Speaker 1: Have you ever had that guest and you're pretty much safe.
Speaker 1: You play it by the book. You know, you don't
Speaker 1: go off the rails very often, if at all, so
Speaker 1: probably not for you, right, Yeah, I remember when I
Speaker 1: first started with the company. Uh, well I heard San Diego.
Speaker 1: I had to do a bunch of things because the
Speaker 1: station at the time was very cheap. The program director,
Speaker 1: Brian Wilson, was really cheap, and uh he didn't want
Speaker 1: to pay anybody. He made me come in on Thanksgiving
Speaker 1: Day for this shitty serf show, a one hour search show.
Speaker 1: He made me come in and I had to run
Speaker 1: the board and produce this show for these guys who
Speaker 1: paid to be on air. Well, after the show was over,
Speaker 1: it goes to National programming and there's there's routers, you know,
Speaker 1: just like you'd have with an internet at home when
Speaker 1: you look up your computers and televisions and PlayStations or
Speaker 1: xboxes or whatever. There's a ratter that's connected to to
Speaker 1: the main board. Well, I had to flip the board
Speaker 1: to national programming, and at that time I was brand new.
Speaker 1: I was probably a month into the into the industry,
Speaker 1: and these guys get I flipped the board to Nashville
Speaker 1: Programming and then all of a sudden, the board goes
Speaker 1: out of the system drops that disconnects from the platform.
Speaker 1: And so the number one rule in radio is never
Speaker 1: have dead air. Like as long as you have something
Speaker 1: on radio, something is better than nothing, especially the Golden rule.
Speaker 1: Guests gone, there's a VU meter on the board, just
Speaker 1: make sure. All we have to do is make sure
Speaker 1: that VU meter is moving at all times right exactly.
Speaker 1: So there was nothing on there for me, and I
Speaker 1: didn't do anything wrong, and I'm like trying to pot
Speaker 1: up the music. I'm trying to pot up a station
Speaker 1: and nothing was playing, and so he starts blowing me
Speaker 1: up because he's at home, like the legs kicked up,
Speaker 1: enjoying his day, and he's like, what are you doing,
Speaker 1: like starts chewing me out. I told him, I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on. I can't get anything
Speaker 1: up and running. Nothing's working. And keep in mind, I'm
Speaker 1: green in the industry, so I had no case in
Speaker 1: the back room where like all the gear is, where
Speaker 1: all the studio, the rack room, all the paters and
Speaker 1: the processors are. And so we had a call an
Speaker 1: engineer that drove down from Encinitas down the Mission Valley.
Speaker 1: It's taking forty five minutes, but I just put on
Speaker 1: FM programming on an AM station and just playing music
Speaker 1: the entire time. And every time you call back to
Speaker 1: ask what was going on. I would just hang up
Speaker 1: on him. I just kept hanging up. I like, I
Speaker 1: don't know if he's still there. But yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: shout out to Brian Wilson of Extra Sports thirteen and sixties.
Speaker 1: So it was a school Wow, Gas, You're just a
Speaker 1: cog in the wheel. Gas got I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's good to uh to do that? All right? Moving on,
Speaker 1: Michael in Newton Falls, which I think is in Ohio,
Speaker 1: although I believe there's a Newton Falls in Massachusetts, so
Speaker 1: I think he's in Ohio, but I don't know. He says,
Speaker 1: after eating your Thanksgiving dinner, how long do you wait
Speaker 1: to eat dessert? Uh? That's from h Also, what is
Speaker 1: your favorite dessert? Well that's very cliche hokey sports radio there, Michael.
Speaker 1: So I won't forget the last part for that. But
Speaker 1: I usually don't wait long I I eat, you know,
Speaker 1: I eat enough and then I'm I love the pumpkin
Speaker 1: pie desserts, one of the great parts of the Thanksgiving meal.
Speaker 1: So why wait? You know it? Plus I don't like
Speaker 1: to wait because I want to get in and out.
Speaker 1: I go to the in law So I I figure
Speaker 1: like once I eat dessert. That's a sign to the wife,
Speaker 1: all right, let's get on the road, let's get out
Speaker 1: of here. So I don't think I pause. I go
Speaker 1: right from appetizers to main dish to dessert. And I
Speaker 1: always go. For some reason, I always go cheesecake. I
Speaker 1: don't know why. I always do cheesecakes. Always around, I
Speaker 1: go cheesecake. Um did I go? But did I go
Speaker 1: from cheesecake? And then I go to um rolls. There's
Speaker 1: there's a King's of Lion Bakery in the city of Torrance.
Speaker 1: And so if you've ever had Hawaiian roles from King's Wine,
Speaker 1: which are the best roles you'll ever ever have, I'll
Speaker 1: have that. I'll have those with with ham in the middle.
Speaker 1: And that's that's kind of like topping it off from
Speaker 1: my dessert. Those Hawaiian roles are I believe, from it
Speaker 1: is the It is from the heavens, all right? Is
Speaker 1: it is the nectar of the gods? Uh? Those are
Speaker 1: those Hawaiian roles are just amazing. But I I'm a traditionalist.
Speaker 1: I eat the banana, not the banana. Banana creepie is
Speaker 1: the greatest pie. But usually they don't have that at
Speaker 1: the holiday things. So I I eat pumpkin, pumpkin with
Speaker 1: like whipped cream or cool whip on top. Man, that
Speaker 1: is just amazing. That is a wonderful thing. Absolutely love it.
Speaker 1: Anyway they have Are you have any of that at
Speaker 1: through a holiday party? Here? And uh? In the ugly
Speaker 1: sweater Christmas party? What do you talk pie Wenna? I
Speaker 1: don't know. We haven't set the menu. I need to
Speaker 1: bring some cream for the female guests. So wow, wow,
Speaker 1: stay away, Okay, you stay away. We're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 1: put you in quarantine away from my wife's friends come
Speaker 1: to the party. Okay. Uh. David Nashville rights and Davis
Speaker 1: a schmuck. He says, why does benz mic sound like dogshit?
Speaker 1: Gagons mic sounds fine, up to par, but bench sounds
Speaker 1: like he's talking through a garbage disposal hard on the
Speaker 1: ears when listening to a headphones. Well, well day, First
Speaker 1: of all, I guess which finger I'm holding up for you?
Speaker 1: That's right number? Your number one? Uh. Secondly, uh, this
Speaker 1: is all how perception because I hear people tell me
Speaker 1: Gascon sounds terrible and I sound great. But we we
Speaker 1: we use a different studio. It's gonna sound different with
Speaker 1: the podcast. We have a podcast studio at the I
Speaker 1: Heart Building, and the podcast comes out of a different studio.
Speaker 1: I use a different studio, guestcons in a different studio.
Speaker 1: The main studio at Fox Sports Radio has like probably
Speaker 1: do you say, a hundred thousand, two hundred thousand dollars
Speaker 1: ers of voice processing equipment that makes us sound really good.
Speaker 1: We don't have that in the podcast studio, so it's
Speaker 1: not gonna sound as crystal clear in the podcast studio.
Speaker 1: It's like when I do remote shows, you know, and
Speaker 1: I I did a show last night from the remote
Speaker 1: studio where I used to do the the w e
Speaker 1: I shows. It sounds different. It's not the same set up,
Speaker 1: but it's not bad. It's just it's just different. Dave
Speaker 1: you schmuck. Yeah, I gotta text the day from another
Speaker 1: crazy Canuck and he had texted that your audio sunded good,
Speaker 1: but my treuble on my microphone sounded bad. So I
Speaker 1: appreciate the people that actually listen to that stuff pretty close.
Speaker 1: That's that's amazing because most people don't pick that stuff up.
Speaker 1: But uh, yeah, I have I have no kind of
Speaker 1: influence on what we use and what we can't use.
Speaker 1: So one more John and Colorado listening to the podcast
Speaker 1: is what percentage of the podcast listeners do you guys
Speaker 1: think enjoy the fifth hour with Ben Miller and David
Speaker 1: Gascott while on the crapper. That's from John in Colorado. Well,
Speaker 1: that's that's a good question. Now, See, most people don't
Speaker 1: spend that long on the crapper because otherwise you get hemorrhoids.
Speaker 1: So I don't think it's that high a percentage. But
Speaker 1: what do you think maybe ten of people while taking
Speaker 1: a deuce dropping a deuce there listening to the podcast.
Speaker 1: I think it's zero. It's not zero. It's not zero.
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone spends anytime listen to us while
Speaker 1: they're doing that. It's not well, you do something. What
Speaker 1: do you do when you're on the toy You eat
Speaker 1: a sandwich? What do you do you? Hay, I'm sandwich
Speaker 1: while you're taking a dump. I play mind games. You
Speaker 1: play mind games. There's a great app on on on
Speaker 1: an iPhone called Elevate. It's great for uh, it's great
Speaker 1: p addiction. You'll appreciate that. It's great prediction, it's great
Speaker 1: for math, it's it's great for reading. Comprehension. So yeah,
Speaker 1: so you've convinced you so that you're getting smarter like
Speaker 1: that that you definitely need it. I mean you are,
Speaker 1: You're dummy, so you definitely need to help. I appreciate
Speaker 1: the learning aspect of these digital applications. So yeah, I'll
Speaker 1: run with that. I mean, that's fine. You have your
Speaker 1: you have your A degree, I have my master's. That's
Speaker 1: it's fine. We can compare all these things if you want.
Speaker 1: It's it's good. I can do that. Well, I want
Speaker 1: you to know I have done radio enough. I have
Speaker 1: been in the radio business long enough. I'm qualified to
Speaker 1: teach a class at a university without a degree. I
Speaker 1: teach a class because I have been in this so long,
Speaker 1: a master class on how to do radio. I would
Speaker 1: actually like to do that someday. I would love to
Speaker 1: have the opportunity to spread the gospel of radio and podcasting.
Speaker 1: But anyway, is that you're an informal way of asking
Speaker 1: me to get you into a university. Since I got
Speaker 1: you back on a TV, since I got you back
Speaker 1: in front of the big screen, in front of picture, well,
Speaker 1: I want you to point out you got me technically,
Speaker 1: you got me back into television. But it was a
Speaker 1: fifty You set me up to fail. It was a
Speaker 1: fifty six to nothing game, all right, he's six And
Speaker 1: the best part of that night was that little apple
Speaker 1: treat that we got to eat one of the people
Speaker 1: on the crew. That was the highlight of the night.
Speaker 1: The game sucked. It was terrible, and uh, oh my god,
Speaker 1: how dare you? All right, let's get the don't stick
Speaker 1: to sports. These are actual so we I don't think
Speaker 1: this whole thing has been about sports, but but don't
Speaker 1: stick the sports stories of the week. This is your baby.
Speaker 1: Guess god, this is where you shine. What do we have?
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've brought this up at all
Speaker 1: during the point of your shows this week, But how
Speaker 1: about this? A Greensboro man a dating app and he's
Speaker 1: the only guy allowed on the app. Did you hear
Speaker 1: about this? I did? I did see some of that.
Speaker 1: So so this guy is hard up to get lady,
Speaker 1: and he's he's gone above and beyond the call of duty, right,
Speaker 1: he's gone above and beyond the call of duty pretty much.
Speaker 1: He created an app. It's called Singularity, and the app
Speaker 1: was built so uh, it's only built for open phones,
Speaker 1: not computers and the app that he's the only guy
Speaker 1: on on this app. So no matter how many times
Speaker 1: that you know, if you're a female you're swiping on it,
Speaker 1: he's the same guy. Now. I think this is brilliant.
Speaker 1: I think this is wonderful. But how are women like
Speaker 1: if you're a chick, like try to try to put
Speaker 1: yourself in a woman's shoes, Like, like, there's two there's
Speaker 1: either one of two ways this is gonna go. You're
Speaker 1: either gonna say, boy, that's innovative, that's creative, that's original.
Speaker 1: This guy really wants a girlfriend, he really wants a
Speaker 1: significant other. It's imaginative. This guy is a trendsetter. Or
Speaker 1: this guy is a stage five clinger, creepy mccreep, and
Speaker 1: probably a future serial killer. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I think he's an entrepreneur. I think he's a guy
Speaker 1: of of motivation. He's a guy that is thinking about
Speaker 1: the future. And uh, he's a go killer. I can
Speaker 1: appreciate that. Yeah, it's like me, this is this is novel.
Speaker 1: This is unconventional. Uh, and he obviously knows tech. If
Speaker 1: you asked me to put an app together, I'd have
Speaker 1: to read app for dummies or whatever, and I probably
Speaker 1: still wouldn't be able to do it. So uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: good job by him. I think this this should work
Speaker 1: out very well. I didn't know this, but uh, we're
Speaker 1: looking at some numbers on this. Different websites have different
Speaker 1: age brackets, so ages eighteen to forty five. Most of
Speaker 1: the people that are on there are on Tender ages
Speaker 1: twenty five or thirty four. Most people on there are
Speaker 1: on plenty of Fish, and then forty five or sixty five.
Speaker 1: Most people men or women are on Match. Um, have
Speaker 1: you ever used a dating side before? Oh? Yeah, well
Speaker 1: I I used plenty of Fish back in the back
Speaker 1: in the day, but then because Tinder wasn't around when
Speaker 1: I was doing my thing, and I've never used Match.
Speaker 1: I think I had like a jade Dat account, but
Speaker 1: I didn't pay for it, so it didn't really work
Speaker 1: because you have to pay for it, you know, and
Speaker 1: I didn't pay for it, so someone had to contact me.
Speaker 1: I couldn't contact really anybody, so that that was really
Speaker 1: not successful at all. But yeah, I I did online
Speaker 1: dating for a long time. You're on all those right now,
Speaker 1: how's that going for you? No? No, I've never used that.
Speaker 1: That's a lie. You're lie, You're lying. I do know
Speaker 1: that match requires like seven pages of filling out information
Speaker 1: before you can even start swiping on people. Um, I
Speaker 1: was oblivious. You know why that is because people have
Speaker 1: killed people on those websites, and so they have for
Speaker 1: liability reasons. They got to cover themselves. That's why it's
Speaker 1: happened on Uber though, and Left as well. I mean,
Speaker 1: people get assalted all the time, and those riding apps too.
Speaker 1: So if you want you want to become an Uber driver,
Speaker 1: now there's a lot more red tape and bureaucracy that
Speaker 1: you have to fill out to become an Uber driver.
Speaker 1: Speaking of liability, I know that traveling wise, that they
Speaker 1: say that the best time to travel or to buy
Speaker 1: airline tickets is usually on a Tuesday to fly out.
Speaker 1: What day is the best to go online to look
Speaker 1: for a day? I have no I what Saturday? Maybe Thursdays.
Speaker 1: Thursdays is the best day because they feel that it
Speaker 1: leads obviously into the weekend. But Thursdays and Fridays are
Speaker 1: usually the best time for people to get together for
Speaker 1: happy hour. I always thought it was travel on Saturday
Speaker 1: because most people want to leave on Friday and they
Speaker 1: come back on Sunday and whatnot. So if you you
Speaker 1: can get some deals on on Saturday, and plus if
Speaker 1: you fly like on Christmas or New Year's you can
Speaker 1: usually get pretty good deals because people don't want to
Speaker 1: fly in those days. Right, yeah, but cheap, cheap. This
Speaker 1: average is tuesdays. To buy a ticket to fly out
Speaker 1: on Tuesday, it is usually buy average the cheapest dress.
Speaker 1: That's not that's not convenient from my schedule. I'll have
Speaker 1: to check because I'm flying to Seattle possibly in December.
Speaker 1: We already talked about that. All right, what's next? Yesty way?
Speaker 1: How about this? A Florida woman read it on herself. Um,
Speaker 1: she made a nine one one call and reported that
Speaker 1: she had found a person dead in her driveway. Uh.
Speaker 1: Later on that day, Ivan Serrano, fifty one years of age,
Speaker 1: or Coral Springs was actually arrested for murder, really arrested
Speaker 1: for murder. So she calls nine one one says, oh
Speaker 1: my god, somehow there's a dead person right in my
Speaker 1: was your driveway? Yeah? I wasn't her driveway. She said
Speaker 1: that the person wasn't breathing, was bleeding from her head,
Speaker 1: and nine one operator asked, you know basically what was
Speaker 1: going on, and she said she couldn't tell if the
Speaker 1: person was alive or dead. Investigation concluded that that she
Speaker 1: was the cause of it, and she was identified as
Speaker 1: the as a murder suspect. So how how did the person?
Speaker 1: How did she kill the person? It was? It was
Speaker 1: a young person, right, it was someone much younger than her. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was the younger person. That's what the investigation continued,
Speaker 1: and obviously investigators were asking, like what happened with Toronto?
Speaker 1: Was changing her story going back and forth. Actually went
Speaker 1: out for drinks and a bunch of friends. She blacked
Speaker 1: out at some point during the night. Uh, and she
Speaker 1: woke up apparently early in the morning, and she found
Speaker 1: out she was in her own bed, but she didn't
Speaker 1: know how that person was in the middle of her driveway.
Speaker 1: So oh wait, wait, wait, wait here it says here
Speaker 1: that the driver's side door was open and the person
Speaker 1: that was killed the right foot was still in the
Speaker 1: car and the person had a gunshot wound to their forehead.
Speaker 1: Did she shot this person in the forehead? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: not good. That's like execution. Well, I guess the execution
Speaker 1: will be from behind. But still at point blank. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's seeing a point blank. I'm about this. How about
Speaker 1: this for point blake? A man faces charges right now
Speaker 1: in Florida after being accused of punching an elderly man
Speaker 1: who told him to stop masturbating outside of a South
Speaker 1: Florida supermarket. Yeah, well, we know you love masturbation stories.
Speaker 1: It's one of your favorite Yeah, you're one of your heroes.
Speaker 1: I know you have a Kelvin Winslow junior jersey from
Speaker 1: the Jets back in the day, and you're a big
Speaker 1: fan of his. But uh uh, yeah, I think it's
Speaker 1: very rude if someone's masturbating in public. I think it's
Speaker 1: rude to tell him to stop. I think you wait
Speaker 1: until they finished the act and then you say, all right, now,
Speaker 1: clean that up and don't do that again, because you
Speaker 1: know you could get punched if you If you tell
Speaker 1: someone in the middle of that act, they don't do that,
Speaker 1: You're you're setting yourself up to to have something terrible happened,
Speaker 1: like you could get bodily fluids on you. Who wants
Speaker 1: to take that chance? Are you trying to tell me
Speaker 1: you would actually sit there and wait until the person
Speaker 1: is done before you tell them to stop. Doing what
Speaker 1: they're doing. Well, no, I'm not a creepy like you.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't watch. I wouldn't I wouldn't confront them at all.
Speaker 1: I would just maybe i'd call the police and say, hey,
Speaker 1: there's a perbet here, uh, masturbating doing the winky winky.
Speaker 1: But I I would not to confront the person. Now,
Speaker 1: what if you're in a different country, like let's say Amsterdam.
Speaker 1: Let's say you're let's say you're in in the Netherlands
Speaker 1: and and you are observing the nuance? So what is
Speaker 1: the relied district? Uh? Well, when in Rome act like
Speaker 1: a Roman? Right, I mean, yeah, I do? Was the
Speaker 1: Romans do? So if that's the local etiquette, then you
Speaker 1: you know who am I to judge? Right? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know if you hear about this? Then, the
Speaker 1: US Aviation Space Agency UH better known as NASA um
Speaker 1: International Space Station announced that they have broken down toilets
Speaker 1: and that they stated that astronauts in the station may
Speaker 1: have to use diapers stocks. Uh. Yeah, they have to
Speaker 1: use diapers as opposed to using toilets because of the
Speaker 1: broken down tool US. So the top you know how hard,
Speaker 1: you know how hard it is to be an astronaut
Speaker 1: and actually get to space. You know how hard that is.
Speaker 1: So the one the one percent of people who have
Speaker 1: been to space, right have been to space. They have
Speaker 1: to now ship in diapers. The US module is out
Speaker 1: of service, the Russian one that was part of the
Speaker 1: space station. Um, that toilet is full and obviously they
Speaker 1: can't dispose any in a waste. Uh so now they
Speaker 1: have to rely on diapers. Wow, now do you know
Speaker 1: this is great? Let's have some Mallard math here. So
Speaker 1: in the history of of planet Earth, they scientists estimate
Speaker 1: that roughly a hundred and eight billion people have lived.
Speaker 1: That's it. Only there's only a hundred eight people in
Speaker 1: the history of the Earth where human beings have lived.
Speaker 1: Obviously animals have been around a longer, but what we
Speaker 1: call whole most sapiens, only a hundred and eight thousand,
Speaker 1: a hundred eight million billion people have lived. Right now,
Speaker 1: how many people have actually been in space? Less than
Speaker 1: six hundred people have been to space. I think the
Speaker 1: numbers like between five fifty and six hundred. So and
Speaker 1: you're in that very special brotherhood fraternity, and now you
Speaker 1: have to ship in a diaper like you're you know,
Speaker 1: an eighty five year old person. You've lost all your
Speaker 1: all your movements and your bodily functions, I believe. Do
Speaker 1: you now, do you call a plumber if the toilets
Speaker 1: break on the space stage? Like? Can you? Can you
Speaker 1: send the plumber up and get Uh? How do you
Speaker 1: fix that? That's that's a tough one. Well, what happens
Speaker 1: if you're dehydrated and that thing just runs for days
Speaker 1: and your diapers cannot hold it? Yeah? Yeah, Well, you
Speaker 1: know back in the day you told me sometimes when
Speaker 1: you were doing games on television, you would use diapers,
Speaker 1: So you probably know about that. You can give some
Speaker 1: advice out that. That's not true. That is the That's
Speaker 1: definitely true. I didn't feel like that last week though,
Speaker 1: when I was dying before I went to a broadcast,
Speaker 1: I tell you about that. Uh, no, you did not
Speaker 1: know I was. Have you ever missed a show because
Speaker 1: you were sick, like on the way to the studio?
Speaker 1: But no. I have done shows where I have vomited
Speaker 1: between breaks. But I have If I am scheduled to
Speaker 1: work and uh and I am on my way, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna work. I'm doing the doing the job I was
Speaker 1: scheduled to be in semi value, which is next to
Speaker 1: Coop de Loop, and distance from my house to his
Speaker 1: is probably like seventy miles, maybe like sixty seven. I
Speaker 1: left my hometown at three thirty four, a call time
Speaker 1: at five o'clock, and I kid you not. Then I
Speaker 1: was in bumper to bumper traffic, and as I'm sitting
Speaker 1: in traffic, I became to feel nauseous. I was sick,
Speaker 1: I became hot, and I had to get off near
Speaker 1: West l A to go start dry heaving, and our
Speaker 1: studio is about twelve miles away from West l A.
Speaker 1: I sped down the four or five freeway shoulder with
Speaker 1: my hazards on. I had my suit on, I was
Speaker 1: sweating makeupping onto my pants, and I into the studio
Speaker 1: to go vombit. And my color commentary was like, hey,
Speaker 1: where are you? And it's six o'clock. I had to
Speaker 1: be there at five. I was like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if I'm gonna make it, And somehow, some way, five
Speaker 1: minutes later, I felt better about myself, got in the car,
Speaker 1: drove the Sea Valley, and got there before kickoff time
Speaker 1: at seven o'clock. That was the closest I've ever been,
Speaker 1: and it was a game on Fox. So obviously I
Speaker 1: would have hated myself I had missed a performance like that.
Speaker 1: Are you you're doing this to pat yourself in the
Speaker 1: back right as you am? I supposed to give you
Speaker 1: a purple heart here? What am I supposed to do?
Speaker 1: I thought? I thought you would say that's it's admirable.
Speaker 1: I appreciate it. That's part of the grit that I
Speaker 1: was talking about earlier. We've already determined you don't have
Speaker 1: great You're short in the great category. You can't handle
Speaker 1: the overnights and all that. But al right, fine, I
Speaker 1: pacify you. Gascon boy? Was that heroic? Boy? Was that heroic?
Speaker 1: What you did right there? Hashtag heroic? From David Gascon
Speaker 1: last story I am about this and Amazon customers said
Speaker 1: he was a little piste off. He opened up a
Speaker 1: package that was containing a gift for his eight year
Speaker 1: old knees and found that was a bagg of drugs
Speaker 1: inside of it. He used Amazon Prime to get some
Speaker 1: some packages sent to him based on some children's art.
Speaker 1: Next day, he found a bunch of pills that were
Speaker 1: inside the package for his eight year old niece. So
Speaker 1: now drugs can be weed. Drugs can be heroin. They
Speaker 1: can fenton all, what what kind of drugs? There were pills?
Speaker 1: So obviously they can't be uh so well you know
Speaker 1: about that. It could be pet fenton all, could be
Speaker 1: some fenton all there, right, could be some of that,
Speaker 1: maybe depressions, crack, you know something like that, right right? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it looks like speed or ecstasy or um a little
Speaker 1: bit of molly. Um, So how does this happen? Like that?
Speaker 1: I always wonder these things pop up every once in
Speaker 1: a while, like how does something like that happen? Like
Speaker 1: look at this. Let's let's say, um, that was a
Speaker 1: secondhand company on Amazon, you know sublet Uh, you buy
Speaker 1: something on Amazon is actually a different company that sends it,
Speaker 1: which happens a lot on Amazon. Let's say that's true. Um,
Speaker 1: but still, if you're the one using the drugs, why
Speaker 1: would you drugs pretty valuable if you're someone that uses them,
Speaker 1: why would you put them in a package. Let's say
Speaker 1: you're selling drugs, but this person didn't buy the drugs,
Speaker 1: why would you then put the drugs in the pat
Speaker 1: You know what I'm you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: it does not logical from any perspective. Well, this happens
Speaker 1: when you go. You can go fast food restaurants all
Speaker 1: the time, doesn't it Or even when you go to
Speaker 1: a certain the statum bushmants that don't have great ratings
Speaker 1: and you find stuff in your food. Right, I've never
Speaker 1: gone to like Burger King and gotten some little baggy
Speaker 1: of aunt hazel in the in the drive through where
Speaker 1: I've never been given uh some fent and all when
Speaker 1: I was at McDonald's. It's never happened. Maybe for you,
Speaker 1: pi happen. I once time went to Burger King and
Speaker 1: bit into a burger and I had a toothpick at that.
Speaker 1: That was pretty uh, that was pretty nauseating and it
Speaker 1: hurt too. I would never eat there again. I would
Speaker 1: never eat I would never eat it. I would again
Speaker 1: if that was the case. That is that is an
Speaker 1: epic disgusting tale right there. That's yeah, it was pretty bad.
Speaker 1: That's what this podcast is for, right to uh to
Speaker 1: dine and to highlight people and to highlight our our
Speaker 1: misapps in the world for all to enjoy. Well, some
Speaker 1: have said this podcast is like depressing, right, it's some
Speaker 1: of that, and that is it? All right, that'll we'll
Speaker 1: put the baby to bed. Thank you for listening to
Speaker 1: the podcast. Please help spread the word. We'll get some
Speaker 1: advertisers year. We're gonna make some money on this and
Speaker 1: uh and and we want more people listening. It's more fun.
Speaker 1: We gotta do the podcast. We it's more fun when
Speaker 1: more people are listening. To tell your relatives, your friends,
Speaker 1: your enemies, everyone about the podcast. Give it a try.
Speaker 1: If you tell them. If you listen for three weeks,
Speaker 1: you'll be hooked. Give us three weeks. That's three downloads,
Speaker 1: you'll be hooked. Subscribed to the podcast five stars. Have
Speaker 1: a great rest of your Thanksgiving weekend, Black Friday and
Speaker 1: all the shopping and all that. We'll be back live
Speaker 1: on the Magic Radio Box or inside It Sunday night
Speaker 1: in the Monday recapping that big Ravens game with the
Speaker 1: forty Niners. And don't forget the other podcast which is
Speaker 1: gonna drop that will drop, uh shortly and maybe he's
Speaker 1: already up right now. Have a great weekend. We'll catch
Speaker 1: you next time on the podcast or the radio. Yo.