WEBVTT - Remote Audio Gold 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:05.520 Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:09.320 week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of 0:00:09.320 --> 0:00:13.000 the old Republic, a soul fashion of fairness. He treats 0:00:13.000 --> 0:00:15.880 crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich 0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:20.280 hill poppers in the penthouse the Clearinghouse of Hot takes 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:24.119 break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:31.440 Maller starts right now night. We're back at it again. 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:35.440 It is the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller, back because 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:38.680 four hours on the overnight are not enough. We are 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:44.280 in the air everywhere the vast power of the I 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:50.040 Heart podcast network, in the global reach of podcasts that 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:51.960 you can get this. As you know, because you found 0:00:51.960 --> 0:00:55.200 the podcast, you are in the one percent that listen 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:58.000 to this podcast. This is like a test, the litmus 0:00:58.000 --> 0:01:00.680 test for the super fans of the show that not 0:01:00.800 --> 0:01:03.520 only listened during the week, but then on the weekends, 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:07.600 even a holiday weekend. Download the podcast. You've gone above 0:01:07.680 --> 0:01:11.039 and beyond the call of duty. And we are back 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:17.440 again with David Gascon noticed Jaggon affectionately in the building. 0:01:18.160 --> 0:01:20.640 My phone. Every once in a while I will have 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:24.839 to call David Gascon and my phone in the car 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:30.200 will say, David gas Can is how you are my 0:01:30.200 --> 0:01:34.880 My car calls you David Gascon. Uh. But we're back. 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:37.320 It would be nice if we were at a higher 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.440 percentage of listeners than one percent. But you have taken 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:43.240 days off from work, you have spent days away from 0:01:43.240 --> 0:01:46.320 the studio. You have dogged this podcast. So it has 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:51.120 been all upon my shoulders to trying to promote this 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:54.840 with the uh with the effects of zero marketing tools 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:59.760 and zero support from everywhere else, um your channels, the 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:02.760 core uper channels. But yeah, I'd like to get these 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:06.080 numbers to a hire a benchmark by the turn of 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:08.720 I don't know if you can make that happen, but 0:02:08.760 --> 0:02:10.799 we need a little bit more effort from you. Uh. 0:02:10.960 --> 0:02:13.320 So if we can do that, I greatly appreciate that. 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:16.800 Since we are on the come of Thanksgiving Day, well, 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:20.079 you know, I do appreciate the candor. And this podcast 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:23.560 is actually on Black Friday. We're doing this on Black Friday, 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:25.280 gustcons So I don't know if you're aware of that, 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.240 but this is also I want to be very clear here. 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:31.320 People say I'm not charitable, This is a simple act 0:02:31.320 --> 0:02:35.040 of charity. This podcast we are. I'm a man of 0:02:35.040 --> 0:02:38.120 the people now gascons, now not gascons and elite is 0:02:38.200 --> 0:02:40.520 he lives near the Pacific Ocean. I do not live 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:42.800 near the Pacific Ocean. I live in England, all right. 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:46.520 So but this is a pro bono situation here, this 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:49.480 is a kindness of my heart. We are doing this 0:02:49.919 --> 0:02:53.680 podcast for the super fans of the show, and I 0:02:53.720 --> 0:02:56.240 know you hate the fans of the show. By the way, Gascon, 0:02:56.320 --> 0:02:58.480 before we get started, you did you hear the other 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:03.360 night is in Houston called up and just slayed you. 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:08.840 Did you hear him just annihilate you because of this podcast? No? 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:12.440 I did not, and UM actually appalled that you'd put 0:03:12.480 --> 0:03:15.240 a coward like that on on your radio, on a 0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:19.119 national show across the United States and overseas. You would 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:22.160 put a turd of a human being on your radio 0:03:22.240 --> 0:03:24.880 show like that. That's that's more of an indictment on 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.640 you than it is to have that guy on the radio. 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:30.799 So you should be apologizing for having him that kind 0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:34.200 of filth and slop on the radio. I don't know 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:36.760 what he said, I don't care what he said. I 0:03:36.800 --> 0:03:39.840 will let me open up a bag since you have 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:42.720 as well, because I got this great email this morning 0:03:42.760 --> 0:03:45.760 at three o'clock while your show is wrapping up. And 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:48.960 Jesse had said he he wanted to repeat what he 0:03:49.000 --> 0:03:52.240 has told you reportedly, but he thinks the chemistry between 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:56.280 me and you is tremendous. Uh. He wanted to thank 0:03:56.360 --> 0:03:58.080 me personally for all the work that I have put 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:01.640 into this podcast. Uh. And he thinks it's uh, it 0:04:01.680 --> 0:04:04.520 thinks it's a thing of beauty. So I don't care 0:04:04.520 --> 0:04:08.200 about Chris and he, well, he's being polite and uh 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:09.960 and by the way, gasco on you, I don't know 0:04:09.960 --> 0:04:12.280 if you know the podcasting rules. I'll have to detect 0:04:12.400 --> 0:04:14.360 them to you. But that what you've just just done 0:04:14.440 --> 0:04:19.440 is a breach of decorum. You have violated podcast etiquette 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:23.880 one oh one, these social norms of podcasting here. You 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:29.000 do not let me. You do not slay the people 0:04:29.040 --> 0:04:31.920 that actually download the podcast. You just said we don't 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:34.960 have enough people downloading the podcast. And now you are 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:39.000 offending the people that are listening to this podcast. What 0:04:39.240 --> 0:04:41.240 you do you really do you really think people are 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:44.760 offended by me calling out Chris, because I will think 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:46.960 to differ. I think they are encouraged by that. I 0:04:47.000 --> 0:04:51.159 think they're applauding that I think they're happy about it. Well, listen, yeah, 0:04:51.320 --> 0:04:53.559 let me tell you something. Chris and Houston is good 0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:57.719 for the radio show. He's uh, he'said. Um how dingle Berry, 0:04:57.720 --> 0:04:59.800 I guess is the word I would descot, but a fun, 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:03.080 lovable dingleberry. He's like a PR guy for all those 0:05:03.080 --> 0:05:05.720 Houston sports teams. I get a kick out of him. 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:09.080 He makes me look good because I'm right every time, 0:05:09.160 --> 0:05:10.840 much like I do the show with you. You make 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:13.200 me look good because I'm always right and you're always wrong. 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:15.360 It's one. Well, that's that's my job is to make 0:05:15.400 --> 0:05:17.520 you look good. And technically speaking, if you want to 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:21.279 be specific with this, if we're talking about customers, shouldn't 0:05:21.360 --> 0:05:24.440 they be paying us or should we be competent in 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:29.720 some kind of way for services rendered? Um, that's what 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:36.880 that's what that's like. Now you're now, you're now, Now 0:05:36.920 --> 0:05:42.400 you're quoting William Shatner. Now William Shatner and eighty five 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:44.800 year old actors who you're quoting? All right? Be sure 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:47.240 to catch live editions of The Ben Miller Show week 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:50.719 days at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on Fox 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:54.080 Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app. Let's Get 0:05:54.120 --> 0:05:56.520 to the menu here, it's the b Strow is open 0:05:56.600 --> 0:05:59.840 for business. It's the fifth hour coming up. We're gonna 0:05:59.839 --> 0:06:05.040 have Matt the mallard Man March, the plot twist, the handbook, 0:06:05.120 --> 0:06:11.719 too lazy Thanksgiving radio study this and also we'll have 0:06:11.960 --> 0:06:15.560 it's in the bag and don't stick the sports stories 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:17.960 of the week. All of that coming your way right now. 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:22.480 But we'll begin with the mallard Man March. Now you're 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:24.600 you're gonnaware of this guest gone because you're you're not 0:06:24.680 --> 0:06:26.880 one of the cool kids. But on the radio show, 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:31.279 we have started a movement in the Pacific Northwest. The 0:06:31.440 --> 0:06:35.360 super fans of the show, the p Ones, are holding 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:39.800 the first ever Mallard Man March, which is gonna be 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.400 taking place in late December. Have you heard about the 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:48.040 mallard Man March, Gascon No, I I have not. There 0:06:48.080 --> 0:06:50.320 are rumblings that you can be traveling to a far 0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:55.160 distant land, but no, uh tell me all about it. Well, 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:59.640 December twenty nine is actually the date. It's right before 0:06:59.760 --> 0:07:06.159 New Years and that Sunday, December twenty night, right before 0:07:06.480 --> 0:07:10.280 the Seahawks play the forty Niners in a key NFC 0:07:10.440 --> 0:07:16.120 West slobber Knocker ed in Spokane and Christina from Spokane 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:19.160 are gonna make the trip over to Seattle. And they 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:22.240 they were the ones that started this. This was their baby, 0:07:22.560 --> 0:07:26.360 a Mallard man march. They're gonna stand outside the stadium 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:30.040 and uh and Jay Scoop, the great back to back 0:07:30.160 --> 0:07:33.520 talent show winner. Our friend Jay Scoop is involved in this. 0:07:34.200 --> 0:07:37.360 And the Mallard Militia men and women are gonna stand 0:07:37.360 --> 0:07:40.880 out in front of the stadium and march around holding signs. 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:44.920 They've got a born shouting slogans to get people to 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:47.960 listen to the show. Uh and and and spread the 0:07:48.080 --> 0:07:51.280 love of the radio show to the Seahawk and forty 0:07:51.360 --> 0:07:55.640 Niner fans. And how off the hook is this going 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:57.560 to be a guest And this is going to be 0:07:57.720 --> 0:08:02.480 an amazing event that any one within reasonable driving distance 0:08:02.880 --> 0:08:06.200 should go to. Like for p Ones, this is gonna 0:08:06.240 --> 0:08:09.880 be forget Woodstock, this is like mallar Stock is what 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:13.800 this is gonna be. And there's even rumors that Blind Scott, 0:08:13.840 --> 0:08:18.560 who's not geographically desirable to get to Seattle, could make 0:08:18.640 --> 0:08:22.240 the trip. He's threatening to fly in from Boston to 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:24.080 be part of this event. This is how this is 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:27.840 a big f and deal gas gun. I guess the 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:30.440 biggest question with all of this, then, is that while 0:08:30.480 --> 0:08:33.600 these people will be an attendance, will you actually be 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:36.160 an attendance. Well, I'm glad you brought that up, because 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:39.400 that is the plot twist, that's the second act in 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:43.600 this particular play. Now, I was originally debating whether or 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:46.320 not to go to Seattle. I haven't been to Seattle 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:49.280 in a number of years. But as you know, I 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:52.520 had a very serious medical situation. I was in the 0:08:52.559 --> 0:08:54.880 hospital for a week. I had my gall bladder chopped 0:08:54.880 --> 0:08:57.559 out of me. No sympathy from you. I was on 0:08:57.600 --> 0:08:59.760 my deathbed. I mean, you're going to a surgery. You 0:08:59.760 --> 0:09:02.520 could die when you go into surgery. I was amazingly 0:09:02.559 --> 0:09:06.000 able to survive because I've got superman like skills. Uh. 0:09:06.040 --> 0:09:07.839 So I got out of the surgery, are right? And 0:09:07.960 --> 0:09:09.640 uh And I was like, well, maybe I shouldn't go 0:09:09.679 --> 0:09:13.280 to Seattle because you know, it's the medical bills and whatnot. 0:09:13.320 --> 0:09:15.160 Even though I have pretty good insurance, you know, there's 0:09:15.160 --> 0:09:17.880 some bills, there's some other stuff's popped up here, so 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.920 probably shouldn't go. And you know, it's it's a fair 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:24.800 amount of money to travel Seattle. Well, Jay Scoop has 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:28.120 stepped up and he says, the Seattle chamber of the 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:32.079 Mallard Militia has decided they want to fly. They want 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:34.800 to they want to fly into the Emerald City for 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:38.040 this event. Now, I gotta tell you guesscan At first 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:41.439 I thought this was bullshit, right um. In fact, you 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:43.160 know he he said it on the show. I said, 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:45.600 now come on, you guys, you know you know what 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:49.320 it's gonna do that. Uh, But he emailed me and 0:09:49.440 --> 0:09:51.360 Jay Scoop, you know, he he could be pulling my 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:54.679 chain here. This could all be a scam, a practical joke, 0:09:54.760 --> 0:09:59.400 a gag, whatever. But it certainly sounds legit, and if 0:09:59.400 --> 0:10:03.920 it is legit offer I am seriously considering making the 0:10:03.960 --> 0:10:10.920 pilgrimage to Seattle for Mallard's stock, which is I'm excited about. 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:12.920 We did one of these in Boston back in April 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:16.280 at the Cask and Flagging right across from Finway, and 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:20.880 we had people from uh different countries. We had, uh, 0:10:20.960 --> 0:10:24.000 our guy from Toronto drove guy from Florida drove up. 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:27.320 We had somebody from I think it was Ohio. So 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:28.960 we we had people from all over the and all 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:32.920 the New England states where they're awesome. So you are, 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:38.319 you're whoring yourself out to listeners to visit their city. 0:10:38.520 --> 0:10:45.600 This is what it's coming down to. I am making 0:10:45.720 --> 0:10:49.679 dreams come true Gascon. I am shaking hands, I am 0:10:49.800 --> 0:10:55.040 kissing babies. I am giving photo ops for Instagram. Uh 0:10:55.120 --> 0:10:58.880 that is going. And unlike you, I believe in customer service. 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:01.880 I believe in customer services. If this is what the 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:04.960 people want, I will give them what they want. Uh. 0:11:05.040 --> 0:11:06.559 And as I said, I've done a few of these 0:11:06.600 --> 0:11:10.400 things over the years. Randomly did one in Pittsburgh, we 0:11:10.440 --> 0:11:13.720 did one in in Buffalo, we did one in Syracuse. 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:17.000 Um so we We've done them in a few cities. 0:11:17.000 --> 0:11:18.400 And then I've actually had a good time, even on 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:21.520 an introvert, I've really had a good time meeting people. 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:24.040 I know you you think that everyone's below you and 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:28.040 a peasant guest gun, but I do not. I appreciate 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:30.920 the people that listen to the Magic Radio Box. I 0:11:30.920 --> 0:11:32.240 want to tell you that the last time I was 0:11:32.280 --> 0:11:35.640 in Seattle had a wonderful time. I was actually traveling 0:11:35.640 --> 0:11:39.720 with the Dodgers. They played the Mariners. Uh there and 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:44.679 uh A Rod was still on the Mariners and the Sonics. 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:48.160 They they still existed the Seattle superside. So it's been 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:51.360 it's been a fair amount of time. That has been 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:54.679 a long time. Now. What happens if you get I mean, 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:57.440 think about this for a second. You I assume you've 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:01.840 watched the movie Braveheart. Correct, Yeah, long long time ago 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:04.560 when it was a movie. I watched it. Yeah, alright, alright, 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:07.559 bring that up because of this. What happens if you 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:11.120 decide to go to Seattle, you enjoy your time so 0:12:11.200 --> 0:12:16.040 much that someone, let's say in Houston, decides to invite 0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:19.120 you down or maybe to Phoenix. They invite you down 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:22.839 to Arizona and it turns into one of those situations 0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:25.400 where they invite you in they want to wine and 0:12:25.520 --> 0:12:30.240 dine you and to trap you. You got to smell 0:12:30.360 --> 0:12:33.520 the ambush. What happens if you get you see a 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:38.680 herd of you know, Kyler Murray or Deshaun Watson, famboys. 0:12:38.679 --> 0:12:40.960 I just want to lts you. They want to ambush you. 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:44.000 So they they see that you're whoaring yourself out, they 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:46.120 invite you to their hometowns and then let you have it. 0:12:46.240 --> 0:12:49.680 You're you're rolling to the Pacific Northwest without a security detail. 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:52.160 Be sure to catch live editions of the Ben Maller 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:56.080 Show week day, said two am eastern pm Pacific. I'm 0:12:56.120 --> 0:12:59.120 I'm wishing you the best. I'm a little fearful for 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:02.000 your your safe. But you know what, it kind of 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:04.200 just cased with the this is a great way to 0:13:04.200 --> 0:13:07.160 close out in twenty nineteen. The body of the tongue, 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:11.800 the gall bladder, the busted car um, anything else that 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:15.440 might that might pile up on the on the infirmary reports. Uh, 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:19.559 don't don't forget. Working with you is also a setback 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:25.240 in my career. I was in respected radio personality overnight 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:29.640 and my my public perception has gone down. Having to 0:13:29.679 --> 0:13:33.040 do this podcast with you hasn't really Yes, I am 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:37.320 thought of in a lesser light because of you. Many 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.640 people would like to duct tape your mouth shut. I 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.720 don't know if you know that, guests Scott Well, I 0:13:42.720 --> 0:13:44.880 I get a little bit of that, but I think 0:13:44.880 --> 0:13:47.480 it goes with the territory. Uh, this is a mob 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:50.280 rule at times on Twitter. I know that you have 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:54.280 suffered that that kind of uh, that kind of retaliation 0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:57.680 and that kind of betrayal from from Twitter followers. So 0:13:57.920 --> 0:13:59.640 I think it just comes with the territory. You can't 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:02.880 be you can't be loved by all. You're like a 0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:06.120 low level batman villain is what you are, you know 0:14:06.160 --> 0:14:07.800 what I mean, You're you're in that You're like a 0:14:07.800 --> 0:14:12.280 nefarious character on the show. And when you talk, it's 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.000 like it's an ominous thing when you talk. Now, you 0:14:15.120 --> 0:14:18.840 always The great thing about Gascon is that, like, unlike 0:14:18.920 --> 0:14:21.400 most people who do this for a living, uh, you know, 0:14:21.760 --> 0:14:24.960 you get a million people that compliment you, and you 0:14:25.080 --> 0:14:27.240 only worry about the people that are negative. Right, You 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:31.040 get like, you know, thousands of exaggerate even people said 0:14:31.080 --> 0:14:34.080 mostly positive things, but there's always like one schmuck, one 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:38.000 dick that sends something negative and then you obsessed with 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:42.120 that one person. Gascon's the opposite, Like you will forward 0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:45.880 me positive messages, like you get three or four people 0:14:45.920 --> 0:14:49.120 that love you, and you will take screenshots and you 0:14:49.160 --> 0:14:51.240 will send those to me. I mean, what a what 0:14:51.360 --> 0:14:58.680 a narcissist, What an absolute narcissist you are? Control. I 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:01.160 try to live in a positive world where it's all 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:05.400 about positive reinforcement and appreciation for what we do every day. 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.720 So I don't live in the the negativity of the dark Cloud. 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:12.040 That is the Ben Mallay Show overnights. So that's part 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:14.680 of the luxury of only performing during the daytime. So 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:17.520 I'm happy to do that, and they given times, so 0:15:18.480 --> 0:15:21.600 I appreciate the love it again. Yeah, you're like, you 0:15:21.640 --> 0:15:23.480 know what the strip club. If you go to the 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:25.760 strip the ballet during the day, that's where the ugly 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:28.600 strippers are. The good looking ones work at night because 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:31.160 that's where the money's made at night. And uh so 0:15:31.240 --> 0:15:33.880 you're like the daytime strippers what you are? Yeah, but 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:37.320 see they usually yeah, but they usually serve some pretty 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:38.760 good chili during the middle of the day and some 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:43.160 decent drinks. Uh, you can get some time, if you 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:44.920 know what I'm saying. Yeah, I just want to I 0:15:44.960 --> 0:15:47.600 want to eat some chili at the ballet as well. 0:15:52.800 --> 0:15:57.120 All right, let's get to the Handbook of Lazy Thanksgiving Radio. Now, 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:00.000 this is something I've usually do on the radio show, 0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:02.440 and I referenced it, but I feel like on the 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:06.600 podcast we have more time and we can expand on 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:11.000 the Handbook of Lazy Thanksgiving Radio. So I realized that 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:16.400 this podcast has dropped after Thanksgiving, but this will continue. 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:21.880 I've learned over the entire Thanksgiving weekend. These things tend 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:24.720 to happen. Uh So it's not like they all of 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.400 a sudden go away just because Thanksgivings over and it's 0:16:27.400 --> 0:16:32.240 Black Friday or college Football Saturday, or or the NFL 0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:36.240 on Sunday. Now, to me, and I'm a big critic, 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:39.120 I love radio. It's an art and audio art. It's 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:42.440 a disposable form of art. When done right, I believe 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:46.320 talk radio is the greatest form of entertainment there is. 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:50.240 When done wrong, it is the single worst thing in 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:54.400 the world. There is no worse entertainment than bad talk radio. 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:56.800 So I want to help my my friends out to 0:16:56.880 --> 0:16:58.600 do this for a living. So the worst of the 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:01.480 worst come out thanks Giving weekend, guestcout. So this is 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:05.800 my public service announcement to try to help you avoid 0:17:06.000 --> 0:17:11.080 listening to inferior and shoddy sports talk radio over the 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:14.879 Thanksgiving holidays. To understand, guess now you're probably part of 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:20.040 this um. But I want the listeners to be discerning customers. 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:23.800 All right, do you know what that means, guesstcon discerning customer. 0:17:24.280 --> 0:17:27.360 That means you don't have to buy everything you pick 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.800 and choose what you buy, right, Well, that's the world 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:32.040 we live in now, it's all about all a cart 0:17:32.720 --> 0:17:38.640 purchasing for drinks, for food, for entertainment, for shows, for 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:42.720 TV shows, and of course for radio. That's right. So 0:17:42.800 --> 0:17:46.360 here are some of the topics, but not all that 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.639 will show the person you're listening to in the radio 0:17:49.880 --> 0:17:53.679 magic radio box is a lazy ass who didn't do 0:17:53.760 --> 0:17:57.560 any show prep over the holiday weekend. All right. This 0:17:57.720 --> 0:17:59.840 is some of the actual talk. Now. I have not 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:03.480 done these. I've heard other people do these over the years. Uh. 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:07.440 The biggest sin is the talk shows that says, what 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:12.000 are you thankful for? In sports? Over Thanksgiving weekend? This 0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:15.479 is a son This is an evergreen cliche topic. What 0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:17.520 do you thankful for? You know what I'm thankful for. 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.040 I don't have to listen to some dumb talk show 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:23.080 host asked me what I'm thankful for? That's what I'm 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:29.800 thankful for? All right? Ridiculous? Now you heard you heard 0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:32.760 a lot of this. Uh happened last year when I 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:34.879 was on a specific show that correct Or was it 0:18:34.920 --> 0:18:37.600 two years ago? Oh no, no, this goes on. I've 0:18:37.600 --> 0:18:40.240 heard this for years. Uh how about this one? Who's 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:44.080 the biggest turkey in sports? That's uh, that's a play on. 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.119 That's the other the end of the yang. Right, you 0:18:46.200 --> 0:18:48.440 have what do you thankful for? Well, who's the bad guy? 0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:51.679 Who's the turkey game? Sports? You know? And uh that 0:18:51.840 --> 0:18:56.200 that's always amusing. Uh here's one which it crosses over. Now, 0:18:56.359 --> 0:18:59.600 next month we'll do the Handbook to Lazy Christmas Radio 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:02.240 and this will be part of that as well. Who 0:19:02.240 --> 0:19:06.200 would you like to invite to Thanksgiving dinner? Right? That's 0:19:06.680 --> 0:19:09.920 that's you. Who do you invite? It's just so stupid. 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:14.000 And then usually always bleeds over to will name somebody 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:16.480 that's either dead or alive that you'd like to have 0:19:16.560 --> 0:19:19.520 a Thanksgiving dinner too? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, And and and 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:22.560 then and then you the playoff that is you spur. 0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:24.479 You know they have they have thing called the topic 0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:26.359 tree where you start out with the topic and then 0:19:26.400 --> 0:19:29.000 you have these branches to the topic tree. I learned 0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:30.720 that from an old program Dart to the Great Mike 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:33.880 Thompson back in the day. But uh, you say, well, 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:36.760 you begin with the Lazy Handbook to Sports Radio as 0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:38.720 you start out by saying who would you invite to 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:40.959 thanks for Giving dinner? And then you say, all right, 0:19:40.960 --> 0:19:43.080 you've invited these people to thanks for giving dinner? Who 0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:50.199 gets extra helping suppie? Who gets extra helping PI? Have 0:19:50.400 --> 0:19:53.080 you have you ever been stuck on a show that 0:19:53.240 --> 0:19:57.760 is had a host lead that way into a segment. Uh? Yeah, 0:19:57.840 --> 0:19:59.760 very early in my career when I was doing local 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:03.399 video in San Diego and then at the sports station 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:06.400 in in l A. I was like the number two 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:09.359 guy working my way up, and I had to work 0:20:09.400 --> 0:20:14.119 with some guys that were blatant abusers of this, and Uh, 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:16.800 you could tell they just rolled out of bed. They 0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:20.159 figured out, no one's listening. It's Thanksgiving, and I I 0:20:20.320 --> 0:20:23.560 find that more people actually listen on the holiday. I 0:20:23.600 --> 0:20:27.480 know that goes against popular opinion, but uh, people are 0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:31.040 oftentimes they're they're with family, they want to get away, 0:20:31.160 --> 0:20:34.199 they're driving around to the store to buy something or whatever. 0:20:34.359 --> 0:20:38.840 And so I find the audience is pretty big on 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.920 on these holidays. And I've had Christmas shows where I've 0:20:41.920 --> 0:20:45.600 had full calls. Not that that's a great judge of things, 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:47.439 but there's people who want to be part of the 0:20:47.440 --> 0:20:51.200 show that call up the entire night. So you've you've 0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:54.119 got that as well. Uh. And one other thing to 0:20:54.200 --> 0:20:59.280 the Handbook of Lazy Sports Radio Uh, you've you've got 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:02.720 the thanks Giving weekend draft, have you? This is hacked 0:21:02.880 --> 0:21:06.439 radio is what this is. If you do, I've been 0:21:06.480 --> 0:21:09.879 a part of it. I have. I have reluctantly to 0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:11.680 admit it, but I have been a part of it 0:21:11.720 --> 0:21:15.040 on several occasions. Yeah. So when you do the Thanksgiving 0:21:15.040 --> 0:21:18.080 weekend draft, you've got the turkey, the stuffing, the sweet potato, 0:21:18.560 --> 0:21:23.760 the pumpkin pie, football, cranberry sauce, You've got ham and 0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:27.480 whatever else you want to throw out there. Uh, and 0:21:27.480 --> 0:21:29.760 and then you rank them. It's just it's it's list 0:21:29.880 --> 0:21:33.760 radio something gascon and it was ago and that's also 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:37.600 lame and dumb and and lazy and and all that. 0:21:38.200 --> 0:21:41.440 And so anyway, listen, if you hear these and fractions, 0:21:41.960 --> 0:21:46.120 please report them to the proper authorities, which would be me. Uh, 0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:49.160 and we will, we will adjudicate the guilty. And I'm 0:21:49.160 --> 0:21:51.400 sure no one at Fox Sports Radio will do these 0:21:51.440 --> 0:21:54.959 things or has done these things, because we're the number 0:21:55.040 --> 0:21:59.159 one sports radio network in America. Never would that happen. 0:21:59.560 --> 0:22:02.560 What if it does happen here on the podcast, guest gon, 0:22:02.840 --> 0:22:06.280 we will expose these people. Now what happened? Because you're 0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:10.359 not known to take shots at other colleagues within the building. Um, 0:22:10.400 --> 0:22:14.400 but I certainly am so if that does happened, how 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:16.159 do we report this and how do we bring this 0:22:16.280 --> 0:22:18.840 to life for the audience so people will send them 0:22:18.840 --> 0:22:22.720 into me? And since you're the conceded narcissist and you're pretentious, 0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:28.119 we will allow you to to announce the guilty. Okay, 0:22:28.160 --> 0:22:30.520 that way, I have plausible in the ability and I 0:22:30.560 --> 0:22:32.119 can say that I had nothing to do with this, 0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:35.159 and then you're the fall guy. Well you just acknowledge 0:22:35.280 --> 0:22:37.359 right now though, that you're gonna get the intel and 0:22:37.480 --> 0:22:40.440 pass it along to me. Yeah, but I just also 0:22:40.480 --> 0:22:42.359 announced that maybe I won't do it. I don't know 0:22:42.440 --> 0:22:43.919 for sure than them to do it. I mean I 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:45.760 might do it, maybe I won't do it. Maybe you'll 0:22:45.760 --> 0:22:48.239 come up with it on your own. Well you know 0:22:48.359 --> 0:22:50.800