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Speaker 1: You don't know me confession.

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Speaker 2: I can't take back earl Arms.

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Speaker 1: Speaker got a text seventy five ninety two that says,

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Speaker 1: as a father, I've never struggled more than last night

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Speaker 1: trying to explain to my four year old daughter why

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Speaker 1: she shouldn't name her stuff unicorn. Mister Horny, let her

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Speaker 1: name it horns. No, you don't understand. Life is a

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Speaker 1: struggle from parenthood to just naming your toys and everything

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Speaker 1: in between. So you need a safe space to let

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Speaker 1: off some steam. You can do it right here on

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Speaker 1: the Mass Speaker. We've got a guy who wants to

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Speaker 1: tell us one of his secrets, and unfortunately he doesn't

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Speaker 1: want to use the name Randy for some reason.

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Speaker 2: He better be mister Horny Marco instead.

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Speaker 1: So Marco, he's disappointed us, but welcome to the show.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, sorry, that means it's only up from here, Marcu,

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Speaker 2: It's only up from here.

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Speaker 1: We're good, bro, We've got the voice changer on. You

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Speaker 1: are the mass Speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.

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Speaker 3: So this story took place a couple of years ago.

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Speaker 3: My wife was up for promotion at her job, so

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Speaker 3: she had a dinner with her boss, and she invited

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Speaker 3: me to go along with her, and so I went

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Speaker 3: as a trophy husband that I am.

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Speaker 2: That is right. You know your role, sir, Make her

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Speaker 2: look good, make her look promotable, show some skin too.

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Speaker 3: Let me finish the story, and then then you tell

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Speaker 3: me if I made her look good. So we went

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Speaker 3: to her boss's house and was just me, my wife

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Speaker 3: and her boss. The boss was like this super powerful,

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Speaker 3: super strong, beautiful woman like in the fifties, Like she

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Speaker 3: can manage the room kind of presence when you walk in.

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Speaker 1: That's like Brook, that's like she walks room.

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Speaker 2: That was so nice. I think it's a very big call. Wait,

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Speaker 2: so it's just the three of you for dinner.

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Speaker 3: It's just the three of them.

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Speaker 2: Oh, that's really intimate.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a beautiful house, by the way, Like I study,

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Speaker 3: it was just what you would expect a boss's house.

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Speaker 2: To look like. Okay, you're like, honey, they got money

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Speaker 2: for this raise, all right.

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Speaker 1: He's continuing to compliment her even when he's not there.

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Speaker 1: And it's the times I've been our bosses like wow.

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Speaker 3: So we h we sit down and we have a

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Speaker 3: salad and then she brings out the steak. Now here's

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Speaker 3: the thing. I get a lot of flak from my

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Speaker 3: wife because I like my steak medium well and I

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Speaker 3: get it a lot of people.

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Speaker 2: And that's not the way you cook. Yes reaction, I

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Speaker 2: know you like steak ruined. That's okay, Yeah, that's.

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Speaker 3: That's the thing that everybody always judges me for that.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, are you gonna come me how I

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Speaker 3: should eat my stake? You know?

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Speaker 2: But here's the thing. You're at the boss's house. You

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Speaker 2: just eat whatever is put in front of you. You

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Speaker 2: don't ask for a change.

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Speaker 3: I'm with you on that, which brings me to this

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Speaker 3: part of the stories. So I've had a couple of

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Speaker 3: mediums before in my life and it's fine, I'll gild it.

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Speaker 3: But what this lady brought out? I mean, I thought

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Speaker 3: the cowboy was still going to be on the plane.

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Speaker 3: It was just so long. I think the fake passed

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Speaker 3: by over the skillet as a list.

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Speaker 1: The grill. So what did you do?

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Speaker 3: The wheels are turning and I'm thinking, do I tell

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Speaker 3: her that I'm a vegetarian? What do I say?

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Speaker 1: Say that?

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Speaker 2: You can't lie, and especially that's something you say before

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Speaker 2: you get to a meal, not during the meal, right.

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Speaker 3: So the lady gets up and she excused herself. She

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Speaker 3: was in the kitchen. I look over it and I

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Speaker 3: see there's an open window, and I'm like, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: ug this steak out of the window.

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Speaker 2: My god, the whole thing as if in a couple

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Speaker 2: of moments that she was away from the table, you

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Speaker 2: would have eaten it all. Look, I'm not a small guy,

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Speaker 2: so it's believable.

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Speaker 1: You just pray that guy one of the neighborhood, Oh

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Speaker 1: my god.

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Speaker 3: Did you do it?

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Speaker 2: Did you throw it out the window?

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Speaker 3: So I got up and then it was one of

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Speaker 3: those things like a shot put, you know what. I

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Speaker 3: wanted to frisbee throw this steak out the window and

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Speaker 3: stood and hits the window. There was no open window.

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Speaker 3: It was the cleanest window I had ever seen. My nice.

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Speaker 2: Oh one of the people have to have played windows.

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Speaker 3: And you just see like this blood stain on the window.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, are you just like wiping it with

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Speaker 2: your shirt? No.

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Speaker 3: I immediately run back to the table. The lady comes

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Speaker 3: out and goes well with dad, and I go, I

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Speaker 3: think a bird hit a window, And she says, oh no,

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Speaker 3: and then she went back into the kitchen. I cleaned

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Speaker 3: the window, so now my napping a super bloody and

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Speaker 3: the whole thing. My wife is killing me with her eyes.

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Speaker 3: She is now just shooting daggers at me. I've been like,

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Speaker 3: sit down and I'm trying to explain to her why

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Speaker 3: i can't eat this steak, and she's like, now you

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Speaker 3: have to, because there's no other thing I do now after.

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Speaker 1: It already hit the window and fell on the floor,

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Speaker 1: and now you have to eat it.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's more done now Jeffrey tender eyes.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so now I had to. I just wanted to

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Speaker 3: gag after every single bite.

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Speaker 2: Oh, my wife.

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Speaker 3: Would have talked to me for like two weeks. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then when she got the ring, she did get

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Speaker 3: the ring she got Yeah, but we still to this

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Speaker 3: day we don't talk about it.

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Speaker 2: That is insane. I just can't imagine that moment when

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Speaker 2: it hit the window.

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Speaker 1: Dude, you got so I was shook. I was.

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Speaker 3: At the velocity that I struck at. I for sure thought, oh,

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Speaker 3: it's gonna break the windows. But I didn't break the window.

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Speaker 3: That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: A story nine too. If you have a confession you've

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Speaker 1: been holding on to, we can hide your identity mask

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Speaker 1: your voice and make you the next mass speaker. Got

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Speaker 1: your phone tab coming up next?

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Speaker 2: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning,