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Speaker 1: Hey, ladies and gentlemen, Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.

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Speaker 1: titties out or not with us barefoot and pop in.

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Speaker 1: It's going to be beautiful. It's all inclusive. We take

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Speaker 1: or August tenth. Sexual Essentials will be there with us,

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Speaker 1: and so will trap Yoga Bay, so you don't want

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Speaker 1: to miss these special guests and of course us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica

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Speaker 2: and I'm Meila. Happy Wednesday by Happy hump Day. How

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Speaker 2: are you, my love? I'm good? How are you?

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Speaker 3: I'm good?

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Speaker 2: My hair is pink, guys, dyed my hair paint because

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Speaker 2: I'm going through a thirty life crisis. To me thirty

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Speaker 2: four years to do this finally, did it. I've always

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Speaker 2: wanted to do it, even back when I loved Chalise,

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Speaker 2: I wanted to do this. Yeah, it's giving me. My

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Speaker 2: mom wouldn't let me do it. But here I am

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Speaker 2: with pink hair. So make sure you subscribe to our

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Speaker 2: YouTube channel. If you have not yet, you're missing out.

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Speaker 2: We could be watching all of these beautiful, wonderful episodes

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Speaker 2: making news. Pink hair is in this pink hair. Pink hair.

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Speaker 1: So and I have long hair, so you should come

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Speaker 1: see We've had We've done the hair switch ups.

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Speaker 2: We're doing the hair switch up? Or is this a

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Speaker 2: thirty life crisis. I'm just kidding. Okay, you know it's.

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Speaker 1: Just BlackGirl magic.

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Speaker 2: I could change that. How are you? I'm doing good.

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Speaker 2: I'm doing good.

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Speaker 1: A lot is happening this week, and I'm just trying

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Speaker 1: to stay grounded and grateful and all of the things.

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Speaker 2: But I'm good. So you guys, you know it's June,

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Speaker 2: and all June, we have been highlighting the Zaddy.

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Speaker 1: We've blessed you this month with all the Zaddies, all

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Speaker 1: the fun zaddies we could find, hi love. We personally

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Speaker 1: sourced every single Zaddy in our friends circle and beyond

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Speaker 1: to bring you a blessed June.

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Speaker 2: Various ages, various people from all different walks of life.

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Speaker 2: We wanted to really highlight dads because.

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Speaker 1: And just the male perspective, because you know, we gotta

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Speaker 1: we have that little bit of balance over here, you.

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Speaker 2: Do, because we are just going in with the divine, and.

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Speaker 1: You know, the divine feminine really really requires the welcoming

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Speaker 1: and the opening for the divine masculine. It's very necessary.

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Speaker 1: We all have to hold space for each other.

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Speaker 2: Amen. So anyway, I'm happy to introduce Jared.

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Speaker 1: You guys doing.

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Speaker 2: He is the host of Enjoy the podcast. Yes I am,

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Speaker 2: and he is also our girl, sham Boudrum's baby daddy,

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Speaker 2: husband almost father of two.

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Speaker 3: Congratulations, your hair matches the light. That's the part of

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Speaker 3: the pink, you know. And my office is pink and green.

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Speaker 3: So oh it's like AKA colors. Yeah, we're all we're

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Speaker 3: all in lineming here, Okay.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah. I think I was like, do I need

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Speaker 2: to start wearing pink? I was like, this kind of

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Speaker 2: goes with everything it does. It's neutral. I had purple

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Speaker 2: last week and I hated it. So originally started with

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Speaker 2: purple and then I said no.

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Speaker 1: The pink is definitely your legs. Purple was not it,

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Speaker 1: but this is it.

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Speaker 2: It was looking kind of gray.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I was like, is this gray?

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Speaker 1: I don't I see like a little bit of the

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Speaker 1: purple still, like underneath a little bit. So it's kind

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Speaker 1: of giving ombree vibes.

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Speaker 2: Really, Oh my god. Okay, then I really am living

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Speaker 2: out my Collie dreams because she had a specific photo

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Speaker 2: like a.

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Speaker 1: Little orange and I see that like and she had

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Speaker 1: a little orange in it too.

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Speaker 2: Shout out to Kalise. Can we get Kalise on the show?

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Speaker 2: Someone who knows Kalise? Can you call her? Actually?

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Speaker 1: Last time, every time we asked for someone, someone's like,

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Speaker 1: oh I do know that person.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, color my god, I.

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Speaker 3: Hate you so much right now. I remember being you

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Speaker 3: consider that I love song.

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Speaker 2: I fucking loved that song. I considered a love song,

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Speaker 2: like you know, it was like a scorpio love song.

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Speaker 2: And also, uh, I just want to below with you.

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Speaker 2: Try me because I'll be the one that makes you happy.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that video was yeah when she was that was

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Speaker 1: the video. That's what I really remember.

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Speaker 2: It was all dirt. I don't want to know. Okay,

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Speaker 2: please someone find Kalise so we can sing it. Do

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Speaker 2: you go to her farm?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, that'd be great. It's done already, did,

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Speaker 1: It's done?

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Speaker 2: Sorry?

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Speaker 3: Ared here, I'm enjoying it.

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Speaker 1: It's a show. It's a free show. I think those

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Speaker 1: songs might have been a little bit before your time outkay.

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Speaker 1: I mean, here's the thing.

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Speaker 3: Kalise was a moment in time, So even if it

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Speaker 3: happened before me, it's going to bleed over.

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Speaker 2: That's true. You got to go back to that every

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Speaker 2: time because.

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Speaker 1: You're hell are you?

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Speaker 3: I'm thirty years old?

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Speaker 2: When's your birthday?

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Speaker 3: October seventh?

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Speaker 2: Oh my October baby?

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Speaker 3: Is that good?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm an October baby?

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Speaker 3: Okay? Sweet? So what Libra? And I am a Libra

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Speaker 3: the twenty fifth? I'm a scorpio, your scorpio. I'm a

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Speaker 3: cancer cancer. I'm asking. I know what they mean.

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: You've never dated a bitch that told you all about

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Speaker 2: the sign.

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Speaker 1: Not even everybody.

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Speaker 3: It'll be online people, people will be you know, Oh,

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Speaker 3: you're a Libra. That means that you're this, You're that.

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Speaker 2: Into the stars and the moons. No oh, I feel

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Speaker 2: like I feel like she'd be.

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Speaker 3: Like, this is I'm not either.

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Speaker 2: It actually makes sense.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can see her.

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Speaker 2: She's a realist.

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Speaker 1: Matter of fact, I read a book about it and

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Speaker 1: don't it doesn't matter. No, she she doesn't.

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Speaker 3: She doesn't rock with it. I don't rock with it,

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Speaker 3: but I respect it because the way I look at

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Speaker 3: it is like, if the moon can create tides, it

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Speaker 3: probably does something to us. But does that mean that

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Speaker 3: I'm an asshole or I'm like balanced, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't think an asshole is generally like a standard

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Speaker 2: description of a sign. I think people will make other assholes.

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Speaker 3: Every time that someone guesses my son or ask me

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Speaker 3: my sign is and I tell them libra, they always go, I.

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Speaker 1: Mean, honestly, my baby, my baby, that is his birthday

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Speaker 1: right before yours. You see, that's that's PSD.

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Speaker 2: I know some really great male libras, like they're all

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Speaker 2: you guys are you guys are kind of can navigate

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Speaker 2: at least I'm not going to read you. But this

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Speaker 2: is my experience with libras is that you guys navigate

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Speaker 2: alone really well, Like you can go out to the

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Speaker 2: movies by yourself, Like you can totally just like do

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Speaker 2: your own thing. You're fucking cool to just do that.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, uh, you guys are a little weird,

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Speaker 2: not weird, this could be any time. Like they're just odd.

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Speaker 2: There's some like oddities they're into, like some odd things

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Speaker 2: like I'm sure you.

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Speaker 1: Don't know you like your other stuff like your moon

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Speaker 1: and your.

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Speaker 3: Well, actually I was born on the eclipse and so

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Speaker 3: a libra libra. Yeah, so we had I had someone

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Speaker 3: read us our whole cast, and you know, they were

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Speaker 3: they were going in and talking all their ship about me,

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Speaker 3: and they say, uh, I couldn't understand it.

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Speaker 1: So I was telling them.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know what you're saying right now,

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Speaker 3: because you're telling me all these things and your house

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Speaker 3: is here and this is that, and I was like,

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Speaker 3: I can't understand it. So I can't do anything with

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Speaker 3: the information that you're getting me.

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Speaker 2: They weren't explaining it. Well, you have to go to

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Speaker 2: someone that really knows how to break it down. Well,

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Speaker 2: because I agree because I've read the charts.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what the fuck? What does this mean?

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Speaker 2: My seventh house is where? And why does this matter?

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Speaker 2: But we got a reading in Costa Rica. Shout out

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Speaker 2: to Sylvia and Cestra. She's actually going to be on

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Speaker 2: our retreat in Costa Rica natal chart readings, and she

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Speaker 2: was the first woman that really was able to break

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Speaker 2: down things for me in clear fashion, like this means

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Speaker 2: this is like this is your wound, this is like

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Speaker 2: what you're working through in this lifetime. And like I

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Speaker 2: think that was like my north node and like the

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Speaker 2: seventh House represents like emotions or this how you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean and broke it down in simpler terms.

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Speaker 2: It's like astrology for dummies.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I need right there. I need or

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Speaker 3: just tell me, just say, hey, watch out for this.

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Speaker 2: Well, how do you think you are?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: Who do you like? How would you define yourself?

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Speaker 3: I would say that I'm emotional but creative. Also, I think.

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Speaker 2: You're like emotional. On what we're like sensitive or I.

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Speaker 3: Don't think I'm sensitive, but I feel a lot I have.

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Speaker 3: I can describe what I'm feeling. I have like a

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Speaker 3: really good conflict resolution, you know when disagreements happened. I'm

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Speaker 3: easy to work with. But I also feel that I

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Speaker 3: also have like a like an X factor about me

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Speaker 3: because it's like there will be something that somebody does

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Speaker 3: that would just turn me off from them, but it

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Speaker 3: could flip. So, yeah, well, like I'm nice and easy going,

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Speaker 3: I'm easy to work with, but then there's also a

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Speaker 3: part of me that's like a workhorse that will like,

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Speaker 3: if you're not showing up at the same level, I'll

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Speaker 3: probably like you'll see a different side of me, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I don't know. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know how to answer. That's a heavy question.

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Speaker 3: How would you describe yourself?

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Speaker 2: Are you asking me? Yeah, I would say that I

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Speaker 2: am hard working. I would say that I can be intense,

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Speaker 2: but I can also be very like airy, like I'm down,

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Speaker 2: I'm down for the adventure for me, Like I'm a realist, Like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: does this make sense? Yeah, Like, sometimes it doesn't always

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Speaker 2: have to make sense, but generally I like things to

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Speaker 2: make sense. Yeah. I think that I am very intuitive

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Speaker 2: and because of that, like my energy can shift a

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Speaker 2: lot constantly, So sometimes people find it hard to read me.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes I'm like really open, and sometimes I'm.

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Speaker 3: Like, is that in line with a scorpio? Yeah, I've

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Speaker 3: dated too scorpios before, shan one of them destroyed me,

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Speaker 3: one of them destroyed me.

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Speaker 2: Forget please forgive me? Do you know what? Though, Like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know this woman, and I don't know where

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Speaker 2: she was at the time. An unhealed scorpio, and granted

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Speaker 2: we're not all healed, but like the ones that are

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Speaker 2: really toxic, we have fucking nuts. Yeah, we are not

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Speaker 2: good people at all.

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Speaker 1: You hear that it's your fault.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, girl, I'm telling you it's it's true. Like we

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Speaker 2: can really be dark. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So the second one was was great. She was like

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Speaker 3: the total opposite and I destroyed her. I wouldn't say

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Speaker 3: it was. It wasn't calculated, but she was the person

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Speaker 3: that did it after, so it could have been.

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Speaker 2: It was passive aggressive, it was sub conscious.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe it wasn't. It wasn't premeditative, but yeah, it

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Speaker 3: was bad.

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Speaker 2: You know, my other Libra male friend, he's really good

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Speaker 2: at the cutoff game actually that I'm thinking about it,

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Speaker 2: Like when he's really he's emotional too, actually, but then

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Speaker 2: when he's done, he's like, yeah, I'm good.

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Speaker 3: It's like it's true.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true. My mom's a Libra, but I think

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Speaker 2: men and women are different.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Maybe what Shan is a aries.

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Speaker 1: It makes sense very fire and air my m Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: will astrology's choices astrology we always ask all of our

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Speaker 1: guests to come with an affirmation. So, Jered, did you

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Speaker 1: bring an affirmation for us today?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I don't know if it's an affirmation.

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Speaker 3: Actually I never actually given myself an affirmation. But what

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Speaker 3: I will say is that I do live by the

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Speaker 3: saying that I want to be synonymous with enjoy and

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Speaker 3: and know it sounds weird, but that what I mean

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Speaker 3: by that is that when you think of joy, when

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Speaker 3: you think of enjoying anything, I hope that I'm creeping

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Speaker 3: up in the back of your head when you think

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Speaker 3: of that word, you're like, Jared enjoys life. Jared is

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Speaker 3: enjoy you know. So I don't know if that's an affirmation.

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Speaker 2: I want to benonymous with enjoy. I really like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, Yeah, like yeah, she's enjoy Yeah.

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Speaker 3: You know. I want you have the picture in your

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Speaker 3: mind when you think of me, of me smiling.

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Speaker 1: It's like being synonymous with pleasure, you know, like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: like it's a pleasurable experience to be around that person.

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Speaker 1: They're always like pleasurable, theresure synonymous with pleasure. I want

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Speaker 1: to be synonymous with pleasure like that. I want to

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Speaker 1: be just always finding the pleasure and all the things.

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Speaker 1: And however, I'm moving through the world because there's just

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Speaker 1: so there's so much pleasure. Handle smells good, this sage

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Speaker 1: hanging with friends, drinking wine, taste good, laughing.

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Speaker 2: We had a good laugh earlier. Got good. Do you

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Speaker 2: feel like Because I now that you say that, I'm

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Speaker 2: taking note to all your brands and they always kind

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Speaker 2: of have that peace in it. The joy part is,

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Speaker 2: is that something that you've always found easy to access?

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Speaker 1: No, So I.

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Speaker 3: Came up with that, I guess affirmation when I did

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Speaker 3: a bag of mushrooms and I ate a bunch of

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Speaker 3: mushrooms and I was just chilling in my apartment and

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Speaker 3: I was just thinking about the word enjoy and my

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Speaker 3: life was shit like it was like terrible, poor broke,

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Speaker 3: you know, no, nothing going good in my life. And

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Speaker 3: something in my head kept telling me, you got to

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Speaker 3: enjoy this shitty time, like you have to enjoy this.

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Speaker 3: You have to enjoy this so that you can enjoy

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Speaker 3: when it's great. And it just made that word mean

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Speaker 3: so much to me because I used to think of

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Speaker 3: enjoy of like I'm only gonna feel enjoy when it

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Speaker 3: hits me. When I'm like, man, that was a good

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00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,600
Speaker 3: that was a good experience. But now I'm like constantly

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Speaker 3: looking for the ways, like what do I enjoy? Or

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Speaker 3: if there's something in my life that I don't enjoy,

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Speaker 3: how do I get rid of it? You know? And

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Speaker 3: so from that point on, if I ever get into

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Speaker 3: a space where I'm like, I don't like what's happening

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Speaker 3: in my life, I'll write down a list of everything

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Speaker 3: that I like and what is stealing that joy from me,

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Speaker 3: and then I'll go through that list and be like,

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Speaker 3: what can I what is in my control to get

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Speaker 3: rid of. So if it's like a lot of people

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Speaker 3: don't like this, but if it's like, man, I don't

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Speaker 3: really like the way I look in the mirror, like

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Speaker 3: I need to start working out and that thing can

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Speaker 3: start to get off my list, or you know what,

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Speaker 3: I don't like the way that this part of my

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Speaker 3: creative process is going. Okay, let me change the steps here,

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Speaker 3: let me cross that out my list, and then just

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Speaker 3: kind of get and start eliminating anything that's stealing the

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Speaker 3: joy from me. And that's that's kind of like where

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Speaker 3: it came from. And I don't think I would have

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Speaker 3: thought that if I wasn't.

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Speaker 2: High Wow, that it all makes perfect sense.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it does.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like it sounds like a.

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Speaker 1: Good system to eradicate the bullshit all the things that

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Speaker 1: don't bring your joy.

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Speaker 2: You know what, you have to be ready to face

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00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:47,600
Speaker 2: that some of those things are like things you want

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Speaker 2: to change and you.

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00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:51,200
Speaker 3: Can't keep, or the ones that you can't control, so

337
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,840
Speaker 3: you have to like acknowledge like, Okay, there's certain things

338
00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,920
Speaker 3: like I don't like that I can't buy this car.

339
00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,000
Speaker 3: You're like, you can't control that completely, but you can

340
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,160
Speaker 3: and you can make steps to like get to that space.

341
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,639
Speaker 3: Or I don't like the way that my relationship is

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Speaker 3: with my mom, and it's like sometimes that's just the

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00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,960
Speaker 3: relationship and you're either gonna have to find the good

344
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,879
Speaker 3: things in it or or let it go. But as

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00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,280
Speaker 3: long as you start to get on that list and

346
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:14,239
Speaker 3: being like, there's there's things on here that I do

347
00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 3: have control over, and if you start to control those things,

348
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:19,560
Speaker 3: then you're like, Okay, now life is getting a little better.

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Speaker 2: You know, that relationship with your mom that you don't like,

350
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Speaker 2: you don't enjoy some of the what are the things

351
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Speaker 2: that you actually do enjoy and how do you cultivate

352
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,720
Speaker 2: that and only allow those parts.

353
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Speaker 3: Into your the way your interaction with her is now,

354
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Speaker 3: It's like I love when we when we talk about food.

355
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Speaker 1: Let's just let's stay there, let's.

356
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Speaker 3: Just say let's do it.

357
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Speaker 1: I mean, if you know someone's trying to beer the

358
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,680
Speaker 1: conversation and argue or some shit, I'm not talking to

359
00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,080
Speaker 1: you about that.

360
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:53,600
Speaker 3: That's true exactly.

361
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:58,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you for sure. I recently I took a kind

362
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,320
Speaker 2: of a break from them because I was kind of

363
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,200
Speaker 2: avoiding mushrooms for a while. I don't know why. I

364
00:18:03,359 --> 00:18:05,879
Speaker 2: was like I felt like I was I was going

365
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,680
Speaker 2: to face something I didn't want to face, or something

366
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,159
Speaker 2: that's part of it, right, And it was like I

367
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 2: didn't know what it was, but I just kept avoiding it,

368
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,800
Speaker 2: you know. And I was like, oh, you know. And

369
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 2: then actually the other night we went out and we

370
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:21,200
Speaker 2: went to our girl's birthday and she was passing out

371
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 2: mushrooms after dinner, and like I knew it was coming

372
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Speaker 2: because she basically like was like, we're going to get

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Speaker 2: the mushroom debt and I was like, and then she

374
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:34,680
Speaker 2: passed it and I was like, okay, I'll take a

375
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,000
Speaker 2: little bit. It was barely any I swear to God,

376
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,200
Speaker 2: but I ate it and it was it was chocolate

377
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,000
Speaker 2: and usually.

378
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,959
Speaker 3: Oh, I had those like chocolate bar thing and they

379
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:42,880
Speaker 3: have like little squares.

380
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like.

381
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,800
Speaker 2: I've had chocolate before and generally I actually like chocolate

382
00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:49,440
Speaker 2: because I feel like it really helps mask the taste.

383
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 2: But this ship tasted so fucking nasty, like I ate

384
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:56,000
Speaker 2: it and I was like, oh no, it tasted like

385
00:18:56,080 --> 00:19:00,359
Speaker 2: barf that it was really bad. But it was bad.

386
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:02,879
Speaker 2: It tasted bad. Then I should have known that it

387
00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 2: was really strong. It tastes so bad because I really

388
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 2: didn't take a lot and then and I had eaten

389
00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:13,000
Speaker 2: like dinner, and then we went outside and I was like, oh, yeah, okay,

390
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,879
Speaker 2: and then I was like I'm still not going to

391
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:15,439
Speaker 2: get jigging.

392
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,280
Speaker 1: I'm going home.

393
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I went home.

394
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 2: And then I like got in the car and I

395
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,960
Speaker 2: was like, I started crying, and I was like, why

396
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,680
Speaker 2: am I crying? I was like, this is I've been avoiding.

397
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 2: And I was like I need to just face the

398
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,639
Speaker 2: mushrooms and face the music, and you face the mushrooms.

399
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,240
Speaker 2: And so I recently decided that I'm going to start

400
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,119
Speaker 2: microdosing because I was for a while, especially during COVID

401
00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 2: and it helped me so much. Yeah, just to kind

402
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:42,280
Speaker 2: of ease my anxiety, a help me be more present

403
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,240
Speaker 2: because I struggle with being present always kind of.

404
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,359
Speaker 3: Like, well, you got a business, you got the podcast,

405
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:49,480
Speaker 3: you probably got you know, you got a full kid.

406
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:51,400
Speaker 3: You know, you got a lot on your plate. So

407
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,040
Speaker 3: it's hard to be in the moment with yourself when

408
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,120
Speaker 3: you're your entire world is thinking about how do I

409
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,439
Speaker 3: give to these things? Right, It's something I've battle with,

410
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,840
Speaker 3: you know, doing all the things that we're trying to do,

411
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,199
Speaker 3: and then while having a kid, it's like you're giving

412
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 3: everything to that kid and then you don't have anything

413
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,080
Speaker 3: to give to yourself, and then you're getting lost in

414
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 3: that shuffle. So I can relate to that and like

415
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 3: something that I've been you know, talking to Shan with

416
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,679
Speaker 3: like I don't want to get be that couple that

417
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 3: takes the love that started this whole thing and then

418
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:23,159
Speaker 3: created this child and give it to the child. I

419
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:24,920
Speaker 3: want to give it to the child, but pour everything

420
00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 3: into the child, and now we have no love for ourselves.

421
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:29,159
Speaker 3: They're no time for ourselves. And then you know, you

422
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,919
Speaker 3: see all these people who once the kid gets older

423
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 3: and moves out, and does their own life.

424
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Speaker 1: They don't even know each other anymore. We're like, who

425
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,200
Speaker 1: are we right? What are we even here for?

426
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 3: Now that now the kid's going, I don't know why

427
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,480
Speaker 3: we're even still together. It's because they gave all their

428
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:44,680
Speaker 3: love to the kid.

429
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 2: Well that's what we're supposed to do, like give it all.

430
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 1: And if you don't, like you're selfish and you're weird,

431
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 1: like God forbid, you go like take time for yourself,

432
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 1: like I'm doing some shit, you know, like I need this.

433
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,240
Speaker 2: I mean, you actually love your kid more when you

434
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 2: do that too. So right, people always always like I've

435
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,360
Speaker 2: had people judge me and say it is your kid,

436
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,200
Speaker 2: your kid is number one, Like you know, you preach,

437
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:08,639
Speaker 2: can you preach all this ship and da dah dah

438
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,919
Speaker 2: da da. But like I'm like, yeah, yeah, she's not

439
00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 2: number one. No, I love her and she is. She

440
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 2: has changed my trajectory. I've I've you know, she's my

441
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,880
Speaker 2: best friend. However, I'm no good to her if I'm

442
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,719
Speaker 2: not number one mutually and if my relationship or you know,

443
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 2: especially your marriage. I mean I don't know anything about marriage.

444
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,080
Speaker 3: Ain't different. It ain't different. That's the thing too. People

445
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,160
Speaker 3: got all confused. I don't know.

446
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 2: Anything about I guess coupled partnership and raising a human

447
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 2: because that's not my experience.

448
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: You don't get a break. Yeah, you're with you are

449
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,400
Speaker 1: all together as a unit majority at the time when

450
00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 1: we're in a place like we've done that, but it's

451
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,560
Speaker 1: so far gone now, like we do get to drop

452
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 1: them off where you don't really get to have a

453
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: weekend and it's normal, like where the fuck.

454
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:55,960
Speaker 3: Are you.

455
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 1: Exactly, whereas we have the opportunity to have the tapic

456
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 1: like oh, okay, oh this is me, this is what Oh,

457
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 1: this is what I do on my days off.

458
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, what actually are some ways in which I think

459
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 2: I'm interested in the male perspective on this, Like what

460
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 2: are some ways that you are you kind of make

461
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 2: space in your relationship in that way?

462
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's all about intention Like we have to be

463
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:22,840
Speaker 3: super aggressive and intentional about scheduling time for us, and

464
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,280
Speaker 3: it's it gets to a place where you you got

465
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,719
Speaker 3: you get so caught up in life that you don't

466
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 3: plan for yourselves and our situation. That's like getting a

467
00:22:34,359 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 3: babysitter on Thursday so that we can go out and

468
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,960
Speaker 3: actually be together and not think about the child that

469
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 3: time right, or being intentional about that. It's it's I

470
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 3: usually say, you know, fighting back at life right because

471
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 3: life is trying to make you it's bitch, and be like, no,

472
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 3: you're not gonna have time for yourself. You're not gonna

473
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 3: have time for your wife, You're not gonna have time

474
00:22:57,040 --> 00:22:59,840
Speaker 3: for anything other than what I tell you you're gonna

475
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 3: have time for. And I used to fight back on

476
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 3: that and be like, all right, we just put the

477
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 3: kid to bed. I know we've been up since six.

478
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,160
Speaker 3: I know that we've been going all day working doing

479
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 3: all these things and we're exhausted and the number one

480
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 3: thing that we want to sleep, but fuck that. Let's

481
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 3: stay up, Let's watch a movie, let's have some good sex,

482
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,199
Speaker 3: and then we go to sleep. And that's like a

483
00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 3: fight back on life because I'm like, I know I'm tired,

484
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,520
Speaker 3: but life thing't gonna make me a bitch.

485
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 1: I'm tired. I'm gonna I don't forget this ship and

486
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 1: the reason this.

487
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, No, I love that.

488
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 2: I feel that's really cool that that that you do that.

489
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 2: I think that it's hard to sometimes it feels you

490
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:45,719
Speaker 2: really do have to fight because life will fucking make

491
00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 2: you so exhausted. Yeah, I mean maybe, I mean my

492
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 2: relationship was gonna end regardless, but like there were moments

493
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: thinking about that, like I really didn't fight that much.

494
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,400
Speaker 2: I was tired, and I was just like, and if

495
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 2: you don't have another partner that's also fighting, yeah, it

496
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:01,720
Speaker 2: kind of makes it impossible or someone that's at least

497
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,200
Speaker 2: gonna like, okay today I'm fighting. Yeah, like I got

498
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 2: this today. Okay, I got this, my baby, let's do this.

499
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 2: You know. I think that, uh, that's probably the secret

500
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 2: to marriage.

501
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it's marriage is like I mean relationship, relationship. Yeah,

502
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,679
Speaker 3: Like I feel like relationships, especially when you have another

503
00:24:18,720 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 3: life in the world, is all about if we're both

504
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 3: thinking how do I make your life easier? If we're

505
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 3: both thinking that our life is gonna be easy because

506
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,639
Speaker 3: we're both doing things for each other, that is gonna

507
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 3: make the life easier for each other.

508
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,439
Speaker 1: So simple for that guys, And I think people sometimes

509
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,119
Speaker 1: think if you're making life easier for someone else, and

510
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:44,520
Speaker 1: either like there's self sacrificial in ways, like maybe you're

511
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,560
Speaker 1: not doing something for yourself, but if it's mutual, then

512
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 1: everyone's making sure we get taking care of as a unit.

513
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you'll get that day. So like, well we'll

514
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:56,320
Speaker 3: have talks to be like what's your what's your ideal schedule?

515
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 3: Looking like how much me time do you want? How

516
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 3: much us time do you want? And how much do

517
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 3: you want for like us as a family, And then

518
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,280
Speaker 3: like Jo ask me the same question and I'll tell

519
00:25:05,280 --> 00:25:07,359
Speaker 3: her like this is my ideal schedule and this is

520
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,439
Speaker 3: your ideal schedule. How do we make these work so

521
00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 3: that we both get what we want? And in those

522
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 3: schedules are me time because like it's I can't love

523
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,639
Speaker 3: you the right way if you don't give me space

524
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 3: to be independent. Yeah, everything we do is together, and

525
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 3: everything that you do is together with me, and it's

526
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,000
Speaker 3: like we're just one person and that's not fine. And

527
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,200
Speaker 3: I want to be with somebody that experiences life a

528
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:32,600
Speaker 3: little bit different than me. I want to be with

529
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 3: someone that has their own experiences and independence. Like the

530
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 3: last thing I want is to own a human.

531
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like I don't want to

532
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,679
Speaker 1: You're not my woman.

533
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 3: You're a woman who loves me right, and I love you,

534
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 3: and so like you always hear that term like oh

535
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 3: my man, you're like I am because I choose, but like,

536
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,200
Speaker 3: I'm not your man, you know what I mean, We're

537
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 3: both individual humans who are going through life together and

538
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,919
Speaker 3: we just love each other, right, you know.

539
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 2: I think like you and Channe also, like you guys

540
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 2: have began your relationship with that idea too. Write I

541
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 2: remember watching a clip of you guys when you guys

542
00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:10,199
Speaker 2: were talking, or maybe Shan was talking about I think

543
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 2: it was right before you got married, and it was

544
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 2: like one plus one does an equal to it equals three? Yeah,

545
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 2: And I loved that concept of that idea, and I

546
00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 2: never really like, I guess like imagine that in my

547
00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 2: head and I was like, oh my god, this makes

548
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 2: total sense. Yeah, this becomes its whole new entity. Yeah,

549
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,439
Speaker 2: and like I am still singularly my own person. You

550
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,080
Speaker 2: and I don't die when you leave.

551
00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 1: Yeah.

552
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:37,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like you and I the person that the

553
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,199
Speaker 3: version of myself that I am from being in a

554
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:43,400
Speaker 3: relationship with you would have never existed if we never

555
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,159
Speaker 3: got together. So like, you're not we're not making like

556
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,520
Speaker 3: we're not making one. It's just like a whole other entity.

557
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 3: And I did like that concept and it felt natural.

558
00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 3: I mean, given the way that we started. We started

559
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,479
Speaker 3: by just being fuck buddies. So the entire intent was

560
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,440
Speaker 3: you are your own human, I'm my own human, and

561
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 3: we're just the thing that connected us was sexual chemistry,

562
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:11,200
Speaker 3: you know, which was cool. It allowed us to approach

563
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 3: the relationship with like one hundred percent honesty without fear

564
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 3: of judgment because it was just kind of like, you're

565
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 3: I am not trying to impress you. You know, when

566
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 3: you meet someone that you're really in love with or

567
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,359
Speaker 3: you're like, oh man, I really want to be with

568
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 3: this person, You're like propping up the best parts of

569
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 3: yourself and like hiding the worst parts, and you're like

570
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 3: trying to like how do I say everything correctly so

571
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 3: that she thinks I'm interesting or all this stuff, and

572
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 3: it's like, no, the thing that got you interested in

573
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 3: with me is just great sex. That's not going anywhere

574
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 3: whether you find anything about me that you don't like

575
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 3: that we have great sex. And so the willingness to

576
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 3: just put my entire self on top of that table

577
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 3: and her doing the same thing allowed us to like

578
00:27:56,359 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 3: grow a relationship of her knowing my authentic full self

579
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,960
Speaker 3: from the jump, which made our relationship just way better.

580
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 3: It's like, I'm so tempted to give the people the

581
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:09,840
Speaker 3: advice to like start with, but it is so.

582
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 1: Bad Starvest fuck buddies.

583
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,760
Speaker 3: It will be a success, You'll be like, but if

584
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 3: it is hard, because I also know that there's there's

585
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,840
Speaker 3: an evil side to that, to that story.

586
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 1: I don't know. I agree. I think like we talk

587
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,600
Speaker 1: about this, like not starting with the expectation of forever,

588
00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, yeah, I think the

589
00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 1: most successful relationships are ones where you're like brutally honest,

590
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 1: like that's what I did last night, you know, because

591
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 1: you're right, they're inevitably like no matter how authentic you are,

592
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 1: when you go on a date and thinking someone's super

593
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: hot or they're impressive, you are ways are being performative.

594
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 1: You're not gonna put all the ship on the table,

595
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: like I mean, I don't really have a lot of

596
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: space because all our ships on Instagram. But we kind

597
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: of have to do that just so they are not

598
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 1: scared later. But let me show you some ship. But

599
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,600
Speaker 1: I think people do that and they get into this routine.

600
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,360
Speaker 1: You know, you like someone, you get all giddy for

601
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,720
Speaker 1: each other, you spend all your time together because that's

602
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 1: what's fun in the beginning. But then they forget to

603
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: come up out of that like that warp and then

604
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 1: do their own thing. And so when someone starts to

605
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 1: do things outside of you, you're.

606
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,760
Speaker 2: Like, hey, where are you going? Which, oh, I'm not

607
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 2: invited yeh.

608
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 1: But like last week I went to the game like

609
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 1: with the way like some ship like and then all

610
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 1: these like human you know, emotions come up that are

611
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: not really healthy because you've gotten so caught up in

612
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: this ritual of always being together and yeah, like and

613
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: it's ways performing and it is it's harder to like

614
00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: start to like someone and being like kind of attracted

615
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,760
Speaker 1: in love and have good sex and then be like okay,

616
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,760
Speaker 1: let me let me just tell you, you know what

617
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 1: I mean. Like, it's it's much easier to be like

618
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 1: I don't give a fuck, like this is what it is.

619
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: You're having sex? You don't really, I'm not.

620
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 2: I'm not playing for you to keep me.

621
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think a lot of women especially have

622
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 1: to do that, like.

623
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 3: Well men do it too, But you know what, I

624
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 3: can't you know what this is.

625
00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 2: This is a bad message, Jared. I know I don't

626
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:04,200
Speaker 2: agree with this. That's first I want to say that

627
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:07,280
Speaker 2: I think that dick good dick and good pussy, mostly

628
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: good dick. I think as women were just we're just

629
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 2: controlled by this our vaginas in ways.

630
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 1: I know you are, for.

631
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 2: Sure, but I know I feel like we get lost

632
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,720
Speaker 2: in the sauce a little faster though, And so like

633
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 2: if you if you're, if you're fuck buddies and it's

634
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 2: purely based on sex. I think women have a way

635
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 2: of compartmentalizing. But over time, we're gonna start do I

636
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: love you?

637
00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:31,959
Speaker 3: Well? Why do you think that is so? So like

638
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 3: if we unpack it a little bit and we dive

639
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 3: a little bit deeper, like I agreed.

640
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 2: And accept certain toxicities, and reality is about that person

641
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,840
Speaker 2: that they don't really shouldn't they shouldn't accept.

642
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,960
Speaker 3: True, But like if you dive, if you keep going

643
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 3: underneath that, it's like, yes, there is stories of people,

644
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:50,000
Speaker 3: you know, getting into fuck buddy relationships and then it

645
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 3: ending terribly right, But did they come into that in

646
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 3: the start thinking I actually am very interested in this guy,

647
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 3: and I'm going to accept being a fuck buddy because

648
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 3: that's what he says he wants so that I can

649
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 3: give him this good pussy so that he eventually and

650
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,000
Speaker 3: then on top of that, get hurt. Yeah, and then

651
00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 3: you get hurt. But on top of that, it's also like,

652
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,200
Speaker 3: you know, I always have this thing of like the

653
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 3: times that I've been in toxic relationships and the times

654
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 3: that I've gotten into very bad situation is because I

655
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 3: was not completely healed in myself. Like there's times even

656
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 3: like recent like you know, there'll be like a vibe

657
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 3: between a woman and like there's something that I'll feel

658
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 3: or I'll see a red flag that I'll be like,

659
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,560
Speaker 3: you know what, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna go

660
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 3: into this. Yeah, I'm not even gonna entertain this because

661
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 3: I have like a certain level of of I guess

662
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 3: healing that I'm not like subjecting myself to certain things

663
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,880
Speaker 3: that I know might end terribly. And so I'm not

664
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 3: saying that that there's not obviously very manipultive dudes out there,

665
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 3: But if a dude comes and you guys are connecting

666
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,959
Speaker 3: and he's just like this is what I am willing

667
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 3: to give is just X At certain point, is there

668
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 3: like accountability on the woman's side to be like I

669
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 3: don't really I'm not even allowing that. I don't want that.

670
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you have to be mature and have to

671
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 1: say I want this and you don't want that. Yeah,

672
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: because a lot of times we find secretly they're like okay,

673
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: and then they're getting hurt and like low key abused

674
00:32:17,320 --> 00:32:20,200
Speaker 1: because they're saying they can handle something. However, on the

675
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 1: on the opposite end, what I will say is, for sure,

676
00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: bitches do that, like I'm aa cook, I'm gonna do this,

677
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wash his clothes and then he's gonna fall

678
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: in love with me, and then Nick's Joe and they're mad.

679
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: But on the flip side, a guy will say, I

680
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:34,120
Speaker 1: don't want to be your man.

681
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:36,840
Speaker 4: You know, I'm just doing a boyfriend activity hunt all

682
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 4: day every day, doing all the things, showing pulling up

683
00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 4: at the house every day, eating dinner with the family,

684
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 4: you know, like gifts for the kids, buying kids for

685
00:32:46,520 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 4: the kids.

686
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 3: Like yeah, like there is well he's doing boyfriend activity.

687
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 1: He's not.

688
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,480
Speaker 3: He's not open holding his agreement from the jump.

689
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 1: So I think that's where, you know, and then when

690
00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: the bitch starts catching feelings and you're like he's like

691
00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 1: whoa who look at like wondering where you're leaving on Saturday,

692
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: not coming home like or whatever, the next day and

693
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,720
Speaker 1: you're like, what you mean, I told you you know

694
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Like, I think it plays on both ends,

695
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 1: you know, it's I think, I don't know. We're all

696
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 1: parents agree that like humans are just like innately a

697
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 1: little manipulative.

698
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 2: One thousand percent one thousand percent, especially babies and children.

699
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 3: Oh that's their survival tactic. But like, no, I agree,

700
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,920
Speaker 3: like there is there is that. But I think that,

701
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,680
Speaker 3: I mean, maybe I could be completely naive to this,

702
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:32,920
Speaker 3: and I just feel that I can't see myself getting

703
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:37,479
Speaker 3: into a relationship today with somebody that I know is

704
00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 3: pulling a super manipulative tactic. Right, that's like saying this thing,

705
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 3: but their actions are saying another thing. And I would

706
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 3: see that and be like, you know what, this may

707
00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 3: not be a great agreement. The reason why Shannon and

708
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,320
Speaker 3: I work so well in the beginning is because we

709
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 3: both upheld our agreement. I wasn't leaping over, we weren't cuddling,

710
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:58,120
Speaker 3: we weren't pillow talking, we weren't talking about the future.

711
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 1: Shan totally seems like the type of moment listener fu buddies,

712
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 1: you leave, you leave after it, don't cuddle me.

713
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 2: Let's not talk about.

714
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 3: It all the way to the point where she would

715
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 3: never text me.

716
00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 2: First she told you she was not gonna text you.

717
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 3: She tell me this, but but yeah, she never.

718
00:34:13,000 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 2: Rules of buddys.

719
00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,279
Speaker 1: She she knew what it was.

720
00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:19,240
Speaker 3: And so I and I've definitely been in fuck buddy

721
00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 3: relationships prior Shan. That never worked out because neither one

722
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 3: of us are holding up thing to you to become more.

723
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 2: She become more appealing because thousand I told she got

724
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 2: to play the game I told.

725
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 3: I told Shan, I said, I said, this is terrible,

726
00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:36,920
Speaker 3: but like you know, she she know what it is.

727
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 3: I was like, you know, when we started having sex,

728
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 3: I didn't know that you would be like future. I

729
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 3: never looked at you that way. I looked at the

730
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 3: situation like dang, like there's a sex ologist. I'm about

731
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 3: to go and learn some few things. And then after

732
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 3: a few months, when this dwindles out, then I'm gonna

733
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:56,319
Speaker 3: know a little bit.

734
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: More about sex. And then now my sex life is good.

735
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 3: I was trying well with two kids married, But.

736
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:08,959
Speaker 1: It's a mutual exchange. I'm going to get some moves,

737
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: We're going to entertain each other. Then it's a mutual exchange,

738
00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 1: just like we're using each other.

739
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 3: So and she used me to she was reading books

740
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:17,960
Speaker 3: and doing things and she didn't get to do before,

741
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 3: and so she was trying out things, you know, she

742
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 3: was learning on the same time.

743
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 1: Her little like like, you know, it's so true because

744
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: I think I told this, like I have a fun

745
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,840
Speaker 1: buddy and very same like very like minimal other stuff

746
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,080
Speaker 1: other than sex, like we'll shoot the ship, I have

747
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:37,480
Speaker 1: a drink. And I was like, all right, But one

748
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:41,320
Speaker 1: time he did like sleepover and it was like iddled

749
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:42,800
Speaker 1: me a little bit, and at first I was annoyed

750
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 1: and then like kissed me when he left, and I

751
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:45,399
Speaker 1: was like, is he cool?

752
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:53,160
Speaker 3: Yea, My mind started to tricks on me, which is understandable.

753
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:56,360
Speaker 3: Though it's understandable, like it makes sense. And that's the

754
00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 3: thing is, like I don't think that I'm ever trying

755
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:00,919
Speaker 3: to demonize the person that falls for someone that's pulling

756
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:04,000
Speaker 3: these manipultive tactics because they work, and they've been working

757
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 3: for centuries, you.

758
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:05,120
Speaker 1: Know what I mean.

759
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,200
Speaker 3: It doesn't it doesn't mean that you're a terrible person

760
00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:10,480
Speaker 3: or you're a person that just can't see red flags.

761
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, they're like dark

762
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:14,880
Speaker 3: psychology for a reason. There's a reason why you know,

763
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 3: these tactics work. You know, do you.

764
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:21,319
Speaker 1: Think that they're asking for myself? Do you think that

765
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: when we because okay, you said like dating someone and

766
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 1: then seeing red flags and be like, oh, I'm cool.

767
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 1: Do you think that when we see red flags and

768
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 1: we lean into it, it's like the unhealed parts of

769
00:36:32,239 --> 00:36:36,479
Speaker 1: ourselves Because I've seen such toxic red flags and I'm like, run,

770
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: run towards it, you know what I mean. Yeah, Like

771
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,600
Speaker 1: but then you come in, but sure finally walk the

772
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,839
Speaker 1: fuck away because and then that's where like that high high, high,

773
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 1: high high comes from. Because even you're talking about your

774
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: relationship with Shan, it's like I can imagine, like, so

775
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 1: it was a slow and steady build up. You are

776
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: like acting crazy, you know what I mean. It wasn't

777
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: some all the time thing obviously, So I think sometimes

778
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,279
Speaker 1: like this, like the slow and easy love, like those

779
00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 1: are what you need to look out for. It doesn't

780
00:36:58,640 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 1: have to be something high high more.

781
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 3: Sometimes, you know, toxic sex is fun, Like we can't

782
00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 3: deny it. You know, facts is from scientific there's a

783
00:37:08,520 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 3: you know, I have this story where like you know,

784
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 3: me and my ex were getting to a crazy argument

785
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 3: and she hit me with a car. What after she

786
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 3: After she hit me with the car, we went up

787
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:25,759
Speaker 3: and had sex. Whoa, and it was awesome sex. No,

788
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 3: it wasn't that I didn't get like ran over like words,

789
00:37:34,440 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 3: but but we were we were arguing. It was it

790
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 3: was in the car and I got out the car,

791
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 3: you know, you know how it is, get out the car,

792
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 3: like I ain't funk with this ship no more. Get

793
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 3: out the car. And then she's like trying to take off.

794
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 3: But I went to the front and not the back way,

795
00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,680
Speaker 3: and so when she took off, she hit me with

796
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 3: like she like bumped me.

797
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.

798
00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:50,960
Speaker 2: So, no, I don't know that's crazy.

799
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,240
Speaker 3: You're never like you trying to speed off in an argument.

800
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, I know.

801
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 3: I'm not the only toxicigure in the room right now.

802
00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,960
Speaker 1: Careful, I'm like, I don't.

803
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:01,680
Speaker 3: In the heat of the moment you met.

804
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 2: Pa Jared, I'm shocked you seem so calm.

805
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,799
Speaker 1: You know we're talking about like exposing his toxicity. I

806
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 1: know everybody thinks like Jared is just you know, but

807
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 1: he confessed he's a little toxic.

808
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's your most toxic trait? I know a lot

809
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 2: of people are weary about therapy.

810
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 1: Don't be.

811
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 2: It is the bomb and it will help you. And

812
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 2: that's why I'm so excited that Betterhelp is sponsored this

813
00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 2: episode and is bringing easy and affordable therapy options to

814
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:33,360
Speaker 2: you worldwide.

815
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 1: I've been in therapy and I love it. They specialize

816
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:40,040
Speaker 1: in depression, stress, anxiety, relationships, and so much more.

817
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:43,399
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818
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:48,799
Speaker 2: professional counseling done securely online. You'll get timely and thoughtful responses.

819
00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:53,240
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820
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,080
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821
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 2: as a listener, you'll get ten percent off first month

822
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:05,719
Speaker 2: by visiting our sponsor at betterhelp dot com slash choices.

823
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:10,920
Speaker 1: That's Better Help h e LP dot com slash choices.

824
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,759
Speaker 1: Join over one million people who have taken charge of

825
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:24,399
Speaker 1: their mental health today, Happy healing.

826
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 2: You, super healed or no, No.

827
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 3: I have talked to you know what it is?

828
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: You know? I got it. I got it.

829
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:26,399
Speaker 3: I figured it out.

830
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: When we're in a disagreement, we have to end the argument.

831
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:36,240
Speaker 3: Like I can't just let it go, Like we can't

832
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,480
Speaker 3: like if we're like in a disagreement of like whatever

833
00:39:38,520 --> 00:39:41,120
Speaker 3: it may be, Like, it's really hard for me to

834
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 3: go to sleep mad, and it's really hard for me

835
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 3: to leave the argument, like without coming to some kind

836
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:46,360
Speaker 3: of resolution.

837
00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: Do you do you have to be right or do

838
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,640
Speaker 1: you just want to come to a resolution resolution. I

839
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: don't have to be right every time.

840
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 3: It is because space is good.

841
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:57,000
Speaker 2: It is toxic. The other person doesn't want that, like

842
00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 2: they're not ready for that. And then it's being forced

843
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:01,800
Speaker 2: upon you because I've experienced that because he was toxic

844
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 2: and he was crazy. But did you go to sleep man?

845
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 1: Go to sleep man?

846
00:40:05,880 --> 00:40:08,560
Speaker 2: Sometimes there's no resolution and you guys need to just

847
00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 2: shut the fuck up.

848
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:11,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, because now we start arguing about Now we're arguing

849
00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 3: about shit that don't even matter. We started working about semantics.

850
00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 3: You know, it starts getting into like you said this, now,

851
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 3: I said that. No, yesterday, two forty five, you said this,

852
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 3: and so it gets into the we're like what do

853
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 3: we We're not even arguing about that real issue anymore.

854
00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:30,760
Speaker 1: Well, so I'm curious because you went from like getting

855
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: hit by a car, like by a car to like

856
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,840
Speaker 1: savage like toxic sects. And now you're like this evolved

857
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: version of yourself with Shan, and you like, you know,

858
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 1: like texology terms, you know, Like I'm curious, was it, like,

859
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,600
Speaker 1: you know, maybe getting hit by the car or what

860
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 1: made you break away from your toxic Were you just tired?

861
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,879
Speaker 1: He said, I'm this is not or like I need

862
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: to know what shifted or is that how you recognize

863
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: when Shan was totally fucking saying dealing with others?

864
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:03,799
Speaker 3: No, it's funny because I don't think that, you know,

865
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 3: I have this struggle all the time of like you

866
00:41:10,200 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 3: get become alone and you heal and then you find

867
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:15,919
Speaker 3: your person. But like I really found myself through that relationship,

868
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,839
Speaker 3: through that, through that that type of interaction with Shan,

869
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,040
Speaker 3: you know, I was already on track, you know what

870
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:22,799
Speaker 3: I mean. I was I was at I was at

871
00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 3: the place where I was honest. I was at the

872
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 3: place where I was like, I don't want a relationship.

873
00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 3: I don't want to do this. But that's not all

874
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:33,279
Speaker 3: the way healthy sometimes. But through the relationship with Shan,

875
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 3: it was like, oh, like we can be one hundred percent,

876
00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:41,359
Speaker 3: one hundred percent honest with each other and we're not

877
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,959
Speaker 3: really arguing like that, like you're not really mad right now,

878
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 3: Like so it just became like healing. Like I would

879
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 3: say that I'm not this super evolved person that just

880
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,600
Speaker 3: like magically changed. I think I'm very similar to where

881
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 3: I was. But I think the difference is that I'm

882
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 3: in a relationship that's not fun me out about the

883
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: toxic shit. That's kind of like it's getting ahead of

884
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:07,320
Speaker 3: the toxic shit. You know, like we're we're talking about

885
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 3: it openly. You know, there's a level of transparency that

886
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 3: wasn't in prior relationships, right.

887
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, And I just had an epiphany.

888
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 1: I think, ladies, if you're listening, I think when you

889
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:20,880
Speaker 1: get a get a man like that his later twenties,

890
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: right before the thirties, I'm feeling like, if they're smart,

891
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 1: if you get a young smart one, you can like

892
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 1: teach them and guide them, like Shandon.

893
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,800
Speaker 2: Just fat out fact honestly.

894
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:32,959
Speaker 1: Like Orlando's like when I met him was like twenty nine.

895
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:35,399
Speaker 1: You know. Now i'e thirty one, strong, thirty one. He's

896
00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,239
Speaker 1: talking on podcasts. Podcasters are smart. They're doing a lot

897
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:42,160
Speaker 1: of talking. I'm literallying daily, literally, I mean I told

898
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:43,799
Speaker 1: you me andn't I don't have a conversation. And I

899
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 1: was like, why do you think this is so easy?

900
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,440
Speaker 1: We're communicating all the time and talking about our feelings

901
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,799
Speaker 1: exad because we're both podcasters. Baby, we're mature and we're

902
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 1: learning all the time. And I was like, you're right.

903
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,640
Speaker 1: We're in the school of podcasting, it's independent podcast studies,

904
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,600
Speaker 1: and we're always talking like, let's evolve.

905
00:42:58,640 --> 00:42:59,839
Speaker 2: What do you think about this relationship? Do you think

906
00:42:59,840 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 2: abot this?

907
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:01,839
Speaker 1: What do you think about that? And it's like the

908
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:06,319
Speaker 1: most like fucking annoying, talkative, fucking relationship. But here we are.

909
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 1: This is what you need to do. You need to

910
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 1: find an early thirties, late twenties podcast here and mold

911
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: them and tell them the game and they have to

912
00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:17,160
Speaker 1: be ready to absorb and then they get a husband.

913
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 3: There's some fuck boys that at forty years old though, So.

914
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying, that's why you get them when

915
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,279
Speaker 1: they've been around, like they have a lot of young

916
00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: peatures that are crazy and then now you're like, let

917
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,080
Speaker 1: me show you the way. You know, you're like, let

918
00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 1: me show you. When it's like I'm saying, I'm gonna

919
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 1: be honest, and then they'll be like, huh, this is

920
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:36,080
Speaker 1: kind of cool.

921
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, mesmerized, you know.

922
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:41,000
Speaker 1: I just I broke the code.

923
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:51,759
Speaker 2: Yeah wow later only two hundred plus episodes, thank you.

924
00:43:52,760 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

925
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 1: I never I never thought that I wanted to date

926
00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 1: like someone who talked as much as me.

927
00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,400
Speaker 2: But you know, like get the content.

928
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 3: Do you talk a lot of off air? Uh?

929
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:04,880
Speaker 2: No?

930
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:07,200
Speaker 1: Sometimes we could be quiet, but if you talk a lot,

931
00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:09,200
Speaker 1: like in general, I do, especially when I get excited,

932
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 1: really excited about a topic. Yeah, sometimes I shut the

933
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: fuck up. Oh yeah, but sometimes after talking for so long,

934
00:44:16,239 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 1: I'm like.

935
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, see, I'm like, I like being quiet a lot,

936
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 3: like if I'm in social environments around people or you know,

937
00:44:25,040 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 3: but if I'm around like friends or or even chant,

938
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 3: sometimes she's like, fucking speak, yeah, talk, and I'm like,

939
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 3: you don't understand. Like, I just like watching you. I

940
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 3: like being in your presence because the way you just

941
00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:41,359
Speaker 3: atee that spaghetti, Like I learned so much about you.

942
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:45,200
Speaker 3: I actually enjoy watching you do normal stuff. I enjoy

943
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:48,680
Speaker 3: just sitting in silence with you, watching you blink, watching

944
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 3: you do things, because that just expresses things to me

945
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,399
Speaker 3: that you can't even tell me and so, but she's

946
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 3: just like I hate it, Like I want to talk,

947
00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:59,799
Speaker 3: you know, but we talk too, but at the same time,

948
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 3: like I get the most time together when we're just

949
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,280
Speaker 3: like chilling. Yeah.

950
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 2: I think I'm similar in that way too. It's like,

951
00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:08,359
Speaker 2: I mean obvious, I'm a podcaster, so I fucking talk

952
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:12,960
Speaker 2: for a living. But I like silence. I'm definitely an observer.

953
00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 2: If we can't sit in silence, then it makes me nervous.

954
00:45:17,120 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 2: I feel like I have to like, oh, yeah, you

955
00:45:18,920 --> 00:45:20,480
Speaker 2: have to be able to sit in silence, like I

956
00:45:20,520 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 2: have to keep talking now, like what I don't want

957
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,480
Speaker 2: to talk? Yeah, And then I'm like, what the what

958
00:45:24,480 --> 00:45:25,719
Speaker 2: do you have to talk about? Shut the fuck up?

959
00:45:26,160 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 2: Like I just I just I feel like I feel

960
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 2: like if you can be still with someone and not

961
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:36,799
Speaker 2: have to say much, you know, like.

962
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 3: It means more to me. I mean it's not for everyone, Yeah,

963
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:43,360
Speaker 3: it means a lot. It's just dope. It just shows

964
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,399
Speaker 3: me all the like small bits and pieces of you

965
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 3: that you probably don't even realize in yourself, you know.

966
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,760
Speaker 2: So I know in your like you're married, our father

967
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:57,160
Speaker 2: of you know too, Okay, do you know if you're

968
00:45:57,160 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 2: having another girl.

969
00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 3: We're having a girl.

970
00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:02,120
Speaker 2: You're in the house the whole lady.

971
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, they out number me, know, yeah.

972
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:11,320
Speaker 2: Woke little babies, a little woke baby, little feminists.

973
00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're they're they're they're deep right now.

974
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 2: But when you and Shan start as fuck budd you

975
00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:20,359
Speaker 2: guys are so entered into like an open relationship too, right, yep?

976
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 2: And then is your marriage open? Is that something that

977
00:46:22,680 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 2: you Yeah, it's weird.

978
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:27,839
Speaker 3: It's like we're not like I'm not like we're not

979
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 3: doing anything right now because we're just so busy. You

980
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 3: got the baby and everything. But our relationship has not

981
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:36,880
Speaker 3: changed since the start, just the titles, I guess and

982
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 3: the more that we share. You know, it's a long life.

983
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:45,840
Speaker 2: Do you feel like it's shifts, Like obviously relationships go

984
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:49,200
Speaker 2: through shifts, and like you might be more heavily you know,

985
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:52,399
Speaker 2: active in your openness, you know, early on, and then

986
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 2: you know, you get do you find closeness and then

987
00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 2: maybe kids get involved in things. Do you think that

988
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,080
Speaker 2: I mean, this might be a silly question, but like

989
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:04,359
Speaker 2: not practicing your openness makes you get farther and farther

990
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 2: away from it.

991
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 1: That's a good question.

992
00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 3: Maybe I probably you know, it's like it's almost like

993
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,839
Speaker 3: fighting for your relationship or like like we were talking

994
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 3: about earlier, like fighting to stay in this in this.

995
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:16,479
Speaker 2: But what is fighting to stay open?

996
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 1: Like somebody? But I no, you know what it is.

997
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 3: I think when you're when we were younger, there was

998
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,160
Speaker 3: a lot more opportunity to meet more people. There was

999
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,879
Speaker 3: a lot. It was just there was more opportunity there.

1000
00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,680
Speaker 3: I think right now with you know, even with going

1001
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,600
Speaker 3: through the pandemic and then now we have a child

1002
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:38,279
Speaker 3: and another one on the way, there's like a lot

1003
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,760
Speaker 3: more demanding at the home and what we are creating

1004
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 3: together that I just don't think there's that as much opportunity.

1005
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,080
Speaker 3: But the idea and the fundamentals of our relationship is

1006
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 3: still the same. So if if opportunity presented itself and

1007
00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:56,359
Speaker 3: we both vibed with it, then it wasn't It's not

1008
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:57,120
Speaker 3: an issue.

1009
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:01,319
Speaker 1: Do you guys play together? Have you guys? We haven't

1010
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 1: done anything together. We've talked about it.

1011
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 3: There's been potentials, there's been you know, situations, but we

1012
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:11,000
Speaker 3: haven't actually both done something together with somebody.

1013
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,560
Speaker 1: Have you ever been to a sex party? No?

1014
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 3: But we actually we almost went to one, but I

1015
00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:20,799
Speaker 3: think what happened was like, because what happened we got

1016
00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:22,640
Speaker 3: invited to one or maybe we looked one of the

1017
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 3: all internet or something. I don't know have it, but

1018
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:26,759
Speaker 3: we found something we were going to go to one

1019
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,000
Speaker 3: early on when we were first started dating. But I

1020
00:48:29,000 --> 00:48:30,920
Speaker 3: don't remember what happened. We ended up not going. We

1021
00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 3: always wanted to, we never just ended up going, though.

1022
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think I think that relationships obviously

1023
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 2: like they're lad. I don't want to make it sound

1024
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:40,640
Speaker 2: like you have to fight just keep your marriage open.

1025
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:43,720
Speaker 2: I was just curious. I was just curious how that works,

1026
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,040
Speaker 2: especially I mean now that you do have kids, and

1027
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,120
Speaker 2: it's not something that they maybe would be accustomed to

1028
00:48:49,200 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 2: experience of you as parents, And I don't even know

1029
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:53,640
Speaker 2: like how you would navigate that. Maybe you've had that

1030
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:56,960
Speaker 2: conversation about how you would navigate openness as far as

1031
00:48:57,040 --> 00:49:00,560
Speaker 2: like introducing like people to your children or if it's

1032
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:04,720
Speaker 2: be kept separately then like because you're not actively open

1033
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,400
Speaker 2: them them being like, wait, hold up, what is this

1034
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:08,880
Speaker 2: hold on?

1035
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:12,120
Speaker 3: Weird? I hear that, And it's something that people have

1036
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 3: asked me before, you know, even before we even had kids.

1037
00:49:15,239 --> 00:49:18,880
Speaker 3: They're like, but what are you children? And it's like yeah,

1038
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:23,040
Speaker 3: oh god, yeah, but it's like forbid, do do do

1039
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 3: people who are not open? Oh? Thank you? Do people

1040
00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 3: who are not open do they like at a certain

1041
00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:32,880
Speaker 3: age be like, so mommy and daddy are having sex,

1042
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:34,640
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like we're not.

1043
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 1: I'm not.

1044
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 3: We're not sharing our sex life with our kids like that,

1045
00:49:38,360 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. We're educating our kids on sex,

1046
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 3: but we're not being Like so Mommy was.

1047
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 2: Well, wouldn't be like necessarily sex, I mean just even

1048
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 2: showing affection to you know, like other people, other people,

1049
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 2: like you know, Like, I don't know, I don't know

1050
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,440
Speaker 2: how you guys navigate with just your regular friendships. So like,

1051
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 2: do you like like hugging a woman, Like would it

1052
00:49:57,400 --> 00:49:59,440
Speaker 2: be uncomfortable to see daddy hug a woman and give

1053
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,920
Speaker 2: her kiss on the mouth or even a kiss on

1054
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:03,280
Speaker 2: the cheek, Like is that awkward?

1055
00:50:03,600 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1056
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1057
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:05,120
Speaker 1: I don't.

1058
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 2: I don't.

1059
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 3: I haven't really thought about it. I mean I know

1060
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:10,759
Speaker 3: that that's just like I'm not like that right now,

1061
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.

1062
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:13,759
Speaker 1: Usually, if there was.

1063
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 3: Something that was crossing a line, I usually would have

1064
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,200
Speaker 3: wouldn't even do that in front of you know, my kids.

1065
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm not sure. I haven't really thought about that.

1066
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 3: It's a great question.

1067
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:26,960
Speaker 2: What's your type?

1068
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:28,319
Speaker 4: I don't know.

1069
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,640
Speaker 2: I had a type, Like I'm going to be open

1070
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:36,600
Speaker 2: right now today, if you're gonna fight to keep it open.

1071
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:39,520
Speaker 3: You know what it is? I like, you know, I

1072
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 3: like confident. You know, women who are sure what they

1073
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 3: want and what they what they want to have in

1074
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:51,960
Speaker 3: the experience. It's I like older women. You know, not

1075
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 3: nothing against younger women, but I just older. I mean

1076
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 3: everybody out did has always been older.

1077
00:50:58,560 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: Than me by how many years?

1078
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 2: Like? What's the look five?

1079
00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:03,560
Speaker 3: I mean, shen is I don't want to put it.

1080
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:04,520
Speaker 3: I don't even do that.

1081
00:51:04,719 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 1: I go do that right now.

1082
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:09,520
Speaker 3: Oldest woman you've dated dated.

1083
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:12,560
Speaker 2: Okay whatever dated dated, dated dated.

1084
00:51:12,640 --> 00:51:14,840
Speaker 3: I think the oldest was like six or seven years older.

1085
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:21,600
Speaker 3: When I was younger in high school, like I was,

1086
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 3: there was like a thirty six year old that I

1087
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 3: was messing with.

1088
00:51:26,719 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 2: In high school. Yeah, you look like a baby now

1089
00:51:29,239 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 2: right now, little baby.

1090
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 1: No, I just graduated.

1091
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:33,880
Speaker 3: I was like eighteen.

1092
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:35,760
Speaker 2: I can still imagine you looking like a little baby.

1093
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:36,839
Speaker 3: I did, I did?

1094
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 1: Was it?

1095
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:38,200
Speaker 3: Was it?

1096
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:38,720
Speaker 2: Your teacher?

1097
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 3: Uh no, I don't no, no, no, not a teacher,

1098
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 3: but it was a it was just a woman.

1099
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:49,840
Speaker 2: Where the did you mean?

1100
00:51:50,840 --> 00:51:51,880
Speaker 1: Is this your porn category?

1101
00:51:51,880 --> 00:51:53,400
Speaker 2: Are you like in MILFs and like teachers?

1102
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:56,759
Speaker 3: No? No, I When I was younger, I was definitely

1103
00:51:56,920 --> 00:51:59,279
Speaker 3: was going into the older category. But I think that

1104
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 3: now it's just it's more about like the maturity and

1105
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 3: experience rather than the age, you know what I mean.

1106
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:07,000
Speaker 3: So I think that's what I was searching for when

1107
00:52:07,000 --> 00:52:10,719
Speaker 3: I was younger, was just somebody guidance, guidance, you know,

1108
00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 3: but not even how don't even call it guidance, Just

1109
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:16,680
Speaker 3: something somebody with some maturity and experience. Yeah, that's something

1110
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 3: that was just different than what I was experiencing at

1111
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 3: the time.

1112
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 1: Which were bitches that were maybe running over with you

1113
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 1: off with cars. Yeah, well I can see different. I

1114
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 1: don't care about none of these. I got no time,

1115
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 1: you know. I feel like I'm learning so much about

1116
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,239
Speaker 1: you so quickly. I think we have a game that

1117
00:52:41,239 --> 00:52:44,239
Speaker 1: we play with our guest called Trigger, so we get

1118
00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:46,879
Speaker 1: to know you even quicker. I'm going to say one

1119
00:52:46,880 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 1: word and then you respond the first thing that comes

1120
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 1: to mind. You don't have to think about it. Too

1121
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:52,640
Speaker 1: much and be brutally honest. Even if it's toxic. We

1122
00:52:52,680 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 1: accept you here, toxic or not.

1123
00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 3: I've been, I've been. I've been honest.

1124
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:57,920
Speaker 2: Think it okay?

1125
00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 1: Fatherhood, Uh, great monogamy, it's cool. Boxers or briefs, boxers, idole.

1126
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:11,960
Speaker 3: American.

1127
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,399
Speaker 2: Most spontaneous thing you've ever done?

1128
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:19,920
Speaker 3: Skinned up in ocean.

1129
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 2: Kevin Samuel's. Yeah, bad habits.

1130
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 3: Uh love McDonald's.

1131
00:53:29,440 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 2: Fish filet. No, the only thing that on the menu.

1132
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:43,240
Speaker 1: Marriage It's great, Molly, I've done it.

1133
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:46,920
Speaker 2: Favorite Strand.

1134
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:52,440
Speaker 3: Indica Strand? Is that.

1135
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:57,400
Speaker 2: Strand strange? I'm like, is that a merger? Shannon?

1136
00:53:57,920 --> 00:53:59,319
Speaker 3: You have to be like, does it have to be

1137
00:53:59,360 --> 00:53:59,839
Speaker 3: like the name?

1138
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:00,319
Speaker 1: Hm?

1139
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, no, I I don't know. You

1140
00:54:04,680 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 2: know it's it's a strange and yeah, it could be.

1141
00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:09,600
Speaker 2: I guess could be either it's again.

1142
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:13,120
Speaker 3: You know you got.

1143
00:54:14,520 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: I'm high from earlier and I'm about to keep getting high,

1144
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:17,560
Speaker 1: so I don't really need you.

1145
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:17,879
Speaker 2: Wait.

1146
00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:19,439
Speaker 1: Can I tell the story about when I was high

1147
00:54:19,680 --> 00:54:21,440
Speaker 1: and I ordered the coffee and I tell everybody that

1148
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:24,680
Speaker 1: you tell me, I'll tell you later.

1149
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:25,400
Speaker 2: It's so stupid.

1150
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 1: Stay at home, dad, I'll do it. Black women love it.

1151
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:43,440
Speaker 1: Happily ever after. It's true white women, one time, one.

1152
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 2: Time, one time, one time, I will even one in

1153
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,360
Speaker 2: my life. Really, you're from the valley?

1154
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:51,880
Speaker 3: No, well, my dad lived in the valley, but I

1155
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 3: lived in the I e.

1156
00:54:53,760 --> 00:54:56,080
Speaker 1: Not me being shocked really in the valley, Like I'm

1157
00:54:56,120 --> 00:54:57,240
Speaker 1: not a black woman from the valley.

1158
00:54:57,520 --> 00:54:59,160
Speaker 3: My brothers from the valley. He said he'd only been

1159
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:04,759
Speaker 3: with two. Where's your brother at brother? Really he's twenty three?

1160
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 2: Turn on.

1161
00:55:09,040 --> 00:55:13,280
Speaker 3: Aggressive mm hmm, turn off messy.

1162
00:55:14,040 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 2: Favorite porn category.

1163
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:22,719
Speaker 3: The four women page? Part? Yeah, what do you mean?

1164
00:55:22,760 --> 00:55:23,840
Speaker 2: The four women page?

1165
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 3: There's a there's a section, there's a topic where it's

1166
00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:28,280
Speaker 3: four women. It's just a little bit.

1167
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,799
Speaker 2: More uh less wrong?

1168
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:36,480
Speaker 3: No lighting, I like, I like it's important. It's important.

1169
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:40,239
Speaker 3: It's important. The lighting is good, you know what I'm saying.

1170
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 3: They just they get cinematography. It gets like, you know, like,

1171
00:55:43,680 --> 00:55:45,359
Speaker 3: have you ever watched like an Erica Left film?

1172
00:55:45,880 --> 00:55:46,440
Speaker 2: No?

1173
00:55:46,600 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 3: Okay, so she's a woman porn director.

1174
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:53,040
Speaker 1: I feel like I've heard of her.

1175
00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 3: She just makes better porn.

1176
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:57,360
Speaker 1: Okay, So now I can't wait to go home and

1177
00:55:57,400 --> 00:56:03,759
Speaker 1: go to the women. Oh my god, that rose Okay,

1178
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:09,160
Speaker 1: favorite position I like.

1179
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 3: I don't know what it's called. But when you're on top,

1180
00:56:11,200 --> 00:56:12,879
Speaker 3: like I say, I'm on the edge of the couch

1181
00:56:13,040 --> 00:56:14,920
Speaker 3: and you're on top, and I'm like holding your ass

1182
00:56:14,960 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 3: here and I'm moving like this like a ride.

1183
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 1: I don't know if hold on.

1184
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:22,040
Speaker 3: Sorry, guys, moved the mic real quick.

1185
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:24,440
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's a your like.

1186
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:27,120
Speaker 2: I'm on the edge your model.

1187
00:56:28,360 --> 00:56:32,759
Speaker 1: Like this, like you have more leverage with your hands. Yeah, well,

1188
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,239
Speaker 1: like you could stand up like baby boy or you

1189
00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:35,680
Speaker 1: could do that.

1190
00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 3: But yeah, I like to I like it like that.

1191
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:44,719
Speaker 2: Celebrity crush. You know.

1192
00:56:44,800 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 3: I was just talking about this and we're empty right now.

1193
00:56:48,800 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 3: What there's not one, there's not I haven't I was

1194
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:54,400
Speaker 3: just talking about this with a friend. I was like,

1195
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:56,560
Speaker 3: who if someone slitting your d MS, who would you

1196
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:57,239
Speaker 3: risk it all for?

1197
00:56:58,080 --> 00:56:59,880
Speaker 1: And I don't.

1198
00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 3: I don't know. You think that was the first person

1199
00:57:04,719 --> 00:57:06,320
Speaker 3: that came to mind, But it's like would I I

1200
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 3: don't think I would would.

1201
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 1: Everybody in this room would do it. Pregnant nine months.

1202
00:57:14,800 --> 00:57:16,320
Speaker 3: I'm just the father that stepped up.

1203
00:57:19,680 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 2: Single mom terrible.

1204
00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 3: That's not good. And on the guys side, what is

1205
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:35,160
Speaker 3: it good? Is it good to be a mom?

1206
00:57:35,520 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 1: You do realize you're sitting but in our studio, like

1207
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:43,440
Speaker 1: we could jump you right?

1208
00:57:43,480 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 3: No, no, but but but but no, why said it? Though?

1209
00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:53,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's what you think. It's going great trade.

1210
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:54,960
Speaker 1: We gotta put Jared in the trunk.

1211
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want that for anybody.

1212
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:00,560
Speaker 1: We don't know he ever got here.

1213
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:01,200
Speaker 2: We have.

1214
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 1: Do we'll take care of him.

1215
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:09,480
Speaker 3: No, I don't mean that in like a disrespectful way,

1216
00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:10,960
Speaker 3: if that makes me sense.

1217
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 1: It's more like, what you're not making it better?

1218
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:16,479
Speaker 2: He said, what do you.

1219
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:17,920
Speaker 3: What do you think? What do you think I mean

1220
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 3: by it? Though?

1221
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:19,800
Speaker 2: Wait, what's.

1222
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:22,440
Speaker 1: What do you think I mean by it?

1223
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:23,800
Speaker 2: He said?

1224
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:24,560
Speaker 1: Not even like that.

1225
00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:28,000
Speaker 2: I mean I just mean like, what.

1226
00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 3: Do you think I mean by I don't know?

1227
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 2: You tired fast? You feel bad?

1228
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:32,840
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1229
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:35,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel bad if we if you have did

1230
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 3: this single?

1231
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 1: No help? This is our media needs to be better.

1232
00:58:41,600 --> 00:58:43,360
Speaker 2: Oh my god, oh god.

1233
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:48,080
Speaker 3: Here's here's here's my thinking. Here's my thinking. Here's my thinking.

1234
00:58:48,200 --> 00:58:49,360
Speaker 1: Not for the week of high but I don't know

1235
00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:50,240
Speaker 1: if it's.

1236
00:58:50,960 --> 00:58:55,000
Speaker 3: Here's my thinking. Here's my thinking. Shan Shan had COVID

1237
00:58:55,040 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 3: for two weeks, so I'm having.

1238
00:58:57,240 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 2: A single mom for ten days.

1239
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:01,280
Speaker 3: It was hard.

1240
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 1: It was hard. Oh my god, this is fresh off

1241
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:06,240
Speaker 1: of a baby twenty four hours for.

1242
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 3: Vibes, and that's where it's like, Oh, that's where that

1243
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 3: that's where the side comes from. Oh my god. Well,

1244
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:18,600
Speaker 3: not not to say that it was not like a dish,

1245
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:21,800
Speaker 3: if that means I could see how it could be interpret.

1246
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:25,320
Speaker 2: That way, though, Mom is gonna come for you. Oh

1247
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:27,440
Speaker 2: my god, get you ready for your d m.

1248
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 3: Well, my heart is good. It was coming from a

1249
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 3: place because like that felt like it's hard.

1250
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:34,920
Speaker 2: You can't believe it.

1251
00:59:35,000 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 3: It's hard.

1252
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:39,480
Speaker 1: I was actually just talking about I was trying to

1253
00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:40,360
Speaker 1: be enjoy it.

1254
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,959
Speaker 3: I was just talking to Shan. I was like, I

1255
00:59:44,040 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 3: don't know how single people do it. This is hard.

1256
00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:53,160
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, it's hard. You don't have a few

1257
00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:59,840
Speaker 1: more sex magic. I never thought of that.

1258
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 2: Infestation masturbation.

1259
01:00:03,080 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 3: Masturbation is good. What is that? Like? You manifesting how

1260
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 3: you masturbate?

1261
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: Now you manifest what you want when you when you claim.

1262
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:12,760
Speaker 3: Oh I've never done that, Maybe I should try that

1263
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 3: than therapy, it's good, you should do it.

1264
01:00:18,400 --> 01:00:19,720
Speaker 2: Best advice you've ever gotten.

1265
01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:27,680
Speaker 3: Uh, you're worried about the critics that ain't protocol and insecurity.

1266
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 3: Everybody got it? M hm, you have an insecurity.

1267
01:00:33,880 --> 01:00:34,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1268
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:39,840
Speaker 3: I think my insecurity is that you won't I won't

1269
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,200
Speaker 3: be accepted by the people I look up to.

1270
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:46,080
Speaker 2: Is it like your family or those like?

1271
01:00:46,280 --> 01:00:49,120
Speaker 3: No, Like let's say, I don't know, like because I

1272
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 3: do music, so like there's there's artists that I look

1273
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 3: up to, where there's artists that I that I like

1274
01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:57,840
Speaker 3: study off of or learn from. And if they were

1275
01:00:57,880 --> 01:00:59,800
Speaker 3: to hear any of my music and say, oh this

1276
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:02,400
Speaker 3: guys trash like that hurt your feeling that.

1277
01:01:02,800 --> 01:01:04,479
Speaker 2: You're an artist and you're sensitive about your ship.

1278
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, words of I say.

1279
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 2: I mean I used to feel that way a lot

1280
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 2: about like wanting to have like the respect of my

1281
01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 2: I guess idols and ways and of course you want

1282
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 2: them to it. It feels nice, but.

1283
01:01:24,080 --> 01:01:26,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, but yes, it's the ultimate place that you want

1284
01:01:26,320 --> 01:01:30,160
Speaker 3: to be in, you know, but it's still in security sometimes.

1285
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 2: No, that was it?

1286
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:34,959
Speaker 3: You're still upset about that single life?

1287
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:38,479
Speaker 1: How about this? What if this is a learning moment?

1288
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 1: What do you think?

1289
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 3: What if this is a learning moment? What do you

1290
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 3: think that What did you feel when I said that

1291
01:01:45,320 --> 01:01:51,080
Speaker 3: it's were you raised my single mother or yeah, I

1292
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:51,400
Speaker 3: don't know.

1293
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 1: It was like you say terrible. What did you think

1294
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 1: when I think when I say single mom? Like, what

1295
01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:58,640
Speaker 1: do you think of single moms? Like you could have

1296
01:01:58,640 --> 01:01:59,400
Speaker 1: said strength?

1297
01:02:01,560 --> 01:02:07,520
Speaker 3: Well, I was thinking about and so what that is

1298
01:02:07,680 --> 01:02:10,480
Speaker 3: all true, But the thing that I thought of I

1299
01:02:10,520 --> 01:02:12,360
Speaker 3: was like, man, when I was taking care of ru

1300
01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:14,520
Speaker 3: for two weeks.

1301
01:02:13,920 --> 01:02:14,439
Speaker 1: That's hard.

1302
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:16,320
Speaker 2: No, that was that was that was a real response.

1303
01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:20,000
Speaker 2: It's true. It is hard, very difficult.

1304
01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 3: And more and it's powerful too. It's strength that those also.

1305
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,280
Speaker 1: I think also, I think we always talk about this

1306
01:02:26,440 --> 01:02:30,120
Speaker 1: just in general. You know, single moms, particularly single black moms,

1307
01:02:30,560 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 1: get labeled as struggle, as a heartache, you know, but

1308
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:35,400
Speaker 1: like we're well you know what I mean, like or

1309
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:36,120
Speaker 1: that there's.

1310
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:40,240
Speaker 3: So everything is reference point, right, So I think what's

1311
01:02:40,320 --> 01:02:43,560
Speaker 3: cool and interesting is that when I say terrible and

1312
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 3: that it's bad, that you were thinking of yourself in

1313
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:49,880
Speaker 3: that we're not yourself in the sense, but like the

1314
01:02:50,200 --> 01:02:52,640
Speaker 3: single mom is who I'm talking about I was talking

1315
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 3: about when I was saying it, I was thinking of

1316
01:02:54,240 --> 01:02:56,160
Speaker 3: the dad who didn't want to hate, help take care.

1317
01:02:56,200 --> 01:03:01,320
Speaker 3: I know, I got that. It was so funny because

1318
01:03:01,320 --> 01:03:04,480
Speaker 3: that's where my mind went was like I was talking

1319
01:03:04,520 --> 01:03:07,760
Speaker 3: to you know, the whole abortion laws and everything, and

1320
01:03:08,680 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 3: one of our co hosts was saying that if the

1321
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:17,480
Speaker 3: guy says from the jump, I don't want to have

1322
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 3: a baby, how much how responsible is he for the baby?

1323
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:23,360
Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, but you're still thinking of

1324
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,360
Speaker 3: that baby from a selfish place. You're not thinking of

1325
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:28,920
Speaker 3: the baby from like the baby didn't ask to be here.

1326
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:32,720
Speaker 3: The baby didn't choose you to be her dad. Yeah,

1327
01:03:32,760 --> 01:03:34,840
Speaker 3: and so like now that the baby's here, you still

1328
01:03:34,880 --> 01:03:36,400
Speaker 3: have a responsibility to take care.

1329
01:03:36,240 --> 01:03:38,200
Speaker 2: Of it, and she has to go through both experiences

1330
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:41,360
Speaker 2: either one, whether it's getting an abortion or having the baby.

1331
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 3: Right, and so so at the end of the day,

1332
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:45,120
Speaker 3: let me just make a choice. Well, at the end

1333
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:47,120
Speaker 3: of the day, it's like that at the end of

1334
01:03:47,120 --> 01:03:49,040
Speaker 3: the day, you can't think of the baby from a

1335
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,320
Speaker 3: selfish place. Even if I didn't want to have the

1336
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:54,760
Speaker 3: baby to begin with. Now it's not about me in

1337
01:03:54,800 --> 01:03:57,360
Speaker 3: this moment. It's about what's the healthiest for the baby.

1338
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 3: So that's where my mind was going. It's like, if

1339
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:04,200
Speaker 3: there's a single mom out there like that dad decided

1340
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 3: I didn't want to be around, or he died or

1341
01:04:08,240 --> 01:04:11,080
Speaker 3: that Okay, well, that's that's unfortunately.

1342
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,320
Speaker 2: I mean not that was dark because I'm dark, but

1343
01:04:13,600 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 2: I was thinking, or.

1344
01:04:17,160 --> 01:04:19,040
Speaker 3: That happened to that, that's unfortunate.

1345
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:22,080
Speaker 2: Or you've chosen to not or you know, women also

1346
01:04:22,120 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 2: choose to just not have like have that person in

1347
01:04:25,640 --> 01:04:28,560
Speaker 2: their life, like have that person have access to their kid.

1348
01:04:28,880 --> 01:04:31,960
Speaker 2: There's so many scenarios as to why someone would be

1349
01:04:31,960 --> 01:04:34,640
Speaker 2: a single parent, the father leaving.

1350
01:04:35,200 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, and that's the thing is like, if you're

1351
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:41,040
Speaker 3: if you're thinking of one word answers, you're not going

1352
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 3: through scenario.

1353
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:42,880
Speaker 2: We're judging him.

1354
01:04:43,200 --> 01:04:47,120
Speaker 1: You're going off the would say you're going off the

1355
01:04:47,120 --> 01:04:47,640
Speaker 1: one scenario.

1356
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:52,160
Speaker 4: What I want you to say that that's that's that's

1357
01:04:51,560 --> 01:04:51,760
Speaker 4: kind of.

1358
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:55,120
Speaker 1: I want you to react. No, we're kidding. We know

1359
01:04:55,200 --> 01:04:59,440
Speaker 1: you're a nice guy. Some of it is that kind

1360
01:04:59,440 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 1: of a nice guy.

1361
01:05:00,280 --> 01:05:02,920
Speaker 3: No, I said, yes, some of some of it everybody

1362
01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:07,400
Speaker 3: wants to be We all got a little scar in us.

1363
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 2: Wow, that was deep. My daughter's gonna love that. Evil

1364
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:20,800
Speaker 2: people of the world. No, yeah, scarred, mufasa. You know

1365
01:05:20,960 --> 01:05:23,440
Speaker 2: your friend, she was just very scarred today.

1366
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 1: Just today you you pulled a tarot card.

1367
01:05:29,600 --> 01:05:33,080
Speaker 2: I did, and you pulled strength.

1368
01:05:34,080 --> 01:05:38,440
Speaker 1: The strength card represents strength, determination, and power like the chariot. However,

1369
01:05:38,520 --> 01:05:41,440
Speaker 1: while the chariot signifies outer strength and will, the strength

1370
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:43,920
Speaker 1: card speaks to the inner strength and the human spirit's

1371
01:05:43,920 --> 01:05:48,080
Speaker 1: ability to overcome any obstacle. Strength is about knowing you

1372
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:52,000
Speaker 1: can endure life's obstacles. You have great stamina and persistence

1373
01:05:52,560 --> 01:05:56,520
Speaker 1: balanced with underlying patients and inner calm. You're committed to

1374
01:05:56,560 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 1: what you need to do, and you go about it

1375
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:02,200
Speaker 1: in a way that shows your composure and maturity with

1376
01:06:02,280 --> 01:06:05,000
Speaker 1: the strength tarot card appears. When the strength tarot card

1377
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 1: appears in a reading, you're fueled by your inner strength,

1378
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:10,680
Speaker 1: personal power, strong will, and determination. You do not rule

1379
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:14,840
Speaker 1: by trying to control others. You quietly influence and persuade.

1380
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:18,400
Speaker 1: Others may underestimate your power because it is so invisible

1381
01:06:18,680 --> 01:06:20,560
Speaker 1: that you should eat, but you should see that it

1382
01:06:20,720 --> 01:06:23,840
Speaker 1: as an advantage. You can control a situation without excessive

1383
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:27,600
Speaker 1: outward force. No one knows it's you calling the shots

1384
01:06:29,040 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 1: that Libra.

1385
01:06:30,600 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 2: It kind of sounds like what you kind of I

1386
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:34,720
Speaker 2: don't know about Libra, but it sounds like kind of

1387
01:06:34,920 --> 01:06:37,280
Speaker 2: this episode you're saying that, like I don't know, like

1388
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:40,080
Speaker 2: you have to. You're a watcher quiet you know what

1389
01:06:40,120 --> 01:06:44,760
Speaker 2: I mean, And but that you still and that you nap,

1390
01:06:44,800 --> 01:06:47,240
Speaker 2: but you still navigate and like you're a powerful force.

1391
01:06:47,520 --> 01:06:49,800
Speaker 1: Wait, listen to this. Your strength gives you confidence to

1392
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:53,800
Speaker 1: overcome any growing fears, challenges, or doubts. Feel the fear

1393
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:56,080
Speaker 1: and do it anyway. If you have been going through

1394
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:59,400
Speaker 1: a rough time and are burnt out or stressed, the

1395
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:02,320
Speaker 1: strength car encourage you to find the power within yourself

1396
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:05,240
Speaker 1: to persevere. Hey, you have got what it takes to

1397
01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:09,120
Speaker 1: see the situation through, so it is to its eventual end.

1398
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:12,680
Speaker 1: You're a loyal friend and a solid supporter, hey, and.

1399
01:07:12,640 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 2: The loyal partner for and you're holding your wife down

1400
01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:19,200
Speaker 2: even though as hard as fun. You made it through.

1401
01:07:19,280 --> 01:07:24,440
Speaker 1: You made it a.

1402
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,000
Speaker 2: Strength card, strength card.

1403
01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:31,280
Speaker 3: I didn't mean it that way. I'm sorry.

1404
01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:33,080
Speaker 2: We are with you, but it's so good.

1405
01:07:33,080 --> 01:07:35,200
Speaker 1: You might feel compelled to hold space for someone who

1406
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:37,280
Speaker 1: needs your strength and support, and it seems like you

1407
01:07:37,360 --> 01:07:39,280
Speaker 1: do that very well. That's really like it.

1408
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:42,000
Speaker 2: Is balanced, that's beautiful.

1409
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:44,800
Speaker 3: You are cards.

1410
01:07:46,160 --> 01:07:47,080
Speaker 2: Is that you against that too?

1411
01:07:47,640 --> 01:07:50,440
Speaker 3: I don't know anything about it. Yeah, I got I

1412
01:07:50,440 --> 01:07:54,440
Speaker 3: had my cards pulled one time in uh turks and caicos.

1413
01:07:55,320 --> 01:07:56,280
Speaker 3: I don't remember what they said.

1414
01:08:01,600 --> 01:08:04,680
Speaker 1: We asked you if you had a horri Oh yeah,

1415
01:08:04,800 --> 01:08:09,160
Speaker 1: So it's four story time and today's horries are brought

1416
01:08:09,200 --> 01:08:11,200
Speaker 1: to you by the vitamins.

1417
01:08:11,800 --> 01:08:15,320
Speaker 2: The vitamins. You guys, check out the vitamins. They are

1418
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:21,400
Speaker 2: our favorite imaginal vitamins. They literally listen neiversary period, you

1419
01:08:21,400 --> 01:08:23,720
Speaker 2: feel like you're a little off. Every woman goes through this.

1420
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:25,280
Speaker 2: No one wants to talk about it, but let's just

1421
01:08:25,320 --> 01:08:28,640
Speaker 2: talk about it real quick. Jared, I'm sorry here. I mean,

1422
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:31,479
Speaker 2: you know you're married with sexologists. You know, vagina's be

1423
01:08:31,520 --> 01:08:34,880
Speaker 2: tripping sometimes. Sure, the vitamins, it makes your vagina get

1424
01:08:35,080 --> 01:08:37,880
Speaker 2: right back on point within a day, really, and it

1425
01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:42,519
Speaker 2: just encourages wetness, It encourages balance and overall just.

1426
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:45,920
Speaker 1: The It comes with a really cute applicator that for me,

1427
01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:47,920
Speaker 1: I really enjoy because you don't have to worry about

1428
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,599
Speaker 1: just getting it to your finger length.

1429
01:08:49,640 --> 01:08:52,599
Speaker 2: You could really get it in up there. You really

1430
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:52,880
Speaker 2: love that.

1431
01:08:53,080 --> 01:08:53,280
Speaker 1: I do.

1432
01:08:53,400 --> 01:08:53,639
Speaker 2: Really.

1433
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:56,000
Speaker 1: At first, I was like, Oh, I really do like

1434
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:57,040
Speaker 1: that applicator, So do you?

1435
01:08:57,160 --> 01:08:57,360
Speaker 2: I do?

1436
01:08:57,600 --> 01:09:00,759
Speaker 3: I do? Wait, so it's like it's an actual like.

1437
01:09:02,360 --> 01:09:04,639
Speaker 2: It's like no, it's a vitamin. It looks like a

1438
01:09:04,479 --> 01:09:06,800
Speaker 2: like a capsule and it has bork acid in it,

1439
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:10,639
Speaker 2: and bork acid is like a magical ingredient that helps

1440
01:09:10,720 --> 01:09:13,439
Speaker 2: neutralize the vagina and a healthy ease.

1441
01:09:14,000 --> 01:09:15,560
Speaker 3: Is it? Do you eat it or do you know

1442
01:09:15,680 --> 01:09:16,360
Speaker 3: it's positive?

1443
01:09:16,439 --> 01:09:17,040
Speaker 2: So you put this.

1444
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:19,559
Speaker 1: I don't know I've ever seen a suppository like it's

1445
01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:20,680
Speaker 1: like a tampon applicator.

1446
01:09:20,720 --> 01:09:21,920
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, So you put.

1447
01:09:21,800 --> 01:09:23,640
Speaker 2: The vitamin in there and then you put it in

1448
01:09:23,640 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 2: your vagina and then you insert it and then you

1449
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:28,320
Speaker 2: can go to sleep. You go to sleep in the

1450
01:09:28,400 --> 01:09:30,759
Speaker 2: next morning, your pussy's taking Wow.

1451
01:09:31,920 --> 01:09:32,200
Speaker 3: It's like.

1452
01:09:34,080 --> 01:09:34,960
Speaker 2: This is a real fact.

1453
01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:39,519
Speaker 1: No really, I mean yeah, honestly, if you're experiencing anything

1454
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:42,400
Speaker 1: off sometimes like I had a friend always having one

1455
01:09:42,439 --> 01:09:45,040
Speaker 1: particular partner and it was just not mixing at all.

1456
01:09:45,360 --> 01:09:47,439
Speaker 1: And basically they said, there's no fix. Yeah they can't,

1457
01:09:47,520 --> 01:09:49,360
Speaker 1: they can't have sex anymore. The vitamins fixed it.

1458
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:50,240
Speaker 3: Wow.

1459
01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:58,120
Speaker 2: So anyway, tell us your hoary stories.

1460
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:00,680
Speaker 3: There was a time I was I used to like

1461
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:06,400
Speaker 3: bartend and used to also work for like different weddings,

1462
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:08,599
Speaker 3: And there was one time I was working a wedding

1463
01:10:09,520 --> 01:10:11,880
Speaker 3: and this one woman that was part of the bridesmaid

1464
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:14,800
Speaker 3: was there. You know, we're talking, we're chopping it up,

1465
01:10:15,320 --> 01:10:18,240
Speaker 3: and I was flirting with her, but I didn't really

1466
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:20,559
Speaker 3: expect nothing out of it. It was just flirting, you know,

1467
01:10:20,720 --> 01:10:24,240
Speaker 3: throughout the whole night, flirt, flirt, flirt. As the night

1468
01:10:24,280 --> 01:10:27,320
Speaker 3: started to end, I like threw a joke out there, like, hey,

1469
01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:29,559
Speaker 3: why don't you come over to my house like I live, like,

1470
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:32,400
Speaker 3: you know, not too far away, come through, you know,

1471
01:10:33,040 --> 01:10:35,320
Speaker 3: and she was like okay, and I was like, oh

1472
01:10:36,439 --> 01:10:39,720
Speaker 3: you said, yeah, okay, And I like texting my room

1473
01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:40,920
Speaker 3: at the time. I was like, hey, bro, you gotta

1474
01:10:41,640 --> 01:10:43,760
Speaker 3: got dip man, go do something real quick. You know,

1475
01:10:44,160 --> 01:10:46,960
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to, you know, it's a new situation.

1476
01:10:47,160 --> 01:10:53,520
Speaker 3: So she ended up coming over. We had sex, and

1477
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:57,160
Speaker 3: I at that time, like I never I would always

1478
01:10:57,200 --> 01:11:00,200
Speaker 3: pull out. I was like, you know, pull out, and

1479
01:11:00,240 --> 01:11:03,160
Speaker 3: for whatever reason, in this moment, I decided to pull

1480
01:11:03,200 --> 01:11:07,160
Speaker 3: out and take the condom off and like ejaculate on her.

1481
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:09,679
Speaker 2: It was a porn show.

1482
01:11:09,880 --> 01:11:12,880
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say it was just it wasn't like it

1483
01:11:12,960 --> 01:11:16,040
Speaker 3: wasn't like disrespectful. It was just like, you know, here

1484
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:18,599
Speaker 3: and then after I got done, she was like, oh,

1485
01:11:18,920 --> 01:11:23,200
Speaker 3: my turn and then she started going and squirted all

1486
01:11:23,240 --> 01:11:26,479
Speaker 3: over me and I wasn't ready for it, and so

1487
01:11:26,800 --> 01:11:29,640
Speaker 3: I remember after that time, I was like, this is

1488
01:11:29,640 --> 01:11:33,920
Speaker 3: what it is. This is what it feels like.

1489
01:11:34,080 --> 01:11:37,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, your turn? Yeah?

1490
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:37,639
Speaker 2: How many?

1491
01:11:37,680 --> 01:11:39,720
Speaker 1: Like, how long after the your turn did it come?

1492
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:44,000
Speaker 3: It was pretty quick. It was pretty quick. I thought

1493
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:47,760
Speaker 3: it was like I didn't fully understand what she said. Yeah,

1494
01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:50,080
Speaker 3: until it happened. I was like, oh, she said your turn,

1495
01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:54,640
Speaker 3: it's cold and uh and then she left. I like her,

1496
01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:57,599
Speaker 3: I'm going to do that. I was like in my head,

1497
01:11:57,600 --> 01:12:03,800
Speaker 3: I was like, dang, maybe I should ask next time.

1498
01:12:04,880 --> 01:12:06,880
Speaker 1: Damn so violated.

1499
01:12:07,320 --> 01:12:12,439
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that was great. Yeah yeah, Well can

1500
01:12:12,479 --> 01:12:14,000
Speaker 2: you tell our people where they can find you?

1501
01:12:14,200 --> 01:12:14,880
Speaker 1: Oh?

1502
01:12:15,280 --> 01:12:21,240
Speaker 3: Enjoy Jared Brady all social platforms. Also, we have a podcast,

1503
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:25,320
Speaker 3: Enjoy the Podcast where we talk about everything he hasn't

1504
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:28,640
Speaker 3: told you yet. So anything he's hiding from you, we

1505
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:32,760
Speaker 3: probably said it on that podcast. Oh wow, spilling the tea,

1506
01:12:32,840 --> 01:12:35,960
Speaker 3: like we've break the code a couple of times.

1507
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:37,839
Speaker 2: The secrets.

1508
01:12:38,000 --> 01:12:39,800
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say secrets, but.

1509
01:12:39,880 --> 01:12:41,800
Speaker 2: You hear that, lady. This show is for you. This

1510
01:12:41,840 --> 01:12:44,200
Speaker 2: is for This is a show for women to find

1511
01:12:44,200 --> 01:12:45,400
Speaker 2: out if their niggas age ship.

1512
01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:48,679
Speaker 3: But you know there's times in that when we're telling

1513
01:12:48,720 --> 01:12:54,040
Speaker 3: the truth that sometimes can ruffle some feathers or we're learning.

1514
01:12:54,320 --> 01:12:55,320
Speaker 3: We're very open to learn.

1515
01:12:55,680 --> 01:12:56,479
Speaker 2: The truth is the truth.

1516
01:12:56,520 --> 01:12:57,840
Speaker 1: If that's how you feel, you got to tell us

1517
01:12:57,880 --> 01:12:59,200
Speaker 1: how it is. That's the problem. We want to be

1518
01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:00,880
Speaker 1: lied to, but you need we need to listen.

1519
01:13:03,439 --> 01:13:06,360
Speaker 3: We are always evolving and growing and we have a

1520
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:09,559
Speaker 3: really big women audience, so they're quick to educate us

1521
01:13:09,840 --> 01:13:10,439
Speaker 3: very quickly.

1522
01:13:12,040 --> 01:13:14,599
Speaker 2: We'll definitely check that out, and you guys know where

1523
01:13:14,600 --> 01:13:16,639
Speaker 2: to find us. Make sure you check out VI Vitamins.

1524
01:13:16,680 --> 01:13:20,800
Speaker 2: You guys, it's at Vaginal Vitamins dot com. Make sure

1525
01:13:20,800 --> 01:13:25,280
Speaker 2: you use our code GMBC for a discount. If you

1526
01:13:25,400 --> 01:13:28,719
Speaker 2: haven't checked out our retreat, it's coming up. It's almost time.

1527
01:13:28,760 --> 01:13:31,040
Speaker 2: We're about to get the fuck out of here. If

1528
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:33,920
Speaker 2: you haven't booked your summer trip, this is the one.

1529
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:38,879
Speaker 2: We're going to Costa Rica. It's our third and fourth retreat.

1530
01:13:39,320 --> 01:13:42,040
Speaker 2: We have an amazing group of women going so far,

1531
01:13:42,160 --> 01:13:44,519
Speaker 2: so if you're trying to find your tribe, this is

1532
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:47,480
Speaker 2: the place to do it.

1533
01:13:47,479 --> 01:13:51,160
Speaker 1: It's July thirty first and August tenth and trap Yoga

1534
01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:54,479
Speaker 1: Bay will be in week one hosting a workshop. Also,

1535
01:13:54,600 --> 01:13:58,040
Speaker 1: Samaia Sexual Essentials will be in week two hosting a workshop.

1536
01:13:58,479 --> 01:14:02,719
Speaker 1: It's going to be magical in the jungle and yeah,

1537
01:14:02,840 --> 01:14:03,559
Speaker 1: you don't want to miss it.

1538
01:14:04,120 --> 01:14:06,520
Speaker 2: Make sure you rate and review us on Apple Podcasts

1539
01:14:06,520 --> 01:14:08,439
Speaker 2: if you love us. If you haven't done it, I

1540
01:14:08,439 --> 01:14:10,120
Speaker 2: know we have some o g rs that are listening

1541
01:14:10,240 --> 01:14:14,200
Speaker 2: right now. You have never left us a rating or review. Bitch, no,

1542
01:14:14,720 --> 01:14:20,519
Speaker 2: right now's the time and anything else that's it.

1543
01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:21,240
Speaker 1: Cat you later.

1544
01:14:35,160 --> 01:14:35,479
Speaker 2: M h

1545
01:14:37,640 --> 01:14:38,080
Speaker 3: M hmm.