1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: Family Secrets is a production of I Heart Radio. I'm 2 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: Danny Shapiro and this is family Secrets, the secrets that 3 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: are kept from us, the secrets we keep from others, 4 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:22,960 Speaker 1: and the secrets we keep from ourselves. I've heard from 5 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,760 Speaker 1: so many about your own family secrets and realize that 6 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: what we are creating for each other on this podcast 7 00:00:29,920 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: is a community, a community for those who are looking 8 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: for a safe and supportive space to unburden themselves. To 9 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: that end, we've created a number for listeners to call 10 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: in to record stories to share here in this space. 11 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: This week, I'd like to share a few of those 12 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: stories from our community. Thanks for listening. My secret is 13 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: one that most of my family is aware of if 14 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: they have to keep from me for about thirty years 15 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:03,440 Speaker 1: with out even a hint of what it was. Um, 16 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:06,800 Speaker 1: So I grew up without my knowing my father. My 17 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 1: mother always told me that he was just too young 18 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: for a child, and when she learned of her being pregnant, 19 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: he just disappeared one day. Um it turned out that 20 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: he actually wasn't that young. She had told me nineteen. 21 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:25,399 Speaker 1: He was in fact twenty five, and the reason he 22 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: disappeared was because he was expecting a child with his 23 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:35,640 Speaker 1: future wife to be UM, so he chose them over us. 24 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 1: So I have a half sister who I grew up 25 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,560 Speaker 1: with two towns away from and had known knowledge of her. 26 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: I actually only learned her about three years ago when 27 00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 1: she herself contacted me. UM. We have since met and 28 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 1: have gotten to know each other. It's been wonderful. But 29 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: UM even further tunnels because obviously the learning of this 30 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 1: has opened up a lot of facts and information regarding 31 00:02:04,280 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: my entry into life that I never knew love. UM So, 32 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: when my mother became pregnant and my father left, she 33 00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:18,520 Speaker 1: actually was institutionalized for the first couple months of her pregnancy. UM. 34 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 1: So that was something I didn't know. And furthermore, we 35 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:26,839 Speaker 1: actually have a third half sister. Both our mothers are 36 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 1: aware of this girl, but neither of them know what 37 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: her name is, and my father, our father, is keeping 38 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 1: that information to himself at this time, so we have 39 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: no knowledge of her right now. But I have since 40 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:46,640 Speaker 1: spoken to to my father. UM not quite ready to 41 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: meet him. It's it's still a pretty raw, sore emotion 42 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: that I'm experiencing here. I've only been about three years 43 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: with this information, and so and speaking to him was 44 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: fairly recently. UM. But yeah, this podcast is pretty great 45 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:13,840 Speaker 1: and it's been extremely helpful as as I go through 46 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: this myself. It's definitely been uh kind of a therapy. 47 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:24,680 Speaker 1: So thank you. Hi there. UM. So here's my secret. UM. Recently, 48 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:30,640 Speaker 1: my mother in law passed away. UM. She was diagnosed 49 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:36,080 Speaker 1: with her cancer and less than six months later she 50 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 1: had died. UM. So the secret that I'm keeping is, UM, 51 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: that's now that she's gone, I have no dinner with 52 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: my husband UM to help take care of my father 53 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: in law and who has Alzheimer's, and we have not 54 00:03:55,200 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: told him that she has passed. UM. It's gary to 55 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: think that he doesn't know, but we can't risk the 56 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: factor or the chance of him um something and having 57 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 1: something worse than having his Alzheimer's become worse than it 58 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: is and than him following her to the grave sooner 59 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: than UM needed. So that's the secret to me deal 60 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 1: with day constantly. And when he asks where everybody is, uh, 61 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 1: we just say that everybody's okay. That's your safe, You're 62 00:04:35,040 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: at home and everybody is okay. So that's a secret. SPEAK. 63 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 1: I want to thank you for this podcast and the 64 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 1: community that you have brought together. Um, I'm part of 65 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: this community, and that I was pretty to a family secret. 66 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,920 Speaker 1: Right before I turned twenty one, my mother told me 67 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 1: that I had a full sister. UM. I was raised 68 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 1: as an only child, so this came as a huge 69 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: surprise to me. But I found out that my parents 70 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: had dated in the high school. My mother had gotten 71 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 1: pregnant and her parents forced her to give my sister 72 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:23,039 Speaker 1: up and she kept that secret from most most of 73 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:29,120 Speaker 1: us UM for twenty years. And once she told me, 74 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: she made me keep that secret because she was so 75 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 1: embarrassed by what had happened. She told me I wasn't 76 00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,040 Speaker 1: to look for her, I was not to tell anyone, 77 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: and I kept that secret for more than thirty years. 78 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 1: But my sister got ahold of an ancestry kid and 79 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: I was able to find a cousin who put her 80 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: in contact with my father, and the day before my 81 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: birthday in two thousand eighteen, I spoke to my sister 82 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: for the first time, and then I met her on 83 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 1: my birthday this past summer. And I guess what I 84 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 1: wanted to say to the people in this community is 85 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: that some of these stories that began with secrets began 86 00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: with embarrassment and pain can really have wonderful outcomes. My 87 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: sister and I have developed a wonderful relationship and we 88 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:42,720 Speaker 1: talked on the phone regularly, and meeting her and her 89 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: daughter was just absolutely wonderful and healing, and I wish 90 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:55,080 Speaker 1: for that kind of healing for every listener to this podcast. 91 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,600 Speaker 1: It can happen. So again, thank you for bringing this 92 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: kind of community together and I look forward to hearing 93 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: more listener stories. If you'd like to share your story, 94 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: call one eight eight eight Secret zero and record your story. 95 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 1: We won't be able to run all the stories, but 96 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: we do want to shine a light on as many 97 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,440 Speaker 1: as we can. The number again is one eight eight 98 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:45,640 Speaker 1: Secret and then the numeral zero. For more podcasts for 99 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: my Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, 100 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,000 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.