Speaker 1: Welcome to Katie's Crib, a production of Shondaland Audio in
Speaker 1: partnership with iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: What it's done to me is like really put my
Speaker 2: own self care on the back burner because she's so important.
Speaker 2: And I have found that my husband doesn't do that.
Speaker 2: He's always following his passions and going surfing and playing
Speaker 2: the new video game and staying up late and having
Speaker 2: fun and doing his thing, whereas I feel like I'm
Speaker 2: just it's almost like I'm at war and I'm just
Speaker 2: trying to do like this triage of like how can
Speaker 2: I just be keeping her safe and healthy? And she
Speaker 2: even said to me today, she's, mom, don't you need
Speaker 2: to buy yourself some socks? And then she goes and
Speaker 2: don't you need some underwear too? And I was like,
Speaker 2: how do you know I need underwear? She's like, I
Speaker 2: saw your drawer. There's not that many.
Speaker 1: Hello, everybody, and welcome back to Katie's Crib. I am
Speaker 1: so happy to be sitting here right now because I'm
Speaker 1: just getting through one of those lovely twenty four hour
Speaker 1: neurovirus stomach bugs that your children bring home to you.
Speaker 1: You're welcome for that information. It's been a good day, though,
Speaker 1: because I think I'm through it, folks. I think I'm
Speaker 1: through it, and I'm so glad to be because today's
Speaker 1: guest I just finished reading her book. I'm a huge fan.
Speaker 1: She is hilarious. I mean, I think I'm a funny mom,
Speaker 1: but she's like a super super super super funny mom.
Speaker 1: She's a stand up comedian and she just has an
Speaker 1: incredible mom story. She is a mother of one beautiful
Speaker 1: daughter who is four. I think she's about to turn five,
Speaker 1: and she had her daughter much later than a lot
Speaker 1: of people. And I love her journey of how she
Speaker 1: decided to be a mom because, let me tell you, folks,
Speaker 1: she was not convinced that this was something she always
Speaker 1: wanted to do. And now that she has her daughter,
Speaker 1: I think motherhood has very much changed her in all
Speaker 1: sorts of ways, good and bad. And we can hear
Speaker 1: all about it in her amazing book called The World
Speaker 1: Deserves My Children. Yes they do, Natasha Lazeiro, Yes they do.
Speaker 1: She's going to be our guest today. The book is
Speaker 1: a laugh out loud riot. I mean, come on, there's
Speaker 1: nothing better than a stand up comedian becoming a mom
Speaker 1: because they have the brains and the wit to put
Speaker 1: everything that you think is hilarious and insane about motherhood
Speaker 1: actually into jokes. The book is brilliant and if you
Speaker 1: don't know about Natasha, let me tell you about her.
Speaker 1: She's an accomplished actress, writer, stand up comedian, which I
Speaker 1: already mentioned, and she's garnered attention in film and TV
Speaker 1: and the web. She most recently hosted the TBS food
Speaker 1: competition show Rat in the Kitchen. She also created, wrote, produced,
Speaker 1: and starred in the Comedy Central sitcom Another Period, a
Speaker 1: period piece and spoof on modern day shows, and it
Speaker 1: ran for three seasons. Her Netflix special, The Honeymoon Stand
Speaker 1: Up Special, air in twenty eighteen. Her first and only book,
Speaker 1: Hahaha The World Deserves My Children is a laugh out loud,
Speaker 1: funny collection of insightful and e Razor sharp essays on
Speaker 1: motherhood in our post apocalyptic world, and it's out now
Speaker 1: wherever books are sold. And finally, Natasha hosts The Endless
Speaker 1: Honeymoon Podcast. She hosts The Honeymoon Podcast with her husband
Speaker 1: in Moischa and currently resides in Los Angeles with their
Speaker 1: four year old daughter. I am very excited to welcome
Speaker 1: today's guest, Natasha Lizeiro. I honestly just finished your book
Speaker 1: last night. The world deserves my children, and I agree,
Speaker 1: we deserve your daughter.
Speaker 3: We deserve her.
Speaker 2: I know my friend's like, shouldn't it be called my
Speaker 2: child since you only have one? But I could accumulate
Speaker 2: another kid at some point.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, you don't know what the future holds, no clue.
Speaker 1: I mean, although I do love the checklist. There's a
Speaker 1: chapter in her book, all of you listeners where there's
Speaker 1: a really simple checklist that you can answer yes or
Speaker 1: no to, and if you have a multitude of ys's,
Speaker 1: you are a perfect candidate for someone who should only
Speaker 1: have one child.
Speaker 2: I start that chapter with a quote which is one
Speaker 2: is an accessory. Two is a lifestyle. And I was
Speaker 2: just much more down for the accessory.
Speaker 3: But as you.
Speaker 2: Read, like, I was at the dentist and I read
Speaker 2: after I had the baby, and my dentist was like,
Speaker 2: one child is not a family. You need to go
Speaker 2: have another baby right now, And I was like, I
Speaker 2: don't want another, Like I like having a small, close family.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: I used to date this dude in high school who
Speaker 1: was an only child, and he was incredible, and his
Speaker 1: relationship with his parents.
Speaker 3: Really, it was incredible in like for real.
Speaker 1: And then the other person I will say is Kerry
Speaker 1: Washington is an only child, and she's literally one of
Speaker 1: the most remarkable human beings I've ever had the pleasure
Speaker 1: of knowing. She has an amazing relationship with her parents.
Speaker 2: Didn't she go to Spence? I'm obsessed with everyone who
Speaker 2: went to like Private.
Speaker 1: She went to Spence, So good luck, move to New
Speaker 1: York and go and send your daughter to Spence. But wait,
Speaker 1: while we're on the subject of New York. You and
Speaker 1: I have one thousand things in common. Okay, we both
Speaker 1: went to the Stella Adler superfacting.
Speaker 2: Really did you learn from Alice Winston? I might be
Speaker 2: older than you.
Speaker 1: Yes, but not by much. I just turned forty. No,
Speaker 1: I had Ron Burris, Oh yeah, Joanne Edelman, Tom Oppenheim.
Speaker 3: Joanne did the Alexander technique.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yep. And I was dying laughing because like,
Speaker 1: who else could this joke this storyline before? In your book?
Speaker 1: When you put the cork in your mouth, you're doing
Speaker 1: like two households both like in dignity and favor in
Speaker 1: a wary layer scene.
Speaker 3: Which to this day I would I could be.
Speaker 1: Dying of Alzheimer's and I would still remember that fucking monologue.
Speaker 2: I used to do a joke that Stella Older Conservatory
Speaker 2: taught me how to be a working actor in the
Speaker 2: seventeen hundreds, because it was just like you had to
Speaker 2: put a cork in your mouth. You were like constantly
Speaker 2: reciting Shakespeare and then you take you.
Speaker 1: Had to wear rehearsal skirts that were like ridiculous.
Speaker 3: You learned prepared for auditioning at all. No, we should
Speaker 3: have they should have like a podcast thing.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, so that's one.
Speaker 3: Two.
Speaker 1: We've both been I was a waitress in New York
Speaker 1: for a gazillion years, and so were you. We both
Speaker 1: first got cut out of our first huge TV film Gigs,
Speaker 1: which I think really helps in paving the way to
Speaker 1: understanding this business. In your book, can you remind us
Speaker 1: what I think you were a kid?
Speaker 2: I was a child actor and I was in this
Speaker 2: movie Personal Foul, and it was David Morris and Alan
Speaker 2: Arkin and I have an actual part, but it was
Speaker 2: like in a little scene in between scenes, and so
Speaker 2: no one ever told me I was invited to the premiere.
Speaker 3: I brought my whole Italian family.
Speaker 2: We took up two rows and then I just remember
Speaker 2: like waiting for myself.
Speaker 3: I was like planning on standing up when when I
Speaker 3: got on, and then when the credit started.
Speaker 2: Rolling, I just tears just started rolling down my face
Speaker 2: and I was like, I just didn't understand.
Speaker 3: And why would they have invited you?
Speaker 2: Like, oh my.
Speaker 1: God, what a mine was? I had one line on
Speaker 1: rescue me the pilot remember that it was like a
Speaker 1: firefighter show starring God, I don't fucking remember Dennis Larry
Speaker 1: Big New York. Yes, thank you, Dennis Leary. And I
Speaker 1: had a scene and I told everyone, most importantly in
Speaker 1: my town growing up. It was like my first job
Speaker 1: out of college was like twenty one, and I told everyone,
Speaker 1: most importantly my ex boyfriend who had fucking wrecked me
Speaker 1: my high school like love of my life, who I'd
Speaker 1: lost my virginity to. And when I watched it, and
Speaker 1: I knew everyone in the Tri state area was watching
Speaker 1: at the same time, including my grandmother who was very judgmental,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't in it. I was like so fucking embarrassed.
Speaker 1: It was unbelievable, Like just total embarrassment. Okay, this is
Speaker 1: a mom podcast and you are for everyone listening. I know,
Speaker 1: we're all in this shit right now and it's ups
Speaker 1: and it's down and it's amazing. But you are such
Speaker 1: a gift because none of us are stand up comedians
Speaker 1: and none of us are funny. Like it was amazing
Speaker 1: reading your book. I can't think the way you think.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like your daughter is going to be
Speaker 1: absolutely hilarious having you and your husband as funny people.
Speaker 2: Actually, I'm very hesitant to do stand up about her
Speaker 2: because she'll say something funny and I'll tell my husband
Speaker 2: and she's like, mom, do.
Speaker 3: Not tell people things. I say, that's her new thing.
Speaker 2: So now I'm like, Okay, at least I can tour
Speaker 2: on this material and she'll never find out.
Speaker 3: But I can't really record a special.
Speaker 1: Is that the boundary you're drawing right now? I don't
Speaker 1: want to record this to live on forever in case
Speaker 1: she can watch it in ten years.
Speaker 2: And like I was telling my opener, I just did
Speaker 2: a book tour and one of the women opening for
Speaker 2: me had like a thirteen year old. I told her
Speaker 2: this and she's like, yeah, my daughter doesn't want me
Speaker 2: talking about her either. It's been pretty hard for the
Speaker 2: past ten years, like it is in high school.
Speaker 3: And they don't talk because of it.
Speaker 1: So, oh my god.
Speaker 3: It's a hard thing.
Speaker 2: And I was trying to be really conscious about her
Speaker 2: in the book, and I did a reading pass of
Speaker 2: it through her eyes. Yeah, because I do jokes about
Speaker 2: hoping they take a nap so dangerously long you think
Speaker 2: maybe something happened to them, or there's like obviously some
Speaker 2: dark things that are jokes. And then I added a
Speaker 2: little When my husband read the book, he was like,
Speaker 2: do you even like me? I had to like add
Speaker 2: a little pit paragraph for him.
Speaker 1: It is so clear in the book that you love
Speaker 1: him and that you have an incredible relationship, which I
Speaker 1: want to talk to you about so much about how
Speaker 1: it's changed since becoming parents, because you were together for
Speaker 1: a long time before you decided to jump into this.
Speaker 1: And what I love so much about the book is
Speaker 1: you were not you weren't going to have a child.
Speaker 1: You were so career centric.
Speaker 3: A situational breeder is what they call it.
Speaker 1: You met the guy. It was the right time and
Speaker 1: the right situation and also kind of a miracle situation.
Speaker 1: Take the listeners through how many eggs we had left
Speaker 1: and the miracle that is your daughter.
Speaker 3: Oh, I just on a whim.
Speaker 2: As a thirty eighth birthday present to myself, I froze
Speaker 2: my eggs and had him sitting there, and then I
Speaker 2: had met Mosha pretty quickly after that, and he really
Speaker 2: expressed that he wanted kids. But after we got married
Speaker 2: at forty, the doctor just kept saying, you know, those
Speaker 2: should be your insurance, so you should keep trying to
Speaker 2: do it on your own. So I spent like thousands
Speaker 2: and thousands of dollars trying to do it in these
Speaker 2: last moments of my fertility.
Speaker 1: What was the clock saying to you, like, if we
Speaker 1: don't conceive without using the stored eggs, what was your
Speaker 1: timeline on that.
Speaker 3: I kind of.
Speaker 2: Feel a little bit like I was hustled by the
Speaker 2: doctors and I spent a lot of money trying to
Speaker 2: do this naturally but not really naturally. Like they're called
Speaker 2: iui's and you go there and like most you would
Speaker 2: be at the Funny Bone in Kansas City or wherever
Speaker 2: the fuck the chuckle hut, and then we'd have like
Speaker 2: during my ovulation, so we would have his sperm on tap,
Speaker 2: and then I'd go into the doctor that very day.
Speaker 1: Jerkey based it exactly.
Speaker 2: I did those for probably a year and nothing ever worked.
Speaker 2: I had a very irregular period, so it was just
Speaker 2: always a challenge. An important thing to remember if you
Speaker 2: are trying to conceive is like talk to your friends
Speaker 2: who've done it successfully. A lot of this stuff is
Speaker 2: like brand new technology and your doctors are busy and
Speaker 2: they don't have all the data yet. I talked to
Speaker 2: a friend and she was like, I think you should
Speaker 2: just use the ones you have. That's what I did,
Speaker 2: and so I did that and they had to defrost them.
Speaker 3: He had to blast his load on them or I
Speaker 3: don't know what the medical term is.
Speaker 1: Mix them up, blashom sperm on top of that shit.
Speaker 2: I had eight eight and then once he did his load,
Speaker 2: I think four survived. Then they tested him for genetics
Speaker 2: and two survived. And just a really quick thing if people,
Speaker 2: because I know this is a mom podcast, a lot
Speaker 2: of people are like, you asked the doctor should I
Speaker 2: test for the genetically?
Speaker 3: And they're like it's up to you, and you're like,
Speaker 3: I don't fucking know. But here's the reason.
Speaker 2: Here's the reason why I would say maybe you shouldn't
Speaker 2: is because you can kill a lot of the embryos
Speaker 2: that way, and the doctor would never tell you this,
Speaker 2: but if you're okay with having an abortion, it might
Speaker 2: be better to put it in there. So it's so
Speaker 2: you get that chance.
Speaker 1: Natasha, I've never We've done a thousand episodes of this shit.
Speaker 1: I've never that is such a good point. Like if
Speaker 1: you were someone that by twelve thirteen weeks you know
Speaker 1: from the tests that something is genetically irregular and unsafe
Speaker 1: or not something that you're looking to get into, and
Speaker 1: you would have an abortion anyway, then maybe it is
Speaker 1: better to weigh your risk reward not do the genetic testing,
Speaker 1: because that those genetic tests, sticking a little needle in
Speaker 1: the made embryo in the Petri dish can kill kills it. Fuck.
Speaker 2: A doctor will never tell you this. We're all trying
Speaker 2: to figure out this technology. So anyway, we did the
Speaker 2: genetic testing because I didn't know about I really didn't
Speaker 2: know one trick. I always ask doctors. I'm like, what
Speaker 2: would you tell me if I was your daughter. I'm
Speaker 2: like constantly telling that. I think that's a really important
Speaker 2: thing to face make them answer. I had two left
Speaker 2: I put one in and I was pregnant and I
Speaker 2: was like so happy, and then it died in like
Speaker 2: two weeks, and then I was like, I don't know
Speaker 2: what to do.
Speaker 3: This is my last chance.
Speaker 2: I called the doctor she's and I said, what is
Speaker 2: the percentage that this will turn into a baby?
Speaker 3: And she was like not very high.
Speaker 2: It was like I think almost thirty percent, which is something.
Speaker 2: And I called my friend who had just been through
Speaker 2: all this, and I said what do you think?
Speaker 3: And she's like, your.
Speaker 2: Body was pregnant before, maybe that's a good sign. Put
Speaker 2: the other one in and I was like, yeah, maybe
Speaker 2: since my body was technically pregnant.
Speaker 3: So I did that and it lasted. That's my daughter.
Speaker 2: But I will say I was so terrified every step
Speaker 2: of the way, and that's something that they just don't
Speaker 2: tell you, like that terror, that fear that I had,
Speaker 2: like every single second. Every doctor's like is the heart
Speaker 2: still beating? Does she have all ten fingers and toes?
Speaker 2: Even now, Like I've got like ten rotating worries that
Speaker 2: I'm worried about with her, Like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to talk to you about that. I
Speaker 1: know from your book you had said this was huge
Speaker 1: struck me so hugely. It seems to me as a
Speaker 1: reader that a anxiety is something that struck you so
Speaker 1: hugely during your pregnancy obviously, so I mean, this is
Speaker 1: your one last egg. You wanted this so badly, God forbid,
Speaker 1: something happened. You had already had a miscarriage, and.
Speaker 3: I already tried to do it every other way.
Speaker 1: And you tried to do it every other fucking way.
Speaker 1: And then it's not like you said in the anxiety,
Speaker 1: what you've birthed I think I quoted it in my
Speaker 1: notes was in what You're birthing is also eternal fear.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 3: That. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think like for some people, like maybe they've been
Speaker 2: neurotic and fearful their whole lives and that's just something
Speaker 2: they've always dealt with.
Speaker 1: But for me, daring as shit, you're on like flashed planes,
Speaker 1: there's an extra seat to Africa. You're like, I'll go.
Speaker 1: You like moved to Australia with a boyfriend. Like I
Speaker 1: would never have done the shit you did. So it
Speaker 1: is like crazy that anxiety has shown up for you.
Speaker 2: And it's a problem with my husband because he's like,
Speaker 2: why aren't you the person you used to be? Why
Speaker 2: are you so scared? And part of the reason I'm
Speaker 2: so scared it is because he's so nonchalant. I mean,
Speaker 2: we're like central casting for like typical dad, typical mom.
Speaker 1: Yes, he's just.
Speaker 2: So easy breezy, She's fine, send her to school.
Speaker 3: I'm like, is anyone thinking about this?
Speaker 1: Am I the only person thinking about this?
Speaker 3: Now? Wait?
Speaker 1: Also, in your book, though you had said to him
Speaker 1: in the chapter I think where you interview him, which
Speaker 1: is one of my favorite chapters in the book, but
Speaker 1: you said that you thought a lot of the anxiety
Speaker 1: would go away by the time she turned five, and
Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong. But at the time of
Speaker 1: the recording of this podcast, she's turning five if like
Speaker 1: a week.
Speaker 3: I know, and he's and he's like, okay, this better stop. Now.
Speaker 2: I have this complete like anxiety around summer camp, which
Speaker 2: it's February and la.
Speaker 3: I don't know if people experience this in other cities.
Speaker 1: But lope, they don't. They don't, but here it's a
Speaker 1: fucking nightmare.
Speaker 2: Every summer camp is four days long, and you're supposed
Speaker 2: to put your child in like twelve little different four
Speaker 2: day long summer camps that all have weight lists that
Speaker 2: that are full by February. I can't get on weight lists.
Speaker 2: I can't like set an alarm. I mean, I guess
Speaker 2: I can, but I just don't.
Speaker 1: That is no, this is ridiculous. I'm not there yet.
Speaker 1: My son is five. I've kept him in nursery school
Speaker 1: for a long time, and I've heard that if I
Speaker 1: want to sign him up for these classes after school
Speaker 1: next year, that I have to be setting an alarm
Speaker 1: on my laptop and sign up where it's going to
Speaker 1: be full and you're not going to get in the
Speaker 1: lego class and then silent. If you think that's bad,
Speaker 1: you're fucked for summer camp in La, which is an
Speaker 1: absolute nightmare. It's the same thing. You better set your alarm.
Speaker 1: Your husband needs to set his alarm. I'm not doing it.
Speaker 3: But it's not even a full summer. It's four days.
Speaker 1: It's not even like it's four days. And now you're
Speaker 1: figuring out the next one to get on the wait
Speaker 1: list four and also what's the new address and who's
Speaker 1: getting her there? It's absolute horseshit. And here's my question, though, Yes,
Speaker 1: how are you feeling about her turning five? And how
Speaker 1: is your anxiety?
Speaker 2: Well, say it does more into something else, but I
Speaker 2: am like couple's therapy and therapy in general is helping that,
Speaker 2: and I'm trying to manage worry.
Speaker 3: Something can be.
Speaker 2: A concern without having to be a catastrophe. And I
Speaker 2: think that as like new mothers, at least, my experience
Speaker 2: was like I was always catastrophizing like any little thing,
Speaker 2: and like every time you log onto Facebook, some toddlers
Speaker 2: died from rep bite, fever or whatever it is. There's
Speaker 2: just this constant thing. And I have a friend as
Speaker 2: a doctor and she shared with me, which was made
Speaker 2: me cry. But like a lot of infant deaths and
Speaker 2: children happen before age five, five is when they can
Speaker 2: start being a little more safe on their own, because
Speaker 2: that's five full years where you're just like worried of
Speaker 2: them like falling down steps and choking.
Speaker 1: Are you still cutting her grapes up to like one eighth?
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 2: She's a pretty voracious eater, so I don't worry that much.
Speaker 3: But it's like a brand.
Speaker 2: New thing of me trying to like just be able
Speaker 2: to be concerned about something without making it like an extreme.
Speaker 1: Yeah, making a real there's a real difference between concern
Speaker 1: and catastrophe. For me, I am one of those people
Speaker 1: who I find something to worry about regardless. I'm one
Speaker 1: of those New Yorker like anxious people always have been
Speaker 1: my son. For some reason, I was okay or masked it.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I survived. But my daughter was
Speaker 1: born in COVID and I got pregnant a week before shutdown,
Speaker 1: and it was my anxiety was so horrific that it
Speaker 1: was postpartum depression and anxiety. And I honestly would save
Speaker 1: my life though. And I don't know but if you've
Speaker 1: ever had medication, but honestly, zoloft is the thing that
Speaker 1: fucking I don't know what I would have done. And
Speaker 1: thank God because being on that side, the chill side,
Speaker 1: or your husband's side, or my husband's side, because my
Speaker 1: husband is also similar to Mosha, where he's like, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be fine. You're making everything worse. Stop so much
Speaker 1: so that whenever I google, I have to let him
Speaker 1: google things and he just filters for me and tells
Speaker 1: me what I need to know.
Speaker 2: You know what else really helped me is my husband
Speaker 2: telling me, he's like, there is no way that our
Speaker 2: child is not subconsciously feeling your anxiety and fear, and
Speaker 2: that it's not going to affect her in some way
Speaker 2: hearing that, I'm like, oh, of course, because why.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't she be why wouldn't she sense this? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Has she ever said anything to you about it?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Not yet.
Speaker 3: No, Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Yesterday I walk in and Mosha and her are watching
Speaker 2: Black Panther and there's just like machine guns and I
Speaker 2: was like, no, this is not okay, and I just
Speaker 2: started yelling.
Speaker 1: I was so mad, and yeah, yeah I would I
Speaker 1: would have been pissed.
Speaker 3: And she was just like, mom, it's fine.
Speaker 2: I really did feel like she could probably handle it,
Speaker 2: but like machine gun, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I would rather wait on that.
Speaker 1: But in the end she's okay. She's okay because she's loved. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's gonna be okay. I feel so connected to
Speaker 1: moms who struggle with anxiety and catastrophized bad things happen
Speaker 1: with their kids, because I really truly understand that feeling,
Speaker 1: and it sucks. It's really hard.
Speaker 2: And then there's like the images you have, Like we
Speaker 2: were in a pool once and there it was like
Speaker 2: an indoor pool and there was like a stairway and
Speaker 2: my husband like threw her into the pool. She almost
Speaker 2: hit the stairway because he hadn't seen the stairway and
Speaker 2: it's like she's fine and it didn't happen.
Speaker 1: No, but you see the image of a broken neck
Speaker 1: in her floating at the top of the cool.
Speaker 2: And I've never I would have never thought that's the thing.
Speaker 2: It's like this, I would have never thought of that
Speaker 2: until he almost did it, you know.
Speaker 3: And it's like I could have done it too. It's
Speaker 3: not his fault.
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, it's just they're just so vulnerable, and
Speaker 2: just what it's done to me is like, really put
Speaker 2: my own self care on the back burner because she's
Speaker 2: so important. And I have found that my husband doesn't
Speaker 2: do that. He's always following his passions and going surfing
Speaker 2: and playing the new video game and staying up late
Speaker 2: and having fun and doing this thing, whereas I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm just it's almost like I'm at war and
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to do like this triage of like
Speaker 2: how can I just be keeping her safe and healthy?
Speaker 2: And and she even said to me today, she's mom,
Speaker 2: don't you need to buy yourself some socks? And then
Speaker 2: she goes and don't you need some underwear too? And
Speaker 2: I was like, how do you know I need underwear?
Speaker 2: She's like, I saw your drawer. There's not that many.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I think some of the biggest things
Speaker 1: that have come about since motherhood for you is you
Speaker 1: never knew you could love something more than you love yourself,
Speaker 1: which I think is amazing and I agree with.
Speaker 2: Hopefully my agent doesn't listen to this, because if they
Speaker 2: know that you're not a narcissist in Hollywood, you're done.
Speaker 1: Done. And the other thing I think is with this
Speaker 1: love and quoting Judy Garland in your book and having
Speaker 1: your heart outside of your own body, this huge piece
Speaker 1: of your identity now about having this anxiety and caring
Speaker 1: so much about somebody else's well being has just never
Speaker 1: been your story. It was never mine either. We're both actors,
Speaker 1: So you're a fucking narcissist. We've always been about career
Speaker 1: and all of that. How has it changed your marriage?
Speaker 2: Oh, it's definitely made it worse. I mean, that's what
Speaker 2: nobody wants to say.
Speaker 1: That's why I love you and everyone needs to read
Speaker 1: this fucking book because you're saying what everyone else is feeling.
Speaker 3: There's no way it's as good.
Speaker 2: Maybe like there's a few instances, but it's like it
Speaker 2: really wears down like it. Our kid sleeps with us
Speaker 2: right now because she's just in this stage where she
Speaker 2: comes in in the middle of the night every night,
Speaker 2: and it's like I want that to end, but I'm
Speaker 2: sure it will, but that's not what's happening right now. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's just hard. You're exhausted. There's very little time for romance.
Speaker 2: The house for me, like my space being clean is
Speaker 2: so important. And then I was able to deal with
Speaker 2: my husband's add disaster, chaotic mass that beginning stages of desire,
Speaker 2: that's just like a different thing.
Speaker 3: And now like the energy is like a pandemic.
Speaker 2: Later a child who's leaving the same amount of mass
Speaker 2: his mass.
Speaker 1: You feel like a mess because I'm the same. I can't.
Speaker 1: I need everything to be I love when my house
Speaker 1: looks beautiful and organized. It's how like how I present
Speaker 1: my brain on the outside. But have you been able
Speaker 1: to let any of that go? Have you been like,
Speaker 1: of all the battles I'm going to fight today, one
Speaker 1: is not making sure the house is clean, Like, I
Speaker 1: just can't take that on, And I'm going to make
Speaker 1: the choice to do self care instead or do something
Speaker 1: for my own career. Does that ever happen.
Speaker 3: No, Well, here's what I'll do. I'll clean a room.
Speaker 2: I'll be like, Okay, I'm gonna take a bath. And
Speaker 2: he's really cool about I got her, you do your thing.
Speaker 2: So I'll like clean the bathroom, take a bath. I
Speaker 2: am not relaxing in chaos, Like it's just not who
Speaker 2: I am, and I would like to learn how to
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 3: One thing I've learned how to do is not lead
Speaker 3: with that.
Speaker 2: So if we walk into the house and it's like
Speaker 2: a disaster, I'll try to like talk about it in.
Speaker 3: A few minutes.
Speaker 2: Here's another thing I've done. This is actually this is
Speaker 2: a practical thing that's really been helping me. Is like
Speaker 2: as soon as my daughter goes to school, I get
Speaker 2: out a black garbage bag and just start throwing away
Speaker 2: all the crap.
Speaker 3: There's just broken toys, board games.
Speaker 1: Left over breakfast, Like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, two candy lands and they're all missing pieces and
Speaker 2: inside of them are Uno cards but there's only half
Speaker 2: the deck.
Speaker 3: Like I'm just like throwing that shit away. I can't
Speaker 3: deal with it.
Speaker 2: Just taking that black garbage bag and just throwing my
Speaker 2: husband shit like just like.
Speaker 3: That has really been giving me some soulace.
Speaker 1: Okay, we like this. Just take a fucking they go
Speaker 1: to school, grab your garbage bag and just start throwing
Speaker 1: shit out. You have, though, you do say a lot
Speaker 1: in the book about how traditions are a huge part
Speaker 1: of your family. You converted to Judaism, and you love Shabbat,
Speaker 1: which I do too. We do Shabbat also.
Speaker 3: You do Shabbat shaloon. By the way, Shabbat shalom.
Speaker 1: I love. Yes, And you were saying, like, I think
Speaker 1: it's four c's that you said that. I can't remember,
Speaker 1: but it was like it ended in cock.
Speaker 3: Oh, Cabernet.
Speaker 2: It is a beautiful holiday in the sense that it's
Speaker 2: from sundown's Friday to sundown Saturday. It's like you're drinking wine,
Speaker 2: you're having sex, you're not having sex the whole time.
Speaker 2: You go on a walk, try to put down your devices,
Speaker 2: you cook.
Speaker 1: You light candles, and you sort of take a pause
Speaker 1: say prayers. Have you been able to keep that up?
Speaker 1: And does that help with the with your marriage?
Speaker 2: Yes, totally having that and also another thing like I
Speaker 2: don't want to totally throw my husband under the bus
Speaker 2: because obviously no, it's amazing to have this like family
Speaker 2: and the three of us, like having this really close
Speaker 2: family and it's I really love so many aspects of it.
Speaker 2: Something that's really been helping me is like identifying what
Speaker 2: my husband is good at. He's really good at cooking,
Speaker 2: so I'm like, okay, even though he makes a complete
Speaker 2: fucking mess where like every cabinet is open and every
Speaker 2: spice has the hop off of it, but it's like
Speaker 2: he's good at that. So I'm like, okay, can you
Speaker 2: just be in charge of cooking? Can you cook every
Speaker 2: night at six?
Speaker 1: And he's like, okay, great.
Speaker 2: And then while I said that, I was like, and
Speaker 2: by the way, can you just be in charge of
Speaker 2: the dogs too?
Speaker 3: And he was like okay.
Speaker 2: So just not having to give our dogs their medicine
Speaker 2: and food and do all the things that that was
Speaker 2: It's huge. So giving him those two things to do
Speaker 2: so then at least I can clean up after everybody
Speaker 2: and not also have to feed the dog, make it,
Speaker 2: and also make the food. Because his standards of cleaning
Speaker 2: aren't the same as mine. He'll just think we're nailing
Speaker 2: it and it's just my skin is crawling. So it's
Speaker 2: just different upbringings. I guess to bring that back to
Speaker 2: Shabbah yes, like him saying the prayers and cooking us
Speaker 2: dinner and having that little family time.
Speaker 3: It is really nice.
Speaker 1: Do you turn your phones off for twenty four hours?
Speaker 1: We don't.
Speaker 3: No, I do.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not like that addicted to my phone
Speaker 2: at all. I find it like a respite to get
Speaker 2: rid of my phone and to just turn it off.
Speaker 2: And if you do want to do that, you really
Speaker 2: do have to like figure out what time sunset is
Speaker 2: and send out a mass email response like my phone is.
Speaker 3: Not going to be on available.
Speaker 2: Anything you're going to do Saturday, you have to plan
Speaker 2: it ahead of time on Friday.
Speaker 3: But the few times I do that and.
Speaker 2: Then have the Hubbdalla ceremony at eight pm on Saturday,
Speaker 2: it's beautiful.
Speaker 3: It's amazing.
Speaker 2: A book I read called it Spirituality in Time. So
Speaker 2: in this twenty four just in signing out for these
Speaker 2: twenty four hours, you're having this beautiful experience.
Speaker 3: I would still watch TV, but just like getting.
Speaker 2: Away from the phone, I think is like really important.
Speaker 1: Huge traditions are a really beautiful way when you're starting
Speaker 1: a new family. It's like you're figuring out. We had
Speaker 1: a similar thing where like my mom's Jewish my dad's
Speaker 1: Irish Catholic, but my mom really wasn't religious, So I
Speaker 1: actually grew up celebrating more Catholic holidays because my dad's
Speaker 1: family was very religious and my mom's family was not.
Speaker 1: And then I married my husband, who's like a fucking
Speaker 1: super Jew and loves Judaism. Mine too loves it, and
Speaker 1: he did such a beautiful job of introducing me to
Speaker 1: traditions and holidays that he knew that I would love.
Speaker 1: And so we have this like nice hodgepodge thing going
Speaker 1: on that we're sort of inventing as we go. I know,
Speaker 1: in your household it's different because your husband wouldn't have
Speaker 1: never had a Christmas tree and you grew up Italian
Speaker 1: like Catholic.
Speaker 2: Right, I'm definitely regretting saying that I was okay without
Speaker 2: a Christmas tree.
Speaker 3: This year, I had a nature table.
Speaker 1: Nice some garlands.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we had like garlands and candles, and like
Speaker 2: when we'd go to the beach, we'd bring back like
Speaker 2: skulls and shells. And then I got like a big
Speaker 2: pail and put all kinds of flowers and pine stuff.
Speaker 3: So it did feel like festive to have that.
Speaker 2: And I did have a Hanica Bush one year, So
Speaker 2: I'm slowly trying to introduce that. Yes, but when you
Speaker 2: decide to have a family, sometimes it's modeled for you
Speaker 2: in your own family. But I grew up as a
Speaker 2: latchkey kid with a working mom who was divorced, and
Speaker 2: we didn't really have anything like that. And then when
Speaker 2: you see the weekly Shabbat like that, I do feel
Speaker 2: like there is just something.
Speaker 3: It's very family forward.
Speaker 2: And it's that's why I was totally fine to convert,
Speaker 2: because I saw like what it did to the families
Speaker 2: that we would visit and his relatives. You know, it
Speaker 2: was just like made you just very family focused. Coming
Speaker 2: from a divorced family and a dad who was just
Speaker 2: always off doing his own thing, going to nightclubs, ignoring
Speaker 2: my mom, it was like nice to see that, Oh
Speaker 2: the man is like home on Friday and he's he's
Speaker 2: helping with the dinner, blessing me, blessing the kid. And
Speaker 2: I thought, oh, Judaism really does show you how to
Speaker 2: be a family, almost through those holidays and through a
Speaker 2: weekly holiday. Because Christianity, it's yeah, Christmas, Easter, but that's
Speaker 2: those are six months apart.
Speaker 1: It's hard not to feel a little beige. When you
Speaker 1: decide to have a baby, it really starts to feel
Speaker 1: like you're living the same life as every mother you meet.
Speaker 1: Do you just feel like a, I can't believe I'm
Speaker 1: in this rat race, or has the beige neess sort
Speaker 1: of worn off?
Speaker 2: So I don't feel that as much anymore because I
Speaker 2: see that I'm failing.
Speaker 3: You're not, no, not failing.
Speaker 2: But like, as I meet more moms like you, become
Speaker 2: friends with the moms who are like, this is their
Speaker 2: full time job and I'm just trying to like stand
Speaker 2: behind them and save our text.
Speaker 1: Threads totally, but like, we're not those zumps.
Speaker 3: I do the same.
Speaker 1: I always think it's really great to line up some
Speaker 1: moms who are like, the mom is the first and
Speaker 1: foremost thing, because then they do all the research and
Speaker 1: then they can just tell you the shit because I can't.
Speaker 1: I'm in a very similar vote to you. Going back
Speaker 1: a minute, your husband and you got into an argument.
Speaker 1: I wanted to ask you this about the IVF thing.
Speaker 1: Why never a surrogate, Like, why after putting your body,
Speaker 1: which I'm sure was so hard through all the IUI
Speaker 1: and IVF and hormones and miscarriage and all of that.
Speaker 2: I was completely terrified to be pregnant. I didn't want
Speaker 2: to be pregnant. I wanted to be a mom. I
Speaker 2: did not want to carry the baby. I begged him.
Speaker 2: We met at a surrogacy office. We actually were matched
Speaker 2: with a surrogate. We did a zoom with them, and
Speaker 2: my husband was just like, you're just gonna rent out
Speaker 2: her womb and I was like, she's gonna get paid,
Speaker 2: Like I just I cannot be pregnant.
Speaker 3: I don't want this to happen to me.
Speaker 2: And the straw that kind of broke it all was
Speaker 2: that the woman's husband worked at a paint factory. Something
Speaker 2: about the fumes or I don't know, there was something
Speaker 2: that just felt like a little off and he was
Speaker 2: like no, And then I kept going to the doctor
Speaker 2: and I'm like, you know, I'm like forty, like don't
Speaker 2: you think like it's bad for me to have to
Speaker 2: carry the baby. And he's like, your womb is a
Speaker 2: tent out of ten. He was just like all into
Speaker 2: my womb and telling me how good it was, or
Speaker 2: my uterus, and I was just like thinking he wanted
Speaker 2: to fuck my uterus.
Speaker 3: He was just like, your uterus is amazing. So then
Speaker 3: finally I just I was like, you know what, I'll
Speaker 3: just fine, I'll do it.
Speaker 1: Fine, let's just do it. You did get your way
Speaker 1: in that you did not have a vaginal birth, which
Speaker 1: you had no interest in.
Speaker 2: I was terrified, and like my mom had three C sections.
Speaker 2: I was just like, I just had this like vision
Speaker 2: that I was going to be shopping because my mom
Speaker 2: told me she was like out and then her water
Speaker 2: broke and my dad was at a bar and she
Speaker 2: had to like find her way to the hospital. It
Speaker 2: just all sounded awful, and I asked my doctor. I
Speaker 2: was like, can we please schedule my sea section? I
Speaker 2: don't want to be grunting and screaming. And he was like, okay,
Speaker 2: if it doesn't start to drop by this date, and
Speaker 2: it wasn't dropping, and he was like, okay, how's February
Speaker 2: twenty second And I was like, perfect, I'll cancel my
Speaker 2: eyebrow wax. And it was also based on the fact
Speaker 2: that it was very tight and nothing was opening or
Speaker 2: dropping right. So many people I knew had emergency sea sections,
Speaker 2: including a friend who has a scar that goes from
Speaker 2: like the bottom of her breast down to her pubic bone.
Speaker 2: Sideways like a slash because it was an emergency. No.
Speaker 1: By the way, I know people who have elective sea sections.
Speaker 1: We've done podcast episodes about it. I begged mine to
Speaker 1: have it sections. It was like yeah, but I didn't
Speaker 1: have it because she was like, how soon after do
Speaker 1: you have to be back at work? I was like
Speaker 1: three weeks later. She was like, there's no way in
Speaker 1: hell he's solow. You're gonna get this baby out. In
Speaker 1: my opinion, won't be a big thing. It was a
Speaker 1: big thing, but in regards to other people's stories, it
Speaker 1: was actually and everyone can curse at me all they want.
Speaker 1: It was relatively like three pushes that I was out.
Speaker 2: Did you get to scream at your husband during that too?
Speaker 2: That part seemed cool?
Speaker 1: You fucking I never it was so quiet, like I
Speaker 1: didn't make any sounds because I had this woman, thank god.
Speaker 1: She was like, don't use your face to push you
Speaker 1: put all that energy down into your fucking buttole don't
Speaker 1: waste it on your face. And I was like, okay.
Speaker 1: You listed a number of things you found in readings
Speaker 1: of what a parent should or shouldn't say to a kid.
Speaker 1: Do you curse in front of your child?
Speaker 2: You know, I do, and I'm like, and then if
Speaker 2: she says something, I'm like, okay, we can just say
Speaker 2: that in our house, like those are a bad words.
Speaker 2: You're not supposed to say it outside of the house.
Speaker 2: And she doesn't really do that. She knows it's a
Speaker 2: bad word.
Speaker 3: She knows, and she'll be like mom.
Speaker 2: Because then sometimes we'll we'll be playing a game and
Speaker 2: I'll be like, gosh, narne, or I'll say something like
Speaker 2: that and she's mom, that's a bad word, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's not. It's just I'll be like frick and she's
Speaker 2: just like that, no, okay, So she's you know.
Speaker 1: Do not hire a hot nanny. Best advice ever. I
Speaker 1: got it from so many very successful actresses in this
Speaker 1: business when I was having my kids. But does that
Speaker 1: mean I'm was ugly because I was a nanny for
Speaker 1: a really fuckingm No.
Speaker 2: And here's the thing too, It's like my husband. It
Speaker 2: would take a lot for my husband to not be
Speaker 2: attracted to somebody. My version of hot is different than
Speaker 2: his version of hot. If she has big tits, he's
Speaker 2: probably not gonna stop talking about it. You don't want
Speaker 2: your husband to be too attracted where it's like distracting.
Speaker 2: And we had this girl come over and it was
Speaker 2: almost like just observe your husband in the interview.
Speaker 3: He was like had this pep and his step and
Speaker 3: he was like talking to her and trying to make
Speaker 3: her lap. He was just like all.
Speaker 2: I know, and it was like something about the way
Speaker 2: he was acting. It was like distracting and taking up
Speaker 2: too much of his energy. And I was just like, no,
Speaker 2: this is not like, this is not a fit.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad we're having this conversation. I have had
Speaker 1: a full time nanny, the same one for five years.
Speaker 1: She's sixty seven, and she's all of our nanny is
Speaker 1: to be completely honest, and we will be transitioning in
Speaker 1: the fall as my son is going to be starting
Speaker 1: kindergarten and my daughter is going to be starting nursery school,
Speaker 1: so we're going to be moving to a part time nanny.
Speaker 1: And so the conversations are already bruin where it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, it would be really fun to have like
Speaker 1: a twenty something who's gonna like pick him up, because
Speaker 1: it's a different kind of job. When you pick him
Speaker 1: up from school, he might go to baseball, you might
Speaker 1: have to pick her up, but it's like not full
Speaker 1: time type of a workload, and I'm like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're not doing that.
Speaker 2: Also, I'm sorry about I don't want a twenty year
Speaker 2: old driving my child.
Speaker 1: Yes, I know. People used to hire me to do that,
Speaker 1: and I would smoke fucking cigarette what and take no
Speaker 1: not what the kid was in the car. I would smoke,
Speaker 1: pick her up, spray the car like air it out,
Speaker 1: put her in the back of my car.
Speaker 3: This is me at like.
Speaker 1: Twenty four, driving around Los Angeles and I even a
Speaker 1: couple times took her out on dates with dudes. Her
Speaker 1: mother's a very good friend of mine, where I would
Speaker 1: have the guy that I was sort of dating, like
Speaker 1: meet me at travel town, like where the trains are?
Speaker 1: Do you want to come and meet me at the zoo?
Speaker 1: Like I used to do that shit. That is not okay.
Speaker 3: I know it is really hard. I want to be
Speaker 3: there too.
Speaker 2: I want to be there after school because if I'm
Speaker 2: just around, she just starts talking about her day and
Speaker 2: it's so hard on me, Like how is your day?
Speaker 3: I don't know, fine, would you do eat? Like she
Speaker 3: won't tell me anything.
Speaker 2: But then it's like finally she does start talking if
Speaker 2: you're the one there.
Speaker 1: Talk to you. Yeah, nanny, she's going to talk to her.
Speaker 1: Your daughter's birthday is coming soon. What are the plans
Speaker 1: for the day.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I feel bad because first of all,
Speaker 2: she has three different birthday events and literally I don't
Speaker 2: remember one of.
Speaker 3: My birthday parties. Nope, from childhood, not one.
Speaker 1: I remember thirteen a little bit.
Speaker 3: I is a blur.
Speaker 2: But like we're just like, I want a mythical themed
Speaker 2: birthday party. So my husband found like a woman who's
Speaker 2: a mermaid who does magic and a cotton candy machine.
Speaker 2: And then we started like googling people to come over
Speaker 2: to your house to make to do a cotton candy machine.
Speaker 3: And it's like so expensive.
Speaker 2: Now my husband's buying a cotton candy machine to do
Speaker 2: it himself, and I was like, oh my god, he's
Speaker 2: just gonna be like covered in syrup. This is gonna
Speaker 2: be a nightmare. But still, it's like we're putting so
Speaker 2: much energy into this. Oh and then we're taking her
Speaker 2: to Lake Arrowheads so she can wake up up in
Speaker 2: the snow because she's always wanted to see the snow.
Speaker 2: This is one of the problems with having an only child,
Speaker 2: because I'm like, we have like time to give her.
Speaker 3: We're very conscious of it.
Speaker 2: We want her to have this magical experience because we
Speaker 2: love her so much. How can we, you know, how
Speaker 2: do we make her spoiled? But maybe not a brand?
Speaker 1: Yeah there. We had this amazing expert on Katie's Crib
Speaker 1: named Ron Lieber who wrote a book called How Not
Speaker 1: to Spoil Your Kid. It's a really great book and
Speaker 1: or you can listen to the episode on this podcast.
Speaker 1: But he goes into people's home and consults people who
Speaker 1: are like, we only take private planes without children. There
Speaker 1: are people who are doing crazy shit and have crazy
Speaker 1: amount of money that he works with. But also, I
Speaker 1: understand what you're saying. If I have access to be
Speaker 1: able to give her these things, and she's the thing
Speaker 1: I love the most in this world, and I just
Speaker 1: want to give her everything. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: I want to teach her the value of money and
Speaker 1: that this is why we work hard, and that not
Speaker 1: every thing can be given to her easily. I don't
Speaker 1: have any answers to that, but I know that there
Speaker 1: are professionals that do, and they have been on this
Speaker 1: fucking podcast.
Speaker 2: And I would like to say like almost as a
Speaker 2: spiritual practice. I am really trying to say no to
Speaker 2: her because my husband's way better at it, and I
Speaker 2: know that I would be creating a rap. She's just
Speaker 2: like constantly, you know, can I have candy? Can I
Speaker 2: do this? Can I do this? And sometimes it's just
Speaker 2: so easy to just be like.
Speaker 3: Sure, here, yeah, just quiet, take it. Get crying this right.
Speaker 2: Very hard, at least every day to do it in
Speaker 2: some way or another, to like say no because we
Speaker 2: have to.
Speaker 3: It's so hard.
Speaker 1: You mentioned wondering that if you were to have more kids,
Speaker 1: if there would be a possibility to give birth to
Speaker 1: the next to Greta Thunberg. Looking into the future when
Speaker 1: your child is older, do you envision her doing something?
Speaker 3: It's funny.
Speaker 2: The other day I was like, what do you think
Speaker 2: you'll do when you grow up? She's like, I want
Speaker 2: to do whatever is the easiest, So probably a scientist.
Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, that is not right, that's
Speaker 2: not easy, not easy. You have no, you probably have
Speaker 2: no talent for science. I didn't say this part, but
Speaker 2: I think that one thing I have done that I
Speaker 2: am really proud of is I've put her in like
Speaker 2: outdoor nature schools her whole life. So she is just
Speaker 2: like very in tune with nature and like always.
Speaker 3: Oh mom, did you see this flower? Did you see
Speaker 3: this rock?
Speaker 2: She's just always collecting, and then they teach it in
Speaker 2: the school because they're literally like I drop her off
Speaker 2: in a park and they're playing with sticks.
Speaker 1: That's awesome. That's so awesome. So there's some environmental aspect
Speaker 1: to her future. There's some nature, outdoorsy environmental connection. That's
Speaker 1: great because I'm terrified that my kids are just going
Speaker 1: to be in the business, like absolutely fucking horrified. I
Speaker 1: refuse to sign them up for any cute play, theater, singing. Nope,
Speaker 1: like not happening. And when I ask my son what
Speaker 1: he wants to do, he says, I just want to
Speaker 1: be an actor and sell pretzels because your husband has
Speaker 1: a soft pretzel company. And I'm like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: Like how am I already not letting him like believe,
Speaker 1: just imagine bigger than what we're showing him. It's a nightmare.
Speaker 3: I want some soft pretzels.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, shappy pretzel anytime you want. They're delicious. My
Speaker 1: husband started the business during the pandemic. It's weird. We
Speaker 1: do pretzels for everything. It's my whole life.
Speaker 2: Maybe instead of the cotton candy machine for her birthday,
Speaker 2: we'll get some shappies.
Speaker 1: We do birthday parties, we do bot mitzvahs, we do
Speaker 1: it all. Since we have this big five year old
Speaker 1: milestone birthday coming up, is there any advice that you'd
Speaker 1: like to give your five year old daughter?
Speaker 3: Advice or like reprimand.
Speaker 2: Either one just to breathe and it will all happen,
Speaker 2: because I think that she's like us, she's just really
Speaker 2: has a hard time focusing on things. And also, trust me,
Speaker 2: Barbie is bad and crap. I really want her to
Speaker 2: do something like if I have a podcast and I'm like, okay, fine,
Speaker 2: you can watch Barbie, but like usually I'm trying to
Speaker 2: have her not watch that.
Speaker 1: Oh god, god, I had so many Barbies growing up though.
Speaker 3: I know, but it is so dumb. They're like always
Speaker 3: on vacation.
Speaker 1: It's awful. It's awful, so.
Speaker 3: Focused on like their looks.
Speaker 1: Barbie is bad. Barbie is bad. That's what we're saying.
Speaker 1: I haven't gotten there yet because my daughter's too and
Speaker 1: she's not she's right now just obsessed with babies, which
Speaker 1: I'm just like, what the fuck? My son like, truly
Speaker 1: never and I don't think I played like that either,
Speaker 1: but she couldn't. She's one of these little girls that
Speaker 1: can hold five plastic babies at one time, and everything
Speaker 1: is like.
Speaker 3: Oh bbbbbbe And I'm like, is this okay?
Speaker 1: Like you have to run the world, like you have
Speaker 1: to be Ruth Bader Ginsburg, like we can't be focusing
Speaker 1: on babies, but it's okay.
Speaker 3: I'm leaning in.
Speaker 1: I want her to be happy right now. She loves
Speaker 1: them babies, okay. Oh, lastly, I wrote this, Gangham Style
Speaker 1: is also my fucking son's favorite. He's like, I'm only
Speaker 1: listening to Gangham Style, Pokemon.
Speaker 3: Whatever, Dude, I would never have shown her that song.
Speaker 1: So some of your friends showed her Gangham Style and
Speaker 1: it's been that since then.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm trying to get her off of that.
Speaker 2: Literally any electronic she comes up to it and she's like,
Speaker 2: Alexa play Gangam Style. I'm like, that is a heater,
Speaker 2: Like she's just obsessed and because she also knows how,
Speaker 2: And I said, listen, you can talk to Alexa, but
Speaker 2: that song is off limits.
Speaker 1: She's listening to me now, finish this sentence, parenthood is.
Speaker 3: Degrading one we've never had. I mean, it's other things too,
Speaker 3: but it is degrade of course it is.
Speaker 1: But it's whatever the first thing that comes to mind.
Speaker 3: We get it.
Speaker 1: We know it's also beautiful and challenging and rewarding and
Speaker 1: a roller coaster. It's also degrading.
Speaker 3: I remember being in Paris. I took my kid to Paris.
Speaker 2: I was just like on my knees, like wiping, like
Speaker 2: on this beautiful street, just like wiping her mouth. And
Speaker 2: I was like, what is this feeling? Like in the
Speaker 2: back of my stretch jeans had I like was like,
Speaker 2: what is this ball? And it was like my underwear
Speaker 2: from like the night before because I had run out
Speaker 2: of the house because we were running late. I used
Speaker 2: to walk down the streets of Paris and try to
Speaker 2: make eye contact with some cute boys or something.
Speaker 3: And now I'm just like, it's so there is that
Speaker 3: degrading element.
Speaker 1: Will we ever get it back? Natasha?
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I think you're such a star, and you're such an
Speaker 1: inspiration and you're a fucking great mom.
Speaker 3: Thank you great mom.
Speaker 2: And maybe we'll never get back to pre motherhood personalities,
Speaker 2: but maybe there's a way to integrate.
Speaker 3: And also it is really special to have.
Speaker 2: These like beautiful families and all these new experiences and
Speaker 2: seeing things through your child's eyes.
Speaker 3: It's cool. It's like you have this new like travel
Speaker 3: companion and even food. I'll give her like strong cheese
Speaker 3: and she's like, this is blowing my mind. No, she
Speaker 3: has such a palette. Look at her. That's what I mean.
Speaker 3: It's like you get all this instead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, for example, it might be the biggest pain
Speaker 1: in the ass that your husband's going to buy a
Speaker 1: cotton candy machine, but there's a real chance that you're
Speaker 1: going to get to experience snow for the first time
Speaker 1: through her eyes because you chose to fight this fight
Speaker 1: to have a baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you know, Yeah, is the romance
Speaker 3: and everything morphed into something a little dead? Yeah, but buying.
Speaker 2: But you know what, maybe the husband will die in
Speaker 2: a decade and you'll get your chance of an elder
Speaker 2: like a second act romance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they might be like really young. I don't know,
Speaker 1: this is all so insane. I'm so happy you came
Speaker 1: on Katie's crib. Everybody who's listening, Go download on your kindle,
Speaker 1: Go to a bookstore, whatever you do. Natasha Laziro's The
Speaker 1: World Deserves My Children. She looks so fucking fierce on
Speaker 1: the cover in this gorgeous red dress. Your hair is fire,
Speaker 1: and there's literally a picture of the world exploding through
Speaker 1: her kitchen sink window.
Speaker 3: Oh. You know what's so funny.
Speaker 2: I did this photo shoot during the pandemic and my
Speaker 2: nanny was like extremely obsessed with not getting COVID and
Speaker 2: this photo shoot sent her over the roof and she quit.
Speaker 3: On this day.
Speaker 1: You know what worth it? That shot? You look absolutely gorgeous,
Speaker 1: and it was worth it because you got that amazing,
Speaker 1: astounding book cover out of it. The book is a
Speaker 1: laugh riot. I think it's thank you I'm reading this.
Speaker 3: That's so nice that you actually read it.
Speaker 1: Oh, I said before you came on it.
Speaker 3: You know, I have to.
Speaker 1: I read a lot of books for the podcast, which
Speaker 1: is great, and a lot of them are Emily Oster
Speaker 1: and books about facts and all of that, which just
Speaker 1: make me feel like I'm failing all the time. But
Speaker 1: your book was such a joy. You're a great mom,
Speaker 1: and you're admittedly like the rest of us, which is,
Speaker 1: what the fuck are we doing? And where did my
Speaker 1: life go?
Speaker 3: Thank you, and you know what, I'll get on some sola.
Speaker 3: Maybe that would help.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for listening to today's episode.
Speaker 1: I want to hear from you. Let's chat questions, comments, concerns.
Speaker 3: Let me know.
Speaker 1: You can always find me at Katie'scrib at shondaland dot com.
Speaker 1: Katie's Crib is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit the
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite shows.
Speaker 2: It's too fast to start