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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice on relationships, sex, dating, work, parenting, and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, we could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air. You hear that, just like

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Speaker 1: we're gonna read this one right here, right now, buggalow,

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Speaker 1: hold on tight, We got it for you. Here. It

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Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter. Thank you, nephew. Subject she's taken

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Speaker 1: care of, but I'm not. Dear Stephen Shirley, My girlfriend

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Speaker 1: and I have been together for four years and we

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Speaker 1: had a normal relationship, having great sex on the regular

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Speaker 1: until two weeks ago. She started tripping about us having

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Speaker 1: sex and we're not married, but she lives with me,

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Speaker 1: which also goes against the Bible. We were conflicted about it,

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Speaker 1: but she moved in any way. After having sex with

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Speaker 1: her for four years straight, I am doing my best

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Speaker 1: to stop pressuring her for sex. That's hard to do

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Speaker 1: with her lying to me nude every night. I don't

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Speaker 1: understand how women will practice celibacy when it's convenient to

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Speaker 1: them and base it on religion, but will shack up

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Speaker 1: with a man to allow him to pay all of

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Speaker 1: her bills and the household expenses. When she moved into

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Speaker 1: my house, I took over as the man of the house,

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Speaker 1: and I never asked her for any financial help. If

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Speaker 1: I jokingly asked her to help out with a bill

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Speaker 1: or buy groceries, she would quote scripture about how man

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Speaker 1: is the provider. Well, I feel like I'm pretty much

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Speaker 1: in an arrangement at this point, and my payment for

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Speaker 1: taking care of everything and stepping up as a man

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Speaker 1: is sex. Since we've been quarantined together, she hasn't received

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Speaker 1: a paycheck, so she's been using my credit cards to

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Speaker 1: shop online. I love her and would never put her

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Speaker 1: out or break up with her because of how selfish

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Speaker 1: she is, but I need to know how to deal

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Speaker 1: with her. We're already acting like we're married, So why

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Speaker 1: is she cutting out sex. I can't go another day

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Speaker 1: without it? Please help? Wow, man, say I can't go

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Speaker 1: another I think you can go another day, But I

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Speaker 1: understand what you can't go another day? Yes, but you

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Speaker 1: know what your girlfriend in this sense, she can't have

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Speaker 1: it both ways. Okay, She's all the way in with

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Speaker 1: you for four years and then she suddenly cuts you off.

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Speaker 1: I mean people do change. I gotta tell you, people

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Speaker 1: do change. Um, it sounds like she's ready to start

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Speaker 1: something new. She said, you guys weren't married. Have you

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Speaker 1: thought that maybe she wants to stop just living with

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Speaker 1: you and having sex with you and and maybe make

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Speaker 1: it legit and become your wife. Maybe she wants you,

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Speaker 1: guys to get married. Um, you know something's going on

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Speaker 1: with her, but why only deal with part of the

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Speaker 1: Bible that's convenient for you. I mean, she cuts you off,

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Speaker 1: but still living with you and sleeping naked next to you.

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Speaker 1: All Right, you guys to have a major conversation about

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Speaker 1: what's going on here because none of this is making

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Speaker 1: sense unless, like I said, she is really trying to

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Speaker 1: get you to marry her or something. But don't be

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Speaker 1: surprised if she stopped sleeping with you all together and

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Speaker 1: you know, moves out. That may be what she's you know,

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Speaker 1: going to do if you don't take the hint to

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Speaker 1: to you know, to marry her. It sounds like that's

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Speaker 1: what she wants to do, and that's what she's angling towards.

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Speaker 1: I know, you know, you think sex will take care

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Speaker 1: of everything as far as you're concerned. But it sounds

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Speaker 1: like she wants that and a little more besides your

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Speaker 1: credit cards to shop online with Steve. Well, this letter

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Speaker 1: is ridiculous. It really is. On a lot of levels.

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Speaker 1: They've got to be young. This is these couple's got

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Speaker 1: to be in the twenties. Man, they have to be

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Speaker 1: I just don't see how this would make any sense

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Speaker 1: any other way because of the way that they both

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Speaker 1: have chosen to go about it. They've been together four years,

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Speaker 1: They've had a normal relationship, they got great sex on

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Speaker 1: the regular until two weeks ago. Now four years, something's

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Speaker 1: been going down a certain way, and then just two

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Speaker 1: weeks ago there's just changed. She started tripping about y'all

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Speaker 1: having sex and not being married, but she lives with me.

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Speaker 1: See yeah, I don't understand where this is coming from.

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Speaker 1: Not but then I do, I really do. You live

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Speaker 1: with the man, But now you're tripping because you're having

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Speaker 1: sex and y'all ain't married, but y'all living together. See

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Speaker 1: if if, if you're trying to say it's wrong to

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Speaker 1: have sex before you're married, and I understand you're saying that,

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Speaker 1: you also gotta understand that you're moving in without being

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Speaker 1: married would be wrong. Also, and then you would have

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Speaker 1: to come to terms that it is wrong of you

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Speaker 1: to sleep naked next to this boy every night. See,

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Speaker 1: it's a lot of wrongs on trying to get to

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Speaker 1: a right situation. Y'all just did it out of order,

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Speaker 1: that's all. And she says that she lives with you

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Speaker 1: and you all are not marriage, which goes against the Bible.

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Speaker 1: We were conflicted about it, but she moved in anyway.

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Speaker 1: Now after having sex for four years straight, I'm doing

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Speaker 1: my best to stop pursuing her for sex. But that's

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Speaker 1: hard to do with her line next to me nude

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Speaker 1: every night. Little girl, you're playing. This is an ugly

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Speaker 1: game you playing. Now, you know what you're doing. I

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Speaker 1: don't understand how women would practice celibacy when it's convenient

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Speaker 1: to them and base it on religion. But we shack up,

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Speaker 1: but shack up with a man, allow him to pay

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Speaker 1: all the bills in the household expenses. When she moved

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Speaker 1: into my house, I took on as a man of

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Speaker 1: the house, and I've never asked her for any financial health. See,

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Speaker 1: y'all doing a lot of little things that's wrong, y'all. Y'all,

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Speaker 1: y'all playing a game without without without setting rules for

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Speaker 1: the game. Y'all playing now, when she moved in, you

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Speaker 1: took on the role as the man of the house,

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Speaker 1: and you don't askut of help with none of the bills.

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Speaker 1: It must be your house that she moved into. I

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Speaker 1: don't know how that works, and she's allowing you to

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Speaker 1: do that. I don't I'm confused. Maybe I need to

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Speaker 1: go and break on this commercial break and think about

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Speaker 1: this because I'm I'm confused. Yeah, but I bet I

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Speaker 1: won't be when I come back think about it. We'll

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Speaker 1: have part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour you heard him. He said

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Speaker 1: he's gonna have it together when we come back. Subject

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Speaker 1: she's taken care of, but I'm not. We'll get back

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Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Come on, let's recap this rather can using strawberry letter today.

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Speaker 1: She just in. He been with this woman for four years.

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Speaker 1: They lived together, They have great sex on a regular two.

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Speaker 1: About two weeks ago she started tripping about having sex

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Speaker 1: and not being married. But they lived together. Because that

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Speaker 1: goes against the Bible. If you're talking about what going

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Speaker 1: against the Bible, a whole lot of stuff y'all doing

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Speaker 1: is wrong. We were conflicted about it, but she moved

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Speaker 1: in any way, Now, after having sex with her for

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Speaker 1: four straight years, he kind of had a hard time

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Speaker 1: not pressing her for sex because she laying next to

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Speaker 1: him neked every night. Then he don't understand our women

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Speaker 1: practice celibacy when it's convenient for them and based it

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Speaker 1: on religion. But with shock up with a man allowed

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Speaker 1: him to pay all the bills in the household expensive

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Speaker 1: now here we go with a party? Didn't got me

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Speaker 1: a little bit confused when she moved into the house,

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Speaker 1: Young dude, say, I took over as a man of

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Speaker 1: the house, and I've never asked her for any financial health.

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Speaker 1: Then if you jokingly ask her for help with the

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Speaker 1: bill or by groceries, she would quote scripture about how

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Speaker 1: man is the provider. So I see what's happening here.

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Speaker 1: Here's why I was confused. Oh, y'all just pick out

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Speaker 1: sections of the Bible to live by it. Oh see,

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Speaker 1: I was confused, so I thought we was going by

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Speaker 1: the Bible in this letter. Then I found out we

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Speaker 1: was kind of picking out sections. Oh, y'all was conflicted

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Speaker 1: about living together, not being married, but you moved in

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Speaker 1: together anyway, and you have had great sex for four years.

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Speaker 1: She started tripping about having the sex because y'all not man,

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Speaker 1: So she cut the sex off, but she steaded climbing

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Speaker 1: in that bed, button neck it, laying next to you,

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Speaker 1: button neck it. You don't know how not to pursue

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Speaker 1: her for sex. And now she ain't helping out with

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Speaker 1: the bills or nothing, she said, because that's the man's responsibility.

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Speaker 1: According to the scripture, the man is the provider. Now

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Speaker 1: he say, well, I'm pretty much in an arrangement at

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Speaker 1: this point, and my payment for taking care of everything

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Speaker 1: and stepping up after them as a man is sex.

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Speaker 1: And see, son, what's she doing now? Is she using

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Speaker 1: this sex as a as a as a as a

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Speaker 1: pawn in the game to try to get what she won't,

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Speaker 1: which is marriage. So she didn't cut the sex off.

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Speaker 1: And since y'all have been quarantined together, she ain't received

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Speaker 1: a paycheck, so she's been using my credit cards to

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Speaker 1: shop online. But she ain't. We not having no sex.

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Speaker 1: Though I love her, would never put out a break

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Speaker 1: up with it because of how selfish she is. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's a good reason to break up with the person, though,

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Speaker 1: young dog, if she's selfish? Now, when does did her

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Speaker 1: selfishness have a cut off? Or do you know that

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Speaker 1: it has one? Or is it going to get worse?

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Speaker 1: Or is she gonna just remain the same. And the

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Speaker 1: harder you work, the more selfish she becomes. Marriage is

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Speaker 1: a partnership, Dog's nothing else but a partnership, and you've

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Speaker 1: got to act like partners And the moment you don't

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Speaker 1: act like partners, that's gonna be a split. But I

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Speaker 1: need to know how to deal with her. Okay, First

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Speaker 1: of all, you can't take my credit cards and just

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Speaker 1: buy I'm the only one working right now. We need

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Speaker 1: a budget and sence you the man of the house,

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Speaker 1: and you in charge of the finances. According to the

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Speaker 1: scripture that she read, I would take my credit cards

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Speaker 1: and form a budget with them, sence you the provider.

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Speaker 1: What does the Bible say about her? So? If the

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Speaker 1: Bible got rules for me, and I'm pretty sure it

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Speaker 1: had some for women. So and we're already acting like

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Speaker 1: we're married, So why is she cutting out sex? Well,

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Speaker 1: I hate to introduce you to this concept of young man,

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Speaker 1: because throw y'all go ahead. So why she cutting out sex.

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Speaker 1: We already acted like we're married. So why she cutting

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Speaker 1: out sex? Because when you're getting married, they can do

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Speaker 1: it whether they want to or not. If they don't

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Speaker 1: want to, they're not gonna do it. Now. You can

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Speaker 1: sit over that mad with your arms folded, cover up

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Speaker 1: under or just cross your your your nipples with the

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Speaker 1: arms outside the blanket toes pointing straight up in there.

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Speaker 1: You could be you can hear. You can have that

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Speaker 1: pose in the bed over there doing this here, yeah,

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Speaker 1: until you go to sleep. But you're gonna huf puff

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Speaker 1: your's to sleep party because if they don't want to

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Speaker 1: when they married, and they ain't even gotta explain nothing

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Speaker 1: to you when they're married. Gone, now stop. No, I'm tired.

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Speaker 1: I've been up all day with these kids. I'm tired.

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Speaker 1: I've been a cheerleading practice. So now, bro, if it's

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Speaker 1: this way now, why would it change after you getting married?

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Speaker 1: I'm curious. Y'all need to start over and do a reset.

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Speaker 1: Maybe she should go home back to a parenthouse for

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Speaker 1: a while. Maybe she should, and then y'all start and

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Speaker 1: do a reset. But if you don't get this thing

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Speaker 1: straighten out now, brother, this is gonna get worse and

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Speaker 1: worse because selfish people don't stop being selfish unless it's

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Speaker 1: bought to their attention. That's my response, hanging the dog,

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Speaker 1: hanging their dog, all right, Thank you, Steve. Post your

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Speaker 1: comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. And don't forget to check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming up at forty

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Speaker 1: six minutes after the hour, our girl from the Talk,

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Speaker 1: Cheryl Underwood. Right after this, you're listening to this Dave

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show