WEBVTT - Tommy Talk: MAKE TIME FOR YOUR BEST FRIENDS

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, guys, welcome to another Tommy Talk, and today's topic

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<v Speaker 1>is make time for your best friends. So this sounds

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<v Speaker 1>kind of simple in theory, right. You might be listening thinking, well, yeah, Dove,

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<v Speaker 1>of course I make time for my best friends. But

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<v Speaker 1>the truth is life happens where we get so overwhelmed

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<v Speaker 1>and so busy that it's not always easy to make

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<v Speaker 1>concrete plans with your best friends, especially if they don't

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<v Speaker 1>live in the same city or state as you. So

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<v Speaker 1>what got me thinking about this is my best friend Joey.

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<v Speaker 1>He's also my cousin. We grew up together, right, we've

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<v Speaker 1>been together for three decades now, and well, I guess god,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm forty this year, so this is the fourth decade technically,

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<v Speaker 1>because we've been best friends since birth and we grew

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<v Speaker 1>up together and literally have been a part of each

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<v Speaker 1>other's life from day one. And he lives in Toronto,

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<v Speaker 1>so he came to New York City to visit, and

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<v Speaker 1>we had an amazing four night, five day little trip

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<v Speaker 1>in the city and we made a point to both

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<v Speaker 1>make plans to be here in town together with things

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<v Speaker 1>to do. And yes, I went out and I had

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<v Speaker 1>to do some things for work and so did he.

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<v Speaker 1>He went out and did his own thing, and then

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<v Speaker 1>we would meet up and make a plan and hang out.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm leaving this past long weekend feeling so incredibly

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<v Speaker 1>fulfilled because we got to have these incredible heart to

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<v Speaker 1>heart conversations and just catch each other up to speed

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<v Speaker 1>with where we're at in our lives right now, where

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<v Speaker 1>we're at professionally, where we're at emotionally. We got to

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<v Speaker 1>reflect on being kids together and growing up together, and

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<v Speaker 1>being teenagers together and laugh at funny memories we had,

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<v Speaker 1>and you have really deep, meaningful conversations about tougher times

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<v Speaker 1>that we've gone through. And we just had such a

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<v Speaker 1>nice connection over the last few days. And we always

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<v Speaker 1>have that connection, We're always connected, but to be together

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<v Speaker 1>and have uninterrupted time together there is so incredibly meaningful,

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<v Speaker 1>and it really got us both thinking and having these AHAs, like, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>we love our work. We really do. Work is so important.

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<v Speaker 1>We all need it and we love it, and we

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<v Speaker 1>happen to be in careers that are both artistic and

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<v Speaker 1>in the business, so to speak. So it takes a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of time and we wouldn't have it any other way.

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<v Speaker 1>But at the same time, we don't want to be

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<v Speaker 1>defined only by our work. We want to have these

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<v Speaker 1>meaningful times to make memories and have fun with people

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<v Speaker 1>that we love and really live this one life because

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<v Speaker 1>it goes fast, it really does. And to come off

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<v Speaker 1>of a little weekend like that, I feel so full.

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<v Speaker 1>My cup is so full. And did I do a

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<v Speaker 1>little less work on Friday than I probably should have? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>I did because I wanted to hang out with my

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<v Speaker 1>best friend. And is the inclination to be like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I got to keep going, I got to keep working.

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<v Speaker 1>I got to keep doing it, of course, one hundred percent,

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<v Speaker 1>especially when you run your own show. But I stepped

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<v Speaker 1>away and it felt so incredible, and I realized, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what, I can step away because I put a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of work in and it's okay to step away

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<v Speaker 1>to make a meaningful day or memory or have some

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<v Speaker 1>fun with somebody who I don't get to see all

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<v Speaker 1>the time. It was such a freeing thing to realize that,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, work will be there, it will be okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not missing out on anything, I'm not doing a

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<v Speaker 1>bad job, I'm not being irresponsible. It's okay. I put

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<v Speaker 1>in the work. I can go make memories with my

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<v Speaker 1>best friend, and having this time together really reiterated to

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<v Speaker 1>me and really made me remember, God, we need to

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<v Speaker 1>make time for our best friends or our friends, or

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<v Speaker 1>just anyone that's meaningful to us. Because I got to

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<v Speaker 1>say things that have been on my mind and that

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<v Speaker 1>I've been thinking about to someone else, to my best

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<v Speaker 1>friend and get his perspective. And it doesn't always work

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<v Speaker 1>on a phone call or a FaceTime or maybe you

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<v Speaker 1>only have such a little time to connect when you

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<v Speaker 1>do have that face time. Our phone call, it really

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<v Speaker 1>like was a great time to having in person conversation

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<v Speaker 1>about anything we both wanted to get off our chests

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<v Speaker 1>going on in our lives. So it was truly an

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<v Speaker 1>amazing thing. And I get to do that all the

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<v Speaker 1>time with Geo, and I'm so lucky to do that

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<v Speaker 1>with my husband, but you also want to be able

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<v Speaker 1>to do it with like your best friend and someone

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<v Speaker 1>that's you know that that can give you another perspective.

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<v Speaker 1>It's so important, it's so so so meaningful. So that

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<v Speaker 1>was something that really made me want to hop on

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<v Speaker 1>this mic and just talk about I even was thinking

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<v Speaker 1>going to Vegas earlier this year for my fortieth and

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<v Speaker 1>seeing j Loo and Geo grabbed his best friend Kevin,

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<v Speaker 1>and I grabbed Joey, the guy I've been talking about,

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<v Speaker 1>my cousin and best friend, and we all went to

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<v Speaker 1>Vegas for a few days and we had the best

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<v Speaker 1>time ever. And I think about that trip all the

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<v Speaker 1>time because we were together and we don't always get

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<v Speaker 1>to be together. Kevin lives in La Joe's in Toronto,

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<v Speaker 1>Me and Gio are in New York, so to all

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<v Speaker 1>have that time together was so meaningful. And it's not

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<v Speaker 1>like we were in Vegas going to the clubs and

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<v Speaker 1>getting like turnt up, you know, like we weren't even

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<v Speaker 1>doing that. We were going nice dinners and going to

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<v Speaker 1>a cocktail bar after and having drinks and just talking

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<v Speaker 1>and catching up and yes, going to see Jennifer Lopezan

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<v Speaker 1>concert and going on stage with her. I will drop

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<v Speaker 1>that right there, Okay. And if you're like, what are

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<v Speaker 1>you talking about, that's in a different episode. Search Tommy

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<v Speaker 1>Talk j Lo. You'll know what I'm talking about. But

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<v Speaker 1>it was just about having these these moments together to

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<v Speaker 1>really bond and have that meaningful connection and meaningful time.

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<v Speaker 1>I think friendship is so incredibly important. I really, really,

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<v Speaker 1>really really do. I think quality friendship is so incredibly important.

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't know about you guys, but are there

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<v Speaker 1>people that have been in your lives for a really

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<v Speaker 1>long time. Maybe it's a cousin, maybe it's a high

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<v Speaker 1>school friend, maybe it's a college friend, maybe it's someone

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<v Speaker 1>you met ten years ago. Is there someone that you

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<v Speaker 1>just feel like home with, that you feel safe with,

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<v Speaker 1>that you feel like they've seen every iteration in every

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<v Speaker 1>stage of you, every phase that you've been in. They

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<v Speaker 1>know you like the back of their hand. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's a place never of judgment. You know you can

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<v Speaker 1>go to this person for anything at any given time

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<v Speaker 1>and really get a great piece of advice or an

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<v Speaker 1>inspiring boost of confidence that you need or anything. Really,

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<v Speaker 1>do you have somebody like that? Because I think it's

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<v Speaker 1>so so important to invest time in building a relationship

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<v Speaker 1>like that. And you don't have to have a million

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<v Speaker 1>people in your life like that. By the way, I

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<v Speaker 1>am not somebody that believes in quantity over quality. Quality

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<v Speaker 1>friendship matters, and that's something that you just you can't

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<v Speaker 1>put a price tag on. And you can work and

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<v Speaker 1>work and work and work and work your ass off

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<v Speaker 1>and be proud of the things you're accomplishing. It's all good.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's amazing. I love having goals and things

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<v Speaker 1>that I want to accomplish, and I have a very

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<v Speaker 1>very focused mind on what it is I want to

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<v Speaker 1>do in my career. But it can't be all that

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<v Speaker 1>there is to you. It really can't. I had so

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<v Speaker 1>much fun these last few days. So Joe and I

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<v Speaker 1>we want to go see a Broadway show. We went

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<v Speaker 1>out for dinners, we did walks, we watched horror movies

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<v Speaker 1>because we love horror so much. We ordered in great takeout.

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<v Speaker 1>We had amazing conversations. I mean, we just had such

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<v Speaker 1>a great time together bonding. So you know, this is

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<v Speaker 1>a place that I like to sometimes offer advice based

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<v Speaker 1>on things that I've gone through, or I like to

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<v Speaker 1>share insights into practices that I have, like my gratitude

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<v Speaker 1>practice that's really important to me I've talked about before.

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<v Speaker 1>But I also want this to be a place that

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<v Speaker 1>serves just as a reminder for things that are so

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<v Speaker 1>easy to forget or that we can kind of put

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<v Speaker 1>to the back burner or neglect, and that's neglecting the

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<v Speaker 1>people in our lives that mean something to us and

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<v Speaker 1>not making that plan to meet up on a vacation,

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<v Speaker 1>or to visit each other's cities, or to schedule that

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<v Speaker 1>FaceTime or phone call. Even in the meantime, like all

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<v Speaker 1>of that matters, you need to make time for your

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<v Speaker 1>best friends. You have to because with out our friends

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<v Speaker 1>in our lives, without the people that we can count on,

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<v Speaker 1>what is this all for. We want to share our lives, right,

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<v Speaker 1>we work hard, Let's share it with the people we

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<v Speaker 1>want to be sharing our lives with. I think it's so,

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<v Speaker 1>so so crucial. Best friends are not always easy to

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<v Speaker 1>come by. I think it's very rare and special to

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<v Speaker 1>have somebody in your life that you can truly trust

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent and that you know will always have

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<v Speaker 1>your back and you'll always have their back. But I'm

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<v Speaker 1>pretty confident everybody listening has at least one best friend,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's someone you want to hold on to. That's

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<v Speaker 1>the one you do want to make the time for

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred percent, you know. Joey, I think is going

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<v Speaker 1>to be going to the town that my family grew

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<v Speaker 1>up in, going down the shore this summer, and I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to get down there for at least two nights,

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<v Speaker 1>Like I at least want to be down there when

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<v Speaker 1>he's down there making memories. One because we grew up

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<v Speaker 1>every summer down with the Jersey Shore. Two he doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>get to go there a lot, so I know that

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<v Speaker 1>he will be in town. So I'm looking at my

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<v Speaker 1>calendar ahead of time, being like, Okay, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>take these two days. I will not schedule any interviews

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<v Speaker 1>or meetings or anything else related to work, because I

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<v Speaker 1>need to make sure to invest my time doing things

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<v Speaker 1>that also fill my cup outside of work. I think

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<v Speaker 1>having that reminder, having that forefront to be like, okay, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I gotta do this for me is so important. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's basically what I wanted this episode to be. And

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<v Speaker 1>I have to be really honest. I am kind of emotional,

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<v Speaker 1>kind of a not overly emotional. That's the wrong word.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the wrong word. I'm sentimental and nostalgic. That's what

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna say. I'm very sentimental. I reflect a lot

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<v Speaker 1>on meaningful memories or times in my life, and I

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<v Speaker 1>get nostalgic about them. I really do. And when Joey

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<v Speaker 1>left my apartment, I was like, oh my god, Like

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<v Speaker 1>I was going in my study and his stuff wasn't there,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, oh my God, like, I'm so sad,

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<v Speaker 1>And did I walk into this room like ten times? Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>I did, being sad that he's no longer here one

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<v Speaker 1>hundred percent. But I also smiling when I say this,

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<v Speaker 1>because it makes me realize how important that time together

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<v Speaker 1>was and how much I needed that time together, how

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<v Speaker 1>much I really really needed that time even with work.

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<v Speaker 1>There's some stuff going on that's been stressing me out

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit, and I just needed to have a

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<v Speaker 1>heart to heart with somebody who truly gets this world

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<v Speaker 1>that I'm living in right. And what I love too

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<v Speaker 1>is Geo and him are like best friends too, And

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<v Speaker 1>obviously they've now known each other for eleven almost twelve years,

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<v Speaker 1>and they have the most beautiful friendship in the world,

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<v Speaker 1>and it makes me so happy. So the three of

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<v Speaker 1>us can bond and talk and just have this beautiful connection.

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<v Speaker 1>So anyway, I'm rambling now, but I really wanted today's

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<v Speaker 1>tom We Talk to serve as a reminder to make

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<v Speaker 1>time for your best friends. I know we're all busy.

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<v Speaker 1>I know a lot of you are parents. I know

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of you are balancing a bunch of different jobs,

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<v Speaker 1>personal things. I get it. I get it, trust me.

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<v Speaker 1>But let me remind you that when you get to

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<v Speaker 1>spend that time with your best friends, you just feel refueled,

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<v Speaker 1>refreshed and ready to take on the world. So here's

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<v Speaker 1>to make in the time for the people in our

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<v Speaker 1>lives that really really make us feel like our full selves.

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<v Speaker 1>Shout out to all the best friends out there, We

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<v Speaker 1>love you. I've Never Said This Before is hosted by

0:11:18.360 --> 0:11:23.040
<v Speaker 1>Me Tommy Dedario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew

0:11:23.080 --> 0:11:26.920
<v Speaker 1>Piglisi at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by

0:11:27.000 --> 0:11:30.640
<v Speaker 1>Joshua Colaudney. I've Never Said This Before is part of

0:11:30.679 --> 0:11:34.680
<v Speaker 1>the Elvis Duran podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more,

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<v Speaker 1>rate review and subscribe to our show and if you

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<v Speaker 1>liked this episode, tell your friends. Until next time, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>Tommy Dedario.