Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to another Tommy Talk, and today's topic
Speaker 1: is make time for your best friends. So this sounds
Speaker 1: kind of simple in theory, right. You might be listening thinking, well, yeah, Dove,
Speaker 1: of course I make time for my best friends. But
Speaker 1: the truth is life happens where we get so overwhelmed
Speaker 1: and so busy that it's not always easy to make
Speaker 1: concrete plans with your best friends, especially if they don't
Speaker 1: live in the same city or state as you. So
Speaker 1: what got me thinking about this is my best friend Joey.
Speaker 1: He's also my cousin. We grew up together, right, we've
Speaker 1: been together for three decades now, and well, I guess god,
Speaker 1: I'm forty this year, so this is the fourth decade technically,
Speaker 1: because we've been best friends since birth and we grew
Speaker 1: up together and literally have been a part of each
Speaker 1: other's life from day one. And he lives in Toronto,
Speaker 1: so he came to New York City to visit, and
Speaker 1: we had an amazing four night, five day little trip
Speaker 1: in the city and we made a point to both
Speaker 1: make plans to be here in town together with things
Speaker 1: to do. And yes, I went out and I had
Speaker 1: to do some things for work and so did he.
Speaker 1: He went out and did his own thing, and then
Speaker 1: we would meet up and make a plan and hang out.
Speaker 1: And I'm leaving this past long weekend feeling so incredibly
Speaker 1: fulfilled because we got to have these incredible heart to
Speaker 1: heart conversations and just catch each other up to speed
Speaker 1: with where we're at in our lives right now, where
Speaker 1: we're at professionally, where we're at emotionally. We got to
Speaker 1: reflect on being kids together and growing up together, and
Speaker 1: being teenagers together and laugh at funny memories we had,
Speaker 1: and you have really deep, meaningful conversations about tougher times
Speaker 1: that we've gone through. And we just had such a
Speaker 1: nice connection over the last few days. And we always
Speaker 1: have that connection, We're always connected, but to be together
Speaker 1: and have uninterrupted time together there is so incredibly meaningful,
Speaker 1: and it really got us both thinking and having these AHAs, like, yes,
Speaker 1: we love our work. We really do. Work is so important.
Speaker 1: We all need it and we love it, and we
Speaker 1: happen to be in careers that are both artistic and
Speaker 1: in the business, so to speak. So it takes a
Speaker 1: lot of time and we wouldn't have it any other way.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, we don't want to be
Speaker 1: defined only by our work. We want to have these
Speaker 1: meaningful times to make memories and have fun with people
Speaker 1: that we love and really live this one life because
Speaker 1: it goes fast, it really does. And to come off
Speaker 1: of a little weekend like that, I feel so full.
Speaker 1: My cup is so full. And did I do a
Speaker 1: little less work on Friday than I probably should have? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I did because I wanted to hang out with my
Speaker 1: best friend. And is the inclination to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I got to keep going, I got to keep working.
Speaker 1: I got to keep doing it, of course, one hundred percent,
Speaker 1: especially when you run your own show. But I stepped
Speaker 1: away and it felt so incredible, and I realized, you
Speaker 1: know what, I can step away because I put a
Speaker 1: lot of work in and it's okay to step away
Speaker 1: to make a meaningful day or memory or have some
Speaker 1: fun with somebody who I don't get to see all
Speaker 1: the time. It was such a freeing thing to realize that,
Speaker 1: you know what, work will be there, it will be okay.
Speaker 1: I'm not missing out on anything, I'm not doing a
Speaker 1: bad job, I'm not being irresponsible. It's okay. I put
Speaker 1: in the work. I can go make memories with my
Speaker 1: best friend, and having this time together really reiterated to
Speaker 1: me and really made me remember, God, we need to
Speaker 1: make time for our best friends or our friends, or
Speaker 1: just anyone that's meaningful to us. Because I got to
Speaker 1: say things that have been on my mind and that
Speaker 1: I've been thinking about to someone else, to my best
Speaker 1: friend and get his perspective. And it doesn't always work
Speaker 1: on a phone call or a FaceTime or maybe you
Speaker 1: only have such a little time to connect when you
Speaker 1: do have that face time. Our phone call, it really
Speaker 1: like was a great time to having in person conversation
Speaker 1: about anything we both wanted to get off our chests
Speaker 1: going on in our lives. So it was truly an
Speaker 1: amazing thing. And I get to do that all the
Speaker 1: time with Geo, and I'm so lucky to do that
Speaker 1: with my husband, but you also want to be able
Speaker 1: to do it with like your best friend and someone
Speaker 1: that's you know that that can give you another perspective.
Speaker 1: It's so important, it's so so so meaningful. So that
Speaker 1: was something that really made me want to hop on
Speaker 1: this mic and just talk about I even was thinking
Speaker 1: going to Vegas earlier this year for my fortieth and
Speaker 1: seeing j Loo and Geo grabbed his best friend Kevin,
Speaker 1: and I grabbed Joey, the guy I've been talking about,
Speaker 1: my cousin and best friend, and we all went to
Speaker 1: Vegas for a few days and we had the best
Speaker 1: time ever. And I think about that trip all the
Speaker 1: time because we were together and we don't always get
Speaker 1: to be together. Kevin lives in La Joe's in Toronto,
Speaker 1: Me and Gio are in New York, so to all
Speaker 1: have that time together was so meaningful. And it's not
Speaker 1: like we were in Vegas going to the clubs and
Speaker 1: getting like turnt up, you know, like we weren't even
Speaker 1: doing that. We were going nice dinners and going to
Speaker 1: a cocktail bar after and having drinks and just talking
Speaker 1: and catching up and yes, going to see Jennifer Lopezan
Speaker 1: concert and going on stage with her. I will drop
Speaker 1: that right there, Okay. And if you're like, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about, that's in a different episode. Search Tommy
Speaker 1: Talk j Lo. You'll know what I'm talking about. But
Speaker 1: it was just about having these these moments together to
Speaker 1: really bond and have that meaningful connection and meaningful time.
Speaker 1: I think friendship is so incredibly important. I really, really,
Speaker 1: really really do. I think quality friendship is so incredibly important.
Speaker 1: And I don't know about you guys, but are there
Speaker 1: people that have been in your lives for a really
Speaker 1: long time. Maybe it's a cousin, maybe it's a high
Speaker 1: school friend, maybe it's a college friend, maybe it's someone
Speaker 1: you met ten years ago. Is there someone that you
Speaker 1: just feel like home with, that you feel safe with,
Speaker 1: that you feel like they've seen every iteration in every
Speaker 1: stage of you, every phase that you've been in. They
Speaker 1: know you like the back of their hand. You know,
Speaker 1: it's a place never of judgment. You know you can
Speaker 1: go to this person for anything at any given time
Speaker 1: and really get a great piece of advice or an
Speaker 1: inspiring boost of confidence that you need or anything. Really,
Speaker 1: do you have somebody like that? Because I think it's
Speaker 1: so so important to invest time in building a relationship
Speaker 1: like that. And you don't have to have a million
Speaker 1: people in your life like that. By the way, I
Speaker 1: am not somebody that believes in quantity over quality. Quality
Speaker 1: friendship matters, and that's something that you just you can't
Speaker 1: put a price tag on. And you can work and
Speaker 1: work and work and work and work your ass off
Speaker 1: and be proud of the things you're accomplishing. It's all good.
Speaker 1: I think that's amazing. I love having goals and things
Speaker 1: that I want to accomplish, and I have a very
Speaker 1: very focused mind on what it is I want to
Speaker 1: do in my career. But it can't be all that
Speaker 1: there is to you. It really can't. I had so
Speaker 1: much fun these last few days. So Joe and I
Speaker 1: we want to go see a Broadway show. We went
Speaker 1: out for dinners, we did walks, we watched horror movies
Speaker 1: because we love horror so much. We ordered in great takeout.
Speaker 1: We had amazing conversations. I mean, we just had such
Speaker 1: a great time together bonding. So you know, this is
Speaker 1: a place that I like to sometimes offer advice based
Speaker 1: on things that I've gone through, or I like to
Speaker 1: share insights into practices that I have, like my gratitude
Speaker 1: practice that's really important to me I've talked about before.
Speaker 1: But I also want this to be a place that
Speaker 1: serves just as a reminder for things that are so
Speaker 1: easy to forget or that we can kind of put
Speaker 1: to the back burner or neglect, and that's neglecting the
Speaker 1: people in our lives that mean something to us and
Speaker 1: not making that plan to meet up on a vacation,
Speaker 1: or to visit each other's cities, or to schedule that
Speaker 1: FaceTime or phone call. Even in the meantime, like all
Speaker 1: of that matters, you need to make time for your
Speaker 1: best friends. You have to because with out our friends
Speaker 1: in our lives, without the people that we can count on,
Speaker 1: what is this all for. We want to share our lives, right,
Speaker 1: we work hard, Let's share it with the people we
Speaker 1: want to be sharing our lives with. I think it's so,
Speaker 1: so so crucial. Best friends are not always easy to
Speaker 1: come by. I think it's very rare and special to
Speaker 1: have somebody in your life that you can truly trust
Speaker 1: one hundred percent and that you know will always have
Speaker 1: your back and you'll always have their back. But I'm
Speaker 1: pretty confident everybody listening has at least one best friend,
Speaker 1: and that's someone you want to hold on to. That's
Speaker 1: the one you do want to make the time for
Speaker 1: one hundred percent, you know. Joey, I think is going
Speaker 1: to be going to the town that my family grew
Speaker 1: up in, going down the shore this summer, and I'm
Speaker 1: going to get down there for at least two nights,
Speaker 1: Like I at least want to be down there when
Speaker 1: he's down there making memories. One because we grew up
Speaker 1: every summer down with the Jersey Shore. Two he doesn't
Speaker 1: get to go there a lot, so I know that
Speaker 1: he will be in town. So I'm looking at my
Speaker 1: calendar ahead of time, being like, Okay, I'm going to
Speaker 1: take these two days. I will not schedule any interviews
Speaker 1: or meetings or anything else related to work, because I
Speaker 1: need to make sure to invest my time doing things
Speaker 1: that also fill my cup outside of work. I think
Speaker 1: having that reminder, having that forefront to be like, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I gotta do this for me is so important. And
Speaker 1: that's basically what I wanted this episode to be. And
Speaker 1: I have to be really honest. I am kind of emotional,
Speaker 1: kind of a not overly emotional. That's the wrong word.
Speaker 1: That's the wrong word. I'm sentimental and nostalgic. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say. I'm very sentimental. I reflect a lot
Speaker 1: on meaningful memories or times in my life, and I
Speaker 1: get nostalgic about them. I really do. And when Joey
Speaker 1: left my apartment, I was like, oh my god, Like
Speaker 1: I was going in my study and his stuff wasn't there,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my God, like, I'm so sad,
Speaker 1: And did I walk into this room like ten times? Yes,
Speaker 1: I did, being sad that he's no longer here one
Speaker 1: hundred percent. But I also smiling when I say this,
Speaker 1: because it makes me realize how important that time together
Speaker 1: was and how much I needed that time together, how
Speaker 1: much I really really needed that time even with work.
Speaker 1: There's some stuff going on that's been stressing me out
Speaker 1: a little bit, and I just needed to have a
Speaker 1: heart to heart with somebody who truly gets this world
Speaker 1: that I'm living in right. And what I love too
Speaker 1: is Geo and him are like best friends too, And
Speaker 1: obviously they've now known each other for eleven almost twelve years,
Speaker 1: and they have the most beautiful friendship in the world,
Speaker 1: and it makes me so happy. So the three of
Speaker 1: us can bond and talk and just have this beautiful connection.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm rambling now, but I really wanted today's
Speaker 1: tom We Talk to serve as a reminder to make
Speaker 1: time for your best friends. I know we're all busy.
Speaker 1: I know a lot of you are parents. I know
Speaker 1: a lot of you are balancing a bunch of different jobs,
Speaker 1: personal things. I get it. I get it, trust me.
Speaker 1: But let me remind you that when you get to
Speaker 1: spend that time with your best friends, you just feel refueled,
Speaker 1: refreshed and ready to take on the world. So here's
Speaker 1: to make in the time for the people in our
Speaker 1: lives that really really make us feel like our full selves.
Speaker 1: Shout out to all the best friends out there, We
Speaker 1: love you. I've Never Said This Before is hosted by
Speaker 1: Me Tommy Dedario. This podcast is executive produced by Andrew
Speaker 1: Piglisi at iHeartRadio and by Me Tommy, with editing by
Speaker 1: Joshua Colaudney. I've Never Said This Before is part of
Speaker 1: the Elvis Duran podcast network on iHeart Podcasts. For more,
Speaker 1: rate review and subscribe to our show and if you
Speaker 1: liked this episode, tell your friends. Until next time, I'm
Speaker 1: Tommy Dedario.