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Speaker 1: Karen thought I was a teen mom, so she called

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Speaker 1: me a slute. But jokes on her. I call the police.

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Speaker 2: That's Rice getting the boys in blue on your age.

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Speaker 1: Hey, and they're gonna make you black and blue beat

5
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Speaker 1: you up. That's right, you ass. Put it into the grass,

6
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Speaker 1: bury it into the fly fast. You're gonna die so

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Speaker 1: fast you're.

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Speaker 3: Gonna have all those regrets. Oh hey, Karen, what the

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Speaker 3: fuck are you wearing? Why the fuck you always staring?

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Speaker 3: I hate you and you call me a slute? Well, hey,

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Speaker 3: bitch you, Karen, you can taste my boot. I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: have to stop your head right into the earth. Then

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Speaker 3: I'll put you in a hearse. You don't want another verse,

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Speaker 3: let me put it in a verse. Over your head

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Speaker 3: toil you're dead in the ground, pounds your grave to

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Speaker 3: the dirt.

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Speaker 2: Much is worse? There we go. That was fucking fire.

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Speaker 2: We're getting there.

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Speaker 1: It's all wet now, all right, Wow, this is really yeah,

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Speaker 1: it s on it now slavin slovin. Wow, Okay, here

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Speaker 1: we go. There's about a ten and a half year

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Speaker 1: age gap between me and my little sister. When I

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Speaker 1: was a teen, I often used to take her to

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Speaker 1: the local park to get my break, to give her

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Speaker 1: some time to do some housework, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: Et cetera.

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Speaker 1: Mama deserves a breaking and all sit down with a

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Speaker 1: bottle of wine, a little bubble bath action. You know

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Speaker 1: how it is?

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Speaker 4: You know what it is?

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Speaker 1: You don't you know all the moms can do.

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Speaker 2: Let the mommy milkers out.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, fire off for that bubble butt that bomb.

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Speaker 1: You know your mom got that booty swiggetty swooty.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 1: At the time this story happened, I was fifteen. It

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Speaker 1: was Wimbledon season. I have no idea what that means.

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Speaker 1: All right, it was Wimbledon season. Let me drink my

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Speaker 1: spot of tea. Me all our UK fans are gonna

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Speaker 1: getta get that. I have UK friends, you know. And uh,

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Speaker 1: and I'm American, so are I one wanted? One time

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Speaker 1: America was England. We're like fuck that.

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Speaker 2: So basically you're just hating on yourself idiots.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Tommy, America is like the cooler, cooler brother of

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Speaker 1: the UK.

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Speaker 2: The UK is Carlton and we're will Will Smith. That's

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Speaker 2: a very active description. Yeah, it is, it is, it is.

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Speaker 2: You got it? Spot on on, yeah on, good good cheer. Goodmorrow,

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Speaker 2: Hello Govnor how's the queen? Chips and chips? Isn't it

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Speaker 2: you want to go see the footy? I don't even

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Speaker 2: know if the football football football you want to see?

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Speaker 2: He is maybe Australian.

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Speaker 1: Do you see the football.

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Speaker 2: Football? You want to eat some some briskit? I put

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Speaker 2: it in my my misarranged teeth.

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Speaker 1: Have you seen have you seen the Queen lately?

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Speaker 2: I did, and she was looking quite fine. Let's just

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Speaker 2: say those.

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Speaker 1: Cheeks clapped and the little queen royally clapped, royally clapped

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Speaker 1: by a good chopping. Anyway, it was Wimbledon season, whatever

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Speaker 1: the fuck that means, so my mom asked me to

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Speaker 1: take my sister to the park for a few hours

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Speaker 1: so she could watch it in peace. I'm assuming Wimbledon

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Speaker 1: is the good old football or soccer s s Yanks

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Speaker 1: call it that, or maybe it's the the yeah or

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Speaker 1: or or is it tennis with Wimbledon?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tennis and.

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Speaker 1: Tennis. Sorry sorry, England swimbled in season. More like, when

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Speaker 1: will you be done fucking watching that dumb sport? When

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Speaker 1: will you see these nuts?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

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Speaker 2: No, that's it?

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well we're gonna get to some classic English. She

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Speaker 1: gave me some money so we could get some fish

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Speaker 1: and chips down and some ice cream at the park.

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Speaker 1: There was usually an ice cream van there, so we

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Speaker 1: got some fish and chips, fish and chips, went to

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Speaker 1: the beach for a bit to buy me mom extra time,

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Speaker 1: and then we headed to the park. As we approached

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Speaker 1: the park gate, this entitled mother who was dragging along

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Speaker 1: her dumb ass child, glared at me, entitled bomb, you

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Speaker 1: should be a shinened of you yourself? Your damn freaking yeah,

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Speaker 1: your little sassy. I wanted to use an English word

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Speaker 1: that they could use more often in England and Australia, Right,

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Speaker 1: but it's not used very often in America.

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Speaker 2: You know you know what I'm thinking of?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, ye, but I'm not. But you know everyone

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Speaker 1: knows go punch of football.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I looked around, but there was nobody else she could

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Speaker 1: have been talking to. Dumbfounded, I blankly pointed to myself,

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Speaker 1: me as up to affirm she was talking to me.

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Speaker 1: Girls these days are such shrewd opening their legs to

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Speaker 1: anyone who asks who knocked up? By well, I mean

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Speaker 1: guess you don't freaking know, your little duty slip monkey,

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Speaker 1: I stared blankly at her for a minute. Me, uh,

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Speaker 1: this is my ill sister. Titled mother rolled her eyes

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Speaker 1: and led at me. Yeah, we had little sisters in

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Speaker 1: my day too. I love how like like she's getting

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Speaker 1: more like old sailor n Yeah. I just said uh,

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Speaker 1: okay bye and walked away because I was uncomfortable with

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Speaker 1: conflict and just wanted to get out of the situation,

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Speaker 1: and titled mother, don't you dare go into the park

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Speaker 1: and spread your filthy diseases all over that slip and slide.

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Speaker 1: I didn't want my son catching any of these diseases

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Speaker 1: that you're carrying, and that wizard sleeve you got between

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Speaker 1: your legs. I ignored her and rushed into the park.

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Speaker 1: Surely she'd leave me alone. When I was surrounded by

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Speaker 1: other kids and parents. Right wrong and titled mother followed

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Speaker 1: me around the park, demanding.

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Speaker 2: That I leave.

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Speaker 1: The more I ignored her, the matter she got. She

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Speaker 1: kept repeating over and over, you're not allowed here. Wow.

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Speaker 1: At this point a few parents noticed one mom. Let's

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Speaker 1: call her f mum for friend mum. Yeah, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: want to f your mom as a friend though. As

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Speaker 1: a friend, Yeah yeah, it's just a prank, broprank who

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Speaker 1: my mom and I often chatted with, immediately stood up

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Speaker 1: and rushed over, just as entitled mother grabbed my arm

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Speaker 1: and yanked at me. Friend Mom, why who are you

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Speaker 1: grabbing a child? Let her go? Who are you, entitled mother?

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Speaker 1: My dear freaking business friend Mom, Let her go, I'm

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Speaker 1: calling the police. Entitled mother let her go, but turned

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Speaker 1: her anger towards friend Mom, shouting that she was just

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Speaker 1: making the park safe for her child, and I shouldn't

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Speaker 1: be here because I might spread some nasty little diseases

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Speaker 1: all over the place. She never specified what disease. I'm

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Speaker 1: just guessing she meant an STI or something. More parents

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Speaker 1: started coming over to see what's going on. Seeing she

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Speaker 1: was outnumbered, Entitled mother eventually left, dragging her child behind her,

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Speaker 1: screaming obscenities at us as she slinked away, like royal football,

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Speaker 1: fish and chip whatever. English obscenities are your bloody fool,

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Speaker 1: you you dastily custard you royal chip?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you polished ted, Yeah, you unpushed impossibly pokily

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Speaker 4: poopy head.

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Speaker 2: Ooh you are a royal poopy head.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: Friend Mom gave us a lyft home to make sure

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Speaker 1: we were safe. When I told my mom what happened,

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Speaker 1: she was furious. She packed us into the car and

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Speaker 1: drove us around town to look for the woman, but

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Speaker 1: we didn't spot her, and thankfully I never saw the

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Speaker 1: woman again. The audacity. The audacity, dude, like like who

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Speaker 1: I go? Like, there's so many assumptions that you have

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Speaker 1: to make to go from Like I see this girl.

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Speaker 1: It's not even like the girl is pregnant. She just

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Speaker 1: like see this girl with a younger girl. And it

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Speaker 1: was like, I've seen this one before. And you know,

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Speaker 1: it's one thing to make the assumption. It's another to

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Speaker 1: follow her and harass her to get out of the park,

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Speaker 1: to not spread her diseases, Like like I'm like, bro,

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Speaker 1: you know how does those diseases spread?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 1: So, like, as long as your son it's fucking opie,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna be fine. Nah.

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Speaker 3: She she also also you know what you know? And

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Speaker 3: I would I would have been like, so she was

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Speaker 3: like grabbing her or whatever, I'd be like, well, yeah, you.

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Speaker 2: Know, it's it's too bad.

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Speaker 1: I just spread my disease to you know, you just

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Speaker 1: got herpes, super herpes. You're welcome my gift to you.

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Speaker 3: I'm definitely doing If that ever happens to me, I'm

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Speaker 3: definitely doing that. What given giving them a super herbes,

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Speaker 3: giving Karen super herpes, give all Karen super hurries for

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Speaker 3: the culture. Okayop, this is Okayop, I'm saying, ol daughter,

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Speaker 3: and I'm John.

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Speaker 1: Fry, and today we're telling the scariest stories from Reddit.

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Speaker 1: Woo and John this is don't look outside on Christmas Eve,

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Speaker 1: but I love looking outside on Christmas Eve. Actually there's

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Speaker 1: no I was gonna say there's snow, but there's no snows.

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Speaker 2: There's no snow. There's no snow outside on Christmas Eve

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Speaker 2: because we're in Los Angeles.

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Speaker 1: That's why you should look outside, folks, trick. We're ruined

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Speaker 1: the beauty of Christmas. That's right.

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Speaker 2: My hands are trembling as I write this because it's cold.

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Speaker 2: Come on, br because you're scared old.

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Speaker 1: I'm hiding in my towel closet. I called the cops,

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Speaker 1: but I don't think they'll be here in time. I mean,

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Speaker 1: who takes calls and chriss eve and who has a

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Speaker 1: towel towel closa you Richie, rich bro. They probably think

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Speaker 1: I'm some teenager prank calling them since I have nothing

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Speaker 1: better to do than take away from someone's time on Christmas?

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Speaker 1: Who believe what I have to say? Anyway, what do

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Speaker 1: you got to say?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll see.

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Speaker 1: Let me back things up and set the scene for you.

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Speaker 1: I live alone, two states away from my family. I

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Speaker 1: feel terrible for not being able to visit them this year.

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Speaker 1: I've been having financial struggles as of recent. Paying off

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Speaker 1: student loans is no joke. This is the first time

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Speaker 1: I've been able to live on my own. I'm renting

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Speaker 1: a cabin in the middle of bum f nowhere with Godson.

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Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing.

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Speaker 3: If you buy you buy a cabin in the middle

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Speaker 3: of the nower, you're asking for horror to Yeah, you're.

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Speaker 1: Asking for spooky, spooky Christmas eves. All that's around is

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Speaker 1: a convenience store and a bar. So you either getting

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Speaker 1: drunk or you're eating twinkies seeh or both or both,

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Speaker 1: preferably both. Yeah, the place is nice and the rent

200
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Speaker 1: is cheap, so who am I to complain? One bed,

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Speaker 1: one bath in a cramp kitchen that's right behind the living.

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Speaker 2: Room would be kind of nice to live in a cabin, yeah, honest, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I mean if it's warm. I got a fireplace. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh, the living room has a nice fireplace too. It

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Speaker 1: keeps the house warm all through the night. So now

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Speaker 1: you've got the picture. I need to share my experience,

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Speaker 1: no matter how few people see it. I didn't have

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Speaker 1: big plans for the holidays. Stay at home, watch TV,

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Speaker 1: and eat some frozen pizza if I was lucky. That's sad,

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Speaker 1: I know, bro oh Fie, you gotta you gotta get

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Speaker 1: it more festive. At least at least make a Christmas

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Speaker 1: tree or some some hams. I don't know, mashed potatoes,

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Speaker 1: No big fancy desert, no big fancy dinner, no visitors,

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Speaker 1: Just an average night. That's just what happened. I came

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Speaker 1: back on the couch with pizza in hand and watch

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Speaker 1: Christmas movies until my eyes grew heavy. But then I

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Speaker 1: was awakened by a knock at the door at around

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Speaker 1: love and forty five knocks.

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Speaker 2: At a door loan forty five.

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Speaker 1: A cabin in the woods. He was knocking. You're in

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Speaker 1: the middle of nowhere. It's dark and snow be out,

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Speaker 1: per usual this time of year. I don't get visitors, ope,

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Speaker 1: he nor could I see who it was, So I

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Speaker 1: looked out the small window in the living room, frost

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Speaker 1: cloaked the glass, making it kind of hard to see

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Speaker 1: who was waiting for my answer. I could make out

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Speaker 1: a human like figure. My gut was telling me to

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Speaker 1: stay the hell away from what was at the door.

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Speaker 1: Before I even got a chance to move, the snow

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Speaker 1: was falling so heavily that it was hard to see

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Speaker 1: anything beyond six feet from my house. I trusted my

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Speaker 1: gut and moved to my room. So hope he's not

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Speaker 1: having any of that. He's not going towards that door.

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Speaker 3: For a second, I thought I was gonna say my

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Speaker 3: gut was telling me this, But yeah, road, trust your gun.

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Speaker 1: Your gun knows okay.

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Speaker 2: He followed his gut very good.

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Speaker 1: I began to think I was a bad person for

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Speaker 1: leaving whoever was out there in an icy mess. Just

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Speaker 1: as the thought entered my mind, the knocking grew louder.

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Speaker 1: I covered my ears in response to the noise beyond

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Speaker 1: my door. I faced away, but it only got worse.

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Speaker 1: Bang bang bang. I was right to trust my goat,

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Speaker 1: I was I always trust my goat. I No, really,

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Speaker 1: I was right to trust my guts. I shouldn't open

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Speaker 1: the door. I can't let this go on. I exhaled

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Speaker 1: deeply and threw my legs over the bed and reluctantly

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Speaker 1: shuffled over to my door. I twisted the knobed outside.

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Speaker 1: The cold weather nipped at my face. As a reply, hello,

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Speaker 1: I peered through the crack. Hi, the person started. I

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Speaker 1: began to make out facial features and realized it was

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Speaker 1: a young woman. Oh, oh, okay, I should redo that

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Speaker 1: high because it's a young woman. Yeah, so let's run

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Speaker 1: it back.

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Speaker 4: Hi.

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Speaker 1: Oh, very good, person started. I began to make out

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Speaker 1: facial characteristics and realized it was a young woman. My

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Speaker 1: car broke down and this seemed like a good place

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Speaker 1: to seek shelter.

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, you can seek shelter.

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Speaker 1: Ah, you warm, baby, get warm the night. That was

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Speaker 1: a red flag for me. There's a can in store

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Speaker 1: in a bar within a mile of each other. Why

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Speaker 1: show up to a random house for help? Now? I

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Speaker 1: consider myself a nice guy, but the holidays don't make

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Speaker 1: me a giving person. I don't like my sleep being interrupted. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I hear that. I wasn't sure how to respond, and

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Speaker 1: her behavior was off, to say the least. She was

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Speaker 1: glancing over her shoulder as if she could see anything

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Speaker 1: through the darkness and snow. I don't like that. I

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Speaker 1: can give you a number for a towing company. There

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Speaker 1: should be an inn at least a few miles from here.

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Speaker 1: The towing company can take you. She didn't seem satisfied.

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Speaker 1: Are you sure, she inquired. It's awfully cold out here,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know how long it will take them

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Speaker 1: to get here. She began to look more paranoid. Her

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Speaker 1: eyes darted from side to side, up and down. It's

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Speaker 1: really freaking me out. Listen, hun, my house is a

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Speaker 1: wreck and it's the middle of the night. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: I know it's the holidays, but I have a thing

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Speaker 1: about letting strangers into my house, which damn straight. Yeah, like,

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Speaker 1: have you seen the purge? Don't let anyone into your house.

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Speaker 2: Good for Opie putting his food down.

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Speaker 1: I immediately regard I read in saying those words. Her

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Speaker 1: fear turned to anger. At this point, she became hysterical.

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Speaker 1: She kicked, punched, and beat my door, trying to force

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Speaker 1: herself in. Her polite words were now screams, God, no,

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Speaker 1: thank you. The Jane Doe at my door pounded harder

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Speaker 1: and harder. Seemed like my door was about to break.

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Speaker 1: What the hell are you supposed to do in this situation? So,

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Speaker 1: in the spur of the moment, I just locked the door.

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Speaker 1: The knob rattled violently, then stopped abruptly. I picked up

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Speaker 1: my phone and alerted authorities that there was a maniac

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Speaker 1: woman outside my house. At this point, I figured she

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Speaker 1: had given up and left, so I sat down in

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Speaker 1: front of the TV and tried to enjoy the rest

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Speaker 1: of the night. I pondered why was she so upset?

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Speaker 1: No family trauma, None of the theories added up. Just

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Speaker 1: as my thinking concluded and I began to relax, I

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00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 1: heard a faint sound. The sound that was so quiet

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Speaker 1: but seemed so loud. It was the shuffling of outside

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Speaker 1: my window. I pulled my blinds back and peeked outside. Oh,

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00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,720
Speaker 1: the dim light from the street lamps shone onto my

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Speaker 1: white lawn. The woman was making a circle in the snow.

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Speaker 1: A circle. What kind of aliens are you to do?

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Speaker 2: Some crop circles? We gotta stop. Demons are being summoned

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Speaker 2: in my front on leave. This is not okay.

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Speaker 1: I squinted, trying not to reveal my presence. My eyes

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00:17:24,119 --> 00:17:26,719
Speaker 1: began to adjust to the darkness outside. It was now

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Speaker 1: one am. There were symbols I couldn't recognize in a

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Speaker 1: large pentagram in the center. This lady's summon in satan sleep.

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Speaker 1: Oh my God, in my.

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Speaker 2: Creepy ass cavin.

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Speaker 1: When she finished her artwork, she looked right at me.

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Speaker 1: She was staring into my soul. Her gaze sent her

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Speaker 1: gaze sent chills down my spine. Her mouth opened at

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Speaker 1: inhuman angles. Just then a scream was released. I fell

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Speaker 1: back into the couch.

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Speaker 2: What the f do I do?

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Speaker 1: I called the cops for a second time, writing this,

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Speaker 1: I'll be censoring my address for my own security. Here's

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Speaker 1: how the phone call went address. I need police, Please

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Speaker 1: come quick, sir. We already have the shariff and back

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Speaker 1: upon their way. They should be there within the hour.

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Speaker 1: Lock your doors. I heard a click on their other end. Well,

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Speaker 1: what am I supposed to do now?

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Speaker 4: What is it?

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Speaker 1: I hope he's supposed to do now? He called the blaze.

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Speaker 1: Just wait in fear for the frozen piece. Get the shotgun. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm alone in this house, which seems much more ominous

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Speaker 1: than the night before. There's some psycho ladies standing in

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Speaker 1: my yard in the middle of the night. To stop

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Speaker 1: it off, the cops that should be arresting this woman.

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Speaker 1: Are probably out for drinks because it's Christmas. I let

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Speaker 1: out an audible sigh and sat on the floor with

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Speaker 1: my back and sat on the floor with my back

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Speaker 1: to the couch. This was not what I thought was

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Speaker 1: an ideal quick this is not what I thought of

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Speaker 1: as an ideal Christmas, I'll say this is the doors.

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Speaker 1: I figured I might as well freshen up and get

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Speaker 1: ready for about any sliver of hope left in me

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00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:54,040
Speaker 1: was gone. I picked myself up off the floor and

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Speaker 1: made my way to the bathroom. I didn't want to

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Speaker 1: risk her seeing me, so I just used a dim

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Speaker 1: flashlight on my phone. I brushed my trince my face,

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Speaker 1: and I thought that would make me feel better and

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Speaker 1: more alert.

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Speaker 2: But I was wrong.

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Speaker 1: Once I had finished, I heard a knock at the door,

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Speaker 1: followed by a screen who It was deep, unlike the

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Speaker 1: shrieks previously heard from a girl. Something in me clicked.

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Speaker 1: I mustered the strength to peek outside. There were blue

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Speaker 1: and red lights flashing, signaling help had arrived, but something

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Speaker 1: was wrong. The lights from the car further illuminated my lawn,

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Speaker 1: and there were two mangled bodies left inside of Oh

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Speaker 1: my God, Oh my God.

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Speaker 2: There, let me try again.

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Speaker 1: There were two mangled bodies left inside of what I

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Speaker 1: can only describe as the altar. Oh my God. Remnants

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00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,920
Speaker 1: of the black uniforms informed me of who they were police.

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Speaker 1: Another guttural howl was worth Oh my God, only a

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Speaker 1: few feet away from my window. I did the only

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Speaker 1: thing I could think of and hide, and that brings

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Speaker 1: me to Now. I'm in my towel closet. There are

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Speaker 1: two dead bodies in the snow. Something outside my house.

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Speaker 1: Something not human. I don't know when she, or it,

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Speaker 1: or whatever the F you want to call it will

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00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: get inside. But my gut is saying that she will.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't have picked a worst spot to hide. I

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Speaker 1: feel like an idiot friend in a horror movie that

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Speaker 1: gets plucked off first. Please, if you're reading this, protect

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Speaker 1: yourself this holiday season. Don't let it know you're there.

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Speaker 1: Don't be like me. Please save yourself and your family.

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Speaker 1: I just heard something come down the chimney, and it's

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Speaker 1: not Santa. She's inside for the ending.

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Speaker 4: That ending.

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Speaker 1: It's not Saana Santa, This ain't Rudolph.

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Speaker 3: Three God, wow, God just made the whole story spooky, spooky, bro.

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00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:49,040
Speaker 3: So wait so wait, so so this this demon lady

380
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Speaker 3: just just took out to two cops.

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00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,479
Speaker 1: Took two cops. Demons, demons be schemings.

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Speaker 3: At that point, At that point you got to run out,

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00:20:56,760 --> 00:21:00,240
Speaker 3: like grab shotguns or whatever and just go for Yeah,

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Speaker 3: this is a demon that we're dealing.

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Speaker 1: Just go rambo on that. That that demon demon lady