WEBVTT - Joy 101: Robin Arzon 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:15.720 So today I have something on my mind because I've 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:20.439 been feeling that there's tons and tons of kindness that 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:23.400 I'm noticing. And you know what's weird about kindness. Once 0:00:23.440 --> 0:00:25.520 you notice it, you see it everywhere. It's one of 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.800 those things and you don't forget it. So this happened 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:30.840 to me a while ago, and it stuck with me, 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:33.199 and it's one of those stories that I think to 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:36.120 myself like it was a small thing, but it changed 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:38.839 how I viewed things. So I was coming into my 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:41.800 Upper West Side apartment one day and I it was 0:00:41.840 --> 0:00:43.360 like one of those long days, and I hopped in 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:45.920 the elevator and this girl hops in the elevator with me, 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:49.199 and she's wearing like an oscar the grouch hat like 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:52.280 pulled down with like two eyes on top, and she 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:54.320 was holding a box and kind of looking at the 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:58.160 ground and I go, oh, I go god, that smells good. 0:00:58.160 --> 0:00:58.840 I said, what is that? 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:03.720 And she goes, oh, their donuts there, they're salted caramel. 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:05.959 I was like, oh, my god, salted caramel. Like there's 0:01:06.000 --> 0:01:09.399 nothing better than salted caramel donuts. And I'm just making conversation. 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:12.160 She kind of keeps her head down mutters a couple 0:01:12.160 --> 0:01:14.000 of words and then hops out on her floor, and 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:16.759 then I hop out on my floor. So I forgot 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:19.839 about it, because you know, it was a ten second conversation. 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:24.200 So the next day I come back to my apartment 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:26.560 building and the door man says, oh, you have a box, 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:29.560 and I was like, oh, okay. And I see the 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:31.960 box and I recognize it. It's the same one that 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:34.679 the girl had. And there was a note attached and 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:37.560 it said, Hi, I was the one wearing the oscar 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:41.720 the grouch hat in the elevator. You are admiring the 0:01:41.760 --> 0:01:45.560 donuts the salted caramel, and the ones I had were 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:49.200 already spoken for. So I went to Brooklyn and bought 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:55.840 these for you. Okay, She went to Brooklyn and bought 0:01:56.120 --> 0:01:59.480 some salted caramel donuts for me, someone who she never met. 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:02.600 And I thought to myself, being on the receiving end 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:05.040 of an act of kindness and also one that someone's 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:08.960 not waiting to see your reaction to was amazing and 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.280 it changed me. My best friend's name is Karen Swinson, 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:15.720 and she I think she's part saint personally, but she 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:18.040 does things like that all the time. I remember we 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:21.760 were eating dinner together and she got up to go 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:24.120 to the restroom, and I watched her walk over to 0:02:24.120 --> 0:02:28.160 the waitress past a table full of it looked like 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:31.600 people who were in the arm services, and they were 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:34.480 wearing their uniforms. And she walked by, whispered something to 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:36.720 the waitress, and came back and sat down. 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:38.359 And then I. 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:41.519 See the waitress walk over to that table say something 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:44.960 to them. The guys look around and say thank you 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:48.720 and walk out smiling. And I said, did you did 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:49.840 you pay for that table? 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:53.640 And she said, I don't know. 0:02:54.040 --> 0:02:56.440 Like she'll never admit that she's done something like that 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:58.399 because she thinks if you say it, then it sort 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:00.240 of takes away the yabe. 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:00.600 Part of it. 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:02.760 So one of the things I started trying to do 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.680 with my kids was when we go out somewhere a 0:03:05.720 --> 0:03:09.960 diner or whatever, spot somebody at a table, or preferably 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:13.520 someone who's sitting alone, but spot somebody, and go to 0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:16.440 the waitress, pick up her tab, and don't say a word. 0:03:16.520 --> 0:03:18.120 And my kids were like, why can't we tell her? 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:22.080 It's like, because sometimes you do things just because, not 0:03:22.200 --> 0:03:24.160 because of what someone's going to say or what someone's 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:27.400 going to think, just because, So sometimes it's good to 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:30.639 do things just because. So that's what I'm going to 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:34.120 try to continue with my kids. Don't wait for the a, 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:37.000 don't wait for the ADA girl, the ADA boy, or wow, you. 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:39.520 Did that for us? Who cares? Do the thing? 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:43.880 Walk away and you'll someone will have the story like 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:47.800 I have about those salted caramel donuts. Someone's going to 0:03:47.880 --> 0:03:49.520 have that story that they're going to tell over and 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:52.200 over again because you did them a solid and didn't 0:03:52.240 --> 0:03:55.000 wait around to see what the thank you was. So 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:57.760 I think life is pretty cool when we. 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:02.160 Live that way. My guest today lives that way. 0:04:02.520 --> 0:04:06.760 Her name is Robin Arzon, and she is I know 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:08.360 her as a Peloton instructor. 0:04:08.720 --> 0:04:11.000 But let me tell you something that isn't. 0:04:10.760 --> 0:04:15.520 Even one one hundredth of what Robin does and what 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:19.640 Robin is about. Robin has led this life that is 0:04:19.680 --> 0:04:26.960 so fascinating, that is filled with determination and the kind 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:29.520 of person who doesn't quit, the kind of person who 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:32.800 sees joy around every corner. I mean, you're not gonna 0:04:32.800 --> 0:04:34.760 believe what I'm going to tell you right now, but 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:37.960 this is something that happened in Robin's life and changed it. 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:42.279 Robin was enjoying a night out with friends at a 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:45.719 wine bar, A guy with a gun walks in and 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:50.160 uses Robin as a human shield. Okay, she has this 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:55.640 guy with a gun holding her hostage. What follows from 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:58.240 that moment, which I mean she obviously survived, and it 0:04:58.279 --> 0:05:00.719 was a terrifying thing. And many people would have reverted 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:04.520 into themselves and had that would be their defining story 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:07.400 of their life. That's that's not Robin's defining story. That's 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:10.040 when her life changed. That's when she took a step 0:05:10.080 --> 0:05:14.680 outside of herself. That's when she made different choices. When 0:05:14.760 --> 0:05:17.920 you know your life has margins, you make different choices. 0:05:18.200 --> 0:05:20.400 You don't stay on the same old, tired path. You 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:24.640 say to yourself, wait, I have limited time here. What 0:05:24.680 --> 0:05:26.839 am I going to do with my time? Well, Robin 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:30.600 has taken that time and turned it into something magical. 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:34.320 I cannot wait for you to hear my conversation with 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:39.919 Robin ours on. First of all, can we just say, 0:05:40.040 --> 0:05:42.440 because the timing of this podcast. 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.720 Go New York, Go, New York Go. 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:51.240 Have you ever ever felt the electricity in this city 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:52.479 like you feel right now? 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:56.000 The collective effervescence? I mean, it's so appropriate to be, 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.800 you know, on a podcast that centers joy because you 0:05:58.880 --> 0:06:01.080 walk around the streets of New York and I don't 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:02.839 know what it's like to live in a small town 0:06:02.880 --> 0:06:05.000 in like Middle America, but I think if you put 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:08.280 a little bit of that kindness and that, you know, 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:10.640 I say that the city is we're giving each other 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:13.000 the benefit of the doubt. Oh, and I think that 0:06:13.000 --> 0:06:16.000 that's something that we've lost that again, Yeah, let's talk 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.960 about that, right. So it's like, you know, the person 0:06:19.000 --> 0:06:20.680 in front of you is rushing, like you give them 0:06:20.960 --> 0:06:22.960 the benefit of what They're probably trying to get home 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:25.200 to their kids, they have an important meeting. You hold 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:27.640 the elevator door a little bit longer, you you know, 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:30.640 And I think that that little bit of you know, 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:33.680 the city is steeped in friction, like that's just kind 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:35.400 of what we do. But I believe that like that 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:39.000 friction is needed for the expansion when we later on 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:44.159 collective efforescence and a little bit more belief in each other. Yeah, 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:46.359 it's like there's no more perfect place, you know. 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:49.400 When I moved to New York, I remembered thinking to myself, 0:06:49.520 --> 0:06:52.200 We're in a one mile swath of land, and in 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:56.960 this tiny mile sits people from every country, every background, 0:06:57.360 --> 0:06:58.680 every religion. 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:02.760 Every everything. To myself, if New York City can work, 0:07:03.680 --> 0:07:07.159 then the world can work. Absolutely everything can work. 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:13.600 And watching us now is beyond all of the things. 0:07:14.000 --> 0:07:14.320 I love. 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:17.640 Seeing a Wall Street dude in a Patagonia vest high 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:21.920 fiving a guy on a truck who's high fiving someone 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:24.560 who they would never have interaction with. 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:26.320 I mean, that's what joy is. 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:30.640 Absolutely all right, let's talk about you because I selected 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:34.320 you for this podcast for a reason. So I've watched you, 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:38.600 I've watched you on the peloton bike, I've listened to 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:42.200 you speak, and I thought to myself, this girl. At first, 0:07:42.280 --> 0:07:44.080 I said, this girl must have had this charmed life, 0:07:44.200 --> 0:07:47.080 nothing ever happened. She's so care free, and it's the 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:49.880 opposite of that. Actually, So I want to talk about 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:54.520 you as a little girl for starters. Tell me, did 0:07:54.560 --> 0:07:58.240 you come into the world optimistic? Did you come into 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:00.720 the world with belief that, yeah, I can do I. 0:08:00.640 --> 0:08:03.840 Can do things. I mean, my mom really modeled it. 0:08:03.920 --> 0:08:06.000 I think maybe it's partially genetic. We are a little 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:10.760 bit wired to see things through rose tinted glasses. My 0:08:10.840 --> 0:08:13.280 dad actually isn't like that at all. And then I 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:15.120 think I have a little bit of you know, his 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:22.520 sass and my mom's optimism. And I was deeply, deeply 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:24.960 shy as a kid, like I wanted to just be 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:28.240 as beige as possible and like blend into the wallpaper. 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:32.760 And it was my mom actually, you know they I 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:38.560 was in a montessory, uh, you know, preschool, and the instructor, 0:08:38.600 --> 0:08:41.720 the teacher came over to my mom after school one 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:44.360 day and was like, hey, you know, she doesn't speak 0:08:44.400 --> 0:08:46.280 to anyone, like we think you might have to get 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.920 her tested or something. And you know, this is before, 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:50.320 this is the eighties, this is kind of before we 0:08:50.360 --> 0:08:52.720 really had an awareness of people being on their spectrum 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:54.360 and things like that. And my mom was like, you know, 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:56.880 I just trust my kid to follow her path and 0:08:57.000 --> 0:09:00.200 I'm not gonna then now over And she's a doctor, right, 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:03.360 so she's like, I'm not going to over diagnose this. 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:09.920 Let's just like let her rocket her cook. And when 0:09:09.920 --> 0:09:12.640 I was a preteen, I remember, and I really followed 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:14.719 that trend all through elementary school, super super shy. And 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:16.280 when I was a preteen, you don't want nothing more 0:09:16.320 --> 0:09:18.960 than to fit in. And my mom told me the 0:09:18.960 --> 0:09:22.040 best advice I've ever received, which is stay weird. Because 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.560 otherwise your people won't know how to find you. And 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.840 I was like, okay, so I actually started incorporating color, 0:09:28.320 --> 0:09:31.160 and I wear yellow in my toughest peloton rides, and 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:35.320 that like yellow fixation really started as a teen when 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.480 I was started being like okay, like maybe the world 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:39.839 can see me. So who did you turn to when 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:43.360 you were because kids have funky things going on? Who 0:09:43.400 --> 0:09:48.080 was your person? I think my person really lived in 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:50.480 my cousins, right, So I grew up in a Puerto 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:53.960 Rican and Cuban household, multi generations all in one house. 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:55.760 I mean it was the kind of like open door 0:09:55.800 --> 0:09:58.000 policy where you might have somebody who's just like visiting 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:02.040 from Puerto Rico, Cuba, Panya, Like you didn't know who 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:03.920 I was, Like, I don't they my brother, my cousin, 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.400 my aunt, like I true half my childhood. I didn't 0:10:06.400 --> 0:10:09.280 even know my true connection with half the people in 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:12.520 my house. I just knew like they were the people. 0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:15.760 So my cousins. I grew up with a whole crew 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:18.520 of cousins all within like five years up or five 0:10:18.559 --> 0:10:20.960 years down from me, and they became. 0:10:21.000 --> 0:10:25.200 That's your world. Yeah, I mean when you're you're you're 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:29.040 super smart. Obviously you went to n YU, you graduated 0:10:29.120 --> 0:10:30.000 top of your class or. 0:10:30.400 --> 0:10:34.520 Yeah, magna you know whatever that is and things magna 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.880 kom something. So what was the goal here? What was 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:39.360 the goal? What do you want to do with all that? 0:10:39.520 --> 0:10:41.199 So I knew I wanted to I wanted to practice 0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:43.080 law since I was a kid. My father was an 0:10:43.080 --> 0:10:44.640 attorney when I was growing up, and he was a 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:48.480 law professor, and I remember him grading law exams in 0:10:48.520 --> 0:10:51.000 blue books. And it's interesting now with AI that they're 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:52.679 going back to blue books. I'm like, oh, this is 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:57.760 a remix. But yeah, I always was fascinated by I'm 0:10:57.760 --> 0:10:59.960 a virgo. I like a rule, I like a less 0:11:00.320 --> 0:11:02.839 I like to know what is right and what is wrong. 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:05.439 And I think in law school it was very revelatory 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.520 to me to wrestle with that and be like, actually, 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:10.840 there's a lot of ways to tell a story and 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:14.080 that it was in law school that I started becoming 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:18.600 fascinated with narrative and storytelling. Ah, and so that kind 0:11:18.600 --> 0:11:21.680 of informs a lot of what I've done since practicing law. 0:11:22.120 --> 0:11:24.439 But the you know, in college, the goal was definitely 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:26.000 like slay a law firm job. 0:11:26.200 --> 0:11:29.560 Was it more your dad was that more the reason 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:32.800 or did you really love all of that stuff you 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:33.400 were soaking in? 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:35.840 I just loved wrestling with it. I remember being on 0:11:35.840 --> 0:11:39.480 the debate team in high school and just having a 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:43.240 stack of facts and being like, how can I make 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:44.440 this make sense? Yeah? 0:11:44.760 --> 0:11:47.200 So were you when you talk about being painfully shy? 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:49.400 Were you happy when you had to go to school? 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:51.320 Did you want to go? 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:56.400 I loved school, like I love books, I love syllabus. 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:59.360 I love I mean honestly, Like my husband makes fun 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:01.440 of me because I was kid who get their syllabus 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:04.400 in July for school and like start reading the books 0:12:04.480 --> 0:12:08.280 before Labor Day, Like who does that? I was so 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.719 into that. I loved school. So being in the classroom 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:15.960 I adored. But it was like the small moments of 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:20.160 oh I remember, like like like the moment carrying your 0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:23.840 tray to a cafeteria table and not no, no, I 0:12:23.880 --> 0:12:25.800 hated you because it was the moment where you had 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:29.400 to like insert yourself into a social situation, like those 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:31.679 moments like walking into the playground and being like am 0:12:31.679 --> 0:12:33.000 I gonna go here? Am I going to go here? 0:12:33.160 --> 0:12:35.360 And I wasn't you know, I have to say, like 0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.200 it wasn't like I had some torture childhood, what I 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.319 was made fun of all the time. But I create 0:12:39.360 --> 0:12:41.320 in my own head. I created these tensions. 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:43.520 By the way, I think this is so interesting because 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:46.920 if someone's listening and has a kid, who is that kid? 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:50.040 Sometimes you think, well, is this child going to go 0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:54.120 down this path and be this way? Well, clearly something 0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:56.920 happened to you because you went from that girl to 0:12:57.160 --> 0:13:01.440 this girl. Was there a moment in high school in 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:04.080 college where you just cracked out and said, you know what, 0:13:04.559 --> 0:13:06.960 I don't you know, I'm going to be I'm going 0:13:07.000 --> 0:13:09.160 to be who I am, weird, all the things your 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:10.400 mom suggested. 0:13:10.640 --> 0:13:12.720 I remember, you know, there was a pivotal moment, and 0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.120 it kind of feels like a nineties romcom or something. 0:13:15.320 --> 0:13:20.840 But I was super unexpectedly nominated for Homecoming Queen were 0:13:21.000 --> 0:13:24.720 high school, and I was like homecoming Queen. Like I 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:27.240 wasn't like I didn't you know, I had friends, but 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:29.520 I wasn't like the most that one, you know, beloved 0:13:29.520 --> 0:13:31.520 girl in school and I was like And then I 0:13:31.559 --> 0:13:34.079 realized is because I had so many different groups of friends, 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:36.520 because I was truly friends with like the sporty kid 0:13:36.520 --> 0:13:38.240 and the nerdy kid, and the yearbook kid, and the 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.960 and I was the after school participant, like I wanted 0:13:41.960 --> 0:13:43.880 to sign up for everything, and I was like, oh, 0:13:44.000 --> 0:13:45.680 I have a lot of different groups of friends. I'm 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:49.080 like a bridge builder. And I ended up winning Home 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:52.480 Queen and havington Senior high School and that really was 0:13:52.520 --> 0:13:53.920 a turning point for me because I was like, I 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:55.600 didn't see myself that way at all. 0:13:55.679 --> 0:13:57.400 So when it was that there's probably what three of 0:13:57.400 --> 0:14:00.319 you waiting when they call out the person? Did you 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:02.000 think when they when they said your name? 0:14:02.200 --> 0:14:04.080 It was like the first time I had won anything. 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.040 It was the first time I had been seen for anything. 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:10.320 I mean truly, like I I'm such a I really 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:15.440 am an introverted, like energetic energetically and but it was 0:14:15.520 --> 0:14:17.320 that point that was at in that moment that I 0:14:17.360 --> 0:14:19.480 was like, oh, it's both hand, Like I can I 0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:23.520 can step on a stage and learn to be literate in. 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:27.640 That boy and to be somebody who doesn't expect it, 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:31.400 who finds yourself there. Okay, So did being in the 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.960 spotlight make you feel good? Did it make you feel weird? 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:38.480 I think especially then it was both yeah, But also 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:40.560 I was able to see myself through the community's eyes 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:42.320 a little bit. I was like, Oh, there's so and so, 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:44.000 and there's so and so, and the reason you know 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:46.280 it's you know, those voting things are really just like 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:49.640 a numbers game. And I was like, Oh, the reason 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:52.520 I won this wasn't because I'm so grand or special, 0:14:52.640 --> 0:14:55.520 is because I cast a wide net. And that was 0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:56.360 interesting to me. 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:58.280 To You're like, oh, this is part of my thing. 0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:00.960 I'm going to tell you something super weird. So in 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:04.480 high school, I was very similar to you, and it 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:09.600 was homecoming and they nominated Cameron Domain gorgeous, Margie I 0:15:09.680 --> 0:15:14.080 Annie gorgeous, somebody else gorgeous and me I. 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:17.040 Was like, I was like. My brother was like, what 0:15:17.520 --> 0:15:19.520 why I go? I actually don't know. I don't know. 0:15:19.720 --> 0:15:22.240 And then they said my brother. I still remember. My 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:22.840 brother was there. 0:15:22.880 --> 0:15:24.720 My dad was working, My brother was there with me, 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:25.960 and he goes, where do we go? 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:26.560 And we lose? 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:29.000 I go, I think we go left. I think because 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:30.880 that's what I was thinking, because he was always worried 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:32.280 about like where do we go? How do we get 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:34.920 out of here? And literally they called my name. There 0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.960 was a picture of my brother looked at me like 0:15:38.320 --> 0:15:43.080 shock her and me too, like me, and you realize 0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:47.600 because true, when you are in sports with the popular kids, 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:49.200 with the after school kids. 0:15:49.640 --> 0:15:50.640 That's interesting. 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:54.520 I wonder how many people have something similar who wound 0:15:54.600 --> 0:15:57.520 up in this way, because you can't just be in 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.000 a narrow lane. You've got you got a broad Now, 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.880 O correct one of the things about your story. Sorry, 0:16:02.920 --> 0:16:04.720 I didn't know this. Maybe I'm the only one, and 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:08.680 I want our listeners to know this story too. You're 0:16:08.760 --> 0:16:13.480 in a wine bar. Please tell me the story, because 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:16.600 I feel like in everyone's life there is a singular moment, 0:16:16.600 --> 0:16:18.400 and we all have many of them, but this one 0:16:18.400 --> 0:16:22.360 in particular that could either break you as a human 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:26.640 being or transform you into something else. Either you're going 0:16:26.720 --> 0:16:29.160 to go down a road that's going to be dark 0:16:29.280 --> 0:16:32.560 and terrible, or you're going to take this and turn 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:37.080 it into something. Tell me about what happened in the line. 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:40.680 So I was in with at NYU. I was entering 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:46.000 my senior year at NYU, meeting girlfriends after my internship. 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:47.760 I was working at a law firm at the time. 0:16:47.800 --> 0:16:50.880 It's Friday afternoon or Friday early evening, and I go 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:52.600 to meet them at this wine bar in the East Village. 0:16:52.600 --> 0:16:56.320 It's still there, it's called Barbeloche, very cute Italian wine bar. 0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:59.240 They sort of sort of like top or like pizza 0:16:59.320 --> 0:17:01.960 or whatever. And I was I was sitting in the 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:06.000 first stool closest to the entryway, and I hear gunshots. 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:09.120 A man walks in saying that he'd been shot, and 0:17:09.240 --> 0:17:11.840 I'm looking at him like is this because this is 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:15.239 kind of when those prank shows were very popular, and 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:17.919 like reality TV was kind of very pervasive, and I 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:20.320 were starting to become very pervasive, and I thought, is 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:22.960 this like a TV show or something like? This feels 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:26.240 so bizarre. But then the man walked in. The perpetrator 0:17:26.280 --> 0:17:28.439 walked in with the gun, say, you know, saying that 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:30.320 people were going to leave in body bags. That was 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:32.520 the first sentence that he uttered when we walked in there. 0:17:32.560 --> 0:17:34.000 And I was like, Okay, this is not a joke. 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.600 And time slows down when you're in those kind of traumas, 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:39.800 like if you know, hopefully nobody's ever been through that, 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:42.520 but you know, a car accident, something like somebody's in 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:45.159 a hospital, like you start, you your body is the 0:17:45.240 --> 0:17:50.720 processing speed is literally different, chemically different. And I it 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:54.040 was the first time that I was confronted with self 0:17:54.040 --> 0:17:56.520 talk like we've had we all have self talk, you know, 0:17:56.560 --> 0:17:58.800 where I've sixty to one hundred thousand thoughts a day. 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:02.760 But in that moment, I was I was my only companion, 0:18:03.480 --> 0:18:09.200 and I remember talking myself through like he basically snatched 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:13.440 me from the stool into this back dishwashing area where 0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:15.800 he took you. He grabbed me. Yeah, so I was 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:18.200 like his maid. There were probably like fifteen seventeen people 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:22.000 in the bar, and it was a narrow walkway, so 0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:25.720 the entryway was the only way out and the only 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:29.159 way in, only way out of this you know, establishment, 0:18:29.520 --> 0:18:32.720 And so he grabbed everybody ran back into that kitchen, 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:35.760 which was a dead end, you know, except for like 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:39.639 a tiny little window, and he grabs me, and I 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:45.240 remember speaking to myself thinking, just saying, like my first 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:49.040 refrain was this is really happening. This is really happening, 0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:52.119 Like this is really happening right now. And then time 0:18:52.200 --> 0:18:56.520 slowed down even more, and I mean I remember having 0:18:56.560 --> 0:19:01.560 super panic breath. But at some point you just deal 0:19:01.600 --> 0:19:04.080 with what's in front of you, like it's not just 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:06.480 some heroic thing, right, It's not like and all of 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:08.400 a sudden, I you know, it was ten feet tall, 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:10.159 and I was super brave. I wasn't. I was just 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:11.800 dealing what was directly in front of me. And what 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:13.800 was directly in front of me was this man holding 0:19:13.840 --> 0:19:20.560 a gun, a sword, kerosene covered us in kerosene, had me, 0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:25.199 had had me tie people up with zip ties. Yeah, 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:28.120 and then I'm then he basically grabs me again. By 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:32.000 this point, the NYPDR outside, and it becomes a full, 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:38.640 you know, hour plus long hostage negotiation between my utilizing 0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.359 my cell phone to the NYPD outside and then he 0:19:42.440 --> 0:19:47.080 and I having side conversations basically this four years saying, well, 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:49.680 he started speaking to being Spanish, and I replied in Spanish, 0:19:49.720 --> 0:19:52.880 and it turns out that he was black and either 0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:56.240 Dominican in Puerto Rican or Puerto Rican, and his wife 0:19:56.240 --> 0:19:58.520 had just died. We're talking about his family. He was 0:19:58.560 --> 0:20:02.159 a father, and so I remember very intentionally trying to 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:05.480 humanize the situation and being like, my name's Robin, like 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:08.280 there are people here who also have families, like you know, 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:14.480 and and the people behind me started to settle a 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:18.040 little bit, like they weren't wailing and screaming anymore. Once 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:21.960 he and I were talking, and it was still obviously 0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:25.520 like very heavily charged, but it was it had like 0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:29.080 more of a hum to it. And it was in 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:32.480 that moment that a woman and Margaret, who was sitting 0:20:32.520 --> 0:20:35.560