1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,639 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Carly and this is Keon, your favorite 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,360 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up. 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,640 Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break 4 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep the show running. 5 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 3: I told my sister she'd be a terrible mother, and 6 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 3: it made her so angry. 7 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:18,600 Speaker 2: I think that would make anyone angry. 8 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,959 Speaker 1: I seventeen male, have two sisters, Alice twenty nine and 9 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:26,800 Speaker 1: Miranda thirty three. I am much closer to Alice than 10 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,880 Speaker 1: I am to Miranda. Miranda is also not on good 11 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 1: terms with our parents. Alice has four kids and is 12 00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: currently expecting child number five, while Miranda can't have children, 13 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: which her ex divorced her for. I'm sensing a very 14 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 1: heavily loaded front end of this story, which by the way, 15 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 1: comes from user throwaway gig four five, three, two, six 16 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: eight And if you want to submit your own stories, 17 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: go to the r slash Showkay Storytime subbured it. I'm Dakota, 18 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 1: I'm Carly, and we're here to give you good advice Goofley, 19 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: but we don't have all the answers. We only know 20 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: what we would do, So tell us all the things 21 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 1: that you would do down in the comments. As Op says, 22 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 1: Miranda is very successful in life. She has a nice apartment, 23 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 1: works a good job, and earns a decent amount of money. Alice, 24 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,480 Speaker 1: on the other hand, is struggling financially yet because. 25 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 3: She's got five kids. 26 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: She had her first kid right out of high school 27 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: and got pregnant with her second child soon after, so 28 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: she decided to become a stay at home mom to 29 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: her children while her boyfriend provides for them. Me and 30 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,160 Speaker 1: my parents try to help them out as much as possible, 31 00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:33,959 Speaker 1: be it childcare or money, whatever she needs. I love 32 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,480 Speaker 1: my nieces and nephews. I take them to the park 33 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: and play with the older ones. I really enjoy it. 34 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: Miranda doesn't help out with them, saying she's too busy. Well, 35 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: she works long hours, but she doesn't have kids, so 36 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: I don't know what she does on weekends. She also 37 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: doesn't help out financially, which I find unfair since she 38 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: makes so much money and all she does is spend 39 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:57,280 Speaker 1: it on herself, although she does give us very nice 40 00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: gifts for Christmas and birthdays. My parents nagart it, saying 41 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 1: she should give some of her money to Alice monthly, 42 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 1: and I agree with that. So here comes the part 43 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: where I may have been in a hole. I was 44 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:11,000 Speaker 1: at Miranda's place last week as she baked muffins and 45 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,240 Speaker 1: invited me over to eat some and catch up. We 46 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,679 Speaker 1: got on the topic of Christmas presents and I told 47 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 1: her some of the stuff I wanted. She nodded and 48 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: said she would give our parents a coupon for a 49 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: much needed vacation, and Alice some clothes she had mentioned, 50 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: as well as some new boots and jackets for her kids. 51 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: I was a little stunned she didn't have more for Alice, 52 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: so I asked, why do you only get Alice the 53 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:35,880 Speaker 1: bare minimum you can afford to help out more, and 54 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,120 Speaker 1: you refuse to out of spite. Miranda looked at me 55 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: and laughed. She said it wasn't her business to feed 56 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: six people, that Alice was old enough to make her 57 00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: choices and live with the consequences. She knew what she 58 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,800 Speaker 1: was getting herself into, and that she wouldn't pay Alice's 59 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,880 Speaker 1: way through life just because she kept having children she 60 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,239 Speaker 1: couldn't afford. I was stunned at how cold she reacted. 61 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: I asked her how she could live her life being 62 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: so selfish and uncaring. She got angry and told me, listen, kid, 63 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 1: there are some things you are way too young for 64 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,239 Speaker 1: to be discussing with me, and this is one of those. 65 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: Drop the subject or get out. I got really frustrated 66 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: with her and said something I probably shouldn't have. I 67 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:22,919 Speaker 1: told her, no, wonder your husband divorced you, even if 68 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: you could have children, you would be a terrible mother. 69 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: Miranda got very quiet and told me to leave and 70 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,440 Speaker 1: never come back. She has now blocked me on everything, 71 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,880 Speaker 1: and though I don't agree with her not helping out, 72 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 1: I'm starting to feel guilty for what I said. So 73 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: am I the a hole? Comment one says you are 74 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 1: the a hole. You went way too far with that comment. 75 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: Shame on you, and Miranda is completely right. It's her 76 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: money that she earned. She has absolutely no obligation to 77 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 1: give her money away if she doesn't want to. You 78 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: and your family expecting Miranda to give her money to 79 00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 1: her sister that can't afford her lifestyle is greedy. Yes, 80 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 1: your sister Alice kept having kids. It was her choice 81 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: to keep having them. No one owes your sister anything 82 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: because of the choices she made, especially her sister. Comment 83 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 1: two says you're the a hole. Your parents are also 84 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: a holes. Your sister Alice is also an ahole. Just 85 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 1: because Miranda can afford to take care of Alice's children 86 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: doesn't mean it's her responsibility. Who are you to need 87 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: to understand what Miranda does on the weekends or what 88 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: she spends her earnings on. 89 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,600 Speaker 3: It's not fair. Miranda is right. 90 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 1: Alice is old enough to understand how to use Wiener wrappers. 91 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: If she's struggling with money at the third kid, then 92 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: struggling more at the fourth, why on God's green earth 93 00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,560 Speaker 1: did she get pregnant with a fifth. There's the selfish 94 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:49,080 Speaker 1: sibling for you, and it's not Miranda. Wakey, wakey. Alice 95 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:51,040 Speaker 1: is the one who seems to expect the rest of 96 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: the world has to provide for the kids she keeps 97 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: irresponsibly having. 98 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 2: Okay, I don't think Alice has come out and said 99 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 2: that at all. 100 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,520 Speaker 3: At all, zero percent. This is where filling in gaps. 101 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:02,040 Speaker 2: Why are we putting this in her mouth? 102 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 3: Yeah? 103 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:06,160 Speaker 1: I mean I will say, when you're financially struggling to 104 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: take care of three kids and then you decide to 105 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: have a fourth and a fifth, that is irresponsible and 106 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: should not be encouraged. 107 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 2: Right. There's also the possibility that there's other circumstances that 108 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 2: led to that happening. Maybe she don't know, has certain 109 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 2: beliefs that don't let her get rid of fetuses. 110 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: Who knows, but not our place to judge. It's not 111 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: like she's a monster. 112 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,920 Speaker 4: Right because she has just got children. 113 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 1: You know how many people have kids they can't afford 114 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: a lot. By the way, you are not just cruel 115 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,400 Speaker 1: for what you said, you are also. 116 00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,839 Speaker 3: Entitled and childish. 117 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: You made an active decision to help Alice in her kids, 118 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: either you do so selflessly or you choose to stop. 119 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 1: But you don't cry about That's not fair when someone 120 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,039 Speaker 1: else makes a different choice than you with their own 121 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,000 Speaker 1: time and money. 122 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,279 Speaker 3: And there is an update. It's been a while. I know. 123 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: I haven't answered any comments because I was too ashamed, 124 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 1: and I still am. When my parents and sister found 125 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: out what I said to Miranda, they were absolutely furious. 126 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: Alice shouted at me so long my ears were ringing. 127 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: She looked like she was about to rip my head off. 128 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 1: My sisters had a whole life before I came along, 129 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: and I was too immature to understand the dynamics between them. 130 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 1: When I look at my post I am disgusted by 131 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: my tone and what I assumed was the truth. Not 132 00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: only was I an absolute a whole, but I was 133 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: also terribly wrong about a lot of things. Alice never 134 00:06:28,800 --> 00:06:32,279 Speaker 1: asked for money or childcare. My parents did that willingly, 135 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: and as I was raised alongside them, they felt more 136 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: like siblings to me, so I didn't mind. 137 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:38,839 Speaker 3: My family also. 138 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:42,000 Speaker 1: Never painted Miranda as the big villain that was all 139 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,039 Speaker 1: just me because she was already grown and out of 140 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: the house most of the time when I was little. 141 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 3: I just didn't have a deeper connection with her. Maybe 142 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 3: I was resentful that she was never there. I can't tell. 143 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: My parents also didn't really pester Miranda that she should 144 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 1: give money to Alice. They only asked her to chip 145 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 1: in for bigger which she always did. I was blinded 146 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 1: by my love and concern for Alice that I vilified Miranda. 147 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 1: I apologized a hundred times to Miranda. I wrote her letters, 148 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:15,040 Speaker 1: tried calling, I went to her apartment, but she wouldn't 149 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 1: see me or answer my letters, and she is in 150 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 1: her right to do so. I hurt her deeply, and 151 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: she doesn't owe me forgiveness. But the reason I made 152 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,000 Speaker 1: this update in the first place is some hopefully good 153 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: news for you. Miranda has since moved away with her ex. 154 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 1: I don't have the whole picture, but they are still 155 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: very much in love. 156 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 2: Miranda moved away with the ex that divorced her for 157 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 2: not having a child. 158 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 1: This sounds about right, okay, and you know maybe, yeah, 159 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: maybe there's some some happiness to be gained there. 160 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 2: I hope so because she sounds lovely. Yeah, she bagan muffins. 161 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 4: She made she made you muffins. 162 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,520 Speaker 3: Man, that's crazy. You were entire You were an entitled, 163 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 3: selfish little seventeen year old. 164 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: You think you can walk into someone's house who just 165 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 1: made you muffins, major muffins and is talking about what 166 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,040 Speaker 1: she's gonna get you for Christmas? 167 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:04,840 Speaker 4: You can go. 168 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 3: It's no wonder your husband divorced you. 169 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 1: Whoa even that alone is crazy and then bringing in 170 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,000 Speaker 1: like they And by the way, if you had a. 171 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 3: Kid, which you can't have, you'd be a bad mom. 172 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if you're not hearing Miranda 173 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 2: from Miranda for it. 174 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 4: Ever, Yeah, I'd say at least ten years, that's how 175 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 4: long you'd need. 176 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 1: That's ten years worth of Like, I don't even want 177 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 1: to think about you, man. 178 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 2: Because also you say it's been a while, I don't 179 00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:38,319 Speaker 2: think based on everything it's been that like years. 180 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, how much of a while I'll be talking about. 181 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,920 Speaker 2: Right, I am sure I would personally still think you 182 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 2: needed a lot of time to grow and a lot 183 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,200 Speaker 2: of life experience and therapy. 184 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: Check in with Miranda when you're twenty seven. You might 185 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 1: be able to get crack the door open. Then we 186 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,559 Speaker 1: have a little bit more story. When her ex husband's 187 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: family found out Miranda was infertile, they pestered them to 188 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: no end, and they're marriage didn't withstand that. 189 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:02,520 Speaker 3: It was really. 190 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 1: Horrible, which I never knew. My parents said Miranda didn't 191 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: want me to know the truth. But now that they're 192 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: in another country, I hope they can be happy again. Also, 193 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: please don't hate on Alice. She's a wonderful person and 194 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: a very good mother to all of her kids. Alice's 195 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:22,319 Speaker 1: third pregnancy were twins, which they didn't expect, and baby. 196 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 3: Number five has been born. 197 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,800 Speaker 1: In the meantime, her boyfriend also got a promotion at 198 00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,800 Speaker 1: work and they can now live more comfortably. I know 199 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: I'm in the wrong and that I have a lot 200 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,839 Speaker 1: of growing to do. I deserve everything you said in 201 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,640 Speaker 1: the comments. Maybe one day I can have a relationship 202 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:39,199 Speaker 1: with Miranda again, but on her terms. If you want 203 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,319 Speaker 1: to know anything else, let me know. I promise to 204 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 1: answer as many comments as I can. And that is 205 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: the end of that story. 206 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 2: My mother pushed to see my brother's newborn after being 207 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 2: around sick people. 208 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,040 Speaker 3: I'm gonna push you out the door. 209 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,679 Speaker 2: So I twenty female, am about to be in the 210 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 2: ant soon. My brother and sister in law are expecting 211 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,440 Speaker 2: to have the baby. And the next few days I 212 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,559 Speaker 2: got sick and I'm just getting over it. I'm still 213 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,360 Speaker 2: coughing a bit, but I feel better than I did 214 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:10,319 Speaker 2: two days ago. However, my dad has started to feel 215 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 2: sick too. By the way, this comes from Necessary Control 216 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 2: forty three eighty six And if you want to submit 217 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the arsash Okay storytime sub reddit. 218 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:23,559 Speaker 2: I'm Carly, I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, 219 00:10:23,679 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know 220 00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 2: what we would do, so let us know what you 221 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:30,480 Speaker 2: would do. In the comments, Opie says, my mom lives 222 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 2: with us, but she hasn't had any symptoms yet. I 223 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 2: was talking to her today about my sister in law 224 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 2: and the baby, and she told me that they're inducing 225 00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 2: her into labor tomorrow and the baby will likely be 226 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 2: here by Friday. I mentioned how it sucks that we 227 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 2: won't be able to see the baby since my dad 228 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,120 Speaker 2: and I are sick. She told me that if she 229 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,840 Speaker 2: doesn't feel sick, she's still gonna go see the baby. 230 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 2: I found this very hypocritical because all week she's been 231 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 2: lecturing me about going out while sick. I didn't go 232 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:00,080 Speaker 2: to work Monday, but I decided to stop buy my 233 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 2: evening ceramic class to pick up a few things. I 234 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,960 Speaker 2: wasn't gonna stay there. I just needed a few of 235 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 2: my pieces. She decided to lecture me on this, even 236 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 2: though I told her I wouldn't be there for long. 237 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 2: Despite lecturing me about this before I left, she asked 238 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 2: me to get her a sweet treat whatever. This is 239 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,840 Speaker 2: just one example. She's also got on to me for 240 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 2: going to class. When I had to do a test 241 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,240 Speaker 2: that day, I forgot I was sick and ate some 242 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,040 Speaker 2: of it on the drive home. It completely slipped my mind, 243 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 2: but my mom just gave me half the dessert and 244 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 2: I gave her a different spoon. However, this dessert was 245 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:36,000 Speaker 2: strawberry and cream, so it wasn't like she could cut 246 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:40,000 Speaker 2: off part of the dessert and be fine whatever. Today, 247 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,920 Speaker 2: I feel much better, still coughing a bit with some congestion, 248 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 2: but my eye is no longer red or bothering me. 249 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 2: I came home and my mom and I started talking 250 00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 2: about the baby. That's when she told me she essentially 251 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 2: doesn't care if my dad and I are sick, as 252 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,200 Speaker 2: long as she doesn't experience symptoms, she will still go 253 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,679 Speaker 2: to see the baby. I'm up hauled by her hypocrisy, 254 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:04,680 Speaker 2: considering this entire week she's been getting on to me 255 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:08,400 Speaker 2: for being sick and irresponsible personally, I think going to 256 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 2: see a newborn baby knowing that your daughter and husband 257 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:15,320 Speaker 2: are sick is even more irresponsible and just selfish. I 258 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 2: told her this, and she got irritated and started telling 259 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,160 Speaker 2: me to get out. I don't think my sister in 260 00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,480 Speaker 2: law or my brother know that I am sick or 261 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 2: that my dad is starting to feel sick. During the 262 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 2: conversation with my mom, when I brought up that my 263 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 2: dad and I are sick and that I ate some 264 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 2: of her dessert, a few days ago, she made a 265 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:35,040 Speaker 2: sh sound insinuating that she doesn't want anyone to know. 266 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:37,240 Speaker 2: I don't want to stress out my sister in law 267 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: or my brother, but I also don't want her to 268 00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:43,080 Speaker 2: potentially endanger the well being of their newborn baby. I 269 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 2: was maybe thinking of casually bringing it up to my brother, 270 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 2: just letting him know my dad and I are sick 271 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 2: and that we likely won't be there, instead of outright 272 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 2: telling him not to let my mom see the baby. 273 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,080 Speaker 2: I'm also wondering if I should say something now or 274 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 2: wait until the baby's here. Now? Would I be the 275 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:00,839 Speaker 2: A hole if I told my brother that he should 276 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 2: be concerned about my mom seeing the baby? We have 277 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:04,079 Speaker 2: some comments. 278 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: I think the funniest thing you could do here would 279 00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,640 Speaker 1: be to just try to get your mom sick on purpose, 280 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 1: so then there's no doubt about whether or not she's sick. 281 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 2: That's rough. 282 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 4: Yeah comment. 283 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 2: For one, you would not be the A hole if 284 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 2: you frame it as a concern not telling him what 285 00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,480 Speaker 2: their family should do. A simple Hey, bro, Dad and 286 00:13:24,559 --> 00:13:26,839 Speaker 2: I are sick and getting over whatever we have. Mom 287 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,160 Speaker 2: seems fine for now. Just wanted to let you know 288 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 2: and let you and sister in law. Decide what you 289 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:33,520 Speaker 2: want to do about visiting the baby. I won't go 290 00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 2: until i'm better. Some people genuinely don't care. Most people 291 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 2: would appreciate knowing this comment to not the a hole. 292 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,079 Speaker 2: If you tell your brother and they still decide to 293 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,080 Speaker 2: let your mom visit, that's their decision, but hiding it 294 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,120 Speaker 2: from them and essentially lying by a mission is messed up. 295 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 2: They deserve to decide whether visits are allowed with all 296 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 2: the information in hand. Your mom knows it's wrong too, 297 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:59,240 Speaker 2: because she told you not to say anything. Anyway, Potentially 298 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,760 Speaker 2: endangering newborn's life is not worth it. Just to avoid 299 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 2: hurting your mom's feelings. She can wait to meet the baby. 300 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 2: We have an edit, but it's also kind of an update. Ool. 301 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:10,079 Speaker 2: What are your thoughts? 302 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:11,080 Speaker 4: Oh, what'll we get there? 303 00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 3: Yeah? 304 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,679 Speaker 1: I agree with all the comments being like, just let 305 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,559 Speaker 1: let them know. Hey, me and dad sick, Mom not sick, 306 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,440 Speaker 1: me not seeing baby. You are able to make any 307 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: decision you want now byme, I agree. 308 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,280 Speaker 2: Edit. I just let my brother know that my dad 309 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,840 Speaker 2: and I are sick and that mom has been around us. 310 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 2: I didn't say anything about not letting her see the baby, 311 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,240 Speaker 2: only that she's been around us. He just said okay, 312 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,560 Speaker 2: which is very classic of him. Anything they decide to 313 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,880 Speaker 2: do now is in their hands. At least I let 314 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 2: them know. 315 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 4: Update. The baby was born on the fifth. 316 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 2: My parents plural went to see the baby a few 317 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 2: hours after the birth, and my brother and sister in 318 00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 2: law invited them to see the baby. They held the baby. 319 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 2: My mom at this point still hasn't experienced any symptoms, 320 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 2: and my dad told he felt fine and that earlier 321 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 2: that week he probably felt sick because of allergies. However, 322 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 2: today he came home from work saying he's starting to 323 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 2: feel sick again. By the fifth, my symptoms had lessened 324 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,000 Speaker 2: tremendously and I barely felt sick. I still am not 325 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 2: one hundred percent, though, especially because I still feel terrible 326 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 2: when I wake up in the morning, which is how 327 00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 2: I know I'm not fully healed yet. 328 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 3: I can't believe these sickies held that baby. What was 329 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 3: your brother and sister in law thinking. 330 00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,600 Speaker 2: I really hope that your brother told his wife. 331 00:15:33,040 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 3: I would hope, so I would hope. One can hope. 332 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 2: Otherwise y'all crazy. I don't know. 333 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 4: I hope the baby's okay. 334 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 2: I hope the baby's okay. 335 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:45,920 Speaker 3: The baby and if someone think about the baby. 336 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 2: I don't know how to feel about all this. Am 337 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 2: I being over dramatic? I told my brother, but he 338 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 2: still decided to have my parents come and see and 339 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:56,280 Speaker 2: hold the baby, So now I just feel crazy. I'm 340 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,280 Speaker 2: still going to wait to see the baby until I'm 341 00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 2: fully healed and one hundred percent I'm not sick anymore. 342 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,560 Speaker 2: I still feel my parents shouldn't have gone to see 343 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,960 Speaker 2: the baby, but now I just feel super overdramatic for 344 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 2: making such a big deal about it when in the 345 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 2: end they still ended up seeing the baby. Now I 346 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 2: feel crazy like it wasn't a big deal in the 347 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 2: first place, especially since they were invited and only they 348 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 2: were invited. Maybe my sister in law's parents were invited too, 349 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 2: but I'm not sure. I just know no one else 350 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,440 Speaker 2: in the family was invited to see them in the hospital. 351 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,640 Speaker 2: Now that they're home, they're inviting more people to see 352 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 2: the baby. But at the hospital I was told that 353 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,080 Speaker 2: only they were asked to come right after the birth. 354 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 2: I'm just really confused. Me too, And that's the end 355 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:41,960 Speaker 2: of this story. We're gonna go to the next one. 356 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,720 Speaker 3: My sister blamed me for not helping her after she 357 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:47,640 Speaker 3: took control of my plans. 358 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,240 Speaker 4: Well tell her not to do that. 359 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: I forty female, have a sister thirty eight female, who 360 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: is seven months into her second pregnancy. She's married and 361 00:16:56,840 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 1: also has another child who's three. Recently, some extended family 362 00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,680 Speaker 1: reached out about wanting to get together and we were 363 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,680 Speaker 1: supposed to go to a restaurant for dinner. By the way, 364 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:09,680 Speaker 1: this comes from user lost in Paradise forty seven, forty eight, 365 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 366 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay storytime subbured it. I'm Dakota, 367 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:17,320 Speaker 1: I'm Carly, and we're here to give you good advice. 368 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,399 Speaker 3: Goofully. But we don't have all the answers. 369 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,920 Speaker 1: We only know what we would do, So just tell 370 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,280 Speaker 1: us what you would do. All the things down in 371 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 1: the comments and op says. My sister asked me about 372 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,800 Speaker 1: switching it to her house since it would be easier 373 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,399 Speaker 1: for her. We decided we would order food so she 374 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,679 Speaker 1: didn't have to cook, and briefly throughout some ideas. A 375 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: few days later, she made a passive comment that she 376 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 1: would be cooking because it would be too expensive to 377 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:45,120 Speaker 1: cater and I said, I was confused because we were 378 00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:49,119 Speaker 1: all going to contribute. My sister still insisted on cooking, 379 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,679 Speaker 1: so I rolled with it and we sorted out what 380 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,680 Speaker 1: I would bring. We chatted about other stuff up until 381 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: the day before dinner, and everything seemed fine. The day 382 00:17:58,200 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: of dinner, I called my sister two hours before the 383 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:03,440 Speaker 1: scheduled time to let them know I was heading over 384 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: a little early to help. I ended up getting my 385 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: butt handed to me. My pregnant sister had been spending 386 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 1: all day cleaning and preparing while I thought I was 387 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,600 Speaker 1: going to show up an hour before. She said they 388 00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 1: only agreed to lend me their house to host, which 389 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,440 Speaker 1: I swear was never said, and that I should have 390 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:25,000 Speaker 1: been there hours ago helping out. I started to say, hey, 391 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 1: I'm sorry if you needed me there earlier, all you 392 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 1: had to do was ask, and got screamed at that 393 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 1: I should have known. 394 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,119 Speaker 3: She said. 395 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,399 Speaker 1: Everyone was saying how wrong it was for me to 396 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,439 Speaker 1: throw this dinner on the pregnant woman, and that I 397 00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,480 Speaker 1: looked like a real a hole to the family, and 398 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,439 Speaker 1: she hung up on me. A subsequent phone call to 399 00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,360 Speaker 1: my mom ended with an angry she's pregnant and you're 400 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 1: upsetting her A justification without any opportunity to hear my side. 401 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:54,679 Speaker 1: I'm sure there's an element of hormones at play, but 402 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 1: I don't think it's fair that I'm automatically wrong and 403 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 1: the a hole because someone is pregnant. I ended up 404 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,520 Speaker 1: calling my extended family and saying that it was too 405 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: much for my sister with her pregnancy for all of 406 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 1: us to be at her house, and that we needed 407 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: to cancel or move the location. My extended family then 408 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 1: called my sister, who told him she was sorry, but 409 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:18,679 Speaker 1: dinner was canceled. Dinner did not happen. Actually, to be honest, 410 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: I feel like. 411 00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:23,200 Speaker 2: There's obvious receipts here and if people aren't gonna read those, 412 00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:24,159 Speaker 2: then screw. 413 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. It's like this, I mean, and it was whose idea, right, let. 414 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,960 Speaker 2: Me let me it was her idea, because. 415 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, the sister asked about switching it to her house. 416 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:39,720 Speaker 2: And then the sister insisted that she cooks still. So 417 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,919 Speaker 2: I'm like, if we have those texts, i'd fully just 418 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:45,040 Speaker 2: be like, hey, mom read yeah. 419 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 1: I don't think it's anything to like get super hung 420 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,920 Speaker 1: up on. I think your sister's probably just really pregnant 421 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 1: and stressed out, very pregnant and you can just leave 422 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:54,880 Speaker 1: it at that, honestly. 423 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, let's keep going. 424 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,320 Speaker 1: I agree with some comments that my sister thought she 425 00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 1: could handle it and then got overwhelmed. I suspect her 426 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 1: husband wasn't being much help, so she got on his case, 427 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: which may have turned around, and he said he thought 428 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:11,400 Speaker 1: she was planning this with me, which set her off 429 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,080 Speaker 1: on me. When I asked, why haven't you called to 430 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,159 Speaker 1: ask where I am? If you felt I should be 431 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 1: there already, why are you waiting until I call you? 432 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:21,840 Speaker 1: She told me it was common sense and courtesy that 433 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,480 Speaker 1: I should have known she would need help. She said 434 00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 1: it was her plan to move locations and that she 435 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,760 Speaker 1: was being kind enough to lend me her house. I 436 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: pointed out that it was her idea to move the location, 437 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:38,440 Speaker 1: and she responded with, irregardless, No, not, irregardless, is your 438 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: idea right? 439 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,840 Speaker 2: I was fine with having it where we originally were 440 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 2: having it. 441 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: And again, and if you just wanted me to help 442 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,359 Speaker 1: you get the house ready, all you had to do 443 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: was ask. 444 00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 2: I would have come over and maybe opia you also 445 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,920 Speaker 2: could have been like you want me here earlier. 446 00:20:55,119 --> 00:21:01,119 Speaker 1: But still, irregardless, irregardless, my mom will not fight with 447 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,679 Speaker 1: my sister because she's afraid of losing access to the grandchildren. 448 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 1: I'm upset and embarrassed at the dysfunction, and no, I'm 449 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 1: not going to get an apology. My sister will just 450 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: avoid me and then want to act like nothing happened 451 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 1: as per her usual mo o am I the ahole? 452 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 3: And there are some comments I think that your sister's 453 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,440 Speaker 3: m O is fine here. 454 00:21:22,040 --> 00:21:24,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, did she explode a little bit for no reason? 455 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,560 Speaker 4: Yeah? 456 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 2: Can we probably move on without an apology for this 457 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 2: one from your very heavily pregnant sister. 458 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think you can. 459 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: I think it's something you can just I think we 460 00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: can just let that drift off into the sunset. 461 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 2: Maybe after she has a baby. You can be like, 462 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 2: remember when you freaked out of me for where you 463 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,159 Speaker 2: want to have the party, and you guys can go 464 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:45,879 Speaker 2: ha ha ha. 465 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, now you can make the jokes that you can 466 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,560 Speaker 1: always ask you any help. Yeah, all you gotta do 467 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,960 Speaker 1: is ask would just ask me want to help? 468 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,400 Speaker 2: I would. I wouldn't be surprised if you did eventually 469 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 2: get that apology. But I also think that we can 470 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 2: move on with less of one than we're needing. 471 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,640 Speaker 1: Right off into the sunset. We do have some comments, 472 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,760 Speaker 1: come on one not the a hole. Call everyone immediately 473 00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 1: and say, hey, this is overwhelming for sis, so let's 474 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:13,760 Speaker 1: move it back to the restaurant. She doesn't get to 475 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 1: demand it be done at her place, demand to cook, 476 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: and then turn into an utter nightmare because she can't 477 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,359 Speaker 1: do what she demanded to do. A reply says this, 478 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:26,080 Speaker 1: this is the way I'm in a similar situation to up. 479 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 1: My sister is a mom to three while I don't 480 00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,480 Speaker 1: have any children. There have been so many times over 481 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,160 Speaker 1: the years where she uses her mom card to dictate 482 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 1: and demand things, and in her eyes, no matter what 483 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 1: I do, I'm always wrong because she's a mom and 484 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 1: I'm not. Some days it's absolutely wild, and even our 485 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:47,160 Speaker 1: family is blown away by how fast she'll woin eighty 486 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:50,600 Speaker 1: on us using her role as a mom as her 487 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:55,119 Speaker 1: go to excuse. Basically set the precedent now instead of 488 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:58,240 Speaker 1: letting her get away with this behavior. From my experience, 489 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,600 Speaker 1: these actions will only get worse over time. 490 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:01,680 Speaker 3: Hope, He says. 491 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,919 Speaker 1: It happens a lot with us too, and I can't 492 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,920 Speaker 1: believe it. I've listened to her vent many times about 493 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 1: the in laws, our family and whoever and whatever. Even 494 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: if I'm busy, I make the time. Then when it's 495 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,639 Speaker 1: my turn, she is always too busy and plays that 496 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: you're not a mom, so you don't get it. She's right, 497 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,080 Speaker 1: I'm not a mom and can't possibly fully understand her struggle. 498 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: But that doesn't make me any less intelligent or important. 499 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: Second comment says, I swear being a parent must flip 500 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:32,520 Speaker 1: a switch in some people's brains. My old boss literally 501 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: saw managing an office is parenting. He told me, I 502 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:39,879 Speaker 1: can't understand managing people and never will until I have kids. 503 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,080 Speaker 1: That is going to be a long wait. Even when 504 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:45,919 Speaker 1: I was in a meeting with him the GM and 505 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 1: my union rep over the way he'd been treating me. 506 00:23:49,359 --> 00:23:51,719 Speaker 1: He doesn't go if a boss says to their employee, 507 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 1: he says if a parent says to their child, I 508 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: cut him off at the very point there are no 509 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,680 Speaker 1: children here. I'm the youngest in the room and I'm 510 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: nearly forty, not the ahole. So your sibling moved the 511 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 1: location of the meal because it would be easier for her, 512 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 1: and is now making a fuss because of all the 513 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: work involved. Your sister made a series of decisions that 514 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,360 Speaker 1: created the situation, and at no point said anything or reached. 515 00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 3: Out for help. This is all on her. You're not 516 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:17,879 Speaker 3: a mind reader. 517 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: You could not know, and at every turn you offered 518 00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:24,000 Speaker 1: solutions that would have in fact made things easier. Her 519 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 1: sister needs to get over herself. And that is the 520 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,960 Speaker 1: end of that comment and the end of that story. 521 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:34,280 Speaker 2: My sister's bachelorette is turning into a nightmare. I might back. 522 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:37,520 Speaker 1: Out, the nightmare will follow you. 523 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 3: You cannot leave the nightmare. 524 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,440 Speaker 2: My sister is having a bachelorette party. I'm the maid 525 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:45,920 Speaker 2: of honor. She also has a matron of honor. And 526 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:49,399 Speaker 2: this is my first time ever being in a bridal party, 527 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 2: so I'm in uncharted territory here. She told me which 528 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,959 Speaker 2: flight she wanted and said she was going to let 529 00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,600 Speaker 2: the other bridesmaids know. I said I was going to 530 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,880 Speaker 2: book it, and she said bet so I booked them. 531 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,919 Speaker 2: I got insurance, but it only covers illnesses, passing or 532 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 2: severe weather. By the way, this comes from Separate Payment 533 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,919 Speaker 2: seventy fifty eight. And if you want to submit your 534 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime Separated It. 535 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 4: I'm Carly I'm Dakota, and we're here. 536 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,160 Speaker 2: To give good advice. Goofully. We don't have all the answers, though, 537 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 2: we only know what we would do, so let us 538 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,560 Speaker 2: know you would do in the comments, and Op says. 539 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,760 Speaker 2: Last night, she tells me we might be changing it 540 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 2: to someplace else in the same state because none of 541 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 2: the airbnbs accept parties. There are six of us. I 542 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,679 Speaker 2: found a place that allowed parties eighteen hundred, so it 543 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,600 Speaker 2: was still nice. I sent it to her. She responded 544 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,879 Speaker 2: with haha, sadly a no for me. I asked why, 545 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,119 Speaker 2: and she said she didn't like it. She thought it 546 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,800 Speaker 2: was dark and looked like it smelled. It had a 547 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:49,960 Speaker 2: downstairs bar space that actually looked really cool. It was 548 00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 2: dimly lit, but it did not look like it smelled 549 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,640 Speaker 2: at all. I thought it looked like a vibe. I said, 550 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,159 Speaker 2: that's only the downstairs. The upstairs looks nice though, and 551 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,560 Speaker 2: we probably won't be in the basement much anyway since 552 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 2: we'll be going out. But heard she responded, the couch 553 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,399 Speaker 2: looks like it's about to break lol. The couch looked fine. 554 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 2: I suggested, maybe message the host for the other places 555 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 2: you were looking at if they accept six guests, maybe 556 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 2: it won't be an issue. She said. The guests aren't 557 00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 2: the problem. It's the rules in the airbnb. They say 558 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,679 Speaker 2: no bachelorette or no parties. They may have my aunts 559 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,360 Speaker 2: and moms come and they are not guests, so they 560 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,159 Speaker 2: are considered a party if they come over. I responded with, okay, well, 561 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,639 Speaker 2: I already got my plane ticket. I got insurance, but 562 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 2: that only covers illness, passing, and severe weather, so I 563 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,600 Speaker 2: don't think I'll be able to get that money back. 564 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 2: Did you send that message about booking those flights to 565 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 2: everyone else? Has anyone else got their flight yet? She 566 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,440 Speaker 2: had mentioned telling them. She said, no one has gotten 567 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 2: their flights, only you so far. Earlier, when I mentioned 568 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,840 Speaker 2: buying my flight already, she was just like. 569 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:56,159 Speaker 4: Oh my god, no, rip. I don't know. 570 00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,800 Speaker 2: It just seems like she is zero consideration or doesn't 571 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,119 Speaker 2: care that I already bought the flight light after she 572 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 2: gave me the go, and that I might be out 573 00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 2: that money. 574 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:05,720 Speaker 4: Not to mention, I. 575 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:10,479 Speaker 2: Found airbnbs from twelve hundred to eighteen hundred for three nights, 576 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: and the places she's been looking at are like twenty 577 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 2: five hundred to five thousand. I'm on a budget. I 578 00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,959 Speaker 2: can't afford to buy another ticket or pay for an 579 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:23,119 Speaker 2: airbnb at that rate. If I'm going to be paying 580 00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,720 Speaker 2: that much for the airbnb, then I don't want to 581 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:29,720 Speaker 2: leave that airbnb at that point. That's the activity for 582 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,920 Speaker 2: the trip. This has been a stressful situation and I'm 583 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,960 Speaker 2: contemplating sitting the trip out comments comment one. In my experience, 584 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:40,680 Speaker 2: most fights start because people are wishy washy and don't 585 00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,240 Speaker 2: set out clear boundaries. She wants a high cost party, 586 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 2: you don't have the means to handle it. One way 587 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:48,960 Speaker 2: to handle this might be to text or tell your 588 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 2: sister that you hope she has an outstanding time at 589 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,640 Speaker 2: her bachelorette party and you absolutely understand if she'll need 590 00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 2: to replace you as the maid of honor, But unfortunately 591 00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,959 Speaker 2: you don't have enough money to buy a second plane ticket, 592 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 2: so you'll have to sit this one out. Low key 593 00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:05,199 Speaker 2: bickering over the various costs involved are likely going to 594 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 2: cause a lot of hard feelings, So just pull the plug. 595 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,600 Speaker 2: She can have whatever party she sees fit, so long 596 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 2: as you're not having to fund it. Commuch to two 597 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,840 Speaker 2: so on flights and lodging, everyone's going to be anywhere 598 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 2: from one thousand to fifteen hundred for this that's absurd 599 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:26,640 Speaker 2: and inconsiderate unless the bride is paying for dresses, hair, makeup, flights, 600 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,040 Speaker 2: hotels for the wedding itself. If not local, you're easily 601 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 2: looking at twenty five hundred to three thousand for a 602 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:36,040 Speaker 2: wedding that isn't yours when the average American makes less 603 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:39,400 Speaker 2: than sixty two k pre tax. I'm from a low 604 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 2: cost of living part of the country and move to 605 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:43,880 Speaker 2: a high cost of living area. When I did my 606 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,160 Speaker 2: bachelor party, it was more important to me to have 607 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,360 Speaker 2: everyone together than to have the dream house or location. 608 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 2: We got an airbnb in a hidden gem town in 609 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 2: the low cost of living area, so my friends that 610 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,760 Speaker 2: don't make as much could drive in and not have 611 00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,760 Speaker 2: to take PTO, while my high cost of living friends 612 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 2: loved how cheap the trip was because we didn't do 613 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 2: a well known or expensive place. 614 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. 615 00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 1: And the funny thing about that average yeah of like 616 00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,360 Speaker 1: sixty two thousand a year is that it's also averaged 617 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,320 Speaker 1: against the people making like a billion dollars. 618 00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 3: It's even so. 619 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, the in reality, it's probably somewhere close to like forty. 620 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,240 Speaker 2: Yeah flights and four nights. Lodging was five hundred dollars 621 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:26,320 Speaker 2: a person, and my local friends paid two hundred and 622 00:29:26,360 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 2: twenty five dollars for four nights. A lot of people 623 00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,640 Speaker 2: may disagree with me about this, but the bachelor party 624 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,040 Speaker 2: isn't just for the bride or groom. It's a chance 625 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:36,000 Speaker 2: for the people who got you to this point to 626 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 2: celebrate a big moment in your life. It also, it 627 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,840 Speaker 2: seems extremely inconsiderate to me to not consider the limitations 628 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 2: of the people that you want to be with you. 629 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,640 Speaker 2: Comment three. When did such expensive trips or bachelorettes become 630 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,680 Speaker 2: such a thing. In my day, the bachelorette was a 631 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:54,920 Speaker 2: one night event with dinner and bar hopping. It's like 632 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:58,040 Speaker 2: brides have no consideration for their friends and expect them 633 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 2: to spend wild amounts of money and participate in activities 634 00:30:01,880 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 2: they might not even like, just because it's the bride's wedding. 635 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:09,120 Speaker 2: In my mind, the bachelorette, wedding shower, and all associated 636 00:30:09,160 --> 00:30:12,200 Speaker 2: things are about having your friends with you to celebrate 637 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 2: with you, not to make them go into debt for you. 638 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 2: If you measure your friendship on how much money someone 639 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,000 Speaker 2: is willing to spend, then you the bride are the 640 00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 2: bad friend for not being willing to scale back to 641 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,280 Speaker 2: allow your friends not to be overly burdened. But then, 642 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 2: don't get me started on the actual cost of weddings, 643 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 2: as I fail to see the point of spending excessive 644 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 2: amounts of money and going into debt for a one 645 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:38,800 Speaker 2: day event. And we have an update. But yeah, great comments. 646 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, back in my day used to be one dinner, 647 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 1: everyone ate a baked potato. 648 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 3: And shook my hand. 649 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:50,880 Speaker 1: And now everyone's flying to Tahiti baked potato. 650 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, they do during the fame and the potato fight. 651 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,080 Speaker 3: That's where we'ren't a lot of bachelorette parties. 652 00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:01,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I think, what what do they say that 653 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 1: it's ridiculous and inconsiderate. 654 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:05,360 Speaker 2: It is to make it like. 655 00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:10,000 Speaker 3: Too grand a person is insane. You will not catch 656 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 3: me there. 657 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:13,600 Speaker 2: I don't have that money. I'm not going to that. 658 00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,120 Speaker 3: Even if I did have that money, I'm not spending 659 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:16,479 Speaker 3: on that. 660 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's crazy, that's crazy. 661 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,280 Speaker 2: Crazy. Update. I found a bunch of places that would 662 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,840 Speaker 2: allow us to stay there after I mentioned them and 663 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 2: explained the situation. 664 00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:30,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's almost like just explaining, you know, to someone 665 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 1: can do a whole lot. Yeah, I do agree with 666 00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,360 Speaker 1: the comments of being like I think you might just 667 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,760 Speaker 1: pull the plug on this now, because if this turns 668 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,480 Speaker 1: into like a big squabble drawn out, then it could 669 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,040 Speaker 1: just do more damage than if you just were like, hey, pulling, 670 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:47,240 Speaker 1: I'm pulling out. 671 00:31:47,320 --> 00:31:47,959 Speaker 3: I can't do it. 672 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think you're can be straight up and 673 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:52,680 Speaker 2: be like, it's money. I mean, who knows, maybe your 674 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,000 Speaker 2: sister will be like, listen, I understand you're like my 675 00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:55,760 Speaker 2: younger sister. 676 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:56,480 Speaker 4: I want you. 677 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 2: There's still I'll pay for your flight or something. Yeah. 678 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, but you're already do in the most not personal 679 00:32:02,440 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 1: like thing to do with you. I just can't make 680 00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:05,920 Speaker 1: the numbers work. 681 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,400 Speaker 2: Yeah for me, she said, we will stick to the 682 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,760 Speaker 2: place we're going. I'm down for those they look cute. 683 00:32:11,120 --> 00:32:13,560 Speaker 2: But last thing, just wanting a pool. If we are 684 00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,400 Speaker 2: spending that much money on a place, it's cold in May, 685 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 2: so a pool would be nice. I know some airbnbs 686 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,320 Speaker 2: are charging a heat fee, but divided by six, it's 687 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 2: not too bad. I'll check more tonight. We will finalize 688 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 2: by Sunday. I said, Okay, sounds good. I'm game for 689 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,720 Speaker 2: a pool, but ideally i'd like to spend no more 690 00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:33,640 Speaker 2: than four hundred to four fifty per person on the Airbnb. 691 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 2: With the flights and the Airbnb, that should be right 692 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 2: around one thousand dollars, she said. To be honest, the 693 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:43,280 Speaker 2: places probably will be closer than six hundred, I said, 694 00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:45,840 Speaker 2: I mean, if it's under twenty five hundred, it will 695 00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:47,840 Speaker 2: work out. I just don't think we need to be 696 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,560 Speaker 2: spending thirty five hundred plus for three nights. At that point, 697 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,280 Speaker 2: we could each buy our own hotel room for three nights. 698 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 2: I don't know where other people stand financially, but it 699 00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,960 Speaker 2: might be good to ask them how much they're willing 700 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,440 Speaker 2: to spend. Also, so pretty much, I'll be able to 701 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 2: use the flight still, but I'll be spending out my 702 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:07,240 Speaker 2: butt for everything else. Live, laugh, love, And that's the 703 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,520 Speaker 2: end of this story. We're gonna go to the next one. Hey, 704 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:14,640 Speaker 2: it's Carly, your favorite Axelottel host. Here. We're going to 705 00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:16,920 Speaker 2: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of 706 00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,880 Speaker 2: ads from our sponsors. My mother has been sending cruel 707 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:25,440 Speaker 2: messages to my girlfriend, and I only just discovered why mommy. 708 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 4: Why? 709 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 2: Generally not much rattles me. My friends call me a stoic, 710 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 2: emotionally constipated idiot, and they're not wrong, which is why 711 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 2: we're all still a little stunned that the love of 712 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:41,240 Speaker 2: my life is basically my opposite. I've been with my 713 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:44,840 Speaker 2: girlfriend for eight years and have known her for ten. 714 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 2: She's quiet, gentle, brilliant, and actual, full fledged professor and 715 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,480 Speaker 2: genuinely one of the kindest people I've ever met. By 716 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:55,200 Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Throwaway Frisbee. And if you 717 00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:56,880 Speaker 2: want to smit your own stories, go to the r 718 00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 2: slash okay storytime sub reddit. I'm Carly and I'm Savannah, 719 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,400 Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice goofy, but we 720 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:04,480 Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we 721 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:05,880 Speaker 2: would do. Let us know what you would do in 722 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 2: the comments. She's silly, shy, goofy in the best ways 723 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,839 Speaker 2: and loves to poke fun. I love all of it. 724 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,960 Speaker 2: I love her more than I've ever loved anyone in 725 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 2: this lifetime. But last night something happened that I can't 726 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 2: let go of. My phone was charging, so I was 727 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:25,879 Speaker 2: scrolling Instagram reels on hers like I usually do. One 728 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,040 Speaker 2: of her friends DMed her and normally I'd send back 729 00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,880 Speaker 2: some dumb reaction photos so they'd know it's me, just 730 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 2: a thing in our circle. But it wasn't a joke. 731 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,480 Speaker 2: It was screenshots my girlfriend had sent her friend, and 732 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 2: the friend was trying to comfort her. I hesitated, then 733 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 2: opened the screenshots to read better. I'm glad I did, 734 00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:47,319 Speaker 2: and I don't even regret it anymore because what I 735 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 2: saw were multiple messages from my mother, cruel ones. The 736 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,839 Speaker 2: timestamps weren't all from the same day, so I don't 737 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,840 Speaker 2: know how long this has been happening. A week longer, 738 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,560 Speaker 2: no idea. Some of the messages my mom sent included 739 00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:04,720 Speaker 2: maybe he hasn't proposed because you haven't given him a child. 740 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:08,920 Speaker 2: Men don't marry placeholders. This one makes me see red. 741 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:12,480 Speaker 2: I can't even imagine how my baby felt. Others included 742 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 2: if you stop dressing like a teenage boy and put 743 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,560 Speaker 2: on some makeup, maybe he'd see you as a wife 744 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 2: instead of one of his little friends. You're keeping him 745 00:35:20,160 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 2: from his family he used to visit for clarity. I'm 746 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:26,400 Speaker 2: the one who pulled back because of her behavior towards 747 00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:29,040 Speaker 2: one of my sisters. Nothing to do with my girlfriend. 748 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:32,720 Speaker 2: Additional messages were you think you're so special, you're lucky. 749 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 2: He even brought you home. Girls like you don't get 750 00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 2: commitment from men like him. You're not good enough for 751 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:42,000 Speaker 2: the life he deserves. Reading them made my stomach drop. 752 00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 2: They were hateful and completely false. My girlfriend didn't tell 753 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 2: me about any of them and has just been carrying 754 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:52,640 Speaker 2: this alone, smiling and laughing with me all while this 755 00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 2: garbage was sitting in the back of her mind. My 756 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,480 Speaker 2: girlfriend avoids conflict and hates upsetting anyone. 757 00:35:58,880 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 4: I get it. 758 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,279 Speaker 2: It's easier to talk to a friend first, and my 759 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,080 Speaker 2: mom can be intense. She probably didn't want to put 760 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,920 Speaker 2: me in a position where it looked like choosing sides. 761 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,719 Speaker 2: But I've chosen and it's not her. I'm angry with 762 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:16,040 Speaker 2: I'm furious at my mother. I'm exhausted by this. She 763 00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,920 Speaker 2: knows how much my girlfriend means to me. She hears 764 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:22,480 Speaker 2: me talk about her constantly. I really thought she might 765 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,160 Speaker 2: actually be happy for me. At the same time, I 766 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,520 Speaker 2: don't want to make this harder on my girlfriend or 767 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:31,520 Speaker 2: make her feel exposed. Here's where I need advice. Do 768 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:34,320 Speaker 2: I tell my girlfriend gently that I saw the messages, 769 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,000 Speaker 2: that I'm on her side, and that she doesn't need 770 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 2: to shield me from my own mother, or do I 771 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:43,080 Speaker 2: handle my mother privately and not bring it up unless 772 00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,880 Speaker 2: my girlfriend does. I just want her to feel safe 773 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:48,680 Speaker 2: and supported, and it makes me sick that she's been 774 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:52,359 Speaker 2: dealing with this alone. I'm actually sick watching her make 775 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:56,040 Speaker 2: breakfast while just feeling helpless. And we have some comments, 776 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,319 Speaker 2: but what what is your advice there? What would you do? 777 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,759 Speaker 4: I think I would bring it up to girlfriend just 778 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,279 Speaker 4: because I feel like it is their relationship and like 779 00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:09,839 Speaker 4: whatever makes her feel more comfortable. If she wants to 780 00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:13,000 Speaker 4: ignore it, you know, that's on her. But I feel 781 00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:17,279 Speaker 4: like I was, you know, in that position, Like I like, 782 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,720 Speaker 4: if I was the guy in this, if I was opee, 783 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,400 Speaker 4: I would have a talk with my mom like privately 784 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,040 Speaker 4: and be like, what is wrong with you? You know? So 785 00:37:25,160 --> 00:37:27,440 Speaker 4: I would I would bring it up to girlfriend like 786 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:30,319 Speaker 4: be like, hey, just so you know, I know about 787 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,879 Speaker 4: this and I know what's going on. You know, how 788 00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:34,920 Speaker 4: would you like to deal with it? Do you want 789 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,080 Speaker 4: to deal with it? Whatever? Blah blah blah, and whatever 790 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,319 Speaker 4: she says, you know, go along with it whatever. But 791 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,359 Speaker 4: I would still have like a talk with my mom, 792 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 4: be like, yeah, what is wrong? 793 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,200 Speaker 2: I think you kind of have to start with girlfriend 794 00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:48,400 Speaker 2: because I think Mom's immediately texting girlfriends. 795 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 4: Oh for sure, we have some of the comments. 796 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,840 Speaker 2: Biopepe I'm in this like in between of shock and rage, 797 00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:56,640 Speaker 2: and I took a walk, realized I can't function, and 798 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:57,520 Speaker 2: made this post. 799 00:37:57,719 --> 00:37:59,319 Speaker 4: I think this is just it for me. 800 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,399 Speaker 2: I'll be talking to my girlfriend today and I have 801 00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 2: to figure out how to approach this. I'm upset, but 802 00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,319 Speaker 2: I can't imagine how upset my girlfriend has been and 803 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,480 Speaker 2: for how long. All I know is that when me 804 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,960 Speaker 2: and my girlfriend do get married, I don't want my 805 00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:16,520 Speaker 2: mother there. I'm the last of her kids that put 806 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,839 Speaker 2: up with her as her son. I thought I had 807 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,640 Speaker 2: a duty, but this is just a line that has 808 00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:26,120 Speaker 2: been triple crossed behind my back. And knowing my girlfriend, 809 00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 2: she's going to figure out a way to forgive and forget, 810 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,760 Speaker 2: but I won't. I can't. I feel like a dumb 811 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,600 Speaker 2: butt sitting on the curb looking at all these replies. 812 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,239 Speaker 2: But thank you, that seems to be the consensus. Off 813 00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,680 Speaker 2: to my girlfriend first. I just need to figure out 814 00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:41,680 Speaker 2: a way to bring this up to her. I just 815 00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,080 Speaker 2: hate the timing. You know, she's grading things and preparing 816 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,400 Speaker 2: for finals, and I don't know I hate that this 817 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,440 Speaker 2: is something she's been going through by herself, when she 818 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 2: already deals with so dang much. I hate my mom 819 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,520 Speaker 2: so much right now. This is insane. I don't know 820 00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,120 Speaker 2: how I'd face her at all without blowing up. I'm 821 00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,279 Speaker 2: leaning terribly to no contact at the moment. And yeah, 822 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 2: I will be talking to my girlfriend. Someone mentioned I 823 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,520 Speaker 2: should probably cool off first. I will be talking to 824 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:09,719 Speaker 2: my girlfriend once I try to cool it. I don't 825 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,040 Speaker 2: want to approach to this wrong and with anger in 826 00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:14,719 Speaker 2: my heart, because what if she thinks that anger's directed 827 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:17,680 Speaker 2: at her in any way? Okay, so this got overwhelming 828 00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,520 Speaker 2: really quick. I appreciate everyone's replies and their advice. Truly, 829 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,279 Speaker 2: I thought only like twenty people would be here. But 830 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,919 Speaker 2: I'm going to walk away from my phone. Probably wasn't 831 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:30,160 Speaker 2: even the healthy move to begin with seeking advice from strangers, 832 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,600 Speaker 2: but I just wanted to get out of my head 833 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,480 Speaker 2: and at least find options that weren't call my mom 834 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,240 Speaker 2: and tell her to go to Heck. I'll be swimming 835 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:39,240 Speaker 2: in a bit, but I need to step away. Plus 836 00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,320 Speaker 2: breakfast is ready. Thank you all, Thank you so much, 837 00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:44,920 Speaker 2: and we have an update two days later after he 838 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,000 Speaker 2: talks with his girlfriend. 839 00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,440 Speaker 4: Oh, I kind of just want to get into it. 840 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,960 Speaker 2: Two days later, I talked to my girlfriend the same 841 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,759 Speaker 2: night that I made that original posts. We're working through 842 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,000 Speaker 2: everything together right now and things are headed in a 843 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,600 Speaker 2: good direction. I'm not ready to I write the full 844 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,240 Speaker 2: update yet, since there's a lot to sort out privately 845 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:05,440 Speaker 2: before I come back with all of the details. But 846 00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:07,319 Speaker 2: I did want to say something to the people who 847 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,600 Speaker 2: reached out when I was clearly not in the best 848 00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 2: headspace for transparency. I told my girlfriend exactly what happened 849 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,920 Speaker 2: that I panicked, had what I'm pretty sure was some 850 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:19,719 Speaker 2: kind of anxiety attack, and ended up here on Big 851 00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:23,680 Speaker 2: Beautiful Reddit asking a question that, in hindsight, had a 852 00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:27,720 Speaker 2: pretty obvious answer. Not my finest hour, considering I'm usually, 853 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,239 Speaker 2: you know, the calm one between us, I guess I 854 00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,040 Speaker 2: was bound to pop at some point. I even ugly 855 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,640 Speaker 2: cried on the side of the road. I also showed 856 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,200 Speaker 2: her this account, and she looked at me and the 857 00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,600 Speaker 2: comments and up votes and hit me with that you 858 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:43,640 Speaker 2: wish your actual account got this much engagement. Huh destroyed 859 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:44,880 Speaker 2: me in seconds. 860 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:46,160 Speaker 4: But so very accurate. 861 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,640 Speaker 2: A lot has happened since, and some of it was 862 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:51,360 Speaker 2: super eye opening. Turns out my mom has a pattern 863 00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,040 Speaker 2: of this behavior. After my girlfriend and I talked, I 864 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,840 Speaker 2: reached out to my siblings and my younger brother opened 865 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,520 Speaker 2: up and told me she did the same thing to 866 00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:04,799 Speaker 2: his new wife years ago. Okay, they both moved far 867 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:07,320 Speaker 2: away and kept their distance because of it. That was 868 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:10,960 Speaker 2: a hard thing to hear, but it explains so much. Also, 869 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,799 Speaker 2: my girlfriend is super close with my siblings too, so 870 00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:15,080 Speaker 2: she knows. She knows. 871 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:15,640 Speaker 4: Anyway. 872 00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,960 Speaker 2: To sum it all up real quick, my girlfriend and 873 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:21,200 Speaker 2: I are solid. We're talking, we're being honest, and we're 874 00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:23,720 Speaker 2: on the same team. I'm taking care of the rest. 875 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,520 Speaker 2: I just wanted people to know things are okay and 876 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,360 Speaker 2: we're moving forward, and I appreciate a lot of you. 877 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,880 Speaker 2: I'm too anxious to open up any of the comments 878 00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,279 Speaker 2: on the original post. Some of y'all are brutal, but real. 879 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:39,720 Speaker 2: My girlfriend has been peeking for me though. Happy holidays, everyone, 880 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:42,759 Speaker 2: stay safe. We have some comments by Opie. After her 881 00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:45,520 Speaker 2: most recent comment, I've realized she might just have a 882 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,360 Speaker 2: superiority complex of sorts. Either way, this is totally crazy 883 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:52,319 Speaker 2: to me. The amount of people who can't fathom either. 884 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 2: Folks who don't want to get married or haven't after 885 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,040 Speaker 2: a certain amount of time, like there's a time limit 886 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:00,880 Speaker 2: of sorts. Well, I guess I get the time. People 887 00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,480 Speaker 2: don't live for long and things happen. But even if 888 00:42:03,560 --> 00:42:06,040 Speaker 2: I passed or something before we get married, there will 889 00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:09,279 Speaker 2: be plenty of more proof out there pertaining to my 890 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,360 Speaker 2: love for my girlfriend than just a ring and some papers. 891 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,239 Speaker 2: It seems to me that a lot of people think 892 00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:16,839 Speaker 2: of marriage as some sort of end goal anyway, and 893 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,640 Speaker 2: then the love just stops because they race to that peak, 894 00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,200 Speaker 2: you know. At least that's what I've seen and taken 895 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:24,640 Speaker 2: note of. I wonder how the same people would react 896 00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:27,120 Speaker 2: once they find out my girlfriend doesn't want a diamond 897 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,800 Speaker 2: ring due to blood diamonds, and she won't be wearing 898 00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,360 Speaker 2: a white dress because of its origin too. Also, she 899 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:35,920 Speaker 2: will probably be wearing a suit. I might effing wear 900 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,600 Speaker 2: a dress than what people as of now. I've told 901 00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,520 Speaker 2: my mother to go e f herself, and that the 902 00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:43,719 Speaker 2: grandkids she already has don't even like her. And on 903 00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,440 Speaker 2: top of not wanting kids personally, if me and my 904 00:42:46,480 --> 00:42:49,520 Speaker 2: girlfriend were to have any, they would not be coming 905 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,879 Speaker 2: anywhere near her and her crappy behavior. Also, the day 906 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:54,960 Speaker 2: there is a wedding. I don't even want her in 907 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,799 Speaker 2: the same dang state. I've spoken to my girlfriend. I 908 00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,400 Speaker 2: did not sugarcoat it, told her I I saw the 909 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,920 Speaker 2: screenshots and read everything. She knows. I'm on her side, 910 00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,480 Speaker 2: and well, it seems my mother lost her last kid. Also, 911 00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:10,640 Speaker 2: we've all blocked her, all of us. I feel sad 912 00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,840 Speaker 2: knowing that this is the life she cultivated for herself, 913 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:16,799 Speaker 2: but I'm happy in knowing that moving forward, me and 914 00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:20,080 Speaker 2: my girlfriend have gotten closer, so have me and my siblings. 915 00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:22,399 Speaker 2: I'm still trying to accept that I have a mom 916 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,160 Speaker 2: but don't have a mom, if that makes sense. But 917 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,400 Speaker 2: I've got good people in my life who are helping 918 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,760 Speaker 2: me through that. Thank you again, and have a happy holiday. 919 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:34,040 Speaker 2: Well I'm glad it worked out. I mean, not for mom, 920 00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:35,760 Speaker 2: but she seems like a nightmare anyway. 921 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:37,320 Speaker 4: So that's the end of that story. 922 00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:38,319 Speaker 2: Oh we got another one. 923 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:42,480 Speaker 4: My sister's boyfriend shushed me while watching a movie, so 924 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:43,440 Speaker 4: I went off on him. 925 00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:45,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't talk during a movie, dude. 926 00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:49,440 Speaker 4: My sister's boyfriend, Derek, has been staying at our house 927 00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,240 Speaker 4: since March. It has honestly been one of the worst 928 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,840 Speaker 4: parts of never being able to leave the house. I 929 00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,120 Speaker 4: didn't even meet him before my parents allowed him to 930 00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,480 Speaker 4: stay with us. They met him when they visited her 931 00:43:59,560 --> 00:44:02,759 Speaker 4: at Call. By the way, this comes from Shush movie, 932 00:44:03,800 --> 00:44:05,759 Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 933 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:09,320 Speaker 4: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah on Carly, 934 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 4: and we are here to give you some good advice Goofley, 935 00:44:12,239 --> 00:44:14,399 Speaker 4: but we don't have all the answers. We would only 936 00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:16,120 Speaker 4: tell you what we would do in this situation, but 937 00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:18,040 Speaker 4: we would love to know what you would do in 938 00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:22,160 Speaker 4: the comments. He's really grating, always thinking he's the smartest 939 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,759 Speaker 4: person in the room, and is honestly just annoying. He 940 00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,799 Speaker 4: is not polite, never offers to do any chores or 941 00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:31,600 Speaker 4: dishes or anything. Just a complete loser. I don't get 942 00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,879 Speaker 4: what my sister sees in him. Usually when I would 943 00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:35,839 Speaker 4: watch something with my mom and dad, we would all 944 00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:38,520 Speaker 4: kind of make comments about what was happening or whatever. 945 00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,880 Speaker 4: But early on during his stay, Derek said this was 946 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:45,840 Speaker 4: too distracting and he needed to focus. I vented a 947 00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,759 Speaker 4: little to my mom about Derek, including his need for 948 00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:52,200 Speaker 4: passed away silence when watching TV, and she said that 949 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:55,000 Speaker 4: she understood that it was frustrating, but that we needed 950 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:57,479 Speaker 4: to make him comfortable as a guest. I was fine 951 00:44:57,480 --> 00:45:00,719 Speaker 4: with this until last night. We were watching Allie's Game 952 00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,200 Speaker 4: and I was enjoying it. Maybe an hour in, during 953 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,480 Speaker 4: a transition from one scene to another, I asked my 954 00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,720 Speaker 4: dad to pause it so I could go to the bathroom. 955 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:10,960 Speaker 4: Immediately after, Derek looked at me, put his finger over 956 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:14,960 Speaker 4: his mouth, and literally loudly shushed me like I was 957 00:45:15,000 --> 00:45:18,080 Speaker 4: a two year old for just asking to pause the movie. 958 00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,200 Speaker 4: I got beyond pissed off and was like, ef this, 959 00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,080 Speaker 4: I'm not watching the movie with him. I just effing 960 00:45:24,239 --> 00:45:27,359 Speaker 4: can't do it. Maybe it wasn't exactly that. I don't 961 00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:30,320 Speaker 4: remember because I was so angry, but it was something 962 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:34,040 Speaker 4: like that. I didn't personally insult him, though. My mom 963 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,480 Speaker 4: called after me, and I just went to the bathroom 964 00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,719 Speaker 4: and then to my room. My sister texted me that 965 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,840 Speaker 4: I was behaving like an effing witch, and I texted 966 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:45,200 Speaker 4: her back that her boyfriend was an effing tool. My 967 00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:47,279 Speaker 4: mom came into my room later and said that she 968 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:49,239 Speaker 4: understood why I felt the way I felt, but that 969 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,000 Speaker 4: I needed to apologize to Derek. I said, I wouldn't 970 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:54,560 Speaker 4: because I don't think I did anything wrong anyway. Now 971 00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:57,360 Speaker 4: I'm in bed and dreading facing them, so I probably 972 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,520 Speaker 4: won't leave my room all day. I need to know, 973 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,400 Speaker 4: am I the a hole here? And to your ages 974 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:05,160 Speaker 4: are missing, but you have a right to your views. 975 00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:09,080 Speaker 4: Op response. I didn't know I had to include ages. Sorry, 976 00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,480 Speaker 4: I'm sixteen and my sister and her boyfriend are both twenty. 977 00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,080 Speaker 2: Okay, I can totally see a sixteen year old being 978 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,960 Speaker 2: like this dude comes into my house and like, yeah, 979 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:19,480 Speaker 2: he's changing the way everything's being kind of thing, and 980 00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,920 Speaker 2: it's like yeah, like no one's gonna want that. 981 00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:25,200 Speaker 4: Another comment says, so let me get this straight. Or 982 00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:27,800 Speaker 4: he gets free room and board, doesn't lift a finger 983 00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:30,560 Speaker 4: to help and is a no at all arrogant type 984 00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,720 Speaker 4: and tells you to shut up in your own home, 985 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,640 Speaker 4: and you're supposed to do what he wants and apologize 986 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,960 Speaker 4: when he's an a hole to you. Op responds exactly, 987 00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,480 Speaker 4: And I really don't understand why my mom is taking 988 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:44,560 Speaker 4: his side when I know for a fact that she 989 00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:48,160 Speaker 4: finds him just as annoying as I do. Another person responds, 990 00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:51,240 Speaker 4: you should apologize, Derek. I am sorry that you think 991 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,680 Speaker 4: you have the right to shush me in my own home. 992 00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:57,080 Speaker 4: I am sorry that you were never taught the manners 993 00:46:57,120 --> 00:46:59,560 Speaker 4: to treat others with basic respect. I am sorry you 994 00:46:59,600 --> 00:47:02,239 Speaker 4: were never taught to contribute and are doomed to a 995 00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:06,320 Speaker 4: life of being a drain on others. Another common says, 996 00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,480 Speaker 4: not the a hole. So many people don't seem to 997 00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,719 Speaker 4: understand that respect is a two way street. Not to 998 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,919 Speaker 4: mention when you're living for free in someone else's home. 999 00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,439 Speaker 4: If you're not actually going to be a decent enough 1000 00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:19,640 Speaker 4: person to help around the house, the least you can 1001 00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:23,040 Speaker 4: do is step on as little toes as possible. I'm 1002 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,000 Speaker 4: not sure why he's living with you to begin with. 1003 00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:27,719 Speaker 4: If living at his own place is a possibility pandemic, 1004 00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:30,719 Speaker 4: isn't the time to find out whether these sort of 1005 00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:34,040 Speaker 4: living dynamics work if it's avoidable, op responds when they're 1006 00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,600 Speaker 4: college closed. My sister refused to come home without him, 1007 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 4: so my mom let her bring him. I wanted her 1008 00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:42,000 Speaker 4: home at that time, too, so I was okay with it, 1009 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:44,839 Speaker 4: but obviously I didn't know how effing terrible it would be. 1010 00:47:45,000 --> 00:47:47,800 Speaker 4: This situation isn't going to end until he leaves, because 1011 00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,719 Speaker 4: there is no way I'll ever apologize to anyone. This 1012 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,279 Speaker 4: comment is downvoted. How about you just suck it up 1013 00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:55,880 Speaker 4: for your mother's sake, OHP responds, I sucked it up 1014 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,319 Speaker 4: for two months and I'm done. His mom isn't an 1015 00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:01,160 Speaker 4: essential worker, so it's not like they would be going 1016 00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:04,280 Speaker 4: someplace that's not safe. If they're careful during the stops 1017 00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:06,520 Speaker 4: on the drive, they'll be fine. But I'm pretty positive 1018 00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,040 Speaker 4: my sister's threats are just threats, and if they're not 1019 00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:10,040 Speaker 4: just threats. 1020 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:10,520 Speaker 3: That's cool too. 1021 00:48:10,640 --> 00:48:14,400 Speaker 4: Either way, I'm not apologizing. Update. I didn't apologize, and 1022 00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:16,799 Speaker 4: things got worse. A couple of hours ago, I went 1023 00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,960 Speaker 4: to get breakfast and saw Derek in the hallway. I 1024 00:48:19,040 --> 00:48:20,759 Speaker 4: kind of glared at him, and he went back into 1025 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,160 Speaker 4: my sister's room. My sister then came out and started 1026 00:48:23,239 --> 00:48:25,920 Speaker 4: yelling at me about how I'm making him uncomfortable. I 1027 00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:29,279 Speaker 4: basically told her everything I said here about him being 1028 00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,960 Speaker 4: lazy and rude. My mom and dad hurt us yelling 1029 00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:35,360 Speaker 4: and came down, and my sister threatened that she and 1030 00:48:35,440 --> 00:48:37,600 Speaker 4: him would leave to go to his mom's house, which 1031 00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:39,959 Speaker 4: is a long drive away. I told her to leave, 1032 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,040 Speaker 4: and my mom started crying. My dad told us both 1033 00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:45,439 Speaker 4: to shut the f up, and now I'm in my room. 1034 00:48:45,640 --> 00:48:48,600 Speaker 4: Great morning so far. I hope she effing leaves. Thanks 1035 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:51,360 Speaker 4: for all the comments. I appreciate the majority of people 1036 00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,240 Speaker 4: saying I'm not the a hole my sister told my mom, 1037 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,520 Speaker 4: who told me or I know very mature, that if 1038 00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,880 Speaker 4: I don't apologize, they'll leave. This weekend, my mom practically 1039 00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,799 Speaker 4: begged me to apologize, and my dad told me if 1040 00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,840 Speaker 4: I didn't apologize, I would be in big trouble. But 1041 00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:10,120 Speaker 4: I'm not threatened by that at all, because what the 1042 00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:13,319 Speaker 4: F is he going to do round me? Lol? I'm 1043 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:16,479 Speaker 4: never going to apologize. I'm so mad at my parents 1044 00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:19,759 Speaker 4: for falling from my sister's obvious manipulative BS. If she 1045 00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:22,320 Speaker 4: wants to leave, she should just effing do it instead 1046 00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:25,160 Speaker 4: of just threatening to do it. There's another update three 1047 00:49:25,239 --> 00:49:25,800 Speaker 4: days later. 1048 00:49:25,920 --> 00:49:29,000 Speaker 2: My god, I don't even know because I'm like, at 1049 00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:31,399 Speaker 2: some point, like it is a good lesson to learn 1050 00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:33,440 Speaker 2: that sometimes you just have to suck it up and 1051 00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:36,520 Speaker 2: apologize for something that you probably really didn't do wrong 1052 00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:38,960 Speaker 2: just to keep peace. On the other hand, though, a 1053 00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:41,160 Speaker 2: lot of the times, I'm like, no, you should learn 1054 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,960 Speaker 2: to like stand your ground. Yeah, so it's like such 1055 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,200 Speaker 2: a tricky thing where it's like, maybe do it just 1056 00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:48,640 Speaker 2: to help your mom, but then just like distance yourself 1057 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,759 Speaker 2: from them, which I was hard when you're locked in 1058 00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:51,680 Speaker 2: a house with them. 1059 00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:53,600 Speaker 4: I don't know if anyone will read this, but my 1060 00:49:53,680 --> 00:49:57,000 Speaker 4: sister and Derek left early this morning. Derek and I 1061 00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:00,040 Speaker 4: didn't talk directly since the night everything started. My my 1062 00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:03,120 Speaker 4: sister was like, are you really not going to apologize? 1063 00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:04,960 Speaker 4: And I said that I had nothing to be sorry 1064 00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:07,640 Speaker 4: for and that obviously it was her choice whether to 1065 00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:10,640 Speaker 4: leave or stay. She said that Derek didn't want to 1066 00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:14,239 Speaker 4: walk on eggshells around me, and I said that that 1067 00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,719 Speaker 4: was what I was doing for two months. Yeah, so 1068 00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,239 Speaker 4: I didn't have much sympathy. She was pissed at that. 1069 00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:22,759 Speaker 4: My mom and dad both tried to guilt me into apologizing. 1070 00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:25,200 Speaker 4: My mom even said that if my sister got sick 1071 00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:28,239 Speaker 4: after leaving, it would be my fault. But again, my 1072 00:50:28,360 --> 00:50:32,040 Speaker 4: sister is choosing to leave, so it can't be my fault. 1073 00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,640 Speaker 4: I agree, Opie, she's choosing to leave because she feels uncomfortable, 1074 00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:39,000 Speaker 4: you know, and that's whatever, you know, that's her choice. 1075 00:50:39,080 --> 00:50:41,640 Speaker 4: My dad was like, just do it for your mom, 1076 00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,040 Speaker 4: and I was like, no, if Derek wants to talk 1077 00:50:44,080 --> 00:50:46,319 Speaker 4: about it, I'm fine with that, but I'm not going 1078 00:50:46,320 --> 00:50:49,120 Speaker 4: to apologize. So they left. Honestly, I'm surprised that my 1079 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,799 Speaker 4: sister actually followed through because usually she's all talk. But 1080 00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:54,359 Speaker 4: I'm happy with it. My mom was crying all day 1081 00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:57,040 Speaker 4: and she's not talking to me. I feel bad for her, 1082 00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,799 Speaker 4: but I really just couldn't do it anymore. Not really 1083 00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,960 Speaker 4: a happy ending, but whatever. And there are some comments. 1084 00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,319 Speaker 4: Comment number one says, I know it's way past with 1085 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,680 Speaker 4: the post, but I hope you are doing well. I'm 1086 00:51:08,680 --> 00:51:10,920 Speaker 4: glad you stood your ground and you were right to 1087 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:14,040 Speaker 4: say you would talk things out with Derek only as 1088 00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,040 Speaker 4: he was the source of the tension. Stay strong. Another 1089 00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:20,719 Speaker 4: person commented said, not the A hole. Geez, what a 1090 00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:24,360 Speaker 4: garbage family your parents are, especially the a hole for 1091 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:28,400 Speaker 4: showing partial treatment towards your sister. Seriously, your dad telling 1092 00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,640 Speaker 4: you to just shut the f up, and your mom 1093 00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:33,640 Speaker 4: crying and begging you to apologize to appease your sister 1094 00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:37,319 Speaker 4: and her punk boyfriend. Wow, what great parenting skills they have, 1095 00:51:37,520 --> 00:51:40,759 Speaker 4: especially since your sister hooked up with this guy. I'd 1096 00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,000 Speaker 4: say that sooner or later you can move out as 1097 00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:45,520 Speaker 4: well and reduce contact with them for the time being, 1098 00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:48,239 Speaker 4: especially if your mom isn't even talking to you. I'd 1099 00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:50,359 Speaker 4: like an update as to what happens next should your 1100 00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:51,319 Speaker 4: mom decide. 1101 00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,360 Speaker 2: To talk to you. Yeah. I think that'll pass with 1102 00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:53,920 Speaker 2: the parents. 1103 00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:54,240 Speaker 4: Yeah. 1104 00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:56,760 Speaker 2: Once pandemic stress, I think it's something you can revisit. 1105 00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,360 Speaker 2: You can be like, hey, this is how I felt 1106 00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:00,560 Speaker 2: about this. Can we talk about how you ignored me? 1107 00:52:01,040 --> 00:52:01,320 Speaker 4: Yeah? 1108 00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,840 Speaker 2: But I think we need tensions to ease and maybe 1109 00:52:03,880 --> 00:52:05,799 Speaker 2: the pandemic to lift a little bit. 1110 00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:09,160 Speaker 4: Yeah. I think that Just there's so much tension in 1111 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:13,239 Speaker 4: that house, and even though the sister has removed herself, 1112 00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:15,879 Speaker 4: there's still tension between you and your parents, and it's like, 1113 00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:16,880 Speaker 4: what am I supposed to do? 1114 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,160 Speaker 2: Yeah? I feel like your parents will come around, though. 1115 00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,479 Speaker 4: Yeah, I think your parents will come around. Give them time. 1116 00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:23,359 Speaker 4: I feel like the stakes are really high right now, 1117 00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:27,160 Speaker 4: and everything just happens so quick, and like everyone's feelings 1118 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,080 Speaker 4: are like, you know, bursting. So I just feel like, 1119 00:52:30,160 --> 00:52:32,399 Speaker 4: you know, give it time, let things settle, and then 1120 00:52:32,480 --> 00:52:34,600 Speaker 4: you can revisit it and be like, Okay, now I 1121 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,360 Speaker 4: have a clear mind, you know. Instead of being like frustrated, 1122 00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:42,319 Speaker 4: angry whatever like it's I think, Opie, I don't think 1123 00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:44,480 Speaker 4: that you are the a hole. I think your sister 1124 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:47,600 Speaker 4: and her boyfriend are the a hole. Your parents are 1125 00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:49,640 Speaker 4: just kind of like they want to keep the peace, 1126 00:52:49,719 --> 00:52:51,440 Speaker 4: but not in the right way. I think they're doing 1127 00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,840 Speaker 4: it in the wrong way. So I hope it worked 1128 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:57,240 Speaker 4: out though. But that's the end of the story. When 1129 00:52:57,480 --> 00:52:58,640 Speaker 4: we got another one coming right. 1130 00:52:58,600 --> 00:53:01,120 Speaker 3: Up, Hey, keon here, we're going to get back to 1131 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,440 Speaker 3: the stories. But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 1132 00:53:04,160 --> 00:53:07,680 Speaker 2: My father keeps buying me things I can't use and 1133 00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:09,120 Speaker 2: it's stressing me out. 1134 00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:11,399 Speaker 4: Oh daddy, bumat things I want. 1135 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:15,320 Speaker 2: Please. So for some short backstory, I live in rural 1136 00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,680 Speaker 2: New South Wales in Australia. I have around one point 1137 00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:21,560 Speaker 2: five acres of land and not much motivation to do 1138 00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:25,840 Speaker 2: anything other than watch my chickens being chickens and raising chickens. 1139 00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:28,600 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from the Hungry slug and 1140 00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,400 Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 1141 00:53:30,440 --> 00:53:33,960 Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Carly and I'm Savannah, 1142 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,279 Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice. Goofiley, but we 1143 00:53:36,360 --> 00:53:38,719 Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we 1144 00:53:38,760 --> 00:53:40,160 Speaker 2: would do, so let us know what you would do 1145 00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:42,880 Speaker 2: in the comments. My father has pushed me into getting 1146 00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:47,439 Speaker 2: another rain water tank, a rapid past twenty twenty five 1147 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:51,400 Speaker 2: hundred liter tank. Well. I currently have two of them already. 1148 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:53,120 Speaker 2: We never get enough rain to fill the tanks I 1149 00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:56,640 Speaker 2: already have installed. I have three kids and they use 1150 00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:59,359 Speaker 2: a fair bit of water for showers and toilets. I've 1151 00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:02,560 Speaker 2: told them that I have less than zero interest in 1152 00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:06,000 Speaker 2: installing this third tank because I cannot get enough rain 1153 00:54:06,040 --> 00:54:06,680 Speaker 2: to fill what. 1154 00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:07,239 Speaker 4: I already have. 1155 00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:10,640 Speaker 2: As such, I must buy loads of water and have 1156 00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:14,400 Speaker 2: it delivered at two hundred and sixty dollars for around 1157 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:18,200 Speaker 2: twelve thousand liters. He bought and had it delivered after 1158 00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,319 Speaker 2: trying to basically upsell the idea of it to me. 1159 00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:25,000 Speaker 2: He also recently bought, paid for, and had delivered a 1160 00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:29,520 Speaker 2: black color bond lawn locker, which I also have less 1161 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:33,000 Speaker 2: than zero interest in in any form. Making form work 1162 00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:36,400 Speaker 2: and pouring a slab is something I avoid, like the plague. 1163 00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:38,680 Speaker 2: I have no ability to do that sort of job 1164 00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:42,160 Speaker 2: in any form of acceptable manner. I love my father, 1165 00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:44,840 Speaker 2: but he just doesn't seem to ever listen when I 1166 00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,839 Speaker 2: say no, even when I blow up because I am 1167 00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:51,400 Speaker 2: at a boiling point of stress and frustration. I don't 1168 00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:54,839 Speaker 2: want free handouts, especially when it's something I really don't 1169 00:54:54,880 --> 00:54:57,360 Speaker 2: want or need. As such, I end up feeling like 1170 00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,480 Speaker 2: an ungrateful person. So now I have an un wanted 1171 00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:04,080 Speaker 2: shed in boxes outside, getting wet from the rain, and 1172 00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:07,520 Speaker 2: the box is pecked apart by my chickens, ducks, and sheep. 1173 00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:10,439 Speaker 2: A water tank sits on its side, waiting to blow 1174 00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,320 Speaker 2: away in a strong wind. If not for being anchored down. 1175 00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,120 Speaker 2: I have a father who doesn't seem to listen and 1176 00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:19,239 Speaker 2: seems to expect me to change my mind when I 1177 00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:22,160 Speaker 2: am in a better mood, without realizing that my mind 1178 00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:24,799 Speaker 2: is not in a bad mood. I am just frustrated 1179 00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:28,120 Speaker 2: that he doesn't comprehend my lack of interest, and that 1180 00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,600 Speaker 2: when I say no, it isn't a reason to try 1181 00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,520 Speaker 2: and pressure me into saying yes. I really don't want 1182 00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,759 Speaker 2: to try and set these two things up, nor do 1183 00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:38,160 Speaker 2: I want them in my yard. I have enough stuff 1184 00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:40,959 Speaker 2: taking up space as it is already. Sure, it could 1185 00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:43,879 Speaker 2: potentially add value to my property, but it is an 1186 00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:47,280 Speaker 2: old fibro house with asbestos in some of the original 1187 00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,719 Speaker 2: wall linings. I don't want to touch any part of 1188 00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:52,560 Speaker 2: it for obvious reasons. I might also add that I 1189 00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:55,520 Speaker 2: have no feelings of attachment to this house. It's just 1190 00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,799 Speaker 2: a place to live. I'm not trying to improve it 1191 00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,680 Speaker 2: beyond what my immediate needs are. I don't have that 1192 00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,719 Speaker 2: sort of money or motivation. I can barely make ends 1193 00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:06,719 Speaker 2: meet as it is now. So am I overly full 1194 00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:10,600 Speaker 2: of myself? Ungrateful in a hole or something else? I 1195 00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:12,600 Speaker 2: don't know, but I don't have a good way to 1196 00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,360 Speaker 2: rationalize this all. And we have some comments. Not the 1197 00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:18,080 Speaker 2: A hole, return them and keep the money, or sell 1198 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:20,319 Speaker 2: them and keep the money. Do not tell dad. Let 1199 00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:23,000 Speaker 2: him find out when they're gone. If Dad loses his mind, 1200 00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:25,680 Speaker 2: calmly remind him that you were clear about your wishes 1201 00:56:25,719 --> 00:56:29,400 Speaker 2: for your property. He wasted his money of his own volition. 1202 00:56:29,520 --> 00:56:32,560 Speaker 2: Commenter two, not the A hole, but stop accepting deliveries. 1203 00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:34,839 Speaker 2: I would give your father a chance to come get 1204 00:56:34,840 --> 00:56:37,480 Speaker 2: his purchases or they will be sold or given away. 1205 00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:40,759 Speaker 2: They are becoming hazardous and unslightly. He's going to be 1206 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,360 Speaker 2: annoyed either way, so you might as well set boundaries 1207 00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,879 Speaker 2: so you both aren't annoyed and your place doesn't look 1208 00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,800 Speaker 2: like a junkyard. Is there something that would be helpful 1209 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,680 Speaker 2: to have that you need? Maybe direct him in that direction. 1210 00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:55,600 Speaker 2: Comment three, not the a hole. Don't install them, contact 1211 00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:57,680 Speaker 2: the retailer he bought them from, and a range a 1212 00:56:57,719 --> 00:57:00,720 Speaker 2: return or cancelation. If they can't be right turned, find 1213 00:57:00,719 --> 00:57:03,080 Speaker 2: someone else to take them off your hands for free 1214 00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:06,200 Speaker 2: or for a profit. It sounds like your father steamrolls 1215 00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:08,680 Speaker 2: you into doing things for his own reason that are 1216 00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:11,600 Speaker 2: not all tied to what you actually want or need. 1217 00:57:11,719 --> 00:57:14,040 Speaker 2: Don't cave. I feel like he has to see you 1218 00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:17,560 Speaker 2: reject these things by returning or giving them away before 1219 00:57:17,640 --> 00:57:19,960 Speaker 2: he will think twice about doing this in the future. 1220 00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,080 Speaker 2: You are not an a hole for not wanting to 1221 00:57:22,120 --> 00:57:25,200 Speaker 2: be given expenses and projects as gifts. I worry that 1222 00:57:25,240 --> 00:57:28,240 Speaker 2: this type of forced gift giving is being weaponized to 1223 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,240 Speaker 2: gilt you into compliance or a sense of debt to 1224 00:57:31,280 --> 00:57:33,840 Speaker 2: your father. This isn't a generous gift on his part. 1225 00:57:34,000 --> 00:57:35,040 Speaker 2: And we have an update. 1226 00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:37,280 Speaker 4: I think if like say okay, instead of buying this 1227 00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:39,280 Speaker 4: like that you think that I need, why don't you 1228 00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:41,320 Speaker 4: do this? Like if you want to help out, just 1229 00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,360 Speaker 4: like buy this thing I will give you you know, 1230 00:57:43,360 --> 00:57:45,960 Speaker 4: the website or whatever, blah blah blah, Like I feel 1231 00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:47,280 Speaker 4: like point them in the right direction. 1232 00:57:47,360 --> 00:57:49,520 Speaker 2: You know, the problem with the water is that we 1233 00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:52,680 Speaker 2: never get enough rain. When we do, everyone else is 1234 00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:56,480 Speaker 2: getting flooded. Even then, my tanks never fill up to 1235 00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:59,560 Speaker 2: overflow my current tanks. I have two twenty two thousand, 1236 00:57:59,600 --> 00:58:03,640 Speaker 2: five hundundred leaders and one approximately eight thousand liters, hold 1237 00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:07,160 Speaker 2: around fifty thousand liters in total. I don't need an 1238 00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:10,040 Speaker 2: extra twenty two thousand, five hundred liter tank. What I 1239 00:58:10,120 --> 00:58:13,400 Speaker 2: need is a larger catchment area. That's the only way 1240 00:58:13,440 --> 00:58:16,280 Speaker 2: I can get more rain water to fill the existing tanks. 1241 00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:20,120 Speaker 2: The little kit shed he bought doesn't have gutters, and 1242 00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:23,600 Speaker 2: fitting them to it is not possible either. I live 1243 00:58:23,680 --> 00:58:27,200 Speaker 2: on a shoe string budget. All of my income, except 1244 00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:30,560 Speaker 2: for eighty dollars, goes into paying off my home loan. 1245 00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:34,000 Speaker 2: I also have physical limitations that prevent me from working, 1246 00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:37,440 Speaker 2: and as such I receive a disability support pension. 1247 00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:38,160 Speaker 4: With that in. 1248 00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:41,440 Speaker 2: Mind, I can't do half of these things anymore. I 1249 00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:44,720 Speaker 2: certainly can't stand up a twenty two thousand, five hundred 1250 00:58:44,760 --> 00:58:47,960 Speaker 2: liters water tank all by myself, and my dad has 1251 00:58:48,000 --> 00:58:50,760 Speaker 2: a damaged shoulder and nerve, so he can't do it either. 1252 00:58:50,920 --> 00:58:53,840 Speaker 2: I only shower every two to three days to avoid 1253 00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:56,919 Speaker 2: using too much water unless I really need one. Even 1254 00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:59,960 Speaker 2: then I keep it as short as possible. My partner 1255 00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:03,440 Speaker 2: and two eldest kids do the same. My youngest, eleven 1256 00:59:03,520 --> 00:59:05,840 Speaker 2: years old, does not seem to listen and will have 1257 00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:08,720 Speaker 2: multiple short showers in a day. I've done what I 1258 00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,480 Speaker 2: can to insist that my dad be more respectful and 1259 00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:13,919 Speaker 2: conscious with his amount of water use it. His mother 1260 00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:16,680 Speaker 2: doesn't help the situation much either. He is her golden 1261 00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,120 Speaker 2: child and gets away with a lot, which I have 1262 00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:22,360 Speaker 2: said isn't okay. That situation is like arguing with two 1263 00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:25,200 Speaker 2: spoiled children who try the poudy face or puppy dog 1264 00:59:25,240 --> 00:59:28,400 Speaker 2: eyes guilt trip type things. Speaking of my partner, I 1265 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:32,320 Speaker 2: love her dearly, but she can be very stressful. In 1266 00:59:32,360 --> 00:59:35,760 Speaker 2: the past, she brought home three puppies without asking my 1267 00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:38,600 Speaker 2: opinion or consent. I went outside and there they were. 1268 00:59:38,880 --> 00:59:41,240 Speaker 2: I asked why, and she said she got them because 1269 00:59:41,280 --> 00:59:43,840 Speaker 2: they were cute and thought the kids might like them, 1270 00:59:43,840 --> 00:59:46,560 Speaker 2: pulling the puppy dog eyes trick she does while smiling 1271 00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:48,400 Speaker 2: in a way that looks more like a smirk. The 1272 00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:51,000 Speaker 2: sensation I felt was intense. I told her to take 1273 00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:53,240 Speaker 2: them back from wherever she got them, from what she 1274 00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:56,120 Speaker 2: did only after I threaten to take them to the pound. 1275 00:59:56,320 --> 00:59:58,400 Speaker 2: I feel as though we are getting very off topic 1276 00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:02,120 Speaker 2: from the original problem. Yeah, which is uh, your dad 1277 01:00:02,280 --> 01:00:03,960 Speaker 2: giving you gifts you can't use. 1278 01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,120 Speaker 4: Now your wife is getting new puppies. 1279 01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,840 Speaker 2: She acted more distraught than the kids and cried like 1280 01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,680 Speaker 2: I had threatened to harm the puppies. She also wanted 1281 01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:13,959 Speaker 2: to buy sea horses and take them on a three 1282 01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,720 Speaker 2: hour drive home with nothing to put them into, nothing 1283 01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,600 Speaker 2: at all. Thankfully, the aquarium pet store owner helped her 1284 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:22,640 Speaker 2: understand how bad of an idea it was, and I 1285 01:00:22,720 --> 01:00:25,480 Speaker 2: talked her out of buying them. I take longer than 1286 01:00:25,800 --> 01:00:29,040 Speaker 2: some may consider normal to respond in conversations. I try 1287 01:00:29,120 --> 01:00:33,760 Speaker 2: to consider possibilities, practicalities, and certainties before jumping into action. 1288 01:00:34,040 --> 01:00:38,360 Speaker 2: Six p's Prior planning prevents piss poor performance is a 1289 01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:41,480 Speaker 2: motto I live by. Sometimes you had to fly by 1290 01:00:41,520 --> 01:00:43,480 Speaker 2: the seat of your pants. Though I know as a 1291 01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:46,920 Speaker 2: fact I lack the money and physical ability to install 1292 01:00:46,960 --> 01:00:50,440 Speaker 2: another foundation pad for another tank for the required corresponding 1293 01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:54,240 Speaker 2: retaining wall required to hold all of the less than 1294 01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:58,000 Speaker 2: or equal to five millimeter rock crusher does. The same 1295 01:00:58,040 --> 01:01:01,040 Speaker 2: goes for just setting up form work and digging peers 1296 01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:03,640 Speaker 2: and footing to pour a slab for the flimsy black 1297 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:06,800 Speaker 2: powder coated tin shed that can't even be fitted with gutters. 1298 01:01:06,880 --> 01:01:10,120 Speaker 2: I would also be below the inlet heights for any 1299 01:01:10,160 --> 01:01:12,280 Speaker 2: of the tanks I have anyway. My dad has also 1300 01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:14,680 Speaker 2: said to me, you can just jack up on the 1301 01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:17,440 Speaker 2: side of the plastic poly tank to suck the last 1302 01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,800 Speaker 2: of the water out so you can move them to 1303 01:01:19,920 --> 01:01:23,480 Speaker 2: level out their foundation pads. There are around five hundred 1304 01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:26,160 Speaker 2: liters of water below the outlet level of the tanks, 1305 01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:29,240 Speaker 2: so they always have weight in them to prevent blowing away. 1306 01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:32,520 Speaker 2: I personally think it is a very ill advised idea. 1307 01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:36,600 Speaker 2: This all sounds like a lot of work to install 1308 01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:38,240 Speaker 2: something you can't even use. 1309 01:01:38,400 --> 01:01:41,560 Speaker 4: This hurts my back just thinking about it. Yeah, sounds 1310 01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:43,640 Speaker 4: like a lot of farm issues. I thought we were 1311 01:01:43,680 --> 01:01:46,400 Speaker 4: just raising chickens, loving chickens and feed in the chicken. 1312 01:01:46,200 --> 01:01:49,439 Speaker 2: I think all Opie wants is his chickens. Yeah, wants 1313 01:01:49,440 --> 01:01:52,800 Speaker 2: their sea horses and puffies. Besides my tanks can't be 1314 01:01:52,840 --> 01:01:56,000 Speaker 2: connected in a daisy chain by their overflow outlets unless 1315 01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:58,960 Speaker 2: they are set up in a stepped configuration because their 1316 01:01:59,000 --> 01:02:01,080 Speaker 2: inlets are on the top opposite the tanks with the 1317 01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:04,440 Speaker 2: strain or screen. They could be connected via their outlets, 1318 01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,960 Speaker 2: in which case, as water is used, each tank lowers 1319 01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:11,040 Speaker 2: in a water level at the same time, remaining equal 1320 01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:13,600 Speaker 2: to each other in water height. That has problems when 1321 01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:16,240 Speaker 2: it rains, because the water entering the first tank would 1322 01:02:16,280 --> 01:02:19,000 Speaker 2: flow out of the bottom outlet and enter each other 1323 01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:22,400 Speaker 2: tank via their outlets, which is less than ideal as 1324 01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:25,240 Speaker 2: it stirs up sediments settled at the bottom of the tanks. 1325 01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:28,200 Speaker 2: Right now, I've had so little rain that the ground 1326 01:02:28,320 --> 01:02:32,680 Speaker 2: is cracking apart about thirty centimeters deep, cracks opening to 1327 01:02:32,760 --> 01:02:36,080 Speaker 2: around three centimeters wide. So far, So am I an 1328 01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:39,360 Speaker 2: a hole or not? Since I already know I am slow. No, 1329 01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:41,520 Speaker 2: you're not the a hole for not wanting gifts you 1330 01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,760 Speaker 2: can't use. I just don't even know how I couldn't even. 1331 01:02:44,680 --> 01:02:48,440 Speaker 4: Get like some farm things. I've never been on a farm. 1332 01:02:48,520 --> 01:02:50,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I kind of followed some of the 1333 01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:54,080 Speaker 2: explanations of his water tanks, but none to be able 1334 01:02:54,080 --> 01:02:55,840 Speaker 2: to be like oh, here's how to fix this, like 1335 01:02:55,920 --> 01:02:58,240 Speaker 2: I don't know, water tank. That's the end of that story.