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Speaker 1: If you're the boss at a company, how do you

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Speaker 1: reward your employees for all of the great work they

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Speaker 1: do every single year with salary raises, benefits? Nobody wants that.

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Speaker 1: How about a big promotion and a new corner office.

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Speaker 2: That kind of sounds like you.

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Speaker 1: Don't want that corner office. Once you can look out

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Speaker 1: the windows see all the poor people down on the street.

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Speaker 1: That's depressing you Just stay one of them. Yeah yeah, Now,

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Speaker 1: the best way to thank your employees for a job

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Speaker 1: well done is by offering them cheap, meaningless gifts and

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Speaker 1: incentives that nobody actually wants.

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Speaker 2: I can never decide if these lists make me happier,

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Speaker 2: you know, through our situation or saturn.

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Speaker 1: Let's just come out of the most ridiculous incentives that

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Speaker 1: companies have ever offered their employees to show their appreciation

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Speaker 1: instead of bonuses, let's get into it. Number ten one

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Speaker 1: company generated an extra six minute million dollars in sales

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Speaker 1: for the year, so the higher up sent everybody a

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Speaker 1: single breath mint stapled to a note that said, thank

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Speaker 1: you for your encouragement, commit Mint investment involvement. You are

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Speaker 1: very appreciated, but at least give you the whole pack

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Speaker 1: they wrote mint more than they actually gave number of

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Speaker 1: mints to them. Wow, an upgrade.

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Speaker 2: It was only six million dollars. Act, you know they

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Speaker 2: could have worked harder.

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Speaker 1: Sure there are two hundred thousand dollars mints easy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Number nine one workplace rewarded employees with work bucks.

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Speaker 2: Oh that sounds terrible already.

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Speaker 1: Currency that's only redeemable at the workplace. Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Did people write back and say we want real bucks.

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Speaker 1: That's not an option, but they could be used to

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Speaker 1: buy items from the company break room like top ramen

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Speaker 1: and granola bars. Wow, you don't even have top ramen

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Speaker 1: in our brain. That's a fancy.

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Speaker 2: But we but we have to pay for it.

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Speaker 1: It's not free. Number eight. Instead of giving out raises,

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Speaker 1: one manager gave out paper cups filled with fun size

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Speaker 1: hundred grand bars and a note that said, I know

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Speaker 1: you wanted money, but you'll just have to settle for

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Speaker 1: one hundred grand. I appreciate the punds, but afterwards it's like, no, seriously,

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Speaker 1: how can.

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Speaker 2: You start the statement with I know you wanted money

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Speaker 2: and not have anything in your brain that this is

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Speaker 2: a bad idea.

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Speaker 1: These are the worst employee gifts and incentives people ever

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Speaker 1: got from their company over the years. Number seven, and

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Speaker 1: this one is just shameful. One employer actually gave each

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Speaker 1: of the employees in the office a literal rock with

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Speaker 1: the words you rock written on it in sharpie. It's sharpie.

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Speaker 2: They couldn't even engrave it or something.

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Speaker 1: I can see one of our old bosses who like

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Speaker 1: loved a camp always in the wilderness.

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Speaker 2: Yes, nice mugs, Yeah, yeah, yeah, but mine was green.

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Speaker 1: Oh it's not my color.

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure you could thought a survey what color

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Speaker 2: you wanted.

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Speaker 1: Number six. Another company did an end of the quarter

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Speaker 1: thank you by handing out empty individual ziploc bags, and

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Speaker 1: at the top of the bag was a note that said,

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Speaker 1: I know this bag looks empty, but it's actually filled

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Speaker 1: with our love. Oh okay, I kind of cue.

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Speaker 2: Oh. I wouldn't even like that if it was from

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Speaker 2: my child. Bags are so terrible for the environment. On

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Speaker 2: top of my I want action kid action.

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Speaker 1: Number five. For employee Appreciation Day, this workplace let all

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Speaker 1: twenty of their workers spin a prize wheel.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: The prizes up for grabs were a mini box of cereal,

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Speaker 1: autographed photo of their boss, no, a head of raw lettuce.

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Speaker 1: What a can of soup unopened? They could have done

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Speaker 1: an open one pantry?

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Speaker 2: And how does the boss have headshots?

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Speaker 1: One pickle, spear or a new toothbrush.

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Speaker 2: I'd want the pickle anybody.

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Speaker 1: We're talking about the worst gifts and incentives employees ever

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Speaker 1: got from their bosses and higher ups at their company.

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Speaker 1: Number four. One company tried to give their workers something

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Speaker 1: to celebrate at the end of a successful year by

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Speaker 1: throwing a big company holiday party for them, nice, elaborate one.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that feels so good, I think, and it's

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Speaker 2: so good for like team camaraderie.

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Speaker 1: You know, he's great. But this one did have one stipulation.

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Speaker 1: Everyone has to pay to get into the party. There's

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Speaker 1: a fifteen dollars cover charge per employee, plus twenty five

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Speaker 1: dollars per guest. Do you want to bring with you? God? No,

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Speaker 1: we're good.

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Speaker 2: Don't not do it.

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Speaker 1: But it's a nice party. Number three. Instead of giving raises,

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Speaker 1: one year, a hospital gave their entire staff a printed

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Speaker 1: PDF form instructing them on how they could donate money

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Speaker 1: to a local food bank. Oh my god, people that

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Speaker 1: are already giving back so much not giving quite enough.

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Speaker 1: You're not enough number two. One employee was recognized for

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Speaker 1: helping the company generate twenty seven billion dollars you say,

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Speaker 1: b B billion dollars in profit for the year, and

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Speaker 1: the bosses were obviously extremely grateful for that. So one house,

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Speaker 1: they sent him a handwritten thank you note on a

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Speaker 1: card very nice, with a gift card to a fancy

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Speaker 1: steakhouse for ten dollars. No, no way, that.

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Speaker 2: Is the worse. When you get a gift party, you know,

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Speaker 2: to cover even close the cost of going. Yeah, so

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Speaker 2: you're like, wait, I'm going to pay one hundred dollars

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Speaker 2: in order to use your gift.

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Speaker 1: You're gonna pay for the butter on top of the

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Speaker 1: station barely And the number one worst gift or incentive

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Speaker 1: an employer has ever given to their staff.

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Speaker 2: How could it be worse than what we just heard.

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Speaker 1: This workplace wanted to reward one of their employees for

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Speaker 1: working all the way through the pandemic.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, you know.

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Speaker 1: They got this nice, fancy jewelry box and when you

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Speaker 1: opened it, inside was a silver plastic coin that said

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Speaker 1: thanks for your dedicated efforts during COVID nineteen. Hashtag disaster

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Speaker 1: relief twenty twenty. Are you a plastic coin, commemorative coin,

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Speaker 1: say commemorative coin, I.

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Speaker 2: Mean, I guess they could have given them free COVID tests.

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Speaker 1: Those are the worst incentives companies ever gave to their workers.

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Speaker 1: Now you were, you feel grateful forever you work, don't.

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Speaker 2: You and take your crumbs? Okay it would be we're

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Speaker 2: going to do a

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Speaker 1: Phone tap for free right after this