00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said no, guess your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me? 00:00:47 Speaker 2: Welcome to, I said no gifts. I'm Bridge D Wineger. This is the beginning of the podcast. I've thought of absolutely nothing to talk to you about. I had a very empty day. The big event was maybe too much clicking and a Zoom meeting I was on, and so I've been kind of trying to release the anxiety from that. You're traveling through Highland Park at five pm on January nineteenth. The road is closed York Boulevard for a stretch, and so keep that in mind. Those are That's essentially all I have to report to you. So we're going to now just turn our attention to the podcast. We're going to get into it. We're going to talk to a guest who I find extremely funny and I just adore. It's Beth Stelling. Beth, Welcome to. 00:01:37 Speaker 3: I said no gifts, So happy to be here. I'm wearing no jewelry and I never will again. There's no clinking on my end over here. 00:01:46 Speaker 2: Wait, did you just have to take off a necklace? 00:01:49 Speaker 3: Well, actually no, I do have a necklace on, but it won't be clinking. 00:01:53 Speaker 2: You were wearing a bunch of chunky jewelry. 00:01:55 Speaker 3: I took off all my chunky jewelry from the nineteen nineties and I put it right in my top joy next to my Tiffany necklace. And I'm just kidding. Do you remember those? Of course we never got those because we got fake ones. 00:02:08 Speaker 2: What were the Tiffany necklaces? 00:02:10 Speaker 3: Okay, so in the nineties there was these very popular Tiffanys. There were silver, and you know, the rich girls had them. And it looks like a chunky chain link and it goes on by. I don't know what this particular latch is called, but it's the kind that's like a tea and it flattens. So when you put it through the hole once, you then make it perpendicular to the hole. Then that's how it latches. A tea turned into a line, goes through the hole, then tee it up again and then anyway, that's what people wore in the front. 00:02:51 Speaker 2: Wait, they wore the clasp in the front. 00:02:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, a lot of stuff didn't make sense, Like the ugs got popular, and I thought those were just the ugly things on the planet. I mean it's in the name. I just a lot of things were going on, and what was it, I guess the nineties late nineties. 00:03:07 Speaker 2: It was a decade. In a decade, we're doing things that just made no sense. And it's I mean, it's unfortunately coming roaring back, and all of these things are just going to feel like you've put them in the past, and then suddenly everyone's listening to corn again, that kind of thing. It's just devastating. 00:03:25 Speaker 3: Did you ever listen to corn? 00:03:27 Speaker 2: No? 00:03:27 Speaker 4: And no, I mean neither. 00:03:28 Speaker 3: It always seems so scary to me. 00:03:31 Speaker 2: It always seems so bad to me. 00:03:33 Speaker 3: I just was like, that's not for me. Anything goth was like too scary. I'm such a scaredy cat. 00:03:39 Speaker 2: What kind of person were you during that period? Were you preppy ish? 00:03:44 Speaker 3: Definitely, I would say on the preppier side, but cheap prep, you know, like I'm in a white seal, I'm not in an Abercrombie. Too rich for our tastes. And my Tiffany's necklace was from Things Remembered, which is also remember, Yeah, my mom did her best. I think she was looking for the knockoff. We did, however, have real lands end coats. 00:04:14 Speaker 2: Oh that's fancy. 00:04:15 Speaker 3: Yeah, the kind that were I don't know, probably like polar teckets called or something on the outside and the fleece on the inside a different color zip up the front. 00:04:25 Speaker 2: Those are definitely coming back. I feel like I've seen a bunch of people wearing a very similar thing to what you've been describing. 00:04:30 Speaker 3: Yeah. Again, the rich kids wore Patagonia and we were over here. I was calling up that lands And number on the landline and putting in my order number or item number, you know, very carefully saying it to the person on the phone, do not mess this up for me. I need red on the outside and navy on the inside. Oh and then they also did backpacks, right, yeah, I'm. 00:04:57 Speaker 5: Pretty sure those we got those sport Okay, it was a jam sport where I think it was a lands And backpack that you got your initials monogrammed. 00:05:08 Speaker 3: And it's just my own initials never really resonated with me. You know some people who are like Gem or Jam or well, Jeb. Jeb was my first love and that was his initials, Jeb Bush James Evan Burris, and everybody called him Jeb. Anyway, mine are Ed's Elizabeth Duval Stelling. 00:05:27 Speaker 2: Okay, I've got an E. Yeah, what are you? B? E? W? Bridger, Eric? 00:05:33 Speaker 4: You or just be? 00:05:35 Speaker 3: Which is a good one? That would be a good one. 00:05:38 Speaker 2: I don't know. I feel like that combination of letters doesn't really strike me as something interesting. It's kind of like a balloon deflating or something. 00:05:46 Speaker 3: But I love it. If I started walking down the hall and I saw but I'd be like, oh, I'm so jealous. I'm Eds. 00:05:54 Speaker 2: Not great. It's not great, but not horrible. I mean, I think you've probably just put too much thought into it. 00:06:00 Speaker 3: I think you're right, and I haven't stopped thinking about it. Clearly. 00:06:03 Speaker 2: Would just go to the factory outlet and I would get my Jan Sport backpack and then I have it for four years until it had a hole in it and then it was time for a new backpack. 00:06:16 Speaker 3: Yeah. Four years is good, especially when you start getting up there and the books are heavier. 00:06:20 Speaker 2: Right, And I'll stand by a Jan Sport. I think it's a classic backpack and I love it. 00:06:25 Speaker 3: I love that name to this day. Yeah, what overtook herschel? 00:06:30 Speaker 2: Overtook herschel? Oh yeah, of course, very stylish. 00:06:34 Speaker 3: Yeah to the market. 00:06:36 Speaker 2: I was given one of those for as a gift a few years ago for a job, and I will just I feel like it was you know, it's not the sort of backpack I would buy with my own money. I'm not paying more than fifteen dollars in backpack, so I'll hold on to this well into it not looking cool. 00:06:55 Speaker 6: Yeah, you better believe it was difficult for me not to give you like wrap gifts and screener gifts, Like I wanted to take all the screener gifts that I wasn't using and be like this is. 00:07:11 Speaker 3: This is Pritcher's gift. 00:07:12 Speaker 2: Screeners for me are now just bordering on harassment. I'll get like a screener for an Amazon movie and it's just insulting. 00:07:21 Speaker 3: I know. I'm like, I feel like you guys are it's harassing mother nature and the environment. How could you possibly be sending people DVDs? Even Netflix? 00:07:33 Speaker 2: Don't send me a Netflix DVD? What are we talking about? 00:07:36 Speaker 3: Yah, It's like they already did that. They already they already were in that rodeo like a decade ago. Or was that wait, right, wasn't that Netflix you would send the CDs back? 00:07:45 Speaker 2: Or wasn't Netflix is who started the whole thing. They started with the DVDs going yeah, and then it became whatever it. 00:07:51 Speaker 3: Is now they were mailing it in. 00:07:53 Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure you still can get DVDs from Netflix. But it's like a secret I have, like a secret side of their business that people are still getting DVDs. Bro. 00:08:03 Speaker 3: I guess it's a way to reach the more analog folks. 00:08:06 Speaker 2: Of the world, right, I mean, I've heard the reason screeners get sent out is because they're still, you know, more senior members of the entertainment industry that don't have streaming services and are only watching DVDs. 00:08:19 Speaker 3: Okay, it made my mind. My mind thought you were going to say, because it's a write off an expense. 00:08:25 Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure that's also part of it. Now, the last time you and I chatted online, you were having a lot of trouble with Luigi's mansion. 00:08:36 Speaker 3: And I'll tell you what, I am not finding those elevator buttons I have. It's preventing me from re entering the game. I'm embarrassed. I keep finding the ghosts. I'm like, I mean, what does that even mean? Because I can't tell you. I'm over here, like I found some and I have been sucking up ghosts. I've been blowing stuff around, sucking up money, and how do I get to the other floors. I feel like I've cleared them, but maybe there's a big ghost. I still have them beaten. 00:09:06 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like there's a final ghost that I was never it was too difficult for me. I finally I got to the very end. I think it's like an evil woman ghost. 00:09:14 Speaker 3: Okay, I definitely thought some woman. 00:09:17 Speaker 2: Oh you did fight? 00:09:18 Speaker 3: I did. She was a ghostly woman, and I'm like, do I just need to keep opening doors until I find her. I'm just like, I need to get back in there, but it's hard to stay motivated. I need an elevator button. I need like a bread chrumb elevator button here. And then, you know, when I'm playing Mario Odyssey, I think it is Mario or no, maybe it's just Super Mario. When I'm playing that, you know which I did beat the game, but I'm not going to lie to you. I looked up some YouTube cheets, like I needed to figure out I couldn't figure out where some of this stuff was, and with Luigi's mansion, I am not finding the cheats easily online. 00:09:57 Speaker 2: Luigi's mansion should have a whole guy. It's I mean, there are a lot of little things you have to find. 00:10:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, no, note no, like here's where you can find I mean there is the scientist. 00:10:09 Speaker 2: Guy, right, doctor gad zooks or something. 00:10:16 Speaker 3: Doctor Wait, dang, what's the place called hot topic? Doctor hot topic? God zooks? You know, jokes are always funnier when you can just riff them right away. But I find that I've been truly brain dead, Like there's in what I used to be able to go rip it. I would be like, you'd say, doctor gad Zoos, and I'd be like, yeah, doctor hot topic, not even a great joke, thank you. That's actually what I was looking for. 00:10:40 Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's truly what I'm zoom. 00:10:43 Speaker 3: No. I think it's I think it's the pandemonium. And I think it's that I did have a breakthrough case of COVID after I was vaccinated in August. I'm blaming it on that. I don't know, I'm not been the same. 00:10:55 Speaker 2: I do feel like all of our brains have slowed down quite a bit. I don't. I feel like they're not being activated as. 00:11:00 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm over here like saying I'm not very online, but then all of a sudden, my fingers are opening Instagram and it brings me little joy, very zero I'm gonna say, yeah, zero none, maybe even negative joy. 00:11:16 Speaker 2: Well, you've got to follow some nice accounts. I follow a few nice accounts that are just there, like nice photography, this kind of thing that feel pleasant to look at. 00:11:25 Speaker 3: The nature ones don't pop up enough. I mean, then of course you're right there. I love people falling and that will constantly bring me joy. They're definitely I mean I'm being replaced as a stand up comic by memes. I mean I already was replaced. Memes are everybody's favorite comic. Get believe me. I know to act as like I can't believe some stand up comics have the nerve distill tour. It's like you're going to try to compete with memes, gifts, TikTok. Please give up. You want to little you think people are going to act. Talking for forty five minutes listening to you, I. 00:12:05 Speaker 2: Feel like you've been on Uh you've been out of town a lot recently, doing shows. Is that true? 00:12:11 Speaker 3: Well, actually, just this past week and I've been I'm directing me Welch and Atlanta Johnston solo shows. So I went with them to Amphibian Theater in Fort Worth, Texas, and I just, you know, did a little opening set for them, but it was like ten minutes or something. And then I'm like, did I go anywhere else before that? 00:12:32 Speaker 4: Oh? 00:12:33 Speaker 3: My friend Monica Martin and I she's a beautiful insided out but also I was just going to say, a beautiful voice musician. And we did a couple of little, two little shows on our way home for the holidays, which we still have not been paid for, and I am so I have such money, Like may is this? I'm sure this is a universal thing. No one likes being taken advantage of, but it nags at me if things aren't squared away, I'm just like, how could this guy possibly not pay us? 00:13:06 Speaker 2: I know that feeling very well, I would let that just eat at me every morning until I died. 00:13:13 Speaker 3: Yes, And it's not even like it's really a matter of I'm in a different place in my life where thankfully, I mean, it's just need to take care of and I'm happy to be working. So it's like I make my living, I'm very I'm fine. I don't need the money like I may have needed it several years ago, so it's not like I am like waiting on it to pay rent, which again that's good. It's the idea of it that you, of course you're taking advantage of me. We performed a service even if I was waiting on ten dollars once. That's what it's about for. 00:13:44 Speaker 2: Me, of course, it's just the moral point of it. Now has he been in contact or has he just vanished? 00:13:50 Speaker 3: Well, she was friends with the guy, so Monica was, so she felt like, oh, he'll pay us, you know, anyway, message him because she said he asked for your benma. I said, here my venmo. Nothing. I followed up and I was like, hey, are you going to pay us? This is like kind of what we spent to get there. And then nothing, and then I had to fall up again and say, hey, none of us have been paid yet. And then I messaged one of the comics he claimed was his friend, and that's a man, so maybe he'll respond to them. 00:14:23 Speaker 2: Is there any chance he's died. 00:14:28 Speaker 3: At this point. I would accept that as an answer. 00:14:35 Speaker 2: I'm still owed money by all kinds of people. There's this terrible corporation that still owes me for work from years ago. For our friends. I'm sure holy money Las Vegas. I gambled twenty dollars there in two thousand and nine, which I would definitely like back. Not a fan of that city, They're not going to see me until I get that money back. 00:14:56 Speaker 3: I think I'm discounting some of the good times I've had there, but I believe it's because the negative takeover. One time I got all settled into my room. I was doing Jimmy Kimmel's Comedy Club, and I got all settled in and my mom and my sister came with me because I was like the guinea pig to film a late night set for Kimmel, and like nobody had ever done it before. They're just gonna shoot from the studio over to Vegas and be like, let's pop in and see how this goes. My first night at the club ever one of the earliest comics to be there, I believe, and I'm just like, I feel like I'm gonna really eat it hard, and I kind of in my opinion did it wasn't great. But anyway, I get all settled. I'm gonna take my mom and my sister out to dinner. And as I'm walking by, I'm like, that smells strange. As I walk to the phone to call my to call their room in the same hotel, and then I look down and it's just wine barf in between the beds the floor, and I'm like, but how could this be. It's not even in the used condom pit area where you don't go, you know, between the bed and the wall. It's it's right there and between the phones. And I'd already I'm the person who pre pandemic. I'm wiping everything down with Lysol wipes like I travel with them. So it's like I already cleaned too. I've cleaned my room. I've settled in. Then I discovered the bar. 00:16:16 Speaker 2: Where did it come from? Someone crawled out from under the bed, threw up, and then disappeared into the hotel. 00:16:23 Speaker 3: It was there the whole time, Bridger, and while we went to dinner, they did come up and like spray some stuff on it, and then obviously I just avoided it that. 00:16:32 Speaker 4: It roped you out of the room. 00:16:33 Speaker 3: They did offer, but it was like, already a nice big room, and so I already did all the cleaning and and I settled. 00:16:42 Speaker 4: Demand. 00:16:42 Speaker 2: In that situation, you demand an even bigger room, and you demand that they were a bar, a hot tub full of You've earned it at that point. Come on, have some self respect. This is why you don't like Las Vegas. You don't know how to play the game. Okay, look we have to talk about something else. You've avoided the subject long enough, and I you know, I've I have to confront you. This podcast is called I said no gifts. I love Beth Stelling. I'll scream it from the rooftops. I adore everything she does up until, you know, last week, I looked at you as kind of a flawless, faultless individual, and then you know you had agreed to be on this podcast, and I was very excited. And then I'm suddenly, without warning, confronted with an item. I opened my door and I I've got something from Beth Stelling. It's and now I'm looking at something here. It says for baby, it's a little gift bag that kind of a little I didn't do that well's I don't know that feels like a lie to me. Do you have is it easier for you to lie over zoom this? I mean it's not my work. Certainly I didn't put it. 00:18:11 Speaker 3: Okay, well, I'm actually gonna need to see a little check of your handwriting just to compare. 00:18:17 Speaker 2: Well, Unfortunately, this little card on here is blank, so nobody can tell who put it in this gift bag. 00:18:23 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, are you going to open it or what? 00:18:26 Speaker 2: Well do you want me to is that? 00:18:29 Speaker 3: Yeah? And I actually don't want you to do it carefully. I love it if you just ripped it all open. 00:18:40 Speaker 2: Well, I'm going to yes, tissue violet tissue ripping. 00:18:47 Speaker 3: I mean, okay, I'm so excited. And I said no gifts, but I couldn't help it. You deserve it. Okay, there's another bag. It's a hat on a hat what okay? What are you reading? What are those says this? 00:19:03 Speaker 2: Initially I initially thought this is some sort of traction, this is some sort of neck brace, but this looks to be a version. 00:19:12 Speaker 3: You're not wrong about the t words neck brace? 00:19:16 Speaker 2: Is this a it is a neck brace? Pillow? 00:19:18 Speaker 3: Okay, so you know you did mention I was on the road, which I am. I am getting back on the road again, you were You're right, I just haven't toured in two years. So when you were like you seem to be on the road, I realize over the last two years because I was being the extra careful comic, but I was also being the comic that like loved that I had an excuse not to go out right, you know. So it's kind of like when you don't want to get married and back in the day and you'd be like, oh, I'm going to wait to get married until everyone can. He never really wanted to get married. So I'm sort of like, I'll get back on tour when it's safe. So but I never wanted to tour again. But anywhay point being, I do tour and I have some things I take with me. We've mentioned the Lysol wipes, and I can sleep on a plane. It's Pavlovian for me, but I do need the proper tools. Okay. Now this was shown to me by Emily Gordon, who was another writer, so she did turn me onto it and I ordered it and it is perfect you and again even pre pandemic. I have a photo of me after the weekend, after the world's shut down in my turtle and I have. I also wear an eyemask on the plane. I was already covering all my holes and orifices before the pandemic started on a plane. And if someone you know uses their butt boys on the plane, then that also will protect you because it covers. You can put it pretty much over your nose and mouth, but it goes around your neck and all you have to do is wrap it around. It's velcrow and you're gonna sleep like this. 00:20:49 Speaker 2: Should I put it on now? 00:20:50 Speaker 3: Yeah? I mean I would give it a whirl if I were you, And it's going to be something you might use just on your couch. It's as soft as please. 00:20:58 Speaker 2: I'm gonna wear this to watch TV. 00:20:59 Speaker 3: Yeah you could do that, but we don't want you to lose all your neck muscles. 00:21:04 Speaker 2: We still need to My neck is just a pencil. But I'm sleeping better than ever. 00:21:10 Speaker 3: It's so comfy, okay, And in fact, you know I'm a neat freak, like I'm molo germaphobe, and so you can also take out the inner brace ends up. I always remember because it looks like the legs of a dog or something. And to put it back in. I have to remember how that climbs in there. But so, yeah, you're doing great so far. 00:21:27 Speaker 2: That is your shoulder place, jaw or shoulder options. It's nice that I have options. Should I take this? 00:21:36 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I don't want you to block your microphone with this one, but. 00:21:40 Speaker 2: You'll figure a listener can do already. 00:21:42 Speaker 3: I think you can go around under it here. 00:21:44 Speaker 2: I may be commuted for a moment, and that's fine. Okay, So this is okay, okay, So. 00:21:48 Speaker 3: It's now place it on your shoulder, I say, but. 00:21:52 Speaker 2: If we weren't on zoom right now, you would be kind of cradling me like a boyfriend putting it on. 00:21:57 Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, should I get mine to. 00:21:59 Speaker 2: Get yours and demonstrate it because it is a little more confusing. 00:22:02 Speaker 3: That okay, I know it does be confusing. Like I said, listen, let me grab it real quick. Right back. 00:22:07 Speaker 2: It's a listener while she's going away. I'll describe this. It's kind of like a hard brace with a tail that's almost like a scarf, kind of tailing down, almost like a tadpole. And then it's it has stickers all over it telling you where your body's supposed to be. Okay, Beth's back and she's brought back. 00:22:29 Speaker 3: Device with Okay, so here's my turtle. Yours is either a darker is it blacker grays? 00:22:36 Speaker 2: Yeah, mine's kind of a charcoal. 00:22:38 Speaker 3: Mine looks the same on the camera, but it looks lighter. Okay, so you open it up. So here you've got to figure it out this but actually you're going to want to turn it like this sideways, yeah, and then like this, so I put it like, oh okay, and then you're gonna wrap it around and stick or you know, you can go the other way too, obviously. Okay, you can get it real tight or not tight, whatever you need. Go ahead and just lean. 00:23:08 Speaker 4: Oh fantastic, enjoy your flight. 00:23:14 Speaker 2: On a flight, my head is just completely forward, which leads to those dreams where you're falling and then waking up in a jolt. Not anymore. This is beautiful. It's like a it feels a little bit like a little cocoon and that's just the right amount of pressure. I might wear this to bed. 00:23:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, they might help you sleep. 00:23:37 Speaker 2: I just got a new sleep mask, which is one of those ones that is not it doesn't lie flat. It's almost like too little. It's almost like a miniature bra that you put over your eyes does not make any sense. 00:23:49 Speaker 3: I think I have one, yeah like that. 00:23:50 Speaker 2: And I'm learning, like I'm adjusting to that because I have heard those flat ones can lead to eye infections, ew get pink eye things like that. I don't want to scare. 00:24:00 Speaker 3: I never, Okay. I also use the kind that like have almost little like you're saying, a bra that goes over so they're not touching. It does close off. 00:24:07 Speaker 2: All kind of little cups that go over your earth. 00:24:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, and that is the way to do it. You're right, probably better for I don't know, like you're saying pink eye for sure, but also anti aging or something. I've not been using a sleep mask lately in my own bed, which is not like me. I think I need to find it. It's got to be somewhere in there. 00:24:28 Speaker 2: It's nice to have total darkness. 00:24:30 Speaker 3: I did get a new like Lunia pajamas are really nice. They had so well. They sent me some like these silk pajamas high waisted with pockets, yeah, pant and top button down. And then they also sent me a mask and it has like basically triangle here but silk still pillow soft, but it does go right on your eyes, so it's kind of. 00:24:55 Speaker 2: Like Okay, and it's called Lunya. 00:24:58 Speaker 3: L U n Ya love their pajamas. 00:25:01 Speaker 2: Okay, I've got to look. Do they sell men's pajamas? 00:25:04 Speaker 3: I'm almost positive. 00:25:06 Speaker 2: I mean I could get into a pair of ladies. 00:25:07 Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, they probably fit you better than me. I got a honk and butt, which I love. 00:25:13 Speaker 2: I wouldn't mind a nightgown. Now that we're on the subject. 00:25:16 Speaker 3: You would look great in a nightgown. 00:25:18 Speaker 2: Maybe I should look into a nightgown that could be my name. 00:25:21 Speaker 3: Yeah, they're not gonna, They're not over here telling you you can't buy this is all I'm saying. 00:25:25 Speaker 2: And now, do your pajamas have some sort of design on them or are they just a tasteful color? 00:25:30 Speaker 3: These? I have a ton But you know another another one I like is eber Jay. They use that soft Oh what's it called? I forget? Oh, it's on the tip of my tongue. But remember I'm brain dead God not bamboo. So yeah, anyway, Luna's are silk navy, then i'd get I have some evergay pajamas. I've got those in like again, button down in pants or shorts. I love their shorts. They were a pajamas or I have all kinds of sleep outfits. 00:26:03 Speaker 2: You have just a closet dedicated to pajama full drawer. 00:26:06 Speaker 3: Of pajamas only all were just a slip with no support for the you know, the boobs. And I'll also wear a uh cammy sort of thing that is what are a baby doll type one that does support your boobs kind of like is tight here and then goes out. 00:26:27 Speaker 2: Kind of what you see like a Betty Draper on. 00:26:29 Speaker 3: Madmen potentially like that, but it's soft. Yeah, it's all about comfort. I have a few, of course, like you know, sexy things for a partner, but I'm not like huge on that. I don't know. 00:26:42 Speaker 2: You've got a little bit of something for every occase. 00:26:44 Speaker 3: Everybody, for everybody. Maybe it's oh, I know what I was looking for. The word modoo m O D That's what I was looking for. Am I gonna be? Okay? I mean, isn't it? 00:26:58 Speaker 2: It's job just absolutely deteriorate over soon. No, I'm the same way. I like. I don't know if it's because two years have passed and I'm just two years older, or if two years have passed and nothing has new has come into my brain. 00:27:14 Speaker 3: Maybe them both combo potentially. 00:27:18 Speaker 2: I am having. 00:27:20 Speaker 3: Remember Sorry, I want to I want you to finish your sentence. I interrupted because I wouldn't know what. 00:27:25 Speaker 2: I don't even know what I was saying. 00:27:26 Speaker 3: I think he was saying, you were having a hard time remembering. 00:27:29 Speaker 2: Oh, I'm having a very difficult time remembering anything recalling. I mean I always had a hard time, like if somebody said, uh like just basically with actors' names, considering I work in the entertainment business. Cannot recall even a favorite actor's name most of the time. But now that's my whole, my whole world. But what were you saying? 00:27:53 Speaker 3: I was yes, ending you and adding a curiosity of whether you've been able to read a book in all of this, because I've certainly purchased. 00:28:03 Speaker 2: Them, okay, but you haven't been able to read. 00:28:07 Speaker 3: I mean I have some I read one book and I'd love to tell you the name of it, but I just absolutely can I remember. 00:28:15 Speaker 2: Well that that's a and I enjoyed it too. I'm fully in that book because I will read on my e reader, and so I'm not looking, you know, with a traditional book every time you open it, you see the title, you see the author's name. Now with like a kindle or whatever, you don't see you see those things at the beginning, and then never again. So I frequently won't remember the name of a book I'm reading. 00:28:38 Speaker 3: I did. This one was tough for me in the sense that. 00:28:42 Speaker 2: I also had it on tape sand Talk. 00:28:45 Speaker 3: What is it that? By Tyson Yanka Porta. This is actually a book with my with the Writer's Room that we were reading like as a side thing. Oh, it's a he's an indigenous man from Australia and it says how indigenou thinking can save the world. And there's a lot of things in here I genuinely love. Again, I am not done with it. One of the greatest takeaways that I'm gonna summarize it and probably botch it is just the idea that in indigenous culture, and again let's not take me as a reliable dictionary source here, but one of the general ideas I take away from it was the idea that if you do commit a crime or transgression, their culture promotes accountability in the sense that you will be punished, but once you've served your time or fulfilled the punishment, you're actually celebrated and welcome back into the community. 00:29:41 Speaker 2: As you should be. 00:29:42 Speaker 3: And that's what our society is one hundred percent absolutely missing, because we're just denied tony, deny, which equals no accountability because no one wants to pay the price because the price is so terrible. In addition to time or well technically it's typically no time at all, but public shame and then never allowed back. Never there's no rehabilitation. 00:30:05 Speaker 2: Oh that's a lovely thought. Oh I wish we could somehow as a group get together and pull it together because what's currently happening is certainly not working. I've got I'm taking this thing. 00:30:19 Speaker 3: Off, okay, but it looked great. 00:30:21 Speaker 2: It feels incredible. It is more fashion. I mean, it's fashion and function. I mean, let's be honest. What other sort of books? What sort of books you normally read? What's your bag? 00:30:33 Speaker 3: The one I was really enjoying was Short Stories from and again, I would love to tell you what the book's called short stories been loving those. I do love poetry. I love an autobiography, just a lot of. 00:30:49 Speaker 2: Good autobiographies, fascinating details and just you get to fill your brain with new information. Do you have a favorite autobiography. 00:31:00 Speaker 3: I really loved. I mean, Karl Bournett's One More Time stands out as one of the older ones I loved. Yeah, I read it years ago, but I really enjoyed it. Tina Feyz I remember. 00:31:12 Speaker 2: Making me laugh out loud, Boston, very funny. 00:31:14 Speaker 3: I'm reading Cecily Tyson's right now and again, I've, like I told you in the Pandemic, I'll start, but her life so far from what I've read. You know, the fascinating part is almost sort of like these signs and callings, sort of indicators from the universe that she was sort of particularly special. Oh wow, Yeah, I know that sounds like vague and weird, but you'll see if you read it. 00:31:40 Speaker 2: Now. See, what you've just done is something I can't do, which is recall any information from any book I've ever read. I will finish a book and thirty seconds later cannot tell you what it was about. 00:31:52 Speaker 3: Or what I learned that makes me feel better. 00:31:54 Speaker 2: My retention is very low. 00:31:58 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna I know, it doesn't matter. I'm just going to find that book for you later. I don't know why it's. 00:32:03 Speaker 2: Bothering me so you're but you're sleeping on planes. You've set yourself up to just be able to sleep. Have you ever had trouble sleeping or a trouble plane situation at all? 00:32:13 Speaker 3: Only time I can recall is this past weekend, and it's because I flew with Alanna Johnson and Moelch, who I love, two comedians that I'm directing their show. And we flew in a row which that I'm down for love that all next to each other. But we were in the area that is just cramped. Oh yeah, So it's cramped and I'm very tall, and so my legs are jammed. And this is the real kicker. First time in decades, I've forgot my turtle, the gift that I sang, and the irony is that I sent it to you, probably right as I was about to board the flight. 00:32:56 Speaker 2: I know you should have remembered. 00:32:58 Speaker 3: It's terrible. So that's actually the worst experience I've had recently on a plane because it didn't have my turtle. If I had the turtle, I would have been out like a light. But I was uncomfortable. 00:33:07 Speaker 2: Do you take any sort of sleep aid or anything. 00:33:09 Speaker 3: No. I've been flying for thirty years, so I'm it's Pavlovian. Is that the right? I think I'm using that? 00:33:16 Speaker 2: Sure? 00:33:16 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, Yeah, I get on and I fall asleep. The one time I did use a sleep aid, drama mean was more for motion sickness, and I accidentally didn't think it through and took one for a flight from La Da, San Francisco. 00:33:34 Speaker 4: Forty minutes. 00:33:36 Speaker 3: I was walking off that plane as if I had a forty pound necklace on. I was supposed to go to a meeting directly, and I called him. I said, it's not looking good. I took a drama mean or some people were going to call a drama mean. You tell me, Yeah, what do you? 00:33:52 Speaker 2: I guess I would say drama mean, but we both say pajamas mm. 00:33:56 Speaker 3: Hm, which I mean. I wouldn't be shocked if I hit you with a pajama someday. 00:34:01 Speaker 2: The pajama's pajamas. Halloween, Halloween, the a. It's a tricky vowel that I can never really land on. 00:34:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, Halloween, Yeah Halloween. 00:34:15 Speaker 2: You're from Ohio, is that right? 00:34:17 Speaker 3: Yeah? 00:34:17 Speaker 2: I feel like that that pronunciation is very Midwest Halloween. 00:34:22 Speaker 3: What are you doing for Halloween? I seem to be a flip flopper. 00:34:26 Speaker 2: I'm a complete flip flopper. I'll say, well, this is an A but envelope that's interchangeable for me. 00:34:34 Speaker 3: Do you have any envelopes? I'll take an envelope. I really can do both. I'm shocking myself. 00:34:41 Speaker 2: So natural two different people. 00:34:47 Speaker 3: Sometimes I just say things like, for example, my grandma would say trace or something. Wait, what is she saying trace instead of trash? 00:34:55 Speaker 2: Wow, I've never heard that tra That gives it kind of a daintiness, kind of a it feels a little more fragile. 00:35:04 Speaker 3: Put it in. And then of course my dad's just more weird, so like garbage or something like that. It's just being silly. But I'm over here thinking like, how do I really say it? I mean, I say trash or sometimes I'll say warter again just like my grandma or something. You'll say order, but I'm doing it on purpose, Okay, Yeah. And of course if I'm at a meal, I'll say like tap water or something like yeah, or if it's a flight attendant, I'll say tap water from the bathroom place and then she says, I'm not legally allowed to do that. 00:35:42 Speaker 2: I want you to go in there and push the strange little faucet button that is barely functioning and fill a glass with bathroom tap water. 00:35:56 Speaker 3: Yeah, you would get so say, speaking of pink iy not good? Yeah. 00:36:05 Speaker 2: I feel like there are some pronunciations from Utah that I just can't stand for. And I don't even even know if they're Utah specific, but things like crick for creek. Like you like? 00:36:17 Speaker 3: Yeah, I like crick. It's just funny. 00:36:21 Speaker 2: Well, of course it's funny, but it's I don't think it's appropriate. 00:36:25 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're walking along the creek. What was the other one? 00:36:29 Speaker 2: Rough roof on the hard one for me to get behind. 00:36:32 Speaker 3: On the roof top click click click root beer. I like beer better. 00:36:39 Speaker 2: I like a nice root. I like it's more fun to say, Yeah, it's more playful sounding. 00:36:45 Speaker 3: Well we moved to Utah and lay down our roots. 00:36:50 Speaker 2: I can't deal with that. It doesn't work for me. But you know, I'm not gonna shame anyone if you're a root drinker or roof repair. Yeah, rougher, I guess oh, yeah, okay, Well, I'm now prepared to sleep a little bit more appropriately on a plane. I I don't know. I dread being on a plane for more than thirty minutes. 00:37:21 Speaker 3: Have you avoided traveling or I think obviously we've been through a lot with the pandemonium. Like I was very you know, like I mentioned before, I was definitely not touring. You know, I wasn't getting on a plane. That was scary. So the first time back on was after I was vaccinated, and you know, you kind of had that surge there where we all kind of thought it would be okay, you know, so I'm fully vaccinated, I'm gonna get on a plane. I went to Glacier National Park with some girlfriends, So that was like my first one. I think that was maybe five months ago. So that first flight back, it felt like should I be doing this? 00:37:57 Speaker 2: It felt like I was disobeying somebody. Same it was like I had jumped over a fence into my neighbor's yard or something. 00:38:06 Speaker 3: So you were also kind of probably you were probably a little more cautious than even me. 00:38:10 Speaker 2: I know I was. I was cautious enough. I waited until I was vaccinated, and then I went home to Utah and like April or May, and it did feel a little taboo. 00:38:23 Speaker 3: That is also what I went to see my mom in May. 00:38:27 Speaker 2: Yeah, and then I went again during Christmas and then it just felt dangerous again. 00:38:32 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was that was strange, right, to think, Okay, well this year we're gonna have a little more normal. We're talking about this Christmas, right, Yeah. 00:38:39 Speaker 2: That was first Christmas back two months ago or ago or. 00:38:43 Speaker 3: Whatever, and I didn't see anybody really except for family because of the new feeling of danger again. 00:38:49 Speaker 2: Yes, this new surge. And it was also like back to the first flight after vaccination, was it felt a little dangerous, but it was also I was so excited to be on a plane to have that option. And then this Christmas one, I was like, oh, yeah, this is the worst. I despise this form of travel. It took me essentially as long to fly to Utah as it would have to drive because of all of the delays. It ate a breakfast burrito in an airport. It was just every horrible thing that could have possibly happened did And I'm against it again. 00:39:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, because for me, are you feeling like you need to travel at all? Really? 00:39:28 Speaker 2: Because here for something that's not Los Angeles or Salt Lake, that would be nice. Yeah, but who knows when that'll happen. 00:39:37 Speaker 3: I know, I feel like I've been waiting on a vacation for two years. 00:39:40 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:39:40 Speaker 3: But the truth is, like I mentioned, I did go to Glacier National Park and that really was a vacation. Never been and my friend had her family had a home there for many years, and so we got to stay there and it was gorgeous. Went dog sledding for the first time. 00:39:56 Speaker 2: You went dog sledding? 00:39:58 Speaker 3: Yeah, I never done such a thing. And you know there because I think too. I was such a little animal lover as a kid. I wanted to be a veterinarian. That type of thing actually would make me think, oh, no, we're hurting them right. No, I don't know dog sledding, but being there and stuff, I don't know. They seem to just absolutely love it. They all bark like crazy to get chosen to go on the ride. And while we were there, a little baby was born and the owner was carrying the pup around in this pocket named Stitch, and my friend Katie was with us just went back because she moved there after we went there, because she loved it so much. 00:40:34 Speaker 4: Hooked. 00:40:35 Speaker 3: Yeah, she went back for more to the dog place and shot us a picture of Stitch all grown up. 00:40:41 Speaker 2: Oh that's so sweet. Wait, so walk me through this dog sledding thing. This is fascinating. Do you just have Are you the only person on the sled? 00:40:51 Speaker 3: So you are. I was with my friend Nora, and usually the bigger, stronger person goes in the back, so I was like the daddy in the back, and she was, you know, like a kind of similar. Well, I guess in a sled you might go crisscross with your legs. Anyway, I'm like behind her like this, my legs are in a V. And then she sits in my crunch and lays back and they zip you up basically and like the kind of sled. And then the guy is behind you, standing on the back of the sled and he does have I'm like, does he have brains to pull on bust? 00:41:28 Speaker 2: Right? 00:41:28 Speaker 3: Yeah? I feel like maybe he does. But they listen to him and his voice was just so deep and gravelly, and he like he rewards them with you know, ad boy, you're a good dog boy like that, and they don't. I will say that one of the more shocking moments was the dogs go to the bathroom even while they're running. 00:41:54 Speaker 4: Of course I've never thought about, Yeah. 00:41:56 Speaker 3: You know, Doris has a poop catcher behind it. But these dogs, it's like it's going right in your face, just cold wind and just just airborne diarrhea. 00:42:07 Speaker 2: And and your arms are trapped. 00:42:09 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're pretty much trapped. 00:42:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, so what are you doing to protect your face? 00:42:13 Speaker 3: Thankfully Nora was in front of me, so I just kind of hidden her panting provy smell. But yeah, and it's not like, of course, flying in your face like a sick dogs. No, but they are like they have They're like the front legs are running and the back ones are going like like because they're still running, so they're like side side side side side, a little dance while they go. 00:42:36 Speaker 2: And how many dogs are there? 00:42:38 Speaker 3: I think about eight? 00:42:40 Speaker 2: Whoa, so there are just eight dogs running and shitting while you're kind of trapped. 00:42:44 Speaker 3: I think I only had two ships. 00:42:46 Speaker 2: Okay, I mean that's too too many. 00:42:48 Speaker 3: Yeah, two ships in the wind, I agree. And one of them was bloody, And of course the guy was like, oh my god, she's been having some problems and I was like, oh my lord, oh yeah, that role and you're not sitting well with her? Was like, okay, I'm glad. I'm a drink girl. I think I'm going to get this part wrong. It was like a figure eight sort of thing around their property, but like you know, massive, no, no, no, I was gonna say, maybe it's a two mile ring or something like. It was long enough, but by the end you were pretty much ready to be done. Have yeah, have you ever been horseback riding? 00:43:32 Speaker 2: I went once in I want to say, fourth grade. Okay, I had a wonderful time. 00:43:38 Speaker 3: I've been twice as an adult out. 00:43:40 Speaker 2: Here out just in Los Angeles. 00:43:43 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:43:43 Speaker 3: I just decided to do it because I you know, I never did it. I did it once at a birthday party in like third grade or something. But similarly, like once you're done, like you've kind of reached your cap and you kind of want to get off and get back to land. So it's like a movement thing that you're like. 00:43:59 Speaker 2: Okay, something jolted. 00:44:02 Speaker 3: I really yeah, I kind of want to show you a pick. 00:44:04 Speaker 2: But where were you riding horses? In Los Angeles? 00:44:09 Speaker 3: Malibu riders. I do recommend it. There's really no training, you just hop on. I went with the Tiffany and Danielle putter Ball. We made it a habit. This is the It would have been year three if we went so we're due for a ride because this will be year three, around the new year that we've gone. But last time they got a little crazy. We did a new trail and we got a lost control. They like kind of broke away, and we all thought we were gonna die. We were like on the edge of a trail in the mountains of Malibu, and I look back and they're like petite little women, especially Tiffany. It looked like a muppet on the back of a horse. You're just like, you know, we were just like I kind of felt like I was going to fall off the side of the mountain. And then afterwards, of course, once I survived, I couldn't stop laughing. Once I knew I wasn't gonna. 00:44:59 Speaker 2: I've heard they give like you can get on a horse and they'll like give you a tour of the old set for mash or something. It feels like a decent Los Angeles. I might be making that up too, all right, Okay, I think we're gonna play a game. Oh we're gonna play a game called What's My Gift Master? So I need a number between one and ten from you. 00:45:21 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go nine. 00:45:22 Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do some calculating. I have to get the game pieces. So while I do that, you can recommend something, you can promote something, you have the mic. I'll be right back. 00:45:33 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness. Okay, So I'm obviously going to promote that you all watch my stand up special. It's called Girl Daddy and it's on HBO Max. I also have a half hour on Netflix the stand Ups, Season one, episode five. I think that's all the things that I would like you to watch. The other stuff is pure garbage. And all the comics lately have been so happy, like they up in arms, like they took our albums off Spotify and iTunes or something, and I'm over here like thank god, I hated those. So yeah, and I also just got this for Christmas. I haven't opened it yet. As you know, I was talking about santalk earlier. That's a good reef. And I just got thrown a Burke's new book Unbound. 00:46:19 Speaker 2: Those are good recommendations. Yeah, Okay, this is how gift master works. I'm going to name three gifts, three items you can give away. Then I'm going to name three celebrities, and you're going to tell me which celebrity you'll give which gift, and why does that make sense? 00:46:34 Speaker 3: M hm. 00:46:35 Speaker 2: Okay, the three gifts you'll be giving are Number one, this is an experienced gift. This is a fall from grace, so the person will have a complete fall from grace. 00:46:47 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:46:47 Speaker 2: Number two is over five hundred dollars in valuable coupon. That's just those could be to any retailer you know that discounts on various goods and services. And number two three, this is a this is a decent gift. I mean it's a piece of real estate. It's a condo in Houston. 00:47:06 Speaker 3: Mmmm. 00:47:07 Speaker 2: Okay, so those you'll be giving those two the following people. Let's scroll through the Google doc that grows with each passing day. Let's see here. Okay, the celebrities are none other than Jennifer Lopez, and we've got Julie Chen Moonvez who is kind of hosting Big Brother. And finally, Joel Ostein. 00:47:32 Speaker 3: Okay, well, arguably Joel Ostein has fallen from grace several times. I'll give one more fall from grace just and hope that he clinks down to hell. What's a prominent fall from Yeah, this man? After after I bring up sand talk and how people should be able to re enter society after paying for their transgressions. Yeah, but that is like a new level of righteous. Gemstone was like, what was that Steve Martin movie about? You know what I'm saying? Oh, not living on a prayer faith something? 00:48:09 Speaker 2: I never saw that movie. 00:48:10 Speaker 3: Oh god, it was like one of my favorite movies as a kid, and I would be interested in rewatching it. Now. 00:48:15 Speaker 2: Does he play like a pastor? 00:48:17 Speaker 3: He does a bit of a bit of a crooked one. I think it's called Leap of Faith, a nineteen ninety two film, and. 00:48:25 Speaker 2: I just never heard of it. 00:48:27 Speaker 3: Well, I loved it so and I think I'm right it's ringing a bell. I'm sure that's correct. AnyWho, So I'm gonna give Joel. I'm gonna give Joel that fault from Grace because I don't think Julie deserves it. I don't watch Big Brother, but it doesn't feel like she deserves it. And j Loo's I feel like, would be so messy. I feel like we find out all kinds of stuff we do not want to know. 00:48:48 Speaker 2: All right, we need to keep j Loo exactly what we think she is. 00:48:52 Speaker 3: Yeah, and give her the condo in Houston you know, well, in case they have another one of those freezeovers, then she'll say, I'm to take care of the community and give everybody heaters and stuff. 00:49:03 Speaker 2: She has the money, she could use that as her h Q. 00:49:06 Speaker 3: Yeah, and then maybe that will bring a head to head with Ted Cruz and j lo oh, and I'd love to see them face. 00:49:13 Speaker 2: Off for her to just crush Ted Cruz exactly, absolutely stamp him out. 00:49:19 Speaker 3: And then Julie is going to get those valued five dollars value of coupons just because I feel like big brother does not have good craft services and she's going to need a snack from William's Sonoma or what's another place? Gosh see, I'm brain dead. Where would you send people? Remember the New York Adult not Doulceian Cabana. 00:49:43 Speaker 2: I know what you're talking, Luca Denon de Luca, thank. 00:49:48 Speaker 3: You so much. 00:49:49 Speaker 2: I mean, we got it there. 00:49:50 Speaker 3: I think if yeah, I'm going to start doing writing interviews again, like for a new writing job, and be like I'm actually a team Bridger Wenger. I don't know if you know him, and he doesn't know it, but I do need him to finish my sentences because it's a guessing game. Really, I'm gonna pitch good stuff, but it's gonna come out of his mouth. 00:50:10 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna need to crutch slight memory crutch. I'm fine with that. I'm fine. Let's work as a team as our brains just absolutely turned to mush. But I think that was excellently played. I can see Julie with a big coupon book in her purse, just whipping that thing out to save like fifty cents off a candy bar, you know, getting a little discount on some detergent or something. Wonderfully played, and Joel ostein let's let's you know, zero in on a fall from grace that works for him is time. I feel like the most recent one is they found all this money in his behind the toilet in his church or something, and it was like, what's happening in this man's life? 00:50:57 Speaker 3: I know, I'm like righteous jumped on. Should probably just pull from the news truth I should. 00:51:04 Speaker 2: Okay, it's time for the final segment of the podcast. This is called I said no emails, people write in too, I said no gifts at gmail dot com. They have issues, They've got problems. I mean, it's a little embarrassing at this point that so many of my listeners have so many issues and things that they can't just deal with on their own. But I do what I can. So would you help me answer a question I would love to? Okay, let's read this. It says, Dear Bridger and Guest, I have a friend who I think you would find to be incredibly infuriating. She dog sits my dog for free, drives me to and from lax although I frequently protest, will not let me pay for her food when we go out. She even sometimes sneakily pays the bill when I'm in the restroom, and does a whole host of other two kind activities. I have no idea how to repay her. I frequently send her gifts, for example, supermarket sweep, sweatshirts, hours, fancy kendles, and soaps and chocolates. You get the gist to repay her, but she continues to be thoughtful and I constantly feel indebted to her. Do I keep getting her gifts? Do I get her one big gift to really reset my friend guilt? 00:52:14 Speaker 4: What do I do? 00:52:15 Speaker 2: And if yes to gifts? She enjoys the housewives, hiking, going to the beach, her hometown of Philadelphia, and anything, come for your cozy. Thank you for your help, Sam, Sam. First off, I just this is a whatever's happening in this relationship? She has you trapped, You have her trapped, to kill her, that's the first thought. But if we don't want this to end. 00:52:38 Speaker 4: In murder, marry that person. Mary. 00:52:42 Speaker 3: I mean, you guys are dating. I don't know if you know this, but you are officially a couple. That is crazy. I want I send Sam my way right over said send. Oh wait, no, not Sam. We didn't get that person's name. 00:53:02 Speaker 2: The other person is, Yeah, I assume the other person is named Patty. Patty, Thank you? 00:53:08 Speaker 3: Send Patty right over. 00:53:11 Speaker 2: Uh. Just the fact that Patty is driving Sam to Lax is above and beyond. Yes, even what a partner can provide. 00:53:19 Speaker 3: Has has Sam asked if they're trying to fuck? I mean, is this a long game? What is this? Actually? 00:53:28 Speaker 2: Is just kind of sad and waiting for this to become a relationship. And meanwhile Sam is dropping off supermarket sweep sweatshirts. 00:53:37 Speaker 3: Exactly, And by the way, that wasn't even listed in one of their likes. So was that just from your screener gift package. 00:53:47 Speaker 2: I would love to get a screener for supermarkets. 00:53:49 Speaker 3: I would to a tiny little a tiny little grocery cart that you can maybe keep on your desk and put I don't know, Roseanne's coucheballs or or some pens erasers maybe have some lend. 00:54:04 Speaker 2: Spray Rosanne's coushballs. Oh goddamn, I would love for Roseanne to coptush. 00:54:16 Speaker 3: Okay, let this podcast stand on the record as the early onset stages for me of brain degradation. 00:54:28 Speaker 2: It was the first real sign that Beth was going away. 00:54:31 Speaker 3: I know, and honestly I am a little scared because that these types of things, it's like our job. 00:54:37 Speaker 2: Oh of course my brain isn't operating, and that's my only kind of skill. Yeah, I don't don't have anything else to offer anyone. But look, Sam, let's see. So the problem is Sam is clearly taking advantage of Patty. I mean, getting the rides to the airport, obviously, going to the rest room when the bill comes and waiting there until it gets paid. We know that's exactly what's going on there. And then just then a whole host of other two kind activities. I don't even know what that means is you're cleaning your house. 00:55:12 Speaker 3: That sounds right, car wash, car detailing, walking the dog. This is wild. 00:55:22 Speaker 2: And so she's and then she's kind of giving her candles, which we all know is kind of just a universally generic gift. And meanwhile, she does know her interests, she knows everything that makes Patty tick, and she's withholding. 00:55:39 Speaker 3: Well, Sam, looks like you need to send some Luna and average pajamas. 00:55:44 Speaker 2: To Mattie not bored wedding ring. 00:55:49 Speaker 3: Yeah, and that's our answer. 00:55:51 Speaker 2: Ask Patty if she wants to adopt a kid, I don't know, get this family started, yes. 00:55:57 Speaker 3: And send picks or a new car, maybe a. 00:56:02 Speaker 2: New car, a new car. That's not a bad idea. 00:56:04 Speaker 3: You're in it enough already, Sam. 00:56:06 Speaker 2: Right, you've I mean, you've put so many miles on this car going to lax or Patty. My heart's breaking for Patty, you too, I really need to know, but also grow a spine. Patty. This is you sound kind of you know, needy, and you're You've got to stand up for yourself and say I love you. Sam. Well, we answered the question perfectly. I mean, God bless both of us if it weren't for us, Sam and Patty would continue this kind of toxic thing they've got going for years and then you know, die without ever telling the other one how they felt. And what a shame that would be, truly, But what a wonderful time I've had with you here. And now I've got this this sleep aid for flights. I mean, it's going to evolutionize the way I travel. 00:57:01 Speaker 3: I'm so excited for you. And you'll have to update me on the next flight how it goes, and don't forget it, don't forget the turtle or to update me. 00:57:11 Speaker 2: I'm gonna take my Luigi's mansion. I'll play a little bit of that, add some elevator buttons, and then I fall into a deep slumber and continue to dream about Luigi. Who knows. 00:57:25 Speaker 3: He love your voice. 00:57:26 Speaker 2: Oh God, bless you well. Thank you so much for being here, and I really do wish you all of the luck in the world. With Luigi's mansion, I want you to climb them out that mountain. 00:57:39 Speaker 3: I'm gonna try. I'm gonna get back in. 00:57:41 Speaker 2: There, Beth, Thank you and listener, We've, as usual, come to the end of the podcast and I'm trying to train you in a way that you kind of during while listening and being engaged in the podcast, also think about what the rest of your day looks like. So I don't I'm not throwing you off the cliff at the end here, So hopefully you're getting better at that. And now you're ready to go. You know, I don't know what do people do anymore? Go on a walk? 00:58:12 Speaker 3: Yeah, give a ride to the airport. 00:58:16 Speaker 2: Go pick up Sam Patty and you know, take her. You've got that forty five to an hour minute hour long drive to the airport. Use that time to talk to Sam, let her know how you feel. And hopefully Sam doesn't have some terrible gift. Hopefully she doesn't end you a candle at the end as she gets off on her luxury vacation with I assume she's alone. Sam. I don't know. Look, it's the end of the podcast. Take care of yourself. I'll talk to you next week. Bye bye. I Said No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced and engineered by our dear friend Annalise Nelson and the theme song is by miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram at I Said No Gifts that's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting. You have to see the gifts. Listen and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or wherever you found me, and why not leave a review while you're there. It's really the least you could do considering everything I do for you. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, go to midrol dot com slash ads. 00:59:37 Speaker 3: Hell invit did you hear. 00:59:41 Speaker 1: Funna? 00:59:42 Speaker 2: Man? 00:59:42 Speaker 1: Myself perfectly clear? 00:59:45 Speaker 3: But you're a guest to me. 00:59:50 Speaker 1: You gotta come to me empty, and I said, no guests, your presences, presents, and I already had too much stuff. So how do you dare to surbave me