WEBVTT - But You Say She's Just A Friend 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.159 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio 0:00:03.279 --> 0:00:06.440 and The Black Effect. 0:00:15.880 --> 0:00:17.599 And just like that, we're back on the air. 0:00:17.640 --> 0:00:19.919 Welcome back to you another carefully reckless episode with your 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:21.000 girl Jeffs hilarious. 0:00:21.040 --> 0:00:22.720 What I'll be doing, I'll be fixing mess. 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:24.760 I want to also say, if you have not gotten 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:28.240 your tickets for the second annual Black Effect podcast Hostibal, 0:00:28.400 --> 0:00:29.400 get your tickets. 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:30.520 From event bright right now. 0:00:31.600 --> 0:00:33.919 I think the VIP is sold out and it's not 0:00:34.000 --> 0:00:36.519 too late to pitch your podcast. God, it's gonna be 0:00:36.880 --> 0:00:39.080 me live on that stage fixing people's mess. 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:40.800 And look how I plan to do it. 0:00:41.320 --> 0:00:45.520 I literally am gonna pick people from the audience did 0:00:45.560 --> 0:00:47.720 on the spot. I don't have anything pre planned or 0:00:47.760 --> 0:00:49.839 anything like that, because I feel like that's when I 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:52.960 thrive best. When I fix people's mess on the spot. 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:54.840 That's how I do it on Breakfast Club, That's how 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:56.800 I do it. When I'm picking these stories, I don't 0:00:56.800 --> 0:00:59.200 even read through all of the story as you can see, 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:02.480 because in the past so I got frustrated reading that shit. 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:07.440 Maybe I should pre read or you know, pre pick 0:01:07.480 --> 0:01:09.800 for the episodes, because I'll be irritated a shit when 0:01:09.920 --> 0:01:12.440 y'all can't spell, but that's the game. But I'm taking 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:15.360 But just because you can spell, don't mean I can't 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:17.640 fix your mass all right, So I want to let 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:21.840 y'all know y'all can still send voice memos whenever y'all 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:22.240 would like. 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:24.200 But if y'all don't, I do understand. 0:01:24.640 --> 0:01:26.920 But please, if I mess up your story, it's because 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:30.600 you're rote it wrong, all right. Now, speaking of voice memos, 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:33.040 we don't have any, so people are still writing me stuff, 0:01:33.319 --> 0:01:35.760 So I'm just gonna jump straight into it. Hija's my 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:37.880 husband and I have been married for four years. I 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:40.120 know my husband like the back of my hand. He's 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.039 my best friend. We were even best friends before we 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:46.479 got together. Recently, I noticed change in him. He would 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:48.320 really just kind of walk around the house kind of 0:01:48.320 --> 0:01:50.720 sluggish and not really have that big smile on his 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:53.720 face like he normally did. I feel like he's bored 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:56.080 with our relationship. I want to do things that'll bring 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:59.080 the spark back for him and just simply remind him 0:01:59.200 --> 0:02:01.080 why we fell in love or why he fall in 0:02:01.160 --> 0:02:03.520 love with me in the first place. Any suggestions on 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.440 how I can keep this man happy? Well, look, that 0:02:06.560 --> 0:02:10.320 was very short and simple, like what else is he feeling? 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:12.600 Did something recently happen? I feel like it's something that 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:15.080 you're leaving out. It could be a number of reasons, 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:17.600 you know what I'm saying, Like is he still giving 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:20.799 you that sexual attention that you need that women long 0:02:20.919 --> 0:02:23.240 for me because we're still human? Right, I mean, do 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:25.680 you get turned on? I mean, what's going on? Have 0:02:25.760 --> 0:02:29.760 you noticed something something else? Like does he get emotional 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:32.440 around certain times of the day, like after certain phone 0:02:32.480 --> 0:02:35.480 calls or whatever? Is everything okay with his family, with 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:38.560 work that he just recently lose a job? Like I mean, 0:02:38.560 --> 0:02:41.600 I'm not saying that you don't know. I mean, because 0:02:41.600 --> 0:02:44.000 nobody knows your partner like you. You understand what I'm saying. 0:02:44.040 --> 0:02:46.640 But I feel like you're leaving out certain things. So 0:02:46.919 --> 0:02:50.480 I wouldn't know how to even maneuver through this advice 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.760 or navigate through this advice if you don't really give 0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:57.040 me more meat on the bone. And then you're saying 0:02:57.080 --> 0:03:00.640 he was your best friend before. So to have a 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:03.000 best friend and to understand what that is, you got 0:03:03.000 --> 0:03:05.000 to know the ins and outs of a person, like 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:07.360 I have a best friend, been my best friend since 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:08.919 my son was what one year. 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:10.720 Old, like no, I was. Now, I met my best 0:03:10.760 --> 0:03:12.040 friend when I was pregnant. I'm tripping. 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:15.120 Me and Sheen have been best friends for eleven plus years. 0:03:15.120 --> 0:03:17.639 You get what I'm saying. So it's like I know 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:20.800 when something's wrong with her, even if she come around 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.000 me and be too quiet. And she got different quiets 0:03:23.000 --> 0:03:25.320 because Shena is an introvert, you get what I'm saying. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:28.000 So she got that quiet where something is bothering her 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:29.080 but she don't want to talk about it. And then 0:03:29.120 --> 0:03:30.880 she got that quiet when she's just sitting and observing. 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:32.960 You know what I'm saying, cause she she's a Libra and. 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:33.360 I don't know. 0:03:33.400 --> 0:03:35.760 You know, I'm not really big on ZODIAX, but trust me, 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:38.320 my best friend is a true Libra. And she will 0:03:38.360 --> 0:03:40.880 sit and be looking, but she's paying attention to everything. 0:03:40.920 --> 0:03:43.360 She won't say a word, but she pays attention to everything. 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.640 You get what I'm saying. She's a very introverted person. 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.680 But she's extroverted with me when it's just me and 0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:51.000 her old or with somebody that she knows. 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:52.280 You know, you gotta fully know Shena. 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.680 She like the scenery or whatever, and she'll open up 0:03:55.840 --> 0:03:59.080 around motherfucker she's comfortable with. So if this is your 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:03.160 best friend, not to compare best friend relationships, but if 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.680 this is your best friend, it would be beyond you 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.400 just noticing the little things like him not smiling as much, 0:04:09.880 --> 0:04:12.680 or him being kind of sluggish. It seems that he 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:14.320 is in a state of depression. I mean from the 0:04:14.360 --> 0:04:18.960 sluggish situation when somebody is sluggish, they're moving slow, and 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:19.719 they're inactive. 0:04:19.800 --> 0:04:20.599 You get what I'm saying. 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:24.480 So obviously something did happen. Did you do something that 0:04:24.520 --> 0:04:26.560 you don't think he knew about, or that you know 0:04:26.640 --> 0:04:29.240 you hit from him? You just got to give me 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:32.000 more goddamn meat on this bone, dammit, Like I need 0:04:32.040 --> 0:04:34.680 to know what's going on. I wouldn't question my whole 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:39.080 marriage because of this behavior. Because you're asking me any 0:04:39.120 --> 0:04:42.560 suggestions on how to keep this man happy. You're not 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.800 even really trying to get to the root of why 0:04:46.440 --> 0:04:48.400 he's even feeling this way in the first place. You 0:04:48.400 --> 0:04:52.039 get what I'm saying. So that's telling me maybe you 0:04:52.080 --> 0:04:55.760 did something wrong, and you get what I'm saying, Like, Nah, 0:04:56.120 --> 0:04:57.880 let's just see it for what it is, a little bit. 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:00.160 The fact that all right, let me read the the 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:01.680 end again, you said, I want to do things that 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:04.720 will bring that spark back for him and just simply 0:05:04.760 --> 0:05:06.440 remind him why he fell in love with me in 0:05:06.480 --> 0:05:09.400 the first place. Any suggestions on how to keep this 0:05:09.480 --> 0:05:13.440 man happy. This is like like you're trying to cover 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.400 up the problem, and you may be subconsciously doing that. 0:05:16.560 --> 0:05:19.000 You may not even know that that's what you're doing, 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:20.840 you know what I mean. But a best friend will 0:05:20.880 --> 0:05:23.880 get down to the bottom of what's going on wife. 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:26.039 He get down to the bottom of what's going on 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:29.440 in your marriage. You understand what I'm saying. Don't look 0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:31.400 at it as Okay, I gotta keep him happy. No 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:33.920 why you said in the first place, what's going on? 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.599 Bab It doesn't say here that you had to talk 0:05:36.640 --> 0:05:38.160 to him. I mean that you have talked to him 0:05:38.160 --> 0:05:41.960 about it. I always tell everybody communication is for everything, 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:45.880 not only in relationships. That's in friends, family work, kids, 0:05:45.920 --> 0:05:48.760 from kids to parents, from parents to kids, whatever, whatever 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:52.640 bond of friendship it is, communicate. You can communicate with strangers. 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:54.840 Keep that shit a hunted, you know what I mean. 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.920 Stop tiptoeing around motherfucker's feelings, and that's how you end 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:00.680 up miserable and unhappy and left in the world of 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:02.760 chaos because you're not saying something that you should have 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:06.039 been said. So you let everything play out and it 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:08.360 gets crazy. So definitely check back. 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:08.680 In with me. 0:06:08.960 --> 0:06:11.279 Give me more meat on his bone, girl, But talk 0:06:11.320 --> 0:06:13.200 to your man. Talk to your husband and figure out 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:16.600 what's wrong with him. Get to the root. And then 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:18.320 you try to figure out, all right, how can I 0:06:18.360 --> 0:06:20.320 get him back to this happy place? How can I 0:06:20.360 --> 0:06:21.760 get him to be cause he may still be in 0:06:21.800 --> 0:06:23.440 love with you, it's just something else going on. 0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:25.120 You get what I'm saying, So get. 0:06:25.000 --> 0:06:27.800 To that baby's not good with communicating his feelings or 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:30.200 expressing himself in those ways that could come from childhood, 0:06:30.440 --> 0:06:33.160 that can come from relationships with homeboys, that can come 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:38.120 from previous relationships. I really feel like, have a conversation 0:06:38.200 --> 0:06:40.880 with your best friend. Don't even go at him as 0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:43.840 a wife. Have a conversation with your best friend. Make 0:06:43.880 --> 0:06:46.839 it a safe environment for him to open up, you know, 0:06:46.880 --> 0:06:50.480 and then open up about the truth, and then ask him, Okay, 0:06:50.480 --> 0:06:54.559 what can y'all do together as best friends slash husband 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:55.800 and wife to get this together? 0:06:56.000 --> 0:06:56.400 You know what I mean? 0:06:56.440 --> 0:06:58.200 Because I'm over here thinking it's me, babe, and I 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.880 don't know what's going on. All I know is that smiling. 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:01.120 Like you used to. 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:05.320 You're moving slower. You're sluggish. You know you're inactive, and 0:07:05.360 --> 0:07:08.400 this ain't you. So what's wrong? Tell me like, I'm 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:10.400 your partner, I'm your best friend, I'm your everything. You know, 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:12.400 talk to your man, girl, but let me know. 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:14.880 Check back in. If you love me, you'll listen to 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:16.880 this commercial and then we'll be right back. 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:22.160 Okay, moving on, Jess. I just lost my little brother 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:25.000 about a year ago. He literally was everything to me, 0:07:25.480 --> 0:07:28.040 and I raised him like he was my own. I 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.200 know you can't put a time on grief and healing, 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:33.160 but I'm just tired of being sad. I see his 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.160 picture on my nightstand every day and just ball my 0:07:36.240 --> 0:07:39.000 eyes out. There are so many songs and so many 0:07:39.040 --> 0:07:41.520 things that I do in my routine that just reminds 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:42.000 me of him. 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:43.440 He's everywhere. 0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:45.840 You would think that would make me smile, but I 0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:48.280 feel like it just makes me more sad because he's 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:51.200 not here to share those moments with me. I want 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:53.160 to get back to my old self. I want to 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:55.120 be able to go with my friends again and listen 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:57.840 to those same songs without crying. I want to be 0:07:57.880 --> 0:08:01.240 able to do my daily routine without stopping to go 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:04.520 run and cry in the bathroom. Lol, ain't nothing funny, 0:08:04.520 --> 0:08:07.239 Trust me, baby, I hear you. I've never really lost 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.560 anyone this close to me, So this is a pain 0:08:09.640 --> 0:08:12.920 I've never endured before. Have you ever lost someone? What 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:16.800 did you give to grieve? Well, baby, yes, I can 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:20.120 tell you I have lost someone. However, I haven't lost 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:22.160 anybody in my immediate family, thank god. 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.720 So I really don't know what that feels like, you know. 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:28.720 And everybody plays different parts and different roles in your life, 0:08:28.800 --> 0:08:32.200 and you know, to some degree, the level of bondness 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:35.840 is different, you know. But I have lost friends, you know, 0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:42.000 I've lost family, and no loss is easy, you get 0:08:42.000 --> 0:08:45.640 what I'm saying. But it's only been a year, you know, 0:08:45.720 --> 0:08:47.880 So give yourself some grace a little bit. That's your 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:50.360 little brother. I don't know how you lost him, you know, 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:53.480 And that doesn't even matter the fact that he's just gone, 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:55.680 you know, and he's not coming back. And I know 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:59.080 that bothers you every day, But don't try to jump 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:03.080 back in your regular, everyday routine so quickly, you know, 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:05.240 like you said you want to go with your friends 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:05.440 and all. 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:06.720 Yeah, I'm not saying don't go. 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.520 Try to have a good time, for sure, but give 0:09:08.559 --> 0:09:10.200 yourself some grace if you do, got to run to 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:12.640 the bathroom and cry, that's your little brother again. 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:14.600 It's only been a year. 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:18.440 You know, you ain't the first person that wrote me 0:09:18.559 --> 0:09:21.360 about losing a close family member. People lose parents and 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:25.240 grieve for a decade, ten years. You know what I'm saying. 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.800 You only get one set of parents. You know, that's 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:30.400 your brother, your little brother, your baby brother. I imagine I 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:33.319 can imagine how close y'all were. Give yourself some grace. 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:38.920 Like my son's dad, Rome, Rome found his mother dead 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:41.360 when he was ten. You get what I'm saying. That 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:44.280 still haunts him. He still lives with that, He still 0:09:44.280 --> 0:09:46.959 holds on to that. Can't nobody tell him how to grieve. 0:09:47.000 --> 0:09:49.280 He never properly got to grieve when he was a kid. 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:52.360 He was ten. After he found her, he was pulled 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:55.320 out of that household and thrown into another one. You know, 0:09:55.600 --> 0:09:57.439 he had to go live with his dad and his stepmom. 0:09:57.640 --> 0:10:02.920 Completely different rules, completely different level of nurturing, completely different. 0:10:03.480 --> 0:10:05.400 You know, he went from having his own room to 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:08.040 sharing a room with his step brothers and his little brother. 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:12.120 You get what I'm saying, Like it's definitely a shock. 0:10:12.760 --> 0:10:16.000 It's a world you have to adapt to being without 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:20.320 somebody who you were just with every day, so sudden. 0:10:20.880 --> 0:10:25.480 I would say, give yourself some grace. I sympathize with you, 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:27.760 and I have a great level of empathy for you, 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:31.280 But give yourself some grace. Baby girl, everywhere you go 0:10:31.400 --> 0:10:33.520 you think of him everything you do. 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:35.520 Like you said, you see him everywhere. 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:38.480 Try to think of a good memory and then try 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.320 to also know that he wouldn't want you to be 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:43.320 said and depressed like this either. You get what I'm saying. 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:44.720 But if you have to do it, you do it. 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:47.000 It's all a part of grievance. Are you in some 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:48.880 type of therapy? Are you in some type of counseling? 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:53.040 Did your parents offer that to you, extend that to you? Look, 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:54.760 I need to go talk to somebody about this. It's 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:56.480 been a year and I feel like I should be 0:10:56.880 --> 0:10:59.120 not over it, but further than I am right now. 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.280 Mom and Dad, you know what I'm saying. How old 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:01.520 are you? 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:02.920 I would love to know how old are you? How 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:05.480 old was your little brother, and I want you to 0:11:05.480 --> 0:11:07.880 give yourself some grades. Like you said, Okay, you see 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:09.600 his picture on your knight stand every day, you just 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:12.160 boil your eyes out. Put the picture somewhere else. You 0:11:12.160 --> 0:11:14.760 know what I'm saying. That's not erasing them, and don't 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:17.280 feel bad about it. That's not erasing them until you're 0:11:17.320 --> 0:11:19.120 ready to see a picture of him and not cry. 0:11:19.880 --> 0:11:22.200 I think it's you know, you should just put it 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.840 in the drawer or put it somewhere else. Put it 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.080 in the bathroom, put it in you know. That's what 0:11:27.080 --> 0:11:28.480 you see when you open your eyes, that's what you 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:29.560 see before you close them. 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:30.480 I get it. 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.640 I can only imagine that you're probably having dreams about 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:35.720 him as well. It's your brother, man, you know. So 0:11:36.480 --> 0:11:40.360 I want you to understand it is totally normal what 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:42.560 you're going through and not totally get it. 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.960 All right, Just check back in with me and let 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:50.200 me know moving on. Hey, Jess, could we keep this 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:50.839 between us? 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:53.520 No face, no case, Gerda can't see your damn face 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:56.120 on a podcast anyway. Girl, And I'm not going to 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:59.960 say your name. Okay, let me cut straight to the chase, please. 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:04.200 I am in love with my best friend whoa we 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.040 have been best friends since we were five. She's an amazing, 0:12:07.120 --> 0:12:10.199 beautiful woman. Every time we're together, our dynamic and our 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:12.960 energy is just insane, and I always have thought in 0:12:13.000 --> 0:12:15.080 the back of my head like we would be great together. 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:17.920 I just recently got some clarity all my feelings for her, 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:20.600 so it's been harder to hide it. Okay, so you've 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:22.360 been showing a girl I like you, bit y'all, won't 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:26.160 you come here? She's also in a relationship, ad damn, 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:27.920 so that makes it even harder. 0:12:28.440 --> 0:12:28.600 Now. 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:31.080 I've seen her in plenty of relationships, but this one, 0:12:31.280 --> 0:12:33.360 I think this is the one I might actually lose 0:12:33.400 --> 0:12:36.959 her too. I don't want to actually lose her, though, 0:12:37.320 --> 0:12:39.000 but I also don't want to push her away with 0:12:39.000 --> 0:12:41.120 telling her how I feel. And then she's also in 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:43.839 a relationship, so I don't know how she would take it. 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:46.320 I wouldn't want to lose my best friend just because 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:48.280 I can't be with her, so I always try to 0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:49.560 put her feelings first. 0:12:49.840 --> 0:12:50.800 But I don't know, Jess. 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:53.160 My feelings get stronger for this girl every time I 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:55.560 look at her, and it's starting to really kill me. 0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:59.520 Okay, Jesus up, hold up. 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:01.920 I noticed getting good, but listen to just a couple 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:03.000 seconds of a commercial. 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:08.240 If you love me, you'll listen, all right, So listen. 0:13:08.520 --> 0:13:09.560 It's two sides to this. 0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:12.480 She's in a relationship now you think this is the 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:15.360 one that you could actually lose her to. That means 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:17.800 she's happy, That means she's thriving. I mean, this is 0:13:18.040 --> 0:13:21.240 obviously the best person for her that she's had out 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:23.959 of all the relationships you've seen her through. And then 0:13:24.000 --> 0:13:26.640 you're honestly her confidant because that's how you know everything 0:13:27.440 --> 0:13:30.160 about her and all these relationships and moving forward. You know, 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.600 you said she's an amazing, strong, beautiful woman, all of 0:13:33.600 --> 0:13:34.600 that that you've admired. 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:36.440 You know, you've known each other since y'all was five 0:13:36.480 --> 0:13:37.200 and shit like that. 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.200 So this is an interesting factor, you know, and it 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.839 plays a part in why you would fall in love 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:44.960 with her because you know her so well. However, she 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:48.720 is in a relationship and maybe she doesn't look at 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:51.080 you the way you look at her now. Is that 0:13:51.160 --> 0:13:54.880 is like the harsh reality here right now. The other 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:58.240 side of it is you do love her, You're in 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.640 love with her, and you don't know if she feels 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:03.040 that week because you've obviously never told her how you 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:06.000 feel about her. So this is obviously a gamble and 0:14:06.040 --> 0:14:10.120 a big toss up between like your feelings versus your mind, 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:12.760 because your mind is telling you know, but your feelings 0:14:12.840 --> 0:14:14.880 in your heart is like, YO, tell this girl, right, 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.480 but this is what I don't want to happen, same 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:18.839 thing you don't want to happen. You don't want to 0:14:18.840 --> 0:14:21.360 tell her about these feelings that you've always had for her, 0:14:21.400 --> 0:14:23.400 and shit, and then you risk losing her. 0:14:23.480 --> 0:14:25.760 She looks at you like a weirdo and all that. 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:26.840 Not a weirdo, but it's. 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.440 Like, damn, you like me the whole time, and you 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:30.720 sit back and you kept it from me, and now 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.280 I'm in this relationship and that you know that could 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:37.440 potentially fuck up things between you. But since I'm always 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:41.280 an advocate for honesty and for people telling the truth 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:47.680 about everything, oh gosh, I would say, meet up with 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:49.400 her and talk to her, but talk to her as 0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:52.000 your best friend. Don't talk to her as somebody that's 0:14:52.000 --> 0:14:54.240 trying to court her because she's still in a relationship. 0:14:54.400 --> 0:14:56.360 I think it just needs to be an innocent conversation 0:14:56.440 --> 0:14:57.760 of you coming. 0:14:57.520 --> 0:14:58.640 Forward with how you feel. 0:14:58.720 --> 0:15:00.960 You get what I'm saying because you having this agony 0:15:01.240 --> 0:15:04.360 and pain and shit, you laying at night in your 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:06.600 bed and you thinking about her, and she was somebody else, 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:08.560 you know, But this is your best friend. So this 0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:10.240 is something that you should have been brought to our 0:15:10.280 --> 0:15:12.960 attention when she was in between relationships. You had all 0:15:13.000 --> 0:15:15.360 the fucking time and opportunity in the world. You've been 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:18.000 knowing her since she was five. God damn it, Lord, 0:15:19.160 --> 0:15:22.640 but I think you should go to where look y'all 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:24.960 stand down somewhere, I mean, it could be private or whatever, 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.560 and be like, look, I know you're in a relationship. 0:15:27.600 --> 0:15:29.080 I know that you are happy, and I know this 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:30.920 is not going to be easy when I'm about to 0:15:30.920 --> 0:15:34.120 tell you, and you probably may even look at me 0:15:34.280 --> 0:15:35.360 differently after this. 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:37.520 But I've always had a thing for you. 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:39.600 You know, I know you, I know you in and out. 0:15:39.600 --> 0:15:42.640 You're my best friend, and that's what you were before. 0:15:43.000 --> 0:15:45.520 You know, my best friend. I know you you know 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:47.880 me or whatever. I got to grow with you. I've 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:52.320 gotten to see how amazing you are. You know, we've 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:54.240 known each other for so long. I feel like you 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:55.960 know you're my other half. You know what I'm saying, 0:15:56.000 --> 0:15:58.360 And I just feel like I haven't said this because 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:01.800 I didn't want this to be weird to you, or 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:04.640 I just didn't you know, I didn't know how to 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:07.360 express my feelings in this way because we've always had 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:10.760 a friend to friend best friend relationship. We've never had 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.760 a relationship like this, you know, where I can tell 0:16:13.800 --> 0:16:16.960 you for sure, like, Yo, I'm feeling you, you know, 0:16:17.080 --> 0:16:19.480 but I'm in love with you, and I know you're 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:22.360 in a relationship. But I've been battling this and I 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:24.040 just wanted to get it off my chest. 0:16:24.320 --> 0:16:25.200 See what she say. 0:16:26.080 --> 0:16:28.000 Now, it's totally up to you if you want to 0:16:28.000 --> 0:16:30.960 throw the part in there where you're like, I feel 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:32.960 like I may lose you to the person that you're 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:36.560 with now, because god damn it, that's treading on ice. 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:38.240 You are chapped. 0:16:40.200 --> 0:16:42.360 You just don't want it to be weird, you know 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:45.320 what I mean? You just you really don't want it 0:16:45.360 --> 0:16:48.400 to be fucking weird. And listen, I get it, but 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:50.600 you gotta tell her how you feel, just to get 0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:51.440 it off your chest. 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:55.200 Don't add that part in there, like I said, the. 0:16:55.200 --> 0:16:56.960 Person, I feel like I'm about to lose you because 0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:59.040 it's like, nah, that's still your best friend, but just 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:02.520 because you're in love with her, don't mean that that's 0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:05.439 how she look at you. You know what I'm saying, 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.040 This is kind of your fault, my nigga. I'm gonna 0:17:08.040 --> 0:17:09.920 be honest with you. This is your fault. You less 0:17:09.920 --> 0:17:13.080 shit goes so far. You let her get into another 0:17:13.200 --> 0:17:17.000 relationship after you just saying her through many you know 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.640 what I mean? And how many has she seen you through? 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:20.199 You know? 0:17:21.080 --> 0:17:22.560 I think you keep that a buck with her. 0:17:23.119 --> 0:17:24.960 Sit her down and then check back in with me 0:17:25.000 --> 0:17:27.240 and let me know how that shit went down, Polise, 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:29.600 let me know how that shit went down, all right? 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:32.760 And just like that, we've come to yet the end 0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.400 of another Catholic Records episode with your girl. Just hilarious. 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:37.280