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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast,

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Speaker 1: Elvis Presents fifteen minute Morning Show. Everyone say good morning too,

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Speaker 1: or good afternoon or good evening to Uncle Johnny. Hello, lady,

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Speaker 1: how are you Uncle Johnny? What are you doing right now?

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Speaker 1: I'm just sitting and watching TV having a cup of coffee.

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Speaker 1: When it was him, Bucca. I have a theory. I

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Speaker 1: think Uncle Johnny's lonely? Are you saying because Uncle Johnny

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Speaker 1: actually answered the call when he saw it was an

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Speaker 1: eight hundred number. If I saw an eight hundred number

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Speaker 1: calling me, I would ignore the hell. I answer all

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Speaker 1: the phone calls to come in, and they say right

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Speaker 1: on the screen on my TV screen, and if they're

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Speaker 1: out of town or unavailable ready, I answer them, all answers,

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Speaker 1: all calls. Uncle Johnny loves, he loves, he loves to

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Speaker 1: play with them. Your telemarket is dream I do. I

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Speaker 1: do like phone taps. We do the phone taps. I

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Speaker 1: play with them and I see if I can get

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Speaker 1: him aggravated or crazy, very easy, like he's done that

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Speaker 1: for us all these years. Okay, so Uncle Johnny, by

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Speaker 1: the way, and we've caught him giving his social Security

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Speaker 1: number to people from Japan. Uncle Johnny. We're doing our

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Speaker 1: fifteen minute morning show podcast. You've never been on. We

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Speaker 1: haven't been on this in a while, so we wanted

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Speaker 1: to welcome you back. Oh thank you. Hello everybody. So

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Speaker 1: let me tell you. Around the table. We have Samantha

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Speaker 1: Sam is here, producer Sam. I love Sam. They're scary,

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Speaker 1: you know what's going on, unc scary. There's Dave Brodie. Hello,

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Speaker 1: we love Dave. Whoa he didn't say I love, he

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Speaker 1: said we love. We do. And also there's I love

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Speaker 1: my whole family. The Greg t is here. I love

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Speaker 1: my Gregg. That's my son. Right. Here's Garrett Garrett is here. Hi, Johnny,

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Speaker 1: Hey Garrett Garrett. All right. Here's Danielle Hi, and Danielle.

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Speaker 1: We love Danielle. Right and eight Hi Uncle Johnny. Hey,

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Speaker 1: straight Ny now everyone. So I was telling them about

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Speaker 1: our adventure yesterday at Del Frisco's for our huge Eastern lunch.

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Speaker 1: Oh bacon, Yeah, they had great. That bacon was unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: But I was talking about the very conservative family that

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Speaker 1: was sitting at the table next to ours while we

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Speaker 1: were getting all snots sling and drunk. They were over there,

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Speaker 1: That's true. They were so quiet and they came in

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Speaker 1: and they set people all around us. I was wondering

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Speaker 1: why they would do in that. They were sitting to

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Speaker 1: quiet people around us, and we were very loud and

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Speaker 1: we were had We had a great lunch, didn't we

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Speaker 1: We had the best time, really was. It was like

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Speaker 1: being with family. Family, So you know, that's that's that's

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Speaker 1: how I guess. But my favorite is after a couple

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Speaker 1: of cocktails, we're talking about, you know, being allergic to shellfish,

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Speaker 1: and the lady was waiting on and said, well, I'll

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Speaker 1: bring out an EpiPen and Uncle Johnny will tell you

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Speaker 1: know what he said, What did you say? Once? You

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Speaker 1: said eppiepen? That's what they called me and junior high

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Speaker 1: school epi pen exactly, I think it was. That was

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Speaker 1: to my teenage. Yeah, he was really drunk already anyway.

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Speaker 1: So the family next it was like, but didn't you

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Speaker 1: want to go over there and talk to them? When

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Speaker 1: you see a quiet, conservative family, don't you want to

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Speaker 1: go over there? And kind of up. I was going

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Speaker 1: to go over and say hell about everybody there? Yeah, see,

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Speaker 1: that's what I was gonna ask, because I know Johnny

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Speaker 1: after a while, when he notices people are quiet, and

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Speaker 1: he's had a few drinks. He makes he goes over

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Speaker 1: to them, he makes it, he makes them welcome as

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Speaker 1: if he's he's the host of the party, no matter

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Speaker 1: where he is. So I was expecting you to say, say,

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Speaker 1: Johnny went over to hang out with these people. Well,

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Speaker 1: the problem with that is sometimes Johnny is overserved and

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Speaker 1: says things he shouldn't say. What he said that that

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Speaker 1: time to the table next to ours? What did I say?

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Speaker 1: I could get It was two couples. They were out

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Speaker 1: on a date to to uh two couples. Uh. And

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Speaker 1: in the middle of our he was so drunk he

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Speaker 1: turns around and says, Ah, do any of you girls

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Speaker 1: over here eat? I did? Yes, you did? Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So we're a table of a people going, how do

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Speaker 1: you get out of that? Oh my god, Johnny? What

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Speaker 1: do you think you said? What? Who? You? What did

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Speaker 1: I Johnny didn't say anything to them? You don't remember

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Speaker 1: saying that to Day of Walkers, No, I don't not.

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Speaker 1: It came up with reason why I would say that,

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Speaker 1: But you did. Hold on, hold on to say, why

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Speaker 1: are you so appalled? David Brody um because we went

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Speaker 1: there ten minute morning show is usually full of decorum,

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Speaker 1: and no, it's not that, you know what. I have

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Speaker 1: to be honest, it's weird hearing him says, I know,

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Speaker 1: but we're gonna we're gonna beat it out. We have

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Speaker 1: to put it. We have to put a beat. It's

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Speaker 1: like me talking about eating vegetables. Don happened. So it

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Speaker 1: sounds weird when I talk about it. Why anyway, the

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Speaker 1: whole the whole point is this. Sometimes when when Uncle

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Speaker 1: Johnny and Garrett, right, when Uncle Johnny sees someone who's

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Speaker 1: too quiet, he will go to the ends of the

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Speaker 1: earth to make them respond and react. I mean, and

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Speaker 1: you're you're you're actually a master at that, Uncle Johnny. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'd like doing I'd like meeting people and saying hi

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Speaker 1: to them, and I enjoy that pushing their buttons. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: a little. All right, anyway, so we have to let

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Speaker 1: you go. Now, Dave Brodie's board with the show's all right,

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Speaker 1: what do you want to talk about? What do you

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Speaker 1: want to talk about? I just said it was odd

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Speaker 1: hearing him talk about that. It is odd. That's my point. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's why I made a face, because it's weird. I

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Speaker 1: think that's what makes it. That's what makes it a

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Speaker 1: story show. That's the first time I've ever heard that

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Speaker 1: phrase in this room, recorded on microphones. Alight, from the

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Speaker 1: two people with the least amount of experience. You never

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Speaker 1: even Danielle's got more experiences on her own anyway, Are

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Speaker 1: you flexible on your own? Alright? Alright, right, okay, So anyway,

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Speaker 1: So Sam, what was your point? I can't hear you.

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Speaker 1: I was just asking what they responded with. I wanted

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Speaker 1: out how they were. They were appalled. And keep in mind,

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Speaker 1: sometimes when we take Uncle Johnny out, we have to

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Speaker 1: send him into time out. He gets he gets crazy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that's why I love him so much. He

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Speaker 1: reminds me of my great uncle Frank. Do we all

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Speaker 1: have one of those in our family? You talk about

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Speaker 1: your great uncle Frank. The last time I want to

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Speaker 1: eat with my great uncle Frank. He this is not okay,

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Speaker 1: But he pinched a waitresses but while she was passing,

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Speaker 1: and then when she looked at it, he goes high, sweetheart,

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Speaker 1: how are you seeing anybody like uncle Uncle Frank? Scary?

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Speaker 1: Don't you have any of those in your family? Deceased

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Speaker 1: uncle Yes, from my other side of the family, he

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Speaker 1: was pretty pretty Wait, when you say, your other side

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Speaker 1: of the family, my father's side. I'm not suppose my

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Speaker 1: cousins married each other. They're both the same side of

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Speaker 1: the family members only Jack, my cousin carm So yesterday

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Speaker 1: I spent with my mom's side of the family and

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Speaker 1: I was trying to jog my memory. No, no one

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Speaker 1: of my mom's side of the family does that kind

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Speaker 1: of stuff. But there is that crazy, wacky uncle from

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Speaker 1: my father's side of the family. We don't talk about

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Speaker 1: who's passed on, and he might have been a little

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Speaker 1: bit inappropriate. Yeah, you see, in my family, I'm the

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Speaker 1: inappropriate way. Come on, Brodie, don't do you have like

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Speaker 1: someone from way back when that everyone's like, oh, he

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Speaker 1: was a little off. Well, I had it. I had

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Speaker 1: an uncle who never married, and uh, when you went

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Speaker 1: over his house there were just stacks to the ceiling

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Speaker 1: of Playboy magazines and we didn't ask any questions. I'm

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Speaker 1: assuming he read a lot of articles. He loved to read.

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Speaker 1: He'd love to read. He was married to literature. He

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Speaker 1: was so when he when he passed away, I inherited

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Speaker 1: them all. Did she have mountains and stacks of Playboys?

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Speaker 1: By the way, that's why I read the mountains and

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Speaker 1: the stacks my garage. But yeah, so he was. He

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Speaker 1: was a little odd. He would come to the house.

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Speaker 1: He didn't say dirty things, but he would bring um

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Speaker 1: canned foods. He would just come to the house and

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Speaker 1: cants between the fies. Somebody want the family, Daniel, You

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Speaker 1: have any of those in your family? Yeah? I mean,

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Speaker 1: but it's funny because I feel like it was my aunts.

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Speaker 1: Like back in the day, my aunt who lives in Italy,

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Speaker 1: Like she would come into the house and she would

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Speaker 1: quit my booms and she would say, you didn't grow

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Speaker 1: anything yet or something like that. But that was like

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Speaker 1: years ago. Can you imagine if you were a guy

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Speaker 1: and she came in and grabbed your thing, She's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you really haven't grown yet. She probably would have. Isn't

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Speaker 1: that weird? They would do it to girls, whe they

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Speaker 1: wouldn't do it too boys. Thank god. Come on, great tea. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm the one in my family and I stand out

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Speaker 1: like a sore thumb. I say things that are inappropriate

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Speaker 1: on purpose to make people cringe. I I go over

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Speaker 1: the top till I till I started argument. Everybody starts

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Speaker 1: yelling and screaming at each other. And then I have fun,

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Speaker 1: I laugh and I walk away. It's just who I am.

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Speaker 1: We have I mean, every family has got like one

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Speaker 1: or two people that are a little bit odd, and

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Speaker 1: I mean both of them. Yeah, I guess. I mean

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Speaker 1: we have others in my family that we definitely talk

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Speaker 1: about behind their backs, like who's a close second to you?

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Speaker 1: And you No, I don't want to go there, because

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Speaker 1: sometimes you can't want. What's the psychological significance of somebody

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Speaker 1: who wants to come in and just light up a

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Speaker 1: room like that and just go balls to the wall.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just phone doing it. It seems

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Speaker 1: kind of simple. I mean, it's someone who just loves reaction.

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Speaker 1: They like pushing people's button. They don't realize it. And

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Speaker 1: I have I have cousins who sometimes say the most

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Speaker 1: inappropriate things that they don't realize it. They're like, oh god,

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Speaker 1: I remember when I was that fat, Like they don't think.

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Speaker 1: They're not doing it to make They're not doing it

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Speaker 1: to button, just like like someone made a comment to

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Speaker 1: you earlier today that was like you could take it

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Speaker 1: as offensive, but I'm sure they had no intent on.

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Speaker 1: If I have I have family members, I think I

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Speaker 1: would feel comfortable saying that. Often say things you go, oh,

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Speaker 1: they didn't mean that, they could not have you use

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Speaker 1: the word intent, and that really is a word that

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Speaker 1: we forget about in equation trying to figure out if

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Speaker 1: someone's a good person or a bad person by the

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Speaker 1: things they say. Someone could say something just God awful.

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Speaker 1: Maybe they didn't think before they said it. God knows.

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Speaker 1: I'm guilty of that. That happens to me every minute.

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Speaker 1: But we all know that Scary has nothing but positive,

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Speaker 1: great intent. He doesn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. That's

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Speaker 1: just scary. I don't bone in my body. Would you

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Speaker 1: like one? What about you, Garrett? Any weird family member

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Speaker 1: I got? Uncle Sal. Uncle Sal still believes that he

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Speaker 1: should have been a part of the real life Sopranos

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Speaker 1: or the Mafia. He he hangs out with his friends

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Speaker 1: in front of seven eleven every morning with his lawn chair,

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Speaker 1: and they drink coffee and they read the newspaper and

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Speaker 1: they talk about, you know, stuff that's going on around town,

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Speaker 1: as if he's running the town. But he doesn't, obviously,

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Speaker 1: But yeah, track suit track super Yeah that you know,

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Speaker 1: every community in America has those guys. My dad used

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Speaker 1: to be one of those guys down in McKinney, Texas

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Speaker 1: of all places. But they never wanted to be, you know,

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Speaker 1: members of the Sopranos. But they did gather every day

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Speaker 1: to talk about you know, stuff and down and they

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Speaker 1: drank coffee and they did it every day. I used

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Speaker 1: to date those guys. You should date my father guys,

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Speaker 1: some guys similar to that that get together with their

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Speaker 1: friends in front of the big shop and they just

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Speaker 1: kind of talk about the family and exactly I know,

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Speaker 1: but you know it's yeah, the mobsters and eerie Nate,

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Speaker 1: you know, my grandfather actually what we called it the

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Speaker 1: coffee because my grandfather would meet with all these other

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Speaker 1: old guys that they just sit there drinking coffee for hours. McDonald's. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's nothing. That's the thing though, And maybe that's the

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Speaker 1: thing in the past. Maybe that's something that we don't

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Speaker 1: want to let loose of so fast. We should transitioning

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Speaker 1: to internet trolls now, is it. Yeah, people just go

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Speaker 1: like used the same hashtag and talk about something. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if the fact that my aunt Millie was

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Speaker 1: married to who was married to my uncle Bill ran

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Speaker 1: with Lucky Luciano, my my Uncle Bill was like, he

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Speaker 1: used to sit there and he used to hang out

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Speaker 1: with these these mobsters from the sixties. And I had

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Speaker 1: no idea that I just found this out recently. I'm like, no,

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Speaker 1: not an our family, but yes, in our family in

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Speaker 1: the in the sixties. You know, he passed on in

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Speaker 1: like the early eighties. Uncle, you better hope. So he

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Speaker 1: was the one who, according to the government, he did.

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Speaker 1: We've heard. Hey, so I have to bring Great Tea

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Speaker 1: to our attention. What's going on there? You? I can

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Speaker 1: always tell in Great Tea's mind is elsewhere and it

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Speaker 1: has been all day. No, it has not, Yes, it

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Speaker 1: has not. All you guys, we all we all know you.

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Speaker 1: We've worked with you for over twenty two years. We

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Speaker 1: know you. I'm fine. Once the microphones go on, We're good.

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Speaker 1: Let's go. There's nothing to matter. There's nothing, no, no,

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Speaker 1: but no, no, no no, I'm not saying we want to

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Speaker 1: know what's going on. But isn't it funny how you

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Speaker 1: can you get to know someone after so many years,

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Speaker 1: you just you just know them. It's it's I know,

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Speaker 1: I know Great Tea. It does the awkward laugh. No,

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Speaker 1: it was funny because there's something whatever I don't even

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Speaker 1: know how it happened. But Elvis goes, oh, Tea, you're

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Speaker 1: going into the dark place into place, and I said, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm fine, but but but I don't don't know what

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Speaker 1: it is. But I'm a little right right, just yes

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Speaker 1: or no, there, there's there's something on your mind. You

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Speaker 1: wear your emotions on your slee Okay, No, I'm okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm not and I'm not going down that road. But

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Speaker 1: my point is you get to know people really well

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Speaker 1: and you just know if how they're doing that. He

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Speaker 1: really didn't. I'm not the only one anyone else am

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Speaker 1: I only one who I know too. Here's the the

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Speaker 1: other thing about Greg t that not a lot of

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Speaker 1: people know. He wants to tell you, but it doesn't

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Speaker 1: want but he wants you to ask him what's wrong

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Speaker 1: for him, not for him to say I can't tell

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Speaker 1: you then because if you say T, because I'll say

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Speaker 1: to him the morning, T you all right? Why away? Right?

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Speaker 1: I'm fine, all right? But may I I don't. I

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Speaker 1: didn't mean to make this tell all about you. It's

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Speaker 1: about everyone in this room. We know each other, and

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Speaker 1: everyone listening has that those people in their lives, you

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Speaker 1: know them, so well, you know how they're doing, how

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Speaker 1: they're feeling. And no, no, I didn't mean to turn

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Speaker 1: this into you when your problem. Like like Brody, I

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Speaker 1: can tell when he's having something going, and you guys

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Speaker 1: know when I'm going through something, I make it very clear.

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Speaker 1: I throw chairs against him. I don't know what's going

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Speaker 1: on in Tea his life, but I'm looking over at

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Speaker 1: these notes. He's been writing notes the whole time in

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Speaker 1: this podcast, and it looks like he's ranking types of bacon.

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Speaker 1: Are you ranking? Are you? Are you ranking bacon? I

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Speaker 1: found a very treating article and I wanted to bring

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Speaker 1: it to your attection, maybe possibly for tomorrow, maybe for tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: because we're almost out of time. What are you doing?

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Speaker 1: Why are you ranking bacon? What made it to number one?

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Speaker 1: You just haven't gotten there yet. There's part of this.

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Speaker 1: There's an article that I read in Food and Wine

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Speaker 1: and they came out with America's Best Bacon's. So I

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Speaker 1: told you, okay, I felt like, what's so funny about bacon? Bacon?

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Speaker 1: Bacon is a fantastic thing. I wouldn't be laughing at that.

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Speaker 1: It's a big industry. I'm working out a project, all right.

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Speaker 1: Tomorrow tomorrow, tomorrow or ranking Bacon. I can't wait. Fifteen

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Speaker 1: minute morning show off