1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: The Nikki Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki here. I am. Hey guys, 2 00:00:13,119 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: welcome to the Nicki Glazer Podcast. How are you today 3 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: heading into the weekend? It's Thursday? Wait, is it Wednesday 4 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: or Thursday? It's Thursday. It's two days after my birthday 5 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,680 Speaker 1: and my birthday was Tuesday. I got to say, usually 6 00:00:27,720 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: the day after my birthday June two, in June three, 7 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: June fourth not my favorite days of the year because 8 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,880 Speaker 1: it's just like, oh, it's gonna be so long until 9 00:00:35,920 --> 00:00:38,320 Speaker 1: another day is mine. At least that's the way I 10 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: used to feel when I was a kid. Um, But 11 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: this time around, God, I had so much fun on 12 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: my birthday. And I know we talked about it yesterday, 13 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 1: but the I hadn't gotten all the accolades about what 14 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: a fun night it was from my mom. And it's just, 15 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,560 Speaker 1: you know, it's really sweet as that my parents just 16 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:07,759 Speaker 1: had a great time and um, and I showed them 17 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 1: what fun could be had when they just trust me. 18 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: And like, because I think sometimes things get caught up 19 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: with too much planning and there's too much like we 20 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,559 Speaker 1: need this cake to come then, and then the candles, 21 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,639 Speaker 1: and we gotta get the card and we gotta get 22 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 1: Like my sister forgot it was my birthday. Um or 23 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: she you know, she knows my birthday, but she it 24 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,800 Speaker 1: just kind of crept up on her. She's a teacher, 25 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,280 Speaker 1: she's finishing out school. Um. Even though the kids didn't 26 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 1: have any finals because of COVID, no no finals, they 27 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: just finals were optional for teachers to give. So no 28 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 1: teachers gave them because he you know, no good teachers 29 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: gave them. Can you imagine I did we talk about 30 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: this being a high school student. I mean, this is 31 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: the stuff of my of dreams I currently still have. 32 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 1: Do you guys ever still have this dream where you're 33 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 1: lost on the final day of school, like it's a 34 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: final and you have to find the class. Maybe it's 35 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,840 Speaker 1: for a college class and you didn't even go to college, 36 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: or maybe it's for high school and you were valgetorians. 37 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 1: So there's no reason that this should be a dream 38 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 1: that you have showing up on the last day, you 39 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 1: didn't go to class, you can't really find the class, 40 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,239 Speaker 1: you find it, and you didn't study at all. Okay, 41 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,760 Speaker 1: that's like a nightmare, right Well, the dream scenario of 42 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 1: that that you would wake up and go that would 43 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,040 Speaker 1: never happen is that you get to the end of 44 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,079 Speaker 1: the year and you have to study in your finals 45 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: are coming up. I mean the way we did in 46 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: my high school is there's you know, you have a 47 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: semi final and then you have the final every semester 48 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,520 Speaker 1: before winter break and then before summer break, and it's 49 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: pretty much at of everything you learned, either the whole 50 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: year or for that semester, right, and what you do 51 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: for those even college classes, when you have your final, 52 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 1: you you pop in at all or whatever. You can't 53 00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:53,919 Speaker 1: you totally um ruin your bodies symbiosis of sleep and 54 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: like health, to over study, memorize a bunch of stuff 55 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,640 Speaker 1: and then take the test and then dump it out 56 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,320 Speaker 1: of your head as soon as it's over. Because that's 57 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: what I do with every script I've ever learned, um 58 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: every you know, you ever see actors on TV shows 59 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,840 Speaker 1: and they'll do a game whether they're like, is this 60 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 1: a line from something you did, Sean Penn, or is 61 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: this a thing that Charlie are A d said to 62 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: his kids, screamed at his kids last week, you know, 63 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 1: and they play those games and Sean Penn, who has 64 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:27,359 Speaker 1: been in he can't remember like Oscar winning performance performances 65 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 1: of lines. It's because you dump it later. I mean, 66 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: I don't want to speak for Sean Penn, but like 67 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: you you they're jokes that I memorized for the sake 68 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: of a roast or something, and they're dumped out of 69 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,560 Speaker 1: my head. My own stand up not as much dumped, 70 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: but sometimes. I recalled an old joke this morning, actually, 71 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: and I couldn't remember it. It was something about waxing 72 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: my vagina. I think it's online. I think someone shot 73 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: me at a Indianapolis Crackers comedy club in like two thousand, 74 00:03:56,400 --> 00:04:00,040 Speaker 1: ten eleven and or maybe eight or nine, and I 75 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: was doing a bit about trying to wax myself. I 76 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: bought a NADS kit. Remember nads? Noah, it's like the 77 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:11,640 Speaker 1: waxing kit. I heated up in the microwave. And this 78 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: is true story. I just told Andrew this in the kitchen. 79 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,080 Speaker 1: He goes, have you ever talked about that? And I go, 80 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 1: I'm telling you, it's a bit that I used to do, 81 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: but I haven't, I guess talked about it since then. 82 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,640 Speaker 1: I'm saving it for the next time I do WTF 83 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,599 Speaker 1: with Mark Marin. It's just like a story. I really 84 00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 1: think we'll like drop like people's insecurities out. No, it's um. 85 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: I haven't been harboring it, but I literally I have 86 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:33,159 Speaker 1: hurt myself so much for the sake of fashion and 87 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,599 Speaker 1: wanting to please men. I think it should be a 88 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:38,200 Speaker 1: segment on our show where we called beauty is pain 89 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,800 Speaker 1: or just like and this is for men too. Men 90 00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: do it painful things too. But I've almost died because 91 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 1: I was wanting to have a hairless vagina. That's a 92 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: story for another time. But this I heat it up, 93 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,359 Speaker 1: n ads. I was like such, I was such a 94 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: dirty mess bag. Then heated up nads, put it on 95 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:59,440 Speaker 1: my vagina. They give you a little strips at the time, 96 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,800 Speaker 1: like you do individual strips, but got through to first 97 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: of all, it heated up too much. This is the joke. 98 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,679 Speaker 1: By the way, this is a good line for early 99 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 1: Nicki Glazer stand up. This line where I go, okay, 100 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,680 Speaker 1: that was something I would right now. So I didn't 101 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: know how long to heat it up. I put it 102 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:16,160 Speaker 1: in the popcorn, I funked it up. I put it 103 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: in the microwave, I pressed popcorn, and I left the room. 104 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,159 Speaker 1: So I heat it up too much. I love that 105 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,120 Speaker 1: line of just like, but I didn't. I just I 106 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 1: did heat it up too much, so it burnt me. 107 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,800 Speaker 1: I only got two strips in abandoned it, and so 108 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 1: I had a vagina that was hairless except for two patches, 109 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: which almost calls back to my joke that I did 110 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: this past summer where I was getting electrolysis on my 111 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 1: vagina and had to stop my sessions halfway through because 112 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,119 Speaker 1: of COVID. Twelve sessions give you a hairless vagina. Six 113 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 1: gives you a vagina that looks like a koala that 114 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,599 Speaker 1: was survived the Australian wildfires. I had to change that 115 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: joke when I did on Kimmel, I had to say 116 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,160 Speaker 1: it looked like a South American soccer field. People got 117 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: offended by that too. I'm like, I can't win here. 118 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 1: My vagina looked like a pause button because it had 119 00:05:54,360 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 1: to like, you know, two strips perfectly perpendic or parallel 120 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:04,480 Speaker 1: to each other looked like a pause button. Um at 121 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: the time, Twigs used to be like Twigs put your 122 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: life on pause, and so two thousand and eight I 123 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,839 Speaker 1: was like, I was like some kind of I said, 124 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: some kind of Twigs catchphrase. After that, this is the joke, 125 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 1: and then I said, I called it Patch Adams, not 126 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: because not because it oh, I said, not because of 127 00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:25,359 Speaker 1: how it looked, but because I used to go to 128 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: the hospital and entertain sick kids with it. I put 129 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: a clown nose on it, like it just became this 130 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 1: absurd bit that I kind of stand by, but I forget. 131 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:35,880 Speaker 1: The wording was pretty good. Look it up. But it's 132 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 1: on YouTube. You can you can watch old stand up 133 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: that it's humiliating to me from like clubs I did. 134 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,679 Speaker 1: That would take my set and I can't stand watching 135 00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:49,359 Speaker 1: my stand up anyway. Um, you you dream about a 136 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: day where your teacher a dream sneak sequence would be 137 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: me waking up and being like, oh my god, I 138 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: had a dream My teacher, Madam Hood canceled the final 139 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: and said we didn't need to do a fine. That's 140 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: only something that could happen in dreams except two thousand 141 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: twenty one. And I know COVID has been hard, but 142 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 1: for all of the kids out there that did not 143 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,120 Speaker 1: have to do finals because your teachers thought it would 144 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: be too hard for you given everything else, Congratulations. That 145 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 1: is the best thing I've ever heard. It's like the 146 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:19,280 Speaker 1: snow it's like a it's like a snow week. It's 147 00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 1: like hearing that you've got a week off of I 148 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: mean when I my sister told me that they had 149 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: no finals, I got excited like I was in high 150 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: school for the kids, because finals used to just weigh 151 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:31,600 Speaker 1: on me so much. It's still represents and I think 152 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: that's why we have those stress dreams. It's because it 153 00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: was the first time. This is my guess, having no 154 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: knowledge of dream analysis and honestly not really understanding psychology 155 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: more than a couple of chapters of four books that 156 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,520 Speaker 1: I've read, because I give up after the second chapter. 157 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: But I do believe that dreams really can tell you 158 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,440 Speaker 1: where you're at in your life. And if you have 159 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,840 Speaker 1: a dream where you are stressed out and can't find 160 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,960 Speaker 1: the building where your final is, or in you're back 161 00:07:57,960 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: in high school, or you're having a dream that you 162 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: are about to go on stage and for a play 163 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 1: that you have not been to rehearsals of and you 164 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: are playing Juliet and you don't have any any of 165 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: the lines are memorized, or you have a dream where 166 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,960 Speaker 1: you're falling and your teeth are falling out, whatever it 167 00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: is that dream it's it's something that happened to you 168 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: formatively early on that stressed you out, and that's what 169 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 1: your brain goes to to get to work through those 170 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: feelings when you're sleeping. I heard that dreams are a 171 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:26,720 Speaker 1: way I mean, I think science is best guess is 172 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: that dreams are a way to process the information you 173 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 1: accrue during the day and like downloaded and make sense 174 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,119 Speaker 1: of it, and so you have all these weird flashes 175 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:40,760 Speaker 1: of stuff. However, Sam Harris, my favorite person and thinker, 176 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: has says the most interesting thing about sleep that I'm 177 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: going to butcher. But people always go like, how does 178 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: what does he compare it to? People are so scared 179 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 1: of psychedelics and if I take this drug, what's gonna happen? 180 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: When am I going to see? What am I gonna do? 181 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,200 Speaker 1: People are scared of dying. You know, when I ceased 182 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 1: to exist? What will be when you go to sleep? 183 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 1: Think about this. When you go to sleep, you literally 184 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 1: shut down your body. You are defenseless. Your brain goes 185 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,000 Speaker 1: to places you cannot predict. You don't know where they're 186 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: going to go. You don't know what you'll see, you 187 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: don't know what terrors will befall you. You don't know 188 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: what delights befall you, but every single night, hopefully you 189 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 1: surrender to that and you're okay with it to completely 190 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: be you know, a receiving uh pretty much victim to 191 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:42,199 Speaker 1: your mind. Yet we we I'm scared of doing l 192 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 1: I'm scared of doing d MT. I'm scared of all 193 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 1: these things, what they might show me in my brain 194 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:50,479 Speaker 1: when really, every night I sign up for a psychedelic experience, 195 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:54,480 Speaker 1: dreaming not moving your body, but also operating in a 196 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 1: world in your mind where dogs turn into buildings and 197 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 1: then suddenly you're in your middle school, but it's actually 198 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:05,960 Speaker 1: your brother's, uh, friends, moms, many even like the way 199 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 1: the world shape shifts. If you witness this in your 200 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: own life, you'd go, what the fuck. So there's some 201 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: way of him presenting that that I'm probably not striking 202 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: a chord with people, But the way he presented it 203 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: was that it's just very interesting that people are so 204 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,679 Speaker 1: reticent to do drugs that might expand your consciousness and 205 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 1: show you things that your your your subconscious might be 206 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:28,520 Speaker 1: working through. I'm scared to do LST because I've heard 207 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,320 Speaker 1: of terrible trips. Sam Harris even talks about it. He 208 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: even says he has two young children. He said that, 209 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,080 Speaker 1: And if you don't know who Sam Harris says, I'm 210 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: not gonna explain it to you, because I honestly can't 211 00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: even list all of his achievements. But he's a very 212 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:44,160 Speaker 1: he's a scientist, a neuro scientist, neuroscience. I don't even 213 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:46,720 Speaker 1: I can't even say what he is. He's the smartest man, 214 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,040 Speaker 1: to my knowledge, alive, and I trust everything he says, 215 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: almost too blindly. He's like a god to me. But 216 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:54,960 Speaker 1: the fact that I heard this man say that he 217 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 1: wants his two young children if they don't if they 218 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,520 Speaker 1: live a life or they don't do LSD, he will 219 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 1: think it's a life that wasn't lived to its fullest 220 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: for his young seven year old, like his young girls. 221 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: And he even says that's something that I remember every 222 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: time I smoke pot. He goes. Would I recommend they 223 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: do pot? No? I mean, like sure once, but if 224 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 1: they go life without pot, that's fine. I would never 225 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: recommend them smoke pot every day. That's an insane thing, 226 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,439 Speaker 1: but like or do LSD every day. But these are 227 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 1: human things. Your brain is capable of going to these 228 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,000 Speaker 1: places on its own LSD just opens it up. It's 229 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,079 Speaker 1: not like LSD does it to your brain. Your brain 230 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,679 Speaker 1: is capable of it. It's just a and you can 231 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: get to it through meditation probably um the places your 232 00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:38,800 Speaker 1: brain will go. But these are just ways to to 233 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: facilitate it. And I've even changed my my stance on 234 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,320 Speaker 1: you know, psychedelics and psilocybin mushrooms for being these like, 235 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: oh it's just one session and you get through all 236 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 1: your trauma. I think what it does is it it 237 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: gets you through a lot of it, and then you've 238 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,760 Speaker 1: got to keep up the work to address those things. 239 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,200 Speaker 1: I used to think it was like, oh, you just 240 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 1: take a hit and then you're like done dealing with 241 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:04,959 Speaker 1: your PTSD from IRAQ. But no, it's like you you're 242 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: able to process it in a way that is so 243 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:11,920 Speaker 1: much clearer and more focused and not like terrifying. That's 244 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,240 Speaker 1: the thing. I gotta get to Andrew. But one more 245 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,600 Speaker 1: thing before we get to Andrew. If you're a fan 246 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:22,040 Speaker 1: of Bill Burr, I implore you to listen to his 247 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: Conan UH interview from a couple of weeks ago. It's 248 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:29,199 Speaker 1: twenty six minutes long. All I'm telling you right now, 249 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:31,320 Speaker 1: listen to the first six minutes, and you tell me 250 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,920 Speaker 1: if you're a fan of Bill Burr and what you 251 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,760 Speaker 1: usually expect from him, you I want to hear what 252 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,560 Speaker 1: you think after he shares the first six minutes of 253 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: that interview. I really want to hear from you because 254 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: for me, as a huge fan of Bill Burr, who 255 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: in the past couple of years has not been able 256 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: to enjoy him as much because I just was so 257 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: um it sames with Patrice O'Neil, like there was a 258 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,840 Speaker 1: there there was something about he would he would say 259 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,439 Speaker 1: things about women that I would believe would I would go, 260 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,000 Speaker 1: oh my god, that's true, that we're like really angry, 261 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 1: and it would make me like hate myself a little bit. 262 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 1: So I couldn't listen to Billbert because he was like 263 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,280 Speaker 1: showing me sides to myself I didn't like, and he 264 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,640 Speaker 1: was so angry at me as a woman, you know, 265 00:13:15,679 --> 00:13:18,480 Speaker 1: like certain things and not just women, just like things 266 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 1: that I stood for that I was like, oh my god, 267 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,240 Speaker 1: my favorite personal world. I don't like to listen to 268 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: his stand up anymore because it makes me like feel 269 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:26,840 Speaker 1: foolish because he's calling me out. And I avoided him 270 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 1: because it was just too angry, and I'm trying not 271 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: to let that stuff in my life that makes you 272 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: feel bad, not because he isn't a genius, But then 273 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,280 Speaker 1: I listened to his cone in six minutes in Just 274 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:39,320 Speaker 1: trust me on this. I can't believe people aren't talking 275 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:41,200 Speaker 1: about it. And I think as soon as you see 276 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,720 Speaker 1: what it is, you'll know exactly why Bill Burr fans, 277 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 1: you know, Roguan fans, all of these guys who I 278 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: think they know what's up and hate canceled culture and 279 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 1: hate you know, and are don't want to have more empathy. 280 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 1: I think they're scared to even watch this because your 281 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,920 Speaker 1: boy has changed, and how did he change? Well, go 282 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:08,959 Speaker 1: watch that Conan clip the first six minutes of the 283 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 1: interview with Bill Burr, that's twenty six minutes long, and 284 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 1: then watch the rest of it because it's fucking hilarious. 285 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:17,559 Speaker 1: But the first six minutes, Bill Burr has changed, and 286 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: no one's talking about it. And I think it's because 287 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:25,040 Speaker 1: it scares every one who has built their persona around 288 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: I want to be like Bill Burr because if you 289 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,040 Speaker 1: were pursuing that before, Bill Bird doesn't want to be 290 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,920 Speaker 1: that way anymore. And you'll see why. Let's get Andrew 291 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:41,040 Speaker 1: in here. Hi, little cutie boy, look at him staring 292 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,760 Speaker 1: Hi Andrew, I'm talking to the dog. Oh man, I 293 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: started wagging my tail. Oh yeah, No, Luigi is so 294 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,120 Speaker 1: cute and forlorn. He was just sitting in your chair 295 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,360 Speaker 1: and now he's out of it. Now you're here, Hi, Andrew. 296 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 1: How did you sleep last night? You were out, buddy 297 00:14:55,760 --> 00:15:00,960 Speaker 1: to myself? Did you sleep good? At Uh? Your ladies? Yeah? 298 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 1: She u her sheets are clean. Uh, they're not the 299 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: cleanest these days. I gotta get back in there, gotta 300 00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 1: get after that again. I have been wanting so badly 301 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: to do a challenge, and I think today should physical challenge. 302 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: It's it kind of is physical. Noah, can I present 303 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 1: a challenge? Go for it. This is very vulnerable because 304 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,240 Speaker 1: my room is a fucking mess right now. Oh god, no, 305 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: I don't know if we should do this. I know 306 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 1: where you're going. We each go into each other's room 307 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,240 Speaker 1: and we pick one item, or we take a picture, 308 00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: and we bring back the picture and we just go 309 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 1: explain this. It could be. What made me think of 310 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: it one day was when I was brushing my teeth 311 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 1: and I looked and I saw one of my old eyelashes, 312 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 1: like a false eyelash that I stuck on the back 313 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: of my floss because I was like, oh, it's and 314 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,640 Speaker 1: if you saw that, you would just take a picture 315 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:53,840 Speaker 1: of and go, what is this? Why? Why? Why? Like 316 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: just a weird thing that you know you do that 317 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,160 Speaker 1: you don't even think about that we can then have 318 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:01,080 Speaker 1: to answer. I'm trying to think, what is there anything 319 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 1: your room? You truly would be so mad at me 320 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,840 Speaker 1: seeing or upset about, because mine, I've got a lot 321 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: of stuff in there right now that would be hilarious 322 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: thing a minute I'll make, but you can get mad 323 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: at me. Wait, can we just do it right now, 324 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:19,000 Speaker 1: real quick? My room is so dirty mine, dude, mine 325 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: is disgusting. Jingle bells. You're gonna be singing jingle bells 326 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,080 Speaker 1: when you look in there? Do you know what I'm 327 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 1: talking about? Do you know their reference? I know my listeners. 328 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: Do I know jingle balls? That you probably? I know 329 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 1: that fashion egg? Yeah, you know that fashion egg. No. 330 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:35,800 Speaker 1: I can't believe Andrew already forgot dashing through the snow 331 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,280 Speaker 1: ding ding and the one someone wrote to me and 332 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: said that when they when they sometimes see the drive. 333 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: All right, let's do they sing jingle bells too. Let's 334 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,640 Speaker 1: do it. Okay, we're not even gonna pause. Noah, you 335 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 1: keep us going. We're going to do a countdown of 336 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 1: one minute, and um I am, we are, we will 337 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,680 Speaker 1: we'll see this up. But we're gonna do one minute. 338 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:01,640 Speaker 1: No uh um. We can't go in our rooms. We 339 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 1: have to go in each other's rooms, but we can't go. 340 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 1: First we take a picture of something. Go get your phone. 341 00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,520 Speaker 1: You're gonna take a picture of something, you see. This 342 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,399 Speaker 1: is fun. I mean, I know I'm really going to 343 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,280 Speaker 1: Devin and we might cut it. I just don't know. 344 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: One minute to get a picture of something and you 345 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 1: just go explain this and it doesn't have to be 346 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:22,439 Speaker 1: You don't get to touch anything, by the way, no touching, 347 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,280 Speaker 1: no moving things, no like lifting up sheets or anything 348 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 1: like that. You know what I'm saying. Okay, we're gonna go, 349 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 1: and it's it's a rush. Okay, yes, we're gonna do that. Go. 350 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:45,880 Speaker 1: This feels like sweeper challenge. One minute is definitely worse 351 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: than yours. Okay, that's been time, Thank you time. Where's Andrew? 352 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:59,879 Speaker 1: You're done? Okay? So, uh what are you laughing? I 353 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: don't even know what was going on in mind. I'm 354 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,159 Speaker 1: feeling very vulnerable right now. I love that. But what 355 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,480 Speaker 1: I love about this and Noah, in the future, you're 356 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 1: going to be the one that randomly pushes this on 357 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,399 Speaker 1: us and doesn't tell us because we can't prep for it, 358 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So no one's gonna be 359 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:17,440 Speaker 1: up to you in the guess what time it is. 360 00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:20,400 Speaker 1: It's time for whatever we call this segment, and then 361 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: we just run off and do it because in the 362 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 1: future this The only reason it was good today is 363 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,960 Speaker 1: because I truly I left some weird ship out. I 364 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,920 Speaker 1: know I did. I didn't. I barely made my bed. 365 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: I think it just pulled up the sheets. Okay, so 366 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,479 Speaker 1: can I see what you took a picture of? Okay? 367 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:36,840 Speaker 1: I just feel like it's gonna be like we're gonna 368 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,879 Speaker 1: run out and think, Okay, here we go. What do 369 00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,880 Speaker 1: you mean, don't overthink it. And by the way, we're 370 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: in the moment, Okay, that is come on my toy. Yeah, 371 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,120 Speaker 1: I didn't know that it was that much. I thought 372 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,960 Speaker 1: it might be like jingle bells. Jingle bells. But I 373 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:59,560 Speaker 1: didn't even come last night either, And that's from it. 374 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,560 Speaker 1: And this is a brand new toy I used. I 375 00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:06,080 Speaker 1: will recommend this toy. I just usually wipe them on 376 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: sheets that I know are going to be I wipe 377 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,679 Speaker 1: them on the side of the sheets because I only 378 00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:11,879 Speaker 1: use one side of my bed, and I wipe it 379 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 1: on the side that isn't being used by me. You know, 380 00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:17,720 Speaker 1: you have a you have a come side on your 381 00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:22,119 Speaker 1: own bed, and then I would never have someone sleepover 382 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 1: or I would never And you don't have a king 383 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:26,119 Speaker 1: you have a queen bed. Yeah, but I honestly I 384 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 1: don't even touch I use less than a twin in 385 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,680 Speaker 1: terms of space. I really stay like in a casket. 386 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:36,719 Speaker 1: So that is too much. I'm really regret doing the challenge. 387 00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,960 Speaker 1: It is embarrassing. However, I will recommend this toy. You 388 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,200 Speaker 1: know what I love. I love that I didn't wipe 389 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:43,719 Speaker 1: this one though, because it was too much and I 390 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 1: was just like, I don't care. I do love that, 391 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,480 Speaker 1: like it's the come side of the bed is getting 392 00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:50,399 Speaker 1: you ready for a real relationship because you're like, no, 393 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,200 Speaker 1: I can sleep with someone else in my bed because 394 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,720 Speaker 1: I have come side. Now that could be a human body. Yeah, yeah, 395 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 1: I mean if I put it up come there, it'll 396 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: might like build up into a real boy. I could 397 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 1: love um a boy because of Pinocchio. I wasn't saying 398 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,119 Speaker 1: a boy. I was trying to reference that it sounded pedophilic. 399 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,760 Speaker 1: Um okay, so yeah, I got that. I tried a 400 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 1: new toy last night because all of my chargers for 401 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 1: my favorite toys have been missing, and I wrote you. 402 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:21,920 Speaker 1: I wrote into, uh, Cal Exotics, who makes my favorite toy? 403 00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,560 Speaker 1: Get that green box over there. I want to tell 404 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: girls what my favorite toy is, really quick, the green box. 405 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 1: A lot of people are asking for a list of 406 00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,800 Speaker 1: This one's awesome for single women who want to feel like, 407 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: oh my god, here's the answer. Okay, so um yeah, 408 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,440 Speaker 1: I want to feel like the're getting penetrated this one. 409 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 1: It does not have the rabbit part on it that 410 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,960 Speaker 1: like tries to hit your clip. You know what I'm saying. 411 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:48,480 Speaker 1: We talked about called it's called the Shameless Flirt, and 412 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:52,560 Speaker 1: it's by Cal Exotics k C A L Exotics, and 413 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,399 Speaker 1: it's about a hundred four dollars on Amazon. It is 414 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 1: well worth it fifty thrust per minute. It just like it. 415 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,200 Speaker 1: The end of it goes and it really feels good 416 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: and you can plug it up with your heel, or 417 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,560 Speaker 1: you can use your underwear to kind of hold it 418 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 1: in place, like pull your underwear down just to your 419 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,919 Speaker 1: mid thigh or like a little bit further and it 420 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,680 Speaker 1: will hold it in place like a UM. You know, 421 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,000 Speaker 1: fifty per minute. That's that. I mean, imagine how we 422 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 1: only type two words per minute. I mean that's so 423 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: many thrust that it's really good. And then um. And 424 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:28,439 Speaker 1: then last night though I used the woman um not 425 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:34,640 Speaker 1: to liked like I would say, but it doesn't feel 426 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:36,639 Speaker 1: like a man. It just feels like something else is 427 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:38,840 Speaker 1: going on that you're not controlling, which is part of 428 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 1: why masturbation doesn't work for me as well as because 429 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,920 Speaker 1: it always feels like I'm doing it myself. Will you 430 00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,200 Speaker 1: open your phone? Um? So yeah, that's what you found 431 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:47,280 Speaker 1: in my room. Feel like terminator will start with a 432 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:50,439 Speaker 1: vibrator and then we'll just add a gun, you know 433 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 1: what I mean. Like like there's been so much like 434 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: technology improvement because of vibrators to the point of like 435 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 1: it's like Boston dynamics or whatever, like that's calixonics. Like 436 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,200 Speaker 1: I know you have to do with that an arm 437 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 1: on there and a gun and you got yourself. This 438 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,800 Speaker 1: is everyone's man's fear. There are sex robots though, that 439 00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,120 Speaker 1: women have to compete with, like literal dolls that are 440 00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 1: like I love you and I'm never gonna complain, and 441 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,119 Speaker 1: they just like have a mouth that's always in a 442 00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:22,680 Speaker 1: blowjob like opening. So I mean, the technology bottom line 443 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,200 Speaker 1: is the that is not something that I would recommend 444 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 1: a couple do because it does a lot of what 445 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 1: a dick can do. But um, another one that I 446 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,240 Speaker 1: would recommend to women that I opened last night that 447 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,640 Speaker 1: was in a box that I got sent from Balssa 448 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:38,440 Speaker 1: was the Womanizer. That is when Andrew took a picture 449 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: of and it has the suction on it. It's like 450 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:43,199 Speaker 1: it's like a rabbit, so it goes inside you. But 451 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,080 Speaker 1: then it also on the top instead of the rabbit 452 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,760 Speaker 1: that's like a vibrated thing. It has a section hole 453 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:52,560 Speaker 1: and it does the section and the vibrations. The attachment 454 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:54,520 Speaker 1: that goes inside you is not big enough for me 455 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: and it's not enough to like have a but it 456 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,919 Speaker 1: still was better than any other toy I have right 457 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:03,199 Speaker 1: out that has an operating charging chord. But the problem is, 458 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 1: like that's why I love Emily Morris's pod because the 459 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:09,960 Speaker 1: other day I was looking at her Instagram Sex with 460 00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:12,879 Speaker 1: Emily and it said remember to charge your vibrators and 461 00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 1: I literally was like, oh shit, I forgot, because there's 462 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,359 Speaker 1: nothing worse than you want to sash and you have 463 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: nothing to you So unless the one that's churched on 464 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 1: the wall, which is the magic one, which I always have, 465 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,080 Speaker 1: the not the battery powered one, but the charge in 466 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: the wall. Okay, Andrew, answer to the pictures, you didn't 467 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 1: where's your phone? I took it with your phone? Oh 468 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,760 Speaker 1: I didn't. That's right. I don't know. I was holding 469 00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:35,120 Speaker 1: your phone, but it was you show it's behind picture, Yes, 470 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,480 Speaker 1: got it. I just thought because separate rooms, I was, 471 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: why is there never like a giant? Like? My question 472 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 1: to you is why I took a picture of the 473 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 1: four corners of your room? And I know that's not fair, 474 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:50,439 Speaker 1: but it sounds like a Jewish prayer. Yes, I wonder 475 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,800 Speaker 1: it sounds like a book that you had on your nightstand, 476 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 1: the four corners. Yeah, how to grow into a Jewish man. 477 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 1: Um one is uh, this was the first one I took. 478 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,600 Speaker 1: It is a crumpled white sheet in the corner in 479 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,520 Speaker 1: your um you know your your corner. That is I 480 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:10,800 Speaker 1: would say the one that you're like trying to forget 481 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: what happened, and that these are the corner you put 482 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 1: things in that you're like, something bad happened. What happened 483 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 1: to that sheet? Well, if you look closely, there's two 484 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: cut holes in them. So no, no, I I don't know. 485 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 1: I I threw it in over there. And then the 486 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,960 Speaker 1: bike seems a little bike blair witch. Okay, there's a 487 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,040 Speaker 1: bike wheel in front of it because he propped his bike. 488 00:24:29,119 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: But the the sheet is crumbled in the corner like 489 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:35,399 Speaker 1: scared almost like ritualistic lee hidden in the side in 490 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:38,840 Speaker 1: the corner. Then the other corner is a red pillow 491 00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 1: um many sheets, many uh, a blanket, a pull up bar, towels, 492 00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,800 Speaker 1: and it's stacked together in the corner. What's the corner 493 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:50,679 Speaker 1: thing going on? And then the other let's go to 494 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,360 Speaker 1: the other one. You know people, honestly, by the way, 495 00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 1: a room has four corners, are you asking? So then 496 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,520 Speaker 1: the corner that has your door attached to it, there's 497 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,359 Speaker 1: a is another pile of laundry, laundry on top of 498 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,879 Speaker 1: a laundry bag. And then in the final corner is 499 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 1: the funniest corner, and this is The one I think 500 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,720 Speaker 1: we have to show in the story is a no 501 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:17,560 Speaker 1: will you describe this? It's a shoe rack. It looks 502 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:22,040 Speaker 1: like shoes from like a hostage room or something like that. Okay, 503 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 1: so it looks like a pile of many shoes. But 504 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,760 Speaker 1: what is in the corner there? Oh? What is that? 505 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 1: It's a It's a stripped lamp. It's just a striped 506 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 1: lamp with just a lamp light bulb. It's not an 507 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,360 Speaker 1: Edison lamp by the way, where it's like you put 508 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,200 Speaker 1: on a fun bulb. It's just a lamp that has 509 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:42,879 Speaker 1: a single bulb, no shade, and it's not plugged in. 510 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:46,800 Speaker 1: It's in the corner. It looks Yeah, I mean this 511 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,120 Speaker 1: is all I know where the shade went. It ended 512 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,080 Speaker 1: up in here. Um, you you took a picture of 513 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 1: you know, there's my common So this is nothing. But honestly, 514 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:59,119 Speaker 1: I'm more vulnerable when your girl comes over. When your 515 00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:01,199 Speaker 1: girl comes over, do you do you care if she 516 00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:02,679 Speaker 1: sees all of this? I would just want to know 517 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,440 Speaker 1: because there's nothing to really be ashamed of any of this. 518 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 1: It's just the laundry will be done by the end 519 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,879 Speaker 1: of this year, and then the other stuff I don't know. 520 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,800 Speaker 1: I like a corner, you don't you know, you throw 521 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 1: it in the corner, you forget about it. I don't 522 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 1: even think about it. I don't see these things because 523 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,960 Speaker 1: of my A D D. But I got a question. 524 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,520 Speaker 1: You got a big old room in there that we 525 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,040 Speaker 1: put a bunch of junk in. It's like a storage 526 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 1: room that's past, it's like a closet in a closet, 527 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 1: Why not throw all that stuff in there? Because that 528 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 1: that that that baby is getting real fool and it 529 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,960 Speaker 1: might never get addressed because you might put it in 530 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,119 Speaker 1: there and forget so at least, I mean, that's always 531 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: been my move is put in the closet, closed the door, 532 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,280 Speaker 1: forget about it. That's what we do with the trauma 533 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,400 Speaker 1: in our lives. And that's why we're scared of doing mushrooms, 534 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:44,680 Speaker 1: because apparently that's the metaphor everyone gets, is that when 535 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 1: you do mushrooms, the rooms where like oh I was 536 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 1: molested in that room or I was the rooms of 537 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 1: trash that you're not ready to look at and put away. 538 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,679 Speaker 1: Apparently you open the door and sell someone described it. 539 00:26:56,720 --> 00:26:58,880 Speaker 1: You opened the door to that room and you see 540 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:04,360 Speaker 1: the mess, and you go okay, all right, I see it. 541 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:05,879 Speaker 1: This is a lot I'm gonna have to deal with 542 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 1: some day, and that's okay, it's not today, and then 543 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 1: you shut it and then you're good. Like it doesn't 544 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,520 Speaker 1: it's it's not this like subconscious like I gotta get 545 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,520 Speaker 1: to that room and clean that basement room. It's just 546 00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:20,200 Speaker 1: like it's there. I put it there for a reason. 547 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm not ready to deal with it. And that's okay. 548 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,359 Speaker 1: I feel that way about that room. Yeah, I don't. Yeah, Um, 549 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,480 Speaker 1: I thought you were going to come across. So I 550 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 1: have a confession to make. I guess I know you 551 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,879 Speaker 1: were really nervous, and I didn't see anything in your 552 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:36,520 Speaker 1: room stream a d D and you're out of town 553 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:42,359 Speaker 1: and sex and the toy wasn't quite working. So I 554 00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 1: came and got another toy from your your What do 555 00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,800 Speaker 1: you get the one that sucks on the clip? There? Okay, 556 00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,119 Speaker 1: how was it? She came? So I owe you you 557 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 1: can do that, though you should have grabbed a vibrator, 558 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,439 Speaker 1: you know, like you can do the thing that the 559 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 1: suction thing can do. I grabbed one of those two. 560 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 1: What are you being serious? Why can't you just be honest? 561 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,800 Speaker 1: I don't know, do you have anything else to say, 562 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:11,920 Speaker 1: It's okay, that's it. That's it. One thing and one thing. 563 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: That's what thing that goes in her because I might 564 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:17,639 Speaker 1: want you to replace it, but I just I'll have 565 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:19,000 Speaker 1: you write the company and asked for a free one. 566 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 1: But I'm serious. Which one that goes in here? I'll 567 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:24,240 Speaker 1: show you. I'll bring it into I don't think you'd 568 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,080 Speaker 1: like it, Okay. If I if it wasn't opened already, 569 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: I probably was like, okay with parting ways with it. Okay, 570 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 1: I'm glad you did that. I think there was the 571 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,200 Speaker 1: right thing to do. In the moment, I just got 572 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,479 Speaker 1: so excited and I wanted her to come and texted me. 573 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 1: I know you're scared of say no. That's the thing. 574 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 1: I don't think you would have said no. Why not 575 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 1: text me because your horn? Yeah yeah, don't text me, 576 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 1: just steal whatever you want. We gotta get to the news. 577 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,360 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, No, don't be sorry. I forgive you. Thanks 578 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:54,640 Speaker 1: for being honest with me. Truly, I will not have 579 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,080 Speaker 1: any repercussions from that when we get off air. I'm serious. 580 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,800 Speaker 1: I don't care. And I was even thinking about it, 581 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: how I was so stingy with those toys for you 582 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 1: and like didn't want you to have any of them. 583 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:06,239 Speaker 1: And I was like why because it's the same thing 584 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 1: as when my dad wouldn't give me weed that he 585 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 1: got from his friend because he was like, this is 586 00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: the best weed. And I'm like, but you don't smoke it. 587 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,240 Speaker 1: There's no way you're going to get through all those 588 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:17,000 Speaker 1: why do you need to hoard it? And I realized 589 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 1: me doing that to you was just a control thing 590 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,800 Speaker 1: and um, and I actually resolved to let you have 591 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,360 Speaker 1: whatever you want out of that box and be like, 592 00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 1: I don't know why I said that you couldn't. That 593 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,160 Speaker 1: was so weird. So I I had already made it 594 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 1: up in my mind and I hadn't told you that 595 00:29:29,640 --> 00:29:32,320 Speaker 1: because it was too Also, there's like there's like thirty 596 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 1: in there, like it's not but I'm not just to 597 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:37,920 Speaker 1: you to the listener, I want them to know, like 598 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,480 Speaker 1: I didn't take two out of we have a giant 599 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 1: box of toys that bless Us sent me. Be Boutique, 600 00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:46,080 Speaker 1: Uh it's it's bless U is the porn site and 601 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 1: I don't do any promo with them. They didn't ask 602 00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: for this, but they are one of my favorite sites 603 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,040 Speaker 1: and I pay pay for bless a plus which you 604 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 1: name your own price, and it's like really good porn 605 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 1: for women and and men. It has really hot stuff. Um. 606 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 1: And then they have a a sex voy store that 607 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,040 Speaker 1: they sent me a bunch of ships and they're very 608 00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:06,600 Speaker 1: great and that's where you can get your cal exotics. Shameless. 609 00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:09,520 Speaker 1: I would I recommend that versus Amazon. And you know why, 610 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: slave labor. Okay, let's get to the news first. Oh, boys, 611 00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:21,959 Speaker 1: the last day of the week, and we know what 612 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,240 Speaker 1: that means. It's gonna be a good day because the 613 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,760 Speaker 1: weekend's coming up. Your your spray tans on, your hair 614 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,959 Speaker 1: is wet, your extensions are going, your eye latches are on, 615 00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 1: and your bikini is tight. So you're gonna have a 616 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,920 Speaker 1: great time in all the swells hopefully this weekend out 617 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:41,600 Speaker 1: on the lake combos? Were you thinking of Lake Cuomo? Yeah, 618 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:44,160 Speaker 1: but I wanted to say combo and then I'm put 619 00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:49,200 Speaker 1: them together combos. Okay, first story, I didn't get it, 620 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,520 Speaker 1: but that's fine. But some one person probably, yeah, someone 621 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,600 Speaker 1: that loves combos on Lake Como. Oh my god, I 622 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,320 Speaker 1: forgot what happened. Okay, remember yesterday. I don't know why 623 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:03,880 Speaker 1: I'm whispering because I thought maybe follow Okay, so remember 624 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,200 Speaker 1: yesterday when I shared that thing of our friend Claire 625 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:11,000 Speaker 1: Parker saying, uh, the thing about the thing, the part 626 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 1: that I loved the most because I the part the 627 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 1: reason why I wanted to show it to you guys 628 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 1: so much, and I just want to revisit it for 629 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,880 Speaker 1: two seconds. I know I'm being so ady right now. Yeah, ye, 630 00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:22,239 Speaker 1: I don't want to keep listaring. Okay, the thing that 631 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,520 Speaker 1: I showed you of Claire talking about how John Laney 632 00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:26,880 Speaker 1: and olivium On might be pregnant, right, Okay, at the 633 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,560 Speaker 1: very end of it, I didn't. I didn't play the end, 634 00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:31,200 Speaker 1: but look at listen to them. So it's her talking 635 00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:34,160 Speaker 1: the whole time. We're not in circle, but somebody we 636 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:35,840 Speaker 1: now we know to Claire, we know, but listen to 637 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,920 Speaker 1: this at the end. Be not true that maybe it 638 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,560 Speaker 1: is true anyway, If it is true, you heard it 639 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: here first Claire Claire Parker. I love Claire Parker. By 640 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,720 Speaker 1: the way, UM, I know that that was an obnoxious clip, 641 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 1: and probably you're like, I don't want to follow that girl. 642 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: She is so freaking funny and used to be on 643 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,360 Speaker 1: my radio show all the time. And um, Claire Parker, 644 00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 1: she's like an she's any chick who loves celebrity gossip 645 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:05,400 Speaker 1: or just likes girls talking about being a girl. Claire Parker, 646 00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 1: look into her. Okay, what's the news? The first story? Apparently? 647 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: You know? An Italian artist sells his invisible sculpture for 648 00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:20,560 Speaker 1: eighteen thousand dollars Salvatory. It sounds like the name of 649 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 1: your sex toy shop. Guru described his piece as a vacuum. 650 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,959 Speaker 1: The vacuum is nothing more than a space full of energy. 651 00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,840 Speaker 1: And even if we empty it and there's nothing left, 652 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:35,920 Speaker 1: according to Heisenberg uncertainty principle that nothing has a weight. 653 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 1: Therefore it has energy that is condensed and transformed in 654 00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:45,920 Speaker 1: the particles that Okay, um, talk about a guy that 655 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,800 Speaker 1: beat the city. I mean, this is the best thing 656 00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 1: since the pet rock. I mean how much did this 657 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 1: sell for dollars? I mean nothing for the concept of nothing? 658 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:58,160 Speaker 1: And you know whoever bought that definitely at eighteen lying 659 00:32:58,200 --> 00:32:59,880 Speaker 1: around in a corner in their room and just did 660 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:01,720 Speaker 1: didn't care. They were just like, this is gonna be 661 00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:03,600 Speaker 1: hilarious that I bought nothing for you. You should have 662 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 1: gave him an empty bag and said Hey, there's eighteen 663 00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:08,640 Speaker 1: grand in there. Just imagine it. That's really funny, you 664 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,240 Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, you know, money is really 665 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:15,280 Speaker 1: like not actually like when I first I think it 666 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:17,040 Speaker 1: was like two years ago that I realized that money 667 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 1: is just numbers. Like it literally is just a number 668 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,520 Speaker 1: you look at. There's not like a room at a 669 00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 1: bank that has every one of your dollar bills and 670 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,680 Speaker 1: like has your name on the door in front, and 671 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:31,080 Speaker 1: it's like this is their money. It's like it literally 672 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,160 Speaker 1: is a typed in number. It's funny you talk about 673 00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:36,320 Speaker 1: that because I haven't told the story about getting locked 674 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 1: in the cash ball with the ghost, but I mean, 675 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,840 Speaker 1: I mean why I don't even know if we can 676 00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:51,840 Speaker 1: Yeah maybe puddles direct. I haven't told you, yeah, but 677 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 1: it's essentially. But I was just thinking about this family, 678 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 1: the Lamp family and St. Louis all killed themselves. Four 679 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:01,680 Speaker 1: generations killed themselves. It was a bigger brewery than the 680 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:04,800 Speaker 1: Budweiser brewery. They had a cash fault, And I was 681 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,480 Speaker 1: thinking about how like when you lost money, all your money, 682 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:12,400 Speaker 1: the room kept getting more, like you saw the physical 683 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,520 Speaker 1: version of your cash. Like if you lose your money nowadays, 684 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,080 Speaker 1: you know what I mean you don't see it. Still 685 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 1: is living in a mansion and can that have no money? 686 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 1: Is that what you're talking about? Know, I'm saying, like so, 687 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:27,440 Speaker 1: like take this room right, all your cash. You had 688 00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 1: a cash room at one point and it was to 689 00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:33,800 Speaker 1: the ceiling. Yeah, a vault, a cash fault. So every 690 00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:36,399 Speaker 1: day you're not making any more money, but you're taking 691 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,319 Speaker 1: money out of a vault and you're not putting any money, 692 00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:43,719 Speaker 1: and you're literally seen your wealth get depleted physically. It 693 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 1: would hurt more see it when you open your bank account. 694 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,040 Speaker 1: That's why I don't look at my money like I 695 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,399 Speaker 1: would probably in the olden days have gone wandered into 696 00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 1: my vault and like close my eyes or blurred my 697 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 1: eyes to be ignorant to it because I'm so scared 698 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:57,680 Speaker 1: of looking at money. But why don't you look at 699 00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,719 Speaker 1: it the same way as I should look at my closet. 700 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: It's no way, um I do. I put it in 701 00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:04,840 Speaker 1: the back and then I don't, and I get it 702 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,600 Speaker 1: out when I need to, and then i'll I hopefully 703 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: the troll who lives in my closet a k a. 704 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:14,920 Speaker 1: My um business manager will alert me if the money 705 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:20,440 Speaker 1: is you always hear these stories of celebrities of celebrity 706 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,880 Speaker 1: of celebrities like their business manager took fifty millions from 707 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,359 Speaker 1: them because they never checked. I know. Um, I've made 708 00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:33,160 Speaker 1: this very abundantly clear to Russell Altman, that I've said 709 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:36,200 Speaker 1: it on many pockets. I could be you could steal 710 00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,960 Speaker 1: from me, Russell Altman. You couldn't steal from Russell. You 711 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,239 Speaker 1: couldn't steal my money from Russell Altman because he's the 712 00:35:41,239 --> 00:35:43,319 Speaker 1: one looking at it, and he's very vigilant about what 713 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:45,880 Speaker 1: spending goes on, and he larns me to any weird purchases, 714 00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,920 Speaker 1: even if it's blacked raw dot com in the middle 715 00:35:48,920 --> 00:35:51,319 Speaker 1: of the night when you're in the Cayman Islands, and 716 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 1: he suspects it's probably some weird activity, but it's really 717 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:57,400 Speaker 1: just you being lonely. Um, And did I want to 718 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,799 Speaker 1: get on tushy dot com to why not? Let's throw 719 00:35:59,800 --> 00:36:03,319 Speaker 1: it it. If I'm paying month for black Raw, it's 720 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,839 Speaker 1: fifteen dollars more to get Tushy and blacked and all 721 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,480 Speaker 1: these other things. Actually didn't buy the package, um, and 722 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,279 Speaker 1: I regret it because black raw does not have as 723 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,360 Speaker 1: many things as videos as you want. There's probably like 724 00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: one a month that gets added and uh, and the 725 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:16,960 Speaker 1: fact that the chances that it's going to be a 726 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,920 Speaker 1: gang bang that really like hits the nerve for you 727 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:21,480 Speaker 1: are slim to none. But I have told these guys 728 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,400 Speaker 1: like I could be I could be stolen from easily. 729 00:36:24,840 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 1: I But the thing is I trust him and I 730 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,439 Speaker 1: trust he's just he's almost like my dad. He'll call 731 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,800 Speaker 1: me after like my accomplishments. He like I genuinely feel 732 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: like a love from him that is not based upon me, 733 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: uh paying for his services. And so I really just 734 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: trust and I just gotta trust my trust. You know, 735 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:51,040 Speaker 1: he helped me. But yeah, please don't steal from me, 736 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 1: and Russell will catch you if you do. But Russell, 737 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:55,080 Speaker 1: you can steal from me, and you know I'll never 738 00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:57,040 Speaker 1: see it. Yeah, And if you do steal from where, 739 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,920 Speaker 1: we're lock in a cash fault with a ghost, you 740 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,239 Speaker 1: sucking bitch. But it won't be a real ghost. It 741 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:05,319 Speaker 1: will be like a vacuum like that yourself. Okay, So 742 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,640 Speaker 1: next story. He looks like Sam Harris. I think that's 743 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,200 Speaker 1: why I trust him so much too. He looks and 744 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 1: sounds like Sam Harris. Russell, has anyone ever told you 745 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: that Russell listen to everything I do too. I feel 746 00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,920 Speaker 1: like that would be the perfect account. That's what my accountant. 747 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,120 Speaker 1: Your account shouldn't look like Tommy Lee. He should look 748 00:37:21,160 --> 00:37:25,680 Speaker 1: like a fucking nerd who will get put in hot 749 00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:27,839 Speaker 1: I was watching him in Pam Annerson make out at 750 00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:31,560 Speaker 1: a party in Last Night that was on. But you're 751 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,520 Speaker 1: still in the machine Gun Kelly, who played Tommy Lee 752 00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:36,160 Speaker 1: at that point, So essentially you're you get me into 753 00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:40,080 Speaker 1: that movie. I might not leave some pictures to take 754 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,040 Speaker 1: in my room the next day. There'll be some dirt 755 00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:44,879 Speaker 1: in there. Yeah, the side of the bed will uh 756 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:50,360 Speaker 1: there will be a full uh jizz figuring of a 757 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:57,480 Speaker 1: skinny white rocker. Um, Kelly, it'll be a machine gun 758 00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:01,880 Speaker 1: made out of Okay, that's just next story. This is 759 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:03,440 Speaker 1: this is falling off the rails. We used to have 760 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:10,200 Speaker 1: a show are ap to our show's disagree Next story, 761 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 1: all right, twenty one year old student designed a double 762 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,719 Speaker 1: decker plane seats that are set to revolutionize the way. 763 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:22,480 Speaker 1: Look at these seats. Whoa dude, that's so smart. Okay, 764 00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,840 Speaker 1: so what we're looking at let me just tell you, folks, 765 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,560 Speaker 1: uh plane seats that are on the floor like the 766 00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:30,799 Speaker 1: ones you know, and then in between them. There's two 767 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,520 Speaker 1: steps that you would go up to, and it's you're 768 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:36,719 Speaker 1: able to fit a person over you so that they're 769 00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 1: back would be reclined, but when you stood up to 770 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:41,080 Speaker 1: get in your seat, you maybe have to bend ford. 771 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 1: You'd have to bend back a little bit to get 772 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,320 Speaker 1: in your seat, but not more than climbing over people 773 00:38:45,360 --> 00:38:48,560 Speaker 1: that usually do. This is beautiful. I love it. I 774 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,239 Speaker 1: think this is definitely something that I would be on 775 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:54,759 Speaker 1: board with. I love flying Southwest because everyone's the same. 776 00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,200 Speaker 1: But this seems like it would take it to a um, 777 00:38:58,239 --> 00:38:59,720 Speaker 1: like you could just get more people on the plane 778 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,560 Speaker 1: and would be easier. Do you know that there's an 779 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,480 Speaker 1: easier way to board a plane? But they don't do 780 00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:05,759 Speaker 1: it because it would make us Uh, it wouldn't be 781 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,280 Speaker 1: able to make them more money in terms of making 782 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:12,399 Speaker 1: groups feel special. So airlines make money by being being like, oh, 783 00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:17,279 Speaker 1: your status. And there's a there's a web YouTube video 784 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:21,560 Speaker 1: that I love that explains how airline seating could be 785 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:25,640 Speaker 1: so much more efficient and faster, like so much. It 786 00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 1: just describes mathematically, like you would load in the back 787 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:30,879 Speaker 1: of the plane, like it just takes you through how 788 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 1: it would be cut down the time by a lot, right, 789 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,440 Speaker 1: which time is money to air plane people, to the 790 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:41,239 Speaker 1: airports and airline industry. However, they must have run the 791 00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 1: numbers and realized that that time that they would make 792 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,920 Speaker 1: up for with fitting in more flights would still not 793 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 1: be more financially benefit beneficial than making up fake cast 794 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:54,080 Speaker 1: systems within the plane that get people to spend more 795 00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:58,160 Speaker 1: to get privileged to go down. We got to stop 796 00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:01,120 Speaker 1: letting these disabled people on for I mean, that's where 797 00:40:01,200 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 1: the slowdown is happening. Yes, I am am all four 798 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,480 Speaker 1: letting the disabled people on first and last and first 799 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:12,960 Speaker 1: off whatever they want to go ves and disabled people 800 00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:17,160 Speaker 1: or dosabled disabled veterans. No, I'm okay with that. Problem 801 00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:21,880 Speaker 1: with the Southwest saying that it's like, so it's a 802 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:26,320 Speaker 1: socialist flight, you know, everyone's the same. Um. However, I 803 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,839 Speaker 1: like that as a celebrity people always go you're flying 804 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,200 Speaker 1: Southwest or you poor. I'm like, it's not sucking spirit. 805 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,800 Speaker 1: It's Southwest. They treat you well, two bags fly free. 806 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,399 Speaker 1: My problem with Southwest so is even they're getting into 807 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 1: the business of you want to pay some extra you'll 808 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:41,920 Speaker 1: get in the A one through ten and it's like, no, Southwest, 809 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:43,560 Speaker 1: it's not what it was about. And then if you're 810 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,200 Speaker 1: frequent Southwest buyer, which I am, and you try to 811 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,560 Speaker 1: sign on for your flight and twenty four hours the 812 00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:50,960 Speaker 1: flight goes live so you can check in and then 813 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,680 Speaker 1: you get your seat assignment. Right, we all know that 814 00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:55,120 Speaker 1: you can be the second person, Like you can do 815 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,040 Speaker 1: it at ten o'clock on the dot and go and 816 00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,080 Speaker 1: put in your confirmation number and check in and you 817 00:41:00,120 --> 00:41:02,560 Speaker 1: will get C twelve. It's like, that's like when they 818 00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,799 Speaker 1: say Taylor Swift concerts sell out, she sells out eight 819 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:08,040 Speaker 1: stable centers in two minutes. I go, how there was 820 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:11,680 Speaker 1: already systems in place for computers to get in line. 821 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:14,440 Speaker 1: There's something fishy going on. It is actually not fair. 822 00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,319 Speaker 1: Last couple of times when I flew to Southwest with View, 823 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,280 Speaker 1: we got like A one and A three. But because 824 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,319 Speaker 1: we were we we were flown out by companies that 825 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,560 Speaker 1: booked us on the A list preferred with extra money. 826 00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:29,120 Speaker 1: So that's why next story. I love this seating though, 827 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,839 Speaker 1: and I really hope its I just feel like if 828 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,799 Speaker 1: it's right in your face. I told my dad about 829 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,279 Speaker 1: you know what I mean that if you farted I 830 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:41,759 Speaker 1: get that, but that's no, it's not. I mean I 831 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:44,200 Speaker 1: it is, but there's not like event that's coming from 832 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,160 Speaker 1: the back of your seat directly into the person's face. 833 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:48,800 Speaker 1: I will say the real quick. My dad, on the 834 00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:51,359 Speaker 1: way back from Greece said the worst part was and 835 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,359 Speaker 1: the way there was that he had to fart so 836 00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:55,319 Speaker 1: bad and it hurts so bad to hold it in. 837 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,439 Speaker 1: Because my dad is someone who passed his gas a lot. 838 00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,399 Speaker 1: He's like an older man and he and I'm someone 839 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:02,520 Speaker 1: that does too, so I understand his body, I said, Dad. 840 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 1: First of all, the sound is not something to worry 841 00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:07,640 Speaker 1: about on the plane, because you have the white noise 842 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,640 Speaker 1: of the airplane. Everyone has has headphones on for the 843 00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:12,239 Speaker 1: most part. The smell is the issue, right, what you 844 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:14,160 Speaker 1: do and if you don't know this, my dad had 845 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,400 Speaker 1: not known this in his sixty six years of living. 846 00:42:17,040 --> 00:42:19,759 Speaker 1: I go, Dad, you take the blanket or whatever, like 847 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:22,839 Speaker 1: your sweatshirt, your jean jacket, and you bawl it up 848 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,480 Speaker 1: and you sit on it so that it creates a muffler, 849 00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,040 Speaker 1: like a big muffler. And not only does that muffle 850 00:42:29,120 --> 00:42:31,279 Speaker 1: the sound, which we're not even worried about to begin with, 851 00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:34,640 Speaker 1: it soaks up the smell enough that it won't get 852 00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:38,880 Speaker 1: out crazy, It will dissipate a lot, the particles will 853 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,440 Speaker 1: get out even slower, and you can fart safely without 854 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,759 Speaker 1: because that's really no, no, no no, no, I would I mean, 855 00:42:46,800 --> 00:42:49,000 Speaker 1: spread your cheek, but then stuff that sweatshirt up in it. 856 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:51,600 Speaker 1: No one's paying attention to you, and really fart into 857 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:55,839 Speaker 1: a bald up towel or blanket and it will soak 858 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,520 Speaker 1: up the smell and won't bother your freshman year when 859 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,560 Speaker 1: you would smoke weed in the door and you would 860 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:03,279 Speaker 1: blow it into the gatorade with the dryer sheets, that's what. 861 00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:08,640 Speaker 1: But aren't you bringing more attention to yourself next paying attention? 862 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,840 Speaker 1: I swear, I just straight up fart on planes. I 863 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,600 Speaker 1: don't even think about it, Like the smell is the 864 00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:15,480 Speaker 1: smell is not going to come back to you. Uh. 865 00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:18,359 Speaker 1: That's but that's really rude to do to people when 866 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:20,560 Speaker 1: someone farts and they go, well, you couldn't hear it 867 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,359 Speaker 1: and you can't trace it to me. It's like, that's 868 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,560 Speaker 1: still just gross to put that poop smell from someone's 869 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,680 Speaker 1: butthole in the air in the confined space. I think 870 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:31,280 Speaker 1: it's rude, But isn't your jacket gonna smell like farts eventually? Maybe, 871 00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,880 Speaker 1: but that's your jacket, and or you could use the plane. 872 00:43:35,120 --> 00:43:36,640 Speaker 1: And why doesn't he just go to the bathroom because 873 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,239 Speaker 1: it was because it's what you know. He has a 874 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:42,200 Speaker 1: constantly I do too sometimes like I'm a I'm a 875 00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:45,600 Speaker 1: farter burper, like I just I'm constantly gaseous. Someone wrote 876 00:43:45,600 --> 00:43:47,680 Speaker 1: to me and said that I've been like burping on 877 00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:49,640 Speaker 1: the mic, and I'm horrified by it, and I just 878 00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:51,359 Speaker 1: want to call out that, like I am aware of it. 879 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:53,200 Speaker 1: Please do not right in if you hear it. It's 880 00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:56,319 Speaker 1: really embarrassing for me. I obviously try not to do that. 881 00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:59,320 Speaker 1: I will be very diligent about not making weird sounds 882 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,880 Speaker 1: with my throat and mouth, but just don't tell me 883 00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,200 Speaker 1: about it. I know. And it's too embarrassing when you 884 00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:07,000 Speaker 1: write in that I'm doing it, because then you're going 885 00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:09,000 Speaker 1: to overthink it. Every other thing you can write in 886 00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:11,759 Speaker 1: about that annoys you about me, and I'll maybe tell 887 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,520 Speaker 1: you to stop doing it. But the mouth sounds or 888 00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:17,600 Speaker 1: like my throat or any kind of things, I really 889 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:19,440 Speaker 1: am trying not to do that, and so just know 890 00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,160 Speaker 1: that I can't help it if I'm doing it and 891 00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:26,920 Speaker 1: I'm trying my best. Next story, Uh, celebrity, Um, Chris 892 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:31,600 Speaker 1: Harrison will not host Bachelor in Paradise. That celebrity guests will, 893 00:44:32,040 --> 00:44:34,440 Speaker 1: and your friend David Spade is one of those people. 894 00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:36,840 Speaker 1: I know. I've known about this for a bit now 895 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:41,919 Speaker 1: because David Spade is one of my best friends. And yes, 896 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,400 Speaker 1: I am bragging about that because it's the coolest thing 897 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:48,040 Speaker 1: that's ever happened to me. Um, because he's the funniest 898 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:50,400 Speaker 1: person in the world and is the same person I 899 00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,040 Speaker 1: watched stuff from him in the nineties when I first 900 00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:54,640 Speaker 1: was like, I want to be friends with that person. 901 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,160 Speaker 1: He's still that person we're just talking about this morning. 902 00:44:57,160 --> 00:45:01,080 Speaker 1: He has the energy and the like kind of attitude 903 00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:06,560 Speaker 1: and he's just a youngster. He's still very he's still 904 00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:11,440 Speaker 1: very fun and just silly and uh, definitely not someone 905 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 1: who big times anyone. Yeah, and he just feels like 906 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:20,840 Speaker 1: he really knows who he is. I don't know, I 907 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:24,879 Speaker 1: thought comes off like he kind of like he he 908 00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:27,480 Speaker 1: knows who he is. I mean, he's maybe comedically he 909 00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:30,360 Speaker 1: knows who he is enough. Well, the other night I 910 00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:31,719 Speaker 1: was hanging out with him. First of all, he is 911 00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:35,239 Speaker 1: doing Bachelor in Paradise, which, if you don't know, I am. 912 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,240 Speaker 1: Also I'm doing a show that's coming out this summer 913 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,799 Speaker 1: that I can't talk about. And people have been speculating 914 00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 1: now that they've announced these guests celebrity, that I was 915 00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:45,359 Speaker 1: doing Bachelor in Paradise. That's what a lot of people 916 00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:47,080 Speaker 1: while I was down there thought I was doing. It 917 00:45:47,200 --> 00:45:49,800 Speaker 1: is not what I was doing. It's very it's similar 918 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:52,080 Speaker 1: to what I was doing. I would be down there 919 00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,840 Speaker 1: co host. I would because I even told Dave last night. 920 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,640 Speaker 1: I was like, God, I wish I could be down 921 00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:58,040 Speaker 1: there with you when you're doing this, because it would 922 00:45:58,040 --> 00:45:59,400 Speaker 1: be so fun to like hang on. He's like, you 923 00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,120 Speaker 1: should try to do it, and I was like, I can't. 924 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,520 Speaker 1: I can't, or else it would be because I love, 925 00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:07,840 Speaker 1: you know, dating reality shows. Dave's gonna be amazing at it. 926 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:11,640 Speaker 1: He's gonna be so fucking funny and um and what 927 00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,000 Speaker 1: I wanted to say about, wait, what did you just 928 00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:17,239 Speaker 1: say about Chris Harrison's done? You said something about he's 929 00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:23,960 Speaker 1: confident in his comedy. I realized the other night that no, 930 00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:26,360 Speaker 1: he even at the dinner. He drove me to my 931 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,319 Speaker 1: set and I went on stage, and I had a 932 00:46:28,480 --> 00:46:30,920 Speaker 1: fucking great set, so much fun. I'm not even nervous 933 00:46:30,920 --> 00:46:32,719 Speaker 1: about him watching me anymore, because in the beginning I 934 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:35,439 Speaker 1: used to be of like my comedy idols. I got 935 00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:39,120 Speaker 1: off stage and and he had written me all these notes, 936 00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:41,920 Speaker 1: like jokes he liked, and tags and stuff, and we 937 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:44,160 Speaker 1: were driving to the next set, and I go, I 938 00:46:44,160 --> 00:46:46,759 Speaker 1: gotta tell you, I sounded like you up there. I go. 939 00:46:46,800 --> 00:46:49,279 Speaker 1: I couldn't help myself. I was doing so many you 940 00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:52,040 Speaker 1: isms because I hung out with him for dinner and 941 00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,160 Speaker 1: he is my favorite comics, my favorite stand up um 942 00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:58,240 Speaker 1: one of you know, top five for sure, maybe tied 943 00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,760 Speaker 1: for first with other people. But I go, I sounded 944 00:47:01,840 --> 00:47:04,759 Speaker 1: so much like okay, So let me give you this 945 00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:09,000 Speaker 1: is just Cadence um uh doing a joke. Da dada 946 00:47:09,239 --> 00:47:11,960 Speaker 1: da da da da da da No no, no no, no, 947 00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:17,279 Speaker 1: that no dada that like it's like just little. If 948 00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,520 Speaker 1: you listen to me, you will realize. And you listen 949 00:47:19,520 --> 00:47:22,120 Speaker 1: to David Spade, I hope you see overlap because I'm 950 00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:26,120 Speaker 1: trying to do what he's doing because he's the funniest. One. 951 00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:28,359 Speaker 1: More thing he told me after I said that, I go, David, 952 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:29,440 Speaker 1: I just want to let you know that if you 953 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:32,279 Speaker 1: saw you and me up there, I'm aware of it, 954 00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:34,160 Speaker 1: and I can't hang out with you because I'm gonna 955 00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:35,719 Speaker 1: start sounding like you. I don't hate it for me 956 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,840 Speaker 1: because I killed. I go when I kill. Now I 957 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,279 Speaker 1: realized it's because I'm doing you, and I don't even 958 00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:42,239 Speaker 1: mean to do it. It's just like it was. It's 959 00:47:42,640 --> 00:47:45,440 Speaker 1: I am such a mimic. I'm someone who's so insecure 960 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:47,960 Speaker 1: when I was little that I wanted to be everyone else, 961 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,200 Speaker 1: so I would mimic other people so that people would 962 00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:52,080 Speaker 1: like me as much as they like those people. Even 963 00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:55,320 Speaker 1: though the reason people like Kay Miller isn't cutsheet talks 964 00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,959 Speaker 1: like this. If I just started talking like that, people 965 00:47:58,960 --> 00:48:01,760 Speaker 1: aren't gonna like me as much as Katie Miller. Uh. 966 00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:04,200 Speaker 1: It's just like, you know, like I would choose, I 967 00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:05,960 Speaker 1: did the same thing. I would tell if I was 968 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,879 Speaker 1: talking to someone from New York, I would talk more. 969 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,160 Speaker 1: I still do it with my hands more, and I'm 970 00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,239 Speaker 1: more in New York. And then when I'm talking to 971 00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:14,200 Speaker 1: my broad from the South, I'll just say, man, yeah, 972 00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,239 Speaker 1: I love a fire in a little golf. Yeah, I 973 00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:19,200 Speaker 1: see you do it. You get when we go South yeah, 974 00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:21,160 Speaker 1: I do it all the time, and you as a kid, 975 00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:25,480 Speaker 1: I went through every face skater. Uh. You know um 976 00:48:25,680 --> 00:48:28,600 Speaker 1: guy that checked his pubes in the sun. He told me. 977 00:48:28,800 --> 00:48:31,040 Speaker 1: Um he told me, though he goes, oh, that's funny. 978 00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:32,560 Speaker 1: He goes, I didn't notice, and I go, I think 979 00:48:32,640 --> 00:48:35,560 Speaker 1: he probably did. He goes, uh one of his famous 980 00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,360 Speaker 1: buddies wrote him, or he goes one of you know. 981 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,040 Speaker 1: He said the name I don't want to say who 982 00:48:40,200 --> 00:48:43,640 Speaker 1: called me early on and said, you know who is 983 00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:46,480 Speaker 1: doing you on stage? And he said another name of 984 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,640 Speaker 1: a comic, And I go, that's so funny, because people 985 00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:53,440 Speaker 1: accuse me of sounding like that comic. And the fact 986 00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:56,000 Speaker 1: of the reason I sound like the comic is not 987 00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,319 Speaker 1: because I want to be that comic. It's because they 988 00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:01,080 Speaker 1: sound like you. I want to be you. And it 989 00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:03,000 Speaker 1: was just such a I was like, oh my god, 990 00:49:03,160 --> 00:49:06,239 Speaker 1: it's you. It was you all along. David. I never 991 00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:09,080 Speaker 1: know whether to call him David Dave or Spade, call 992 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:11,799 Speaker 1: him Joe Dirt. He did the funniest thing the other 993 00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,279 Speaker 1: day where I said something inappropriate. I was asking him 994 00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,719 Speaker 1: if he knews those where sex clubs are in Hollywood, 995 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:19,120 Speaker 1: and I just was out with it, like I was like, Dave, 996 00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:23,000 Speaker 1: I go, David, where's where's some Hollywood sex clubs? I 997 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:28,920 Speaker 1: want to hear about them? And he goes Nicky Louise 998 00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:33,640 Speaker 1: was so funny. It made me feel like I wanted 999 00:49:33,719 --> 00:49:37,000 Speaker 1: to be that's my my niece's middle name. When she 1000 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:38,719 Speaker 1: asked me about sex clubs, I'll be able to say 1001 00:49:38,719 --> 00:49:41,560 Speaker 1: Poppy Louise. M all right, let's go to the sports 1002 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:51,160 Speaker 1: moment gears Andrew's weekly sports moment love again and so 1003 00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:55,080 Speaker 1: he sound even more thrilled. Okay. Four time Grand Slam 1004 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:59,240 Speaker 1: champion Naomi Osaka withdrew from the French Open on Monday 1005 00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,800 Speaker 1: and wrote on twit her that she would be taking 1006 00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:05,920 Speaker 1: a break from competition uh these days after she had 1007 00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:10,320 Speaker 1: experienced huge ways of anxiety before speaking to the media 1008 00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:13,359 Speaker 1: and revealed she has suffered long bounce with depression. All Right, 1009 00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:18,640 Speaker 1: I heard about this, Um, I like it. I like 1010 00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:22,200 Speaker 1: her tenacity in the face of Hey, I'm uncomfortable with 1011 00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:24,400 Speaker 1: this part of the sport and I don't want to 1012 00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:26,279 Speaker 1: do it, and if you make me do it, then 1013 00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:28,480 Speaker 1: I just I've already proven myself I don't need to 1014 00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,600 Speaker 1: do it anymore. Is that essentially she just doesn't want 1015 00:50:30,600 --> 00:50:32,640 Speaker 1: to answer to everything she did wrong on the court 1016 00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:36,560 Speaker 1: after she just won. Well, journalists took extreme offense to 1017 00:50:36,680 --> 00:50:41,000 Speaker 1: her when we met. You want you, we do questions 1018 00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:43,600 Speaker 1: answered you person that isn't as good at sports as 1019 00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,000 Speaker 1: you wish you were, and so you got into journalism 1020 00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:48,120 Speaker 1: because you're good at that, which is commendable as well. 1021 00:50:49,920 --> 00:50:51,839 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, like what why do we need to make 1022 00:50:51,880 --> 00:50:55,000 Speaker 1: this girl I have anxiety? Well also, like so she 1023 00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:57,120 Speaker 1: was getting fine and it was becoming like a bigger 1024 00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,120 Speaker 1: story than she even wanted to, which obviously is just 1025 00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:02,240 Speaker 1: going to add to her anxiety of Like now she's 1026 00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:05,880 Speaker 1: like the people hate millennials and and x xers and 1027 00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:09,319 Speaker 1: their anxiety. These these people that these older people that 1028 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:13,399 Speaker 1: are going oh anxiety to presidents that's all day. It's like, yeah, 1029 00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,200 Speaker 1: you would do if you were raised with a phone 1030 00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,920 Speaker 1: in your face. I mean she was only fine, fifteen 1031 00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:21,279 Speaker 1: grand but the think people get maddig. Well, that's part 1032 00:51:21,280 --> 00:51:24,160 Speaker 1: of the sport. You gotta answer some questions. You ain't 1033 00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:27,440 Speaker 1: tough enough, and it's like that's two different things. But 1034 00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,200 Speaker 1: people don't want to hear that. They're like, well, maybe 1035 00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,200 Speaker 1: if you can't answer your questions, you're not tough enough 1036 00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:33,640 Speaker 1: for tennis. And it's like, and you make all that money, 1037 00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,719 Speaker 1: people don't want to hear that. Yeah, it's part I 1038 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:39,280 Speaker 1: get it. It's part of the financial responsibility. The responsibility 1039 00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:41,719 Speaker 1: you have being paid. What you do is to provide 1040 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:47,120 Speaker 1: content around the fact around what you're doing, like you 1041 00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:51,840 Speaker 1: provide sound bites and and provide you know, ESPN clips 1042 00:51:51,920 --> 00:51:54,600 Speaker 1: of a press conference. You need to give them more. 1043 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:57,680 Speaker 1: It's part of it. I get it. But does it 1044 00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,640 Speaker 1: have to be does it take someone standing up and 1045 00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:03,479 Speaker 1: going know to maybe change that model? Yeah, and so 1046 00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,439 Speaker 1: good for her and what um what do you feel 1047 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:08,719 Speaker 1: about it as as a person who knows sports. Um, 1048 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:11,640 Speaker 1: I think that she's a little bit and she needs 1049 00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:14,040 Speaker 1: to know. Can you imagine if that was my take? No, 1050 00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:17,600 Speaker 1: I think like I think I I it's hard. It's 1051 00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:21,120 Speaker 1: way harder to go hey, I'm rich, and I still 1052 00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:25,080 Speaker 1: have issues to knowing that she's going to get the backlash, 1053 00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:26,960 Speaker 1: you know what I mean about her being rich. People 1054 00:52:27,000 --> 00:52:29,000 Speaker 1: are just like, why are you complaining your rich? You're rich, 1055 00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,400 Speaker 1: You're well you said the other day with Russell Westbrook, 1056 00:52:31,480 --> 00:52:34,400 Speaker 1: like you play, you get paid to play with a ball. 1057 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:39,520 Speaker 1: But I think that that you know, the the amount. 1058 00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,080 Speaker 1: I just I hate that analogy when people say that 1059 00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,920 Speaker 1: about these athletes because the amount of work it takes 1060 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:48,200 Speaker 1: to become a professional and how many people they compete against, 1061 00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:51,600 Speaker 1: and then the amount of less work you can do 1062 00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,719 Speaker 1: as working as like a financial analyst and even make 1063 00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,280 Speaker 1: half that, And then you go, well, you're just playing 1064 00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,719 Speaker 1: a sport. You want to see them play with an 1065 00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:02,319 Speaker 1: hour or in front of you, and it's you just 1066 00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,520 Speaker 1: don't know the work that comes behind it. Because if 1067 00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,600 Speaker 1: you read Ogassy his book, andre Agassi's book, I think 1068 00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:12,600 Speaker 1: it's called, isn't it AGAs andre AGAs, I say, I 1069 00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:16,600 Speaker 1: think I don't know. Honestly, I don't know who's right here. 1070 00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:18,919 Speaker 1: I felt right, but I would totally admit to being wrong. 1071 00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:24,239 Speaker 1: But when I read Agassy, uh, and I have no 1072 00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,080 Speaker 1: interest in tennis, don't know how to score, don't know 1073 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:29,800 Speaker 1: how to follow it, don't really care um I learned. 1074 00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:35,520 Speaker 1: And also reading this other book called um the Talent Code, 1075 00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:39,880 Speaker 1: which is about how people aren't really naturally born talented, 1076 00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:43,440 Speaker 1: like yeah, you can be have a different musculature structure 1077 00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:47,040 Speaker 1: that makes you predisposed, or you know, you vocal chords 1078 00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:50,200 Speaker 1: that are healthier than someone else's. But truly, what makes 1079 00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:55,760 Speaker 1: people talented is working. And um Beyonce is an example 1080 00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:57,680 Speaker 1: they use in that book that it was like, yeah, 1081 00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:01,200 Speaker 1: of course she's beautiful and has a predisposition for singing 1082 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:04,520 Speaker 1: and dancing, But if you look at the hours that 1083 00:54:04,560 --> 00:54:07,799 Speaker 1: girl put in, no one can touch it, much like 1084 00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:11,280 Speaker 1: no one can touch Beyonce in talent. And really what 1085 00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:15,960 Speaker 1: the truth behind talent is not you know, a child 1086 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,799 Speaker 1: sitting down at a piano and playing Mozart and just 1087 00:54:18,880 --> 00:54:20,359 Speaker 1: knowing it, and you go, how did he know it? 1088 00:54:20,560 --> 00:54:23,680 Speaker 1: Or Beyonce just knowing how to sing like that? It's practice. 1089 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,080 Speaker 1: And that's what I always say about comedy. It's like 1090 00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,359 Speaker 1: when people go, you're so good, I go, or they 1091 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,560 Speaker 1: ever compliment me, it's hours. That's why I do a 1092 00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:36,040 Speaker 1: daily podcast. I want to stay. It's the mount, It's 1093 00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,440 Speaker 1: the it's the hours you put in guitar. I'm gonna 1094 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,520 Speaker 1: be as good as Taylor Swift if she if Taylor 1095 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:45,480 Speaker 1: Swift somehow stopped playing guitar today. In let's say she 1096 00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,120 Speaker 1: started when she was like eleven playing guitar. She's now 1097 00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:52,680 Speaker 1: thirty one. If you give me twenty years and practice 1098 00:54:52,680 --> 00:54:55,920 Speaker 1: as much as her. I probably won't sound as good 1099 00:54:55,920 --> 00:54:57,880 Speaker 1: as her because my voice is a little bit aged. 1100 00:54:58,200 --> 00:54:59,680 Speaker 1: But I could be as good as a guitar player 1101 00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:01,640 Speaker 1: as her. I could be as good if I do 1102 00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:03,839 Speaker 1: the same hours, I can pretty much be in that 1103 00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:07,440 Speaker 1: realm of anyone. Anyone listening right now. You could be 1104 00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,839 Speaker 1: a stand up comedian right now if I've been doing 1105 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:12,440 Speaker 1: it for seventeen years. If you started now and did 1106 00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:15,480 Speaker 1: open mix every single night and became obsessed with comedy, 1107 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:18,920 Speaker 1: you too could be hilarious and carry a show. The 1108 00:55:19,000 --> 00:55:23,600 Speaker 1: hardest part those kind of things a certain sports. For basketball, 1109 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:25,520 Speaker 1: he needs a hoop and the ball, you know, like 1110 00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:27,440 Speaker 1: for stand up you need a crowp like you can't 1111 00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:30,800 Speaker 1: just it's certain things are easier. You just got to 1112 00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:33,600 Speaker 1: go out. And I always feel guilty that my practice 1113 00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:37,000 Speaker 1: was going out to clubs and like not sitting at home. 1114 00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:38,879 Speaker 1: When I think about Taylor Swift, which I compare myself 1115 00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:40,160 Speaker 1: to her a lot now that I'm trying to be 1116 00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:44,160 Speaker 1: a singer songwriter, and that's a true statement, I think 1117 00:55:44,200 --> 00:55:46,960 Speaker 1: about all the hours she spent alone practicing a guitar 1118 00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,000 Speaker 1: and how much work goes into that, and I go, God, 1119 00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:50,879 Speaker 1: I didn't do the same for stand up, and I go, yes, 1120 00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:54,239 Speaker 1: you did. You waited an open mics, you signed up. 1121 00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:58,080 Speaker 1: You waited for them to pick the pick the names. 1122 00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:00,200 Speaker 1: But to me, that's hanging out and it's not like 1123 00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:03,520 Speaker 1: sitting down and thinking about lyrics. But all of that 1124 00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,560 Speaker 1: waiting around talking to comics about comedy, about tags, that's 1125 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:09,279 Speaker 1: all the same kind of work. So I am the 1126 00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:12,840 Speaker 1: tailor shift of comedy. Let's get to the first. But 1127 00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:15,600 Speaker 1: like people like Kobe Bryant and like people like Lebron, 1128 00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:17,600 Speaker 1: I was being facetious when I said that, but I 1129 00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:21,160 Speaker 1: do really want people to compare mental Yeah, yeah, Taylor, Yeah, 1130 00:56:21,200 --> 00:56:24,080 Speaker 1: I've been saying every years. Okay, yeah, you're better than her. 1131 00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,799 Speaker 1: Actually fashioning. Oh wait, there's no fashioning there. We could 1132 00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:29,680 Speaker 1: talk about this stuffer all day, but we do gotta 1133 00:56:29,680 --> 00:56:31,640 Speaker 1: get to listener mail because we've got some good ones today. 1134 00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:34,840 Speaker 1: So grateful for our listeners. You guys are the fucking best. 1135 00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:38,239 Speaker 1: I talked about you yesterday on a Yahoo interview I 1136 00:56:38,280 --> 00:56:41,800 Speaker 1: did about mental health, about my listeners and how much 1137 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:45,400 Speaker 1: this podcast has made me feel like closer to my 1138 00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:48,560 Speaker 1: fans than I ever imagined I could be. And so 1139 00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,319 Speaker 1: I'm just really grateful, whether you're listening for the first 1140 00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:52,200 Speaker 1: time today and you're like easy, Nikki, I just like 1141 00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:54,879 Speaker 1: accidentally turned this on, like I love you that much, 1142 00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:58,359 Speaker 1: or you're someone who listens every day. Thank you. Let's 1143 00:56:58,360 --> 00:57:05,120 Speaker 1: listen to Megan's voice message. Hey, Hey, Nikki and Andrew, 1144 00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:08,239 Speaker 1: this is Megan calling from upstate New York. I had 1145 00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:11,239 Speaker 1: to pause the pod and send you a quick voicemail. 1146 00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:15,680 Speaker 1: I think the Machine Gun Kelly song that you're referring 1147 00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:19,280 Speaker 1: to with more like Mandy is because she has wrote 1148 00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:23,680 Speaker 1: a song called called Candy. Yes, Girl, Yes, I just 1149 00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:26,680 Speaker 1: wanted to connect those stats for you guys. Hope everything's 1150 00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:32,520 Speaker 1: going well. Thanks girl. All the swells by all right. Megan, 1151 00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:37,439 Speaker 1: you and several other besties wrote to me and said, 1152 00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:40,640 Speaker 1: Nikki Mandy, I was right about Mandy Moore. I got 1153 00:57:40,640 --> 00:57:42,840 Speaker 1: there on my own without putting it together that yes, 1154 00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:45,560 Speaker 1: of course I know that Mandy Moore had a hit song, 1155 00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:51,080 Speaker 1: her first hit single, called I'm Missing You Like Candy, 1156 00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:56,760 Speaker 1: Missing You like Candy, sweet sweet love it. God, there's 1157 00:57:56,760 --> 00:57:59,080 Speaker 1: a part of it where she goes like, oh, it's 1158 00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:02,680 Speaker 1: like a little bit of Jessica Simpson. It was so good. 1159 00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:06,320 Speaker 1: And the fact that I did not know put that 1160 00:58:06,400 --> 00:58:09,040 Speaker 1: together is embarrassing, and I am grateful for all my 1161 00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,800 Speaker 1: besties for not being like duh and being very kind 1162 00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:14,360 Speaker 1: about it, like, hey, you might consider that it was 1163 00:58:14,440 --> 00:58:16,400 Speaker 1: very sweet how they all said it, But yes, you 1164 00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:20,280 Speaker 1: are right and I and it's funny because Andrew you go, 1165 00:58:20,400 --> 00:58:22,040 Speaker 1: that's the joke, that's it, and I go, yeah, that's it. 1166 00:58:22,080 --> 00:58:24,240 Speaker 1: That's why it's brilliant. But it wasn't. It was wrong. 1167 00:58:24,560 --> 00:58:26,920 Speaker 1: But yeah, I never would have went there. All right, 1168 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:30,880 Speaker 1: let's get to uh. This is from Stephie Stephie Graf 1169 00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:35,600 Speaker 1: maybe obviusly Hi, Nikki, Andrew and Noah. My name's Stephie. 1170 00:58:35,680 --> 00:58:38,720 Speaker 1: And I was a huge fan of the Up podcast, 1171 00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:41,920 Speaker 1: so when the Nicky Glazer podcast started up, I was 1172 00:58:42,200 --> 00:58:45,560 Speaker 1: fucking stoked. I just wanted to share that cut is 1173 00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:47,760 Speaker 1: like my favorite thing ever. It's like my new joy 1174 00:58:47,800 --> 00:58:51,120 Speaker 1: in life to share with all my friends and like, 1175 00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:55,080 Speaker 1: let's go at myself. Whenever I get a Facebook memory 1176 00:58:55,160 --> 00:58:58,920 Speaker 1: of an old status uptain, I feel like that like 1177 00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:02,680 Speaker 1: every single But the thing I really wanted to call 1178 00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:06,440 Speaker 1: and share is that now, whenever I hear a song 1179 00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:10,320 Speaker 1: that has the word cool in it, my brain changes 1180 00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:14,160 Speaker 1: it to CUK and it gives me the best laugh. 1181 00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:24,880 Speaker 1: For example, this song with Jeezy, I hear she said, 1182 00:59:25,040 --> 00:59:34,560 Speaker 1: I'm dude, it's true. Oh my god, pet is so cute. Um. 1183 00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:36,680 Speaker 1: First of all, I love the name Steffie. I think 1184 00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:38,440 Speaker 1: that that is going to go on my list of 1185 00:59:38,520 --> 00:59:42,520 Speaker 1: names for daughters that will never have It's a great name. Um, Steffie, 1186 00:59:42,560 --> 00:59:46,160 Speaker 1: that is such a I love the idea that this 1187 00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:47,840 Speaker 1: thing that I came up with in high school with 1188 00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:50,360 Speaker 1: my friends is like really people are using it and 1189 00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:53,000 Speaker 1: actually not trying to use it. They're just like naturally, 1190 00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:55,800 Speaker 1: that's the way to not be It's got to be 1191 00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:58,760 Speaker 1: natural and organic. That's what we strive for here. And 1192 00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:01,240 Speaker 1: it's really fun when there's songs people are hearing the 1193 01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:04,440 Speaker 1: word cut a lot of times, like there is Yeah, 1194 01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:07,160 Speaker 1: I mean the one the Ali Lohan song that someone 1195 01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:09,120 Speaker 1: sent me that is in my phone now. I mean 1196 01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:11,200 Speaker 1: I can't not play it because I put it on 1197 01:00:11,240 --> 01:00:13,200 Speaker 1: our story And if in case you missed it, you 1198 01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:15,840 Speaker 1: can go to Nicki Glazer Pod on our Instagram to 1199 01:00:15,960 --> 01:00:18,439 Speaker 1: send us d M s and we'll maybe read there's 1200 01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:20,760 Speaker 1: those on listener mail, or you can follow the link 1201 01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:23,000 Speaker 1: in our bio to leave us a voice memo. And 1202 01:00:23,240 --> 01:00:25,000 Speaker 1: for all of you scared to leave a voice memo, 1203 01:00:25,040 --> 01:00:27,120 Speaker 1: I've I've sensed that some people are like, I'm so nervous, 1204 01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:30,840 Speaker 1: I might sound dumb. Girl boy, I some dumb all 1205 01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:32,600 Speaker 1: the time on here. We will never make fun of 1206 01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,400 Speaker 1: you ever, So you have nothing to worry about in 1207 01:00:35,440 --> 01:00:40,600 Speaker 1: that way. But here is Ali lohan sister. No, I 1208 01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:42,080 Speaker 1: just I feel like I want to promise them I 1209 01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:45,440 Speaker 1: won't make fun of them, to give them all the swells. Okay, 1210 01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:49,640 Speaker 1: so this one was Silent Night, which we all know 1211 01:00:49,720 --> 01:00:52,960 Speaker 1: the lyrics to Silent Night. Uh is all is calm, 1212 01:00:53,160 --> 01:00:56,360 Speaker 1: all is bright? Right, Okay, let's see what. Let's see what? 1213 01:00:56,840 --> 01:01:00,040 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, this is Dina Lohan. Oh yeah, this is 1214 01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:17,680 Speaker 1: actually yeah her mom. Okay, what the hell is she 1215 01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:19,680 Speaker 1: trying to say cool? Like she's changing the lyrics or 1216 01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:23,480 Speaker 1: is that her attempt at calm. I don't know. I 1217 01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:26,120 Speaker 1: think I hear an am at the end. I mean 1218 01:01:26,880 --> 01:01:34,480 Speaker 1: it's it's I do think it's wild too. I mean, guys, 1219 01:01:34,600 --> 01:01:40,040 Speaker 1: and what it says by Dina Lohan, But the album 1220 01:01:40,120 --> 01:01:42,240 Speaker 1: is Ali Lohan, so I think this is Ali, this 1221 01:01:42,320 --> 01:01:44,520 Speaker 1: is her sister, and it's called Silent Night, and you 1222 01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:47,160 Speaker 1: guys make sure we are going to really rock that 1223 01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:51,440 Speaker 1: song around Christmas time. Who's listening to that song in June? 1224 01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:53,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean the girl who sent it to me. 1225 01:01:53,800 --> 01:01:56,960 Speaker 1: I go big, what is happening that you listen to this? 1226 01:01:57,040 --> 01:01:59,960 Speaker 1: And she gave me the whole like what happened? God? 1227 01:02:00,320 --> 01:02:02,680 Speaker 1: And it made sense and it really I related to 1228 01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:04,440 Speaker 1: it of going down these wormholes where you're like, how 1229 01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:07,360 Speaker 1: did I end up on Ali Lohan's Christmas album in 1230 01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:11,120 Speaker 1: in fucking May of and and you know what? Sometimes 1231 01:02:11,120 --> 01:02:13,520 Speaker 1: that's that's that should be like a thing we say, like, 1232 01:02:13,600 --> 01:02:15,720 Speaker 1: you know, listen, it's sucking al A Lohan's Christmas album. 1233 01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:17,360 Speaker 1: I don't know how I got there. That should be 1234 01:02:17,360 --> 01:02:20,600 Speaker 1: a way of saying that. Um okay. The next user 1235 01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:24,960 Speaker 1: listener mail. This one is another voice memo, which are 1236 01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:28,640 Speaker 1: I gotta be honest? My favorite? This is from Emily Hi, Hello, 1237 01:02:28,680 --> 01:02:31,040 Speaker 1: Hello Nicky, Andrew, what's up? Love you guys, Thank you 1238 01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:34,880 Speaker 1: so much. This is mostly for Nicky. Nicky, Oh my god, 1239 01:02:35,160 --> 01:02:38,680 Speaker 1: looking so stunning, shining like sucking mirror ball. You are 1240 01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,280 Speaker 1: the moment everyone's obsessed with you. It's just it is 1241 01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:43,360 Speaker 1: what it is. That's why I should f jump on stage. 1242 01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:48,960 Speaker 1: Everyone's feeling you, especially Machine Gun Kelly laughing just a 1243 01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:53,880 Speaker 1: bit too hard to be sitting next to anyhow, Thank 1244 01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:56,120 Speaker 1: you guys so much for you. That just made my 1245 01:02:56,200 --> 01:03:01,840 Speaker 1: vagina twitch. That was too much. Okay, bye uh Emily, 1246 01:03:01,960 --> 01:03:04,440 Speaker 1: thank you for saying what everyone is saying, which is 1247 01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:08,040 Speaker 1: the video I posted of me um kind of stealing 1248 01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:10,160 Speaker 1: the microphone from Usher after he asked me to dance. 1249 01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:13,560 Speaker 1: I proceeded to make some jokes. I haven't even watched 1250 01:03:13,560 --> 01:03:16,160 Speaker 1: the video because I I didn't want to even look 1251 01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:17,760 Speaker 1: at what I said. Apparently you can't really hear it, 1252 01:03:18,080 --> 01:03:19,800 Speaker 1: but if you do look in the background I posted 1253 01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:22,480 Speaker 1: on my Instagram, my own personal one, you can see 1254 01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:25,440 Speaker 1: Machine Gun Kelly laughing so hard, which it was just 1255 01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:28,360 Speaker 1: so generous of him because he knows that everyone's watching 1256 01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:30,800 Speaker 1: him and as someone and oftentimes when I'm in a 1257 01:03:30,840 --> 01:03:33,880 Speaker 1: crowd where you know, I see people know who I 1258 01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,000 Speaker 1: am and trust my sense of humor and what I 1259 01:03:36,080 --> 01:03:38,320 Speaker 1: think is cool, I will give people. I will give 1260 01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:41,440 Speaker 1: extra to set a tone for the room. So that's 1261 01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:43,040 Speaker 1: what he did for me, and I even thanked him 1262 01:03:43,040 --> 01:03:46,960 Speaker 1: afterwards and said, legit. Everyone laughed because you were laughing. 1263 01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,280 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, so it was really nice of him. 1264 01:03:49,320 --> 01:03:51,800 Speaker 1: And UM, and thank you for saying I'm stunning in 1265 01:03:51,840 --> 01:03:54,080 Speaker 1: all those things. People I keep getting messages of, like 1266 01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,880 Speaker 1: you know, from other comics, being like you're blowing up 1267 01:03:56,960 --> 01:03:59,720 Speaker 1: right now, You're so busy, And the truth is, I've 1268 01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:04,000 Speaker 1: ever been less. I'm busy, but in the best way 1269 01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:06,280 Speaker 1: of like, I'm only saying yes to things that are 1270 01:04:06,400 --> 01:04:08,600 Speaker 1: so fun. I'm doing this podcast that I look forward 1271 01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:13,960 Speaker 1: to every day. I rarely have dread in my life anymore, 1272 01:04:14,040 --> 01:04:16,880 Speaker 1: and that was not the case before COVID. And I'm 1273 01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:20,360 Speaker 1: very very grateful that life has afforded me this life 1274 01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:24,000 Speaker 1: and that it's I'm very lucky. And UM, I love 1275 01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:26,320 Speaker 1: that you said I looked like a mirror ball because 1276 01:04:27,120 --> 01:04:30,920 Speaker 1: I posted a picture of myself in my green outfit 1277 01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:33,320 Speaker 1: from the I Heart Words and which I felt ridiculous 1278 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:34,920 Speaker 1: and because it felt too dressy and felt like I 1279 01:04:34,960 --> 01:04:37,640 Speaker 1: was trying to be something I wasn't. And I wrote 1280 01:04:37,880 --> 01:04:41,400 Speaker 1: I'm a mirrorball because I knew that. And I wrote 1281 01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:44,040 Speaker 1: it all lower case because I knew swift ease know 1282 01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:47,840 Speaker 1: that all lowercase is the waist. It's a fashion egg 1283 01:04:47,840 --> 01:04:50,840 Speaker 1: for UM, Taylor Swift did folklore and it was all 1284 01:04:50,880 --> 01:04:53,840 Speaker 1: in lowercase, like all the song titles in the album 1285 01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:56,480 Speaker 1: and um. But what I wanted to say about those 1286 01:04:56,520 --> 01:04:59,640 Speaker 1: I put I'm a mirrorble. And I knew that I 1287 01:04:59,720 --> 01:05:03,520 Speaker 1: was referencing that because I felt that anyone that saw 1288 01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:05,800 Speaker 1: me in that dress, meaning a couple of people that 1289 01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:07,680 Speaker 1: I think, the girls that I think are going to 1290 01:05:07,720 --> 01:05:08,960 Speaker 1: talk to it about me and be like she thinks 1291 01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:11,680 Speaker 1: she's hot, like you, like she's thirty seven, like what 1292 01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:13,600 Speaker 1: she's trying to do? Stick to comedy. Why do you 1293 01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:15,240 Speaker 1: want to be perceived as hot? And so to a 1294 01:05:15,280 --> 01:05:17,240 Speaker 1: worry to you? In my head, I thought they were 1295 01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:20,200 Speaker 1: going to see it, and I needed some kind of 1296 01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:22,000 Speaker 1: I didn't want to straight it straight out say like 1297 01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,439 Speaker 1: I'm a fraud as the caption, even though it would 1298 01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:26,120 Speaker 1: have been funny, because then it's just people go, no, 1299 01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:27,720 Speaker 1: you're not. And I just didn't want to ask for that. 1300 01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:30,600 Speaker 1: So I wrote I'm a mirrorball because anyone who thinks 1301 01:05:30,640 --> 01:05:32,520 Speaker 1: I'm just like feeling myself goes, oh, she thinks she's 1302 01:05:32,560 --> 01:05:34,640 Speaker 1: a mirrorble and she looks glowy kind of like a mirrorble. 1303 01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:36,800 Speaker 1: But if you look at the Taylor Swift lyrics of 1304 01:05:37,000 --> 01:05:39,800 Speaker 1: I Am Mirror Ball, the song is I Am a 1305 01:05:39,840 --> 01:05:42,560 Speaker 1: mirror Ball, and I thought, maybe someone is like, what 1306 01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:44,000 Speaker 1: does this mean? And we'll look it up, and so 1307 01:05:44,040 --> 01:05:48,720 Speaker 1: I google I Am a mirror Ball, and oh, I 1308 01:05:48,760 --> 01:05:50,520 Speaker 1: Am a mirror comes up, So ball you have to 1309 01:05:50,520 --> 01:05:52,160 Speaker 1: put in. And then if you look at the lyrics, 1310 01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:53,960 Speaker 1: I knew Sift Swifties would get it. Some of them 1311 01:05:54,000 --> 01:05:56,480 Speaker 1: wrote uh to me in the comments and I was like, 1312 01:05:56,480 --> 01:05:58,920 Speaker 1: oh good, they get it. But the song Mirrorball I 1313 01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:01,600 Speaker 1: really relate to because it says, I want you to 1314 01:06:01,640 --> 01:06:03,800 Speaker 1: know I'm a mirrorball. I'll show you every version of 1315 01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:07,040 Speaker 1: yourself tonight. So like, as a celebrity, you try to 1316 01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:10,240 Speaker 1: like make people feel them, like, try to relate to them. 1317 01:06:10,280 --> 01:06:13,480 Speaker 1: So you're just trying to be other people for other people, 1318 01:06:13,520 --> 01:06:16,160 Speaker 1: and you're not really being yourself. And it says, hush, 1319 01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:18,120 Speaker 1: when no one is around, my dear, you'll find me 1320 01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:21,000 Speaker 1: on my tallest tiptoes, spinning in my highest heels, shining 1321 01:06:21,040 --> 01:06:23,640 Speaker 1: just for you. Um. And then at the very end, 1322 01:06:23,680 --> 01:06:28,160 Speaker 1: it says the bridges and they called off the circus, 1323 01:06:28,240 --> 01:06:31,120 Speaker 1: burned the disco down when they sent home the horses 1324 01:06:31,280 --> 01:06:34,360 Speaker 1: and the rodeo clowns. So the circus is gone. It's 1325 01:06:34,360 --> 01:06:36,720 Speaker 1: at night. She goes, I'm still on that tight rope. 1326 01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:41,120 Speaker 1: I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me. 1327 01:06:41,560 --> 01:06:44,400 Speaker 1: I'm still a believer, but I don't know why. I've 1328 01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:47,400 Speaker 1: never been a natural. That's my thing about Beyonce. All 1329 01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:50,480 Speaker 1: I do is try try. I'm still on that trappiece. 1330 01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:54,520 Speaker 1: I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me. 1331 01:06:55,200 --> 01:06:57,120 Speaker 1: And then it says because I'm a mirrorball, I have 1332 01:06:57,320 --> 01:06:59,600 Speaker 1: goose bumps because of these lyrics. I'm a mirrorble. I'll 1333 01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:02,480 Speaker 1: show you, I'll show you every version of yourself tonight. 1334 01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:05,120 Speaker 1: And I just thought that was the perfect lyric to 1335 01:07:05,240 --> 01:07:07,960 Speaker 1: encapsulate how I felt. I looked beautiful like a mirrorball. 1336 01:07:08,240 --> 01:07:11,440 Speaker 1: But really what it's about is trying to be what 1337 01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:14,000 Speaker 1: people want me to be while also trying to feel 1338 01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:17,240 Speaker 1: good myself and having a problem with both of those feelings. 1339 01:07:18,040 --> 01:07:23,640 Speaker 1: Final thought, I mean, I am I ridiculous to feel 1340 01:07:24,800 --> 01:07:27,080 Speaker 1: lyrics this way? I really want to know, like my 1341 01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:30,200 Speaker 1: obsession with Taylor Swift, I'm not trying to be I don't. 1342 01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,320 Speaker 1: I don't think you're ridiculous I think a lot of people, 1343 01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:36,479 Speaker 1: you know, I've heard, I've known lyrics to a song 1344 01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:39,080 Speaker 1: and have no idea what that song means. And you 1345 01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:43,480 Speaker 1: make me want to like understand lyrics more because I 1346 01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:45,080 Speaker 1: think there's a lot of people that can know the 1347 01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:47,920 Speaker 1: words to every song, like a whole song and literally 1348 01:07:47,960 --> 01:07:51,880 Speaker 1: never break it down. And of those people, I when 1349 01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:54,160 Speaker 1: I first listened to Taylor Swift songs, I don't go deep, 1350 01:07:54,760 --> 01:07:57,000 Speaker 1: and then when I have an emotion that I go, 1351 01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:58,760 Speaker 1: wait a second, the song is kind of nailing it. 1352 01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,760 Speaker 1: That's when I go in and I go, oh my god, 1353 01:08:02,520 --> 01:08:04,440 Speaker 1: there was a there was this a prime example. The 1354 01:08:04,480 --> 01:08:07,200 Speaker 1: other day, I was one of my favorite Gaga songs, Noah, 1355 01:08:07,480 --> 01:08:09,400 Speaker 1: who looks like Lady Gaga so much that the other 1356 01:08:09,480 --> 01:08:12,840 Speaker 1: day Andrew and I were watching Gaga on that new 1357 01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:15,600 Speaker 1: Apple show where she talks about her rape, which is 1358 01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:18,720 Speaker 1: fucking terrible and so brave of her, and doesn't name 1359 01:08:18,760 --> 01:08:20,640 Speaker 1: the guy and says, I know that I know that 1360 01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:23,040 Speaker 1: a lot of people think that I should name him 1361 01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:25,560 Speaker 1: and call him out, but I just never want to 1362 01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:28,479 Speaker 1: ever think about him again. And it was like, Oh, 1363 01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:32,320 Speaker 1: that's really, That's a thing I haven't heard yet. Really 1364 01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:34,479 Speaker 1: is a woman that says, I this guy is still 1365 01:08:34,520 --> 01:08:36,320 Speaker 1: out there working and I don't want to do it. 1366 01:08:36,360 --> 01:08:38,040 Speaker 1: I can't do it. I'm sorry. I can only go 1367 01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:40,479 Speaker 1: this far and you can't make me name him and 1368 01:08:40,520 --> 01:08:44,280 Speaker 1: it's it's hard. And I respect her for doing the 1369 01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:48,439 Speaker 1: Naomi uh what's her last name? Okasa Osaka thing and 1370 01:08:48,560 --> 01:08:50,400 Speaker 1: being like, no, I have a boundary and I'm sorry. 1371 01:08:50,400 --> 01:08:52,240 Speaker 1: It's not gonna be beneficial for everyone, but this is 1372 01:08:52,240 --> 01:08:56,519 Speaker 1: where I stand on it. However, Gaga has a song 1373 01:08:56,560 --> 01:09:00,240 Speaker 1: called A Million Pieces or a Million Reasons um than 1374 01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:03,240 Speaker 1: You a million Yeah, as one of my favorite songs 1375 01:09:03,280 --> 01:09:06,240 Speaker 1: to sing. Carlyle and were singing it the other day 1376 01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:07,720 Speaker 1: in the car with Ben Gleeb on the way back 1377 01:09:07,760 --> 01:09:10,640 Speaker 1: because Carlyle, uh, I wanted to pick a song that 1378 01:09:10,760 --> 01:09:13,679 Speaker 1: her and I really like jam out too and uh 1379 01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,519 Speaker 1: and so I put that song on because we've done 1380 01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:19,439 Speaker 1: karaoke to it. It's a great song. Max, boyfriend, who 1381 01:09:19,479 --> 01:09:23,439 Speaker 1: loves slow ballads, hated this song, and I think that 1382 01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:25,160 Speaker 1: was the time I knew we were going to be done, 1383 01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:27,240 Speaker 1: because I was like, I love this song so much 1384 01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:30,120 Speaker 1: and you you perfect? You like actually made a point 1385 01:09:30,120 --> 01:09:31,800 Speaker 1: to be like, you know that new million reasons song 1386 01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:33,200 Speaker 1: and I'm like, yes, I listen to it all the time. 1387 01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:35,080 Speaker 1: He's like, I've never hated a song more. I'm like, 1388 01:09:35,720 --> 01:09:40,599 Speaker 1: we are not gonna make it. It's so good and 1389 01:09:40,640 --> 01:09:41,920 Speaker 1: at the end of it, but this is the best 1390 01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:43,519 Speaker 1: part about that song. I have listened to the song 1391 01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,000 Speaker 1: thousands of times, analyze the lyrics in a million ways, 1392 01:09:46,040 --> 01:09:48,599 Speaker 1: and maybe you have to, but it goes You're given 1393 01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:51,400 Speaker 1: me a million reasons to let you go. You're given 1394 01:09:51,439 --> 01:09:53,760 Speaker 1: me a million reasons to quit the show, which I 1395 01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:55,880 Speaker 1: used to always love because when that song came out, 1396 01:09:56,200 --> 01:09:58,439 Speaker 1: I was doing Not Safe my show and Comming Central 1397 01:09:58,479 --> 01:10:02,759 Speaker 1: with my boyfriend. We start did it together. Comedy Central said, hey, 1398 01:10:02,840 --> 01:10:04,800 Speaker 1: we might cancel it, but we might also just need 1399 01:10:04,840 --> 01:10:07,000 Speaker 1: to restructure the show. What do you want to do? 1400 01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:09,280 Speaker 1: And I didn't want to do the show anymore because 1401 01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:12,559 Speaker 1: my relationship was falling apart, and I didn't want to 1402 01:10:12,560 --> 01:10:14,880 Speaker 1: make a show with a guy that I loved in 1403 01:10:14,880 --> 01:10:17,120 Speaker 1: one of my relationship back. I didn't want our to 1404 01:10:17,200 --> 01:10:20,679 Speaker 1: keep working with him, and so I ended the show. 1405 01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:22,800 Speaker 1: And I used to thing like, you've given me a 1406 01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:25,519 Speaker 1: million reasons to quit the show. You're giving me a 1407 01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:27,439 Speaker 1: million So at the end of it, she's like, I 1408 01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:30,519 Speaker 1: bowed down to pray, try to get through that. But 1409 01:10:30,960 --> 01:10:32,519 Speaker 1: and then at the very end of it, she goes, 1410 01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:37,280 Speaker 1: um uh wait, hold on, let me just pull up 1411 01:10:37,280 --> 01:10:39,000 Speaker 1: the lyrics really quick. No, I'm so sorry. This is 1412 01:10:39,000 --> 01:10:41,760 Speaker 1: like a lyric dump. But this was just one where 1413 01:10:41,760 --> 01:10:43,800 Speaker 1: I go I thought I knew all the lyrics, and 1414 01:10:43,800 --> 01:10:46,400 Speaker 1: then I put together this thing that is so amazing 1415 01:10:46,479 --> 01:10:51,720 Speaker 1: that she did. Um uh, So she goes, all she 1416 01:10:51,840 --> 01:10:54,639 Speaker 1: needs is one good reason to stay. So she's begging 1417 01:10:54,640 --> 01:10:59,840 Speaker 1: this guy. You're giving me a million reasons. Why. Yeah, 1418 01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:01,759 Speaker 1: if I had a highway, I would run for the hills. 1419 01:11:02,000 --> 01:11:04,200 Speaker 1: If you could find a dryway, I'd forever be still. 1420 01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:06,160 Speaker 1: Like if you could get sober, I'd forever be still. 1421 01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:07,760 Speaker 1: But you're giving me a million reasons. Give me a 1422 01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:09,880 Speaker 1: million reasons, giving me a million reasons. About a million 1423 01:11:09,920 --> 01:11:12,040 Speaker 1: reasons I bow down to pray. I try to make 1424 01:11:12,080 --> 01:11:15,200 Speaker 1: the worst seem better. Lord, show me the way to 1425 01:11:15,280 --> 01:11:17,719 Speaker 1: cut through all this war and out leather. I always 1426 01:11:17,720 --> 01:11:20,880 Speaker 1: say pleather because it makes it vegan. Um, I'm just kidding. 1427 01:11:20,920 --> 01:11:24,360 Speaker 1: She goes, I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away. 1428 01:11:24,680 --> 01:11:26,840 Speaker 1: And then it's like the baby, I just need one 1429 01:11:26,920 --> 01:11:29,920 Speaker 1: good one to stay. So she needs one good reason 1430 01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:35,320 Speaker 1: to stay, right, But at the very end she goes, um, 1431 01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:39,360 Speaker 1: I've I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away, 1432 01:11:39,640 --> 01:11:42,639 Speaker 1: but baby, I just need one good one, good one. 1433 01:11:42,840 --> 01:11:46,720 Speaker 1: Tell me that that you'll be the good one, good one. Saying, well, 1434 01:11:46,760 --> 01:11:48,559 Speaker 1: you need a good one. I need a good reason. 1435 01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:50,320 Speaker 1: That she goes, tell me that you'll be the good one, 1436 01:11:50,439 --> 01:11:52,599 Speaker 1: the good one, and then she goes, baby, I just 1437 01:11:52,680 --> 01:11:57,920 Speaker 1: need one good one to stay. And then at the 1438 01:11:57,960 --> 01:11:59,640 Speaker 1: end she said, Babe, I just need one good one 1439 01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:01,840 Speaker 1: to say, She's not talking about reasons anymore. She needs 1440 01:12:01,880 --> 01:12:05,120 Speaker 1: one good guy to stay. And it was like the 1441 01:12:05,160 --> 01:12:08,720 Speaker 1: one went from reason to the guy and then the 1442 01:12:08,880 --> 01:12:11,920 Speaker 1: end being so sad, and she's just like saying to herself, 1443 01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:14,160 Speaker 1: She's like, I just need one. It's not that I 1444 01:12:14,200 --> 01:12:16,400 Speaker 1: need him to give me a good reason to stay 1445 01:12:16,520 --> 01:12:20,280 Speaker 1: that I stay. Really, I just need a guy to stay, 1446 01:12:20,320 --> 01:12:23,000 Speaker 1: and I need to let someone good in instead of 1447 01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:25,200 Speaker 1: trying to change this guy who is giving me a 1448 01:12:25,240 --> 01:12:27,960 Speaker 1: million bad reasons. I don't need him, even though I 1449 01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:30,679 Speaker 1: think I'm begging for him to say the right thing, 1450 01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:33,160 Speaker 1: because how often do we just wait for this person 1451 01:12:33,240 --> 01:12:36,599 Speaker 1: who we know isn't right to just change when really 1452 01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:39,120 Speaker 1: you have to let that one go and be able 1453 01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:42,000 Speaker 1: to let the right one stay. And I just I 1454 01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:44,519 Speaker 1: had epiphany and I go holy ship Carlisle. At the 1455 01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,000 Speaker 1: end of that song is I just need one good 1456 01:12:47,040 --> 01:12:50,360 Speaker 1: one to stay, like a good man. So it has 1457 01:12:50,360 --> 01:12:51,960 Speaker 1: a long way to get to that, but I just 1458 01:12:52,120 --> 01:12:54,400 Speaker 1: those are ways that lyrics jumped out of me. Another 1459 01:12:54,400 --> 01:12:57,040 Speaker 1: one is cardigan. You put me on. You put me 1460 01:12:57,080 --> 01:13:00,639 Speaker 1: on like a cardigan like she's talking about was discarded 1461 01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:02,639 Speaker 1: like a card again, and then at the end he 1462 01:13:02,680 --> 01:13:05,840 Speaker 1: put you put me on and said I was your favorite. 1463 01:13:05,920 --> 01:13:07,240 Speaker 1: She felt like an old card again. But then he 1464 01:13:07,320 --> 01:13:09,000 Speaker 1: put her on and was like, it's my favorite even 1465 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:12,679 Speaker 1: though it's a warring card again. But then Swifties alerted 1466 01:13:12,720 --> 01:13:15,599 Speaker 1: me to the fact that she goes, you put me 1467 01:13:15,720 --> 01:13:18,720 Speaker 1: on and said I was your favorite. You put me 1468 01:13:18,800 --> 01:13:22,240 Speaker 1: on is another way of saying you lied to me. Oh, 1469 01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:24,280 Speaker 1: you put me on and said that you were gonna 1470 01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:26,559 Speaker 1: be here at ten, when it's an old turn of 1471 01:13:26,600 --> 01:13:29,400 Speaker 1: phrase for put me on is a way of saying 1472 01:13:29,479 --> 01:13:33,800 Speaker 1: lied to me. So this guy, she's celebrating that this 1473 01:13:33,840 --> 01:13:36,840 Speaker 1: guy finally came around and loved her. But what But 1474 01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:38,960 Speaker 1: what she's really saying is you put me on and 1475 01:13:39,000 --> 01:13:41,519 Speaker 1: said I was your favorite, because the song is one 1476 01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:44,800 Speaker 1: of the trilogies of the Folklore album in which she's 1477 01:13:44,800 --> 01:13:46,920 Speaker 1: singing from the perspective of the girl who was cheated 1478 01:13:46,960 --> 01:13:52,479 Speaker 1: on by the guy and uh, the guy always comes 1479 01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:55,080 Speaker 1: back to her in the end, and she was like, 1480 01:13:55,160 --> 01:13:57,320 Speaker 1: I knew you'd come back to me, but you put 1481 01:13:57,360 --> 01:14:01,160 Speaker 1: me on. It's just like those double cards, card again. 1482 01:14:01,280 --> 01:14:02,840 Speaker 1: Every time I hear card again, I just think a 1483 01:14:02,920 --> 01:14:05,479 Speaker 1: dumb and dumber. When the cop pulls him, he goes 1484 01:14:05,479 --> 01:14:08,599 Speaker 1: pull over, pull over, and he's like, no, no, it's 1485 01:14:08,600 --> 01:14:13,080 Speaker 1: a card again because he thinks. So every time I 1486 01:14:13,120 --> 01:14:15,360 Speaker 1: hear card, I can't. It's one of those moments in 1487 01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:17,640 Speaker 1: a movie that if you hear that word, because you 1488 01:14:17,680 --> 01:14:19,719 Speaker 1: never hear that, you don't hear card again that much. 1489 01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:23,559 Speaker 1: So it takes me there, which is just someone asked 1490 01:14:23,560 --> 01:14:26,200 Speaker 1: me the other day when I was checking into hotel, 1491 01:14:26,680 --> 01:14:29,040 Speaker 1: it did my car didn't? Can I see your card again? 1492 01:14:29,080 --> 01:14:32,280 Speaker 1: And I go, this is actually a switch. I literally 1493 01:14:32,320 --> 01:14:36,280 Speaker 1: did that. Yeah. I was like, it sounds like you 1494 01:14:36,320 --> 01:14:39,120 Speaker 1: said card again, And they were like, um, do you 1495 01:14:39,120 --> 01:14:40,680 Speaker 1: want to get to a point though, where it's like 1496 01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:43,160 Speaker 1: you could just post yourself in a hot green dress 1497 01:14:43,479 --> 01:14:47,120 Speaker 1: and not even think about those six or seven comics 1498 01:14:47,200 --> 01:14:49,639 Speaker 1: or whatever people that are in your head. No, because 1499 01:14:49,640 --> 01:14:51,320 Speaker 1: I have the bow botom thing of like I need 1500 01:14:51,360 --> 01:14:53,479 Speaker 1: to call out what's really going on here? And it's that, 1501 01:14:54,400 --> 01:14:56,519 Speaker 1: But isn't that? But the point is is you don't 1502 01:14:56,520 --> 01:14:58,160 Speaker 1: need to call it out because calling it out is 1503 01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:00,680 Speaker 1: it's just another way I want people to know that 1504 01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:02,879 Speaker 1: I know, I'm aware, just like the thing of burping. 1505 01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:05,160 Speaker 1: I know. I need you to know that I know. 1506 01:15:05,960 --> 01:15:07,280 Speaker 1: I hope, I don't know. I want to get to 1507 01:15:07,280 --> 01:15:09,080 Speaker 1: a place where I don't even need those people to 1508 01:15:09,120 --> 01:15:11,880 Speaker 1: know that I know because I do know. Yeah, it's 1509 01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:15,920 Speaker 1: it's complicated. Just keep living authentically and just do your best. 1510 01:15:16,120 --> 01:15:19,360 Speaker 1: And that's all a great weekend. I'll miss you, guys, 1511 01:15:19,800 --> 01:15:21,880 Speaker 1: I'll miss doing this. Thank you so much for being 1512 01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:25,240 Speaker 1: here and uh for taking us in. Leave us voice malmos. 1513 01:15:25,280 --> 01:15:28,760 Speaker 1: I love hearing your voices. Uh. Listen to Puddles that's 1514 01:15:28,800 --> 01:15:31,160 Speaker 1: Andrew's podcast. If you want more of us, watch our 1515 01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:34,840 Speaker 1: old videos on YouTube. Um you know, subscribe, rate and review. 1516 01:15:35,080 --> 01:15:39,000 Speaker 1: We we really appreciate anyway you spread the podcast to 1517 01:15:39,040 --> 01:15:41,840 Speaker 1: your friends and tell them about it. Keep using and 1518 01:15:42,240 --> 01:15:44,120 Speaker 1: thank you so much, besties, Thank you Noah for a 1519 01:15:44,120 --> 01:15:48,040 Speaker 1: great week of shows. Birthday Week. I'm doing a birthday year. 1520 01:15:48,120 --> 01:15:51,439 Speaker 1: By the way, Hey, let's do it. It's everyone's birthday year. 1521 01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:53,439 Speaker 1: If if you really think about it, everyone could be like, 1522 01:15:53,439 --> 01:15:56,559 Speaker 1: it's my birthday year. Could we're all coming out of coves? Yeah. 1523 01:15:56,680 --> 01:16:00,400 Speaker 1: And because everyone has one birthday year unless you're early baby, 1524 01:16:01,280 --> 01:16:03,920 Speaker 1: shout out to the lead. Baby's February twenty nine, great day. 1525 01:16:03,960 --> 01:16:06,280 Speaker 1: And you never ate because every four years you turned 1526 01:16:06,360 --> 01:16:09,240 Speaker 1: one year, right, Cat