1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,760 Speaker 1: All right, come on, it's time for this letter. Let 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: your letter subject found the man of my dreams. Good 3 00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:17,760 Speaker 1: morning all, we'll find out. Good morning all. This letter 4 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: is really for Steve the code crack Hollo. Excuse me. 5 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:27,280 Speaker 1: I'm a thirty five year old mother, single mother of 6 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:31,280 Speaker 1: three kids sixteen, fifteen, and eleven. I've been to Force 7 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: for about five years and don't know much about the 8 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: game's men play. I listened to you all the time, 9 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:39,760 Speaker 1: and over the last six months I have really learned 10 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 1: a lot. But I have a situation that I don't 11 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,000 Speaker 1: know how to handle. I've been seeing the man of 12 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,920 Speaker 1: my dreams on and off for the last four years. 13 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: Is everything I have ever dreamed of in a man. 14 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 1: But I have three problems I need your help with. First, 15 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: he is always saying he's not ready to settle down. 16 00:00:57,400 --> 00:01:00,040 Speaker 1: He's always done the go, but want me there and 17 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 1: he returns. He says he enjoys being with me, and 18 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: I am the type of woman he wants to be with. 19 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: Is this game to keep me where he wants me? Second, 20 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 1: I received an anonymous text message saying he has a 21 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 1: child on the way. This makes three I only know 22 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:20,040 Speaker 1: about and have seen one. I forward the text to him, 23 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,880 Speaker 1: and he avoided me for about two weeks. When I 24 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: finally spoke with him, he confirmed that this was true. 25 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: He said that one of his old girlfriends informed him 26 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: that she had his child. I did not ask for details. 27 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 1: The crazy part is he got mad at me. We 28 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:39,679 Speaker 1: argued about me knowing this information. This really threw me 29 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: for a loop. He is mad because I know why. 30 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:47,360 Speaker 1: I really don't understand that. Do men share information depending 31 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:52,760 Speaker 1: on what the person means to them? Did he keep this? 32 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: Did he keep this because I don't really matter and 33 00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:59,280 Speaker 1: had no right to ask him about this. Third, I 34 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: want this man and in my life as my man, 35 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: But after the children's situation, I'm not sure if this 36 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: is what I want to deal with. First, I mean 37 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:11,119 Speaker 1: for the next eighteen years, if I have to deal 38 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:15,399 Speaker 1: with text, not, what will I have to What if 39 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: I have to deal with text not? What will I 40 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: have to deal with once this child is here? Now? Now? Now? 41 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,080 Speaker 1: What will I have to deal with once the child 42 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,400 Speaker 1: is here? Baby mama drama? My kids are almost grown, 43 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,799 Speaker 1: and I don't know if I want to start over. 44 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 1: I want to keep him close to see how this 45 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,720 Speaker 1: situation will work out. So I asked him if he 46 00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:40,799 Speaker 1: could satisfy my sexual needs. If he could, if he 47 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: could just satisfy my sexual needs, thank you, no strings attached. 48 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,920 Speaker 1: He did not like that, but after a while of 49 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,600 Speaker 1: talking he agreed. Is this a mistake on my part? 50 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: Should I just walk away? I know you have a 51 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 1: way of making women feel bad about being stupid, but 52 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: I don't have much knowledge when it comes to men 53 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 1: in their games. What would you tell me if I 54 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:04,959 Speaker 1: was your daughter? Signed found the man of my dreams? Wow? Uh, dear, 55 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,400 Speaker 1: found the man of my dreams. I just want to 56 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 1: know why is this the man of your dreams? You 57 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,520 Speaker 1: didn't give us any information or any clues as to 58 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,480 Speaker 1: why he couldn't be the man of your dreams. You've 59 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: been with him off and on for four years. Why 60 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: hasn't he turned this dream into a reality? Uh? To you? 61 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: He says, he's not ready to settle down, and he's 62 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,679 Speaker 1: got a baby on the way. That right there is 63 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: a nightmare. It's twelve minutes after We'll be back Steve 64 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: Show two. Found the man of my dreams? Here we go. 65 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: Good morning all. This letter is really for Steve Coop 66 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: the cold Cracker. I'm a thirty five year old mother, 67 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: single mother of three six, fifteen, and eleven. I've been 68 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:52,200 Speaker 1: divorced for about five years and don't know much about 69 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,040 Speaker 1: the games me and play. I listened to you all 70 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,119 Speaker 1: the time, and over the last six months I've really 71 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 1: learned a lot. But I have a situation that I 72 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: don't know how to handle. I've been seeing the man 73 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: of my dreams on and off for the last four years. 74 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,640 Speaker 1: He is everything I ever dreamed of in a man. 75 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: But I have three problems and I need your help 76 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,160 Speaker 1: with First, he is always saying that he's not ready 77 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: to settle down. He's always on the goal, but want 78 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,080 Speaker 1: me to be there when he returns. He says he 79 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: enjoys being with me, and I'm the type of woman 80 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,520 Speaker 1: he wants to be with. Is this game to keep 81 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: me where he wants me? Second, I received an anonymous 82 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: text message saying that he has a child on the way. 83 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,479 Speaker 1: Well this makes three, as in children I only know, 84 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,440 Speaker 1: I only know about and have seen one. I afforded 85 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,560 Speaker 1: to text to him, and he avoided me for about 86 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,720 Speaker 1: two weeks. When I finally spoke with him, he confirmed 87 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,560 Speaker 1: that this was true. He said to one of his 88 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: old girlfriends informing him that she had his child. I 89 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 1: did not ask for details the crazy parties. He got 90 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: mad at me, we arguing about me knowing this information. 91 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 1: This really threw me for a loop. He is mad 92 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:06,159 Speaker 1: because I know why. I really understand that. Do me 93 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,560 Speaker 1: and share information depending on what the person means to them? 94 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,719 Speaker 1: And did he keep this because I don't really matter 95 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:16,880 Speaker 1: and had no right to ask him about this. Third, 96 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: I want this man in my life as my man, 97 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: but after the children's situation, I'm not sure if that's 98 00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 1: what I want to deal with for the next eighteen years. 99 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,159 Speaker 1: If I have to deal with the text now, what 100 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,320 Speaker 1: would I have to deal with once the child is here? 101 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,159 Speaker 1: Baby mama drama. My kids are almost grown and I 102 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: don't know if I want to start over. I want 103 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,039 Speaker 1: to keep him close to see the situation, how the 104 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: situation will work out. So I asked him if he 105 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,719 Speaker 1: could just satisfy my sexual needs, no strings attached. He 106 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: did not like that, but after a while of talking, 107 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,839 Speaker 1: he agreed. Is this a mistake on my part? Or 108 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 1: should I just walk away? I know you have a 109 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: way of making women feel bad about being stupid, but 110 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 1: I don't have much knowledge when it comes to me 111 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,200 Speaker 1: and and their games. What would you tell me if 112 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:02,480 Speaker 1: I was your daughter? Signed found the man of my dreams? Okay, 113 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:07,880 Speaker 1: that's fair, that's fair. You want the daughter conversation? Okay, 114 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: I got that, because I have another one for you too. 115 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,279 Speaker 1: But we'll save the jokes. Here's a conversation I would 116 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:19,480 Speaker 1: have if you were my daughter. Now, you say at 117 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,160 Speaker 1: the top of the letter, daughter, you found a man 118 00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: of your dreams. Okay, he's everything I've ever dreamed of. Okay, 119 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: then let me describe this guy to you. That's the 120 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: man of your dreams and everything you've dreamed of. First 121 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,159 Speaker 1: of all, you said that you've been seeing the man 122 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:44,080 Speaker 1: of my dreams on and off for the last four years. 123 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,919 Speaker 1: When you dream of a man in a relationship, Do 124 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 1: you dream of a relationship that's on and off? I'm 125 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,880 Speaker 1: just I'm this is this is my daughter. I'm talking 126 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:59,120 Speaker 1: to correct that's what you said. Okay, cool? Do you 127 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 1: dream when you dream of a man? Is your relationship 128 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,239 Speaker 1: on and off? To be careful what you say, ladies. 129 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: If this is the man of your dreams, but you've 130 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,560 Speaker 1: been in a four year relationship that's been on and off, 131 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: this is what you dreamed of. Did you dream of 132 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: a man who's always saying he's not ready to settle down. 133 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: He's always on the goal, but he wants me there 134 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:29,640 Speaker 1: when he returns. So you just good for him where 135 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: he needs you to be. You're not allowed to be 136 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:39,680 Speaker 1: good to him temporary. See you just listen to me carefully. 137 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,720 Speaker 1: You're not being allowed to be good to him. You 138 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: just being good for him. If you don't have a 139 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,560 Speaker 1: man in your life that positions you so you can 140 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:58,040 Speaker 1: be good to him, but he's positioning you so you 141 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:02,200 Speaker 1: can be good for him. It's a cold trick women 142 00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:06,000 Speaker 1: that we play, and we play on your nurturing side 143 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 1: to make you think that you that we need you. 144 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: So now we're position you so you're always there when 145 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,320 Speaker 1: we say we got to have you, So you're there 146 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: for us, But you're not allowed to be good to us. 147 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 1: Do you see the play on words I'm using. That's 148 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:28,920 Speaker 1: because you're being played by those words I just gave you. 149 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: Is this man that you dream about is a man 150 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: who sleeps around making babies while you dating him? Is 151 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: we're still talking about the man of your dreams. Here 152 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:45,719 Speaker 1: I'm describing to you the letter that you wrote to me, 153 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,560 Speaker 1: I'm talking to my daughter though, m is the man 154 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,680 Speaker 1: of your dreams. A man that is mad at you, 155 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: that don't call you for two weeks because he mad. 156 00:08:58,559 --> 00:09:03,679 Speaker 1: Real men don't get mad and don't call you for 157 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:10,839 Speaker 1: two weeks. That is a female trait. That's a female trait. 158 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,800 Speaker 1: Real men do not get mad at you and don't 159 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:20,920 Speaker 1: call you for two weeks. But you are woman though what? 160 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: I don't know what? Dude just done that? Alright, guys, 161 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: we definitely have to go email us or Instagram. What's 162 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,160 Speaker 1: your thoughts? I know it's crazy. On today's Strawberry Letter, 163 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 1: go to my girl Shirley at my Girl Shirley and 164 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,040 Speaker 1: don't forget like I said this Coming Thursday, Strawberry Letter 165 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:41,680 Speaker 1: live on Facebook right after the show one thirty Eastern time, 166 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: so everybody will have time to join us on Thursday