Speaker 1: I am really excited to talk to my next guest,
Speaker 1: Gabrielle Reeves, who I haven't seen for a while since
Speaker 1: she was modeling and I was a makeup artist, and
Speaker 1: I've been in awe of how she has led her life.
Speaker 1: I have so many questions for her, and I can't
Speaker 1: wait to see her. So stay tuned for my conversation
Speaker 1: with the one and only Gabrielle Reefs. Hey, how are you? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm good. I mean, how many years has it been
Speaker 1: since we have seen each other? I don't know how
Speaker 1: long it's been since we've seen each other. I actually
Speaker 1: remember the first time we worked together, which was either
Speaker 1: eight or eighty nine, and it was a studio down
Speaker 1: in the village off you know that studio that was like, um,
Speaker 1: you'd take an elevator up to like the second or
Speaker 1: third floor, and I almost want to I feel like,
Speaker 1: was it Jill or somebody? But I remember it so clearly,
Speaker 1: just the whole experience. Well, it's so funny. I remember
Speaker 1: working with you, and honestly, I just remember how much
Speaker 1: we connected, like compared to other models I worked with.
Speaker 1: And you know, I don't know why there's not a
Speaker 1: whole lot of similarities, but there was just something real
Speaker 1: about both of us stuck in the middle of this
Speaker 1: fashion industry, and we talked a lot about fitness. We
Speaker 1: talked a lot about stupid things like weight. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm five foot tall, your six three. Great. Okay, So
Speaker 1: we were quite a you know, quite a pair. But
Speaker 1: you know, there was a lot of like girl girl talking,
Speaker 1: a lot of self esteem stuff. And you know, You've
Speaker 1: built your platform on it and I've built mine on it,
Speaker 1: so it's pretty cool. Well, and I remember you talking
Speaker 1: about that you had started to make up business and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that is amazing. And uh, it's
Speaker 1: funny because because that era produced you know, yourself and
Speaker 1: Francois Nors and a few other people. But I remember thinking, wow,
Speaker 1: she she really did it, like because you were sort of,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say not nonchalant, but it was like,
Speaker 1: you know, you didn't make a big thing of it.
Speaker 1: And I'd say from that time to really not so
Speaker 1: many years after that, I was like, oh, no, Bobby
Speaker 1: Brown is kicking some real ass right now. Yeah. So no,
Speaker 1: it was quite a journey my first company, you know,
Speaker 1: I stayed for twenty two years after I sold it.
Speaker 1: So that was a big thing, and I walked away
Speaker 1: and I started another makeup company, which I think I
Speaker 1: sent you Jones Road. Yeah, I actually bought some of
Speaker 1: the products. I saw it, and I was like, because
Speaker 1: I do also appreciate UM. I was working with somebody
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I don't want to botch Terry's last name
Speaker 1: yesterday randomly and you came up. Your name came up.
Speaker 1: We were talking about the makeup movement that's so intense
Speaker 1: right now and has been intense for a really long time,
Speaker 1: and we were I was like, yeah, I was watching
Speaker 1: this video and Bobby Brown's like, okay, so now I'm
Speaker 1: gonna show you how to contour and then You're like, no,
Speaker 1: not you know, and we're talking about UM. And so
Speaker 1: for me, your new your new company, UM, your your
Speaker 1: Jones company. I just uh, I was like, oh, she's staying.
Speaker 1: You know, there's a line that I feel like you're
Speaker 1: holding to support people who, um, I don't want to say,
Speaker 1: are confused, but maybe just doesn't feel like that comfortable
Speaker 1: to get up every day and try to, you know,
Speaker 1: put on that quite of an intense makeup protocol right well,
Speaker 1: you know, for me, it's makeup and beauty are kind
Speaker 1: of intertwined. And really I wear makeup because I want
Speaker 1: to look better, I want to feel better, and I
Speaker 1: get the most women do that to Most women don't
Speaker 1: want to be, you know, out there doing the contour
Speaker 1: and all this stuff. So yeah, that's the Jones Road thing.
Speaker 1: But it's problems similar for you in the fitness world,
Speaker 1: Like you just do this without thinking you're working out,
Speaker 1: Like do you do you like? Is it an effort
Speaker 1: for you or is it just such part of your life.
Speaker 1: I think it's both. I think I think we could
Speaker 1: say that about anything that's you know, think about marriage
Speaker 1: or parenting or what have you. I think it's the
Speaker 1: things that you've come to a piece and a non
Speaker 1: emotional reaction to that. There's a level of difficulty to
Speaker 1: it UM work, but that there's also sort of an
Speaker 1: acceptance to UM two too, that it's important and so
Speaker 1: you you can sort of take the emotions out of it.
Speaker 1: So no, I mean, yes, it is work. It's not
Speaker 1: just like, oh it's fluid and and you're trying to
Speaker 1: change it. You know, you're trying to learn UM without
Speaker 1: hopping all over the place, right, Like I think growing
Speaker 1: in a way that there's still like your consistent thread throughout. Uh.
Speaker 1: That always is the balance, especially with something like fitness
Speaker 1: where there's trends all the time and such. Well, we
Speaker 1: both have pretty long term marriages. I've been married thirty
Speaker 1: three years. And how many years you've been married to laird.
Speaker 1: I've been married to laird for almost twenty five years together,
Speaker 1: thirty three though, that's that's yeah, it is you know,
Speaker 1: And yes it is work. I mean, I you know,
Speaker 1: it's totally work and it's worth it. And you've got
Speaker 1: three girls, yeah, three daughters. Yeah, I got three sons,
Speaker 1: so yeah, so you know, and that's joyful and hard
Speaker 1: and work and all of those things. So any did
Speaker 1: any of your I mean, it's kind of funny because
Speaker 1: you have I thought I would only have sons, and
Speaker 1: you think a woman who was into makeup would have daughters. No,
Speaker 1: but I have daughter in laws, which is a whole Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have two out of the three are married to
Speaker 1: daughter in laws, and one of them is having a baby. So,
Speaker 1: believe it or not, I'm going to be a grandma
Speaker 1: in September, which is crazy. Like I just had my
Speaker 1: third baby who's now going to be twenty four next week.
Speaker 1: But you know, crazy, Thank you. So what advice do
Speaker 1: you have for people to have a long term happy marriage?
Speaker 1: Oh jeez, well, I think you know, the ways that
Speaker 1: it works for everybody is so unique and different. I
Speaker 1: do know that it's sort of the individual's responsibility, for
Speaker 1: the most part, to make yourself happy. I you know,
Speaker 1: I sort of don't think it really is realistic to
Speaker 1: look to our partners, or even our children for that matter,
Speaker 1: to kind of make us happy or fulfill something that
Speaker 1: maybe we need separately from them. I think that there's
Speaker 1: a lot of um, deep meaning and connection when you're
Speaker 1: when you're in a relationship and when you have children.
Speaker 1: But I don't. But there's also a part of us,
Speaker 1: all of us that we it's a it's a something
Speaker 1: we've got to satisfy ourselves. Um. And I think the
Speaker 1: idea of growing each person wanting to do that. I
Speaker 1: I think it would be really hard if Laird was like,
Speaker 1: you know, Gabby, you should read more and open up
Speaker 1: your mind. I think that would be hard. But if
Speaker 1: it if it's sort of like your values are similar enough,
Speaker 1: even though you can be incredibly different. UM. I have
Speaker 1: that in my relationship my husband and I are. From
Speaker 1: the outside, everyone thinks, oh, there's probably they're so similar.
Speaker 1: We're very, very different. But I think our core values
Speaker 1: are are similar, and and you know, maybe giving it
Speaker 1: one real bumpy road to go through and seeing if
Speaker 1: you don't just bail like I had, you know, we
Speaker 1: had I'd say two kind of moments in our marriage
Speaker 1: where could have easily been like all right, that was cool, thanks,
Speaker 1: and just sometimes good going through one and seeing that, oh,
Speaker 1: not only is it possible, because that's that's the other
Speaker 1: thing you've experienced, this where I think maybe couples look
Speaker 1: at each other and they think, today, wow, the love
Speaker 1: is you know, different, but that you can just get
Speaker 1: through it and then the love can return back in
Speaker 1: all the ways, romantically, sexually, in all these ways that
Speaker 1: you thought maybe you couldn't. So I think it's it's
Speaker 1: also kind of weathering that what is lad like? I've
Speaker 1: only seen him, you know, on on interviews, like what
Speaker 1: like how would you describe him? Besides like, I don't
Speaker 1: even know if I'd be able to breathe if I
Speaker 1: saw him in person. He's so gorgeous, So like, what
Speaker 1: is he like? He's like a caged animal? Bobby. He's
Speaker 1: like the most loving and attentive partner. Um, but he is.
Speaker 1: He's never really mellow. He's so intense, like you could
Speaker 1: be talking about how something is built, like a desk,
Speaker 1: like everything. He is so engaged, which at times can
Speaker 1: be Um. You know. It's like as his partner, I'm like,
Speaker 1: we choose, do you want somebody who's apathetic about everything
Speaker 1: or would you rather have someone who's like really curious
Speaker 1: and serious and like you know in there. Um and
Speaker 1: he is has a relationship with nature that makes it
Speaker 1: really hard for him at times, and I feel for him,
Speaker 1: but it's also again connected to all the things, all
Speaker 1: the things I really love about him. Um and he's
Speaker 1: you know, he had a really good mom that he
Speaker 1: admired a lot, and so it's interesting, you know, being
Speaker 1: surrounded by women, he's you know, has this sort of
Speaker 1: one level of I call it true masculinity. I think
Speaker 1: masculinity has gotten a bad rap because I feel like
Speaker 1: true masculinity is so beautiful. It's it's helpful, it's protective,
Speaker 1: it's honorable, it's all these things. It's strong. It's like,
Speaker 1: so Laird has that um and uh yeah, but you
Speaker 1: you know, you can't you have to you you have
Speaker 1: to be a little ninja to be with Laird, Like
Speaker 1: you have to not take anything really too personal. And
Speaker 1: you you're not gonna tell him anything. You're not gonna
Speaker 1: be like, uh, you better do this, or how come
Speaker 1: you didn't do that? Um, it's like your your best self.
Speaker 1: And then Laird's already in an agreement with himself that
Speaker 1: he'll he'll be his best self. But people ask me
Speaker 1: all the time, like, oh, do you let Laird? I'm like,
Speaker 1: Larry's not to be control. Well, it's funny I could say,
Speaker 1: on a different path, the same thing about my husband.
Speaker 1: And I know, for me personally, because I'm a strong woman,
Speaker 1: you know, like you are, But I married someone stronger
Speaker 1: than me, and I know that's the only guy that's
Speaker 1: going to keep me on my toes. It's the agreement
Speaker 1: of without being spoken. I always liken it's like if
Speaker 1: you went to went to school and you had a
Speaker 1: professor that was so cool and treated you really well,
Speaker 1: but you sort of knew that you just weren't going
Speaker 1: to mess with them. And I feel like that's such
Speaker 1: a better way, where with Laird, I am. I know,
Speaker 1: I always say I don't speak to anyone better than
Speaker 1: I speak to Layard, because the silent understanding is like
Speaker 1: he probably wouldn't really accept anything other than that, and
Speaker 1: that isn't with like threats and weirdness. That's just like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'd like to live like that, And I think I
Speaker 1: have my own visions hopefully where it's like let's let's
Speaker 1: try to be up here. Laird calls it the Cold War.
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, we're just doing this all the time,
Speaker 1: you know, but there's a checks and balance, which somehow
Speaker 1: I like myself more when I'm with a person who
Speaker 1: helps me be put you know, I'm in my better
Speaker 1: self right. And you know the line of of wellness products,
Speaker 1: you know is the brand is called Layered right, Yes,
Speaker 1: so we have Layered Superfood and we have a fitness
Speaker 1: brand called XPT. Yeah, because Laird super Food came from
Speaker 1: a habit that Lard was doing in our kitchen and
Speaker 1: then two thousand fifteen became a company by accident. And
Speaker 1: there's so many of those companies out there, but these
Speaker 1: actually taste delicious, like like sometimes I you know, I
Speaker 1: I believe the hype, I buy it, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: this tastes terrible his food taste. Sometimes I just take
Speaker 1: a scoop of the coconut, like that's why my sweet tooth,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, all right, that's done. Layerity eats this.
Speaker 1: Where where am I abs? Come on? Layard? I tried,
Speaker 1: you know, but it's really good. Yeah. Well, we have
Speaker 1: a conversation all the time that Laird is so committed
Speaker 1: to high level ingredients. I am too, but he's sort
Speaker 1: of in one notch up. But I always am the
Speaker 1: voice of reason and I'm the I'm like, listen, you,
Speaker 1: no one will do anything all the time if it's
Speaker 1: if you don't enjoy it. And and on top of it,
Speaker 1: the ceremony of what is people's coffee, it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: the I think the other thing about that was this.
Speaker 1: It's like you saying to people, Hey, if you're gonna
Speaker 1: put makeup on, let's figure out a way that we do.
Speaker 1: It's sort of the best way to support ourselves in
Speaker 1: this way. It's like, if you're already doing this, can
Speaker 1: we give you a better option And you don't have
Speaker 1: to sacrifice anything. You don't have to be longer in
Speaker 1: the gym or you know, somehow eat something or drink something,
Speaker 1: you don't enjoy. So that was the thing. It's like,
Speaker 1: can we replace one habit with another that might make
Speaker 1: it just a little better. And you guys are are
Speaker 1: professional athletes and just life athletes. Are you able to
Speaker 1: relax and what you eat? Like, can you just say
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna eat a sam it today because I
Speaker 1: know you're going to burn it off. Not over a
Speaker 1: long period of time, No, but I certainly will eat
Speaker 1: like if there's a good if we're going to a
Speaker 1: good place and they have good pizza, like, why mess around?
Speaker 1: I think you know. The thing is for me is
Speaker 1: is that if you get to the core of health,
Speaker 1: it's even the way you approach all of it is
Speaker 1: you know, you can't be fanatical about anything right, And
Speaker 1: so I think it's ever you hear a million times
Speaker 1: the eight twenty rule. I think pretty much if you're
Speaker 1: doing the right things percent of the time, that twenty
Speaker 1: isn't gonna work against you. And I live like that
Speaker 1: probably just a little more than layered lady. My nature's
Speaker 1: he's not emotional about food. Food is fuel for him. Me.
Speaker 1: I like, oh, like look toast pizza and things like that.
Speaker 1: And also Gabby like being a professional athlete like you
Speaker 1: were one of the first, you know, people certainly of
Speaker 1: my generation that people knew your name like such an icon.
Speaker 1: How did you deal with that? And how is that
Speaker 1: different than being a supermodel because you were both well
Speaker 1: it was good timing, Bobby, and I don't I don't
Speaker 1: think I was ever fooled into thinking it was anything
Speaker 1: other than that. And so I had the sport which
Speaker 1: grounded me. And I'll tell you really quick story. One
Speaker 1: time I was at Albert Watson's studio. You know Albert,
Speaker 1: and you know, listen, you're a fortunate person if you
Speaker 1: can be in a job with Albert at Albert Watson's
Speaker 1: studio and you know, the lunches and the foods all out.
Speaker 1: And I was working with a very well known girl
Speaker 1: who was extraordinary looking. She You know, sometimes I when
Speaker 1: I would go to work, I would see girls that
Speaker 1: I I they almost seemed not real, Like they're so beautiful,
Speaker 1: You're just like, how is this a real person? Right? Anyway,
Speaker 1: we had lunch. This person didn't have an overabundance of
Speaker 1: self confidence. You could feel it, you know, kind of
Speaker 1: felt like she was limiting what she was eating and
Speaker 1: all this Okay, So The next day, I fly to Tallahassee.
Speaker 1: I go back to school at Florida State. I have practice.
Speaker 1: I go there with my teammates. They're sweaty, their butts
Speaker 1: are probably a little too big, maybe a couple of blemishes,
Speaker 1: and the robustness of their spirit and their confidence was
Speaker 1: was a lot more so. I think being grounded in sports,
Speaker 1: you just looked at it like I get to be
Speaker 1: I'm really fortunate, Like these people are flying me around
Speaker 1: the world and paying me for the way that I look.
Speaker 1: It's not a you know, it's not a qualification or
Speaker 1: a skill. So I'll just say thanks. And with sport,
Speaker 1: it just keeps you really in the earth. So for me,
Speaker 1: it was I never I don't think I didn't. I
Speaker 1: didn't lose the plot, so to speak. Yeah, and you
Speaker 1: were also weren't you the first female athlete to design
Speaker 1: a shoe at Nike? Yeah, I wasn't. And actually they
Speaker 1: gave me a designer named Tinker Hatfield who was responsible
Speaker 1: for all the Jordans, and so you know, I was.
Speaker 1: That was also a setup for success. If you're with
Speaker 1: a designer that you know is making really cool stuff. Um, yeah, listen,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie and you know this because of
Speaker 1: your business, a little bit of good fortune and stuff
Speaker 1: is you know, you could be good. But if you're
Speaker 1: a little earlier, a little late. And I think I
Speaker 1: was hit it right, you know there was it was
Speaker 1: culturally the right time for them. Do you still like
Speaker 1: play volleyball in your spare time? There is no spare time,
Speaker 1: and my brain knows what to do. But if I
Speaker 1: can't practice, my body so I am so not fun
Speaker 1: um when I do that. But I I played until about, um,
Speaker 1: i'd say about five years ago. I played, and I
Speaker 1: used to only play with with men um because they
Speaker 1: sort of you know, get over things quickly. Um, So
Speaker 1: I did that, but mostly it's like training work. And
Speaker 1: I still have a kid at home, so how old
Speaker 1: your your baby? Your youngest one? And yeah, so it's
Speaker 1: just you know, she's the last one. So it's kind
Speaker 1: of like you know how you get put them in
Speaker 1: the launching pad time, so we're sort of have one
Speaker 1: more launch um and these are the critical years um
Speaker 1: and then uh you know, you never know, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I think for me, i'd like to volleyball so much
Speaker 1: as a game. It was so fun, but I'd like
Speaker 1: to play it at a really high level. I think
Speaker 1: I might be too obnoxious to play it like for fun.
Speaker 1: But does does? I mean, I'm not asking your age.
Speaker 1: I'm sixty five, which kind of blows my mind. I've all,
Speaker 1: you know, I am. I'm I'm in my mid sixties,
Speaker 1: and I haven't done a thing to my face. I
Speaker 1: haven't shot anything. I get Can we talk about I'm
Speaker 1: fifty two, so I'm right, I'm might. You know, that's
Speaker 1: such an interesting thing. How do you keep it at bay?
Speaker 1: Do you think it's love? You know? I, first of all,
Speaker 1: I'm genetically lucky. I know that. I know I look
Speaker 1: good for my age. But I've kept a clean life,
Speaker 1: and so you know, I might sometimes, you know, have
Speaker 1: a little extra vodka one night, but I you know,
Speaker 1: I'm just I have a very clean lifestyle and for
Speaker 1: some reason. I mean, look, there's good lighting and there's
Speaker 1: bad lighting. I am now like a TikTok sensation in
Speaker 1: my mid fifties, and there's times where I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that light was so bad. I look a
Speaker 1: hundred and other times I'm like, wow, I look really good.
Speaker 1: But it's not fair to the people that are watching me,
Speaker 1: because I'm just really good at looking at good light,
Speaker 1: right I find I know the good light, but I
Speaker 1: should really post something with bad light so people understand
Speaker 1: it's real. And you know, all I have on my
Speaker 1: face is literally a touch of some of my miracle
Speaker 1: ball I put on my cheeks because my skin is
Speaker 1: actually pretty good. But I don't know. I'm going to
Speaker 1: ask you the same question. And you live in Hawaii.
Speaker 1: I'm out in the Hamptons. So I get sun, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, how do you deal with it? I
Speaker 1: wear long sleeves, you know, and I just try to
Speaker 1: make the best possible feeling like I want to feel
Speaker 1: good in my body. It's not actually how the way
Speaker 1: I look, it's how I feel. So how do you
Speaker 1: deal with this? Well, I think you're saying something really important.
Speaker 1: I think vitality, life force, if you will, is there
Speaker 1: map as there? What's magnetic about someone? Um? And so
Speaker 1: I think, listen, there are days where you know, you
Speaker 1: catch a glimpse in like a rear view mirror of
Speaker 1: a car something you're like, ohoa, when did that? You know?
Speaker 1: Like certain things, Um, I've always protected myself from the sun.
Speaker 1: I grew up in the Caribbean so I've been in
Speaker 1: the sun my whole life, and then beach volleyball. I
Speaker 1: tuned in early about kind of trying to protect my
Speaker 1: skin because a lot of the girls were so uberfit,
Speaker 1: but their skin was getting worked very young. So I've
Speaker 1: been diligent about that. But I'm a big believer that
Speaker 1: you can also take things um, you know, sort of
Speaker 1: orally to maybe reinforce your skin a little bit. So
Speaker 1: obviously being hydrated, I think omega's some pine bark. There's
Speaker 1: some things that go back. What's what's pine bark? Um? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of the scientific name for it,
Speaker 1: but there are supplements that sort of um can give
Speaker 1: your skin a little bit of reinforcement. And they say also,
Speaker 1: you know things that you want to avoid, like when
Speaker 1: you're nursing, like broccoli and things like that, that those
Speaker 1: extracts can give you sort of natural some blocks if
Speaker 1: you orally take um crociferous type things. So I think
Speaker 1: I never, you know, drank, I ate really healthy. I
Speaker 1: moved around a lot um. But to your point, I
Speaker 1: really believe the number one is your your excitement about life.
Speaker 1: So you have things that you even when you have
Speaker 1: your children, you had your own business and your own
Speaker 1: real estate, and and something about having something you're excited
Speaker 1: about that you've got to show up for every day.
Speaker 1: You can love your family to the moon and back,
Speaker 1: and that's great. But I do think there's something so
Speaker 1: powerful for someone, especially a female, to be like, I'm
Speaker 1: something other than young and pretty, because that'll that'll kick
Speaker 1: your ass in such a way. By the time you
Speaker 1: know your forty five, all of a sudden, does that
Speaker 1: mean you're less valuable? It's like, well, no, now you
Speaker 1: have all this experience, Now you have all these you
Speaker 1: know this other stuff to contribute, and so um, I
Speaker 1: find that that to be helpful. But yeah, I try
Speaker 1: to protect my son, but I mean my my skin
Speaker 1: from the sun. But I do pool training, which is
Speaker 1: like you're in the sun. Um, But I'm pretty mindful.
Speaker 1: I I haven't done anything intense to my face. I
Speaker 1: think I've tried botox like two times. I just hated
Speaker 1: it and now it's like, all right, So I have
Speaker 1: lines in my forehead when rested and moisturized, they don't
Speaker 1: look bad at all. Well, that's the thing. People don't
Speaker 1: think that they can impact their beauty from the inside out.
Speaker 1: And then knowing what works for you, like you say,
Speaker 1: with with your skincare, and even how you use makeup,
Speaker 1: Like I look like I get very masculine with very
Speaker 1: heavy makeup. It's not it is not. It's not a
Speaker 1: good look. So I already know less it's going to
Speaker 1: be better for me. Um, and I don't overdo it.
Speaker 1: That's the other thing I think sometimes like oh I
Speaker 1: get a blemmer, you get a line, and then some
Speaker 1: people start packing on more stuff and using more things,
Speaker 1: which I think make it worse, you know, And my
Speaker 1: my big like hint for people when you have those
Speaker 1: days or those periods where you look in the mirror
Speaker 1: and you're like, don't look good. I just tell people
Speaker 1: stop looking, stop looking, go out, go out and exercise,
Speaker 1: Go call a friend, go drink more water, just stop microscoping.
Speaker 1: And we're you know, we're one of seven sometimes, you know,
Speaker 1: like when you get into your head and your own
Speaker 1: trip and you think, then you if you get that
Speaker 1: space like you're saying, go take a walk, you go,
Speaker 1: wait a second, I'm one of seven billion people, Like
Speaker 1: do you think anyone really cares about my skin? It's
Speaker 1: like so that self important trip of that can really
Speaker 1: eat you alive where I heard a great thing. There's
Speaker 1: a beautiful book called Strength to Strength by Arthur C. Brooks,
Speaker 1: and he talks about fluidity um fluid intelligence and crystallize
Speaker 1: intelligence and how if we can learn how to jump
Speaker 1: from one to the next as we age. Um, there's
Speaker 1: some great satisfact. But he talked about redwood trees being like,
Speaker 1: but the roots are only five ft but the only
Speaker 1: way that that happens is that they're connected to all
Speaker 1: the other roots from the other redwoods. So I think
Speaker 1: sometimes getting out of the me all the time except
Speaker 1: for you know, check in, how are you really feeling?
Speaker 1: Do you have to talk to anyone? Do you need
Speaker 1: to correct anything? So you have those check ins. But
Speaker 1: then once you get past that, you're like, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: just a part of all of this stuff going on.
Speaker 1: I think that can be pretty liberating. So what do
Speaker 1: you do when you like, I I deal with anxiety,
Speaker 1: you know, which I think everyone does, And like, who
Speaker 1: do you talk to and what do you do? Well,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you. I you know, I'm a I go
Speaker 1: I'm like have a stoic philosophy like that, you know,
Speaker 1: And of course coming from sports, it's like suck it up,
Speaker 1: you know, put your armor on. Things like that. But
Speaker 1: as in my adult life and as and as a parent,
Speaker 1: what really helped me was I went to a woman
Speaker 1: named Byron Katie. She has a program called The Work,
Speaker 1: and so it's a lot about self inquiry. So it's like,
Speaker 1: as we start the narrative, it's like, here's the tools
Speaker 1: to just don't even fight the hook, right. But if
Speaker 1: it's it's like a deep feeling, I will like sit
Speaker 1: with Laird uh and say, you know, I've been experiencing this,
Speaker 1: and I don't wait too long. I think, I try
Speaker 1: not to hold it in too long, where you just
Speaker 1: put it out there. And then for me that I
Speaker 1: think is the alleviator in doing it quicker, sooner than later,
Speaker 1: so that it isn't so much bigger this thing that
Speaker 1: we make up that's not even usually real most of
Speaker 1: the time anyway. Um, And that's very helpful. But I
Speaker 1: always say to people, Um, when people talk about meditation
Speaker 1: and all these things, I agree with a lot of that.
Speaker 1: But every time you're in a shower or in a
Speaker 1: car by yourself, check inside, what's how's it going? How
Speaker 1: do you feel? Are you frustrated? Are you angry with anyone?
Speaker 1: Do you own anyone an apology? Um? Are you dreaming
Speaker 1: of making a change or doing something? And I think
Speaker 1: if we do that every day, I think it keeps
Speaker 1: some of this other the stuff that worries us and
Speaker 1: creates anxiety. Um at bay. But the work really helped
Speaker 1: me a great deal. UM. There's it has four questions
Speaker 1: like is it true? Can you know it to be
Speaker 1: true for sure? Who were you when you think those thoughts?
Speaker 1: And who would you be without that belief? And then
Speaker 1: you can sort of check in with that and pretty
Speaker 1: much you can unwind it pretty quickly. So what else
Speaker 1: are you working on now? I know you have this podcast?
Speaker 1: Is it a newer podcast? How long has it been happen?
Speaker 1: I'm probably two years in. I have a t shows.
Speaker 1: I used to do another podcast with an author named
Speaker 1: Neil Strauss, so UM I talked to scientists and experts
Speaker 1: and psychologists and UM I just had Stephen Mitchell and
Speaker 1: Rick Rubin who's a music producer on this last podcast,
Speaker 1: and we talked about the dow to Ching because Stephen
Speaker 1: um had done a version of this book. So I
Speaker 1: really enjoy it because maybe, like for you, you experience this.
Speaker 1: It's it's sort of forced learning, UM, and it keeps
Speaker 1: my mind open um because I think that's it can
Speaker 1: be tricky, like, for example, you've had one successful business
Speaker 1: that you've moved into another. I think when you've been
Speaker 1: at all good at anything, that can really bite you
Speaker 1: in the butt if you're not careful because you're like, well,
Speaker 1: I know how to do things. It's like, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: you that worked then. And now we live in a
Speaker 1: new place and it's a new world and people communicate
Speaker 1: differently and you're different. And so I think for me
Speaker 1: that's been a really great thing, um to be learning.
Speaker 1: And also to simplify the information. How do I take
Speaker 1: really complicated things and make this achievable for people, um
Speaker 1: to say, oh, you know what, this sounds like, I
Speaker 1: could do that and use that in my real life.
Speaker 1: I'll try to incorporate that and not make it too
Speaker 1: heavy and too complicated. Okay, No, I you know you're
Speaker 1: the person that I'm gonna call when I'm having like
Speaker 1: an anxious thing because I don't want to go into
Speaker 1: you know, a shrink. I'm really not good at me meditation.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just not. But sometimes you just need like
Speaker 1: you're like a tree, like you're just a solid with
Speaker 1: your roots in the ground. And I think that's a
Speaker 1: really amazing quality that I you probably got from your parents,
Speaker 1: but I think it's, uh, my parents were not really around.
Speaker 1: I think I'm having to figure it out my You know,
Speaker 1: my dad died when I was five, and my mom
Speaker 1: actually took a short hiatus from parenting from two to seven,
Speaker 1: So I think it was actually it was a reaction
Speaker 1: to to that and then having good adults and support.
Speaker 1: There's a great book also, I'll just throw it out
Speaker 1: there called Anxiety are X and it's by Dr Kennedy
Speaker 1: Russell Kennedy, and um, it's a beautiful book, very simple
Speaker 1: and very actionable for people who feel anxiety. Because anxiety, Um,
Speaker 1: it's not a feeling, it's a thought. And so what
Speaker 1: we ruminate, we're that's the death spiral. So how do
Speaker 1: we actually pull it into our body and be like
Speaker 1: And everyone feels a different like you say, some people
Speaker 1: feel their traps. Me personally, I pack everything in my hips,
Speaker 1: like when I armor up, I get tight and here
Speaker 1: other people might feel their soul plexus and then going okay,
Speaker 1: now it's in my body. How do I make myself
Speaker 1: feel calm and good and get it out because when
Speaker 1: it stays in the cranium, Uh, it's not so good.
Speaker 1: All right, I wrote, I wrote that down. You know,
Speaker 1: my mind's in my gut, like we all have it somewhere.
Speaker 1: Mine goes right to my gut. It's it's really powerful,
Speaker 1: and I think it's also when you can be like there,
Speaker 1: it is cool. Cool. So you know, I always want
Speaker 1: to ask people about their like things they love besides
Speaker 1: your family, Like now it's like just stuff. Do you
Speaker 1: have any favorite T shirts? Not that you and I
Speaker 1: will share clothing ideas and they are built so different.
Speaker 1: Any special Have you found the perfect T shirt? And
Speaker 1: have you found any great jeans lately? Okay? You know
Speaker 1: I am. I have a thirty six seven inch in teams,
Speaker 1: so it's a nightmare. So I wear jeans. There's a
Speaker 1: company called mid Heaven that does very long jeans. Frame
Speaker 1: actually has a Carly Class model. I don't know if
Speaker 1: they still make it. It was very long. Um. I
Speaker 1: wear a lot of velvet T shirts. I can't kill
Speaker 1: them if I tried. They don't kill um. And they're
Speaker 1: long enough in the torso for me. But they're not boxy,
Speaker 1: and uh and and any shoe that will fit me
Speaker 1: is my favorite exactly twelve. Well, oh my god, eleven
Speaker 1: when I was modeling, and then after volleyball and kids
Speaker 1: and stuff, I went to twelve. But could you imagine
Speaker 1: when I was in fashion, I was like, it was
Speaker 1: like the biggest nightmare. I would show up and they'd
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, I don't nothing's gonna fit you, you you know,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah. I mean next time I complained
Speaker 1: because I have to take a scissors and cut everything
Speaker 1: I bring into the house. And I've been wearing like
Speaker 1: a little boy's size you know, four T shirt because
Speaker 1: it fits my shoulders. And I'm like, anyway, so we
Speaker 1: all we all have, you know, the stuff to deal with.
Speaker 1: And I think that's the important point, is that when
Speaker 1: we can be like, hey, what's weird about me? Is
Speaker 1: what's special and cool about me? And yeah, okay, so
Speaker 1: you gotta do a little extra work. I'm trying to
Speaker 1: find pants long enough or you know, take the hem
Speaker 1: off on something if you're shorter. Um, I don't. We're
Speaker 1: not that unique in the way that everybody has something. Well,
Speaker 1: your next book I think should be titled It's all okay. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it's because that's what's coming out of your mouth. Everything's fine,
Speaker 1: it's all okay. Well, Bobby, I'm gonna I'll share something
Speaker 1: with you because I am very intense. And you know
Speaker 1: there's a I read this book, uh that was said.
Speaker 1: You know, women biologically are more prone to negative emotion,
Speaker 1: which means like worry and stuff like that makes sense right,
Speaker 1: based on nature and biology. And my favorite thing that
Speaker 1: my husband says to me because he can see when
Speaker 1: I'm wound up, like the jawn might flex and the
Speaker 1: eyes get, you know, like this, he goes, listen, It's
Speaker 1: all gonna be okay, and then he looks at me
Speaker 1: and he goes and it is okay. Yeah, my, That's
Speaker 1: why I'm with my husband. But I will have a
Speaker 1: cocktail at night to kind of make it okay. You
Speaker 1: don't have that. Do you like smoke weed? Do you
Speaker 1: do anything gummy out of m okay? So what I
Speaker 1: do you ever feel like your head sets up like
Speaker 1: concrete Sometimes when you're dealing with too many details work
Speaker 1: and you start getting like almost fixed, you can feel
Speaker 1: like I call it hardhead. So I was micro dosing.
Speaker 1: I did micro dose it doesn't get you stony. Okay,
Speaker 1: So after I've read Michael Palm's book and a couple
Speaker 1: other things, because I'm a square, I was like, you
Speaker 1: know what I can I'm open to this. So I
Speaker 1: did implement some micro dosing, which helps. It did help,
Speaker 1: and you're not like, oh the colors. It's just like
Speaker 1: something happens where you get into homeostasis that I felt
Speaker 1: was helpful. I could recall better. So I did that.
Speaker 1: Um and then um, there have been stop wait why
Speaker 1: did you stop? No? No, you just kind of bring
Speaker 1: it in and out. You know, it's like three days
Speaker 1: a week and then maybe take a break and then
Speaker 1: you know, like maybe you start few on in the
Speaker 1: heart the helmet come again. So then I'd like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe I'll implement that a little um and
Speaker 1: I and listen. I started doing that my fifties and
Speaker 1: then um uh and then I have used edibles for
Speaker 1: sleep for sure. Yeah. I I cannot do THHC. If
Speaker 1: I have even one percent, my mind goes crazy. So
Speaker 1: you know, my chiropractor said, some people's chemistry isn't good
Speaker 1: for that, and they're better with vodka. Other people's chemistry
Speaker 1: is not good for alcohol. Yeah, tequila or vodka either one.
Speaker 1: Tequila makes me dance and and makes me like have fun,
Speaker 1: and vodka calms me down. My families are you know,
Speaker 1: we're Russian Jews, So maybe vodka in the d N
Speaker 1: A kill is the only nondepressant um. All right, yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah for sure. So where do you get micro dosing?
Speaker 1: Don't you have to go to someone because I don't
Speaker 1: think in New York and New Jersey it's like readily available.
Speaker 1: But now, I mean yes, and I have friends and
Speaker 1: you want to do it intelligently and safe. But there
Speaker 1: are places now, especially with it being legal in Oregon,
Speaker 1: um that you can get it and it's measured out
Speaker 1: and there's sort of a clinical aspect to its. All
Speaker 1: of a sudden you don't have some weird thing happened.
Speaker 1: But I would say with now, with online wink wink, uh,
Speaker 1: you can probably get some really good stuff that is
Speaker 1: highly measured and really professionally done. Yeah. Well, I'm going
Speaker 1: to have to text you later and and and fin
Speaker 1: and find your sources. Yeah no, seriously, I I mean,
Speaker 1: you know again, I feel comfortable talking about that because
Speaker 1: I am such a square um and uh, it just
Speaker 1: it was something that was very very positive. But after
Speaker 1: I did research and checked out, then I was like, oh, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: to let go a little and I and I'm the
Speaker 1: person that will jump in and try anything and if
Speaker 1: it works, it works, and if it doesn't, I'm like,
Speaker 1: all right, it didn't work, So I am open. But
Speaker 1: but this podcast is called The Important Thing. So you know,
Speaker 1: the last and final question I ask everyone what people
Speaker 1: listening now, if they listen to this whole podcast us,
Speaker 1: which I know they're going to because people love you,
Speaker 1: what is the one piece of advice you have for
Speaker 1: anyone listening? According to Gabby Rays, that is the important
Speaker 1: thing and will change their life. Well, I think that
Speaker 1: the idea of taking care of yourself. And I don't
Speaker 1: mean being a professional athlete and having six pack abs.
Speaker 1: I mean really taking care of yourself, eating well enough,
Speaker 1: moving often enough. But also that the sharp end of
Speaker 1: the stick on that is your emotionality. Because you can eat,
Speaker 1: I'm gluten free and you know all this other bs
Speaker 1: and I monitor my order ring, my heart variability. It's
Speaker 1: you have to start first with how can you get
Speaker 1: to yourself to a place a perspective where then you
Speaker 1: can manage it all. I think it's in reverse. If
Speaker 1: we think, oh, I'm as sized too, and I make
Speaker 1: this much money, It's like, that isn't for me when
Speaker 1: I think about health. But I will say that it is.
Speaker 1: The has been the ultimate tool for me to get
Speaker 1: that distance from my feeling to my reaction so that
Speaker 1: I can navigate everything or try try. And I know
Speaker 1: I said that was the last question, but I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm wearing an or ring, I'm monitor my glucose once
Speaker 1: I get six pack abs, Like, like, I don't get it.
Speaker 1: I'm doing everything. I'm gluten free, you know, I I'm
Speaker 1: I'm I dance around gluten, but I'm pretty much gluten free.
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, what else could someone do to
Speaker 1: cut the last stuff? Or when you're sixty five years
Speaker 1: old and you do drink, do I just get a
Speaker 1: hell with it? So I've never had six pack abs.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get them now. Well, okay, so
Speaker 1: if you didn't have them at seventeen, genetically, maybe you
Speaker 1: don't have them. So the other thing is that's not
Speaker 1: the symbol of great health and vitality and longevity. I
Speaker 1: don't know where that came in. Now. If we don't
Speaker 1: have a lot of excess weight around the mid better
Speaker 1: six pack ABS has nothing to do with it having
Speaker 1: less weight around the organs. Good ripped here nor there. Um.
Speaker 1: So if you feel good, if you can get up
Speaker 1: and down off the floor by yourself, if you can
Speaker 1: get up and down off the toilet by yourself, if
Speaker 1: your grip strength is pretty good, if you've got some flexibility,
Speaker 1: something falls, you can pick it up. Um, if you're sleeping,
Speaker 1: well it's like you know, it's working out. But I
Speaker 1: think we use these things that got set as gauges
Speaker 1: for health. Um, and some of it is is not
Speaker 1: really is not an equation to to great health. Well
Speaker 1: you are. You are a wonderful teacher. And I am
Speaker 1: so happy to see you again and I'm so happy
Speaker 1: to have you on this podcast and I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: following you wherever i can because I want to learn
Speaker 1: more you really. I want to say one thing that
Speaker 1: people can do right now, free anywhere, and um it
Speaker 1: is you hear everyone talking about breath James Nestor's book,
Speaker 1: there's a book called the Oxygen Advantage. Excellent if people
Speaker 1: unless they're sprinting on a track, Um, everyone should be
Speaker 1: only breathing in and up through their nose. If I
Speaker 1: could say one thing to people and also see this
Speaker 1: breath that's called a vertical breath. You want to have
Speaker 1: a horizontal, round, circular breath that goes down first into
Speaker 1: the belly. Three parts breath, so belly sort of think
Speaker 1: of the upper ribs and then the lats. So it's
Speaker 1: deep and slow. So that means you do three to
Speaker 1: four inhales and exhales per minute. Most of us are breathing,
Speaker 1: especially for mouth breathing, twelve to fifteen breasts per minute.
Speaker 1: What happens is we're breathing quicker and shallower. We're in
Speaker 1: our chest, we're in our sympathetic are rebbed up or
Speaker 1: anxious side. If we can slow that breath down, get
Speaker 1: it into the nose, we slow ourselves down. We're more relaxed.
Speaker 1: And also then your CEO two rises and the oxygen
Speaker 1: that's in your blood has the opportunity to get absorbed
Speaker 1: into the cells and tissues, so better for your health.
Speaker 1: And if people have small children, make sure they're sleeping
Speaker 1: with their mouth closed because the teeth and the way
Speaker 1: the jaw developed and then the hun can go to
Speaker 1: the roof of the mouth for little kids, better for
Speaker 1: their dental health, and for everything else. So if you
Speaker 1: want to talk about the ultimate easy thing, yeah, breathing.
Speaker 1: So my two takeaways are breathing, I'm never getting six
Speaker 1: pack ads, and I'm gonna try microghosting. That's my takeaway.
Speaker 1: There you go, Bangu, Well, thank you so nice to
Speaker 1: see you. Let me know if you're ever in our
Speaker 1: in our coast, I will hello haa, hello, haa, bye bye.
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Follow us on social at The Important
Speaker 1: Things podcast on Instagram, and just Bobby Brown on TikTok.
Speaker 1: See you guys next time.