1 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 1: Carrie Champion, my boover. 2 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,280 Speaker 2: Oh no, you're my boo. I had a question you first, 3 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 2: but that's okay. We won't get into that if we 4 00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 2: won't tell Sophia she understands. 5 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,040 Speaker 1: Welcome to wide open. Thank you, so happy to have you. 6 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 2: Thank you for having me. Let me say this, I 7 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:31,240 Speaker 2: am very proud of you because you're so open and honest, 8 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 2: and I am encouraged every time I see you. I'm 9 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:36,000 Speaker 2: all like, she's just herself and no matter how uncomfortable 10 00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:39,680 Speaker 2: it is, she's just herself. So cheers, cheers, a thank you, 11 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 2: thanks for being here, of course. 12 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:44,040 Speaker 1: And yes, we asked for wine and we made everyone 13 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,319 Speaker 1: go run down, and because it's necessary, because this is 14 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: this is my show, and I can do what I want. 15 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,479 Speaker 2: You can do what you want, and it's needed and 16 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 2: necessary and who cares if you're doing. 17 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: Yes, it is so necessary. And it's five o'clock somewhere somewhere, 18 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:02,319 Speaker 1: not here, but somewhere. I'm okay with all of that. 19 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: More wine, please, I tell you what this is what 20 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 1: I'll start. I'll start the show off. The second I 21 00:01:07,720 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: met you, I felt so safe with you. I did. 22 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: I felt so safe with you, and I felt such 23 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: a real connection, like on a like serious, serious level. 24 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:22,680 Speaker 1: And I am so happy that our friendship now is 25 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 1: just like blooming. I want to spend time with you. 26 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: I just invited you to friends giving. You are onto. 27 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:37,320 Speaker 2: I can't kids around, we getting hit, were dressing up, 28 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 2: We're doing all of that. Well, I think the feeling 29 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 2: is mutual. Okay, So I've always obviously known you, and 30 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 2: then you came up my Amazon show and I was 31 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 2: just like, she's just so pretty, which you get all 32 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 2: the time, right, you get that often. And it sounds 33 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 2: very vague what I'm about to say, but there is 34 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 2: something about someone who has a pleasant face to look at. 35 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 2: This is what society is. It's just how it is. 36 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 2: But it's not just that. It's your heart. And I 37 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 2: think what we don't see a lot of nowadays, especially 38 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 2: in our business, is authenticity. I'm at the space where, yes, 39 00:02:08,080 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 2: if you, I'm not trying to be your friend just 40 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,560 Speaker 2: to be like performing for Instagram or I don't need 41 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,400 Speaker 2: all that. I know enough famous people. I can hang 42 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,200 Speaker 2: around all the famous people if I wanted to, and 43 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:23,120 Speaker 2: post the photos and show. But you, above all of 44 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:25,200 Speaker 2: all the women we work because we went to can 45 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:29,640 Speaker 2: together be sure to you. To me felt the most 46 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 2: at home and grounded and honest. And I think, especially 47 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 2: for black women, it's hard for us to be vulnerable, 48 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 2: and you're very vulnerable, and it's hard for me to 49 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:38,519 Speaker 2: do that. 50 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:41,800 Speaker 1: I really find that seeing people is probably one of 51 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: my greatest gifts. Really, I do, because I think you 52 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,960 Speaker 1: have no idea what someone's walking through, and if you 53 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: just make eye contact, if you just stay present in 54 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 1: a moment, it could be five seconds, five minutes, five hours. Yeah, 55 00:02:57,639 --> 00:02:59,880 Speaker 1: you have no idea the impact you can make on 56 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: someone's life. 57 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 2: I felt that from you, and that's also uncomfortable for 58 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 2: someone who like when I sometimes when I go into spaces, 59 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 2: I'm very guarded only because this business as yeah, and 60 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,000 Speaker 2: the world has you know what I mean. Business in 61 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,440 Speaker 2: the world stops you from feeling safe, I think. 62 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: And you know, it's interesting about that because like we've 63 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 1: been through some shit, yeah right, So it's such a 64 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 1: testament to who we are and how we lead that 65 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:32,239 Speaker 1: we still choose to be kind because I do think 66 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,040 Speaker 1: kindness is currency. And I say that to my three 67 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,720 Speaker 1: year old. We have three rules. It's the rules are 68 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:42,240 Speaker 1: the rules. Sharing is caring, and kindness is currency, and 69 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,000 Speaker 1: I think it's a beautiful gift to be able to 70 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 1: lead your life that way, even when so much trauma 71 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,800 Speaker 1: and so much shit has happened that could completely damage 72 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: you and make you different. 73 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 2: One one of my you are so right, one of 74 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 2: my really good friends said to me, you still are 75 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 2: soft even though everything in the world has told you 76 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,720 Speaker 2: that you can be tough, and you can be hard, 77 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 2: and you can close that you can close them off, 78 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 2: but you're still soft and open when the world says 79 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 2: to you, why should you be? So that is a gift, 80 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,720 Speaker 2: that is a superpower that you have. And I and 81 00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 2: and and it's also why people are drawn to you. 82 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 1: I appreciate that. Yeah, but let's let's get to you. 83 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 2: Okay. 84 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm going to read a few things here. Carrie is 85 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: a broadcast journalist, sports anchor, and television personality and an 86 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:36,320 Speaker 1: incredible human. You are absolutely stunning like you are. It's like, girl, 87 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: I don't know why you're on TV modeling. Okay, So 88 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: true story. 89 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 2: When people give me compliments about what I look like, 90 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:45,159 Speaker 2: I get a little uncomfortable because it feels odd to me. 91 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,400 Speaker 2: I grew up with a mom who always would tell 92 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,600 Speaker 2: me how smart I was, and she did not necessarily 93 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 2: tell me I wasn't pretty, but it was always about 94 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,760 Speaker 2: you're so smart, you can do all the things you want. 95 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,880 Speaker 2: You can change the world. And when people say that 96 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 2: to me, I'm all like, oh, think I feel it, 97 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 2: but I don't, you know, I get I get it. 98 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 2: I get it a lot of y'all, and so I'm like, Okay, 99 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:06,039 Speaker 2: I guess I'm cute that you know, but I thank 100 00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,320 Speaker 2: you for that. It's so uncomfortable. That's okay. Are you 101 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 2: uncomfortable compliments? No, I I tell you what. 102 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: I'm in the era of receiving. Okay, So when someone 103 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: says something nice, this is I'm going to help you here. 104 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 1: When someone says something nice it makes you feel uncomfortable, 105 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 1: which were women. It happens all the time. I just say, yeah, 106 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 1: I'm receiving that. Thank you, okay, even when it's hard, 107 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: I receive it. 108 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 2: I receive it. 109 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: I receive it. 110 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:33,080 Speaker 2: I receive it. 111 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,080 Speaker 1: Thank you, honey. 112 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 2: Thank you. 113 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,599 Speaker 1: So for nearly a decade, you were an anchor and 114 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: hosts on ESPN, and you've been a long advocate for 115 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:45,720 Speaker 1: women of color and media, which I definitely want to 116 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:49,600 Speaker 1: get to, specially raising a black daughter. You have your 117 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:54,719 Speaker 1: podcast now. I was on your show on Amazon. It 118 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: was the Carry Champion Show, which was so much fun. 119 00:05:57,400 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 1: I feel like that was when even through the camera, 120 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, I love you. Sound like I've 121 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: known her in a different life. 122 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,799 Speaker 2: Same, same, same. 123 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: You're an absolute star. 124 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 2: Thank you, and I'm so happy for you to be. 125 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:10,919 Speaker 1: I receive that. So I'm so happy for you to 126 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:11,599 Speaker 1: be on this show. 127 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 2: I'm happy for you to have this show. 128 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,000 Speaker 1: So tell me. I want to know about this because 129 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: you're always the one interviewing people. 130 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,839 Speaker 2: Oh and you know why I do that. I like 131 00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:23,640 Speaker 2: to talk to people because I hate to tell my story. 132 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 2: For a very long time, I was always embarrassed. I 133 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 2: have the hardest time in relationships being completely naked. I 134 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:35,080 Speaker 2: have the hardest time and friendships that I haven't had 135 00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:37,120 Speaker 2: over for a long period of time and being naked. 136 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,600 Speaker 2: And what I naked is is showing up. I grew up. 137 00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 2: You know, it's and it's interesting, and I don't know 138 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,200 Speaker 2: everyone's story, but like you know, you go through therapy, 139 00:06:47,279 --> 00:06:49,600 Speaker 2: and I'm a big advocate of therapy, and you start 140 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 2: realizing who you are and why you're built that way. 141 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 2: So asking questions is just one, I'm naturally curious, but 142 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 2: two it helps me avoid talking about me. And I'm 143 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 2: right now as we're doing this interview, I'm like Carrie, 144 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,799 Speaker 2: don't ask her a question, be quiet, And I'm telling 145 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:09,679 Speaker 2: myself that so I won't have to avoid it growing 146 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 2: up as a And I'm not speaking for all black women, 147 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 2: but I am speaking for many of us. Vulnerability is 148 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 2: often considered weakness because, you know, survival of the fittest. 149 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 2: You know, sometimes we don't have partners. Our parents didn't have. 150 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 2: My mom didn't. She raised me by herself. My dad 151 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,680 Speaker 2: wasn't around. You hear this story, You hear this story. 152 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 2: So the way you're raised And my friend said this 153 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 2: the other day, your mom raised you to be the 154 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 2: man that you should need. Literally wow, like literally without 155 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 2: even without even thinking about it, Like she raised me 156 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 2: to be the man that I would need. And she 157 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 2: wasn't thinking, oh, that's too alpha, or you're gonna turn 158 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 2: men off, or you're gonna turn someone off of that. 159 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 2: She just wanted me to take care of myself because 160 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 2: life had shown her that if you do not take 161 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 2: care of yourself, who else will. And I think I 162 00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:06,640 Speaker 2: have spent a lot of my adult life, trying to 163 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 2: undo the alpha of me because not in a bad way, 164 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 2: but because being vulnerable is also powerful. Telling your truth, 165 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:18,880 Speaker 2: showing your scars is also powerful. Taking all the what 166 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 2: did Brene Brown say wants? She said, once you, once 167 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 2: you reveal your secrets, you take all the power away, 168 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 2: You take all the shame away. We should bring shame back, 169 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 2: by the way, Yes, we should be shaming people left 170 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 2: and right. We don't do that anymore. People need to 171 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 2: be shamed, especially after I know what, So I just try. 172 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 2: It's just hard, you know. It really is a tough 173 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,840 Speaker 2: thing to be my myself and I and I and 174 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,280 Speaker 2: I've battled with that in terms of allowing myself to 175 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 2: be shown to people, and I've battled with that. But 176 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 2: when I feel safe, you're getting it all, whether you 177 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,960 Speaker 2: want it or not, you're getting it all, whether which is. 178 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: What you're getting, whether you want When we were in 179 00:08:56,760 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: Can together at the Women's Sports House, we had so 180 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,640 Speaker 1: many good conversations and we were in such an interesting 181 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,520 Speaker 1: place in our life. But before I get to that, 182 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: I have one question, and I like to start every 183 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:11,480 Speaker 1: single show off with, oh, which is? And it's so 184 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:14,800 Speaker 1: important you were because you were really getting into it, 185 00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:17,199 Speaker 1: and before you go all the way, I really want 186 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,800 Speaker 1: to ask you this question. I find that in life 187 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 1: there's always one moment that split you wide open. Yeah, 188 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 1: that changes you forever. What was that moment for you? Ooh? 189 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 2: I had a series of several things happened to me 190 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:39,920 Speaker 2: when I was seven years old. I was in second grade, 191 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 2: and I had always felt like I was different and 192 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,280 Speaker 2: set apart. I just always felt that I just grew 193 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,520 Speaker 2: up and I felt different from my family, from my cousins, 194 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 2: from everyone around me. I felt different. But when I 195 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 2: was seven years old, my mother took me out of 196 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 2: my local elementary school, which was in West la and 197 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 2: she busted me to school in the valley. You know, 198 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 2: you very familiar with California, so she bussed me to 199 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:05,320 Speaker 2: a school in Northridge. And that meant my whole schedule 200 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 2: would change. So instead of being at school at you know, 201 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 2: nine am in the morning, I would have to get 202 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,840 Speaker 2: up at six and take a bus at seven to 203 00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 2: get to school just before nine o'clock. I had a 204 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 2: full work day at seven years old, and then by 205 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 2: the time I got home, I was home at four 206 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 2: or five o'clock. Literally, from the time I was seven 207 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:26,160 Speaker 2: years old up until I got to high school and 208 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:29,760 Speaker 2: I went to this school I was. It was it 209 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 2: was a bussing program that they had in LA and 210 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,560 Speaker 2: I remember they had me in classes for kids who 211 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 2: weren't that smart and I was, and they had me 212 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:39,679 Speaker 2: reading at a level that was way underneath my level. 213 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,559 Speaker 2: But thank goodness, there was a teacher who said, no, 214 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 2: I think this. I think you're too smart for that. 215 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 2: And she made sure that just because I came from 216 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:51,480 Speaker 2: the black school, that I was treated fairly and to me, 217 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 2: in that moment, the power of belief happened, and it 218 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 2: was it was validating for me in a lot of ways. 219 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 2: Although I didn't know it, but this woman believed in me. 220 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,920 Speaker 2: She didn't even know me. But there was a reputation 221 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:09,679 Speaker 2: of all these kids coming from LA and they're not 222 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,560 Speaker 2: that smart, and we got to start them off here, 223 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,559 Speaker 2: and she was like, oh, no, you're really smart. Let 224 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 2: me move you to gifted. I went from remedio to 225 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 2: gifted classes in like two weeks because she saw my 226 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,640 Speaker 2: potential and how smart I was and how I was 227 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:26,480 Speaker 2: out performing other kids. And so that belief in me 228 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 2: at seven years old changed everything. But all the while 229 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 2: when I would leave this beautiful school, I would go 230 00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 2: back home, and we didn't necessarily live in the hood, 231 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 2: but it wasn't a great neighborhood. And I remember coming 232 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,480 Speaker 2: home from school on the bus and opening up the 233 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:47,199 Speaker 2: door and the apartment had been robbed. And I was 234 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 2: a last kiy kid. I had a key around my 235 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 2: neck and I undid the door, and I remember I 236 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,560 Speaker 2: would have to call my mom. And I called my 237 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 2: mom and I said, hey, Mom, did you come home, 238 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 2: because like the TVs pushed towards the door, and I 239 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 2: think the glass is broken. Seven years old, I don't know. 240 00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:04,160 Speaker 2: And my mother literally was like, oh, we've been robbed. 241 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,880 Speaker 2: You get out of the house right now. So I 242 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 2: hoog up the phone and left. Seven years old. Could 243 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:12,600 Speaker 2: you imagine like a full grown adult, you couldn't. You 244 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:15,200 Speaker 2: could even tell that story today without somebody being like, Okay, 245 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,680 Speaker 2: where's child Services? And so I walked to my grandmother's 246 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 2: house and waited there. But there were two things that 247 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 2: life told me. One, always believe in yourself. But two, 248 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:31,840 Speaker 2: you are in a world where you're going to have 249 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 2: to find for yourself no matter what My mother intended, 250 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,280 Speaker 2: because she did her best, her very best. But she mean, 251 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:42,839 Speaker 2: she was twenty and she and she hates to hear 252 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,559 Speaker 2: stories of me talking about when I was seven years 253 00:12:44,559 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 2: old and I used to come home by myself and 254 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,240 Speaker 2: walk to the bus stop by my say, she hates 255 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,880 Speaker 2: those stories, and I understand why. But it's a part 256 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,839 Speaker 2: of my truth and I had to find for myself 257 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 2: at seven years old. So those were the moments that 258 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 2: really make me. Those two moments really made me and 259 00:12:58,840 --> 00:12:59,880 Speaker 2: define who I am today. 260 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:06,280 Speaker 1: You and I have very similar upbringings. I had two 261 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:09,840 Speaker 1: parents same you know, both were in the house, hated 262 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:15,120 Speaker 1: each other, lived totally different lives. You know, my mom 263 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 1: struggled with extreme mental health issues. We didn't have the 264 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 1: resources or the money to get those sorted. Add on addiction, drugs, alcohol. 265 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 1: I mean, the whole house was absolutely chaotic and wild 266 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 1: and yeah, just you know, I would, you know, knock 267 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 1: on people's doors. I had a nan across the street 268 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: and I'd be like, I'm hungry, you know, Like we 269 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: were raised in a different time where you know, we 270 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,439 Speaker 1: were out on you know, hanging on the streets. We 271 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: had bike crews, skateboarding crews. We were playing like hide 272 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:56,200 Speaker 1: and go seek all hours of them like it was 273 00:13:56,360 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: just different. It was a different time, honestly, but it 274 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: was a hard time hard. And what I'll say is 275 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,199 Speaker 1: until I became a parent is the second I forgave 276 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:11,160 Speaker 1: my parents. Yeah. Why because it's the hardest thing I've 277 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,680 Speaker 1: ever done, and I have access to things that they 278 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 1: could only dream of. 279 00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 2: Powerful. Wow. 280 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,080 Speaker 1: And now my relationship with my parents is it's literally 281 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 1: the best it's ever been. Because I resented them. It 282 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 1: was the reason I am who I am is out 283 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: of spite and shame and I wanted a better life 284 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:39,200 Speaker 1: for myself and my kids. And I was so fucking competitive. Man, 285 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 1: I was so competitive and people thought I was nuts. 286 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,640 Speaker 1: But the reason I was so competitive is because I 287 00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:47,680 Speaker 1: just didn't want to go home. 288 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:48,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 289 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 1: I didn't want to go home back to that life. 290 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 1: I didn't want to go home to hearing my mom 291 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 1: cry and the pain and struggle of There's one memory, 292 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 1: and I really haven't shared this. I remember we were 293 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 1: on food stamps at one point and I was in 294 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: the publics like you know, check out line, and at 295 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: the time, there was something she wasn't allowed to get 296 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 1: that was considered like hot food, okay, and I just 297 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: I could feel my mom so embarrassed and shrink, and 298 00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: I just was like, I'm gonna do this because I 299 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: want more for myself, but I want more for them. 300 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:35,560 Speaker 1: And when people, you know, criticize me so much, which 301 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 1: we'll get to in our work environment of being, you know, 302 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: I just didn't take bullshit. I was there to serve 303 00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: a job. I was always. I chose every single day 304 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,560 Speaker 1: to be the best, to be excellent, to be great 305 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,560 Speaker 1: because I had something. I didn't have plan B. I 306 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:55,160 Speaker 1: didn't have mommy and Daddy helping me. I had no 307 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: fucking choice, and it was survival for me. 308 00:15:59,280 --> 00:15:59,560 Speaker 2: That's it. 309 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 1: Literally, when people are like, WHOA, she's too competitive. Oh 310 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,480 Speaker 1: she's mean to me, Oh she No, I'm holding you 311 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: to a standard of which you'll never fucking understand because 312 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 1: I'm not going back. So if it's me and you, yeah, 313 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna fucking eat you. It's yeah, it's not simple. 314 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:18,760 Speaker 1: If it's me, it's me, it's every time. I'm choosing 315 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: me every time. 316 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 2: What you just said helped me in a lot of 317 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 2: ways because I am uber competitive in a very different way, 318 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 2: but I am intense. I hear that all the time, 319 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 2: Like when I'm at work, my friend's like you're so 320 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 2: intense or people I work with it like she's a lot. 321 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 2: But that is because I'm surviving. I have to survive. 322 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,800 Speaker 2: I don't. I want to survive and I don't want 323 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,000 Speaker 2: to go back. I think that drives you more than 324 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 2: it can drive anyone. And I think when it's in 325 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,240 Speaker 2: a woman, it feels uncomfortable because you're not used to it. 326 00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 2: But it's survival. I remember thinking I grew up middle class. 327 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,520 Speaker 2: I remember thinking, oh, we're fine. Yeah. I was like 328 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,680 Speaker 2: I don't, this is great. I was happy. I didn't 329 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,720 Speaker 2: know anymore. I had what I wanted to have, but 330 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 2: I but life was introduced to me extremely early. Like 331 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,400 Speaker 2: I knew there was no Santa Claus by the time 332 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:13,200 Speaker 2: I was five. I knew that my mother would try 333 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 2: to get me those Christmas presents if you could, but 334 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 2: maybe not. I knew that there were things that we 335 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,040 Speaker 2: could have and things that we just couldn't have, Like 336 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,679 Speaker 2: I wasn't allowed to have it. That's just because. But 337 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:27,280 Speaker 2: I also remember, because I was going to that school, 338 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 2: being bussed at school, those kids, because kids are cruel 339 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:32,760 Speaker 2: as hell, would always remind me where I came from, 340 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,360 Speaker 2: and they would be like, don't you live in downtown LA. 341 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,560 Speaker 2: Isn't it poor down there? And I remember being like, no, 342 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,320 Speaker 2: it's not, because I really didn't think I lived that way. 343 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 2: But there was this you have to prove yourself and 344 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 2: that's what I felt. And all of that just permeates 345 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 2: your entire existence until you get comfortable enough to know 346 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,000 Speaker 2: that you don't have to do it. But you just 347 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 2: look back and you're like, oh, these are the things 348 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 2: that made me like, These are the things that made 349 00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 2: me really truly made me want to either fit in 350 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 2: or made me feel like I had to prove and 351 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:10,399 Speaker 2: it was hard. Like I kid you not, Ashlynn. My 352 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 2: mother hates to hear these stories, but I told her 353 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,640 Speaker 2: that is who I am. But when you just said 354 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,160 Speaker 2: what you said about having kids made you forgive your parents, 355 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,120 Speaker 2: I was like that I need to adopt some kids 356 00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,679 Speaker 2: because I need to forgive her. Yeah, I need to 357 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 2: forgive her because she did the best she could. 358 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: She yes, and she did, and what they had access to, 359 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:36,639 Speaker 1: Oh my god, my parents worked so hard, so hard, 360 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: And I'm like, when did you find time to sleep? 361 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:39,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 362 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:40,160 Speaker 1: Never? Never? 363 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 2: Yeah? 364 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: And I just remember, and even to this day, I 365 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,720 Speaker 1: do not keep can goods in my home because I 366 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,879 Speaker 1: lived off of it. Oh, we live. There would be 367 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 1: tent sales. I will never forget this. At the BX 368 00:18:55,200 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: Commissary because my grandparents were military, they would have sales 369 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 1: when it was like close to X, you know, expiring 370 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 1: or it already expired, and we would stock up on 371 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 1: like just can good sloppy Joe's can cream cream, corn 372 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 1: can green beans. Like I won't I won't touch it. 373 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: I just won't touch it because it makes me think 374 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,920 Speaker 1: about how hard that was. So hard, and it is 375 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:28,119 Speaker 1: a bit of stubbornness, a little bit sure because you 376 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 1: know there's no there's there's not an issue with eating 377 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,919 Speaker 1: canned goods, but it has this I just have this 378 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,600 Speaker 1: weird memory that I'm like, not here, not now. Too hard. 379 00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want it. So interesting about what you 380 00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,160 Speaker 2: won't do anymore from your childhood. 381 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris. 382 00:19:49,400 --> 00:20:04,119 Speaker 1: We'll be right back. I really want to know carry 383 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:08,680 Speaker 1: how this shape you like, you know, our experiences, why 384 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:13,159 Speaker 1: we chose the life we did, Like, what was the 385 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 1: moment you were like I got to get out of this. 386 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: I don't want I need to break this cycle. I'm 387 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: smart I'm beautiful, I have all these things. I knew 388 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: it at seven. Yeah, now what, like, where did Carrie go? 389 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,640 Speaker 2: I remember being a little kid and the newscaster came 390 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:31,280 Speaker 2: to our came to our local neighborhood, and we were 391 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,400 Speaker 2: cleaning up with brooms, and I remember they aired the 392 00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,479 Speaker 2: what they called a closer or just like a happy 393 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,359 Speaker 2: story at the very end of the end of the newscast, 394 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,680 Speaker 2: and it was me and my neighborhood friends just cleaning 395 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:45,199 Speaker 2: up the neighborhood. And before that, the only images I 396 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,240 Speaker 2: had seen of black people were like, they were gangsters, 397 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 2: they were doing wrong. There were a lot of negative 398 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,840 Speaker 2: stereotypes out there about black folks. And when I saw that, 399 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,720 Speaker 2: I was like, well, how powerful. What if I could 400 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 2: do a bunch of stories that were all good about 401 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 2: what's happening in good neighborhoods because I don't feel like 402 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,280 Speaker 2: my family is every that I see on TV. They're 403 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:04,600 Speaker 2: not always going to jail, They're not always And I 404 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,240 Speaker 2: was really driven by that pureness of wanting to tell 405 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,679 Speaker 2: the story of a culture that I was a part of. 406 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,600 Speaker 2: And it was like, if I look back, you know, 407 00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 2: teenage pregnancy was a real thing. My cousin was all 408 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 2: my family members were pregnant when they were like fourteen 409 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:23,240 Speaker 2: and fifteen. In and out of jail. It was really 410 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 2: true stories in and out of jail, all those stories, 411 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:30,000 Speaker 2: all of those stories. But I still felt different and 412 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 2: set apart, and I felt like my job was to 413 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,440 Speaker 2: I was always I Always when I saw Oprah on TV, 414 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 2: I was like, I want to do what she's doing. 415 00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,440 Speaker 2: Something about this woman feels familiar, in captivating and honest, 416 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 2: and I was drawn to her and I was connected 417 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,440 Speaker 2: to her, and I would just stand in front of 418 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 2: TV and just just look at her and be like, Okay, 419 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:46,960 Speaker 2: she reminds me of my you know what I mean, 420 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 2: my auntie. I want to be like Oprah, like we 421 00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:53,879 Speaker 2: all do. And that was my goal. I always wanted 422 00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,919 Speaker 2: to speak for those who can speak for themselves. I 423 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,040 Speaker 2: always wanted to just do the right thing. And I 424 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 2: think I think the part of me that that grew 425 00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 2: up wanting to fit in, the part of me that 426 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:09,239 Speaker 2: grew up wanting to prove, the part of me that 427 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,159 Speaker 2: was like I can do more, was really just speaking 428 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 2: for myself, like me saying I want to speak for 429 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 2: someone who can speak for themselves. I was just trying 430 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 2: to say, see, look, I deserve, I deserve and I 431 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:24,400 Speaker 2: wasn't saying that in those words, but I think all 432 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 2: of my experiences made me want to just show people 433 00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 2: that I deserve a chance. Let this little black girl in. 434 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 2: She deserves a chance. Give her the opportunity and she'll 435 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:39,240 Speaker 2: run with it, and and and for better or for worse. 436 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,680 Speaker 2: It's helped me. But I am still very like I'm 437 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 2: no matter how tough I am, I'm hypersensitive. You know, 438 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 2: we're though, like you know what I mean, And it 439 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,960 Speaker 2: doesn't show up, Yeah, it's not. It may not always 440 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,679 Speaker 2: come off like, oh I should be shedding tears. It 441 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,840 Speaker 2: comes off like, well, I'm with the shits. Like I'm 442 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 2: with the shits, you know what I mean, And that 443 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,480 Speaker 2: is the only way I can protect myself. But I'm 444 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:03,080 Speaker 2: super say, like, if I think I'm with people and 445 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:04,880 Speaker 2: I like them and I learned that they're not as 446 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,159 Speaker 2: nice or they might be talking crap about me, that 447 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 2: hurts my feelings because I was open and I was 448 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,760 Speaker 2: vulnerable to you and I wanted to let you in. 449 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 2: And so I finally get to the point of my 450 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:17,120 Speaker 2: life where I'm still pushing through, like I and I'm 451 00:23:17,119 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 2: sure you've pushed through. But then I get to the 452 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,520 Speaker 2: point of my life where like I'm like, fuck it, 453 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,720 Speaker 2: I am who I am? Yeah, I don't know, I can't. 454 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 1: And you don't have to apologize for that. 455 00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's a great thing. If you get it, 456 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 2: you get it, and if you know, you know. But 457 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,680 Speaker 2: if you don't know, I feel sorry for you because 458 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:31,640 Speaker 2: you're missing out. Well. 459 00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:35,399 Speaker 1: I just I love when you talk about Oprah because 460 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,720 Speaker 1: this is what we're missing is representation. Yeah, I'll say 461 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:46,640 Speaker 1: it over visibility representation for sure. You know. I love 462 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,520 Speaker 1: that you were able to see that on TV as 463 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 1: a seven year old, because I did. I read this 464 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 1: story about that AHA moment for you when you're sitting 465 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: there and your you know, grandma probably is like, get 466 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,280 Speaker 1: your ass back too close to the TV. I don't 467 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: know if that was your mom, are you granny both? 468 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,200 Speaker 2: Why are you close sitting on top of the TV. 469 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,280 Speaker 2: They're like, you don have bad eyes? 470 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:11,199 Speaker 1: Too late, it's late, but it's you know, seeing is 471 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,720 Speaker 1: really believing, right. I think for women, we're always told 472 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,679 Speaker 1: to not take up too much space, don't be too confrontational, 473 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 1: don't don't say too much on this topic, and it's 474 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:27,240 Speaker 1: like the second we do, we're labeled as complicated, confrontational, 475 00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 1: all of these things, a bitch or this and that. 476 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:34,919 Speaker 1: I can imagine has a beautiful, smart black woman going 477 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,359 Speaker 1: into TV, going into journalism is. 478 00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 2: How dare you? 479 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 1: I can't imagine what you face, But you're still here. 480 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 2: It's hard, and it's still hard. It's still hard. Here's 481 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,360 Speaker 2: the thing I think, like I think when I went 482 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,200 Speaker 2: to ESPN. Well, first of all, I started off in 483 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,760 Speaker 2: local news and I worked my way up and I 484 00:24:55,800 --> 00:24:57,919 Speaker 2: got fire for cursing on air. It's my favorite. 485 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 1: Tell me everything. West Virginia's my girl goes. Grew up 486 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,080 Speaker 1: in Pasadena. 487 00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 2: I grew up in Pasadena. I drive my Nissan Ultima 488 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,240 Speaker 2: to West Virginia to get my very first TV job. 489 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 1: And you went to UCLA. I want to talk about that, 490 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: right and yeah, now shipped to West virgin Ucla. 491 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 2: I'm in Westwood is the center of everything. And then 492 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,520 Speaker 2: I've only lived and as you will know, California is 493 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,160 Speaker 2: arguably one of the most liberal states. Everybody's doing whatever. 494 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 2: You mind your business, no one cares, No one cares. 495 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,800 Speaker 2: You just mind your business. And I and I get 496 00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:33,439 Speaker 2: a job in Bluefield Oakley, West, Virginia market one something 497 00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 2: at the time, probably two hundred now, and I and 498 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,560 Speaker 2: I was a one man band. They gave me a car, 499 00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,000 Speaker 2: they gave me a camera, and they said in a 500 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,520 Speaker 2: tripod very much like what you see here, and they 501 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 2: were like, good luck, go out there and do it. 502 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:45,719 Speaker 2: So I was like, Okay, I'll go and do it. 503 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 2: And at the time you speak of representation, there were 504 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 2: only really two women who were really well known, and 505 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,560 Speaker 2: any woman who was doing kind of what I was 506 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 2: doing kind of looked like Katie Kirk, you know, short hair. 507 00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,959 Speaker 2: Oprah was aspirational because she was sitting and she had 508 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,679 Speaker 2: already did. Katie felt very newsy to me. And I 509 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,879 Speaker 2: wanted a big, cheap suit in a short haircut. And 510 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 2: I was, ohka, God bless me, I mean, oily skin 511 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,000 Speaker 2: make up here breaking up. 512 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,399 Speaker 1: We need a picture. 513 00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:18,159 Speaker 2: I'm I literally have to go way. I got to 514 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:19,800 Speaker 2: go call and ask for a photo because it was 515 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 2: this disaster. But it was my very first job, and 516 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,800 Speaker 2: I loved it, and I loved it and I loved 517 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 2: it and I loved it. I didn't care how the 518 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 2: mayor walked up to me and said, Hey, do you 519 00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 2: want to meet our colored lady. This was not nineteen nineteen, 520 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 2: this is two thousand and one. And I was like, 521 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 2: you're wet now. Yeah. 522 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:38,400 Speaker 1: She was like, our. 523 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,679 Speaker 2: Colored lady, you guys will have a good time. And 524 00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:43,600 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, she thinks that's okay and I didn't. 525 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 2: And then I remember I had befriended a few people there, 526 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 2: and I was like, gosh, the mayor called me colored. 527 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:50,800 Speaker 2: She was like, you've never been called colored. I was like, oh, 528 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,920 Speaker 2: I don't know. I literally drove from two thousand and 529 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 2: one to nineteen seventy six cause I don't know where 530 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,480 Speaker 2: I drove to. It was like I was driving backwards. 531 00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:01,760 Speaker 2: But it didn't offend me because she didn't you want 532 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:04,320 Speaker 2: to hear something crazy. She didn't want. She wasn't saying 533 00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,400 Speaker 2: that offensively. It was a term that she had been 534 00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:09,960 Speaker 2: using since she was since the beginning of life, and 535 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:12,919 Speaker 2: I wasn't And I felt that I didn't feel like 536 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 2: she was trying to put me down. I felt like 537 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 2: she was really trying to embrace me and have me 538 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,920 Speaker 2: meet people. And they didn't know I was a city slicker. 539 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:20,640 Speaker 2: I was like, we don't use those words where I'm from. 540 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,960 Speaker 2: She's like, oh, really, you know, like they were just surprised, 541 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,840 Speaker 2: and I remember thinking I didn't care that happened. I 542 00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,359 Speaker 2: remember thinking, I love what I do, and I'm going 543 00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 2: to do this for the rest of my life, and 544 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:32,919 Speaker 2: I'm going to be so amazing at this because I 545 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 2: love what it is, the telling stories, meeting people, understanding 546 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,600 Speaker 2: who they were. And then I had bounced around because 547 00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,440 Speaker 2: in that business, local news, you have to bounce from 548 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:44,080 Speaker 2: market to market. So I went to Florida and I 549 00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,520 Speaker 2: thrived there West pom Beach, and then I went to Atlanta. 550 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 2: And Atlanta was when I was I fully realized I 551 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 2: was a black woman and I did not deserve this 552 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 2: in their minds, the same privileges other people had. Atlanta 553 00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 2: was the first time, because I do believe I describe 554 00:27:59,520 --> 00:28:04,160 Speaker 2: Atlanta City as a blue dot in a red state, 555 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 2: meaning everyone was seemingly progressive. The mayor was black, the 556 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,359 Speaker 2: governor wasn't black, but like those people who were in 557 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,639 Speaker 2: there were lawyers and attorneys who were very black. And 558 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, this is a very black for 559 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 2: upwardly mobile community. And I remember being told by my 560 00:28:22,440 --> 00:28:25,040 Speaker 2: boss at the time basically I was too big for 561 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 2: my bridges and he didn't like my attitude and he 562 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,760 Speaker 2: wanted me to be humbled, and he tried to and 563 00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,919 Speaker 2: they fired me. They fired me for a story that 564 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,520 Speaker 2: was not even worth being fired, but it was whether 565 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 2: or not I said mother suka on air, which is 566 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,000 Speaker 2: a common thing. You know, Black folks be like my mom, 567 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,080 Speaker 2: mother sucker. This My mic was hot and you could 568 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,080 Speaker 2: hear it in the commercial break. You couldn't see me, 569 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,480 Speaker 2: but you could hear me saying mother soaka. And they're like, 570 00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 2: no one uses that word, and I'm like, it's a 571 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 2: black terminology who use it all the time. It's very funny. 572 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 2: It's my way of not cursing. But more importantly, I 573 00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 2: wasn't even on camera, So why are you? Why are 574 00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 2: you firing me? What did I do wrong? Really? I 575 00:28:59,920 --> 00:29:02,280 Speaker 2: was literally a commercial braink. But my boss had told 576 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,440 Speaker 2: me that I'd gotten too big for my bitches in 577 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,120 Speaker 2: a matter of speaking, and I was like oh. And 578 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 2: then everyone started to talk to me about what it 579 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 2: looked like and how I presented and how it made 580 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:17,360 Speaker 2: people uncomfortable. And I was like, oh, I'm too comfortable. 581 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 2: You want me to be more deferential, You want me 582 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 2: to thank you, sir, thank you boss, And I was like, 583 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 2: I don't even know what that looks like. I don't 584 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,120 Speaker 2: even have that in me, even if I knew to 585 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 2: do that, I don't have that in me. Because we're equal. 586 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,440 Speaker 2: I walk in any room thinking we're the equal. You're 587 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,120 Speaker 2: just as important. Everybody's all the same, right, Why are 588 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 2: you so special over me? Why does your skin color 589 00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 2: make you better than me? What in the world is 590 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,000 Speaker 2: this this thing that told us that if you are darker, 591 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:50,320 Speaker 2: you have more melanin you don't deserve. I mean, and 592 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:54,200 Speaker 2: it is a truth around the world, around the globe. 593 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 2: And I have never in my life adhere to that truth. 594 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,040 Speaker 2: And I won't. Yeah, and I won't and I won't. 595 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:01,960 Speaker 1: No, you won't. 596 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 2: And I remember thinking, oh, this is bigger than me. 597 00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,960 Speaker 2: And I moved back from Atlanta. They ended up hiring me. 598 00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,680 Speaker 2: I got fired, but hired again because they really had 599 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,880 Speaker 2: no cause. And I stayed there for about four or 600 00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 2: five more months, and then I moved back to la 601 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:20,640 Speaker 2: and my best friends like, you are militant. When did 602 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:23,360 Speaker 2: you turn so militant? And I was like, I'm not militant. 603 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 2: I just realized I'm a black woman in America. 604 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 1: Jesus and that's more true now than ever. 605 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:31,240 Speaker 2: It's more true now than ever. And I had no idea. 606 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,760 Speaker 2: I was running around for the bulk of my adult 607 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,280 Speaker 2: life thinking life is good. I didn't know I was 608 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,520 Speaker 2: life is great. I didn't know I was separate, separated 609 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 2: because in the world that we live in, you have 610 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,680 Speaker 2: to work hard and you'll get ahead. And I did 611 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:48,120 Speaker 2: those things. I put my head down, I did the work. 612 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 2: I was a good person, and I got ahead. My 613 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:54,239 Speaker 2: skin color should not have mattered, but the world will 614 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,160 Speaker 2: humble you. And when I was in Atlanta, they reminded 615 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 2: me that your skin color does separate. You are supposed 616 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:04,120 Speaker 2: to act a certain way. At least that's their philosophy. 617 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,239 Speaker 2: And I left, and I left. I say that all 618 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,360 Speaker 2: the time. I was like the veil was lifted. I 619 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:14,040 Speaker 2: was a virgin. I was so naive, I was so sweet. 620 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,160 Speaker 2: And I left and I came back like, all right, 621 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:17,840 Speaker 2: I'm tired of this shit, you know what I mean. 622 00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:21,160 Speaker 2: I can't say angry, angry. 623 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,320 Speaker 1: And they wonder why women are so angry. Oh God, 624 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 1: I was so angry because we're taught to be grateful, 625 00:31:26,440 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 1: to roll on your back, to take up less room, 626 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,120 Speaker 1: to be less than everyone else, and we're like, you know, 627 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:38,360 Speaker 1: I can relate as someone who sued their employer US Soccer. Yes, 628 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 1: And they were like, it's this, it's this vibe of oh, 629 00:31:42,360 --> 00:31:43,720 Speaker 1: if you don't want to do it for this much, 630 00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:47,680 Speaker 1: we'll find someone else. And finally we were like, well, 631 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,600 Speaker 1: if we all fucking walk, they can't do anything. 632 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,360 Speaker 2: Amen, And we deserve the respect for putting in the 633 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 2: hours and doing the things the ten thousand hours to 634 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:56,840 Speaker 2: be great, like, and I deserve my money. 635 00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, And we constantly are paid less. 636 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:01,080 Speaker 2: Constantly paid less, constantly. 637 00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 1: This is wide open, and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris. 638 00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:22,080 Speaker 1: We'll be right back. You know, you've worked for CNN 639 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:27,920 Speaker 1: and ESPN. I have heard nothing but toxic cultures about 640 00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:33,760 Speaker 1: these places based on that exact topic money, money, yep, 641 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,959 Speaker 1: and how they treat women horribly. And the second you 642 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 1: start to stand up for yourself, you're out the door 643 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:41,240 Speaker 1: and they'll find someone else. 644 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:45,240 Speaker 2: I was the first, I think Monday through Friday host 645 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 2: of First Take, and at the time it was Skip 646 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,720 Speaker 2: Bayless and Steven A. Smith and it was the first 647 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 2: venture and I was in the middle seat, and I 648 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:53,400 Speaker 2: really didn't know what my job was supposed to be. 649 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:55,920 Speaker 2: The way it was described was that I was just 650 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 2: going to be the moderator, and you don't know what 651 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,320 Speaker 2: that really entails. And I've spoken and I've talked about 652 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 2: this since I've left ESPN. Arguably the hardest job I 653 00:33:03,640 --> 00:33:07,640 Speaker 2: had ever had in my entire life. Surviving Surviving that 654 00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,680 Speaker 2: place is something that only the special people can do. 655 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 2: And if you're still there, it's because you understand the 656 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,760 Speaker 2: assignment and you're not taking it personally and you know 657 00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:22,520 Speaker 2: how to move through the world. I was. It was 658 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,960 Speaker 2: very clear that I was told not to talk. I 659 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,960 Speaker 2: could just tee up the topics and let's give in 660 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:31,680 Speaker 2: Steven a way out go at it. And they let 661 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,720 Speaker 2: me know I was a rook in every possible way, 662 00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,280 Speaker 2: like for better or for worse, and I didn't expect 663 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:40,240 Speaker 2: special special treatment. But they were mean now and it 664 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,960 Speaker 2: was clear, and I had nowhere to go. I had 665 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 2: nobody to talk to. I often describe it as the 666 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 2: middle seat. When you're in the middle seat of an airplane. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 667 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:53,959 Speaker 2: It's the most uncomfortable position to be in life, and 668 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:58,440 Speaker 2: also on the airplane. Yeah. I'll say two things, though, 669 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:04,640 Speaker 2: I survived them, and that made me very proud of myself. 670 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,560 Speaker 2: It made me proud of myself because I don't think 671 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,880 Speaker 2: everybody could do that. I think that I made it 672 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:14,839 Speaker 2: easier for Molly, even the woman who's hosting now, Molly 673 00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:18,520 Speaker 2: korerm I think I made it easier for her in 674 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,719 Speaker 2: terms of I went through it first. But it was 675 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,560 Speaker 2: a tough ask and we were always underpaid, and it 676 00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:28,279 Speaker 2: was always people telling us that we didn't deserve I 677 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,480 Speaker 2: see it now, I'll watch I'm like, oh, they're miserable, 678 00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:34,279 Speaker 2: like not even miserable, but I can see that. Yes 679 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:37,720 Speaker 2: we've made headway. Yes it's great women are in sports 680 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 2: and they're doing great things, but it is it has 681 00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,359 Speaker 2: always been a man's world. Like Steven Asmith's talking about 682 00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,560 Speaker 2: he wants one hundred million dollars because no woman could 683 00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:46,920 Speaker 2: ever say I want a hundred million. 684 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 1: Dollars, absolutely shamed and canceled, like who the fuck is 685 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,000 Speaker 1: she to even say those things? 686 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,240 Speaker 2: What woman could demand? I don't even I remember Candice 687 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,560 Speaker 2: Parker saying when she was still playing and there was 688 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:00,359 Speaker 2: free agency for the NBA, and she was like, listen, 689 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 2: I'm gonna say this, and I'm jumping offline. I hope 690 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 2: the day comes when my daughter can turn down thirty 691 00:35:06,160 --> 00:35:08,360 Speaker 2: four million dollars a year, I hope the day comes. 692 00:35:08,360 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 2: It was something like, I forget the amount of money, 693 00:35:10,080 --> 00:35:12,040 Speaker 2: but she was just like, we don't have that luxury. 694 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:17,319 Speaker 2: And to me, that's where the respect comes in, because 695 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 2: if you don't pay me like you pay them, you 696 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:22,880 Speaker 2: can't respect me, right, you can't really truly respect me 697 00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,960 Speaker 2: if you don't pay me like you pay my mail counterpart. 698 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,839 Speaker 1: Well, also, how do you show up and be your 699 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,799 Speaker 1: full self when you know they're shrinking and minimizing you 700 00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:35,719 Speaker 1: the whole time and telling you yes and invertently you 701 00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:37,600 Speaker 1: should just be happy to be You should just got 702 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,360 Speaker 1: you got our middle seat at the table, and you 703 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:42,960 Speaker 1: shut your mouth and you be happy and grateful. 704 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 2: That's exactly what I was told day in and day out. 705 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,759 Speaker 2: If it wasn't if I wasn't physically, if I wasn't 706 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,520 Speaker 2: told that verbally, I was told that in a way 707 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:52,520 Speaker 2: that I was treated, whether it be travel or what 708 00:35:52,600 --> 00:35:54,880 Speaker 2: have you. And whenever I would ask for my own 709 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,120 Speaker 2: whenever I would ask for equity, it is like she's 710 00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:00,200 Speaker 2: been a problem. Here, she is being a problem. She's 711 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:03,160 Speaker 2: always complaining. Here, she is being a problem and it's 712 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,360 Speaker 2: so frustrating. And I'll tell you how you deal because 713 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 2: either you fight the good fight and then you take 714 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:10,360 Speaker 2: a break. And then you fight the good fight and 715 00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:13,080 Speaker 2: you take a break. But my entire life in this 716 00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,479 Speaker 2: career that I have chosen is fight the good fight, 717 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,799 Speaker 2: but then take a mental break, because it will break 718 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,840 Speaker 2: you down. It will make you want to leave, it 719 00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,560 Speaker 2: will make you not want to be bothered. I think 720 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,719 Speaker 2: that that's and I want to say, that's just what 721 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,759 Speaker 2: it is, and it has to stay that way. But 722 00:36:27,880 --> 00:36:30,480 Speaker 2: you fight the good fight and then you take your breaks. 723 00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:33,280 Speaker 2: That's the only way you can literally leave this place 724 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,400 Speaker 2: with some bit of sanity. Otherwise you're going to go crazy. 725 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 2: You're going to go crazy because people are going to 726 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,640 Speaker 2: look at you like, why are you complaining? Why are 727 00:36:39,680 --> 00:36:44,800 Speaker 2: you asking for more? And I remember saying a couple 728 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:48,520 Speaker 2: of things. Those two men or the hardest working men 729 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:51,680 Speaker 2: I've ever met. They weren't mailing it in. They would 730 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,439 Speaker 2: work all day out at steven A and Skip would 731 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:56,080 Speaker 2: work all day every day. They were hard workers, which 732 00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,840 Speaker 2: in turn made me want to work hard. But the 733 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,400 Speaker 2: level of an equity was so blatant and so humiliating, 734 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:06,879 Speaker 2: so humiliating. There were times I'd be on air and 735 00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,279 Speaker 2: Skip would be like, shut up, we're not listening to her. 736 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 2: She's not like she's like fanning me off. And I 737 00:37:16,719 --> 00:37:20,560 Speaker 2: remember this looking at Steven A and seven A would 738 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:24,040 Speaker 2: be like like kind of rolling his eyes because he 739 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:28,480 Speaker 2: knows that Skip is is difficult. But it was his show, right, 740 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:31,880 Speaker 2: it was Skip show, so we couldn't push the envelope. 741 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:34,319 Speaker 2: And and and if you ask him about it, Skip 742 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,360 Speaker 2: will say, well, we gave her a platform. Oh, we're lucky. 743 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,840 Speaker 2: We get she's lucky. We gave her a platform. You're welcome, Carrie, 744 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,160 Speaker 2: and I look espn thank you. I appreciate the platform. 745 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:45,760 Speaker 2: Thank you for giving me a platform. 746 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 1: No, but that's not Carrie, but exactly exactly, So don't 747 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:51,120 Speaker 1: get it twisted. 748 00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:52,560 Speaker 2: Hey, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, thanks for that. 749 00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:56,040 Speaker 2: But I earned it. And I didn't just pop up 750 00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,200 Speaker 2: and people didn't just pay attention to me just because 751 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,160 Speaker 2: I was sitting with you. I worked hard and you 752 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,200 Speaker 2: know it, like, do not act like you just said 753 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:04,400 Speaker 2: here you go and I just sat there. I was 754 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,239 Speaker 2: worthy of all of that before I got there, and 755 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,799 Speaker 2: when I arrived and it was so difficult because you 756 00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,480 Speaker 2: only had a few people who like supported you, and 757 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,359 Speaker 2: they usually were brown women, Black and brown women who 758 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:20,080 Speaker 2: supported you and they wanted you to really, really really 759 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 2: do well because they knew what it was like and 760 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:25,800 Speaker 2: it was just a tough ask. But but Ashley, I 761 00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:28,440 Speaker 2: don't know about you. I was built for that. I 762 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:29,880 Speaker 2: don't think we should have to do it, but I 763 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,799 Speaker 2: was built for it. I don't think we should have 764 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 2: to do it. 765 00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:35,600 Speaker 1: No, I don't, and I don't think that we have 766 00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:41,000 Speaker 1: to constantly feel that we have to be that person. 767 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,839 Speaker 1: I don't want my three year old daughter to look 768 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,319 Speaker 1: at her two year old brother and be like, no 769 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,600 Speaker 1: matter how hard I work to get a middle seat, 770 00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,919 Speaker 1: it will never be enough. Because this is the way 771 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 1: society views me, Like that's garbage. Name a man who 772 00:38:56,239 --> 00:39:00,120 Speaker 1: has won two World Cups, No, all the championships. It's 773 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: hard press and it's just not gonna happen. 774 00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:04,600 Speaker 2: They're getting investments to build whatever companies they want because 775 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,239 Speaker 2: people were fans, Yeah, and they just wanted to sit around. 776 00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:09,920 Speaker 1: And to me, like, I think Steven's great, and he's right. 777 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,960 Speaker 1: He's had for twelve years, he's had the best ratings 778 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,120 Speaker 1: and number one, he deserves. He deserves it. 779 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,160 Speaker 2: I have said that to him. 780 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,480 Speaker 1: What but what about us? Why do we not. 781 00:39:19,719 --> 00:39:22,560 Speaker 2: Correct, deserve, correct. 782 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:24,279 Speaker 1: What we're entitled to and the work we've put in 783 00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:26,400 Speaker 1: just because because. 784 00:39:26,160 --> 00:39:29,239 Speaker 2: We just I let me tell you something. I I 785 00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:32,040 Speaker 2: even I sent Steve and attack, I said, get your money. 786 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 2: I'm happy for you. I really truly want to see 787 00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,920 Speaker 2: you get your money. That has nothing to do with me. 788 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:40,399 Speaker 2: You deserve, get it all, run with it. You are, 789 00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:43,759 Speaker 2: you deserve it, You've owned it. But why is it 790 00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:48,200 Speaker 2: that we as women are constantly told what we don't 791 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:52,879 Speaker 2: deserve every single day, in every possible way, every single day, 792 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:57,000 Speaker 2: in every possible way. I don't I don't understand why 793 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,640 Speaker 2: that is. I do understand now that this country is 794 00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:03,040 Speaker 2: more s exist. I believe that it is racist. I 795 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,440 Speaker 2: do believe that now. I may change my mind a 796 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:10,839 Speaker 2: month from now, But I know, I know that it 797 00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:15,600 Speaker 2: is you. To hear you complain we and not even complain, 798 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:19,360 Speaker 2: to hear you demand what you deserve is very, very 799 00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:21,959 Speaker 2: familiar to me and every woman I know, no matter 800 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:25,800 Speaker 2: who what you look like, blonde and beautiful, black and tall, Latin, 801 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:29,320 Speaker 2: in this it is across the board. We feel unheard 802 00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:33,560 Speaker 2: and unseen in these spaces, especially in sports, and I 803 00:40:33,600 --> 00:40:36,400 Speaker 2: wish I knew when it could change. I just in 804 00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,920 Speaker 2: light of recent festivities and activities, I don't know if 805 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:43,640 Speaker 2: that will ever change. But here's the problem. When women 806 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,280 Speaker 2: do get in these positions of power, the few women 807 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,240 Speaker 2: that I've seen in these positions of power, they don't 808 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:54,799 Speaker 2: lift up. They they literally keep that they garnt the gate. 809 00:40:55,440 --> 00:40:58,560 Speaker 2: They don't want it. I'm talking about executives. Like the 810 00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:02,680 Speaker 2: people who made my life the most miserable were women executives. 811 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:04,400 Speaker 2: And I'm all like, well, why are you doing this? 812 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,359 Speaker 2: You had to go through the same thing I went through. 813 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,680 Speaker 2: Why are you making this so difficult for me? You 814 00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:12,600 Speaker 2: had to fight, push and finally arrive. And then when 815 00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,880 Speaker 2: you arrive, you decide your gatekeeping who can come in. 816 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:19,279 Speaker 1: Because we're brainwashed to think there's not enough chairs at 817 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,759 Speaker 1: the fucking table. You're right, So instead of standing on 818 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:24,960 Speaker 1: the backs of the women who have paved the way, 819 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,000 Speaker 1: we stand on their fucking necks. 820 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,720 Speaker 2: On their necks, and that is the problem. 821 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:33,799 Speaker 1: Yes, it undermines every bit of our worth and who 822 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,399 Speaker 1: we are. And then the second we say anything about it. 823 00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:43,319 Speaker 1: We're pegged to be these ungrateful, complicated humans when we're like, 824 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 1: we got bills to who you thinks? 825 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:49,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, get I don't know. There's no one 826 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:51,640 Speaker 2: coming out of the corner just to pay all bills 827 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,520 Speaker 2: for me. No thing, My bills are different. Yeah, I'm 828 00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:57,960 Speaker 2: paying the same. Were you interesting that you say that? 829 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,839 Speaker 2: Because I had an agent who's like, you know, all 830 00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,560 Speaker 2: you have to do is just be nice, just be sweet. 831 00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,480 Speaker 2: You can get the job. That other stuff doesn't matter. 832 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,480 Speaker 2: Just be sweet, just be nice. I was like, I 833 00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:09,480 Speaker 2: am sweet. I am nice because I'm asking for them 834 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,360 Speaker 2: to fly me the same classifying my colleagues, what about 835 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,000 Speaker 2: me is not sweet or nice? Like? How do I 836 00:42:15,040 --> 00:42:17,160 Speaker 2: ask that question? Just to ask for what I want? 837 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:22,160 Speaker 2: I just it's so it's so minimizing. And then and then, 838 00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,319 Speaker 2: I don't know if you've seen this, I think people 839 00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:26,120 Speaker 2: will sit around and say, well, why are they complaining. 840 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,160 Speaker 2: I'm like, we're not complaining. We're just talking about what 841 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 2: it is. But we made it so much better for 842 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,800 Speaker 2: everybody coming behind us. I think about the WNBA. Do 843 00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,319 Speaker 2: you know, like what these women are about to experience? 844 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 2: How but they stand on the shoulders of so many 845 00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,719 Speaker 2: who experienced so less and got so much less. Of 846 00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 2: course there's going to be a bit of resentment, not 847 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:45,880 Speaker 2: towards them, but like. 848 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:48,520 Speaker 1: The system, the system, system. 849 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,759 Speaker 2: It's the system, and we have to change it. And 850 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:52,200 Speaker 2: I don't know how we do that. That's why it 851 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,280 Speaker 2: get so incredibly frustrated. Yeah, it's so incredibly. 852 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:57,360 Speaker 1: But you know what. The thing that we can stay 853 00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:04,759 Speaker 1: grounded and is we are not them. Yeah, we are 854 00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:09,759 Speaker 1: not like them. We lend a hand, We understand the 855 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:13,520 Speaker 1: importance of making room at a table so we all 856 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:16,840 Speaker 1: can be seen, and we value our walks, you know, 857 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:18,440 Speaker 1: how we've moved in this world. 858 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:22,080 Speaker 2: I had to learn that really I wasn't like I 859 00:43:22,160 --> 00:43:24,399 Speaker 2: was brainwashed. When you use that word, I was thinking, Oh, 860 00:43:24,400 --> 00:43:27,040 Speaker 2: she's so right. I had to learn that I wasn't 861 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:31,920 Speaker 2: friendly because I was taught that women were catty and 862 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,799 Speaker 2: they weren't going to be my friend and they were 863 00:43:33,800 --> 00:43:35,799 Speaker 2: going to make my life miserable. So I had such 864 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,200 Speaker 2: a guard up. And you know, and you know Jamal Hill, 865 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:42,400 Speaker 2: we tell this story all the time. Jamel made it 866 00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,800 Speaker 2: a point to be my friend and to protect me 867 00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:47,200 Speaker 2: and to look out for me. And I was like, oh, 868 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:49,640 Speaker 2: is this what this? Oh? Is this what this looks like? 869 00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:52,800 Speaker 2: If we all come together and we protect one another? 870 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:55,759 Speaker 2: Is this what this looks like? Because my instinct was 871 00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:58,120 Speaker 2: to stay guarded because that's all I had known. 872 00:43:59,160 --> 00:43:59,759 Speaker 1: How could you not? 873 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,000 Speaker 2: That's all I know? Because that's what they had told 874 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:05,000 Speaker 2: me it was supposed to be. I was brainwashed. And 875 00:44:05,120 --> 00:44:07,600 Speaker 2: until now I'm all like, oh, you know, with my 876 00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,160 Speaker 2: foundation Brown Girls Dream, I give back and I'm all like, 877 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,320 Speaker 2: this is what it's about. I feel so much better 878 00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,720 Speaker 2: when I am giving game and when I'm being kind 879 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:19,279 Speaker 2: to other people. It's so much more freeing. And I 880 00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,560 Speaker 2: still look, well, we still come across those women who 881 00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:24,600 Speaker 2: don't want to help us, We still come across those 882 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,640 Speaker 2: people who feel a way about us because they that's 883 00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:30,719 Speaker 2: on them and that's there and that's their shit. But 884 00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:35,640 Speaker 2: I my hope, and I don't have much hope right now. 885 00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:36,560 Speaker 1: How do you write this with you? 886 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:39,480 Speaker 2: It's hard, Like, I mean, you caught me on a 887 00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,400 Speaker 2: time where I wish I could. I'm usually positivity plus, 888 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,120 Speaker 2: and I don't have much hope right now, especially in 889 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:50,800 Speaker 2: this country. But my hope is that when it's time 890 00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:54,279 Speaker 2: to fight again for the for the moral arc, of 891 00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,160 Speaker 2: society that I am suited and booted and ready to 892 00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:01,160 Speaker 2: do so. But right now I'm feeling real low. And 893 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:04,799 Speaker 2: so I know, I know that we can make a 894 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:07,520 Speaker 2: difference and change the way women are seen and treated, 895 00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:11,040 Speaker 2: but it's hard to feel that right now in this moment. 896 00:45:11,880 --> 00:45:15,840 Speaker 1: What gives me strength is especially being a queer woman 897 00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:20,440 Speaker 1: and what could be four years of absolute torture and 898 00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:24,920 Speaker 1: hell for our community. I do find hope in knowing that. 899 00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:29,439 Speaker 1: You know, when you think back to the women who 900 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:35,880 Speaker 1: have paved the way, who have been the resistance, they 901 00:45:35,880 --> 00:45:36,960 Speaker 1: didn't get that overnight. 902 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, did not get. 903 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:39,239 Speaker 1: That doesn't happen. 904 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:41,440 Speaker 2: You're right, keep telling me that. 905 00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I will be the resistance. I will be 906 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:48,320 Speaker 1: I will fight for my people. I check every box. 907 00:45:48,400 --> 00:45:51,560 Speaker 1: I have two black children, I'm a gay woman who 908 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:52,920 Speaker 1: is from Florida. 909 00:45:53,160 --> 00:46:00,600 Speaker 2: Honey, I'm gonna tell you, I think you first of all, 910 00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:03,520 Speaker 2: I love that I love your babies regardless of their color. 911 00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,719 Speaker 2: But you have signed up for a world of lessons 912 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:12,319 Speaker 2: intentionally with so much love. And that's what it's about. Like, 913 00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:13,960 Speaker 2: that's what it should be about. 914 00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:15,040 Speaker 1: That means a lot to me. 915 00:46:15,200 --> 00:46:17,680 Speaker 2: That's what it should be about. It should be. It 916 00:46:17,719 --> 00:46:20,879 Speaker 2: should be like I want this I want this life, and. 917 00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:21,839 Speaker 1: I chose this life. 918 00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,600 Speaker 2: I chose this life. And more importantly, you know what 919 00:46:24,680 --> 00:46:28,319 Speaker 2: you what you already exemplify is that you're willing to 920 00:46:28,400 --> 00:46:31,359 Speaker 2: learn more. You're not like, live in my live in 921 00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:33,799 Speaker 2: my world and be like me. There's a world out 922 00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:35,920 Speaker 2: there that will see your son and daughter very differently, 923 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,120 Speaker 2: and you are open to understanding what that means and 924 00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:39,759 Speaker 2: what that looks like for them and how they have 925 00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:43,239 Speaker 2: to process it and making them fully aware. And to me, 926 00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,040 Speaker 2: we're we're more likely, we're different in so many ways. 927 00:46:48,440 --> 00:46:51,480 Speaker 2: And I'm like, that's what that's what we should be 928 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:55,080 Speaker 2: doing instead of separating ourselves. You know what I mean, it's. 929 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:58,200 Speaker 1: Having these conversations with people that don't look like us, 930 00:46:58,239 --> 00:47:02,360 Speaker 1: who maybe don't have the same opinions as us. Imagine 931 00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:06,640 Speaker 1: the compromise and compromise and understanding we would have if 932 00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 1: we just took time to learn our neighbors. 933 00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, and without judgment. 934 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:11,160 Speaker 1: There's no judgment. 935 00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:12,480 Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, that's what you got. 936 00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,840 Speaker 1: That's what my children have taught me. A see no color, 937 00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:21,120 Speaker 1: they see no gender, no sex, no nothing. They are 938 00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:25,680 Speaker 1: so pure, which is a huge responsibility of how we 939 00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:29,480 Speaker 1: choose and decide to raise them. My daughter tells me 940 00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:31,880 Speaker 1: all the time, Mama, why are you green? 941 00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:34,120 Speaker 2: Are you green? 942 00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:37,840 Speaker 1: Because my tattoos? She thinks I'm green. She thinks I'm green. 943 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,520 Speaker 1: She doesn't look at me. She's not like you're white, 944 00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:45,120 Speaker 1: I'm brown. She has no idea and she always comes 945 00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:49,239 Speaker 1: home and she was like, yeah, I have a friend 946 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,400 Speaker 1: who has two daddies, you know, like how I have 947 00:47:51,480 --> 00:47:56,879 Speaker 1: two mommies and it's just my child at three. There's 948 00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:00,960 Speaker 1: no hate, there's no this way or that way. Like 949 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:04,240 Speaker 1: I know the task ahead of me in a world 950 00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:08,720 Speaker 1: that feels so dark right now. I have to teach 951 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:11,960 Speaker 1: these children the light to be the change makers. You 952 00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,759 Speaker 1: and I were at very young ages. And it's like 953 00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:19,839 Speaker 1: for me, that is the greatest gift, the hardest thing 954 00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:23,040 Speaker 1: I'll probably ever have to do, especially in this world. 955 00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,800 Speaker 1: It's interesting to see when you have a children child 956 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:32,120 Speaker 1: because I want I have children running around. They just 957 00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:36,000 Speaker 1: want joy that they just want love, and it is 958 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:40,560 Speaker 1: my job to show them that life is so beautiful 959 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,160 Speaker 1: and it comes in different shapes and colors, and we 960 00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:46,239 Speaker 1: don't judge people for that, and we bring joy and 961 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:49,360 Speaker 1: kindness into the world, and they are going to be 962 00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:54,680 Speaker 1: privileged kids. There's no I don't have sure have to bullshit. 963 00:48:55,120 --> 00:49:00,840 Speaker 1: They will be they come from privilege, from extreme, extreme hardship. 964 00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:02,160 Speaker 2: You know. 965 00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:06,399 Speaker 1: The adoption process for me, once I sat in it, 966 00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,759 Speaker 1: it was so icky. It was it was just like 967 00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:12,080 Speaker 1: designer babies, this and that, And I'm like, I want 968 00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:13,640 Speaker 1: the hardest situations. 969 00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:14,719 Speaker 2: Don't bring me. 970 00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:17,160 Speaker 1: I don't the child. I'm not choosing the child. The 971 00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:20,919 Speaker 1: child will choose mere correct. So I'm learning so much 972 00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,879 Speaker 1: of how I want to raise my children and empower them, 973 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:29,960 Speaker 1: knowing their birth parents love them so much that they 974 00:49:30,080 --> 00:49:32,640 Speaker 1: rather give them a better life, and now they have 975 00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:34,520 Speaker 1: a choice what they want to do with that. 976 00:49:35,320 --> 00:49:38,839 Speaker 2: Beautiful, beautiful and like it wouldn't it be great if 977 00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:41,000 Speaker 2: everyone did that every wouldn't it be great? 978 00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:41,200 Speaker 1: Hard? 979 00:49:42,160 --> 00:49:45,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, but we've been in this this cycle. 980 00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:47,480 Speaker 2: But I love the fact that you see that. And 981 00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:49,600 Speaker 2: if you're raising them like that, imagine what kind of 982 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,160 Speaker 2: adults they'll be. And yes, life will give them their 983 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:55,520 Speaker 2: different challenges, but imagine at their core what type of 984 00:49:55,680 --> 00:50:01,719 Speaker 2: adults they will be. I think I think one of 985 00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:03,440 Speaker 2: the things that I have a hard time with when 986 00:50:03,440 --> 00:50:07,000 Speaker 2: I and and this sounds like yes, and but I 987 00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:09,360 Speaker 2: have throughout my entire career when we talk about women 988 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,880 Speaker 2: and how I've had to battle with women and that 989 00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:15,719 Speaker 2: weren't good humans and they're all they come, they come 990 00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,319 Speaker 2: in all different shape sizes than colors, but primarily it's 991 00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:23,040 Speaker 2: been white women. I've had such an uncomfortable work relationship 992 00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:27,320 Speaker 2: with white women that it made me so distrustful of them. 993 00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:31,319 Speaker 2: But the beauty, I think is that I was I'm 994 00:50:31,320 --> 00:50:33,120 Speaker 2: still able to see people as who they are, no 995 00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:35,920 Speaker 2: matter what their color is. So when I talked when 996 00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:37,680 Speaker 2: I like I love you, you're the best, I don't 997 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:42,759 Speaker 2: even say white women. I don't because I see a 998 00:50:42,800 --> 00:50:46,600 Speaker 2: good person and I know your heart, and so I 999 00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:51,120 Speaker 2: have been I'm exercising my way out of judging a 1000 00:50:51,160 --> 00:50:54,800 Speaker 2: white woman in the workspace. Thank you for just or Sofia, 1001 00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,440 Speaker 2: just Sofia's look. I've been a fan of your girl 1002 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:01,000 Speaker 2: friends before I even knew you. You were before you 1003 00:51:01,040 --> 00:51:03,400 Speaker 2: all even got together. But I loved how she showed 1004 00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:05,160 Speaker 2: up and she wanted to do the work, and she 1005 00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:07,160 Speaker 2: just has that heart. And I was like, I love this, 1006 00:51:07,440 --> 00:51:10,920 Speaker 2: I love this, I receive this, and where can we 1007 00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,319 Speaker 2: find more of this? How do we put all of 1008 00:51:13,360 --> 00:51:15,960 Speaker 2: that in the world right now? And I think of 1009 00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:19,200 Speaker 2: you raising these beautiful babies who see no color, who 1010 00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:22,480 Speaker 2: will be great humans, and that gives me hope, Like 1011 00:51:22,520 --> 00:51:24,719 Speaker 2: that gives me hope in this shitty ass world. 1012 00:51:24,840 --> 00:51:27,240 Speaker 1: But you just nailed it. You have to be open 1013 00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:32,279 Speaker 1: to receive. Yeah, Like that's it, That's it I have. 1014 00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,200 Speaker 1: And trust me, it took a long time to get here. 1015 00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:40,120 Speaker 1: I was open enough to receive the love I deserved. Mmmm, 1016 00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,080 Speaker 1: and she fell right into my lap. And I am 1017 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:45,480 Speaker 1: not apologizing for that to anyone. 1018 00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:48,760 Speaker 2: I'm at a phase in my life where I'm really, truly, 1019 00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,000 Speaker 2: really truly working on everything that I know. That limits 1020 00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:57,600 Speaker 2: my abundance, limits my growth, limits my ability to connect, 1021 00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:02,440 Speaker 2: and that requires me to be quiet sometimes, like you 1022 00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,439 Speaker 2: sit in quiet spaces, which I hate the ad D kicks. Yeah, 1023 00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:10,480 Speaker 2: it also requires me to reveal myself like you are 1024 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:14,160 Speaker 2: a you are a seer, and so to sit across 1025 00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:17,760 Speaker 2: from you in this lovely show wide open, you see people. 1026 00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:20,839 Speaker 2: So if they come here and they pretend like you 1027 00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:23,920 Speaker 2: can't see through them, it's going to be really uncomfortable 1028 00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,400 Speaker 2: for them, and it's gonna make me Like I was, 1029 00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:27,919 Speaker 2: like moving my hands. I was like, oh, she's such 1030 00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:29,879 Speaker 2: a seer, Like, I gotta I gotta bring my whole 1031 00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:33,960 Speaker 2: heart today, I gotta tell truth for the f was like. 1032 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:41,640 Speaker 1: Fuck, I know I'm going. 1033 00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,440 Speaker 2: Through no and I and I in good for you 1034 00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:46,320 Speaker 2: because it's healing. Good for you. 1035 00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:50,800 Speaker 1: Thanks carry. I'll tell you what. That is the greatest 1036 00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:55,480 Speaker 1: gift you'll ever give to yourself because you receiving and 1037 00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:58,879 Speaker 1: you being open and vulnerable. You never know who's gonna 1038 00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:02,440 Speaker 1: knock on your door, you know what I mean? Like 1039 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,960 Speaker 1: the greatest thing happened to me a year ago and 1040 00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,360 Speaker 1: the worst timing of my life. But I was still 1041 00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:12,400 Speaker 1: willing to be open and receive it, even though in 1042 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:14,160 Speaker 1: moments I didn't think I deserved it. 1043 00:53:14,239 --> 00:53:17,560 Speaker 2: Amen. Oh gosh, I love that. Amen is everything. Yeah. 1044 00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:23,000 Speaker 1: Just I really feel that this version of yourself and 1045 00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:26,399 Speaker 1: who you're bringing so hard, what you put out is 1046 00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:30,640 Speaker 1: exactly what you attract, honey, And you are a good, smart, 1047 00:53:30,840 --> 00:53:34,399 Speaker 1: beautiful human who deserves the world and be open to it. Yeah, 1048 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,879 Speaker 1: and O and receive the hell out of it. 1049 00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:39,000 Speaker 2: I receive it. 1050 00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:42,239 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on this show. You 1051 00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:46,080 Speaker 1: have your own podcast. Please tell the listeners where to 1052 00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:48,120 Speaker 1: find you what. It's about what you're doing. 1053 00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:48,680 Speaker 2: It's great. 1054 00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,120 Speaker 1: Yes, I want I mean not to I just want 1055 00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:54,080 Speaker 1: to tie it on a perfect bow about what you're 1056 00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:54,799 Speaker 1: doing right now. 1057 00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,760 Speaker 2: Naked Sports. It meets at the intersection of sports culture 1058 00:53:58,840 --> 00:54:01,800 Speaker 2: and politics at the beginning of the season, which is 1059 00:54:01,880 --> 00:54:03,960 Speaker 2: up available right now. I did them making of a 1060 00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:07,279 Speaker 2: rivalry Caitlin Clark versus Angel Reese, but it was about 1061 00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,960 Speaker 2: how these two supernovas have really, for whatever reason, been 1062 00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:14,480 Speaker 2: chosen to put women's sports on the map. They have 1063 00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:17,160 Speaker 2: been chosen. It is their time. We don't know how 1064 00:54:17,200 --> 00:54:19,719 Speaker 2: it happened, but it has happened, and people are paying 1065 00:54:19,719 --> 00:54:22,480 Speaker 2: attention to the WNBA and women's sports in general in 1066 00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,600 Speaker 2: a way in which I have never seen before. They're 1067 00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:27,440 Speaker 2: buying WNBA teams that are valued at two hundred million 1068 00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:31,040 Speaker 2: starting And it has everything to do with one Kaitlin Clark, 1069 00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:33,799 Speaker 2: because of the way she's an excellent basketball player, but 1070 00:54:33,840 --> 00:54:36,800 Speaker 2: the way she plays the game. But the rivalry got interesting, 1071 00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:40,040 Speaker 2: or her story became more interesting when Angel Rees came in. 1072 00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:44,160 Speaker 2: You need a foe, people say, Larry Bird, Magic Johnston, 1073 00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:47,520 Speaker 2: you need a foil. You need somebody to create this 1074 00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,719 Speaker 2: inertia because I'm paying attention. You had that when you 1075 00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:54,120 Speaker 2: were playing, and there's storylines, and so now everyone's locked in. 1076 00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:57,080 Speaker 2: And I just talked about what it means for these 1077 00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,600 Speaker 2: two women. But I also don't lie from the fact 1078 00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,520 Speaker 2: that it is is literally black versus white. It talks 1079 00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:05,480 Speaker 2: about what America is made of. It talks about how 1080 00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:07,920 Speaker 2: some people are using Caitlin Clark to co op their 1081 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:12,759 Speaker 2: own story slash narrative. And Angel was always going to 1082 00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:14,520 Speaker 2: be a villain just because she was a tall black girl. 1083 00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:16,880 Speaker 2: She didn't have a choice. She plays basketball and she 1084 00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:20,319 Speaker 2: talks shit that's not allowed, which right, but that's not 1085 00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:23,600 Speaker 2: allowed in this world. And these two ladies are changing 1086 00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,319 Speaker 2: the way we consume sports because it's okay now to 1087 00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,439 Speaker 2: talk shit, It's okay now to get in your face. 1088 00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:30,640 Speaker 2: Y'all been doing it from you as an athlete, has 1089 00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:32,680 Speaker 2: been doing it from day one. We should be allowed 1090 00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:36,200 Speaker 2: to be athletes first, then women next. Don't judge me 1091 00:55:36,760 --> 00:55:39,640 Speaker 2: for doing the same thing you applaud men for. You 1092 00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:42,080 Speaker 2: love a good rivalry with men. You love when Lebron 1093 00:55:42,120 --> 00:55:44,480 Speaker 2: talks trash. You love when you know Dreymond gets in 1094 00:55:44,520 --> 00:55:46,200 Speaker 2: someone's face. Why is this all of a sudden, so 1095 00:55:46,239 --> 00:55:50,400 Speaker 2: damn offensive now and then from that point on we 1096 00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:54,880 Speaker 2: have been able to take culture and politics and intersect 1097 00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:58,600 Speaker 2: them in every way. So the first few six episodes 1098 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:01,120 Speaker 2: were about those two and then everything now on is 1099 00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:03,920 Speaker 2: just about being naked and talking about sports, whether it 1100 00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:07,680 Speaker 2: be Jerry Jones and his history and what he's doing 1101 00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,600 Speaker 2: with his team, America's team, and what he actually represents 1102 00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:14,000 Speaker 2: as an eighty six year old white man owning a 1103 00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:17,320 Speaker 2: being a billionaire, being very progressive, but having a very 1104 00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:21,719 Speaker 2: interesting past or it could be. We talked about the 1105 00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:24,040 Speaker 2: election and what it looked like and what it means 1106 00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:28,279 Speaker 2: for black women. I did a after the election. I 1107 00:56:28,320 --> 00:56:32,560 Speaker 2: did a love letter to black women because they, you know, 1108 00:56:33,680 --> 00:56:37,120 Speaker 2: ninety two percent voted for Kamala Harris and for many 1109 00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:41,160 Speaker 2: reasons people can identify with. But it felt very personal. 1110 00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,040 Speaker 2: It felt like it was a referendum on black women. 1111 00:56:44,160 --> 00:56:47,719 Speaker 2: It felt like you didn't want black women to be 1112 00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:49,799 Speaker 2: a part of this society. Yet we show up all 1113 00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:51,560 Speaker 2: the time and we care and we care and we 1114 00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:53,279 Speaker 2: love and we care and we love and we care, 1115 00:56:53,320 --> 00:56:55,440 Speaker 2: and it's been that way since the beginning of time, right, 1116 00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,680 Speaker 2: and so I just wanted to send this love letter 1117 00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:02,120 Speaker 2: out these women to say you were loved, you are 1118 00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:07,640 Speaker 2: seeing you are valued. Take your rest, but come back 1119 00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:09,239 Speaker 2: better Tomorrow. We ride again. 1120 00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:10,960 Speaker 1: Tomorrow. Work does not stop. 1121 00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:12,080 Speaker 2: The work does not stop. 1122 00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:14,400 Speaker 1: Well, thanks so much for being here, Carrie. 1123 00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:15,640 Speaker 2: I love you so much for. 1124 00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:17,360 Speaker 1: So vulnerable and open. 1125 00:57:17,840 --> 00:57:20,760 Speaker 2: Because it's not easy. Heart. 1126 00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:25,000 Speaker 1: You can take a deep breath, but just know a 1127 00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:28,280 Speaker 1: lay a laya, laya lay I love you too. 1128 00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,120 Speaker 2: I love you too. Let me drink more. 1129 00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:35,280 Speaker 1: Ah, I'll fill you up, Honny. Thanks everyone. Wide Open 1130 00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:39,320 Speaker 1: with Ashland Harris is an iHeart women's sports production. You 1131 00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:43,120 Speaker 1: can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 1132 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:47,960 Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca, Corell, 1133 00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:54,600 Speaker 1: Emily Maronov, and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello. 1134 00:57:54,960 --> 00:57:59,920 Speaker 1: Our executive producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. 1135 00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,959 Speaker 1: Our editors are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder and I'm 1136 00:58:04,000 --> 00:58:07,520 Speaker 1: your host, Ashlyn Harris