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Speaker 1: We rarely do this on the show because we have

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Speaker 1: listeners everywhere, all across the country and around the globe,

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Speaker 1: so we tend to edit out any local references from calls. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's further benefit because a lot of people they wouldn't

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Speaker 1: know what the hell they were talking about. But this

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Speaker 1: call is different. We're going deep into Florida. That's right.

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Speaker 1: It's a Florida tap with a woman who has an

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Speaker 1: Etsy business where she collects coconuts, paints them, and then

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Speaker 1: sells them online.

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Speaker 2: Normal Florida stuff.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, and one of our listeners told us that she

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Speaker 1: does this and said, please mess with her big time.

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Speaker 1: So that's gonna be Brooks job in your phone tap

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Speaker 1: right now?

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Speaker 3: It's another.

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Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, I'm looking for Lauren k.

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Speaker 3: This is she? Who's this?

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Speaker 2: It's Valerie Shitsu from the Florida Wildlife Commission. Okay, are

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Speaker 2: a tough person to get a hold of. I've actually

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Speaker 2: come by your house a few times, but no one's

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Speaker 2: ever home.

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Speaker 3: How do you know where I live? And why are

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Speaker 3: you coming to my house?

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Speaker 2: Are you evading us?

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Speaker 3: Why would I evade you? What are you talking about?

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Speaker 3: What do you want?

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Speaker 2: Figured? You played dumb? Well, it's come to our attention

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Speaker 2: that you've been going around collecting coconuts, and wow, so

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Speaker 2: you admit it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, what's the problem with that? They're coconuts? That it's

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Speaker 3: falling on the ground.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I had no idea it was gonna be like this.

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Speaker 3: So am I in trouble? Speaking of rotting coconuts off

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Speaker 3: the floor. What's the problem?

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Speaker 2: Okay, you're gonna downplay it? I see. Yeah, you are

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Speaker 2: in trouble. You're in big trouble. In fact. Okay, you're

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Speaker 2: laughing at this like it's nothing. Most people know this,

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Speaker 2: and hopefully you're not one of those that pretends to

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Speaker 2: act dumb.

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Speaker 3: I'm not dumb at all. Believe me. I've been doing

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Speaker 3: this for years. There's no problem with collecting rotting coconuts

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Speaker 3: off the floor.

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Speaker 2: Then you should know that you just violated an endangered

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Speaker 2: species law here in Florida.

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Speaker 3: Coconuts are an endangered species. What are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, duh, coconuts aren't animals? Lady? Talking about the rats

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Speaker 2: that eat the coconuts?

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Speaker 3: What rats are endangered?

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Speaker 2: Manates, rats and bottled nosed dolphins.

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Speaker 3: Are You're all on the list?

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Speaker 2: Look it up?

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Speaker 3: Are rats and bottom of dolphins? Those go together in

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Speaker 3: a category. What are you talking about?

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Speaker 2: You knowingly violated Florida law by taking away the rats

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Speaker 2: natural food supply of rotting coconuts.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no I don't know if endangered rats. Yes,

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Speaker 3: there's no endangered rats that I'm aware of.

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Speaker 2: Really, I don't know what your situation is. But where

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Speaker 2: I come from, and I've lived here a long time,

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Speaker 2: rats are revered. In fact, we call them the ground

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Speaker 2: eagles of the sewer.

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Speaker 3: I don't care what they're called, their rats, and if

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Speaker 3: they really are protective, they shouldn't be.

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Speaker 2: I see you're one of them, all right, one of them.

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Speaker 2: Let me ask you this, actually, let me ask you this.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever cuddled the rat? Oh?

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Speaker 3: Is that? That's disgusting? They're insanitary?

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Speaker 2: I have?

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Speaker 3: In fact, of course you have. That explained a lot.

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Speaker 2: In fact, I've got a dozen at my home and

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Speaker 2: we watch Wheel of Fortune every night, just snuggle up together.

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Speaker 3: Why am I not surprised to hear that?

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Speaker 2: And it makes me angry? Deep deep haatron Oh you

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Speaker 2: to find out someone is taking away my baby's food source?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, how would you like it if I

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Speaker 2: starve your baby?

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Speaker 3: What are you talking about? That is not the same thing.

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Speaker 2: It hurts. It hurts, doesn't it.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't hurt me. This is stupid.

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Speaker 2: What are you even doing with these coconuts?

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Speaker 3: Well, for your information, I'm an artist and I paint

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Speaker 3: them and I sell them on Etsy and it does

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Speaker 3: very well, thank you very much.

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Speaker 2: What you just admitted that you're stealing the food supply

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Speaker 2: from tidy little rattlings and selling it illegally over the internet.

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Speaker 3: I'm stealing anything. I'm crarecting coconuts that fall on the ground,

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Speaker 3: which many.

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Speaker 2: People just need to take a note here, because we're

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Speaker 2: gonna be tacking on commercial trafficking charges as well, that's

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Speaker 2: for sure.

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Speaker 3: You're me a freaking break lady. You don't know what

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Speaker 3: you're doing.

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Speaker 2: We're just gonna get to the nitty gritty here and

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna find you actually what, Yeah, find me yep.

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Speaker 2: I have all the evidence I need and that fine

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Speaker 2: will be ten thousand dollars.

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Speaker 3: Are you joking ten thousand dollars for picking up rotten coconuts?

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Speaker 2: Well, it's actually your lucky day because it's either that

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Speaker 2: ten thousand dollars fine or eight hundred hours of mandatory

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Speaker 2: community service.

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Speaker 3: What picking up tracks now what I'm doing already with

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Speaker 3: your huge yuts.

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Speaker 2: No, you'll be rehabilitating rats at the Everglade Rodent Rehabilitation Center.

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Speaker 2: Is that? Yeah? Duh? Okay, duh, this is not a

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Speaker 2: big deal.

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Speaker 3: Everybody does this.

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Speaker 2: That's where it starts, taking coconuts from rats. Next thing,

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Speaker 2: you know, people will be calling for the public execution

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Speaker 2: of Mickey Mouse. Is that what you want?

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Speaker 3: Taking coconuts from a rats?

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Speaker 2: Is that?

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Speaker 3: Really? That's what you're calling this.

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Speaker 2: That's what it is. And I believe it, and your

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Speaker 2: friend Josie believes it, and everybody here at this radio

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Speaker 2: station where you just got set up for a prank

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Speaker 2: phone call believes it as well.

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Speaker 3: Are you serious?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? This is actually Brook for the radio station. Brooke

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Speaker 2: Jeffrey in the Morning.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, that was evil.

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Speaker 2: You can blame Josie, she said. Apparently your coconut Etsy

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Speaker 2: page is really taking off. But I want to ask

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Speaker 2: at the expense of what and who's life?

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Speaker 3: Should I say? How the rest?

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Speaker 2: You are evil?

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Speaker 3: Wake Up?

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Speaker 2: Every morning was phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties.

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Speaker 2: Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning