Speaker 1: Judy Sweeten, Andrea Barbera.
Speaker 2: I was wondering who was going to start it, you
Speaker 2: or me.
Speaker 1: Well, it's almost like a vocal warm up, you know,
Speaker 1: it really is.
Speaker 3: And what I find is sometimes I should do a
Speaker 3: vocal warm up before the vocal warm up because I
Speaker 3: try and go for a little nah, and it just.
Speaker 2: It's not happening.
Speaker 1: You're going through puberty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's with the rain and everything today and
Speaker 2: the Yeah, it's just it's a lot. It's a lot
Speaker 2: of the holidays.
Speaker 1: Everything may agoraphobia is in full effect. I don't want
Speaker 1: to go. I don't want to leave the house and
Speaker 1: deal with the traffic. The holiday traffic.
Speaker 3: Was I was at the mall yesterday. It wasn't too terrible.
Speaker 3: It wasn't too terrible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I'm impressed you went. I won't go within
Speaker 1: a three mile radius.
Speaker 3: Well it's middle of the day on like Monday. Well, yeah,
Speaker 3: it was Monday, so yeah, it definitely was good.
Speaker 2: Uh oh yeah.
Speaker 3: And this, well, this episode's airing after all this, so
Speaker 3: nobody cares. Nobody cares what we were doing over.
Speaker 2: The holidays weeks ago. We've moved back.
Speaker 3: In fact, no one wants to hear us mention the holidays,
Speaker 3: they're so over it.
Speaker 2: We're a week into January now.
Speaker 3: They're like, please, let us just not think about that
Speaker 3: until the end of next year. I should say right
Speaker 3: now how many days are left till Christmas?
Speaker 1: But no, no, no, I.
Speaker 3: Wouldn't do I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do it
Speaker 3: because I don't I would feel bad.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, Well, the stores have already moved on to
Speaker 1: probably Saint Patrick's Day at this point, right right.
Speaker 3: It's they've got uh it's bathing suit season now, so
Speaker 3: all of the bikinis are out. You better get him
Speaker 3: now before they go on sale in February. So, oh
Speaker 3: dear it just actually the kids ask me, uh Be
Speaker 3: asked me. She was like, doesn't it just feel like
Speaker 3: like it's only been like two years, Like it doesn't
Speaker 3: feel like we're heading into twenty twenty four. She's like,
Speaker 3: it's true that time really goes faster the older you get.
Speaker 3: And I just wanted to look at her and be like,
Speaker 3: you have no idea. If you think it's going fast now,
Speaker 3: you literally have no idea how fast it's going to
Speaker 3: go by the time you're my.
Speaker 1: Age, no clue no, it's so true. It goes way
Speaker 1: too fast, and then you forget. You forget things at
Speaker 1: a fast rate as.
Speaker 3: Well, and I forget things already, so I don't need
Speaker 3: any help forgetting. But one thing I have not forgotten
Speaker 3: is that we are now in season two.
Speaker 1: I'm blown away that we made it through season one
Speaker 1: and so I didn't screw up too badly yet.
Speaker 3: I'm in only the outros, only the outros, and that's
Speaker 3: pretty good. It's like I can hold it together just
Speaker 3: long enough to get to the end, and then my
Speaker 3: brain just goes whoa.
Speaker 1: Like I'm done right, but your brain is on hiatus.
Speaker 3: I can't believe we're into the second season already. I
Speaker 3: gotta say, though, how did you feel about the ending
Speaker 3: of season one? Maybe I'm just too used to like
Speaker 3: modern television and how like you have to make people
Speaker 3: be like, oh my god, what's going to happen in
Speaker 3: order to come back for the next season. And I
Speaker 3: feel like it used to be a little more like
Speaker 3: you could just have a show and it would be done,
Speaker 3: and then you'd wait, and you'd wait till it came back,
Speaker 3: or you'd see the next one.
Speaker 2: I just wondered how you.
Speaker 3: Felt like we left things season one of Full House like,
Speaker 3: was it, Oh my god, I've got to come back
Speaker 3: and see what the Tanners are doing?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: I mean, I love the season overall, but as far
Speaker 1: as that final episode, it didn't really feel like a
Speaker 1: final episode for a season. I almost feel like the
Speaker 1: season should have ended with the seven Month Itch Part two,
Speaker 1: because that was definitely right that Jesse come back or not.
Speaker 3: I wonder if they maybe wanted it to be, if
Speaker 3: maybe that was what they wanted to I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, Yeah, but it did.
Speaker 2: It did. I was like, Oh, I like, what's the
Speaker 2: thing that keeps you coming back? But I guess, like.
Speaker 3: I said, it's also where we've sort of become jaded
Speaker 3: in our television watching, like now we expect, we expect
Speaker 3: the cliffhanger, the cliffhanger something to you know, because you
Speaker 3: it's just competing for your attention. But but overall, I
Speaker 3: thought season one was great. I love watching sort of
Speaker 3: where everyone has wound up and seeing where we're going now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's it's so cool to see how much
Speaker 1: we've all aged in this. It was what like a
Speaker 1: five month hiatus between seasons.
Speaker 2: Usually so usually it wasn't that.
Speaker 3: Usually it was like three months, I think because we
Speaker 3: worked like nine eight, like eight and a half nine
Speaker 3: months out of the year, and then it was like
Speaker 3: we'd have kind of usually like April through like like
Speaker 3: July off. Well, I think we would usually come back
Speaker 3: right after fourth of July, wasn't it. Yeah, I feel
Speaker 3: like like like I feel like we had the barbecues
Speaker 3: at John's house around like July ish and then we'd
Speaker 3: all be back to But but I did I want
Speaker 3: My first note was we all have just back from
Speaker 3: hiatus hair and looks, which basically some of our hair
Speaker 3: is longer, some of it's shorter. Mine is lighter, Candice
Speaker 3: is more permed. I definitely was out in the backyards
Speaker 3: in the pool because I was way I was very
Speaker 3: tan and my hair was very blonde. And that was
Speaker 3: always the thing they had to tell me in between
Speaker 3: like weeks, was don't go out in the sun because
Speaker 3: I just tanned really tan so easily.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember that.
Speaker 2: But yes, we had hiatus hair.
Speaker 3: It was because by the end the last episode of
Speaker 3: season one, those men needed a haircut, all of them.
Speaker 3: I can see they it was it was long, it
Speaker 3: was a lot. It was to Gabes, was longer than
Speaker 3: I've ever seen it the whole season.
Speaker 1: Yes, well that's the thing.
Speaker 3: Had very mill Gibson. Uh uh, what's that movie? The
Speaker 3: eighties cop?
Speaker 2: What like that? Just that hair?
Speaker 1: Oh not die Hard? No, what is it now?
Speaker 2: The other?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but anyway, it's the melody of the hair.
Speaker 3: It was a really it was. It was Dave really
Speaker 3: was rocking some hair.
Speaker 1: He had quite a large mullet, quite a large mullet.
Speaker 1: And and it's it's this is very timely because it's
Speaker 1: time for Jesse to get rid of the mullet.
Speaker 2: To get rid of the mullet.
Speaker 3: And this this is actually one of my favorite episodes.
Speaker 2: I love this episode.
Speaker 3: I forgot it was the season two opener for the
Speaker 3: reason I thought it came in season one, Like I
Speaker 3: kept expecting it in season one. I thought it was
Speaker 3: tied in with when Jesse leaves. I thought it had
Speaker 3: to do with the haircut in the arm and then
Speaker 3: he broke his arm when he was out there.
Speaker 2: What I'm mad?
Speaker 1: Right, he was feelings so right right right in it.
Speaker 3: Out on the road and yeah again Jesse and his
Speaker 3: feeling just just feeling Jesse and his feelings are having problems,
Speaker 3: and now he broke his arms.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what you get for taking it out A.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm getting ahead of myself, so we haven't. We're
Speaker 3: let's set it up blowing surprises.
Speaker 1: But spoiler alert thirty six years later, right, yeah.
Speaker 3: As Jesse cuts his hair and and breaks his arms.
Speaker 3: But yeah, let's get let's get into our official let's
Speaker 3: official two.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't need to be screwing it up from the time.
Speaker 1: I'm not screaming. I don't screw up my intro. Okay,
Speaker 1: because you can screw up your outro, but.
Speaker 2: I am not going to Oh right now, those are
Speaker 2: big words. Right now.
Speaker 3: Then them's fighting words, and that's what I'm saying. I'm
Speaker 3: not going to screw it up today.
Speaker 1: Okay. Forty five minutes from now, we're going to find
Speaker 1: out that it's going to come true or not. Oh boy,
Speaker 1: Welcome back to how Rude Tannerito's I'm Andrea Barber and
Speaker 1: I'm Jody Sweeten, and today we are discussing season two,
Speaker 1: episode one, called Cutting It Close. It originally aired on
Speaker 1: October fourteenth, nineteen eighty eight, and it goes a little
Speaker 1: something like this, Stephanie forces Jesse to play beauty parlor
Speaker 1: with her, and she accidentally cuts off a hunk of
Speaker 1: his hair, so he is forced to go to his
Speaker 1: hairdresser to repair the damage. These are high stakes here
Speaker 1: because we all know how much Jesse loves his hair.
Speaker 2: The hair, not the hair, not the hair.
Speaker 1: Hunh. This episode was directed by Joels Wick and it
Speaker 1: was written by none other than Jeff Franklin. We have
Speaker 1: one guest star this week, Charlie Spradlean as Ronda, and
Speaker 1: she has had some guest appearances in David Lynch's Wild
Speaker 1: at Heart also Twin Peaks, and she was a B
Speaker 1: movie horror star in films like puppet Master two and Meridian,
Speaker 1: Kiss of the Beast.
Speaker 3: Ooh yeah, all right, didn't I even mention puppet Master
Speaker 3: in the show we did with Dave?
Speaker 2: Oh did? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think you did.
Speaker 3: It's weird, spooky, spooky and also, uh, another woman with
Speaker 3: an a name.
Speaker 1: Ronda. Oh geez, that's okay. We're gonna we gotta ask
Speaker 1: Jeff about this. He's gonna be on the show in
Speaker 1: a few weeks, so this is definitely timely. Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: so we open, we have our first cold open.
Speaker 2: We have our first teaser, but we have a teaser,
Speaker 2: but which right?
Speaker 3: Which now I believe they call cold opens, but back
Speaker 3: then we call them teasers. But what's up with this
Speaker 3: weird little graphic thing that pops in?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And I was it was like startling.
Speaker 1: It was startling. It was like it was like a yeah,
Speaker 1: like a not almost like a cartoonish graphic of the
Speaker 1: bridge and the the full house logo. And I think
Speaker 1: that's because we're starting we're starting to do teasers cold
Speaker 1: opens now, so it's like, Okay, this is a house,
Speaker 1: here's your cold open. The opening credits.
Speaker 3: Shows always I felt like that wasn't a thing that
Speaker 3: shows did, but they started doing them, and that was
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Ye, I don't the graph it was it was weird.
Speaker 3: I wasn't quite sure, but it felt super nostalgic, and
Speaker 3: it felt like something that I designed in my seventh
Speaker 3: grade computer science class, where you like learned on floppy
Speaker 3: discs how to like write basic code on those right
Speaker 3: on those like those gigantic monitors with like the little
Speaker 3: green doss you know thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's basically what that cold open that's.
Speaker 1: That's that's what that is is exactly super.
Speaker 2: Pixelated height of technology.
Speaker 1: It's very eighties. It's very eighties. But yeah, so this
Speaker 1: is the start of cold opens, which is this is okay,
Speaker 1: So a cold open or a teaser is just a
Speaker 1: short little scene that sometimes has to do with the
Speaker 1: episode but oftentimes doesn't. It's just it's literally a teaser.
Speaker 1: It teases you know, these are our characters. This is
Speaker 1: a fun way to get the audience engaged before we
Speaker 1: roll the opening credits. Yeah, so this cold open opens
Speaker 1: with Joey holding Michelle, who is visibly older at this point.
Speaker 1: She's full of hair, a lot more hair, a lot
Speaker 1: more expressions.
Speaker 2: Like she's definitely oh my gosh, a.
Speaker 1: Lot more teeth, a lot more teeth, yeah, a.
Speaker 2: Lot more teeth. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Joey says she's ready this time, and he summons
Speaker 1: the entire family into the living room. There is this
Speaker 1: sense of urgency. He announces that Michelle is going to
Speaker 1: try again, and everyone groans. Steph tells him she's just
Speaker 1: gonna do it to us again, and Joey assures them
Speaker 1: that Michelle is psyched. Jesse agrees that they can give
Speaker 1: the little ankle biter one more try. We don't know
Speaker 1: what this thing is. But that's the teaser part of
Speaker 1: this teaser. What is Michelle going to do? So they
Speaker 1: all grab hands, they start doing ring around the rosie,
Speaker 1: and once everyone falls down, Michelle's stays standing, sticking her
Speaker 1: tongue out at the rest of the family. DJ admits
Speaker 1: that kid's got a real mean streak. So this was
Speaker 1: like a new skill that Michelle had learned right around
Speaker 1: the rosy.
Speaker 2: Very dark history. Really, do you know what it is about?
Speaker 1: No, it's about the black plag It's about the plague.
Speaker 3: Ring around, yeah, yeah, ring around the rosy. Pocket full
Speaker 3: of posy you would put posey was a type of
Speaker 3: flower in your like in your pocket. They thought it
Speaker 3: wore it would ward away. Uh, the black plag and
Speaker 3: ring around the rosy you would get like rosy cheeks,
Speaker 3: but you could get these little rings around certain things
Speaker 3: and then pocket philloposy ashes ashes. We all fall down
Speaker 3: because everyone was dying.
Speaker 2: What how did you know? Of course you know that.
Speaker 3: I don't know why or how I knew it or
Speaker 3: what it's that's horrifying. Yeah, but it's a song, right, well,
Speaker 3: I mean, you know the you got the baby in
Speaker 3: the tree song.
Speaker 2: We got the ring around the rosy song.
Speaker 1: Why are these why are they teaching this in nursery school? Like,
Speaker 1: why is it the thing very that's dark and dark? Wow?
Speaker 2: Okay, well this is this has started in something. She
Speaker 2: was like, look, I'm not trying to kill you guys off,
Speaker 2: just say wow.
Speaker 1: Okay. So this took a turn, but that leads us
Speaker 1: into these slightly new opening credits. Wooo okay, so most
Speaker 1: of these opening credits are the same as season one,
Speaker 1: but the kids, you guys.
Speaker 3: Haven't always got updated every ones every year because we change.
Speaker 1: Because you changed so much. That's right, You grow your taller,
Speaker 1: your hair is different, your tanner, the tanner. So Candae
Speaker 1: has showing off a cool sweater. Jody, you're walking out
Speaker 1: the front door with your backpack, lunch pail, and Mary,
Speaker 1: Kate and Ashley finally have their opening title card. I'm
Speaker 1: very excited for them of one of them in a
Speaker 1: shopping cart, super super cute, very exciting. So yes, and
Speaker 1: I'm very interested to see what changes in the next
Speaker 1: episode because I believe a lot of this footage from
Speaker 1: the opening credits is the same as season one. Because
Speaker 1: Jeff didn't want.
Speaker 2: To give away the hair hair so that's true. So
Speaker 2: it might be all new opening credits for season two.
Speaker 1: We'll see you know, because Jesse Jesse still has the
Speaker 1: mullet in this in this opening credit, So stay tuned.
Speaker 1: So we uh, we opened, well, we we've already opened
Speaker 1: the show. We continue the show in Jesse's room, where
Speaker 1: Jesse is working on some new rock star moves. Stephanie
Speaker 1: walks in, sporting a smock and she turns off his amp.
Speaker 1: Jesse hops back over to her and says, first roll
Speaker 1: of rock and roll. Never cut a guy's power off
Speaker 1: when he's duck walking. Yeah, did you know this duck walking?
Speaker 1: I've never heard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like a rock and roll thing.
Speaker 3: I I feel like it was a sort of a
Speaker 3: van Halen esque like of the you know, eighties hair band,
Speaker 3: and it was a thing. But I think it started
Speaker 3: even earlier than that, Like you know, Scot like Chuck
Speaker 3: Berry probably was duck walking.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It looks very uh, it looks very.
Speaker 2: Weird and rather uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: It's very awkward. I mean, John's forming it well, but
Speaker 1: it's it's still yeah, just it doesn't.
Speaker 2: I actually wrote down I was like, did cool people
Speaker 2: ever duck walk? But yeah, I'm gonna go with no.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: And now and now, duck walking is more of like
Speaker 3: a drag show thing, and it's more voguing and you're
Speaker 3: down on the ground, and it has nothing to do
Speaker 3: with playing guitar or doing any sort of movement like that, So.
Speaker 1: Nothing to do with ducks.
Speaker 3: I would say the drag show duck walking would give
Speaker 3: you more of an impression of a duck because you're
Speaker 3: sort of crouched down.
Speaker 2: While doing it. But guitar duck walking is very odd,
Speaker 2: very odd.
Speaker 1: Anyways, Okay, moving on, but.
Speaker 2: But we know the rule now, which is never cut
Speaker 2: a guy's power off when he's duck walking, right, okay,
Speaker 2: rule number one.
Speaker 1: That's a rule to live by. Okay, right, So Stephanie apologizes,
Speaker 1: but she informs Jesse that he's late for his haircut
Speaker 1: appointment with mister Stephanie. Ooh, but Jesse doesn't want to
Speaker 1: play Yeah, very gender forward here, Yeah, yes, mister Stephanie.
Speaker 1: This is great. So Jesse doesn't want to play beauty parlor,
Speaker 1: but stephan he insists, yes he does. Here we go,
Speaker 1: I love this. They go back and forth. No he doesn't,
Speaker 1: Yes he does, and steph of course, cries.
Speaker 2: Yes, he does it wins every time.
Speaker 1: I like this bit, I enjoy it. I'm glad they
Speaker 1: brought it back for season two. Yep, Jesse tells her,
Speaker 1: you're six years old, you're in first grade. This fine,
Speaker 1: This phony crying routine and lip motif doesn't work anymore.
Speaker 1: She admits I knew this would happen someday. She walks
Speaker 1: over to the door and slumps down, giving him a
Speaker 1: big fake sigh. Jesse caves so dramatic ans. Jesse caves immediately,
Speaker 1: asking why am I such a sucker? Steph responds, because
Speaker 1: you love me, and Jesse agrees. Stephanie drags him into
Speaker 1: her beauty parlor also known as her bedroom. Joey is
Speaker 1: already in this beauty parlor with a hairnet on and
Speaker 1: freshly polished toes. He's reading a book. He's reading Horton,
Speaker 1: Here's a who.
Speaker 3: Very fabulous, fabulous the sus voice you prefer to say it.
Speaker 1: Jesse laughs at him, but Joey assures him that Stephanie
Speaker 1: isn't finished yet. Steph fake blow dries his hair and announces,
Speaker 1: thank goodness you came to me when you did. If
Speaker 1: you don't look good, I don't look good.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's true that we saw for the end
Speaker 2: of season one hair it was. Yeah, it needed some.
Speaker 1: Work, it needed some work. Yes, Joey advises her, You're
Speaker 1: gonna need a what weed whacker for that bush, pointing
Speaker 1: to Jesse's hair, and John clearly is wearing a wig
Speaker 1: in this scene.
Speaker 2: I wrote down.
Speaker 3: I wrote down that the real that the mullet wig
Speaker 3: was worse than the real mullet, and that is saying something.
Speaker 1: That is I don't know how it can get worse
Speaker 1: than the real mullet.
Speaker 3: But well, I also think, you know, wig technology was
Speaker 3: not what it is today, and so it was John
Speaker 3: had short hair and then they just put long hair
Speaker 3: over it, you know.
Speaker 1: Matter it's kind of like sticking out in the bag.
Speaker 1: I swear it changes lengths throughout this It.
Speaker 2: Does scene, and for sure does. Yeah.
Speaker 3: At times I was like, wow, that's long, and then
Speaker 3: I was like, what's not long? And then it was
Speaker 3: like like shoulder length.
Speaker 1: You know, there was no continuity with this week, that's
Speaker 1: for sure. Hey, it was the eighties. So Stephanie reveals
Speaker 1: a giant pair of scissors, which scares Jesse away.
Speaker 2: Edward scissorhands right, Jesse says, those are real scissors.
Speaker 1: Isn't this a pretend haircut? Stephanie tells him yes, but
Speaker 1: Jesse insists that she needs pretend scissors. Steph looks at
Speaker 1: her watch and tells him, mister, Stephanie does have other appointments,
Speaker 1: so they got to get a move on.
Speaker 2: Seriously.
Speaker 1: Jesse obliges, telling her to be very careful because, as
Speaker 1: we know, no one really cuts his hair except for Alejandro.
Speaker 2: Oh, the Great and fabulous Alejandro.
Speaker 1: So Stephanie starts to make small talk with her client,
Speaker 1: asking have you heard who Miss Piggy's been dating lately?
Speaker 1: Joey asks if he's able to watch the girls tonight
Speaker 1: because he wants to try his Roger Rabbit impression at
Speaker 1: the laugh machine. Jesse rolls his eyes, emphasizing, hey, it
Speaker 1: is Saturday night. Joey turns on the Roger Rabbit voice
Speaker 1: and begs, Oh, come on, Jess, please, I'm not doing
Speaker 1: that impressions. As Joey's doing his impressions, Stephanie is laughing.
Speaker 1: She's loving this, and without realizing it, she accidentally cuts
Speaker 1: a huge chunk of Jesse's hair off of his head.
Speaker 3: I remember that because I remember having to like have
Speaker 3: the scissors at the wig, and it was like, don't
Speaker 3: cut it before we're you know, because once you cut it,
Speaker 3: that's you cut the wig.
Speaker 2: And uh, yeah, I do remember.
Speaker 3: And I also was like, don't cut my fingers because
Speaker 3: I had to be like looking away when I did it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a lot of coordination for you.
Speaker 2: Oh my digit survived and uh and the joke worked.
Speaker 1: And John's head survived.
Speaker 2: All of this had survived. No one, Yeah worked.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, that is because you practice in rehearsal. You
Speaker 1: don't actually cut the hair in rehearsal, and so you
Speaker 1: have to wait until they actually roll roll cameras.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't be buying wigs.
Speaker 1: We were on a budget and we're only in so
Speaker 1: many wigs, so that was pretty obvious with that. So
Speaker 1: Stephanie says oops out loud, and Jesse's trying to figure
Speaker 1: out what happened. Dan.
Speaker 2: Never a sound you want to hear when someone's giving
Speaker 2: you a haircut.
Speaker 1: Never, Oops. It's the worst thing to say. Danny walks
Speaker 1: in with DJ and tells everyone breakfast is ready. We're
Speaker 1: having pan cuts instead of pancakes. DJ gasps, telling steph
Speaker 1: I can't believe you did that. Jesse questions steph as
Speaker 1: she pulls out a huge, long chunk of his hair,
Speaker 1: and Jesse whimpers.
Speaker 3: Pulled out a small animal off his head. Again, it
Speaker 3: was so not again it grew. It's like it's six
Speaker 3: inches in my hand. I was like, where did all
Speaker 3: of that hair come from?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was not the same hair that you cut
Speaker 1: off hair.
Speaker 2: It was a whole other wig in my hand was
Speaker 2: what it was.
Speaker 1: Uh. So Stephanie pleads have mercy. Jesse is upset. He
Speaker 1: runs out, and DJ says again, I can't believe you
Speaker 1: did that.
Speaker 2: I've spoken like a true sibling.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's she's not letting you live it down.
Speaker 2: You're wrong. So you did a bad Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we cut to the bathroom where Jesse is examining
Speaker 1: his hair with two handheld mirrors, looking horrified. Danny tries
Speaker 1: to assure him that it's just hair, but Jesse snaps back,
Speaker 1: telling Danny, your hair is just hair. My hair is
Speaker 1: in her hand. Oh. DJ repeats to Stephanie, I can't
Speaker 1: believe you did that. Jesse snatches his hair back from Stephanie,
Speaker 1: saying Alejandro may be able to sew it back on
Speaker 1: Danny yells after him, would you like me to pack
Speaker 1: it in some ice? And Joey laughs, adding maybe we
Speaker 1: can get Eric Estrada to be a hair donor.
Speaker 3: And for those of you that don't know who are
Speaker 3: too young, Eric Estrada was on a show called Chips
Speaker 3: and was known for having also fabulous hair.
Speaker 1: He did have fabulous hair. That's right, that's how that
Speaker 1: hurts me that some of our listeners don't know who
Speaker 1: Eric Astrata is. You're right though, it's a lot of
Speaker 1: our listeners probably don't know who Eric e Strada is everybody,
Speaker 1: nor have they.
Speaker 3: Ever seen a landline so you know, let's or anything
Speaker 3: in the in the nineteenth century.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so my poor heart here. Okay, So Stephanie
Speaker 1: tells Jesse she's sorry and he snaps back, so am
Speaker 1: I oh. DJ tells Steph again, I can't believe you
Speaker 1: did that, and Stephanie finally yells back, I can't believe
Speaker 1: you're still saying that. Seriously enough, just rubbing it in, DJ,
Speaker 1: come on. So back in Stephanie's room, Steph is packing
Speaker 1: up all of her toys, telling her dad that she's
Speaker 1: punishing herself. She tells her toys I'm sorry. I don't
Speaker 1: deserve to play with you anymore. She hands her doll
Speaker 1: Emily to her dad and solemnly announces goodbye. Fun.
Speaker 2: You know, I didn't remember Steph being this much of
Speaker 2: a martyr. First of all. Oh, I was like, girl, come.
Speaker 3: On, she's she feels terrible. She is, right, she is, like,
Speaker 3: I'm the worst person ever.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but also still not mister Bear.
Speaker 1: This would have been a great mister Bear moment. Where's
Speaker 1: mister Bear?
Speaker 3: Where's mister Bear? Instead, we have this weird, creepy Small
Speaker 3: Wonder looking doll.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, it.
Speaker 1: Is a very creepy looking doll, right, same red dress.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, it's actually it is the person from
Speaker 3: Small Wonder. Just they've they've spent their hiatus on the bookshelf.
Speaker 1: They miniaturized her, yes, exactly. It inserted her into full house.
Speaker 1: So Danny tells Stephanie she doesn't need to do this,
Speaker 1: and Stephanie responds, yes I do. I'm too dumb to
Speaker 1: have toys. Oh my god, that's really taking this hard right.
Speaker 1: She walks over to her bed, deciding to add on
Speaker 1: to her punishment, telling Danny, I don't deserve pillows or
Speaker 1: blankets or sheets too, and she just strips her bed.
Speaker 2: Completely, not even a mattress cover.
Speaker 1: No. Danny tries consoling her, saying, Uncle Jesse knows that
Speaker 1: she didn't do this on purpose, so there's no reason
Speaker 1: for her to feel bad. Danny tells her to come
Speaker 1: downstairs and eat some breakfast. She tells him, I can't
Speaker 1: leave my room. I've grounded myself until I'm eighty two.
Speaker 2: I'm technically still grounded.
Speaker 1: You're still grounded right now. You've got forty more.
Speaker 2: Years to go, forty more years ago. You know what,
Speaker 2: I'll take it down.
Speaker 1: You've been in that little room right there for just.
Speaker 3: Sitting right there, not even a sheet, for forty years.
Speaker 1: Danny responds, you are not grounded. I am your father,
Speaker 1: and I'm ordering you to play with your toys. Steph
Speaker 1: gives him the dollback, saying, please don't make me have fun.
Speaker 2: He tells her, doll that's definitely got some poor child sold.
Speaker 1: No, there's no fun to be had with this creepy doll,
Speaker 1: that's for sure. So Danny tells her that one day,
Speaker 1: when she's a parent, she'll understand. He hands the doll
Speaker 1: back to her, cheerfully, telling her to have fun. Stephanie
Speaker 1: pretends to play with the doll for a few seconds
Speaker 1: and then sighs sarcastically, saying, hot dog, Hmm, she's not
Speaker 1: gonna she's not gonna have fun.
Speaker 3: She's she's just not having fun, not having fun, and
Speaker 3: also bringing it back to the hot dogs.
Speaker 1: So it was oh love that we cut to the
Speaker 1: living room where Danny is reading the paper as he's
Speaker 1: continuously telling Michelle don't do that. As she's slowly pushing
Speaker 1: the magazines off the table. Danny tells her that now
Speaker 1: they have to play a game called Let's clean up
Speaker 1: our mess, see Danny. They're they're bringing back Danny and
Speaker 1: his uh cleanliness.
Speaker 3: This feels like an introduction really onto Danny as a
Speaker 3: clean freak, Like what's happened between season one and season
Speaker 3: two that Danny is now having this like reactionary anxiety cleaning,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got hints of it in season one, but
Speaker 1: now it's fun.
Speaker 3: But now this episode he's dustbusting, the vacuum, he's organized,
Speaker 3: he's alphabetizing magazines. Feels a little like maybe this might
Speaker 3: be how he's dealing with some things and it's becoming
Speaker 3: a little He's been wound a little tight.
Speaker 1: Danny's got feelings and he's taking it out on the
Speaker 1: organization of house.
Speaker 3: Right, and not to mention the fact that there are
Speaker 3: toys that are obviously on the stairs which are a hazard.
Speaker 3: But y, yeah, like turned upside down. But we have
Speaker 3: alphabetized people magazine, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like that to me, I was like, your priorities need
Speaker 2: to be switched around, Sir Danny's priorities.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, it is something. So Michelle helps him put
Speaker 1: the magazines back on the coffee table in order, and
Speaker 1: Danny applauds her. Joey butts in, telling Danny not to
Speaker 1: turn this sweet, innocent girl into a compulsive, neurotic nutcase
Speaker 1: like him. Joey picks Michelle up, telling her it's time
Speaker 1: for a nap. He sarcastically mentions, when you're sleeping, don't
Speaker 1: wrinkle your pajamas.
Speaker 2: She was not happy when she got picked up. You know,
Speaker 2: she didn't believe. They were very much not happy it.
Speaker 1: Which is true. Kid wants to take a nap. No,
Speaker 1: that's true, and now I live for naps. But when
Speaker 1: you're a kid na right now, go ahead, we'll wait,
Speaker 1: so DJ is Steph walk in. The girls say that
Speaker 1: they're done with the dishes. Dj tells her dad exactly
Speaker 1: how she stacked the dishes, which sounds a lot like
Speaker 1: the way he organizes the magazines.
Speaker 3: Again, Danny is all of a sudden like everything has
Speaker 3: to be in size alphabetical order.
Speaker 1: Oh, he's hardcore. Danny salutes them, telling them good work.
Speaker 1: Stephanie tells her dad, I've really tried hard to have fun.
Speaker 1: Now can I please go back to being sad? Danny
Speaker 1: tells me that's very emo.
Speaker 3: She's like, so she Yeah, she's gonna be a big
Speaker 3: like my chemical romance.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Fan and in like twenty years the guilty the hairli
Speaker 2: I was gonna have Like she'd be like, yes, I'm
Speaker 2: so email.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the start of it.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: So Danny tells her she's been too hard on herself.
Speaker 1: It was just a little chunk of Uncle Jesse's hair.
Speaker 1: Right then, the doorbell rings and Danny tells Steph it
Speaker 1: wasn't even a chunk of hair. It was a chunk.
Speaker 1: At When Dj answers the door, a hot nurse is
Speaker 1: there to help Jesse into the house.
Speaker 2: Of course, where did this woman come from.
Speaker 1: I don't know, does she seems like a concierge service,
Speaker 1: Like is he wearing a helmet?
Speaker 2: I have so many questions.
Speaker 1: So many questions.
Speaker 2: It's so many things that I.
Speaker 1: Yes, they're clearly setting up for this and the Joe
Speaker 1: cast to work.
Speaker 2: So there's the joke cast of work.
Speaker 1: The joke, right, So Jesse has casts all over his arms,
Speaker 1: which sticking straight out like Frankenstein, and he's wearing his
Speaker 1: motorcycle helmet. Like you pointed out, what did.
Speaker 2: He break in order to have that be the remedy
Speaker 2: for it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a full like a full body cast
Speaker 1: from the waist, like is it right?
Speaker 2: What what did you break? And how are you just
Speaker 2: walking in the house if that was the case?
Speaker 1: Yeah? No, yeah, no, he's like how much time in
Speaker 1: the spry?
Speaker 3: He's awfully spry for having broken the entire upper half
Speaker 3: of his body.
Speaker 1: Well nothing else, like his face is still perfect, like
Speaker 1: nothing else scratch on his face.
Speaker 2: Was I'm starting to question Jesse's, uh, the.
Speaker 3: Insurance practices here because you know, first he did it
Speaker 3: with bullet Oh yeah, gotten a car accident, car destroyed.
Speaker 2: He's fine, he was. Now it's the motorcycle. I'm just saying, yeah,
Speaker 2: you get money for these destroyed vehicles? Is some insurance
Speaker 2: for all the Jesse s dreda pull. All of a sudden,
Speaker 2: he's like, you know what, I'm not going to be
Speaker 2: an exterminator anymore. My new gig.
Speaker 1: This is saying that, you know what, I am here
Speaker 1: for this theory. I love it. Okay, So just insurance.
Speaker 3: That's how he's getting his money is it's insurance fraud
Speaker 3: so that he can keep being an Elvis impersonator.
Speaker 1: On the side, because that's what he wants to do.
Speaker 3: That's what he really wants to do. So he's like,
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna start crashing things.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, got it. That's why he's so obsessive.
Speaker 1: Have lost the mullet. Yeah, he's lost his identity here,
Speaker 1: got it?
Speaker 2: This makes sense.
Speaker 3: So Jesse, he's got to cut his hair because he's
Speaker 3: there onto him for the last fraud.
Speaker 2: So he's got to look like somebody different, changing because
Speaker 2: I did not spittle this time, right, right. They're like,
Speaker 2: can't look like the same guy. Got to be different.
Speaker 1: So he's wearing the helmet, right, So Jesse explains, well,
Speaker 1: thanks to mister Stephanie's pretend haircut. I was forced to
Speaker 1: get a real one, which I hate. I hopped on
Speaker 1: my Harley and raced out of the parking lot, failing
Speaker 1: to see the tiny sign that says severe tire damage.
Speaker 1: He tells everyone he wrecked his bike and now he
Speaker 1: has these concrete sleeves. Stephanie hears this and look devastated.
Speaker 1: The sad Violins take us to a very sad commercial
Speaker 1: break and when we returned, sadness. It's so much sadness.
Speaker 1: When we return, the nurse is getting ready to leave.
Speaker 1: She tells Jesse, if you ever need a sponge bath,
Speaker 1: give me a call.
Speaker 2: As she writes number to hit on people. Hey are
Speaker 2: you do you need help? You wiping yourself? Yeah? Right,
Speaker 2: Like that's not sexy.
Speaker 1: She needs to work on our game. Yes, I mean
Speaker 1: she didn't meet him in a hospital, so I'm just
Speaker 1: surprised he didn't flirt back like I was expecting him
Speaker 1: to be, Like, oh, I got concrete arms. Let's go
Speaker 1: make out. You know, nothing is stopped him before.
Speaker 2: What's I mean? Couldn't even shake her hand? No?
Speaker 1: Noah. So Joey walks up to her, trying to flirt
Speaker 1: by saying, well, if you need a sponge bath, well
Speaker 1: you look like a shower person. And there's a missed
Speaker 1: opportunity here, like the nur's his name is Ron.
Speaker 2: Bro a sponge bath, no, no, well.
Speaker 1: Yes, but the nurse's name is Ronda, and there's no
Speaker 1: help me Ronda joke, come on, like missed opportunity. I
Speaker 1: was waiting for it.
Speaker 3: I feel like they're maybe they're I feel like there
Speaker 3: had to have been at some point.
Speaker 1: Well maybe he says, thank you, Ron, thank you for
Speaker 1: helping me Ronda. But it's not like it's not delivered
Speaker 1: like a joke. It's not written like a joke, it's
Speaker 1: not set up like a joke. And I'm like, this
Speaker 1: is a same You got to set up a joke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe it was just a joke that didn't go
Speaker 2: over well didn't land.
Speaker 1: Maybe it got cut in the edit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, because that is the Yeah, thanks for helping me, Ronda.
Speaker 2: I think that that is that's that qualifies a joke.
Speaker 1: Okay, that is the joke.
Speaker 2: That a very funny one.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay. So Jesse is wondering what he is going
Speaker 1: to do for the next six weeks with two broken arms,
Speaker 1: Joey tells him, I think you can scratch bowling off
Speaker 1: the list. DJ adds, I think you can scratch scratching
Speaker 1: off the list. Seriously. Stephanie apologizes again, saying it's all
Speaker 1: her fault. Danny comforts her, saying, well, it's not all
Speaker 1: her fault. He tries to get Jesse to say the same,
Speaker 1: and Jesse reluctantly, reluctantly tells her, well, it's not all
Speaker 1: your fault, thanks, Jesse, just mostly, just mostly, it's like
Speaker 1: ninety eight percent her fault. Yeah. DJ says, well, let's
Speaker 1: see your new haircut, and Jesse tells them no, no, no,
Speaker 1: but everyone insists. Joey walks over to him, taking his
Speaker 1: helmet off and revealing a short haired Jesse. Everyone is shocked,
Speaker 1: including the audience.
Speaker 2: And including all of the eighties. All of the eighties
Speaker 2: were shocked, all of the eighties, all of the eighties.
Speaker 2: Was like, the bullet's out.
Speaker 1: Now, the bullet is out. But he looks so much better,
Speaker 1: Like this is a massive improvement, so much better.
Speaker 2: I felt so much better.
Speaker 1: Actual relief. Yes, right, I was like, oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 1: the better haircut. Yeah, no, it's it's a huge improvement.
Speaker 2: But people like the audience like kind of laughed. I
Speaker 2: was like, I didn't.
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess they laughed just because it was
Speaker 3: Jesse his beloved hair was now.
Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, I was trying to hear it. Do they
Speaker 1: think it was a joke? Like? And that's why I
Speaker 1: think it was just more like they stunned.
Speaker 2: Well, because everyone knows I think the attachment to Jesse's hair.
Speaker 2: I don't necessarily think it was the haircut itself.
Speaker 1: That was not the hair hunt.
Speaker 2: Although Joey does say he looked like pee wee Van Herman.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's true. That's true. And Stephanie says, I think
Speaker 1: you look very handsome.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: So John obviously cut his hair over this hiatus. Do
Speaker 1: we know why we should have asked him this on
Speaker 1: when he was here? Well, I ask him.
Speaker 2: My only question would be why not sooner?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? Like that? Yeah, how did
Speaker 2: you get there in the first place?
Speaker 1: What was wrong?
Speaker 2: No? I love you John, that hair a lot.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't know what prompted the haircut.
Speaker 2: I'm just it was just it was just time.
Speaker 1: It was time for a change.
Speaker 2: Time. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So DJ hugs Jesse, saying she's glad he's okay. Steph
Speaker 1: comes up to him, saying she's happy he's ok k two,
Speaker 1: and she grabs his concrete arm and tries hugging it
Speaker 1: as he yelps in pain. Jesse scolds her, telling her
Speaker 1: to be a little more careful. He walks away, getting
Speaker 1: the door for himself and announcing it takes more than
Speaker 1: some broken bones to slow down Big Jay.
Speaker 2: Apparently, I'm what destroys Jesse. Car accidents, motorcycle accidents.
Speaker 1: He just feelings that's what destroys connections. So Michelle starts
Speaker 1: crying off camera, and Jesse and Joey start up the
Speaker 1: stairs to go grab her. Joey stops him and asks
Speaker 1: was that a hungry cry or a wet cry. Danny
Speaker 1: confirms it's a hungry cry, and Joey says, well, in
Speaker 1: that case, I'll help you. Steph tells sorry. Dj tells
Speaker 1: Steph that they should go help uncle Jesse. Steph asks
Speaker 1: help him. I can't even hug him. She runs upstairs
Speaker 1: to stay far away from Uncle Jesse. Wam so. In
Speaker 1: the kitchen, Jesse is trying to grab a box of
Speaker 1: oat boats that is perched on top of the fridge, but.
Speaker 2: He boats, making a comeback.
Speaker 1: But the oat boats I love that they're like a
Speaker 1: recruiting character at this point.
Speaker 2: Yes, they kind of a little uh.
Speaker 3: I mean, it's not an official everywhere you look moment,
Speaker 3: but it's a it's kind of yeah.
Speaker 1: No, I'm always looking for the box of oat boats
Speaker 1: in evidence in the kitchen, and this time it's a
Speaker 1: major part of this, this wonderful bit that we're about
Speaker 1: to watch here. So Jesse can't quite grab this because
Speaker 1: of his concrete arms. A DJ walks in and offers
Speaker 1: her help. Jesse says he's more than capable of making
Speaker 1: a simple bowl of cereal. What follows is another classic
Speaker 1: hysterical physical comedy bit by John in the kitchen.
Speaker 3: He does so much of this great physical comedy, particularly
Speaker 3: in the kitchen. Always in the kitchen, I don't know,
Speaker 3: because it sets up good comedy.
Speaker 2: It gives you time to get from a stupid moment.
Speaker 3: Then you've got laugh beats as you're walking around the
Speaker 3: Highland the next Yeah, it's a he really he uses
Speaker 3: the space and the time of the joke really well.
Speaker 1: He really does. We last saw this in the Knock
Speaker 1: Yourself Out episode where the girls are saying, don't forget
Speaker 1: the ice cream right, and he's piling all the food
Speaker 1: on top of himself. And he does it in fuller
Speaker 1: house too, where he sets the kitchen on fire. So yeah,
Speaker 1: Dawn is very good at funny physical comedy bits. In
Speaker 1: the kitchen, yes, he grabs a broom to knock the
Speaker 1: cereal onto the floor. He then grabs a meat fork
Speaker 1: to pick it up and brings the box to the
Speaker 1: kitchen table. Now several times during the scene, Jesse suddenly
Speaker 1: makes a turn with his outstretched concrete arms and nearly
Speaker 1: clobbers DJ, who has to duck to avoid him. Danny
Speaker 1: enters the room carrying Michelle. DJ leaves telling her dad
Speaker 1: Jesse's perfectly capable of making a simple bowl of cereal.
Speaker 1: Jesse is now at the cupboards trying to grab a
Speaker 1: cereal bowl with his teeth. Danny asks to give him
Speaker 1: a hand, and Jesse asks, well, do I look like
Speaker 1: somebody who needs a hand. He pulls the bowl out
Speaker 1: far enough with his teeth to stick it on his
Speaker 1: head and he wears it like a hat to the table.
Speaker 1: Big applause from the audience, like this is just such
Speaker 1: a funny. He looks so cute with that bowl on
Speaker 1: his head right, So at the kitchen table, Jesse pours
Speaker 1: the entire box of oat boats into the bowl. Danny
Speaker 1: leaves Michelle with Jesse to keep an eye on him
Speaker 1: as he goes to change for work. He hands Jesse
Speaker 1: a carton of milk, and Jesse pours the milk, but
Speaker 1: needs to add the finishing touch by putting bananas on
Speaker 1: top of his cereal.
Speaker 3: I would have given up with the bananas, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean. I would have been like, I don't
Speaker 3: need the bananas.
Speaker 1: Right, you don't. It's not worth it. It's not worth it.
Speaker 1: But he's doing He's trying to make it a point
Speaker 1: that nothing has changed. Yes, so he shakes one banana
Speaker 1: off of the bunch. He places the cereal bowl on
Speaker 1: the chair and sticks the banana on the kitchen table,
Speaker 1: grabs a rolling pin and squeezes the banana or rolls
Speaker 1: the banana out of its peel directly into the cereal bowl.
Speaker 1: The audience is so impressed.
Speaker 3: I was like, how is he gonna do this without
Speaker 3: like just yeah, I thought the banana was gonna go
Speaker 3: flying right.
Speaker 2: Across the table. Me too, Quite a technique.
Speaker 1: He I wonder how many times they had to shoot
Speaker 1: that because it's not easy to roll a banana out
Speaker 1: of his eyes.
Speaker 2: No, I don't know, especially with your arms stuck in
Speaker 2: that position.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So, Jesse grabs a long wooden spoon and tells
Speaker 1: Michelle it's time for him to enjoy his oat boats.
Speaker 1: Except when he tries to eat the cereal, he realizes
Speaker 1: he can't reach the spoon to his mouth. He even
Speaker 1: tries flicking the cereal towards him, but it just splashes
Speaker 1: everything on his face. Jesse resorts to sticking his entire
Speaker 1: head in the bowl and eating the cereal face down like.
Speaker 2: A pig and a trough right just in there.
Speaker 1: Danny re enters the room and looks at him concerned,
Speaker 1: and Jesse defensively asks, what's the matter. Never seen a
Speaker 1: grown man eat cereal before? And Danny admits, well, not
Speaker 1: like a great Dane.
Speaker 2: Yeah, very much like a great Dane.
Speaker 1: Danny encourages Jesse to let let them help him. Jesse groans,
Speaker 1: admitting defeat. Danny takes Michelle's bib off of her, saying
Speaker 1: I think your uncle needs this more than you do.
Speaker 1: He puts the bib on Jesse and starts to spoon
Speaker 1: feed him. This cues a musical montage.
Speaker 2: He was a montage set to the song.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is set to the song Help by somebody
Speaker 1: covering the Beatles.
Speaker 3: I believe it's the It's probably the Rippers, probably like Griffin. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because Gary produced the all the music for the show.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so I would think that maybe or they
Speaker 3: covered a song too.
Speaker 1: That's a great gut Maybe let's go with that. I
Speaker 1: think that's great the Rippers. So the Rippers are singing help. Sure,
Speaker 1: we see we see in this montage the family is
Speaker 1: helping Jesse brush his teeth, tucking him into bed, helping
Speaker 1: him get out of bed, shaving his face, putting a
Speaker 1: T shirt on, looking stamps, and spoon feeding him. And
Speaker 1: throughout all of this Jesse is not happy.
Speaker 2: No, not loving it, not loving this.
Speaker 1: We cut to DJ's room where DJ is strumming Jesse's
Speaker 1: guitar as he sings, but she is unable to get
Speaker 1: the tempo right. This is a great callback to uh
Speaker 1: but seriously Fox Bangles. Yeah, the Bengals where DJ is
Speaker 1: screwing up screwing up the Venus song too?
Speaker 2: Yes or not? The Bengals.
Speaker 1: The bracelets, the bracelets, Yes, right, we were yes, the bracelets.
Speaker 3: And I and and I do see that Stacey Q
Speaker 3: has been very unceremoniously removed from.
Speaker 2: Uh DJ's wall. So I don't know what Stacey Q did.
Speaker 1: So she hit her off and she never got the
Speaker 1: autograph she got. Joey took her autograph away.
Speaker 3: And right so she was like, I can't even bear
Speaker 3: to look at it anymore. I have to take this
Speaker 3: poster off my wall. Reminds me of of dark time
Speaker 3: in my life.
Speaker 1: Right, so, the Bengals. The Bengals are back on the wall,
Speaker 1: just Stacey Q is out. Jesse explains this is music,
Speaker 1: and DJ hands the guitar to Stephanie, asking her to
Speaker 1: do it instead. DJ adds, all you do is mope around.
Speaker 1: Come on, everybody's helping out, but you. Steph explains that
Speaker 1: she can't help. Jesse puts an end to the argument,
Speaker 1: saying this is so stupid. I can't play my music.
Speaker 1: I can't take care of myself. This is so humiliating,
Speaker 1: and he storms out.
Speaker 2: Wait to be a big baby a bit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just he's really just making Stephanie feel bad.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: We cut to the kitchen where Danny is dustbusting his
Speaker 1: vacuum bag.
Speaker 2: This is peak.
Speaker 3: Gee, this is like we went from zero to one
Speaker 3: hundred real quick, you know what I mean. We went
Speaker 3: from like, oh, the guy kind of likes we went
Speaker 3: from the house is a disaster to okay, he likes
Speaker 3: a clean house, to now he is compulsively cleaning his
Speaker 3: cleaning products. Yes, and I'm honestly a little alarmed, but.
Speaker 1: It's they Yeah, they're going full boar with it. There's like,
Speaker 1: Danny's a clean.
Speaker 2: Free and he needs to talk to someone.
Speaker 3: Maybe, you know, he's about like controlling his environment doesn't
Speaker 3: mean he can control the world.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, therapist would have a field day with this.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: So Jesse runs downstairs, telling Danny to open the back
Speaker 1: door so we can leave, and then slam it. DJ
Speaker 1: tells her dad that Stephanie won't help Uncle Jesse. Steph explains,
Speaker 1: I don't want to break him. I don't ever want
Speaker 1: to hurt Uncle Jesse. Again, DJ tells her she didn't
Speaker 1: hurt Uncle Jesse, but Stephanie insists, while I only scalped him,
Speaker 1: wrecked his motorcycle and broke his arms. No wonder he's
Speaker 1: so mad at me. Danny hears this and excuses dj
Speaker 1: from her duties as caretaker, which she's very excited about.
Speaker 1: Danny talks to Stephanie alone, saying, well, okay, you're you're
Speaker 1: a little bit jinxed, and steph asks, jinxd I'm the
Speaker 1: kiss of death.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's it's taking this really hard.
Speaker 1: She's taking it so hard. We cut to the backyard.
Speaker 1: Danny walks out to find Jesse kicking his wrecked motorcycle.
Speaker 2: Just where Bullet died.
Speaker 1: Right, this is where bullet died. This is the backyard
Speaker 1: where vehicles go to die by the hand of Jesse.
Speaker 2: I'm not telling you, yes, I like your insurance fraud theory.
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm just asking. I'm just asking questions, just
Speaker 2: asking questions.
Speaker 1: So Jesse angrily tells him I don't want to talk
Speaker 1: about it right now. I'd leave, but I can't reach
Speaker 1: the gate hook. Danny lectures him, well, there's nothing you
Speaker 1: can do about your arms, but there is something you
Speaker 1: can do about Stephanie. Jesse's confused, so Danny explains that
Speaker 1: Stephanie is too scared to go near him because she's
Speaker 1: afraid she's gonna hurt him again. Jesse shrugs and says, well,
Speaker 1: tell the little rug rat she's wacko.
Speaker 2: That's always a good but that's that's.
Speaker 1: Right, he's so so loving. Danny's says, well, Jesse should
Speaker 1: be the one to tell her that, and in a
Speaker 1: nicer way, thank you, Danny, Yes, thank you, Danny.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 1: Jesse finally agrees and asks Danny to send Stephanie out.
Speaker 1: Danny goes back in the house and comes back with
Speaker 1: Stephanie carrying her and places her down on the grass.
Speaker 1: Stephanie shuffles a couple of inches towards Jesse, and Jesse
Speaker 1: says you can come a little closer, but she argues
Speaker 1: I better not. I'm dangerous. That is why you hate me,
Speaker 1: and the audience gives a big, big yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean I did, and it was me, it was you. Yes.
Speaker 1: Jesse is finally taken aback and says, Stephanie Judith Tanner,
Speaker 1: I do not hate you. And I believe this is
Speaker 1: the second episode where he's referenced or someone has referenced
Speaker 1: Stephanie's full name, Stephanie.
Speaker 3: Judash Well, I think in the oat boats, yes, oat boats,
Speaker 3: we call each other Donna Joe Tanner and Stephanie Judith
Speaker 3: or Stephanie, Judah Tanner and Donna Joe Margaret Tanner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. So Steph asks why he's yelling and
Speaker 1: being so grouchy if he doesn't hate her. Jesse realizes
Speaker 1: that he's been feeling sorry for himself and he's acting
Speaker 1: like a baby. Yeah, yeah, he is. He apologizes to Stephanie,
Speaker 1: saying he didn't mean to blame her. Steph asks, you're
Speaker 1: really not mad at me. Jesse tells her, you made
Speaker 1: one little mistake. Everybody makes mistakes. He gives her an example.
Speaker 1: I'm an expert bike rider and I've never had one problem,
Speaker 1: but I miss one little sign in boom. I'm the
Speaker 1: mummy man. He tells Steph, same with you. How many
Speaker 1: pretend haircuts have you given? She starts to count and
Speaker 1: then lands on one million.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He emphasizes that she's an expert too, but she just
Speaker 1: made one little mistake.
Speaker 2: You look away one time, you know, you laugh at
Speaker 2: one joke, You laugh.
Speaker 3: At one joke, and you cut one gigantic piece of
Speaker 3: molly weasels out of hair out of someone's head.
Speaker 2: You know, it's a thing that happens.
Speaker 3: It's the ferret from Season Sun. That's the fit is
Speaker 3: the ferret from season one. It's been in Jesse's hair
Speaker 3: making noise this entire time.
Speaker 1: It's time to exterminate that at times.
Speaker 3: Yep, the ferret is finally gone. Everybody, don't worry, we
Speaker 3: finally got the ferret.
Speaker 1: Okay, So Jesse promises Stephanie that he will be as
Speaker 1: good as new. He tells her, you come over here,
Speaker 1: and you give me the world's biggest hug. Lay it
Speaker 1: on me, baby. She walks up and just squeezes his
Speaker 1: fingers lightly.
Speaker 3: I remember that, by the way, I remember, like, I
Speaker 3: just remember like lightly squeezing his lips.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's just like, don't break him. Be done yet? Yeah.
Speaker 1: He asks her if he has the kooties, and he
Speaker 1: tells her to sit on his lap. He admits that
Speaker 1: he's going to need her help since he can't play
Speaker 1: his music. He was thinking about working on some lyrics.
Speaker 1: He tells her. Well, that is, if you could write
Speaker 1: down the lyrics for me. Stephanie exclaimed, I could do
Speaker 1: that if you write about dog, cat Tree and Stephanie
Speaker 1: hit song. Jesse laughs and asks, well, can you spell baby?
Speaker 1: She spells it out for him and he nods, telling
Speaker 1: her good. Then we have a hit.
Speaker 2: It's true. The word baby in a song is proven
Speaker 2: to uh proven to be a hit.
Speaker 1: An instant number one hit. Jesse says that the best
Speaker 1: part about steph helping him is he gets to spend
Speaker 1: more time with his little buddy. She responds, I'm so
Speaker 1: glad you broke your arms and gives him a big hug.
Speaker 1: He excitedly tells her, you're hugging me and I'm not
Speaker 1: even hurting because you quit me in a baby at bat. Finally, finally,
Speaker 1: Stephanie yells, you're right. The curse is broken, and they
Speaker 1: scream in unison have mercy.
Speaker 2: That is so cute. I love that little happener moment.
Speaker 1: This is the sweetest little scene between you and John.
Speaker 1: I just love the bond between Jesse and Stephanie. It
Speaker 1: continues all away through Fuller House.
Speaker 3: True, this was one of those scenes that I watched
Speaker 3: and then it just made me think of, like, you know,
Speaker 3: sort of the later times in Fuller House and all that.
Speaker 1: It was very cute. Yeah, and including walking you down
Speaker 1: the aisle when Stephanie finally gets married and in the
Speaker 1: last season a Fuller Ye so sweet. Well, this feels
Speaker 1: like the end of the episode, but it's not. We
Speaker 1: have one more scene, one more scene, one more scene.
Speaker 1: In Michelle's room, Jesse is sitting next to Michelle's crib
Speaker 1: as she brushes his hair. He stands up and asks, well,
Speaker 1: what do you think of my new haircut? Better than
Speaker 1: Gary Shandling's.
Speaker 3: And they probably only said that because Bob and Dave
Speaker 3: and John actually knew Gary, and it.
Speaker 1: Was just a just a stupid joke, like a little
Speaker 1: insider joke.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking so too, because it seemed kind of out
Speaker 1: of left field, so I'm like, yeah, this must be
Speaker 1: an insider although.
Speaker 2: Gary Shandling was also very, very popular comedian at the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, So Michelle promptly says, no, you can tell
Speaker 1: this is a word she's learned. She's like, no, that's
Speaker 1: her line now for the rest of the episode. Yes. Uh.
Speaker 1: Jesse asks her, well, what about Don King's hair, and
Speaker 1: again she tells him no, sarcastically says that he feels
Speaker 1: much better.
Speaker 3: Also, to those of you in their audience going who's
Speaker 3: Don King? He was a very I'm telling you wow.
Speaker 3: He was a famous boxing promoter and manager who also
Speaker 3: notoriously ripped off most of his clients and stole a
Speaker 3: lot of their money and was kind of not probably
Speaker 3: a great person.
Speaker 1: But his hair was that way defied gravity.
Speaker 3: It yeah, it was very It was what inspired Wicked,
Speaker 3: but it defied gravity.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it definitely went up.
Speaker 3: It did, it went It went very thing, but it
Speaker 3: was It was sort of a running joke Don King's hair.
Speaker 1: So Jesse's relieved that he does not look like Don King.
Speaker 2: His hair looked worse before you did it did.
Speaker 1: This is a huge improvement. So Jesse walks around Michelle Room,
Speaker 1: mentioning how he always says that things happen for a reason.
Speaker 1: He's realized that maybe this is all happening to him
Speaker 1: because it's time to make some changes in his life.
Speaker 1: She stares at him blankly, and he continues, you realize
Speaker 1: that ever since I've been sixteen years old, I've had
Speaker 1: the exact same haircut, I've ridden the same Harley, dressed
Speaker 1: the same listened to the same music, and had the
Speaker 1: same boring job killing bugs. He admits. For someone who
Speaker 1: likes to live life on the edge, he's been living
Speaker 1: on the edge of a rut.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, is.
Speaker 1: He going through another life crisis like it's only been
Speaker 1: a few episodes since the last.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's got a life crisis, and it's always kind
Speaker 3: of about the same thing, and he always comes to
Speaker 3: this realization. But then then he hops on his bike
Speaker 3: and forgets about it and breaks his art.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, this is this is now a pattern.
Speaker 2: I feel it.
Speaker 3: And there's more episodes to come where he freaks out
Speaker 3: and hops on his bike and leaves.
Speaker 1: So okay, so it's this is a pattern for a pattern.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Jesse ends up and announces to Michelle, starting right now,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna shake my life up a bit. Michelle looks surprised,
Speaker 1: and Jesse asks, what you think I'm afraid of change?
Speaker 1: She stares blankly, and he gets defensive, saying, you think
Speaker 1: I'm caught up in this whole rebel thing and I
Speaker 1: refuse to grow up. Huh, yes, yes, yes you are, Yes,
Speaker 1: I do exactly, Yes, I do think that spot on.
Speaker 1: He reveals that from now on he's going to be
Speaker 1: a lot more open to change and he's going to
Speaker 1: start acting like a mature adult. After his speech, he
Speaker 1: immediately groans, Joey, I need you. Joey walks up in
Speaker 1: a killer turtleneck and asks again, and he asks again, Yeah,
Speaker 1: Jesse tells him he did have four glasses of iced tea,
Speaker 1: and the audience laughs. Here we go more potty humor.
Speaker 3: You know that there was a moment that got edited
Speaker 3: out of this, Oh what do tell So if you watch,
Speaker 3: Dave goes like and reaches behind him, and I don't
Speaker 3: know if you remember.
Speaker 2: It's in the gag reel. Oh, he pulls tongs out
Speaker 2: of his back pocket and goes like like that and
Speaker 2: goes out after him like as if he's using the
Speaker 2: tongs to help Uncle Jesse use the restaurant. Oh geez,
Speaker 2: but that yeah, they cut that out of the episode,
Speaker 2: but it's definitely in the in the in the season
Speaker 2: two gagriel. That's so great And if you and if
Speaker 2: you watch it, you sort of see Dave like go
Speaker 2: reach back into his pocket. But I think they were like,
Speaker 2: maybe we shouldn't put that in the final cut.
Speaker 1: Right, Oh my gosh, that's great that I did not
Speaker 1: notice that. That's hysterical. We kind of find that gag reel.
Speaker 1: So the guys stare at each other and Joey tells
Speaker 1: him to go on, and Michelle waves goodbye as both
Speaker 1: guys walk out of the room, and that is our show.
Speaker 1: That is our season two opener.
Speaker 2: Yes, season two opener, Jesse's broken arms.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Jesse's life crisis. They you know, it's it's They're back.
Speaker 1: They're back. This was a solid season.
Speaker 2: Open was this was a great season Oprah. Actually, I
Speaker 2: really yeah, I really enjoyed it. I was very I
Speaker 2: was very pleased.
Speaker 1: I did too.
Speaker 2: Episode.
Speaker 3: It's one of my it's one of my favorite episodes.
Speaker 3: I just think it's a cute. There's some cute scenes
Speaker 3: in it, and some really funny physical comedy bits with
Speaker 3: John and Read.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and some emotional beats too. They hit all that.
Speaker 3: I mean, like some really great, sweet touching scenes, some
Speaker 3: really funny scenes. It was a well written and well
Speaker 3: executed episode.
Speaker 2: I do like this one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did too, and I wrote down that. My
Speaker 1: only note is that I wish this episode had kind
Speaker 1: of hinted at any of the storylines to come in
Speaker 1: season two or the character arcs. But now I'm just
Speaker 1: realizing in real time that maybe that's what this last
Speaker 1: scene in Michelle's room was about. Jesse's hinting that he's
Speaker 1: making changes, and I don't know what's coming in season two.
Speaker 2: But right, maybe it's the jingle writers. Did they jingle
Speaker 2: radio host? Did that one of the many jobs that
Speaker 2: Jesse and Joy do? Yeah, but yeah it does. It
Speaker 2: is sort of setting that up. Okay for that, but
Speaker 2: also sit.
Speaker 3: Comes back then and shows back then. Like I feel
Speaker 3: like one off episodes were kind of more of the thing.
Speaker 3: You could jump in really at any point, true, and
Speaker 3: you didn't necessary. It wasn't like you needed to know
Speaker 3: what happened, and that's kind of a sitcom thing anyways.
Speaker 3: You can, you don't need to know as much. There
Speaker 3: are a little more like individualized episodes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can jump anytime, but yeah.
Speaker 2: We didn't.
Speaker 3: There wasn't a lot of long term character arcs other
Speaker 3: than Jesse's upset.
Speaker 1: Again yeah, Jesse's upset. Jesse's upset.
Speaker 2: Yeh, Jesse's upset.
Speaker 3: Jesse's upset.
Speaker 1: Well, do you have any everywhere you look moments from
Speaker 1: this episode?
Speaker 2: Actually? I do actually have an everywhere you look moments?
Speaker 2: And it's season.
Speaker 3: Two and actually this is everywhere you look and something
Speaker 3: you don't see, Oh what the second couch.
Speaker 2: The second couch has.
Speaker 3: Now been replaced with the two blue chairs that remained
Speaker 3: for the rest of the show.
Speaker 1: I didn't even notice that.
Speaker 2: The second couch. Yep, the second couch is gone.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of relieved because it always every time it's like, right,
Speaker 1: not two couches, there's only one couch.
Speaker 3: It was such a pain in the ass every time,
Speaker 3: Like I can only imagine as a director as it
Speaker 3: like it would just.
Speaker 2: Would have driven me nuts.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so yeah, we finally finally set deck got
Speaker 3: got it together and replaced it with two blue chairs.
Speaker 1: And it's much easier to move move those blue chairs
Speaker 1: out of the way.
Speaker 2: The couch of people sitting there, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: It's yeah, it's uh.
Speaker 3: The director finally was had Joel probably had burned the
Speaker 3: couch outside of set or something.
Speaker 2: It was like, I.
Speaker 3: Hate this thing, get it out. But that was my
Speaker 3: ever where you look was the second couch is gone.
Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. That's a I didn't
Speaker 1: even notice. I didn't notice that it was that it
Speaker 1: was gone. All right, that's excellent.
Speaker 2: Okay, well you have one.
Speaker 1: I do have one, and it's it's I've been wanting
Speaker 1: to bring this up for a while because I saw
Speaker 1: it in season one as well, and it's you're in
Speaker 1: season two. Okay, if you're in the living room set
Speaker 1: and you look at the kitchen, the door leading to
Speaker 1: the kitchen.
Speaker 2: Right, there's this decor there is this is it the woman,
Speaker 2: the woman, the mermaid?
Speaker 1: What is this?
Speaker 2: It's sticking out what you would see on the bow
Speaker 2: of a ship.
Speaker 3: Okay, So which there was always women were always carved
Speaker 3: into it because they were you were supposed to name
Speaker 3: your ship after a woman. It was like good luck
Speaker 3: and whatever, and you put that on the head of
Speaker 3: on the bow of your ship, and that.
Speaker 1: Was She's like the beacon. She's like the yeah, this
Speaker 1: is what you name your ship. Okay, so it's fitting.
Speaker 3: Maybe they ripped it off of the boat in the
Speaker 3: Secrets episode and they've mounted it to the to the.
Speaker 1: Wall ever since the last remaining homage to their bachelor
Speaker 1: good Yes.
Speaker 2: It's and it goes.
Speaker 3: It's a set with that weird woman on the bow
Speaker 3: of the ship and the sea Pappy's head. So they're
Speaker 3: a duo sort of a weird salt and pepper shaker Kenna.
Speaker 3: We got Tot's happy Saltan's poppy shaker salt, pap seeing
Speaker 3: Pappy shaker.
Speaker 2: Salt.
Speaker 1: That's this is what I'm giving you for for Christmas
Speaker 1: next years. Happy a custom made Sultan tapping it shakey.
Speaker 2: Yes, Oh my god, amazing.
Speaker 3: All right, Well, uh, if you guys are enjoying the podcast,
Speaker 3: make sure you like and subscribe. Follow us on Instagram
Speaker 3: at how Rude Podcast. You can also send us an
Speaker 3: email at how rude pop.
Speaker 2: Uh, damn it.
Speaker 1: That's okay, that's okay, it's all hard. I was expecting
Speaker 1: you to screw up, right.
Speaker 3: You can send us an email at how Rude Podcast
Speaker 3: at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: There we go.
Speaker 3: Good job, and make sure and tune in next week.
Speaker 3: We've got mini sodes, we've got episodes with Dave Kiek,
Speaker 3: we've got interviews, all kinds of fun stuff.
Speaker 2: So we're so glad to be back with you guys.
Speaker 3: In twenty twenty four. And we're so happy to be
Speaker 3: starting season two of our recap of Howard Tandarrito's. And
Speaker 3: remember everyone, the world is small, but.
Speaker 2: The house is full.
Speaker 1: Boom, Mike drop.
Speaker 2: Mike dropped down.
Speaker 1: You did it, Joony, sweeten. This is a new era,
Speaker 1: this is a new you.
Speaker 2: It is twenty twenty four. What you got? Oh god, no,
Speaker 2: I shouldn't ask that question. He was terrib