WEBVTT - Erin Andrews on refusing to give up hope 0:00:04.120 --> 0:00:06.400 What do you do when life doesn't go according to plan? 0:00:07.200 --> 0:00:09.760 That moment you lose a job, or a loved one, 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:14.080 or even a piece of yourself. I'm Brookshields and this 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:18.759 is now What, a podcast about pivotal moments as told 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:21.600 by people who lived them. Each week, I sit down 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:23.840 with a guest to talk about the times they were 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:26.920 knocked off course and what they did to move forward. 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:33.080 Some stories are funny, others are gut wrenching, but all 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:38.320 are unapologetically human and remind us that every success and 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:42.800 every setback is accompanied by a choice, and that choice 0:00:43.000 --> 0:00:52.440 answers one question. Now what, there's a there's total total sisterhood. 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:54.880 And then Nanny Connie for sure, I. 0:00:54.920 --> 0:00:57.920 Know, teach me, please God, teach me. 0:00:57.960 --> 0:01:01.720 Oh she's the best. So she made you let's see 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:02.760 potato chip cookies. 0:01:02.840 --> 0:01:05.399 Yet I know, and I'm pissed off. 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:07.000 Tell her to get get on that. 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:09.280 I don't know about you. 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:13.800 I absolutely suck at anything domestic in my life. I 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:17.000 basically feel like I'm back at college. I'm learning everything. 0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:19.920 And you know, when she asked me, do you have this, 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:23.520 prime example, do you have a bunt cake pan? My 0:01:23.640 --> 0:01:25.800 husband then looks for her and goes a bum cake, 0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:29.240 No idiot, no a bunt. I don't have one, girl, 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:30.759 Go to your neighbor and go get one. 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:31.160 We got. 0:01:31.200 --> 0:01:35.280 I mean, I am learning, burping the baby, changing the baby. 0:01:35.520 --> 0:01:38.240 What I'm missing in my kitchen. It's been a real 0:01:38.360 --> 0:01:39.640 tutorial over here. 0:01:42.600 --> 0:01:47.680 My guest today is veterans sportscaster and new mom Aaron Andrews. 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:50.200 Aaron has been in the game for decades, as a 0:01:50.200 --> 0:01:53.840 fixture at Fox Sports and a familiar face to millions 0:01:53.840 --> 0:01:57.160 who watched the NFL e tweek. Outside of football, she's 0:01:57.200 --> 0:01:59.600 covered in a number of other pro sports, host a 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:03.840 TV shows, has a successful clothing line, and co hosts 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:09.280 the podcast Calm Down with fellow sportscaster Carissa Thompson. Aaron 0:02:09.560 --> 0:02:12.560 is down right impressive. She's one of those people who 0:02:12.600 --> 0:02:16.119 seems to meet every challenge head on. I am grateful 0:02:16.160 --> 0:02:18.600 for her time and vulnerability, and I hope that you 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:21.480 enjoy our conversation as much as I did. Here is 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:34.400 Erin Andrews. First of all, congratulations, Oh thank you, and 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:38.280 nice to meet too. Nice to meet you too, baby Mac. 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:39.240 How old is see? 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:42.240 So he is going to be I guess he was. 0:02:43.320 --> 0:02:46.079 He's gonna be six weeks this week? Yeah, hey, can 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:48.320 I just ask as a mother? My husband and I 0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:50.600 are having a really hard time when you like see 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:52.560 a couple or you see a mother and you're like, oh, 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:55.880 how old your baby and they're like seventeen months? And 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.000 he's like, are we going to be those people? Because 0:02:58.080 --> 0:03:00.680 I don't know if I am, maybe I will be. 0:03:00.760 --> 0:03:02.840 A lot of stuff is already surprising me. I feel 0:03:02.840 --> 0:03:05.520 like I'll be like, well, he's a little over a year, 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:07.359 But what is with the calculation? 0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:09.120 I can't do math that fast. 0:03:10.480 --> 0:03:13.679 That's such a funny question, you know. I think it's 0:03:13.800 --> 0:03:18.760 that your life changes so drastically that you're just and 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:22.359 the days feel so long. Then the years go by 0:03:22.800 --> 0:03:26.280 really quickly. So I think that it's just this documentation 0:03:26.560 --> 0:03:30.440 of like, and that was another day I survived. Oh wait, 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:32.440 we got through a week, you know. So I do 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:34.720 think that that it's this like it's like a badge 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:38.280 of honor to be like seventeen months and four. 0:03:38.080 --> 0:03:40.560 Days exactly in fifteen minutes. 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:45.080 It's like a life sentence, except you're you're checking off 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:49.960 the days. Yeah, because your life will never be the same. However, 0:03:50.320 --> 0:03:54.320 you won't trade it for anything, but by the same token. 0:03:55.280 --> 0:04:00.200 They they're total strangers. Yeah, and they live off of you, 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:05.920 like in your house, and it's it's bizarre, Like it's 0:04:06.080 --> 0:04:08.280 very strange. You guys have to get to know each. 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:12.280 Other exactly well, and even more so for me because 0:04:12.560 --> 0:04:16.159 there's no connection in terms of me carrying him, you know, 0:04:16.320 --> 0:04:19.800 I almost feel like it's so interesting the guy in 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.279 the relationship. They always talk about, you know, the person 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:25.359 that didn't carry the baby, and how you know whoever 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:27.680 that is didn't really connect with the baby and it 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:28.359 takes a minute. 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:29.400 And so that's. 0:04:29.240 --> 0:04:32.800 Something with Nanny Connie that when I normally live in 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.480 La and we have a place out here in Montana, 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:38.159 and she said, after you have this baby, let's go 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:41.200 to Montana because we're here, and I don't you know, 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:43.039 a lot of my friends didn't come out this summer, 0:04:43.080 --> 0:04:45.520 which is good because I'm in it with him. 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:46.360 Trying to learn him. 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:48.760 So I don't know if that's something I've kind of 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:50.960 created in my head, but I feel like, even more so, 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.279 my connection is something I'm trying to create with him. 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:57.159 So for people that don't know who Nanny Connie is, 0:04:57.240 --> 0:05:03.520 she's a legend, an angel, she's an angel iventioned a 0:05:03.560 --> 0:05:08.040 baby whisper. She is, and she is a baby nurse 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:11.000 amed nanny. You know, I worked with her from my 0:05:11.120 --> 0:05:14.480 with my second daughter, and a lot of it is 0:05:15.160 --> 0:05:18.480 I had to learn how to do certain things too. 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:21.919 But she takes away the fear because we're not giving 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.920 a book. There's no rule book. There's also a lot 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:27.599 of guilt, like I had a tremendous amount of guilt 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:30.440 with my first daughter because I had really bad postpartum depression. 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:34.400 But I'm sure she tells you, I mean, you are 0:05:34.520 --> 0:05:35.960 that baby's only mama. 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:36.520 Oh yeah. 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:39.920 I like study his face and she will constantly say 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:43.359 in the background, that's your baby, that's your baby. And 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:46.800 it's like, oh, you know, because it took me like 0:05:46.920 --> 0:05:49.160 nine ten years to get him with all my trials 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:52.440 with IVF and so forth, and failed pregnancies and failed 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:55.400 circuses and so forth. So yeah, all the things. She's 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:57.880 an angel. She's a nurse, she's a nanny, she is 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.080 a therapist. She is like a bit of you know, 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:02.120 heaven in your living room. It's pretty amazing. 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:05.280 I totally identify with I mean, I went through IVF 0:06:05.400 --> 0:06:05.960 seven times. 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:08.320 Oh wow, I didn't know that you went you. 0:06:08.640 --> 0:06:10.200 Eight, you said eight. 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:10.560 Nine. 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:13.920 Yeah, oh god, it's just it's so heartbreaking, and it's 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:17.360 it's worse like my husband would see me rip off 0:06:17.400 --> 0:06:20.520 the estrogen patches, you know, I would be bleeding and 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:24.640 then lost pregnancies. And and then when you really start 0:06:24.640 --> 0:06:27.240 talking to people and you realize how common it is, 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.240 you know, but is your h how is your schedule 0:06:31.560 --> 0:06:33.839 going to change with the with the start of the 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:34.840 NFL season. 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:36.880 That's going to be the hard part for me. That's 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:39.600 why this month has been so good for us. And 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.960 we get home in a couple of weeks and it's 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:45.920 just like boom, here we go. And you know, if 0:06:45.960 --> 0:06:48.440 I have a random, you know, athlete calling me for 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:51.160 the game I'm studying for, if we have a you 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:54.480 know call change for you know, we are our life 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:56.919 is based off of what the teams that were covering 0:06:57.080 --> 0:07:01.120 schedule basically, So if we have a set schedule with 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:04.040 a head coach and a quarterback at nine am on 0:07:04.080 --> 0:07:08.080 a Tuesday, but then practice didn't go right, he's injured, 0:07:08.440 --> 0:07:10.560 we go off of them. So then we had, you know, 0:07:10.640 --> 0:07:13.400 and so my life has to kind of change. And 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.360 then of course I travel and I go do sit 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:17.800 down interviews, and I'm there for the game, and I 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:19.840 pray the game doesn't go too long so I can 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:22.360 get back on my flight and get home for that night. 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:26.080 You know, we miss Thanksgivings, we miss Christmas, so a 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:28.760 lot of anxiety all wrapped into one. And it's about 0:07:28.800 --> 0:07:32.400 to happen in four to five weeks, which is absolutely crazy. 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:35.080 But again, the good thing with Connie is she's been 0:07:35.120 --> 0:07:37.480 with people like you. She's been with people that have 0:07:37.600 --> 0:07:40.440 really hectic schedules, and she's like, baby, we'll get through it. 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:43.400 But you've been in sports and you've been a sideline 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:47.880 reporter for so many years. You've covered college football, You've 0:07:47.880 --> 0:07:53.760 covered the NFL, and then you also covered baseball, hockey, basketball, 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:54.760 and even NASCAR. 0:07:55.720 --> 0:07:57.960 I mean, I did one stont on NASCAR, and it 0:07:58.080 --> 0:08:01.120 was my biggest nightmare in the whole world, my big nightmare. 0:08:01.160 --> 0:08:03.760 And I'm interested to know what yours is coming from 0:08:03.800 --> 0:08:07.320 the acting world. Mine is I wake up, I'm at 0:08:07.360 --> 0:08:10.320 a game or I'm at an event that I don't 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:12.880 know why I didn't prepare for, because preparation for me 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.160 is insane. It's half of the reason why I have 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:19.720 wrinkles or anxiety. So NASCAR, the one event. I had 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:22.160 just signed with Fox Sports. I'd been with ESPN for 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:24.800 eight years. Here she is, they're rolling her out for 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:28.320 their big event at Nascart's before football. I don't know 0:08:28.520 --> 0:08:31.840 anyone like I will do my best studying. And they 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:33.560 had played it off. They said, no, no, no, no, no, 0:08:33.600 --> 0:08:36.640 it's a fun walk and talk. You're just gonna go out, 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:39.800 you know, before the race, and you're going to talk 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.439 to all the drivers right before they get in their cars. 0:08:42.440 --> 0:08:45.680 I'm like, okay, I can bys with the best of them. 0:08:45.960 --> 0:08:47.920 I had studied the people that they said we we're 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:50.280 going to go to all right, we're going to send 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:53.120 it down to the newest member of our Fox Sports family, 0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:56.360 Aaron Andrews, her debut at NASCAR. Well, she's just going 0:08:56.400 --> 0:08:58.600 to catch up with some of the drivers and see 0:08:58.640 --> 0:09:02.360 what they're up to second before they go into their car. Guys, 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:04.600 thanks so much. I'm so thrilled to be here. It's 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:08.320 an honor. I'm so excited. Let's head over to that 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:11.640 driver's not there. Let's okay, Well they're not there, Well, 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:15.479 we'll come back later. Let's head over to where danikapet everybody. 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:19.240 Brooke went to go pee. I had no one to 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:21.800 talk to. Nightmare coming true, and I was like, oh 0:09:21.840 --> 0:09:24.720 my god, oh my god, finally fifty cent is here. 0:09:25.120 --> 0:09:30.319 Fifty I mean, you know, it was horrific, awful experience. 0:09:30.360 --> 0:09:32.760 So yes, that was my one NASCAR experience, and I 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:35.320 am mortified. Whenever I see a driver, they're like, you 0:09:35.360 --> 0:09:37.719 remember that, I remember it? You know what I think 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:39.920 about it at three thirty in the morning with chest pains. 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:43.640 You know, I can't even I can't even imagine keeping 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:46.480 all of the information. So how do you prepare? Do you? 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:48.760 What's like, what's your homework? 0:09:48.880 --> 0:09:52.480 Like? So much so and I don't even use like 0:09:52.800 --> 0:09:54.679 three fourths of it right Like, I sit there with 0:09:54.720 --> 0:09:57.439 my big binder, my big trapper keeper on the sidelines 0:09:57.440 --> 0:09:58.040 in my arm. 0:09:58.080 --> 0:09:58.800 I'm holding it. 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.360 I've got all my stuff typed out ready to go. 0:10:01.440 --> 0:10:03.760 If it rains, I get pissed off because it gets wet. 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:08.200 I've got my notepad. We get packets every single day, 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.160 so getting ready. In a couple of weeks, we are 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.920 going to do a preseason game, and then two weeks 0:10:13.920 --> 0:10:16.480 after that we have Week one. So we're already now 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:20.679 getting every day packets of every single article that was 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:23.240 written of these teams, and when you are doing teams 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:26.680 brook that are big time markets, like your New York's, 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:31.120 your Philadelphia's, your Dallas. Dallas has like seven thousand writers. 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:34.680 Your pamphlet is this big and I am so anal 0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:37.440 and probably something I need to let go and maybe 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:39.720 baby Mac and Connie will teach me about that. I 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:42.360 don't have to read every single one. But because I'm 0:10:42.360 --> 0:10:45.320 a female, because I never played, because I never want 0:10:45.320 --> 0:10:48.560 the NASCAR experience at the football game, I feel like 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:51.320 I have to read everything. Then during the week we 0:10:51.440 --> 0:10:54.600 get on calls that are probably two hours long with 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:58.280 the head coach, the quarterback, the star of the defense, 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:02.000 the defense, which that teaches the defense. It's way more 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.760 preparation that i'll, like I said, i'll ever ever use. 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:08.040 But I am so like robotic that if I don't 0:11:08.080 --> 0:11:10.479 have that done, I feel like I will be paralyzed 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:13.200 on the field. Which probably is a great session for 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:15.160 doctor phil Why who. 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:26.520 Knows that type of preparedness that you are just describing 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:29.400 is so important. But you also said something that was 0:11:29.480 --> 0:11:33.560 very striking to me. You said, because I am female, 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:37.320 can you delve into that a little bit more? Is 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:38.120 it more pressure. 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:41.520 Yeah, I mean, listen, I'll be honest. I'm fortunate to 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:46.760 have one of three four spots on a Fox, NBC, ABC, 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:51.240 But those spots, I mean, this is the starring role 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:55.720 every sideline reporter wants. You know, I'm on the A crew. Yes, 0:11:55.800 --> 0:11:57.840 I worked my ass off to get here, but look, 0:11:57.880 --> 0:12:00.480 I never want to forget what got me here. And 0:12:00.520 --> 0:12:02.559 I think what got I know what got me here 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:05.320 was the chip on my shoulder. I didn't play this sport. 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:06.400 You know. 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:08.400 When I first came up in the industry, I didn't 0:12:08.400 --> 0:12:10.120 want to be like everybody else. I didn't want to 0:12:10.120 --> 0:12:13.679 wear even though now oversized blazers and baggy pants are 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:15.920 really in. And I was the first girl to maybe 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:18.400 clip in a couple of extensions, and you know, dye 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:20.480 my hair blonde a little bit and gave a gave 0:12:20.640 --> 0:12:23.440 a here's one from my mom, gave a hoot about 0:12:23.480 --> 0:12:26.080 what I, you know, looked like. But I also, I'm 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:28.280 basically like I talk like the guys, I study like 0:12:28.320 --> 0:12:31.000 the guys, drink and eat like the guys. But yeah, 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:34.520 I know that I will never have the experience of 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:37.240 going back in the locker room and knowing how to 0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:39.880 turn this thing around at half time. Because I'm a female. 0:12:40.120 --> 0:12:42.680 There is more pressure, I know it on me because 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:43.600 I am a female. 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:47.280 I've been thinking a lot about this lately, just how 0:12:47.480 --> 0:12:53.120 in both of our industries, really, what was always accepted 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:59.280 an acceptable behavior the sexualization of women and how women 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:01.640 were sexual life or even how they were spoken to 0:13:01.920 --> 0:13:06.719 or about, regardless of the quality of the work. Did 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:10.520 you have to deal with that acutely when you first 0:13:10.559 --> 0:13:11.400 started your career. 0:13:11.880 --> 0:13:15.200 You know, the crazy part is everybody always thinks it 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:19.720 comes from an athlete or a coach or my dog's 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:21.920 having his breakfast by the way, Sorry, I'm trying to 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:24.200 mute the mic every time he's like eating the kibble. 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:27.600 Yeah. It wasn't by athletes. 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:32.640 It wasn't by coaches, it wasn't by general managers, sands well, fans. Yeah, 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:35.760 and you know, my husband does not enjoy being on 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:39.640 the sidelines very much because fans are absolutely they've been marinating, 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:42.760 you know, since the morning. By the time they're at 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:46.440 their game, they are inebriated. I had to deal with 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.280 early in my career, and it's pretty interesting because it's 0:13:50.320 --> 0:13:52.640 something that I still think fuels me. I know it, 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:54.960 you know, it's something that always upset in my family. 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:59.480 Local writers. The stuff that was written about me in 0:13:59.600 --> 0:14:04.160 newspaper by local writers when I first came on the scene. 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:08.680 If I ever went back and posted some of that stuff, 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:13.120 it is mind blowing and wouldn't be allowed. And a 0:14:13.160 --> 0:14:16.600 lot of it was guys saw me as coming in 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:20.560 with the ESPN's young girl. They saw how coaches and 0:14:20.680 --> 0:14:24.680 athletes maybe treated me differently, or saw the attention that 0:14:24.720 --> 0:14:27.560 they gave me, and they would voice their opinion pretty 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:31.560 darn quick in their articles. And this stuff now would 0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:32.480 never be accepted. 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:35.320 Did you respond, did you feel the need to respond, 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:39.880 or did you was it? Don't honor that with a response. 0:14:40.600 --> 0:14:44.480 I try not to honor things, but I will never forget. 0:14:44.640 --> 0:14:50.240 I'm sure you're probably the same way. Anytime anything difficult 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:52.520 has happened in your life, you remember who was there 0:14:52.560 --> 0:14:55.120 and who wasn't. I'm really good at remembering what people 0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:59.720 said there. I went through an experience, obviously it's well documented, 0:14:59.720 --> 0:15:02.920 where I stalked and my stalker videotaped me in hotel rooms. 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:04.239 I went through a huge. 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:06.080 Trial with it. 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:09.920 And I remember before when my family knew that the 0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:14.200 FBI was investigating, we were told do not say a word. 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:16.680 Do not say a word, because they wanted to catch 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:19.440 him in the act. They didn't want him to throw 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.840 away evidence that he was keeping of all the places 0:15:22.840 --> 0:15:23.760 that he had stalked me. 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:26.880 And there was a real thought. 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:29.800 There was a lot of people said behind the scenes 0:15:29.800 --> 0:15:32.280 and even publicly, and I remember who they all are, 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:36.240 that I did this to myself for publicity. Look, it's 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:39.280 psycho and again things I need to let go in therapy. 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.760 I remember every single person that said I did it 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:45.880 to myself to help my career. And I've confronted some 0:15:45.920 --> 0:15:49.080 people because some of those people are in my industry 0:15:49.480 --> 0:15:53.200 and I see them on the sidelines and it's probably 0:15:53.240 --> 0:15:55.280 not healthy, but they try to be nice to me 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.800 and because they see where I am now after fifteen 0:15:58.880 --> 0:16:03.120 years later. I've had situations on the field where I'm 0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:05.000 talking to a head coach and the head coach is like, oh, 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:06.920 do you know so and so, And I'm like, sure do. 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.640 He said on his radio show that I deserved this 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.360 and I did it to myself to get higher. 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:14.400 How are you not healthy? Not the best thing to do, but. 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:17.240 Now, but you know what, come on, that's if you 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:21.160 need that for yourself. You're you're not supposed to be superhuman. 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:27.440 For God. That means I have stalkers, had them, there 0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:31.640 have been arrests made, I've been to court as well, 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.480 you know, and you know I've had to face stalkers 0:16:35.520 --> 0:16:39.240 and and and what happened when then you'll find this 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:44.400 too now as a mom, then there are certain things 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:48.720 that become so off limits and you will, you will 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:54.400 find that animal, ferocious person inside and you're and you're 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:58.680 not fine. But thank God that you you you reclaimed 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:02.160 that power and you fought it. You fought for yourself, 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:05.200 and in doing that as a public figure, you're not 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:08.159 taking it lining down. Who were the people that really 0:17:08.600 --> 0:17:10.840 were on your side that you were? 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:14.639 Family, your family, my family, a lot of coworkers you 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.080 know also too. And then I don't know, you know 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:21.040 what you've You've gone through so much in your life. 0:17:21.160 --> 0:17:23.880 I kind of like call that time in my life 0:17:23.960 --> 0:17:25.600 when I was trying to cope and deal with it 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:28.679 my glazed over time. I wasn't really present, I was 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:30.720 just glazed over. I was like, Hi, how are because 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.200 I was still on television and I wanted to show 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:35.439 everybody like, you know, there hadn't been an arrest. 0:17:35.480 --> 0:17:37.920 I was going through a trial. I'm fine, I'm good. 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:41.960 I have a kind of a mailbox, buy my emails 0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:46.439 where I pushed all the supportive emails from friends, friends 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:49.639 back home, friends in high school, and sometimes I'll go 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:52.720 back and read them. But it's yeah, like there were 0:17:52.760 --> 0:17:54.880 so many great people that reached out during men. 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:06.760 I want to pivot back to to parenthood for another minute, 0:18:06.800 --> 0:18:09.679 just because I'm so happy for you. I'm so happy 0:18:09.720 --> 0:18:12.560 for Mac. You got a little boy. Did you want 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:15.600 a boy or girl or did you have any Oh? 0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:16.840 I definitely wanted a boy. 0:18:16.920 --> 0:18:19.439 I mean he really didn't have a choice because I 0:18:19.640 --> 0:18:22.399 just we didn't have much left in the frozen bank. 0:18:22.480 --> 0:18:25.439 We had already lost two with another Saragate, and this 0:18:25.600 --> 0:18:28.040 was he was kind of like our last good one left. 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:32.119 So yes, we definitely definitely want to. He waited, just 0:18:32.240 --> 0:18:34.920 he was like, that's what everybody says. It's so funny. 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:39.040 My first daughter had been frozen for two years. Oh 0:18:39.040 --> 0:18:42.679 my yeah, yeah, she was in the freezer for two years. 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:46.159 All the other ones didn't take or took them, and 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:49.320 I lost, you know, and I I was like, just 0:18:49.560 --> 0:18:53.680 put the rest in, let's take you know. See what happens, 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:57.119 you know, but you know it's a very interesting thing. No, 0:18:57.359 --> 0:18:59.720 did you because when you have because I don't know 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:04.159 this world. But when you interview, do you find us? 0:19:04.160 --> 0:19:08.520 Are again? Do you get to know her? Yeah? 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:13.200 Yeah, we're very lucky we were aligned. So after our 0:19:13.280 --> 0:19:17.840 first experience where we finally decided to do Sarahgacy, it 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:19.720 was really hard to get to that point because it 0:19:19.760 --> 0:19:21.000 was just like, you still have hope. 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:21.240 Right. 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:24.879 My husband's a former NHL player, I'm very competitive in 0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:28.200 what I do. Haven't really dealt with much, I guess defeat, 0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:31.960 not winning, not being the top of your sport, your industry. 0:19:32.040 --> 0:19:34.199 So that was very hard kind of being like, we 0:19:34.240 --> 0:19:37.800 need help, and I think, well, I know when we 0:19:37.880 --> 0:19:41.200 decided that. On Easter of twenty twenty, when we're all 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:43.840 locked down. Normally we're with all our friends that have 0:19:43.960 --> 0:19:46.480 kids to celebrate Easter and go have a good time 0:19:46.520 --> 0:19:49.080 with them. We were all locked down and we didn't 0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:51.520 have kids, and I just remember being like, this sucks, 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:53.720 like it suck to be locked down anyways, but it 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.160 just we what were we doing. We need to start 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:57.960 a family, We need to get serious about this. So 0:19:58.000 --> 0:20:03.440 we decided then to find a saragacy group. Through loss 0:20:03.760 --> 0:20:06.879 we had gain. We had went one direction, we lost 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:10.479 two of our embryos, but then it led us to 0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:14.920 this other group and this lovely woman who runs a 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:17.080 I want to say company, but it's not. But it 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:21.600 is a company where she aligns people with sarrogates and 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:23.240 she became a family member. 0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:25.200 Her name is Stephanie. 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:28.760 She's with family Match consulting anybody that's looking for advice 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:32.439 or maybe help with this, I highly recommend her. She 0:20:32.600 --> 0:20:34.720 just holds your hand like you said, you didn't know anything. 0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:37.240 We didn't know anything, and it's a difficult and it's 0:20:37.240 --> 0:20:41.200 a really grueling process, especially when it doesn't work. Because 0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:45.520 I didn't have many embryos left. My doctor was very 0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:49.080 very strict, very thorough, very picky. 0:20:48.800 --> 0:20:49.960 In who he chose. 0:20:50.400 --> 0:20:54.399 We probably went through maybe I want to say, three 0:20:54.440 --> 0:20:58.560 to five women before we landed on our girl or woman, 0:20:58.680 --> 0:21:02.679 our saragate, our angel. And it consists of this in 0:21:02.720 --> 0:21:06.320 a nutshell. You first get a profile on them, you 0:21:06.359 --> 0:21:08.560 read all about them, you read about their life, they 0:21:08.600 --> 0:21:11.360 read about you. Then both parties decide if they want 0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:14.000 to meet. You get on a zoom, you meet them, 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:16.320