WEBVTT - I’m Living With My Ex-Husband, And It’s Better Than You Could Imagine! 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:17.119 Hey, I do Part two. 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:21.239 It's your celebrity mentor, Kathy Schwartz, and today I get 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.000 to connect with a real life single gal in her 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:28.680 chapter two era, who is going viral on TikTok for 0:00:28.760 --> 0:00:32.440 sharing her nomadic life choices and recently moving back in 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:35.360 with her ex husband from thirty two years ago. I 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:38.880 can't wait to hear more about her inspiring story. Please 0:00:38.920 --> 0:00:40.200 welcome Lynn to the pod. 0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:44.959 Hi Lynn, Hi, how are you? I'm great? How are 0:00:44.960 --> 0:00:45.440 you doing. 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:47.080 I'm awesome. 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:50.240 It's great to meet you, and we're just I've got 0:00:50.240 --> 0:00:51.640 so much I want to talk to you about. 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:52.560 Great. 0:00:52.960 --> 0:00:54.640 So this is I DO Part two. 0:00:55.360 --> 0:00:58.080 But before we can get into chapter two, we've got 0:00:58.080 --> 0:01:01.040 to start with your chapter one. So tell us all 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:03.600 a little bit about your first marriage. How old you 0:01:03.640 --> 0:01:04.720 were at the time, all that? 0:01:05.560 --> 0:01:09.559 Oh, that's great. Well, I was in my early twenties, 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:13.280 and I was I think about twenty four, twenty three, 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:16.959 twenty four, and I was living in la and it 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:20.800 was the early nineties and so much fun. So I 0:01:20.880 --> 0:01:23.240 had grown up. I was a dancer for most of 0:01:23.240 --> 0:01:25.760 my life, and so I had been in Europe for 0:01:25.800 --> 0:01:28.720 a two year stint and after that I was like 0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:31.360 I just can't go back to Memphis, Tennessee. So one 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.840 of my girlfriends, ironically, I'm in her house right now 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:37.399 in San Diego visiting her. But she had a dance 0:01:38.880 --> 0:01:41.399 squad of sorts called the All American Girls, and we 0:01:41.520 --> 0:01:45.160 performed for corporate events. So she said, come join my team, 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:48.960 and so I did, and we were owned by the 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.760 World Basketball League and then they folded, and so the 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:55.520 team folded, and so I was at a crossroads. I 0:01:55.560 --> 0:01:56.880 was like, what am I going to do? Do I 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:00.960 want to go back to Memphis or make it work 0:02:00.960 --> 0:02:04.480 in California. So, you know, I did what most of 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:06.720 us did back then. I got a cocktail waitress job. 0:02:06.840 --> 0:02:10.120 You know, good tips, good tips, it used to be. 0:02:10.120 --> 0:02:12.240 For sure, right, I mean, you could go anywhere in 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.960 America and really make a good living doing that. And 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.800 so there was a brand new nightclub opening up in 0:02:17.880 --> 0:02:23.360 Beverly Hills called Tattoo tat Ou and they had outposts 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:27.720 in New York and also Aspen, and so I went 0:02:27.800 --> 0:02:30.840 there and I got a job there as a cocktail waitress. 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:35.600 And it was there that I met Rick. He was 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:39.400 the bartender. And that was you know, because it was 0:02:39.440 --> 0:02:41.160 the early nineties, I mean, there was a lot of 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:44.880 partying going on. It was just a great time, so 0:02:45.040 --> 0:02:47.480 much fun. It was the kind of the OJ Simpson 0:02:47.560 --> 0:02:50.799 era and all of that Nicole Brown Simpson. That Rick 0:02:50.840 --> 0:02:54.280 and I were off that night, or we had worked 0:02:54.320 --> 0:02:56.639 and then it was kind after our shift, and so 0:02:56.760 --> 0:03:01.480 we were sitting in one of the you know booths. 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:05.400 They had these rounded booths, you know, so glamorous, and 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:07.200 so we're sitting in one of the booths and he 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:09.720 leans over to me and says, let's go get married. 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:12.160 And we have been dating, you know, we had been 0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:14.800 dating for a while months, I mean months right now. 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:16.600 How old are you at the time, ln, How old 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:17.160 were you? 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:20.520 You know, I'm around twenty three, twenty four years old, okay, 0:03:20.560 --> 0:03:22.240 which I have a daughter right now that's twenty four 0:03:22.320 --> 0:03:25.040 years old living here. So it's all just so surreal, 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:27.920 the whole thing. And so we're the same age. He's 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:31.480 actually a few months younger than me, and so okay, 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.880 so we so he says, let's let's get married. And 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.120 so we had been dating for a while and we 0:03:37.120 --> 0:03:40.400 were just we were so deeply madly in love. I mean, 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:43.800 we were just he carried me wherever we went. You know, 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:46.760 I mean, we were just all over each other all 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:47.120 the time. 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:51.040 It sounds idellic, lyn it sounds ideal, right, right, what 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:55.480 can go wrong? What could possibly go wrong? You're gonna 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:55.960 tell me. 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:00.600 So anyway, So we leave and we go. We find 0:04:00.600 --> 0:04:03.080 this woman in the middle of the night that's willing 0:04:03.120 --> 0:04:05.600 to marry us. We like rouse her out of her 0:04:05.680 --> 0:04:07.840 out of bed, and so she's got her robe on 0:04:07.960 --> 0:04:09.640 and I think she puts a bagel in the in 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:13.000 the toaster oven and she's eating her bagel, and you know, 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:16.679 we're sitting down and you know, she marries us, okay, 0:04:17.520 --> 0:04:20.760 and we keep working at the bar, and we're just 0:04:20.800 --> 0:04:24.160 having a blast, roomming so much fun, and you know, 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:27.640 on and on it goes, and we're still partying, you know, 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:31.320 and which means drinking and drugging, you know, a little 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:35.719 snorting a little of this, and drinking a lot of that. 0:04:36.200 --> 0:04:40.640 And and I it was working for me, you know, 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:43.360 it was just really fun and we both were having 0:04:43.400 --> 0:04:45.560 a great time. And then there was something that happened 0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:48.640 where there was a time when I had gone to 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:52.280 Las Vegas with a friend and it was during that 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:56.919 trip that I realized that I had a problem that 0:04:57.000 --> 0:05:01.160 I couldn't stop, and it scared me. And I went 0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:03.359 back home to Rivic and I said, you know, I 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:06.000 think I have a problem. And we're kids, I mean, 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:08.960 you know, and he says, don't worry, we just won't 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.919 do it anymore. And I was like, oh, thank goodness, 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.760 you know, I'm so relieved, and you know, it's just 0:05:14.800 --> 0:05:16.480 going to dust it under the rug and it just 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:19.240 won't be any problem. Well, a couple of nights later, 0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:22.120 I called him. He's at the bar and he's partying. 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:26.000 He's having fun, you know. And what that did for 0:05:26.080 --> 0:05:29.000 me that Rip didn't do anything wrong. But what happened 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:32.680 for me, because this is my story, is that I 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:37.040 internalized that I was alone and that I didn't know. 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.400 I just didn't have the tools. I didn't have the skills. 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:42.400 I was just a young girl, and I didn't really 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.599 know at the time that I could just ask somebody else. 0:05:44.640 --> 0:05:46.440 I could have called my mom, you know, I could 0:05:46.440 --> 0:05:50.279 have said to anybody. But I didn't. I really didn't 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:54.640 know it, you know. And so what happened instead is 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:58.000 that I continued to use and the shame spirals started. 0:05:58.160 --> 0:05:59.960 And so that's a very real thing, and a dick 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.880 you know, so you know, you have this shame spiral 0:06:02.920 --> 0:06:04.880 and then the only thing that relieves that is yet 0:06:04.920 --> 0:06:06.840 another drink or drug, and then it just kind of 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:09.360 starts the whole thing over and over. And so I 0:06:09.440 --> 0:06:12.000 was lying to Rick and hiding from him, and he 0:06:12.240 --> 0:06:15.560 trusted me so much because we did I mean, we 0:06:15.560 --> 0:06:19.400 were just like that. And I would just lie just 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:21.839 to stay out, just to keep using, you know, and 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:23.200 he'd be at home in bed and he's like, are 0:06:23.279 --> 0:06:28.040 you coming home? Like you know, And so eventually, over months, 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:34.400 you know, I eventually just stopped coming home, and my parents, 0:06:34.400 --> 0:06:36.320 you know, my family was trying to find me and 0:06:36.360 --> 0:06:39.480 get involved in all of that. But fast forward all 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:43.440 of that to say that we were married. For that 0:06:43.560 --> 0:06:46.880 was about eight months into the marriage where I stopped 0:06:46.920 --> 0:06:51.440 coming home, and so we actually got an annulment and 0:06:51.600 --> 0:06:54.440 he made all that happen, and I was glad to 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:57.160 be rid of the marriage. It was terrible. I was 0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:01.000 just became kind of dead inside and just wanted to use. 0:07:01.240 --> 0:07:04.240 And then I hit bottom and I my dad came 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:08.000 out and got me and I went to treatment for 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:12.080 you know, a long time, for a year actually, and 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:16.280 today I have been sober twenty eight years and rat wow. Yeah, Oh, 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:18.920 it's amazing. It's the greatest thing. It's one of the 0:07:18.960 --> 0:07:21.480 best things that's ever happened to me. And so it's 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:23.400 part of like who I am. I love sharing my 0:07:23.480 --> 0:07:26.920 story because it's one of hope and it's possible, and 0:07:27.760 --> 0:07:29.040 you know, if it can happen for me, it can 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:32.960 happen for anybody. And yeah, wow, So there's all that. 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:37.119 You know, the I did end up marrying somebody else, 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:39.560 and you know, so did Rick. 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:41.440 Well wait a minute, I want to before you got 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:41.840 into that. 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:45.119 Did when you and Rick, when you had the marriage 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.360 in Noll, did you guys keep in contact at all? 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:49.360 Or did it with just a hard out? 0:07:49.600 --> 0:07:53.200 Yeah? So, well so because I was still a sick 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:54.720 because I was a sick person. 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:56.000 He was not. 0:07:56.360 --> 0:07:59.360 He was doing his own I can't speak for him, 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:01.680 but because he was doing his own work and his 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.840 own healing in his own way. It took me from 0:08:04.880 --> 0:08:07.520 the time that Rick and I got the annulment, it 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:11.160 still took me a few years to get clean got it. 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:13.840 So I was like in and out of rehabs. So 0:08:14.000 --> 0:08:17.400 for me, I was totally checked out. So I couldn't 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:20.680 keep in touch with him because I was still sick. Yeah, 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:24.200 so I so Rick had to do his own healing 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:27.000 without me, so to speak, do you know what I mean? 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:28.880 I think we all have to do our own healing, 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:29.280 don't you. 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:34.120 Ultimately yes, but to answer, just in the moment, we 0:08:34.160 --> 0:08:38.840 didn't stay in touch. So he Yeah, so he did 0:08:38.840 --> 0:08:40.839 what he did, and then I kept kind of using 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:42.959 an in and out and all of that. And then 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:45.560 once I worked the steps of AA and I got 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:49.359 to be amend's part. You know, I made my amends. 0:08:49.000 --> 0:08:51.640 With Rick, and I'm very familiar with AA, so I 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:55.520 understand what that is, the twelve step program. So after 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:58.120 how much later you did get married a second time? 0:08:58.200 --> 0:09:01.760 Tell us a little bit about that. How long it lasted, kids, 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:02.240 all of that. 0:09:02.880 --> 0:09:07.600 Yeah, Yeah, so I got married probably a year outside 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:10.360 of when I stayed in the rehab for a year, 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:13.480 and then I was married within a year after that. 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:17.400 So I was thirty one years old when I got married, 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.160 and I spent my thirtieth birthday, and so I was 0:09:20.160 --> 0:09:25.200 probably thirty two actually when I got married, and we 0:09:25.280 --> 0:09:27.440 maybe even thirty three. It's funny, you know, I don't 0:09:27.440 --> 0:09:29.960 think about the days, but yeah, I had my first 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:32.160 daughter when I was thirty four, and my second when 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:33.960 I was thirty nine. And so I got pregnant on 0:09:34.000 --> 0:09:37.839 my honeymoon with my second husband, so that was probably 0:09:37.880 --> 0:09:42.000 thirty three, right, wow. Yeah, and so yeah, so we 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:46.240 were married for seven eight years. We were married for 0:09:46.280 --> 0:09:50.320 eight years, and I have now not been married for 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:54.719 eighteen years. So just to kind of fast fact, So, yes, 0:09:54.760 --> 0:09:57.240 I have two amazing, gorgeous daughters who have never seen 0:09:57.240 --> 0:10:01.560 their mom hire drunk or anything. I've always been, I know, 0:10:02.720 --> 0:10:03.680 breaking the cycle. 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.280 Yeah, you're breaking the cycle. Your smile, I mean, you 0:10:06.640 --> 0:10:09.959 have the energy. I'm curious though, the first marriage no 0:10:10.120 --> 0:10:15.040 kids and annulled. The second marriage two daughters. Yeah, when 0:10:15.080 --> 0:10:17.320 did you start feeling so that complicates things? 0:10:17.400 --> 0:10:17.559 Right? 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:21.000 When did you start feeling much so that things weren't 0:10:21.040 --> 0:10:23.000 working out in that marriage? 0:10:23.640 --> 0:10:27.840 You know, if I'm really honest, which I am, I 0:10:27.880 --> 0:10:31.079 had concerns from the beginning. You know, I was right 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:33.960 out of rehab. I did not know who I was. 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.840 I had so much going on, you know, and I 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:40.959 was frightened. You know, I was a really frightened person. 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:43.800 I had burned all my bridges I had, you know, 0:10:44.040 --> 0:10:47.320 was again fresh out of rehab. And like really didn't 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.760 know what to do with myself and my second husband. 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:54.240 You know, his name is Steve, and he is very 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:57.239 white Night, you know, I mean, he is the quintessential 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:01.000 White Night. Yeah, and so I just freaking fell like 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.240 cook Line and Sinker. I mean, he was wanted to 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:05.559 save me, and I was like, well, I obviously need 0:11:05.559 --> 0:11:07.880 to be saved. But I did have you know, I 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.599 have a really close relationship with the God of my understanding, 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:14.640 and so I did have this sort of back ground, 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:22.080 like you it's your choice, but you know maybe. 0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:23.440 You know, so was the if you will, with the 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:26.880 hurdle realizing that you sort of had to find out 0:11:26.920 --> 0:11:30.720 who you were in that marriage that you felt like, 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:33.040 as you say, he was the white Knight he rescued you. 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:35.599 Did you begin to feel I don't need rescuing. 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:38.680 That's exactly what happened. So I had such a kick 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:46.120 ass program in recovery, I mean, and I just I 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:48.720 really got to work on myself. I mean I really 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:52.240 set to becoming a whole person. And I had a 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:55.000 great sponsor, and I worked the stuff. I did everything 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:58.320 she told me to do. I took every everything I 0:11:58.400 --> 0:11:59.640 wanted it so badly. 0:12:00.000 --> 0:12:03.920 A Walking Talking advertisement for AA twelve. I'm just going 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:06.360 to say, I'm very familiar with the program, and you 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:07.719 have definitely. 0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:08.280 Worked it, for sure. 0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:09.600 I have worked it. 0:12:10.040 --> 0:12:15.079 Okay, So, now you've been single eighteen years, you decided 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:18.079 to start living this nomad, you know, kind of life 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:22.480 after your second divorce. I'm so curious because I was 0:12:22.520 --> 0:12:25.440 married almost forty six years. So this I find this fascinating. 0:12:26.040 --> 0:12:29.920 Why did you choose that path? And then, you know, 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:32.160 why did you choose that path rather than staying where 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:34.320 you were and rebuilding your life in the same area 0:12:34.640 --> 0:12:35.320 that you'd been in. 0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:39.560 Yeah, well, so I haven't been married for eighteen years, 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:42.640 so I've been single rebuilding my life in Sarasota all 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:45.680 this time, right up until two and a half years ago. 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:49.800 So what I did is when I left the marriage, 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:54.080 I moved into a house with my daughters and we 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:57.200 were sharing custody. And I had been a stay at 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.760 home mom, So I was like, what am I going 0:12:59.800 --> 0:13:03.880 to do, you know, to like support myself and I 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:05.840 you know, as a dancer for many years, I know 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:08.520 about nutrition. I've got a farmer's market mom. I'm a 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:11.000 farmer's market girl. You know, grew up in the South. 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.640 I know all about it. I know about the benefits 0:13:13.679 --> 0:13:17.720 of food as medicine, all of that. And so I 0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:20.480 when I left the marriage with my sec with Seve, 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:25.840 I started getting depressed, and you know, I didn't want 0:13:25.880 --> 0:13:28.240 to take because of my recovery, I did not want 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:31.640 to take an antidepressant, but I ended up taking one 0:13:32.280 --> 0:13:35.079 because I was started snapping at my girls and I 0:13:35.240 --> 0:13:39.280 was I was noticing myself, like my my restless, irritable 0:13:39.320 --> 0:13:42.560 and discontent was like cropping up. And that scared me. 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:45.480 And so I did take an antidepressant for you maybe 0:13:45.520 --> 0:13:47.920 a year or so. But within that time, I don't 0:13:47.920 --> 0:13:51.320 remember which came first, but I decided to do a 0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:54.760 juice clean for myself. And nobody in my town was 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:58.920 doing them. So I put together this this raw food 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:02.640 and juice cleans. I did it for five days and 0:14:03.160 --> 0:14:07.160 I just it really just reset me in a way 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:11.920 that yeah, wow, just everything you know, really just reset me. 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:16.000 And so I started carrying my little juice around. And 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:20.160 you know, this was I was maybe forty two or 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:23.000 something like that. I was carrying my juice around and 0:14:23.240 --> 0:14:25.120 people were saying, you know, where did you get that? 0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.040 What are you doing? And do it for me, do 0:14:27.120 --> 0:14:29.640 it for me. And so I started taking groups of 0:14:29.680 --> 0:14:32.080 ten people at a time and doing it out of 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:35.760 my house and doing this food and juice cleanse. And 0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:37.960 so one of my neighbors came over and I was like, 0:14:38.000 --> 0:14:39.480 I don't know what I'm going to do for work, 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:41.200 you know, I'm just what am I going to do? 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:45.400 I'd been working at this deli part time, and I 0:14:45.520 --> 0:14:47.920 just couldn't figure it out because I wanted to be 0:14:47.960 --> 0:14:50.120 home with my girls. So that's why I was trying 0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:53.240 to make it work. That was my value, right, Yeah. 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:55.160 And so because obviously I could just go get a 0:14:55.160 --> 0:14:56.800 corporate job, but I didn't want to do that. 0:14:57.280 --> 0:14:59.920 Well, especially what you'd been through, I think you realized 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:04.520 the importance of family and raising your kids, I mean clearly, And. 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:06.320 It was just a decision I made. It was like 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:08.960 I want to do it this way, and and I'm 0:15:08.960 --> 0:15:11.000 still like that. I think I'm just wired that way too, 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:14.120 you know. And and they were little, I mean they 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.040 were two and seven, they were. 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:20.440 Babies, which can I just say, as uh, what you'd 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.520 been through and then to start raising a two year 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:24.080 old and a seven year old on your own is 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:25.520 just it's addable. 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:27.440 I mean, that's the that's the least of it is. 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:28.600 How admirable? 0:15:28.960 --> 0:15:31.760 Oh well thanks? 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:43.600 Okay, so let's fast forward to now. 0:15:44.200 --> 0:15:48.880 You started sharing your nomadic lifestyle on TikTok, which got 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:53.080 my attention. What has the response been from other single women? 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:53.920 Let's start there. 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:57.640 You know what, so what about the about the nomadic stuff? 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:01.720 Well, I mean you you recently really okay did we 0:16:01.720 --> 0:16:03.880 all know this? Back to California, you're in now roommates 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:06.920 with your first ex husband thirty two years ago. 0:16:07.640 --> 0:16:08.400 You're sharing it. 0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:11.000 All on TikTok, and as I just said, it's getting 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:14.280 a lot of attention. Yes, how did that idea to 0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:16.600 live together again come to fruition? 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.720 Yeah, that's a great question. I mean, you know, it's 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:22.320 a lot, it's a long life to like, you know, 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:26.240 cram into a cute little podcast, right, And so I'm like, how, 0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.360 I mean, you know, we want to wrap it up 0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:31.440 a little bit, but it's like it's been a journey 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:37.520 and so basically, let's see, so the nomadic thing happened 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:39.840 when both of my girls left home. They said, we 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:42.640 don't want to be in Sarasota anymore. Essentially, I mean, 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:48.080 this is just a very short, hard and fast yeah conversation. 0:16:48.240 --> 0:16:51.240 But essentially, both my girls did not want to stay 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:55.600 in Sarasota. My oldest daughter moved to California and I 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:59.400 in the day she moved to California, Mackenzie and I 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:02.120 dropped dropped her off at the airport. We came back 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:03.520 to the house and we looked at each other and 0:17:03.520 --> 0:17:06.200 we were like, this, ain't it. We don't want to 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:09.080 be here without her, you know, we just it just 0:17:09.480 --> 0:17:13.919 it was really hard. So then, so basically what happened 0:17:13.960 --> 0:17:16.439 is I had this business for twelve years. I had 0:17:16.440 --> 0:17:20.600 a cold press juice company. Is where I was leading to, Yes, 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:24.479 it's okay. I had that for twelve years, and I 0:17:24.560 --> 0:17:27.240 literally carried that thing on my back. It was my identity, 0:17:27.320 --> 0:17:29.320 it was my whole life. But I was able to 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:31.080 stay at home with the girls. They became part of 0:17:31.119 --> 0:17:33.119 my business. I had a food truck for seven years. 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:35.240 I had a brick and mortar for three years. But 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:39.360 essentially why I came to the nomadic lifestyle is that 0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:44.600 after COVID. Once COVID happened, I you know, it became 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:48.560 harder and harder to sustain my company for various reasons, 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:51.879 from we don't have to get into but suffice it 0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:53.800 to say. I was just like, this is just not 0:17:53.880 --> 0:17:56.440 working anymore. I just don't want to do this anymore. 0:17:56.520 --> 0:17:59.280 I mean, my feet started hurting my body. This is important, 0:17:59.520 --> 0:18:00.919 this is this is what I'm going to say right 0:18:00.920 --> 0:18:09.040 now is important. My body started giving me cues like heysis, Hey, 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.040 I don't know what you're doing, but we're not going 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:13.280 with you. So you're going to need to do something 0:18:13.320 --> 0:18:18.199 different or we're going to break down completely. And so 0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:20.840 it was kind of a whisper. It was kind of 0:18:20.840 --> 0:18:22.760 a you know, and then it started getting like I 0:18:22.760 --> 0:18:25.119 started with my feet, so my feet because I was 0:18:25.160 --> 0:18:27.680 standing for twelve I tell people I stood for twelve 0:18:27.760 --> 0:18:31.359 years basically, you know, literally, you know, and it just 0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:34.760 you can't do that and not have consequences in your body. 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:35.359 Yeah. 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:38.480 Well, and I will say, yeah, I think a lot 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:40.320 of people don't listen to their bodies. 0:18:40.560 --> 0:18:43.960 Yeah, the body speaks first, right, well, the ego speaks first, 0:18:43.960 --> 0:18:46.879 but you know, the body doesn't lie. That's what I 0:18:47.040 --> 0:18:50.280 meant to say, You're right, and yeah, so the body 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:55.040 doesn't lie. So I started, you know, listening, and I 0:18:55.080 --> 0:18:57.479 have a coach. I've had a coach for eighteen years 0:18:57.520 --> 0:19:00.480 since I was going through my divorce with you know, 0:19:00.560 --> 0:19:04.640 their dad, and and so we just started working this, 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:06.320 you know, like, what am I going to do? What 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:07.360 are my options? 0:19:07.560 --> 0:19:07.760 You know? 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:12.239 This is my livelihood, this is my identity, this is 0:19:12.280 --> 0:19:14.280 my whole life. This is how I've raised my daughter's 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:16.439 this is where I am, this is I pay for 0:19:16.520 --> 0:19:19.879 everything this way. You know, I don't want to go 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:23.600 work for somebody else. What can pay me enough? Where 0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:25.480 do I don't even want If I did something else, 0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:28.159 I wouldn't even want to be in Sarasota. So it 0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:33.399 was just listening, journaling my coach talking about it. Telling 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:37.119 the truth, you know, the number one tool is, you know, 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:40.439 go to observation, like what's happening, Tell the truth about it, 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.560 write it down, tell your trusted friend, your trusted coach, 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:46.760 you know. And so I really went to work on this. 0:19:46.840 --> 0:19:49.520 And I have the skills because of my recovery and 0:19:49.560 --> 0:19:51.960 my history and all of these things. So they've just 0:19:52.080 --> 0:19:55.600 expanded over the years and deepened in different different ways. 0:19:56.520 --> 0:19:59.399 And so so that's kind of what I did in 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:03.040 a nutshell well with my coach, And there are very 0:20:03.040 --> 0:20:06.560 specific steps I did but essentially I got to the 0:20:06.560 --> 0:20:09.520 place where I was like, I will walk out this 0:20:09.640 --> 0:20:13.040 door of this company and leave the key behind, like 0:20:13.080 --> 0:20:18.119 I'm not attached, I don't care. Something's got to change. 0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:20.679 And then I met my friend Peter quickly. He was 0:20:20.680 --> 0:20:23.080 a nomad, and so I was like, I want to 0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:25.520 do what you're doing. And so I saw it in 0:20:25.560 --> 0:20:28.520 somebody else and this is the way life is, right, Yeah, 0:20:28.640 --> 0:20:30.200 that's why you and I are on this podcast. 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:34.320 Yes, And I will say that's not coincidental that, you know, 0:20:34.400 --> 0:20:35.800 this all came to be with Peter. 0:20:36.200 --> 0:20:39.000 I would say I would definitely say that as well. 0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:41.240 And so I said to him, how do I do 0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:43.679