Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two.
Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor, Kathy Schwartz, and today I get
Speaker 2: to connect with a real life single gal in her
Speaker 2: chapter two era, who is going viral on TikTok for
Speaker 2: sharing her nomadic life choices and recently moving back in
Speaker 2: with her ex husband from thirty two years ago. I
Speaker 2: can't wait to hear more about her inspiring story. Please
Speaker 2: welcome Lynn to the pod.
Speaker 1: Hi Lynn, Hi, how are you? I'm great? How are
Speaker 1: you doing.
Speaker 3: I'm awesome.
Speaker 2: It's great to meet you, and we're just I've got
Speaker 2: so much I want to talk to you about.
Speaker 3: Great.
Speaker 1: So this is I DO Part two.
Speaker 2: But before we can get into chapter two, we've got
Speaker 2: to start with your chapter one. So tell us all
Speaker 2: a little bit about your first marriage. How old you
Speaker 2: were at the time, all that?
Speaker 3: Oh, that's great. Well, I was in my early twenties,
Speaker 3: and I was I think about twenty four, twenty three,
Speaker 3: twenty four, and I was living in la and it
Speaker 3: was the early nineties and so much fun. So I
Speaker 3: had grown up. I was a dancer for most of
Speaker 3: my life, and so I had been in Europe for
Speaker 3: a two year stint and after that I was like
Speaker 3: I just can't go back to Memphis, Tennessee. So one
Speaker 3: of my girlfriends, ironically, I'm in her house right now
Speaker 3: in San Diego visiting her. But she had a dance
Speaker 3: squad of sorts called the All American Girls, and we
Speaker 3: performed for corporate events. So she said, come join my team,
Speaker 3: and so I did, and we were owned by the
Speaker 3: World Basketball League and then they folded, and so the
Speaker 3: team folded, and so I was at a crossroads. I
Speaker 3: was like, what am I going to do? Do I
Speaker 3: want to go back to Memphis or make it work
Speaker 3: in California. So, you know, I did what most of
Speaker 3: us did back then. I got a cocktail waitress job.
Speaker 1: You know, good tips, good tips, it used to be.
Speaker 3: For sure, right, I mean, you could go anywhere in
Speaker 3: America and really make a good living doing that. And
Speaker 3: so there was a brand new nightclub opening up in
Speaker 3: Beverly Hills called Tattoo tat Ou and they had outposts
Speaker 3: in New York and also Aspen, and so I went
Speaker 3: there and I got a job there as a cocktail waitress.
Speaker 3: And it was there that I met Rick. He was
Speaker 3: the bartender. And that was you know, because it was
Speaker 3: the early nineties, I mean, there was a lot of
Speaker 3: partying going on. It was just a great time, so
Speaker 3: much fun. It was the kind of the OJ Simpson
Speaker 3: era and all of that Nicole Brown Simpson. That Rick
Speaker 3: and I were off that night, or we had worked
Speaker 3: and then it was kind after our shift, and so
Speaker 3: we were sitting in one of the you know booths.
Speaker 3: They had these rounded booths, you know, so glamorous, and
Speaker 3: so we're sitting in one of the booths and he
Speaker 3: leans over to me and says, let's go get married.
Speaker 3: And we have been dating, you know, we had been
Speaker 3: dating for a while months, I mean months right now.
Speaker 1: How old are you at the time, ln, How old
Speaker 1: were you?
Speaker 3: You know, I'm around twenty three, twenty four years old, okay,
Speaker 3: which I have a daughter right now that's twenty four
Speaker 3: years old living here. So it's all just so surreal,
Speaker 3: the whole thing. And so we're the same age. He's
Speaker 3: actually a few months younger than me, and so okay,
Speaker 3: so we so he says, let's let's get married. And
Speaker 3: so we had been dating for a while and we
Speaker 3: were just we were so deeply madly in love. I mean,
Speaker 3: we were just he carried me wherever we went. You know,
Speaker 3: I mean, we were just all over each other all
Speaker 3: the time.
Speaker 1: It sounds idellic, lyn it sounds ideal, right, right, what
Speaker 1: can go wrong? What could possibly go wrong? You're gonna
Speaker 1: tell me.
Speaker 3: So anyway, So we leave and we go. We find
Speaker 3: this woman in the middle of the night that's willing
Speaker 3: to marry us. We like rouse her out of her
Speaker 3: out of bed, and so she's got her robe on
Speaker 3: and I think she puts a bagel in the in
Speaker 3: the toaster oven and she's eating her bagel, and you know,
Speaker 3: we're sitting down and you know, she marries us, okay,
Speaker 3: and we keep working at the bar, and we're just
Speaker 3: having a blast, roomming so much fun, and you know,
Speaker 3: on and on it goes, and we're still partying, you know,
Speaker 3: and which means drinking and drugging, you know, a little
Speaker 3: snorting a little of this, and drinking a lot of that.
Speaker 3: And and I it was working for me, you know,
Speaker 3: it was just really fun and we both were having
Speaker 3: a great time. And then there was something that happened
Speaker 3: where there was a time when I had gone to
Speaker 3: Las Vegas with a friend and it was during that
Speaker 3: trip that I realized that I had a problem that
Speaker 3: I couldn't stop, and it scared me. And I went
Speaker 3: back home to Rivic and I said, you know, I
Speaker 3: think I have a problem. And we're kids, I mean,
Speaker 3: you know, and he says, don't worry, we just won't
Speaker 3: do it anymore. And I was like, oh, thank goodness,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm so relieved, and you know, it's just
Speaker 3: going to dust it under the rug and it just
Speaker 3: won't be any problem. Well, a couple of nights later,
Speaker 3: I called him. He's at the bar and he's partying.
Speaker 3: He's having fun, you know. And what that did for
Speaker 3: me that Rip didn't do anything wrong. But what happened
Speaker 3: for me, because this is my story, is that I
Speaker 3: internalized that I was alone and that I didn't know.
Speaker 3: I just didn't have the tools. I didn't have the skills.
Speaker 3: I was just a young girl, and I didn't really
Speaker 3: know at the time that I could just ask somebody else.
Speaker 3: I could have called my mom, you know, I could
Speaker 3: have said to anybody. But I didn't. I really didn't
Speaker 3: know it, you know. And so what happened instead is
Speaker 3: that I continued to use and the shame spirals started.
Speaker 3: And so that's a very real thing, and a dick
Speaker 3: you know, so you know, you have this shame spiral
Speaker 3: and then the only thing that relieves that is yet
Speaker 3: another drink or drug, and then it just kind of
Speaker 3: starts the whole thing over and over. And so I
Speaker 3: was lying to Rick and hiding from him, and he
Speaker 3: trusted me so much because we did I mean, we
Speaker 3: were just like that. And I would just lie just
Speaker 3: to stay out, just to keep using, you know, and
Speaker 3: he'd be at home in bed and he's like, are
Speaker 3: you coming home? Like you know, And so eventually, over months,
Speaker 3: you know, I eventually just stopped coming home, and my parents,
Speaker 3: you know, my family was trying to find me and
Speaker 3: get involved in all of that. But fast forward all
Speaker 3: of that to say that we were married. For that
Speaker 3: was about eight months into the marriage where I stopped
Speaker 3: coming home, and so we actually got an annulment and
Speaker 3: he made all that happen, and I was glad to
Speaker 3: be rid of the marriage. It was terrible. I was
Speaker 3: just became kind of dead inside and just wanted to use.
Speaker 3: And then I hit bottom and I my dad came
Speaker 3: out and got me and I went to treatment for
Speaker 3: you know, a long time, for a year actually, and
Speaker 3: today I have been sober twenty eight years and rat wow. Yeah, Oh,
Speaker 3: it's amazing. It's the greatest thing. It's one of the
Speaker 3: best things that's ever happened to me. And so it's
Speaker 3: part of like who I am. I love sharing my
Speaker 3: story because it's one of hope and it's possible, and
Speaker 3: you know, if it can happen for me, it can
Speaker 3: happen for anybody. And yeah, wow, So there's all that.
Speaker 3: You know, the I did end up marrying somebody else,
Speaker 3: and you know, so did Rick.
Speaker 1: Well wait a minute, I want to before you got
Speaker 1: into that.
Speaker 2: Did when you and Rick, when you had the marriage
Speaker 2: in Noll, did you guys keep in contact at all?
Speaker 1: Or did it with just a hard out?
Speaker 3: Yeah? So, well so because I was still a sick
Speaker 3: because I was a sick person.
Speaker 1: He was not.
Speaker 3: He was doing his own I can't speak for him,
Speaker 3: but because he was doing his own work and his
Speaker 3: own healing in his own way. It took me from
Speaker 3: the time that Rick and I got the annulment, it
Speaker 3: still took me a few years to get clean got it.
Speaker 3: So I was like in and out of rehabs. So
Speaker 3: for me, I was totally checked out. So I couldn't
Speaker 3: keep in touch with him because I was still sick. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so I so Rick had to do his own healing
Speaker 3: without me, so to speak, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: I think we all have to do our own healing,
Speaker 1: don't you.
Speaker 3: Ultimately yes, but to answer, just in the moment, we
Speaker 3: didn't stay in touch. So he Yeah, so he did
Speaker 3: what he did, and then I kept kind of using
Speaker 3: an in and out and all of that. And then
Speaker 3: once I worked the steps of AA and I got
Speaker 3: to be amend's part. You know, I made my amends.
Speaker 2: With Rick, and I'm very familiar with AA, so I
Speaker 2: understand what that is, the twelve step program. So after
Speaker 2: how much later you did get married a second time?
Speaker 2: Tell us a little bit about that. How long it lasted, kids,
Speaker 2: all of that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, so I got married probably a year outside
Speaker 3: of when I stayed in the rehab for a year,
Speaker 3: and then I was married within a year after that.
Speaker 3: So I was thirty one years old when I got married,
Speaker 3: and I spent my thirtieth birthday, and so I was
Speaker 3: probably thirty two actually when I got married, and we
Speaker 3: maybe even thirty three. It's funny, you know, I don't
Speaker 3: think about the days, but yeah, I had my first
Speaker 3: daughter when I was thirty four, and my second when
Speaker 3: I was thirty nine. And so I got pregnant on
Speaker 3: my honeymoon with my second husband, so that was probably
Speaker 3: thirty three, right, wow. Yeah, and so yeah, so we
Speaker 3: were married for seven eight years. We were married for
Speaker 3: eight years, and I have now not been married for
Speaker 3: eighteen years. So just to kind of fast fact, So, yes,
Speaker 3: I have two amazing, gorgeous daughters who have never seen
Speaker 3: their mom hire drunk or anything. I've always been, I know,
Speaker 3: breaking the cycle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're breaking the cycle. Your smile, I mean, you
Speaker 2: have the energy. I'm curious though, the first marriage no
Speaker 2: kids and annulled. The second marriage two daughters. Yeah, when
Speaker 2: did you start feeling so that complicates things?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: When did you start feeling much so that things weren't
Speaker 2: working out in that marriage?
Speaker 3: You know, if I'm really honest, which I am, I
Speaker 3: had concerns from the beginning. You know, I was right
Speaker 3: out of rehab. I did not know who I was.
Speaker 3: I had so much going on, you know, and I
Speaker 3: was frightened. You know, I was a really frightened person.
Speaker 3: I had burned all my bridges I had, you know,
Speaker 3: was again fresh out of rehab. And like really didn't
Speaker 3: know what to do with myself and my second husband.
Speaker 3: You know, his name is Steve, and he is very
Speaker 3: white Night, you know, I mean, he is the quintessential
Speaker 3: White Night. Yeah, and so I just freaking fell like
Speaker 3: cook Line and Sinker. I mean, he was wanted to
Speaker 3: save me, and I was like, well, I obviously need
Speaker 3: to be saved. But I did have you know, I
Speaker 3: have a really close relationship with the God of my understanding,
Speaker 3: and so I did have this sort of back ground,
Speaker 3: like you it's your choice, but you know maybe.
Speaker 2: You know, so was the if you will, with the
Speaker 2: hurdle realizing that you sort of had to find out
Speaker 2: who you were in that marriage that you felt like,
Speaker 2: as you say, he was the white Knight he rescued you.
Speaker 2: Did you begin to feel I don't need rescuing.
Speaker 3: That's exactly what happened. So I had such a kick
Speaker 3: ass program in recovery, I mean, and I just I
Speaker 3: really got to work on myself. I mean I really
Speaker 3: set to becoming a whole person. And I had a
Speaker 3: great sponsor, and I worked the stuff. I did everything
Speaker 3: she told me to do. I took every everything I
Speaker 3: wanted it so badly.
Speaker 2: A Walking Talking advertisement for AA twelve. I'm just going
Speaker 2: to say, I'm very familiar with the program, and you
Speaker 2: have definitely.
Speaker 1: Worked it, for sure.
Speaker 3: I have worked it.
Speaker 2: Okay, So, now you've been single eighteen years, you decided
Speaker 2: to start living this nomad, you know, kind of life
Speaker 2: after your second divorce. I'm so curious because I was
Speaker 2: married almost forty six years. So this I find this fascinating.
Speaker 2: Why did you choose that path? And then, you know,
Speaker 2: why did you choose that path rather than staying where
Speaker 2: you were and rebuilding your life in the same area
Speaker 2: that you'd been in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, so I haven't been married for eighteen years,
Speaker 3: so I've been single rebuilding my life in Sarasota all
Speaker 3: this time, right up until two and a half years ago.
Speaker 3: So what I did is when I left the marriage,
Speaker 3: I moved into a house with my daughters and we
Speaker 3: were sharing custody. And I had been a stay at
Speaker 3: home mom, So I was like, what am I going
Speaker 3: to do, you know, to like support myself and I
Speaker 3: you know, as a dancer for many years, I know
Speaker 3: about nutrition. I've got a farmer's market mom. I'm a
Speaker 3: farmer's market girl. You know, grew up in the South.
Speaker 3: I know all about it. I know about the benefits
Speaker 3: of food as medicine, all of that. And so I
Speaker 3: when I left the marriage with my sec with Seve,
Speaker 3: I started getting depressed, and you know, I didn't want
Speaker 3: to take because of my recovery, I did not want
Speaker 3: to take an antidepressant, but I ended up taking one
Speaker 3: because I was started snapping at my girls and I
Speaker 3: was I was noticing myself, like my my restless, irritable
Speaker 3: and discontent was like cropping up. And that scared me.
Speaker 3: And so I did take an antidepressant for you maybe
Speaker 3: a year or so. But within that time, I don't
Speaker 3: remember which came first, but I decided to do a
Speaker 3: juice clean for myself. And nobody in my town was
Speaker 3: doing them. So I put together this this raw food
Speaker 3: and juice cleans. I did it for five days and
Speaker 3: I just it really just reset me in a way
Speaker 3: that yeah, wow, just everything you know, really just reset me.
Speaker 3: And so I started carrying my little juice around. And
Speaker 3: you know, this was I was maybe forty two or
Speaker 3: something like that. I was carrying my juice around and
Speaker 3: people were saying, you know, where did you get that?
Speaker 3: What are you doing? And do it for me, do
Speaker 3: it for me. And so I started taking groups of
Speaker 3: ten people at a time and doing it out of
Speaker 3: my house and doing this food and juice cleanse. And
Speaker 3: so one of my neighbors came over and I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm going to do for work,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm just what am I going to do?
Speaker 3: I'd been working at this deli part time, and I
Speaker 3: just couldn't figure it out because I wanted to be
Speaker 3: home with my girls. So that's why I was trying
Speaker 3: to make it work. That was my value, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: And so because obviously I could just go get a
Speaker 3: corporate job, but I didn't want to do that.
Speaker 2: Well, especially what you'd been through, I think you realized
Speaker 2: the importance of family and raising your kids, I mean clearly, And.
Speaker 3: It was just a decision I made. It was like
Speaker 3: I want to do it this way, and and I'm
Speaker 3: still like that. I think I'm just wired that way too,
Speaker 3: you know. And and they were little, I mean they
Speaker 3: were two and seven, they were.
Speaker 2: Babies, which can I just say, as uh, what you'd
Speaker 2: been through and then to start raising a two year
Speaker 2: old and a seven year old on your own is
Speaker 2: just it's addable.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the that's the least of it is.
Speaker 1: How admirable?
Speaker 3: Oh well thanks?
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's fast forward to now.
Speaker 2: You started sharing your nomadic lifestyle on TikTok, which got
Speaker 2: my attention. What has the response been from other single women?
Speaker 2: Let's start there.
Speaker 3: You know what, so what about the about the nomadic stuff?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean you you recently really okay did we
Speaker 2: all know this? Back to California, you're in now roommates
Speaker 2: with your first ex husband thirty two years ago.
Speaker 1: You're sharing it.
Speaker 2: All on TikTok, and as I just said, it's getting
Speaker 2: a lot of attention. Yes, how did that idea to
Speaker 2: live together again come to fruition?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great question. I mean, you know, it's
Speaker 3: a lot, it's a long life to like, you know,
Speaker 3: cram into a cute little podcast, right, And so I'm like, how,
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, we want to wrap it up
Speaker 3: a little bit, but it's like it's been a journey
Speaker 3: and so basically, let's see, so the nomadic thing happened
Speaker 3: when both of my girls left home. They said, we
Speaker 3: don't want to be in Sarasota anymore. Essentially, I mean,
Speaker 3: this is just a very short, hard and fast yeah conversation.
Speaker 3: But essentially, both my girls did not want to stay
Speaker 3: in Sarasota. My oldest daughter moved to California and I
Speaker 3: in the day she moved to California, Mackenzie and I
Speaker 3: dropped dropped her off at the airport. We came back
Speaker 3: to the house and we looked at each other and
Speaker 3: we were like, this, ain't it. We don't want to
Speaker 3: be here without her, you know, we just it just
Speaker 3: it was really hard. So then, so basically what happened
Speaker 3: is I had this business for twelve years. I had
Speaker 3: a cold press juice company. Is where I was leading to, Yes,
Speaker 3: it's okay. I had that for twelve years, and I
Speaker 3: literally carried that thing on my back. It was my identity,
Speaker 3: it was my whole life. But I was able to
Speaker 3: stay at home with the girls. They became part of
Speaker 3: my business. I had a food truck for seven years.
Speaker 3: I had a brick and mortar for three years. But
Speaker 3: essentially why I came to the nomadic lifestyle is that
Speaker 3: after COVID. Once COVID happened, I you know, it became
Speaker 3: harder and harder to sustain my company for various reasons,
Speaker 3: from we don't have to get into but suffice it
Speaker 3: to say. I was just like, this is just not
Speaker 3: working anymore. I just don't want to do this anymore.
Speaker 3: I mean, my feet started hurting my body. This is important,
Speaker 3: this is this is what I'm going to say right
Speaker 3: now is important. My body started giving me cues like heysis, Hey,
Speaker 3: I don't know what you're doing, but we're not going
Speaker 3: with you. So you're going to need to do something
Speaker 3: different or we're going to break down completely. And so
Speaker 3: it was kind of a whisper. It was kind of
Speaker 3: a you know, and then it started getting like I
Speaker 3: started with my feet, so my feet because I was
Speaker 3: standing for twelve I tell people I stood for twelve
Speaker 3: years basically, you know, literally, you know, and it just
Speaker 3: you can't do that and not have consequences in your body.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, and I will say, yeah, I think a lot
Speaker 2: of people don't listen to their bodies.
Speaker 3: Yeah, the body speaks first, right, well, the ego speaks first,
Speaker 3: but you know, the body doesn't lie. That's what I
Speaker 3: meant to say, You're right, and yeah, so the body
Speaker 3: doesn't lie. So I started, you know, listening, and I
Speaker 3: have a coach. I've had a coach for eighteen years
Speaker 3: since I was going through my divorce with you know,
Speaker 3: their dad, and and so we just started working this,
Speaker 3: you know, like, what am I going to do? What
Speaker 3: are my options?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: This is my livelihood, this is my identity, this is
Speaker 3: my whole life. This is how I've raised my daughter's
Speaker 3: this is where I am, this is I pay for
Speaker 3: everything this way. You know, I don't want to go
Speaker 3: work for somebody else. What can pay me enough? Where
Speaker 3: do I don't even want If I did something else,
Speaker 3: I wouldn't even want to be in Sarasota. So it
Speaker 3: was just listening, journaling my coach talking about it. Telling
Speaker 3: the truth, you know, the number one tool is, you know,
Speaker 3: go to observation, like what's happening, Tell the truth about it,
Speaker 3: write it down, tell your trusted friend, your trusted coach,
Speaker 3: you know. And so I really went to work on this.
Speaker 3: And I have the skills because of my recovery and
Speaker 3: my history and all of these things. So they've just
Speaker 3: expanded over the years and deepened in different different ways.
Speaker 3: And so so that's kind of what I did in
Speaker 3: a nutshell well with my coach, And there are very
Speaker 3: specific steps I did but essentially I got to the
Speaker 3: place where I was like, I will walk out this
Speaker 3: door of this company and leave the key behind, like
Speaker 3: I'm not attached, I don't care. Something's got to change.
Speaker 3: And then I met my friend Peter quickly. He was
Speaker 3: a nomad, and so I was like, I want to
Speaker 3: do what you're doing. And so I saw it in
Speaker 3: somebody else and this is the way life is, right, Yeah,
Speaker 3: that's why you and I are on this podcast.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I will say that's not coincidental that, you know,
Speaker 2: this all came to be with Peter.
Speaker 3: I would say I would definitely say that as well.
Speaker 3: And so I said to him, how do I do
Speaker 3: what you're doing? And he said, well, the first thing
Speaker 3: you gotta do is eliminate your fixed expenses. And I
Speaker 3: just sat back and I was like, I mean, I
Speaker 3: was just trying to keep the lights on. I mean,
Speaker 3: I didn't have some p and L with like, oh well,
Speaker 3: let me just go to my book, my accountant. And
Speaker 3: you know, it wasn't that. It was like fix expenses.
Speaker 3: What's it? You know, what's a face expense kind of thing?
Speaker 3: You know, really like, what are my fixed expenses? And
Speaker 3: I started going through them in my head. But essentially
Speaker 3: I got rid of my fixed expenses. It took me
Speaker 3: about a year and a half to three years. The
Speaker 3: timing's a little shady for me.
Speaker 2: But so you get rid of a minute fixed expenses,
Speaker 2: I mean obviously my business, apartment, apartment's business.
Speaker 3: Yeah, employees, everything. Yeah, even like you like my cell
Speaker 3: phone bill. It was like, okay, well I have a
Speaker 3: cell phone bill. That's a fixed expence. But I have
Speaker 3: to have a cell phone bill. But I spent two
Speaker 3: days getting my phone bill down to twenty five dollars
Speaker 3: a month. Like that's a thing. Now you can get unlimited.
Speaker 3: Did you know that?
Speaker 1: No, but but I want to hear about it.
Speaker 2: No. Yeah, then I got to tell you you're talking
Speaker 2: me into becoming a nomad, So keep talking.
Speaker 3: I know, I know. So essentially I got my fixed
Speaker 3: sixpences down to just a few hundred dollars a month,
Speaker 3: and now they are just I'm into AI and workflows
Speaker 3: and marketing and I love helping businesses and all that stuff.
Speaker 3: So I have membership, you know, my subscriptions to Claude
Speaker 3: and you know, chat ebt and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 3: And that's that's probably the bulk of it. My car
Speaker 3: insurance is one hundred dollars a month. I kept my car,
Speaker 3: which is paid for. I shipped it out to California
Speaker 3: and it's here with me now, which is so fun.
Speaker 3: And so yeah, my car insurance is my biggest expense.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of that.
Speaker 3: But don't I'm like, what state do you not have
Speaker 3: to have car insurance?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm saying your thinking as you're talking.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking I got to pay the Oh, I forgot
Speaker 2: to pay my electric bill. I mean, I'm literally listening
Speaker 2: to you.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: Wow. So okay, so.
Speaker 2: You are now well right now you're in San Diego,
Speaker 2: but you are how is it working? Can you tell
Speaker 2: me a little bit about how it's going with living
Speaker 2: with your ex husband because for listeners who might say,
Speaker 2: you know, is she going backward in time? Is she
Speaker 2: trying to renew a relationship? Does all those questions?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, So you had asked me kind of how
Speaker 3: it came to be that, and I even got to
Speaker 3: this place, and so I would say that once my
Speaker 3: daughter moved here, you know, I wanted to come visit
Speaker 3: a bunch, right, So I would come out, I would
Speaker 3: stay with friends. I would stay with my daughter. Well
Speaker 3: that's not really working out right now. She doesn't have
Speaker 3: enough room. So so I called Rick and I said, hey,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm coming into town. Are you around And
Speaker 3: he said, you know, actually I'm going to be gone.
Speaker 3: It was my birthday this year in March, and he said,
Speaker 3: you can stay in the apartment. And I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my gosh, I'm going to stay in the marital
Speaker 3: apartment like myself. This is so cool. So really March
Speaker 3: of this year was the first time that I stayed there.
Speaker 3: I had stayed before, but he that's we don't need
Speaker 3: to go into that. So anyway, I stayed there by myself.
Speaker 3: My best friend flew out. I had I have some
Speaker 3: girlfriends here, like part of why I'm here right now,
Speaker 3: as I was a pompom girl in college. So we're
Speaker 3: having a pom Pom reunion. So all my pomp Pom
Speaker 3: girlfriends came and we had this party in my old apartment.
Speaker 3: It was like just so surreal. I had that so surreal. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so I went. So I left because I'm nomadic. I
Speaker 3: went to Maui to help a friend. I'm doing a
Speaker 3: lot of that kind of stuff. So I went to
Speaker 3: help a friend. I was coming back through Ring Ring
Speaker 3: Now I got Rick, right, I'm like, oh, he let
Speaker 3: me stay there last time, Maybe let me stay again,
Speaker 3: you know, just asking. And he said, well, I'm going
Speaker 3: to be here, but you can stay, you know. And
Speaker 3: I thought, oh my gosh, I'm going to actually stay
Speaker 3: with Rick in the apartment. This is so weird, you know.
Speaker 3: And of course, naturally my brain is flooded with are
Speaker 3: we going to kiss? Am I going to be attracted
Speaker 3: to him? Is it going to be weird? Am I gonna?
Speaker 3: I mean, what's gonna happen? You know, Because I'm a female,
Speaker 3: I'm a girl, I'm a human. It's just the human experience,
Speaker 3: you know, exact. And so he graciously let me stay
Speaker 3: in the can bedroom. And it was so much fun.
Speaker 3: It was just so much fun. It was just friends.
Speaker 3: It was natural. It was so much fun. I told
Speaker 3: him make a list. You know, I'm like a helper person,
Speaker 3: like I have no technology, I can do all these things.
Speaker 3: He was like, okay, So we organized some of his closet.
Speaker 3: I helped him with this remote controls. You know, we
Speaker 3: just did this whole little fun exchange, right wow. And
Speaker 3: then when I set to leave. Now this is where
Speaker 3: it kind of weaves, because I had set in my
Speaker 3: mind that I wanted in my nomad life that I
Speaker 3: wanted to spend a year in California. And I had
Speaker 3: a vision of I want to go up and down
Speaker 3: the coast and see my pompom girlfriends, see my daughter
Speaker 3: as much as possible, and frankly, just be back in California.
Speaker 3: I love it here.
Speaker 1: I mean, who, why wouldn't you love being in California.
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't I love being in California?
Speaker 1: Other than the terrible weather they have.
Speaker 3: I know, it's awful. And so so when I went
Speaker 3: to leave, when it was the day for me to leave,
Speaker 3: Rick invited me to come back and just said, you know,
Speaker 3: would you like to come back? And I said, I know,
Speaker 3: I thought you'd never ask, you know, And he said,
Speaker 3: do you want some drawer? You want to keep some
Speaker 3: of your stuff here? And you know, I just there's
Speaker 3: two little tiny drawers and I just put a sweater
Speaker 3: and some shoes in there, you know, just like, you know,
Speaker 3: just like a tiny little token of I don't know
Speaker 3: what this is.
Speaker 2: Well, I would, yeah, kind of planting, just planting a
Speaker 2: piece of stability, A tiny piece of stability, thank you.
Speaker 3: Yes, So I did that. I went back home and
Speaker 3: then I kind of got my deal together and just
Speaker 3: to ship my car and close down my sister. I've
Speaker 3: been staying at my sisters in Sarasota. That it's been
Speaker 3: my We're really just talking about a home base is
Speaker 3: the language as a nomad, So ideally you have a
Speaker 3: home base, and so my sisters was my home base.
Speaker 3: So I shut that all down and got my car
Speaker 3: ready and my clothes and all that, and then I,
Speaker 3: you know, back to California. I guess I've been here
Speaker 3: three weeks now, and so so what happened is I've
Speaker 3: had no traction on TikTok. I've been posting since I
Speaker 3: had my juice company and just you know, having fun
Speaker 3: like nothing. And then one day on the beach, I
Speaker 3: just said, it's like nineteen days until I relocate to California.
Speaker 3: We're I'll be living out my next chapter, you know,
Speaker 3: staying with my rooming with my ex husband from thirty
Speaker 3: two years ago in our marital apartment. And like I
Speaker 3: woke up to just I guess they call it going viral,
Speaker 3: you know, and I was like, that is wild to me,
Speaker 3: you know, it just was so shocking.
Speaker 2: Well here's the thing, Lenn, Yeah, to you maybe, but
Speaker 2: to those of us who are planted firmly, you know,
Speaker 2: Tara firma for years and years the idea of initiating
Speaker 2: a nomadic life A and then b moving into, as
Speaker 2: you said, the marital apartment with your I.
Speaker 1: Mean, that's not something that you know, we read every day.
Speaker 1: It's not something that people do. You know.
Speaker 2: People are afraid to get out of marriages never mind,
Speaker 2: you know, they they stick with what they know. And
Speaker 2: here you are, just a burgeoning life of freedom and
Speaker 2: with apparently your ex husband of thirty two years.
Speaker 1: Interesting it is, well, thank you for you know.
Speaker 3: And I you know, because of the way I see
Speaker 3: the world I look at I'm just I'm just looking.
Speaker 3: I read every comment, you know, and I know that
Speaker 3: we're all mirrors for each other. Yes, right, I'm a
Speaker 3: mirror for everybody watching and commenting and listening and looking
Speaker 3: and interested. It's not even about me, It's about It's
Speaker 3: about that, you know. And so I'm my hunch and
Speaker 3: I love I love hearing from you about kind of
Speaker 3: the other side because I'm so curious, you know, And
Speaker 3: so I'm thinking, Wow, this is really people are really
Speaker 3: looking longing or there's something there for Is it the
Speaker 3: love piece, is it the freedom piece? Is it that
Speaker 3: I'm happy piece? Is it all of it?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: I think I think it's all of that. I think
Speaker 2: people would be curious. You know, you've been married twice.
Speaker 2: Do you believe in love? Do you believe in marriage?
Speaker 2: Do you believe you're going to have another relationship? I
Speaker 2: think those go along with the decisions you've made.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, I wonder what she's gonna ask me?
Speaker 3: And I had a feeling you might you might ask that,
Speaker 3: and so I was just kind of thinking about it
Speaker 3: walking around the house here. And you know, the truth
Speaker 3: is is I absolutely believe in marriage. I absolutely believe
Speaker 3: in love. I absolutely would It would be so super
Speaker 3: fun to have someone to live life with and create
Speaker 3: a life with at fifty eight years old. And you know,
Speaker 3: I would say, you know, I try to choose my words,
Speaker 3: but I mean, I'm not actively looking. I just but
Speaker 3: I'm open. My heart is open. I am I am
Speaker 3: able to give and receive love. I have found other
Speaker 3: ways to give and receive love and receive human touch,
Speaker 3: which I think is something that is not talked about,
Speaker 3: but just needing you know, hugs and touch and you
Speaker 3: know that sort of right, Yeah, I agree, finding healthy
Speaker 3: ways to get that outside of a love relationship.
Speaker 2: Or a traditional yeah yeah, a latch on my kid.
Speaker 2: So I think that's just part of it. I mean,
Speaker 2: you have so many elements. Obviously you have an entrepreneurial mind.
Speaker 2: You've created this life for yourself that is amazing, and
Speaker 2: people are voyeurs. They want to know, wow, what is
Speaker 2: she doing? So when you put something like that on TikTok,
Speaker 2: of course it's going to generate questions and comments and
Speaker 2: and so I think that's what the where the interest lies.
Speaker 1: I again, my life. I was married at twenty.
Speaker 2: My husband died when I was sixty five, so I
Speaker 2: was you know, a very different story, right. But so
Speaker 2: many things you're saying I agree with. Now I'm building
Speaker 2: a life for myself. It's just looks different than how
Speaker 2: you're building your life. Yes, but all those things physical
Speaker 2: touch and experiences and meeting people and trying new things.
Speaker 2: Because we only go around this world once. I think
Speaker 2: most people, if they're not experiencing that, want to feel that.
Speaker 2: And you're sort of a model You're representing what it
Speaker 2: could look like.
Speaker 3: Love that. Yeah, thank you for that. Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 3: That's great.
Speaker 2: For people who are listening right now who are divorced
Speaker 2: on their own whatever and they feel way down by
Speaker 2: that experience.
Speaker 1: I don't have that experience of.
Speaker 2: Divorce, But those people who are feeling, you know, way
Speaker 2: down by that experience, what advice would you give them
Speaker 2: to help them lift themselves, you know, out of the sadness.
Speaker 3: Well, one tool that I have that immediately comes to
Speaker 3: mind is one that I've been practicing, ironically for the
Speaker 3: last three years when I'm not really down. But it's
Speaker 3: I wish I had known it when I was down right. So,
Speaker 3: and it's this notion of being with yourself while you're
Speaker 3: there and what that that that's respecting yourself. So respecting
Speaker 3: yourself by being with yourself in that moment and giving
Speaker 3: a shut about yourself to the point of where you
Speaker 3: you're with yourself in it. You write it down, you
Speaker 3: make it important, you make it important, you write it down,
Speaker 3: you talk about it, you stay with it, and there's
Speaker 3: something about that that helps it go faster, you know,
Speaker 3: get through it faster. You know. Somebody said once a
Speaker 3: feeling's job is to be felt, and when it's felt,
Speaker 3: it moves on right. But and then just staying the course,
Speaker 3: you know, like staying the course, you know, knowing what
Speaker 3: your values are. I mean, values are so critical because
Speaker 3: my values shape my future decisions, you know, and so
Speaker 3: we don't want to make the same mistakes and that
Speaker 3: sort of thing.
Speaker 2: I think one thing you're I hate the word because
Speaker 2: it's so overused now, but practicing gratitude.
Speaker 3: Gratitude huge, yeah, for.
Speaker 1: Me, it's huge.
Speaker 2: But the other thing, and I thought you were going
Speaker 2: there for me after my husband died, I had to learn,
Speaker 2: as you just said, to be with myself. Yes, And
Speaker 2: but the other thing was loving myself and being better
Speaker 2: than okay with who I am.
Speaker 1: And I think you have found that. That's how it
Speaker 1: seems to me.
Speaker 2: It's I think so many of us, and so many
Speaker 2: people out there, particularly going through divorce, are struggling with self.
Speaker 3: I would say one hundred percent. And I get that.
Speaker 3: And when you said earlier, you know, people can't even
Speaker 3: imagine leaving me marriages, you know, And that just went
Speaker 3: right to my heart because I see that so much
Speaker 3: fear fear. Yeah, and listen, there's pros and cons with both.
Speaker 3: My best friend she's married forever. And I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: that's a tick in your column.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well it is for now, you know, it
Speaker 3: appears right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's it's very It's just there are different paths,
Speaker 2: and again, I think your path is just so interesting
Speaker 2: that you've committed to this life at least for a year,
Speaker 2: maybe longer.
Speaker 1: Talking just a little bit more about divorce. You know,
Speaker 1: I have a lot of friends who are divorced.
Speaker 2: We all do, and we hear, at least I hear
Speaker 2: people talking a lot about what they've lost in a
Speaker 2: do you know we lose in a divorce? What have
Speaker 2: you gained from your divorces?
Speaker 3: Oh? Wow, I thought you were going to say what
Speaker 3: have you lost? Because I was like, oh, I could.
Speaker 1: Go there, Well go both, go go give me both.
Speaker 3: You know. Listen, you know my tagline on TikTok as
Speaker 3: we live the life we focus on. So I was
Speaker 3: just sharing with a girlfriend yesterday. I told her I
Speaker 3: was going to be doing this podcast with you, and
Speaker 3: I said, you know, I mean, things are not you know,
Speaker 3: social media is a highlight reel. We all know this, right,
Speaker 3: So but I choose, I actively choose the gratitude posture,
Speaker 3: right service posture, the you know, serving others is like,
Speaker 3: I mean, it's so not sexy. It's just not sexy
Speaker 3: at all. It's not like not going to get followers
Speaker 3: or anything like that. But literally being of maximum service
Speaker 3: to others is like the key to life. I mean,
Speaker 3: I just so there's that side note, but so yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean I would say that one of the not
Speaker 3: so sexy, fun great things about being nomadic potentially is
Speaker 3: there's you have to be okay with a lot of uncertainty,
Speaker 3: you know, a lot of uncertainty, and you know, be
Speaker 3: prepared to you know of it at any given moment,
Speaker 3: you know, and not I don't. I don't have a
Speaker 3: certain amount of income coming in, Like I'm relying on
Speaker 3: gigs and collaborations and side hustles and yeah, but that's
Speaker 3: by design. I want it that way.
Speaker 2: But that but it does take courage land and as women,
Speaker 2: yes it does. You know, in this old patriarchal society
Speaker 2: we're in, we've been trained not to do that, to
Speaker 2: plant our feet firmly and gig roots. So again, I think,
Speaker 2: so you you did share this beautiful video about how
Speaker 2: it at fifty eight you're feeling so happy, Yeah, from
Speaker 2: the inside out. And for people fifty plus to not
Speaker 2: think that their best years are behind them. This struck
Speaker 2: me because I'm seventy three and I do not believe
Speaker 2: my best Thank you. I do not, as are you.
Speaker 2: I do not believe my best years are behind.
Speaker 1: Me at all.
Speaker 2: But what things today at this moment bring you happiness?
Speaker 2: I mean you've touched on a few, but I just
Speaker 2: want to make sure we're covering all the bases there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what things make me happy? Make me feel happy.
Speaker 1: In this way? Yeah? Right now? In your life?
Speaker 3: Yeah, being with my being with people. I love, being
Speaker 3: with people I love. I was so isolated in my marriage,
Speaker 3: in my marriage, my second marriage, and my business. It
Speaker 3: really isolated me. And so that's the nomadic thing. I'm
Speaker 3: staying with people. That's the choice I've made because I
Speaker 3: don't want to be by myself. And that goes into
Speaker 3: the marriage thing, future love and all of that. Because
Speaker 3: I don't have a life partner, I'm creating it in
Speaker 3: other ways. I'm finding and getting my needs met through
Speaker 3: friendships and I have men in my life that you know,
Speaker 3: I can get a hug from or whatever right.
Speaker 1: Or whatever else you want or whatever.
Speaker 3: All you gotta do is ask right.
Speaker 2: Sometimes you don't even have to do that. It's just
Speaker 2: a look sometimes just a look. I mean we say
Speaker 2: some as we say men are big dom manumals. No,
Speaker 2: but they can read an eye.
Speaker 3: Yes they can, Yes they can. You be my daughter's
Speaker 3: animals nature, you know, laughing TikTok. I love TikTok. I
Speaker 3: mean it's like it makes me laugh. I mean those
Speaker 3: scaring videos where they scare people. I mean I'm just
Speaker 3: like sending them to my sister, you know. I mean
Speaker 3: I'm a juvenile in a lot of ways.
Speaker 1: I don't think that at all.
Speaker 2: I think you're someone who is in touch with your
Speaker 2: life and is building the best uh life that you
Speaker 2: possibly can. And I think you're I think you are
Speaker 2: a model for people to look at to see how
Speaker 2: they could restructure their life if they're in a rut,
Speaker 2: or they're unhappy, or they're divorced.
Speaker 1: I mean could go on and on.
Speaker 2: So I am I keep sorally enjoyed this and and
Speaker 2: thank you You're amazing. You can follow along with Lynn's
Speaker 2: journey on TikTok at Lynn at Large.
Speaker 3: Yeap, my last name is Large. Just for the record,
Speaker 3: so that's kind of fun.
Speaker 2: Well that was just that was that was a lucky
Speaker 2: happens to ants, wasn't it.
Speaker 3: Yes, it was. That's my favorite thing I got back
Speaker 3: after my marriage, after my second marriage is I went
Speaker 3: back and reclaimed my maiden name. So I just got
Speaker 3: that back a couple of years ago, and it's like
Speaker 3: my favorite thing I've done so far.
Speaker 2: It's just another It's just another point of strength for you,
Speaker 2: as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker 3: Thank you, It's an honor to be with you.
Speaker 2: Well, thank you. I appreciate it. And are you trying
Speaker 2: to navigate your chapter two and need some advice? Send
Speaker 2: us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the
Speaker 2: infos in the show notes, and follow us on socials
Speaker 2: I do Part two and iHeart Podcast where falling in
Speaker 2: love is the main objective.