Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
Speaker 1: and speaker.
Speaker 2: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,
Speaker 2: and course creator. We are two working parents who love
Speaker 2: our careers and our families.
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about
Speaker 1: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.
Speaker 1: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals.
Speaker 1: We want you to get the most out of life.
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This
Speaker 1: episode is airing in late June of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: This episode, Skip the Misery Please, was inspired by one
Speaker 1: of my vander hacks. I have a substack newsletter called
Speaker 1: vander Hack, and this particular post was called skip the Misery,
Speaker 1: and short version of the story is I was a
Speaker 1: bit set off by a few posts from various bros
Speaker 1: on social media about their cold showers and how their
Speaker 1: cold showers were there to toughen them up, and everyone
Speaker 1: should have cold showers in the mornings that we develop discipline,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, really, you know, is your life so
Speaker 1: easy that you have to invent ways to toughen yourself up,
Speaker 1: or like you're not even like suffering in some useful way, right,
Speaker 1: Like you, I don't know, you're like, go become like
Speaker 1: a volunteer firefighter or something, Go pull people out of
Speaker 1: their cars in the cold rain in the middle of
Speaker 1: the night. That could toughen you up, too, but would
Speaker 1: have a useful purpose. But anyway, I was a bit
Speaker 1: set off with this that there's no real reason to
Speaker 1: suffer unnecessarily. Life is often hard enough. Often people are
Speaker 1: just trying to get through the day, So no reason
Speaker 1: to seek out extra suffering. We should seek out more pleasure.
Speaker 2: What do you think, Sarah, Yeah, hopefully all those bros
Speaker 2: who are looking for more ways to suffer are already
Speaker 2: maximizing their suffering and like the getting for school routine
Speaker 2: and the getting your toddler to bed routine, and they're
Speaker 2: really they've run out of places to suffer and therefore
Speaker 2: need to add extra Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't know, these have never like been up all
Speaker 1: night with a sick kid and develop your suffering in
Speaker 1: that sense, or being in a five hour car ride
Speaker 1: with a child who keeps screaming, or you know, anything
Speaker 1: like that. I suspect that this has not been a
Speaker 1: regular part of their lives. But the point of the
Speaker 1: vander Hack was to list ways that we could add
Speaker 1: more pleasure into a regular, normal day. And so you know,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, suffering is just not good
Speaker 1: enough itself. Yes, it needs to be for a useful purpose,
Speaker 1: and there's no reason to do right, I mean, Sarah, and.
Speaker 2: You turned it around. You're like, actually, let's focus on
Speaker 2: the opposite of that, which is what I loved about
Speaker 2: this post. So I'm a vander Hack subscriber and when
Speaker 2: I read Laura's ideas and just the topic, I was like,
Speaker 2: this needs to be an episode because it's it's true.
Speaker 2: Why are we looking for more negativity when we can
Speaker 2: look for more ways to get positivity and fun and
Speaker 2: joy out of our days.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, and no one wins in the misery Olympics. So
Speaker 1: we're gonna go through a list of ways to add
Speaker 1: a little bit more fun and enjoyment into everyday life.
Speaker 1: So one of the first ways I like doing this
Speaker 1: is to plan something to look forward to. So as
Speaker 1: part of my weekly planning exercise, I try to say, well,
Speaker 1: as I'm looking at what has happening in the next week,
Speaker 1: is there anything that I am genuinely looking forward to.
Speaker 1: I kind of call this a fun audit. As you
Speaker 1: look at your schedule, is there anything you are genuinely
Speaker 1: looking forward to? There's, of course, the things that you
Speaker 1: are going to need to do, things you have to do,
Speaker 1: things that you are sort of think are okay, but
Speaker 1: you know, it's more like you are doing them because
Speaker 1: they're important or meaningful things. But that said, is there
Speaker 1: anything you are genuinely looking forward to? And if there
Speaker 1: isn't any, it's time to plan something in You do this, right, Sarah.
Speaker 2: Yes, I do this. I feel like I do it
Speaker 2: more intensely at like the monthly and seasonal levels. If
Speaker 2: I feel like the month is just like eh, I
Speaker 2: think about where could I stick a day trip in there?
Speaker 2: Or would this be a nice you know, okay, I
Speaker 2: have an open day. Should I try to get a
Speaker 2: massage that day? Like I want to have something on
Speaker 2: that monthly grid that looks special and exciting, And to
Speaker 2: a smaller extent, on the week, sometimes we can be
Speaker 2: a little trickier just because if you have a very
Speaker 2: packed week, there can be so many kind of hard
Speaker 2: landscape items that adding more can almost take away from
Speaker 2: the fun if there's too much, like I'm talking about
Speaker 2: a call week or something like that. But still it's
Speaker 2: nice to have some kind of bright spot, and it
Speaker 2: can be so low key. Honestly, one of the lowest
Speaker 2: key ones that I can think of are like media,
Speaker 2: So a book that I'm excited to pick up from
Speaker 2: the library, or like a TV series that's coming out
Speaker 2: or that I've just heard about and I'm excited to watch.
Speaker 2: Just being like, you know what, on Friday night, I'm
Speaker 2: going to dive into that new Netflix show that I've
Speaker 2: heard about can be just a b as you go
Speaker 2: throughout your week, even a packed one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Or deciding that you're gonna call a friend, like
Speaker 1: at some point where you have a little space, or
Speaker 1: if you're going for like a twenty minute walk on
Speaker 1: a lunch break, maybe you can you know, call a
Speaker 1: friend during that and make it a double win in
Speaker 1: terms of a mood booster. Just anything like that. But
Speaker 1: knowing you're going to have like dinner with friends next
Speaker 1: week can make today and every day before that feel
Speaker 1: better as you're like, oh, life isn't all just this
Speaker 1: day to day grind. Here's something I'm genuinely excited about
Speaker 1: in my future, and I think people really need that.
Speaker 1: Now we can also make regular daily events more exciting.
Speaker 1: A second thing on this list was to forget the
Speaker 1: cold showers and make your shower more like a spa. Now.
Speaker 1: A couple of things you can do here, even you
Speaker 1: know that are low key. But one thing I did
Speaker 1: has I got nice towels that are only for me,
Speaker 1: Like nobody else may use these towels. And if you
Speaker 1: have lots of children, you know that they do all
Speaker 1: sorts of things with towels, and then they wind up
Speaker 1: like sitting on the floor of the bathroom for like
Speaker 1: multiple days, and they're wadded up into a corner, and
Speaker 1: who knows what they wiped off their face with the towel,
Speaker 1: and you know there's somebody's like face paint on it
Speaker 1: and I you know, chocolate, who knows. But my towels
Speaker 1: do not have that because I'm not having face paints.
Speaker 1: My towels are wonderful. Sarah, how about you? How have
Speaker 1: you made your shower better? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Interesting about the towels. We also do something where we
Speaker 2: kind of collar code our towels, and the adult towels
Speaker 2: are white and the kid's towels. I don't even know
Speaker 2: what color each kid is, but they're not white, and
Speaker 2: I kind of know it'd be like side eyeing a
Speaker 2: kid if I see them with a white towel, so
Speaker 2: I guess we kind of do something similar. But yeah,
Speaker 2: just making sure the products I have in there are
Speaker 2: things that I really enjoy using. I will spend out on,
Speaker 2: like a really nice body wash. I tend to buy
Speaker 2: nice shampoo and conditioner that are sort of like go
Speaker 2: with my Japanese straightening system. I mean, do these things
Speaker 2: truly make a giant difference in my hair, But I
Speaker 2: just like feel cared for, and they're usually like these
Speaker 2: nicer Japanese nicely scented products, And I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that making sure that the shower is a
Speaker 2: welcoming respite is an important way to get a little
Speaker 2: joy out of a mundane moment of your day.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I like this grapefruit scented facewash that I use.
Speaker 1: I think it's just like nutrigina, but it smells nice.
Speaker 1: It's like in the morning, it's like a nice little
Speaker 1: pick me up as they're in a nice, warm, wonderful shower,
Speaker 1: which with that you can consciously decide to linger for like,
Speaker 1: an extra even sixty seconds, Like in most people's run
Speaker 1: of show in the morning, sixty seconds is kind of
Speaker 1: within the margin of error, you know, unless things are
Speaker 1: really tight. So you could decide to just say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm done showering, but I'm just gonna sit here and
Speaker 1: relax and deep breathe in and out, enjoy this feeling,
Speaker 1: enjoy this sensation before going around your day, and have
Speaker 1: sixty seconds of pleasure there.
Speaker 2: And it can kind of, I don't know, pay dividends
Speaker 2: and that you will just because you're the kind of
Speaker 2: person who got to linger even though it was like
Speaker 2: very brief, you might feel a different way about the
Speaker 2: entire routine. Now, we're not saying to use up ninety
Speaker 2: thousand gallons of hot water and energy and that kind
Speaker 2: of a thing, so within reason, but yes, probably an
Speaker 2: extra sixty seconds would be.
Speaker 1: Turn off the water while you're brushing your teeth, for instance,
Speaker 1: you know, turn off the lights when you leave the bathroom.
Speaker 1: But if this is something that would make daily life
Speaker 1: feel better than we you have our permission to try it.
Speaker 1: Moving on to the morning routine, another idea that might
Speaker 1: make daily life more pleasurable is to drink a cup
Speaker 1: of coffee in peace. So both of us are coffee drinkers. Sarah,
Speaker 1: you're sort of in a mixed you know, calf half calf.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I already went back.
Speaker 1: You already would take back. Okay, it lasted.
Speaker 2: I was very well behaved for a while, but no,
Speaker 2: I since I now take some medicine, I felt like
Speaker 2: I could go back to real caffee.
Speaker 1: You're in well, so we're back real coffee now. But
Speaker 1: there's something so nice about being able to just sit
Speaker 1: and drink your coffee while doing something of your choice,
Speaker 1: as opposed to like putting it down on the counter
Speaker 1: and then racing off to deal with something else and
Speaker 1: coming back and it's cooled down and you either drink
Speaker 1: it lukewarm or you put it in the microwave. But then,
Speaker 1: of course the microwave coffee is not exactly the height
Speaker 1: of pleasure here. So arranging your morning so that you
Speaker 1: can sit down and drink it now that might involve
Speaker 1: waking up a tiny bit earlier, or if you have
Speaker 1: some sort of morning routine, perhaps you can incorporate this
Speaker 1: into it. In my neck of the woods, I really
Speaker 1: like to drink my coffee outside and I'm somewhere where
Speaker 1: that can be done for at least a couple months
Speaker 1: of the year. Sarah, how about you, your morning routine
Speaker 1: involves really sitting in enjoying your coffee too. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely. I mean I've done lots of thinking about exactly
Speaker 2: how I want to use those precious moments of solitude
Speaker 2: in the morning, and I love part of it is
Speaker 2: drinking my coffee, usually while I'm reading, and then I
Speaker 2: kind of like move on to other things and kind
Speaker 2: of end with a workout. And on the same note,
Speaker 2: as a fancy station sorry the fancy shower gel, you
Speaker 2: can have elevated stationary products that make your kind of mourning, planning,
Speaker 2: or even just the rest of the admin you do
Speaker 2: throughout the day more fun. I always say life is
Speaker 2: too short for bad pens, and so I feel very
Speaker 2: strongly about that nice session with my coffee and my
Speaker 2: planner of choice and my best pens to start the day.
Speaker 1: You get a good mug too, like some bugs are
Speaker 1: not as nice as other mugs, and I like a
Speaker 1: good big one, like it needs to be at least
Speaker 1: fifteen ounces, like a little bit substantial with the handle,
Speaker 1: and that the handle's not going to burn my hand
Speaker 1: or anything. There's all sorts of things. Make sure you've
Speaker 1: got the good mugs if you're gonna have this experience.
Speaker 1: And I was going to say, there's a Barnes and
Speaker 1: Noble that just opened near me and it's got a
Speaker 1: whole stationary section. So I feel like this may wind
Speaker 1: up being more a part of my life because you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want to really buy stuff online with that
Speaker 1: because you can't like see it, you can't touch it,
Speaker 1: you can't see what you're getting. But the physical store
Speaker 1: may have a lot of that.
Speaker 2: They do have a lot their people don't actually realize,
Speaker 2: but that section is sizable and they have some of
Speaker 2: the nice brands.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, well that'll be part of it. Well
Speaker 1: we're going to take a quick ad break and then
Speaker 1: we'll be back with more on how to add more
Speaker 1: pleasure into your daily life. Well, we are back talking
Speaker 1: about how to skip the misery. Please. We want you
Speaker 1: to enjoy more of your daily life. And while we're
Speaker 1: still on mornings, having a real breakfast is a way
Speaker 1: to make a morning feel just a little bit more
Speaker 1: like a treat. And I know that you know, most
Speaker 1: people are not going to sit down to a huge
Speaker 1: like souffle and freshly cooked bacon and nicely gueaze juice
Speaker 1: on a Tuesday morning. However, there are things you can
Speaker 1: have that are real food that don't take that long.
Speaker 1: Many mornings. For instance, I fry myself two eggs and
Speaker 1: have that with a piece of fruit. But it's like
Speaker 1: a hot breakfast, and so it's not just a protein bar,
Speaker 1: which a protein bar doesn't feel like a treat. I
Speaker 1: mean maybe some people it does, but to me it
Speaker 1: does not.
Speaker 2: How about you, Sarah, Yeah, I've definitely kind of come
Speaker 2: through sixty on this. I used to be a protein
Speaker 2: bar in the car person because I was trying to
Speaker 2: like fit as much of a run as I could
Speaker 2: and kind of like sacrificed eating with any time with that.
Speaker 2: But honestly, it's I am back to like eating when
Speaker 2: the kids eat, which is kind of nice, and we
Speaker 2: don't do anything elaborate like most days it's like oatmeal
Speaker 2: bowl or cuttage cheese bowl or something like that, but
Speaker 2: it does feel a little bit more self care esque,
Speaker 2: and when you feel cared for, there's some pleasure in that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it's something you can do every day
Speaker 1: to just start the day right, and you know this
Speaker 1: is part of just planning ahead, like making sure you
Speaker 1: have the groceries to have a really easy but yummy
Speaker 1: breakfast available for you now once you start your workday,
Speaker 1: we don't need to write off this time as just
Speaker 1: all things we have to do either. I'm a big
Speaker 1: fan of trying to organize your days and your weeks
Speaker 1: so you can spend just a little bit extra time
Speaker 1: on whatever your favorite work happens to be. So presumably
Speaker 1: when you took your job, there was something you liked
Speaker 1: about it. There was something that's like, oh, I like
Speaker 1: this part, or you know, you're talking about your job
Speaker 1: at parties, people say what do you do? And you
Speaker 1: want to talk about this aspect of your job. So
Speaker 1: whatever that is, you want to figure out what it
Speaker 1: is and see if you can spend even just like
Speaker 1: an one more hour over the course of the week
Speaker 1: on the stuff you like best. So think about what
Speaker 1: makes you smile when you see it on your calendar
Speaker 1: or your to do list. What makes you say, oh,
Speaker 1: that's going to be a good day. I enjoy recording
Speaker 1: Best of Both Worlds episodes.
Speaker 2: For instance, I am always happy to write a blog post.
Speaker 2: I enjoy doing show notes for our show in the
Speaker 2: clinical world, like I do enjoy parts of my day,
Speaker 2: but it's a little bit less like predictable, because truthfully,
Speaker 2: it's like whatever's on my schedule is what I'm doing
Speaker 2: that day for the most part. But it's nice to
Speaker 2: take a moment and look at the patients on there
Speaker 2: and appreciate those whom I've gotten to know over the
Speaker 2: years and be like, oh, my gosh, I'm actually really
Speaker 2: looking forward to find out where you know, this teen
Speaker 2: patient got into college, Like how fun. I'll be able
Speaker 2: to ask them about that, and I've known them for
Speaker 2: six years or things like that. So even just identifying, yeah,
Speaker 2: the bright spots in a day that's still templated out
Speaker 2: for you, I think for those of us with some
Speaker 2: kinds of days that are less flexible, can bring this
Speaker 2: fun to your workday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, there's I mean, there's always some sorts of
Speaker 1: visits you like, probably more than others. There's probably some
Speaker 1: aspects within your practice that are like your favorite kind
Speaker 1: of work, and so when you see those coming up
Speaker 1: on your schedule, you can be like, oh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: should appreciate that. I should sort of savor that experience.
Speaker 1: You know, even as I go about my day and
Speaker 1: how have however many you know, patients, I have to
Speaker 1: get in and out in the course of the day
Speaker 1: to take a minute to enjoy that particular thing. And
Speaker 1: you could honestly do this in any job. I do
Speaker 1: believe there is something in everyone's job that they can enjoy. So,
Speaker 1: you know, I like doing the podcast, I like writing obviously.
Speaker 1: I love to have an open day where I'm working
Speaker 1: on a book. That's always really exciting for me. I
Speaker 1: do enjoy my speeches. I like getting up on stage
Speaker 1: and doing that. And even if there's not a whole
Speaker 1: lot about your job itself that you like, you probably
Speaker 1: like some of your colleagues and so that can also
Speaker 1: be an opportunity to coordinate, for instance, getting coffee or
Speaker 1: getting lunch with a colleague, Like who do you really like? Now?
Speaker 1: How can you arrange in the course of your week
Speaker 1: to see that person and spend some time with them? So,
Speaker 1: you know, just shooting a message to your colleague and
Speaker 1: saying like, hey, I'm going to take a break mid afternoon,
Speaker 1: do you want to grab coffee with me? Now, all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, both of you are looking forward to
Speaker 1: that all day, and we've put something fun into a day,
Speaker 1: however un enjoyable. The rest of whatever tasks you are
Speaker 1: doing happened to be. And you do a lot of
Speaker 1: this too, right.
Speaker 2: So totally, Like I will send a text in the
Speaker 2: morning to like ask my friends about lunch so that
Speaker 2: I can look forward to that all day. I don't
Speaker 2: do that every day, but about lunch a week. Yeah, like,
Speaker 2: and that it serves multiple purposes. You have the networking,
Speaker 2: you have the connection, and it's like a little bright
Speaker 2: spot that's not totally work, but it's definitely work adjacent.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And most people do take some sort of breaks too,
Speaker 1: I mean before you even get to what the breaks
Speaker 1: might be. You know, if you are, for instance, on
Speaker 1: your phone. There is a difference between taking a sort
Speaker 1: of unintentional break where you're looking at Instagram versus taking
Speaker 1: a quick break where you text a friend and say, yeah, hey,
Speaker 1: what are you doing, what are you up to today,
Speaker 1: how's life going? Or I saw you did this over
Speaker 1: the weekend, how was it or whatever it is. But
Speaker 1: just having that quick communication with somebody you like, friend
Speaker 1: or family member can add a little bit more pleasure
Speaker 1: into your day as well.
Speaker 2: I really really think about how I'm going to use
Speaker 2: my breaks. On my clinical days, I'm usually thinking, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm going to write a post and like take a
Speaker 2: little walk, and can I fit all that into like
Speaker 2: fifty sixty minutes, And a lot of times the answer
Speaker 2: is yes.
Speaker 1: And then when I'm.
Speaker 2: Home, I usually have a book I'm looking forward to
Speaker 2: read and like take a more relaxed lunch. So I
Speaker 2: really do think a lot of this is like forethought,
Speaker 2: because if you haven't considered it, you may just reach
Speaker 2: for the most available thing or whoever pained you at
Speaker 2: that moment. But if you already had other plans in
Speaker 2: your mind, you will move forward with those and probably
Speaker 2: be doing more of what you actually want to be doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I like to think of this as coming up
Speaker 1: with a break portfolio for the day, And part of
Speaker 1: this is anticipating when you will be able to take
Speaker 1: a break. And I know this isn't obviously built in
Speaker 1: structurally to everyone's job, but you might have a general
Speaker 1: idea of like, Okay, as I look at my schedule,
Speaker 1: I see I'm going to have this really intense meeting
Speaker 1: from ten to eleven, which probably is going to leave
Speaker 1: me a little bit depleted afterwards, So probably I should
Speaker 1: build in fifteen minutes after that to do something to
Speaker 1: boost my energy levels. And I'm going to take a
Speaker 1: quick lunch break at one o'clock and then I can
Speaker 1: see that, you know, I know my energy often dips
Speaker 1: at three point thirty in the afternoon, so I'm going
Speaker 1: to do something. Then. Now, what am I going to
Speaker 1: do in those three like I'm anticipating taking these three
Speaker 1: real breaks in the course of the day. What can
Speaker 1: I do during those times that I will enjoy and
Speaker 1: that will add to my energy levels. And there's all
Speaker 1: sorts of things you can do even if you're stuck
Speaker 1: in your office, you know, even if you are really
Speaker 1: not able to leave very easily, you know, between chatting
Speaker 1: with a friend, reading a book, if you are going
Speaker 1: to be online. Even turning this into some sort of
Speaker 1: mental vacation like looking at gorgeous photos of New Zealand
Speaker 1: versus sort of shaming media posts is a very different,
Speaker 1: very different experience, different vibe, different vibe. One other thing
Speaker 1: you can do is make a list of recent wins,
Speaker 1: so it could be easy to focus on all that
Speaker 1: still has to happen, but you might boost your mood
Speaker 1: and add a little pleasure to your day by taking
Speaker 1: five minutes to remind yourself of things you have done,
Speaker 1: probably recently, would be a little bit more generally mood boost.
Speaker 1: But you could like say over life, like look, here's
Speaker 1: all the amazing things I've done over over low these
Speaker 1: many years, or even like what have I done great
Speaker 1: last week? Like yay, I convinced Jamie not to quit
Speaker 1: until after busy season, and I finished the Jones project
Speaker 1: on time and under budget.
Speaker 2: Go me.
Speaker 1: But that can just add a little bit of fun
Speaker 1: to yourself. I mean, Sarah, you try to do this
Speaker 1: with some of your reviews, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, even on a very small scale, when
Speaker 2: you're planning a given day, you can look back to
Speaker 2: the day prior and be like, oh, look, I mean
Speaker 2: it's part of the process anyway, right because you're wanting
Speaker 2: will migrate anything that you didn't do, but take a
Speaker 2: minute to be like, ooh, look at all that I
Speaker 2: did get done. And on a bigger scale, if you're
Speaker 2: looking at the season, kind of celebrating your wins from
Speaker 2: the past season before you get to Okay, what didn't
Speaker 2: I get to that I might add to my current
Speaker 2: list is really important we have negativity biases as humans,
Speaker 2: so if we don't kind of force ourselves to take
Speaker 2: a moment to focus on the positive, we might miss it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think just generally celebrations in general, it can
Speaker 1: be so easy to just go from one thing to
Speaker 1: the next and not pause and say, well, we should
Speaker 1: celebrate this, we should celebrate this. You know, somebody got
Speaker 1: a good score on a test or something like that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Within a family, especially, like embrace those moments your kid
Speaker 2: finished off a season even though they might have not
Speaker 2: necessarily wanted to continue two thirds of the way through.
Speaker 2: That's something to celebrate. Or just finishing a school year,
Speaker 2: or getting their braces off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, why not? Why not? All of those are great ideas.
Speaker 1: All Right, we're going to take one more quick ad
Speaker 1: break and then we'll be back with more ways to
Speaker 1: put pleasure into daily life. Well, we are back talking
Speaker 1: about ways to put a little bit more pleasure into
Speaker 1: daily life. We've gone through the morning, the workday, Well,
Speaker 1: that leaves us with the evening. Having some sort of
Speaker 1: intention for fun in the evening can make these hours
Speaker 1: seem more like they exist as opposed to just drifting
Speaker 1: from the end of work into bedtime. With whatever housework
Speaker 1: and kids stuff needs to be done in there. You know,
Speaker 1: lots of people know I like to do my puzzles,
Speaker 1: so I try to always have one going. Or maybe
Speaker 1: it's a good book, Sarah, what have you been doing lately?
Speaker 2: Well, as you know, this is a perennial challenge for me,
Speaker 2: I'm resisting the temptation to just say, well, it's going
Speaker 2: to suck until your book comes out and then that
Speaker 2: will fix everything, because listeners may not know. But Laura
Speaker 2: has a book called Golden Hours coming out in like
Speaker 2: what twenty twenty seven. Maybe yeah, I have to write
Speaker 2: it first, so I probably should not wait for that. No,
Speaker 2: I've actually been putting a lot of energy into this specifically,
Speaker 2: and things have been better. I try to think of
Speaker 2: like one thing to do, even if it's just like
Speaker 2: I'm going to sit on the couch and read my
Speaker 2: summer reading book while my kids watch a show like
Speaker 2: and savor that like relative Piece, or take a block
Speaker 2: long walk outside because you know, it's actually a nice
Speaker 2: evening something like that. And the more I do think
Speaker 2: about specific ways i'd like to use that time, the
Speaker 2: better things are.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 2: When I go to the defaults, that's when it falls apart.
Speaker 1: That's when it all falls apart. You know, are having
Speaker 1: some sort of enjoyable like beverage, and I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it has to be alcohol because they know that. You know,
Speaker 1: I've decided to stop drinking any sort of alcohol during
Speaker 1: the week unless I'm like out to a special occasion
Speaker 1: or something. But having something that's enjoyable to sip like
Speaker 1: that could be some sort of mocktail. It could be
Speaker 1: like perier or you know, some sort of like that
Speaker 1: can make the evening feel little bit more festive as well.
Speaker 1: With that making kid time more pleasant, Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: we don't want to be in a situation. Even if
Speaker 1: you're in a really challenging stage of life, like with
Speaker 1: multiple small kids, it just feels so hard to be
Speaker 1: counting the minutes until bedtime. So anything you can do
Speaker 1: to make kid time more pleasant. If you're shuttling kids
Speaker 1: around to activities, you might think through pain points like
Speaker 1: can you listen to cool stuff in the car? Can
Speaker 1: you walk or run near the soccer field? Is there
Speaker 1: a bookstore next to your kids dance studio? Is there
Speaker 1: something you can do? Can you call a friend while
Speaker 1: you are sitting out in the car line outside the
Speaker 1: musical theater class like what can you do to make
Speaker 1: this time not so terrible? And if you are caring
Speaker 1: for little ones, feel free to steer them toward activities
Speaker 1: that you find more enjoyable in a way from ones
Speaker 1: you like less like, for instance, if you've got some
Speaker 1: crafts already set up, they may not realize that they
Speaker 1: should be asking for candy Land, which you do not
Speaker 1: wish to play books you enjoy, so you can hide
Speaker 1: the monstrosities such as The Giving Tree, far far away
Speaker 1: and never have to read that book again.
Speaker 2: Wow, the Giving Tree, I don't think I remember that
Speaker 2: you had strong feelings about that one. That's like my
Speaker 2: Richard scary, like we're opposite on that Giving Tree does
Speaker 2: not bother me, And in fact, I think I may
Speaker 2: have cried while reading it at least a few times.
Speaker 1: So it's like the Tree with no boundaries. It's true,
Speaker 1: it's true, but it's sad therapy. So that they could
Speaker 1: set better boundaries.
Speaker 2: Well, I already discussed my current Babysitters Club streak with
Speaker 2: bedtime reading with Jenevieve, but it really has elevated bad time,
Speaker 2: like I am enjoying reading to her things that I
Speaker 2: read as a kid, So I'm going to be continuing
Speaker 2: to delve into those various genres.
Speaker 1: Yes, and then finally, as we're ending off the day,
Speaker 1: if you happen to be living with someone that you
Speaker 1: are in a romantic partnership with, enjoying their company in
Speaker 1: the course of the evening could definitely add a little
Speaker 1: bit of pleasure into a normal, everyday sort of life.
Speaker 1: And so we'll just leave it at that.
Speaker 2: Yes, no reason that that special time has to be,
Speaker 2: you know, limited to a certain certain night.
Speaker 1: That can be Saturday night only Tuesday can work as well,
Speaker 1: all right, So those are ways to add a little
Speaker 1: bit more pleasure into daily life. Related to this, we
Speaker 1: have a question from a listener on ways to save
Speaker 1: money that don't feel too much like deprivation. So I know,
Speaker 1: at various points in people's lives they need decide, you know,
Speaker 1: we need to watch the finances a little bit more closely.
Speaker 1: But the problem is when it just feels like no
Speaker 1: fun whatsoever, people tend not to stick with it. So
Speaker 1: looking for sustainable ways that might on the margins change
Speaker 1: things a little. What did you have, Sarah, Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think cooking versus eating out, especially if you like want
Speaker 1: a certain type of food and you have kids that
Speaker 1: are eating more to the point where like every restaurant
Speaker 1: visit turns into like a triple digit affair.
Speaker 2: Maybe not every, but many. I will say that, like
Speaker 2: that is one that pays a lot of dividends and
Speaker 2: you might actually end up with better food at home,
Speaker 2: and it doesn't necessarily take more time either, if you've
Speaker 2: done some of the planning of having stuff at home
Speaker 2: that you want to make.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and with that, I mean in general, anything bought
Speaker 1: at the grocery store is going to be cheaper than
Speaker 1: food bought out, and that includes like convenience stuff at
Speaker 1: the grocery store. So if if you know, in order
Speaker 1: to have a dinner that's not take out, you decide
Speaker 1: to get the rotisserie chicken and bag salad, like, it's
Speaker 1: still going to be cheaper than going to a restaurant.
Speaker 1: But that said, I was fascinated to hear it because
Speaker 1: we were having a discussion on this on our Best
Speaker 1: of Both Worlds Patreon community. Some grocery stores are actually
Speaker 1: significantly cheaper than others. So you found this, right, Sarah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've found that so in my area, like the
Speaker 2: chain grocery store basically as Publics and Trader Joe's, and
Speaker 2: I've heard Aldi as well, is probably in my experience
Speaker 2: about thirty percent less, which is a lot. I mean,
Speaker 2: especially again when you're feeding a larger family that's hundreds
Speaker 2: of dollars a month. That's not you know, Latte change.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which I had not quite been aware of that.
Speaker 1: I mean, we sort of have our local grocery stores
Speaker 1: that we go to, and I've looked in their reasonably
Speaker 1: similar price, but I don't have a discount one right
Speaker 1: by me, So that could definitely be an option for
Speaker 1: people like looking at all these Trader Joe's, especially if
Speaker 1: you've been shopping at somewhere that's known for not being
Speaker 1: necessarily cheapest thing. A lot of people like whole foods
Speaker 1: for various things, and if you need certain foods because
Speaker 1: of dietary reasons, then that may be where you are.
Speaker 1: But if that's not you, or at least it's not
Speaker 1: like your four teenage boys who are eating like an
Speaker 1: entire shopping cart worth of food every single day, you
Speaker 1: might be able to cut that down a bit by
Speaker 1: shopping at a slightly cheaper place. I think you also
Speaker 1: want to make a list of kind of free mood boosters,
Speaker 1: because sometimes we wind up spending money just out of
Speaker 1: we're looking for something to do, like what are we
Speaker 1: doing this weekend? And the things we come up with
Speaker 1: off the top of our heads turn out to be
Speaker 1: pricier than things that aren't. And so just think of, like, well,
Speaker 1: what could we do well? Here are the places we
Speaker 1: like to go walk, these are the shows we like.
Speaker 1: We can get a hall of books from the library,
Speaker 1: play dates in certain places with friends. I mean, these
Speaker 1: are all like having a potluck dinner, you know, these
Speaker 1: are all sort of ways that could turn down the
Speaker 1: entertainment a little bit. What else, Sarah, Well.
Speaker 2: The library in general, and I'll even actually say you
Speaker 2: can combine those and I've heard we're in certain areas
Speaker 2: you can actually rent passes to local attractions at the library,
Speaker 2: So you might even be able to do things that
Speaker 2: ordinarily would cost money for less. So just make sure
Speaker 2: you're not sleeping on those opportunities. And a subscription audit
Speaker 2: is always a good idea. Probably the easiest way to
Speaker 2: do this is to go through your actual credit card
Speaker 2: statements or whatever it's being built. You can also look
Speaker 2: in your iCloud account if you have a bunch of
Speaker 2: like Apple purchase subscriptions and just go one by one
Speaker 2: and be like if today I was making the decision
Speaker 2: to buy this or not, like am I using it?
Speaker 2: Like would I want it? Because I think for some
Speaker 2: of us it's like, oh, well I signed up for
Speaker 2: that and I still have it, so you know, it's
Speaker 2: like inertia. But those kinds of recurring things can add
Speaker 2: up more significantly than you think.
Speaker 1: Well, with that, I think you probably want to get
Speaker 1: a sense. It's the same thing with time. And I
Speaker 1: don't really like tracking spending, but if you are actively
Speaker 1: trying to cut this down and manage it, then it
Speaker 1: might be worth seeing because you might be surprised at
Speaker 1: some category that is bigger than you thought it was
Speaker 1: and that you don't care about, and then that might
Speaker 1: be worth trimming. But then you might see that something
Speaker 1: like maybe you're not spending a lot on food, and
Speaker 1: then all this advice about trimming grocery spending is actually
Speaker 1: not relevant to you at all, and so it's not
Speaker 1: worth pursuing that that you should look at something else instead.
Speaker 2: Yes, sorry, I should have led with that because I
Speaker 2: am a very dedicated wine app user. And maybe I
Speaker 2: just took that for granted that this person already knew
Speaker 2: the ins and outs of where their cash was going.
Speaker 2: But honestly, I do think that's probably the very first step.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, please send us other ideas. If you have
Speaker 1: ways that you found to trem spending in pursuit of
Speaker 1: a financial goal without feeling deprived, we'd love to hear
Speaker 1: about it. You can always reach out to both of us.
Speaker 1: I mean, we can share some of those in a
Speaker 1: later episode. All right, So, Sarah Love of the Week.
Speaker 1: We've had a lot of Love of the weeks already
Speaker 1: in this episode. Things that add pleasure into your daily life.
Speaker 1: But what else would you add?
Speaker 2: I would say orchids. So we were gifted in orchid
Speaker 2: for Mother's Day and it really elevates a space. And
Speaker 2: of all the flowers out there, they seem to last
Speaker 2: and last and last. I feel like that is one
Speaker 2: little simple pleasure that I get to get up and
Speaker 2: as I'm making the coffee and worating breakfast, we have
Speaker 2: lovely flowering orchid. Now, maybe they're a little climate specific,
Speaker 2: they might do better here, I'm not sure, but they
Speaker 2: seem to just last for like months, well.
Speaker 1: They're inside. I mean, you know you're inside is a
Speaker 1: different I mean, it's probably a similar climate everywhere, you know,
Speaker 1: most people like somewhere in the seventies and a certain
Speaker 1: humidity range. So apparently that's what the orchid does well in.
Speaker 1: But yeah, no, we I love fresh flowers in general,
Speaker 1: I almost never buy them, although that would be a nice,
Speaker 1: relatively inexpensive way to add a pleasure into your daily life.
Speaker 2: Especially from Trader Joe's especially.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, it's like very cheap, so if you are
Speaker 1: shopping there, that could be you know, use some of
Speaker 1: the money you are not paying for a higher grocery
Speaker 1: store to add a little bit of color to your
Speaker 1: kitchen table. But right now, I mean, we have a
Speaker 1: lot of blooming flowers in the yard, and so we've
Speaker 1: just been cutting those and putting them in a vase.
Speaker 1: And so I had a lovely arrangement of roses on
Speaker 1: the counter for a while this week, and that that
Speaker 1: made me happy. But that was not my official love
Speaker 1: of the week. Mine was listening to Hooven in the car.
Speaker 1: So if you do have to drive around a lot,
Speaker 1: listening to things can add a little bit of pleasure
Speaker 1: into your day. And I would say we love for
Speaker 1: you to listen to this podcast, but there's only one
Speaker 1: of them a week, and even if you listen to
Speaker 1: Best Laid Plans and listen to before breakfast, that still
Speaker 1: will probably not get you through all the time you
Speaker 1: are spending in transit in the course of a week.
Speaker 1: So adding some good music is wonderful and elevating this
Speaker 1: time a little bit versus just whatever happened to be
Speaker 1: coming up on whatever you're streaming or listening to in
Speaker 1: the radio can be nice. So I've been listening to
Speaker 1: all the works of Beth Hooven and it's been great.
Speaker 2: This morning I listened to Matt Burnisher's new album, So yeah,
Speaker 2: it tastes very but I like music too.
Speaker 1: Music is awesome. All right, Well, this has been best
Speaker 1: of both worlds. We've been talking about ways to add
Speaker 1: a little bit more pleasure into your daily life. We
Speaker 1: will be back next week with more on making work
Speaker 1: and life fit together.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the
Speaker 2: shoe box dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box
Speaker 2: on Instagram, and you.
Speaker 1: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This
Speaker 1: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join
Speaker 1: us next time for more on making work and life
Speaker 1: work together.