1 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist, 2 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: and speaker. 3 00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:19,120 Speaker 2: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer, 4 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:22,280 Speaker 2: and course creator. We are two working parents who love 5 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 2: our careers and our families. 6 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about 7 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun. 8 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,200 Speaker 1: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals. 9 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 1: We want you to get the most out of life. 10 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This 11 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:47,240 Speaker 1: episode is airing in late June of twenty twenty five. 12 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: This episode, Skip the Misery Please, was inspired by one 13 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 1: of my vander hacks. I have a substack newsletter called 14 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,720 Speaker 1: vander Hack, and this particular post was called skip the Misery, 15 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: and short version of the story is I was a 16 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 1: bit set off by a few posts from various bros 17 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:12,319 Speaker 1: on social media about their cold showers and how their 18 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:14,760 Speaker 1: cold showers were there to toughen them up, and everyone 19 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: should have cold showers in the mornings that we develop discipline, 20 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,600 Speaker 1: and I'm like, really, you know, is your life so 21 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,039 Speaker 1: easy that you have to invent ways to toughen yourself up, 22 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:27,759 Speaker 1: or like you're not even like suffering in some useful way, right, 23 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:29,240 Speaker 1: Like you, I don't know, you're like, go become like 24 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,600 Speaker 1: a volunteer firefighter or something, Go pull people out of 25 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 1: their cars in the cold rain in the middle of 26 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,080 Speaker 1: the night. That could toughen you up, too, but would 27 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,479 Speaker 1: have a useful purpose. But anyway, I was a bit 28 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: set off with this that there's no real reason to 29 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: suffer unnecessarily. Life is often hard enough. Often people are 30 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 1: just trying to get through the day, So no reason 31 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: to seek out extra suffering. We should seek out more pleasure. 32 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 2: What do you think, Sarah, Yeah, hopefully all those bros 33 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 2: who are looking for more ways to suffer are already 34 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:01,440 Speaker 2: maximizing their suffering and like the getting for school routine 35 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 2: and the getting your toddler to bed routine, and they're 36 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 2: really they've run out of places to suffer and therefore 37 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 2: need to add extra Yeah. 38 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: I don't know, these have never like been up all 39 00:02:12,919 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: night with a sick kid and develop your suffering in 40 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,839 Speaker 1: that sense, or being in a five hour car ride 41 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 1: with a child who keeps screaming, or you know, anything 42 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: like that. I suspect that this has not been a 43 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,639 Speaker 1: regular part of their lives. But the point of the 44 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 1: vander Hack was to list ways that we could add 45 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: more pleasure into a regular, normal day. And so you know, 46 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, suffering is just not good 47 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: enough itself. Yes, it needs to be for a useful purpose, 48 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 1: and there's no reason to do right, I mean, Sarah, and. 49 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 2: You turned it around. You're like, actually, let's focus on 50 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 2: the opposite of that, which is what I loved about 51 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 2: this post. So I'm a vander Hack subscriber and when 52 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 2: I read Laura's ideas and just the topic, I was like, 53 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 2: this needs to be an episode because it's it's true. 54 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 2: Why are we looking for more negativity when we can 55 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 2: look for more ways to get positivity and fun and 56 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 2: joy out of our days. 57 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: Absolutely, and no one wins in the misery Olympics. So 58 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:14,880 Speaker 1: we're gonna go through a list of ways to add 59 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:19,280 Speaker 1: a little bit more fun and enjoyment into everyday life. 60 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: So one of the first ways I like doing this 61 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: is to plan something to look forward to. So as 62 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: part of my weekly planning exercise, I try to say, well, 63 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: as I'm looking at what has happening in the next week, 64 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: is there anything that I am genuinely looking forward to. 65 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: I kind of call this a fun audit. As you 66 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: look at your schedule, is there anything you are genuinely 67 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: looking forward to? There's, of course, the things that you 68 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: are going to need to do, things you have to do, 69 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,240 Speaker 1: things that you are sort of think are okay, but 70 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: you know, it's more like you are doing them because 71 00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,640 Speaker 1: they're important or meaningful things. But that said, is there 72 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:59,560 Speaker 1: anything you are genuinely looking forward to? And if there 73 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: isn't any, it's time to plan something in You do this, right, Sarah. 74 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I do this. I feel like I do it 75 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 2: more intensely at like the monthly and seasonal levels. If 76 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 2: I feel like the month is just like eh, I 77 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 2: think about where could I stick a day trip in there? 78 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,520 Speaker 2: Or would this be a nice you know, okay, I 79 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 2: have an open day. Should I try to get a 80 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 2: massage that day? Like I want to have something on 81 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,080 Speaker 2: that monthly grid that looks special and exciting, And to 82 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 2: a smaller extent, on the week, sometimes we can be 83 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,120 Speaker 2: a little trickier just because if you have a very 84 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 2: packed week, there can be so many kind of hard 85 00:04:30,360 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 2: landscape items that adding more can almost take away from 86 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 2: the fun if there's too much, like I'm talking about 87 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:38,000 Speaker 2: a call week or something like that. But still it's 88 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 2: nice to have some kind of bright spot, and it 89 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 2: can be so low key. Honestly, one of the lowest 90 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 2: key ones that I can think of are like media, 91 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,280 Speaker 2: So a book that I'm excited to pick up from 92 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 2: the library, or like a TV series that's coming out 93 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 2: or that I've just heard about and I'm excited to watch. 94 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 2: Just being like, you know what, on Friday night, I'm 95 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 2: going to dive into that new Netflix show that I've 96 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,839 Speaker 2: heard about can be just a b as you go 97 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 2: throughout your week, even a packed one. 98 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:05,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, Or deciding that you're gonna call a friend, like 99 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: at some point where you have a little space, or 100 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,160 Speaker 1: if you're going for like a twenty minute walk on 101 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: a lunch break, maybe you can you know, call a 102 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:14,840 Speaker 1: friend during that and make it a double win in 103 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: terms of a mood booster. Just anything like that. But 104 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 1: knowing you're going to have like dinner with friends next 105 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 1: week can make today and every day before that feel 106 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: better as you're like, oh, life isn't all just this 107 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,839 Speaker 1: day to day grind. Here's something I'm genuinely excited about 108 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: in my future, and I think people really need that. 109 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: Now we can also make regular daily events more exciting. 110 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,360 Speaker 1: A second thing on this list was to forget the 111 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: cold showers and make your shower more like a spa. Now. 112 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:50,440 Speaker 1: A couple of things you can do here, even you 113 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: know that are low key. But one thing I did 114 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,839 Speaker 1: has I got nice towels that are only for me, 115 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: Like nobody else may use these towels. And if you 116 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: have lots of children, you know that they do all 117 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,480 Speaker 1: sorts of things with towels, and then they wind up 118 00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,800 Speaker 1: like sitting on the floor of the bathroom for like 119 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 1: multiple days, and they're wadded up into a corner, and 120 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,320 Speaker 1: who knows what they wiped off their face with the towel, 121 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: and you know there's somebody's like face paint on it 122 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: and I you know, chocolate, who knows. But my towels 123 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: do not have that because I'm not having face paints. 124 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 1: My towels are wonderful. Sarah, how about you? How have 125 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,920 Speaker 1: you made your shower better? Yeah? 126 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,840 Speaker 2: Interesting about the towels. We also do something where we 127 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:36,119 Speaker 2: kind of collar code our towels, and the adult towels 128 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,760 Speaker 2: are white and the kid's towels. I don't even know 129 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 2: what color each kid is, but they're not white, and 130 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 2: I kind of know it'd be like side eyeing a 131 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 2: kid if I see them with a white towel, so 132 00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 2: I guess we kind of do something similar. But yeah, 133 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 2: just making sure the products I have in there are 134 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:53,160 Speaker 2: things that I really enjoy using. I will spend out on, 135 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 2: like a really nice body wash. I tend to buy 136 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,040 Speaker 2: nice shampoo and conditioner that are sort of like go 137 00:06:59,120 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 2: with my Japanese straightening system. I mean, do these things 138 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,359 Speaker 2: truly make a giant difference in my hair, But I 139 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: just like feel cared for, and they're usually like these 140 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:10,320 Speaker 2: nicer Japanese nicely scented products, And I don't know. Yeah, 141 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:13,520 Speaker 2: I think that making sure that the shower is a 142 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 2: welcoming respite is an important way to get a little 143 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:18,800 Speaker 2: joy out of a mundane moment of your day. 144 00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: Yeah. I like this grapefruit scented facewash that I use. 145 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: I think it's just like nutrigina, but it smells nice. 146 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:26,920 Speaker 1: It's like in the morning, it's like a nice little 147 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 1: pick me up as they're in a nice, warm, wonderful shower, 148 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: which with that you can consciously decide to linger for like, 149 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: an extra even sixty seconds, Like in most people's run 150 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: of show in the morning, sixty seconds is kind of 151 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 1: within the margin of error, you know, unless things are 152 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,119 Speaker 1: really tight. So you could decide to just say, Okay, 153 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 1: I'm done showering, but I'm just gonna sit here and 154 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:58,120 Speaker 1: relax and deep breathe in and out, enjoy this feeling, 155 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: enjoy this sensation before going around your day, and have 156 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:04,240 Speaker 1: sixty seconds of pleasure there. 157 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 2: And it can kind of, I don't know, pay dividends 158 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 2: and that you will just because you're the kind of 159 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 2: person who got to linger even though it was like 160 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 2: very brief, you might feel a different way about the 161 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 2: entire routine. Now, we're not saying to use up ninety 162 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 2: thousand gallons of hot water and energy and that kind 163 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 2: of a thing, so within reason, but yes, probably an 164 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 2: extra sixty seconds would be. 165 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: Turn off the water while you're brushing your teeth, for instance, 166 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: you know, turn off the lights when you leave the bathroom. 167 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 1: But if this is something that would make daily life 168 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,040 Speaker 1: feel better than we you have our permission to try it. 169 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: Moving on to the morning routine, another idea that might 170 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 1: make daily life more pleasurable is to drink a cup 171 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,319 Speaker 1: of coffee in peace. So both of us are coffee drinkers. Sarah, 172 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:47,560 Speaker 1: you're sort of in a mixed you know, calf half calf. 173 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,840 Speaker 2: Oh no, I already went back. 174 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: You already would take back. Okay, it lasted. 175 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 2: I was very well behaved for a while, but no, 176 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 2: I since I now take some medicine, I felt like 177 00:08:57,200 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 2: I could go back to real caffee. 178 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: You're in well, so we're back real coffee now. But 179 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: there's something so nice about being able to just sit 180 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: and drink your coffee while doing something of your choice, 181 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,959 Speaker 1: as opposed to like putting it down on the counter 182 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 1: and then racing off to deal with something else and 183 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: coming back and it's cooled down and you either drink 184 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 1: it lukewarm or you put it in the microwave. But then, 185 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:23,760 Speaker 1: of course the microwave coffee is not exactly the height 186 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 1: of pleasure here. So arranging your morning so that you 187 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 1: can sit down and drink it now that might involve 188 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,040 Speaker 1: waking up a tiny bit earlier, or if you have 189 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 1: some sort of morning routine, perhaps you can incorporate this 190 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:40,400 Speaker 1: into it. In my neck of the woods, I really 191 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: like to drink my coffee outside and I'm somewhere where 192 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,600 Speaker 1: that can be done for at least a couple months 193 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 1: of the year. Sarah, how about you, your morning routine 194 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: involves really sitting in enjoying your coffee too. Yeah. 195 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 2: Absolutely. I mean I've done lots of thinking about exactly 196 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 2: how I want to use those precious moments of solitude 197 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,559 Speaker 2: in the morning, and I love part of it is 198 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,319 Speaker 2: drinking my coffee, usually while I'm reading, and then I 199 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,319 Speaker 2: kind of like move on to other things and kind 200 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 2: of end with a workout. And on the same note, 201 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 2: as a fancy station sorry the fancy shower gel, you 202 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 2: can have elevated stationary products that make your kind of mourning, planning, 203 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 2: or even just the rest of the admin you do 204 00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 2: throughout the day more fun. I always say life is 205 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:22,079 Speaker 2: too short for bad pens, and so I feel very 206 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 2: strongly about that nice session with my coffee and my 207 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 2: planner of choice and my best pens to start the day. 208 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:31,079 Speaker 1: You get a good mug too, like some bugs are 209 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: not as nice as other mugs, and I like a 210 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,880 Speaker 1: good big one, like it needs to be at least 211 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:40,760 Speaker 1: fifteen ounces, like a little bit substantial with the handle, 212 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: and that the handle's not going to burn my hand 213 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: or anything. There's all sorts of things. Make sure you've 214 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,200 Speaker 1: got the good mugs if you're gonna have this experience. 215 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 1: And I was going to say, there's a Barnes and 216 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 1: Noble that just opened near me and it's got a 217 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 1: whole stationary section. So I feel like this may wind 218 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:00,360 Speaker 1: up being more a part of my life because you know, 219 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: I don't want to really buy stuff online with that 220 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: because you can't like see it, you can't touch it, 221 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: you can't see what you're getting. But the physical store 222 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: may have a lot of that. 223 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:12,560 Speaker 2: They do have a lot their people don't actually realize, 224 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 2: but that section is sizable and they have some of 225 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:15,560 Speaker 2: the nice brands. 226 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, well that'll be part of it. Well 227 00:11:17,679 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 1: we're going to take a quick ad break and then 228 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: we'll be back with more on how to add more 229 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:37,559 Speaker 1: pleasure into your daily life. Well, we are back talking 230 00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:40,400 Speaker 1: about how to skip the misery. Please. We want you 231 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:44,160 Speaker 1: to enjoy more of your daily life. And while we're 232 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:49,400 Speaker 1: still on mornings, having a real breakfast is a way 233 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,640 Speaker 1: to make a morning feel just a little bit more 234 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: like a treat. And I know that you know, most 235 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,560 Speaker 1: people are not going to sit down to a huge 236 00:11:56,600 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: like souffle and freshly cooked bacon and nicely gueaze juice 237 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,959 Speaker 1: on a Tuesday morning. However, there are things you can 238 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 1: have that are real food that don't take that long. 239 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: Many mornings. For instance, I fry myself two eggs and 240 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,520 Speaker 1: have that with a piece of fruit. But it's like 241 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:20,760 Speaker 1: a hot breakfast, and so it's not just a protein bar, 242 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,600 Speaker 1: which a protein bar doesn't feel like a treat. I 243 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: mean maybe some people it does, but to me it 244 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 1: does not. 245 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,240 Speaker 2: How about you, Sarah, Yeah, I've definitely kind of come 246 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 2: through sixty on this. I used to be a protein 247 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,160 Speaker 2: bar in the car person because I was trying to 248 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 2: like fit as much of a run as I could 249 00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 2: and kind of like sacrificed eating with any time with that. 250 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 2: But honestly, it's I am back to like eating when 251 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 2: the kids eat, which is kind of nice, and we 252 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 2: don't do anything elaborate like most days it's like oatmeal 253 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 2: bowl or cuttage cheese bowl or something like that, but 254 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 2: it does feel a little bit more self care esque, 255 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 2: and when you feel cared for, there's some pleasure in that. 256 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, it's something you can do every day 257 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,120 Speaker 1: to just start the day right, and you know this 258 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,080 Speaker 1: is part of just planning ahead, like making sure you 259 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,600 Speaker 1: have the groceries to have a really easy but yummy 260 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 1: breakfast available for you now once you start your workday, 261 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: we don't need to write off this time as just 262 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 1: all things we have to do either. I'm a big 263 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 1: fan of trying to organize your days and your weeks 264 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,079 Speaker 1: so you can spend just a little bit extra time 265 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: on whatever your favorite work happens to be. So presumably 266 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: when you took your job, there was something you liked 267 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,560 Speaker 1: about it. There was something that's like, oh, I like 268 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: this part, or you know, you're talking about your job 269 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,840 Speaker 1: at parties, people say what do you do? And you 270 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: want to talk about this aspect of your job. So 271 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 1: whatever that is, you want to figure out what it 272 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,400 Speaker 1: is and see if you can spend even just like 273 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,880 Speaker 1: an one more hour over the course of the week 274 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: on the stuff you like best. So think about what 275 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 1: makes you smile when you see it on your calendar 276 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,000 Speaker 1: or your to do list. What makes you say, oh, 277 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: that's going to be a good day. I enjoy recording 278 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,960 Speaker 1: Best of Both Worlds episodes. 279 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,160 Speaker 2: For instance, I am always happy to write a blog post. 280 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,480 Speaker 2: I enjoy doing show notes for our show in the 281 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 2: clinical world, like I do enjoy parts of my day, 282 00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:15,679 Speaker 2: but it's a little bit less like predictable, because truthfully, 283 00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 2: it's like whatever's on my schedule is what I'm doing 284 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,000 Speaker 2: that day for the most part. But it's nice to 285 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 2: take a moment and look at the patients on there 286 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 2: and appreciate those whom I've gotten to know over the 287 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:28,360 Speaker 2: years and be like, oh, my gosh, I'm actually really 288 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 2: looking forward to find out where you know, this teen 289 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,760 Speaker 2: patient got into college, Like how fun. I'll be able 290 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 2: to ask them about that, and I've known them for 291 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 2: six years or things like that. So even just identifying, yeah, 292 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,280 Speaker 2: the bright spots in a day that's still templated out 293 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 2: for you, I think for those of us with some 294 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 2: kinds of days that are less flexible, can bring this 295 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 2: fun to your workday. 296 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, there's I mean, there's always some sorts of 297 00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,520 Speaker 1: visits you like, probably more than others. There's probably some 298 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: aspects within your practice that are like your favorite kind 299 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: of work, and so when you see those coming up 300 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: on your schedule, you can be like, oh, yeah, I 301 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:04,320 Speaker 1: should appreciate that. I should sort of savor that experience. 302 00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 1: You know, even as I go about my day and 303 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,800 Speaker 1: how have however many you know, patients, I have to 304 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: get in and out in the course of the day 305 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,080 Speaker 1: to take a minute to enjoy that particular thing. And 306 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 1: you could honestly do this in any job. I do 307 00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 1: believe there is something in everyone's job that they can enjoy. So, 308 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: you know, I like doing the podcast, I like writing obviously. 309 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 1: I love to have an open day where I'm working 310 00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 1: on a book. That's always really exciting for me. I 311 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: do enjoy my speeches. I like getting up on stage 312 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: and doing that. And even if there's not a whole 313 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,600 Speaker 1: lot about your job itself that you like, you probably 314 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,320 Speaker 1: like some of your colleagues and so that can also 315 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 1: be an opportunity to coordinate, for instance, getting coffee or 316 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 1: getting lunch with a colleague, Like who do you really like? Now? 317 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 1: How can you arrange in the course of your week 318 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,400 Speaker 1: to see that person and spend some time with them? So, 319 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 1: you know, just shooting a message to your colleague and 320 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,840 Speaker 1: saying like, hey, I'm going to take a break mid afternoon, 321 00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,000 Speaker 1: do you want to grab coffee with me? Now, all 322 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 1: of a sudden, both of you are looking forward to 323 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:08,640 Speaker 1: that all day, and we've put something fun into a day, 324 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: however un enjoyable. The rest of whatever tasks you are 325 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,640 Speaker 1: doing happened to be. And you do a lot of 326 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 1: this too, right. 327 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 2: So totally, Like I will send a text in the 328 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 2: morning to like ask my friends about lunch so that 329 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,600 Speaker 2: I can look forward to that all day. I don't 330 00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 2: do that every day, but about lunch a week. Yeah, like, 331 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,520 Speaker 2: and that it serves multiple purposes. You have the networking, 332 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 2: you have the connection, and it's like a little bright 333 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 2: spot that's not totally work, but it's definitely work adjacent. 334 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:38,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, And most people do take some sort of breaks too, 335 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 1: I mean before you even get to what the breaks 336 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:42,920 Speaker 1: might be. You know, if you are, for instance, on 337 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: your phone. There is a difference between taking a sort 338 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: of unintentional break where you're looking at Instagram versus taking 339 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: a quick break where you text a friend and say, yeah, hey, 340 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 1: what are you doing, what are you up to today, 341 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,880 Speaker 1: how's life going? Or I saw you did this over 342 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: the weekend, how was it or whatever it is. But 343 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:06,360 Speaker 1: just having that quick communication with somebody you like, friend 344 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,640 Speaker 1: or family member can add a little bit more pleasure 345 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,640 Speaker 1: into your day as well. 346 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:14,040 Speaker 2: I really really think about how I'm going to use 347 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,199 Speaker 2: my breaks. On my clinical days, I'm usually thinking, oh, 348 00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:18,720 Speaker 2: I'm going to write a post and like take a 349 00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 2: little walk, and can I fit all that into like 350 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,720 Speaker 2: fifty sixty minutes, And a lot of times the answer 351 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:23,200 Speaker 2: is yes. 352 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: And then when I'm. 353 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 2: Home, I usually have a book I'm looking forward to 354 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:30,040 Speaker 2: read and like take a more relaxed lunch. So I 355 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,400 Speaker 2: really do think a lot of this is like forethought, 356 00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 2: because if you haven't considered it, you may just reach 357 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,879 Speaker 2: for the most available thing or whoever pained you at 358 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,239 Speaker 2: that moment. But if you already had other plans in 359 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,600 Speaker 2: your mind, you will move forward with those and probably 360 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,400 Speaker 2: be doing more of what you actually want to be doing. 361 00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. I like to think of this as coming up 362 00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:53,480 Speaker 1: with a break portfolio for the day, And part of 363 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,240 Speaker 1: this is anticipating when you will be able to take 364 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: a break. And I know this isn't obviously built in 365 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:01,639 Speaker 1: structurally to everyone's job, but you might have a general 366 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 1: idea of like, Okay, as I look at my schedule, 367 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: I see I'm going to have this really intense meeting 368 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 1: from ten to eleven, which probably is going to leave 369 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: me a little bit depleted afterwards, So probably I should 370 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:15,240 Speaker 1: build in fifteen minutes after that to do something to 371 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: boost my energy levels. And I'm going to take a 372 00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:20,440 Speaker 1: quick lunch break at one o'clock and then I can 373 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 1: see that, you know, I know my energy often dips 374 00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 1: at three point thirty in the afternoon, so I'm going 375 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,920 Speaker 1: to do something. Then. Now, what am I going to 376 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,760 Speaker 1: do in those three like I'm anticipating taking these three 377 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,360 Speaker 1: real breaks in the course of the day. What can 378 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: I do during those times that I will enjoy and 379 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 1: that will add to my energy levels. And there's all 380 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,440 Speaker 1: sorts of things you can do even if you're stuck 381 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 1: in your office, you know, even if you are really 382 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: not able to leave very easily, you know, between chatting 383 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: with a friend, reading a book, if you are going 384 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 1: to be online. Even turning this into some sort of 385 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:56,520 Speaker 1: mental vacation like looking at gorgeous photos of New Zealand 386 00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:01,760 Speaker 1: versus sort of shaming media posts is a very different, 387 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:07,120 Speaker 1: very different experience, different vibe, different vibe. One other thing 388 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:11,160 Speaker 1: you can do is make a list of recent wins, 389 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,480 Speaker 1: so it could be easy to focus on all that 390 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,200 Speaker 1: still has to happen, but you might boost your mood 391 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 1: and add a little pleasure to your day by taking 392 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 1: five minutes to remind yourself of things you have done, 393 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 1: probably recently, would be a little bit more generally mood boost. 394 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,160 Speaker 1: But you could like say over life, like look, here's 395 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:30,920 Speaker 1: all the amazing things I've done over over low these 396 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,080 Speaker 1: many years, or even like what have I done great 397 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,360 Speaker 1: last week? Like yay, I convinced Jamie not to quit 398 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:37,880 Speaker 1: until after busy season, and I finished the Jones project 399 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:38,959 Speaker 1: on time and under budget. 400 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 2: Go me. 401 00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: But that can just add a little bit of fun 402 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,119 Speaker 1: to yourself. I mean, Sarah, you try to do this 403 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:45,720 Speaker 1: with some of your reviews, right. 404 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, even on a very small scale, when 405 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 2: you're planning a given day, you can look back to 406 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:51,639 Speaker 2: the day prior and be like, oh, look, I mean 407 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 2: it's part of the process anyway, right because you're wanting 408 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,879 Speaker 2: will migrate anything that you didn't do, but take a 409 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,679 Speaker 2: minute to be like, ooh, look at all that I 410 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,000 Speaker 2: did get done. And on a bigger scale, if you're 411 00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,439 Speaker 2: looking at the season, kind of celebrating your wins from 412 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 2: the past season before you get to Okay, what didn't 413 00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:06,960 Speaker 2: I get to that I might add to my current 414 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:10,640 Speaker 2: list is really important we have negativity biases as humans, 415 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 2: so if we don't kind of force ourselves to take 416 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,560 Speaker 2: a moment to focus on the positive, we might miss it. 417 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:20,119 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think just generally celebrations in general, it can 418 00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 1: be so easy to just go from one thing to 419 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: the next and not pause and say, well, we should 420 00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,919 Speaker 1: celebrate this, we should celebrate this. You know, somebody got 421 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:33,760 Speaker 1: a good score on a test or something like that. Yeah. 422 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,879 Speaker 2: Within a family, especially, like embrace those moments your kid 423 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,480 Speaker 2: finished off a season even though they might have not 424 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 2: necessarily wanted to continue two thirds of the way through. 425 00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,920 Speaker 2: That's something to celebrate. Or just finishing a school year, 426 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 2: or getting their braces off. 427 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, why not? Why not? All of those are great ideas. 428 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,080 Speaker 1: All Right, we're going to take one more quick ad 429 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 1: break and then we'll be back with more ways to 430 00:20:54,000 --> 00:21:09,679 Speaker 1: put pleasure into daily life. Well, we are back talking 431 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:12,440 Speaker 1: about ways to put a little bit more pleasure into 432 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,400 Speaker 1: daily life. We've gone through the morning, the workday, Well, 433 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,800 Speaker 1: that leaves us with the evening. Having some sort of 434 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:24,200 Speaker 1: intention for fun in the evening can make these hours 435 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,760 Speaker 1: seem more like they exist as opposed to just drifting 436 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:31,680 Speaker 1: from the end of work into bedtime. With whatever housework 437 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 1: and kids stuff needs to be done in there. You know, 438 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,520 Speaker 1: lots of people know I like to do my puzzles, 439 00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: so I try to always have one going. Or maybe 440 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,760 Speaker 1: it's a good book, Sarah, what have you been doing lately? 441 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,119 Speaker 2: Well, as you know, this is a perennial challenge for me, 442 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 2: I'm resisting the temptation to just say, well, it's going 443 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 2: to suck until your book comes out and then that 444 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,960 Speaker 2: will fix everything, because listeners may not know. But Laura 445 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,119 Speaker 2: has a book called Golden Hours coming out in like 446 00:21:57,119 --> 00:22:00,680 Speaker 2: what twenty twenty seven. Maybe yeah, I have to write 447 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,199 Speaker 2: it first, so I probably should not wait for that. No, 448 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,720 Speaker 2: I've actually been putting a lot of energy into this specifically, 449 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 2: and things have been better. I try to think of 450 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,760 Speaker 2: like one thing to do, even if it's just like 451 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,639 Speaker 2: I'm going to sit on the couch and read my 452 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:15,359 Speaker 2: summer reading book while my kids watch a show like 453 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 2: and savor that like relative Piece, or take a block 454 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,880 Speaker 2: long walk outside because you know, it's actually a nice 455 00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:25,760 Speaker 2: evening something like that. And the more I do think 456 00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,600 Speaker 2: about specific ways i'd like to use that time, the 457 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:29,400 Speaker 2: better things are. 458 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:29,760 Speaker 1: Ye. 459 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,440 Speaker 2: When I go to the defaults, that's when it falls apart. 460 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,080 Speaker 1: That's when it all falls apart. You know, are having 461 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:39,720 Speaker 1: some sort of enjoyable like beverage, and I'm not saying 462 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,439 Speaker 1: it has to be alcohol because they know that. You know, 463 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 1: I've decided to stop drinking any sort of alcohol during 464 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,200 Speaker 1: the week unless I'm like out to a special occasion 465 00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,159 Speaker 1: or something. But having something that's enjoyable to sip like 466 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 1: that could be some sort of mocktail. It could be 467 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,240 Speaker 1: like perier or you know, some sort of like that 468 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:02,200 Speaker 1: can make the evening feel little bit more festive as well. 469 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:06,960 Speaker 1: With that making kid time more pleasant, Yeah, I mean, 470 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: we don't want to be in a situation. Even if 471 00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,480 Speaker 1: you're in a really challenging stage of life, like with 472 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:15,199 Speaker 1: multiple small kids, it just feels so hard to be 473 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 1: counting the minutes until bedtime. So anything you can do 474 00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: to make kid time more pleasant. If you're shuttling kids 475 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: around to activities, you might think through pain points like 476 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 1: can you listen to cool stuff in the car? Can 477 00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 1: you walk or run near the soccer field? Is there 478 00:23:30,359 --> 00:23:32,720 Speaker 1: a bookstore next to your kids dance studio? Is there 479 00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:35,200 Speaker 1: something you can do? Can you call a friend while 480 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: you are sitting out in the car line outside the 481 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 1: musical theater class like what can you do to make 482 00:23:40,359 --> 00:23:43,720 Speaker 1: this time not so terrible? And if you are caring 483 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,840 Speaker 1: for little ones, feel free to steer them toward activities 484 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,879 Speaker 1: that you find more enjoyable in a way from ones 485 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 1: you like less like, for instance, if you've got some 486 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,199 Speaker 1: crafts already set up, they may not realize that they 487 00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,359 Speaker 1: should be asking for candy Land, which you do not 488 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,040 Speaker 1: wish to play books you enjoy, so you can hide 489 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 1: the monstrosities such as The Giving Tree, far far away 490 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: and never have to read that book again. 491 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 2: Wow, the Giving Tree, I don't think I remember that 492 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,919 Speaker 2: you had strong feelings about that one. That's like my 493 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,560 Speaker 2: Richard scary, like we're opposite on that Giving Tree does 494 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,159 Speaker 2: not bother me, And in fact, I think I may 495 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 2: have cried while reading it at least a few times. 496 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:24,439 Speaker 1: So it's like the Tree with no boundaries. It's true, 497 00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:29,200 Speaker 1: it's true, but it's sad therapy. So that they could 498 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:30,240 Speaker 1: set better boundaries. 499 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,119 Speaker 2: Well, I already discussed my current Babysitters Club streak with 500 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,640 Speaker 2: bedtime reading with Jenevieve, but it really has elevated bad time, 501 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,520 Speaker 2: like I am enjoying reading to her things that I 502 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,919 Speaker 2: read as a kid, So I'm going to be continuing 503 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,400 Speaker 2: to delve into those various genres. 504 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 1: Yes, and then finally, as we're ending off the day, 505 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:52,439 Speaker 1: if you happen to be living with someone that you 506 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,919 Speaker 1: are in a romantic partnership with, enjoying their company in 507 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,840 Speaker 1: the course of the evening could definitely add a little 508 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 1: bit of pleasure into a normal, everyday sort of life. 509 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,800 Speaker 1: And so we'll just leave it at that. 510 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 2: Yes, no reason that that special time has to be, 511 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 2: you know, limited to a certain certain night. 512 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,680 Speaker 1: That can be Saturday night only Tuesday can work as well, 513 00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,760 Speaker 1: all right, So those are ways to add a little 514 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: bit more pleasure into daily life. Related to this, we 515 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 1: have a question from a listener on ways to save 516 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:31,639 Speaker 1: money that don't feel too much like deprivation. So I know, 517 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 1: at various points in people's lives they need decide, you know, 518 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 1: we need to watch the finances a little bit more closely. 519 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,919 Speaker 1: But the problem is when it just feels like no 520 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,639 Speaker 1: fun whatsoever, people tend not to stick with it. So 521 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 1: looking for sustainable ways that might on the margins change 522 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 1: things a little. What did you have, Sarah, Yeah, I 523 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:55,240 Speaker 1: think cooking versus eating out, especially if you like want 524 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,240 Speaker 1: a certain type of food and you have kids that 525 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 1: are eating more to the point where like every restaurant 526 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,040 Speaker 1: visit turns into like a triple digit affair. 527 00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 2: Maybe not every, but many. I will say that, like 528 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,119 Speaker 2: that is one that pays a lot of dividends and 529 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,120 Speaker 2: you might actually end up with better food at home, 530 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,560 Speaker 2: and it doesn't necessarily take more time either, if you've 531 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:15,400 Speaker 2: done some of the planning of having stuff at home 532 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 2: that you want to make. 533 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, and with that, I mean in general, anything bought 534 00:26:20,119 --> 00:26:22,160 Speaker 1: at the grocery store is going to be cheaper than 535 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:25,960 Speaker 1: food bought out, and that includes like convenience stuff at 536 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 1: the grocery store. So if if you know, in order 537 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:31,600 Speaker 1: to have a dinner that's not take out, you decide 538 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: to get the rotisserie chicken and bag salad, like, it's 539 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,720 Speaker 1: still going to be cheaper than going to a restaurant. 540 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 1: But that said, I was fascinated to hear it because 541 00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:41,120 Speaker 1: we were having a discussion on this on our Best 542 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,679 Speaker 1: of Both Worlds Patreon community. Some grocery stores are actually 543 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:50,960 Speaker 1: significantly cheaper than others. So you found this, right, Sarah. 544 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've found that so in my area, like the 545 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:57,520 Speaker 2: chain grocery store basically as Publics and Trader Joe's, and 546 00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,800 Speaker 2: I've heard Aldi as well, is probably in my experience 547 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 2: about thirty percent less, which is a lot. I mean, 548 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 2: especially again when you're feeding a larger family that's hundreds 549 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 2: of dollars a month. That's not you know, Latte change. 550 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:14,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which I had not quite been aware of that. 551 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,240 Speaker 1: I mean, we sort of have our local grocery stores 552 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,200 Speaker 1: that we go to, and I've looked in their reasonably 553 00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 1: similar price, but I don't have a discount one right 554 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 1: by me, So that could definitely be an option for 555 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,159 Speaker 1: people like looking at all these Trader Joe's, especially if 556 00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,160 Speaker 1: you've been shopping at somewhere that's known for not being 557 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,399 Speaker 1: necessarily cheapest thing. A lot of people like whole foods 558 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:38,359 Speaker 1: for various things, and if you need certain foods because 559 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,920 Speaker 1: of dietary reasons, then that may be where you are. 560 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 1: But if that's not you, or at least it's not 561 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:48,400 Speaker 1: like your four teenage boys who are eating like an 562 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:53,720 Speaker 1: entire shopping cart worth of food every single day, you 563 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,400 Speaker 1: might be able to cut that down a bit by 564 00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,199 Speaker 1: shopping at a slightly cheaper place. I think you also 565 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:04,679 Speaker 1: want to make a list of kind of free mood boosters, 566 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:08,199 Speaker 1: because sometimes we wind up spending money just out of 567 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,679 Speaker 1: we're looking for something to do, like what are we 568 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,520 Speaker 1: doing this weekend? And the things we come up with 569 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,320 Speaker 1: off the top of our heads turn out to be 570 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:20,239 Speaker 1: pricier than things that aren't. And so just think of, like, well, 571 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 1: what could we do well? Here are the places we 572 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: like to go walk, these are the shows we like. 573 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:25,840 Speaker 1: We can get a hall of books from the library, 574 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:29,280 Speaker 1: play dates in certain places with friends. I mean, these 575 00:28:29,320 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: are all like having a potluck dinner, you know, these 576 00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:34,720 Speaker 1: are all sort of ways that could turn down the 577 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 1: entertainment a little bit. What else, Sarah, Well. 578 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 2: The library in general, and I'll even actually say you 579 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:45,160 Speaker 2: can combine those and I've heard we're in certain areas 580 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 2: you can actually rent passes to local attractions at the library, 581 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,200 Speaker 2: So you might even be able to do things that 582 00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 2: ordinarily would cost money for less. So just make sure 583 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:58,800 Speaker 2: you're not sleeping on those opportunities. And a subscription audit 584 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 2: is always a good idea. Probably the easiest way to 585 00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 2: do this is to go through your actual credit card 586 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,680 Speaker 2: statements or whatever it's being built. You can also look 587 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:07,800 Speaker 2: in your iCloud account if you have a bunch of 588 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 2: like Apple purchase subscriptions and just go one by one 589 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,520 Speaker 2: and be like if today I was making the decision 590 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,680 Speaker 2: to buy this or not, like am I using it? 591 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 2: Like would I want it? Because I think for some 592 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 2: of us it's like, oh, well I signed up for 593 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,480 Speaker 2: that and I still have it, so you know, it's 594 00:29:22,520 --> 00:29:26,080 Speaker 2: like inertia. But those kinds of recurring things can add 595 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,080 Speaker 2: up more significantly than you think. 596 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 1: Well, with that, I think you probably want to get 597 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: a sense. It's the same thing with time. And I 598 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 1: don't really like tracking spending, but if you are actively 599 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 1: trying to cut this down and manage it, then it 600 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 1: might be worth seeing because you might be surprised at 601 00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 1: some category that is bigger than you thought it was 602 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,600 Speaker 1: and that you don't care about, and then that might 603 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,240 Speaker 1: be worth trimming. But then you might see that something 604 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,640 Speaker 1: like maybe you're not spending a lot on food, and 605 00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: then all this advice about trimming grocery spending is actually 606 00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 1: not relevant to you at all, and so it's not 607 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,840 Speaker 1: worth pursuing that that you should look at something else instead. 608 00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 2: Yes, sorry, I should have led with that because I 609 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,520 Speaker 2: am a very dedicated wine app user. And maybe I 610 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 2: just took that for granted that this person already knew 611 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 2: the ins and outs of where their cash was going. 612 00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 2: But honestly, I do think that's probably the very first step. 613 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, please send us other ideas. If you have 614 00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:25,480 Speaker 1: ways that you found to trem spending in pursuit of 615 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,680 Speaker 1: a financial goal without feeling deprived, we'd love to hear 616 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,239 Speaker 1: about it. You can always reach out to both of us. 617 00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:31,880 Speaker 1: I mean, we can share some of those in a 618 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,040 Speaker 1: later episode. All right, So, Sarah Love of the Week. 619 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 1: We've had a lot of Love of the weeks already 620 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:40,440 Speaker 1: in this episode. Things that add pleasure into your daily life. 621 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:41,400 Speaker 1: But what else would you add? 622 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 2: I would say orchids. So we were gifted in orchid 623 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 2: for Mother's Day and it really elevates a space. And 624 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,800 Speaker 2: of all the flowers out there, they seem to last 625 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 2: and last and last. I feel like that is one 626 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,840 Speaker 2: little simple pleasure that I get to get up and 627 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,920 Speaker 2: as I'm making the coffee and worating breakfast, we have 628 00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:01,920 Speaker 2: lovely flowering orchid. Now, maybe they're a little climate specific, 629 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,280 Speaker 2: they might do better here, I'm not sure, but they 630 00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,840 Speaker 2: seem to just last for like months, well. 631 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 1: They're inside. I mean, you know you're inside is a 632 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 1: different I mean, it's probably a similar climate everywhere, you know, 633 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 1: most people like somewhere in the seventies and a certain 634 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,000 Speaker 1: humidity range. So apparently that's what the orchid does well in. 635 00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:24,000 Speaker 1: But yeah, no, we I love fresh flowers in general, 636 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 1: I almost never buy them, although that would be a nice, 637 00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:31,760 Speaker 1: relatively inexpensive way to add a pleasure into your daily life. 638 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 2: Especially from Trader Joe's especially. 639 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, it's like very cheap, so if you are 640 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 1: shopping there, that could be you know, use some of 641 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,000 Speaker 1: the money you are not paying for a higher grocery 642 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,080 Speaker 1: store to add a little bit of color to your 643 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 1: kitchen table. But right now, I mean, we have a 644 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,200 Speaker 1: lot of blooming flowers in the yard, and so we've 645 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 1: just been cutting those and putting them in a vase. 646 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: And so I had a lovely arrangement of roses on 647 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,720 Speaker 1: the counter for a while this week, and that that 648 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,000 Speaker 1: made me happy. But that was not my official love 649 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 1: of the week. Mine was listening to Hooven in the car. 650 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,760 Speaker 1: So if you do have to drive around a lot, 651 00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:07,160 Speaker 1: listening to things can add a little bit of pleasure 652 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 1: into your day. And I would say we love for 653 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,440 Speaker 1: you to listen to this podcast, but there's only one 654 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:13,400 Speaker 1: of them a week, and even if you listen to 655 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,360 Speaker 1: Best Laid Plans and listen to before breakfast, that still 656 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:18,680 Speaker 1: will probably not get you through all the time you 657 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:20,760 Speaker 1: are spending in transit in the course of a week. 658 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 1: So adding some good music is wonderful and elevating this 659 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 1: time a little bit versus just whatever happened to be 660 00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 1: coming up on whatever you're streaming or listening to in 661 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:37,040 Speaker 1: the radio can be nice. So I've been listening to 662 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:38,720 Speaker 1: all the works of Beth Hooven and it's been great. 663 00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,640 Speaker 2: This morning I listened to Matt Burnisher's new album, So yeah, 664 00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,520 Speaker 2: it tastes very but I like music too. 665 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 1: Music is awesome. All right, Well, this has been best 666 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 1: of both worlds. We've been talking about ways to add 667 00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,560 Speaker 1: a little bit more pleasure into your daily life. We 668 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: will be back next week with more on making work 669 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:54,880 Speaker 1: and life fit together. 670 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 671 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,400 Speaker 2: shoe box dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box 672 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,040 Speaker 2: on Instagram, and you. 673 00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:09,120 Speaker 1: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This 674 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:12,520 Speaker 1: has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join 675 00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,320 Speaker 1: us next time for more on making work and life 676 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:16,120 Speaker 1: work together.