1 00:00:10,119 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of 2 00:00:13,720 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy Podcast. My name is Kat and I 3 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 1: am the host and so glad you're here today. I'm 4 00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: super excited about the guest I have. In the conversation 5 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 1: that I have with our guest, I want to stay 6 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: up top before we get into anything, always remember that, yes, 7 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,800 Speaker 1: I am a therapist, totally for sure I am. This 8 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 1: podcast is not therapy. It is more so a springboard 9 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: for conversations that I hope you guys continue to have 10 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 1: with yourselves and others out into the real world. So 11 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: with that, let's talk about my guest today. Most of 12 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,480 Speaker 1: you guys will be familiar with who it is, even 13 00:00:48,479 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: if you don't know him, because he is somebody that 14 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,560 Speaker 1: is a part of my life and I've talked about 15 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,360 Speaker 1: him on the show before and he's been on the 16 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: show before. It is Derek Billups, who is the owner 17 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: of City Fit Sires rooted in Natural It's in other 18 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 1: cities as well. And then also he is my own 19 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,480 Speaker 1: trainer that you might have seen me working out with 20 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:12,479 Speaker 1: on Instagram. Derek is somebody who I have known for 21 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 1: six or seven years and we have both seen each 22 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,399 Speaker 1: other in different stages and walks of life as we 23 00:01:18,440 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: have been both developing not just us as people, but 24 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: our careers and kind of going out there and making 25 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: things happen. So he's somebody who's very special to me, 26 00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: and I appreciate him a lot, a lot, a lot. 27 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 1: He's also somebody who which you will see, we don't 28 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,840 Speaker 1: agree on everything, and that's one of the reasons I 29 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: love this conversation because rather than it being a conversation 30 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: where I just nod my head at him and he 31 00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:44,880 Speaker 1: just nods his head at me, we are both challenging 32 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:49,080 Speaker 1: each other and also um sharing our experiences in our 33 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:52,240 Speaker 1: knowledge with each other, not to necessarily, it might sound 34 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: like it, but not necessarily totally change their mind, but 35 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: to offer a different perspective. So one of the reasons 36 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: I really like him as a human as he's definitely 37 00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: not a yes man, although sometimes Derek, I want you 38 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 1: to be, but I want to say so we talk 39 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:09,639 Speaker 1: about some things, and Derek has a little bit of 40 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,399 Speaker 1: a different philosophy on some things that I have. We 41 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,400 Speaker 1: talked about fitness in this conversation, and I want to 42 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: say up top before you guys listen to it, just 43 00:02:17,560 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 1: so you know, we talked about fitness, and there is 44 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,840 Speaker 1: some stuff that might feel somewhat triggering about body image 45 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,840 Speaker 1: and weight and all of that. If you listen to 46 00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: the full conversation, it'll make more sense than rather than 47 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: stopping when you hear the first thing that you might 48 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:34,400 Speaker 1: not agree with or that might set sound off brand 49 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,280 Speaker 1: for me. One, I will say that Derek's brand and 50 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: my brand are allowed to be different. But two, I 51 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,440 Speaker 1: want to encourage you to listen to the full conversation 52 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:46,480 Speaker 1: because there's power and hearing the beginning of it and 53 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: then the transition where you can see us starting to 54 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: understand and be understood and hear different things throughout the dialogue. 55 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,600 Speaker 1: And I think that's where a lot of people get stuck. Right, 56 00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: So we have conversations. The first time we hear something 57 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 1: that doesn't fit, it's like I'm done, it's over, and 58 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 1: you move on or you turn it off, rather than 59 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: staying in it and sitting in it and seeing what 60 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,920 Speaker 1: really is behind that. So what was behind what Derek 61 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,200 Speaker 1: and I were talking about discussing is we really had 62 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: the same idea, but we were verbalizing it a little 63 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,680 Speaker 1: bit differently, and we needed to clarify our words. So 64 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,400 Speaker 1: I wanted to say that in the beginning and this 65 00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: conversation I knew was going to be this way. There's 66 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: not one thing that I was like, Derek, come talk 67 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 1: about this. There was like four things. So we're going 68 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,440 Speaker 1: to talk about positive mentality, we talk about relationships, we 69 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: talk about fitness, and then Derek asked me a really 70 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,760 Speaker 1: good question at the end that kind of ties all 71 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:40,040 Speaker 1: of it together. So, Derek, I love you. You are 72 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: a wonderful human. So grateful for you and grateful that 73 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,320 Speaker 1: you came in and spent some time with me to 74 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,040 Speaker 1: do this. And to everybody listening, I might not know 75 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: all of you all, but I also love you all too, 76 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,120 Speaker 1: because you are supportive and you want to be in 77 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 1: these conversations and I appreciate that. So I'm gonna stop 78 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,680 Speaker 1: rambling and I'm gonna let you hear my conversation with 79 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:05,520 Speaker 1: my good friend Derek. Okay, guys, we are back, and 80 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 1: I have Derek billups here for the second time. And 81 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,200 Speaker 1: actually I think it was like just a year ago 82 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 1: that you were here. Yeah, it was about a year ago. 83 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: How you doing, beautiful people, Derek Bill is here. She 84 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: finally decided to have me back of impatiently waiting. She's 85 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: grown so much throughout this process, So okay, keep going, 86 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: keep going patiently waiting, all right. So I brought it 87 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: back for a couple of things. This episode is gonna 88 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 1: be a little different because we're going to talk about 89 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: a bunch of things instead of just like one thing 90 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:36,120 Speaker 1: at a time. But my original thought was, because I 91 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: know you and how you work, how you operate in 92 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: your mindset, you aligned very well with something that I 93 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: talked about a lot. I don't know that I've done 94 00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,000 Speaker 1: an episode on my podcast on it, but I have 95 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: on my friend Amy's, so I'll link that one for 96 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: anybody because I go into more detail into it there. 97 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,160 Speaker 1: But it's something called p m A, which is positive 98 00:04:56,200 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: mental attitude. Simple, simple, simple. I'm about to teach you something. 99 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 1: So p m A is literally just the idea of 100 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:07,599 Speaker 1: like thinking positively will then propel you to get what 101 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,680 Speaker 1: you want. So if you think about like people who 102 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:15,760 Speaker 1: survived like crazy stuff like trauma wore the Holocaust, the 103 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,039 Speaker 1: people that um there's a book that Victor Frankel wrote 104 00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: called Man Search for Meaning. Great book. He did research 105 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,160 Speaker 1: around like the people who survived and how they survived, 106 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 1: and he found out that the people who survived the 107 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 1: Holocaust and got through that, which is like the worst 108 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:35,000 Speaker 1: torture you can think of, where people who found meaning 109 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: for what they were going through, and that helped propel 110 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:41,040 Speaker 1: them to have a positive attitude to get through that 111 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,880 Speaker 1: stuff rather than waking up every day and sitting in 112 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,200 Speaker 1: the suck of what it was. There's also a lot 113 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:49,400 Speaker 1: of research studies. There's a book called Spark. Have you 114 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: heard of that book? Um? I think there's several books 115 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 1: called Spark. What is this one? There's this book called Spark. 116 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,839 Speaker 1: I'll link that as well, and it talks about the 117 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 1: mindset people have with movement and exercise and working. Now, okay, 118 00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: so they will to be honest. I've only read part 119 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: of the book, but the part that I read was great, 120 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: and they talked about how they did all these studies 121 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 1: and this seems like very simple information. But to me, 122 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: it's not simple information because it means a lot. Basically 123 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: that these studies and they would give them these workouts, 124 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,280 Speaker 1: the same workouts, so I think one was like a 125 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,640 Speaker 1: strength based workout and one was like running. So in 126 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,679 Speaker 1: the strength based workouts, the ones who said positive things 127 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:28,360 Speaker 1: kind things to themselves during the workout actually rated the 128 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: workout easier than the people who said negative stuff like 129 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,160 Speaker 1: I can't do this, this is too hard, etcetera, etcetera. 130 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 1: And then people who ran, the people that said the 131 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: positive stuff, they when they had a guess how long 132 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 1: they ran, rated it shorter than the people who said 133 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,039 Speaker 1: the negative stuff. So that right there, it's like simple, 134 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 1: but that is proof that shows us that how we 135 00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: talk to ourselves not just influences what we're going to 136 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,840 Speaker 1: do in our life or how we're going to get 137 00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 1: through some trauma or get our goals, let's say when 138 00:06:59,279 --> 00:07:03,159 Speaker 1: it comes to work or relationships, but it also is 139 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: showing us that that literally changes the abilities that we 140 00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:10,280 Speaker 1: allow our bodies to have when we're working out, Which 141 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,720 Speaker 1: makes me think about you probably have said this more 142 00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: than once, but there was one day that we're working out, 143 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 1: I think I know what you're talking about the day 144 00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: when you were I said I can't do that, and 145 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:23,560 Speaker 1: you like yell. You didn't yell at me, but you 146 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: were like stern and scared me a little bit, and 147 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: you you were like, stop saying that. I'm sick of 148 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: hearing you say that you can't do things. Absolutely because 149 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,400 Speaker 1: what you say eventually comes true. What you what you 150 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: feed into your mind, whether it's programming on television, whether 151 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 1: certain music, whether it's certain people you allow in your 152 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: life that's talking to you constantly. So you've got to 153 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: be careful about the things that you allow. So even 154 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: when you say certain things, you consume that. So and 155 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: you're the most powerful force in your life. So if 156 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,880 Speaker 1: you don't believe it, nobody can believe it. So for me, 157 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: it's like just watching what you say, because that's the 158 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: first step. Because you tell yourself that, you tell yourself 159 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 1: you can. Your mind is very powerful when it controls 160 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 1: your body. So you tell you something you can, your 161 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: body is going to kind of adjust to it unless 162 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: it's just absolutely cannot. But until we know, for that point, 163 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 1: everything is I can, I can, I can so well. 164 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: And two things that you said are important. One, you're 165 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,880 Speaker 1: the most powerful force in your life. To me, that 166 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:24,120 Speaker 1: is again another simple concept that you might hear people 167 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,320 Speaker 1: say all the time, but it's literally true. We talked 168 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: about this with body image all the time. If somebody 169 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: tells somebody you look beautiful, you look beautiful, you look beautiful, 170 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:35,320 Speaker 1: where we have a hundred people telling them that it 171 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:37,520 Speaker 1: doesn't matter. It does not matter. I can have people 172 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:40,240 Speaker 1: lying down the street getting ready to tell you that 173 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 1: you look beautiful, and it's not gonna matter. It might 174 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 1: feel good in the moment, but then tomorrow you're gonna 175 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: need another line down the street because those people can't 176 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,200 Speaker 1: change your mind. You have to be the one that 177 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: does that. So I want to hear how you speak 178 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: to yourself, how you talk to clients and and motivate them, 179 00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,040 Speaker 1: and how you do that in your work, and and 180 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: I want to get into like, how does that mindset 181 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,199 Speaker 1: affect you in your life and has it always been 182 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:08,199 Speaker 1: that way? First and foremost, you set mindset. So before 183 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:11,360 Speaker 1: any goal, any action is accomplished, anything is accomplished in 184 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: the world, the mindset must first be on track. So 185 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: how do you get the mindset in a specific place. 186 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,720 Speaker 1: It's having that goal, So it's working backwards. So knowing, Okay, 187 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: here's my purpose, here's my mission. Without a mission, there's 188 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: kind of no reason to have like a mindset because 189 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,640 Speaker 1: you're not moving towards anything, you're not working towards anything. 190 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,320 Speaker 1: There's no you know what I mean, there's no end goal. 191 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 1: So for us, whether it's a month ago, a weekly 192 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: go a goal for that day. You have to have 193 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,560 Speaker 1: a clear goal, and then you allow yourself to practice 194 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: these different tools, whether it's you working out consistently, whether 195 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:46,560 Speaker 1: it's you waking up at a certain time, like getting 196 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: yourself these tools together to reach that goal. And then 197 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 1: that's really ultimately it's like how you set up your mindset. 198 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,840 Speaker 1: It's like, Okay, here's the goal, here are the things 199 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,120 Speaker 1: that I need to do. What mindset do I need 200 00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 1: to be in, and then you adjust that mindset for 201 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,439 Speaker 1: those goals. So if you're entrepreneur like me, or you're 202 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,199 Speaker 1: somebody working out, you know your goal is to maintain 203 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,360 Speaker 1: your health or to go compete in this paget essentially, 204 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: and you know you need to be disciplined, wake up 205 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:11,079 Speaker 1: early to do it. You know you need to work 206 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,319 Speaker 1: out seven days a week. Okay, so I need to now, 207 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:16,960 Speaker 1: And just my mindset for these specific goals and mindset 208 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: can shift throughout the different categories of your life. So 209 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,360 Speaker 1: you may have a workout mindset, then you may have 210 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,640 Speaker 1: a mindset where you're dealing with your family and dealing 211 00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,760 Speaker 1: with your your wife and children. That mindset may be 212 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,360 Speaker 1: a little different than when you're working out. Then you 213 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: have a mindset of work that's a little different than 214 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 1: your family mindset. So it's like you don't have to 215 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: have this one mindset. It's actually a little It gets 216 00:10:37,559 --> 00:10:39,880 Speaker 1: the shift. It gets the shift you kind of compartment 217 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: alize your mindset eventually. Let me ask you this though. 218 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: This just popped in my head. I talk a lot 219 00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:48,319 Speaker 1: about motivation with people. You hear a lot of times, 220 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: I'm not motivated to go to the gym. I'm not 221 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,520 Speaker 1: motivated to run. I'm not motivated to do that. Also 222 00:10:53,559 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: here all the time, I'm not motivated to make that 223 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 1: change in my life. I know what I need to do, 224 00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,839 Speaker 1: I just can't find a motivation to do it. And 225 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,360 Speaker 1: it's something that really like boils my blood because I 226 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,719 Speaker 1: feel very strongly that we don't need motivation to do things. Um, 227 00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:07,400 Speaker 1: we just need to figure out what's important to us. 228 00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: And once we figure out what's important to us, then 229 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 1: we can act upon that. But I think the general 230 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,719 Speaker 1: public thinks that like, I'm waiting for some kind of motivation. 231 00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: Here's the thing. I might not ever be motivated to 232 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: do something, but if it's something that's important to me, 233 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,079 Speaker 1: I need to find a way to do it. So 234 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 1: how do you work with that when people are just 235 00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 1: like I'm not motivated or even when you're not motivated. Yeah? Absolutely, 236 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:35,199 Speaker 1: um actually completely disagree with me. Yeah absolutely. I think 237 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: that motivation to achieve any type of goal or to 238 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: get things done is intricate, is key, is the almost 239 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 1: the number one key, and constantly reevaluating what that motivation 240 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: is because again that shifts from each what if you 241 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 1: don't have it, how do you build it? Exactly? So 242 00:11:52,559 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 1: you understanding, Okay, what is my goal? What is my purpose? 243 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: When you have a purpose, it's a little easier to 244 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 1: create the motivation because you know you're trying to get 245 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,560 Speaker 1: to this purpose. So if you're like, my purpose is 246 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: to gain five thousand dollars this month so that I 247 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,400 Speaker 1: can buy my parents this gift I wanted to buy 248 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 1: them for Christmas essentially, so that is the purpose, that's 249 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 1: the goal. So for that goal right there, it's like, Okay, 250 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: I'm alone, I'm motivated to reach that goal because I 251 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,720 Speaker 1: only have this certain amount of time. I know I 252 00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 1: need this amount of money. What do I need to 253 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,960 Speaker 1: do to um make this happen? Essentially, And you may 254 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: have a goal to live a healthier life and not 255 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:33,880 Speaker 1: have heart conditions and not have um different issues wrong 256 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,000 Speaker 1: with you when you get older. So you're like, I 257 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 1: don't want that to happen when I'm seventy, So therefore 258 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,679 Speaker 1: that should motivate you. That alone is the motivation through 259 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 1: our life. Everybody's looking for these like rainbows and red 260 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,360 Speaker 1: flags that like be motivation. Motivation is really the end 261 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: goal of the purpose. If you have a purpose and 262 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: a clear purpose and you're true about that purpose, that 263 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 1: alone will push you to make sure that that occurs. 264 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: So then what you're saying is shifting the white people 265 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: are thinking of motivation because people are thinking motivation is 266 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: this big like firecracker feeling inside of your body exactly 267 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 1: when really your motivation is your goal. So when you 268 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: say I don't have motivation, you're lying. Not your necessary lying, 269 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:19,319 Speaker 1: You're you're not clear about where you're going at the moment. Essentially, 270 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: because let's say you have this practice that you wanted 271 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,959 Speaker 1: to start. Howevery mirror you many years ago you wrote 272 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 1: these goals down. You said, I need to have it 273 00:13:26,920 --> 00:13:29,040 Speaker 1: done by this date. I need to have the lights 274 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,240 Speaker 1: on by this date. I need to hire somebody else 275 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 1: by this date so that alone, you may not have 276 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,360 Speaker 1: wanted to wake up some mornings, you may not have 277 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,000 Speaker 1: wanted to come in somewhere, and you may not wanted 278 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,679 Speaker 1: to sit down with people. Somebody is because you were 279 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,640 Speaker 1: going through things yourself. But you having these deadlines, these 280 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 1: goals that in purpose made you have a blueprint to 281 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:47,559 Speaker 1: go harder and go So that alone is motivation. So 282 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,720 Speaker 1: every week you may have a goal to make sure 283 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:54,839 Speaker 1: the house is clean, make sure the kids get new 284 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,440 Speaker 1: clothes that week, or something else, like the fact that 285 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:59,680 Speaker 1: you set that at the beginning of the week throughout 286 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:02,400 Speaker 1: the week, that's your motivation because you said, I'm going 287 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 1: to get this done. And then relying on your morals 288 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,440 Speaker 1: and values, like if you're somebody that morally you're like, 289 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:11,880 Speaker 1: I'm big on keeping my word, that's something I want 290 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 1: to work on. That's motivation by itself because those are 291 00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: part of the tools to make sure that whatever you're 292 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: doing you follow through with it. So that's a part 293 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: of the motivation aspect as well. So motivation is not 294 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,520 Speaker 1: this firecracker and these these like things are going to 295 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: shoot off in front of you. It's more of a 296 00:14:26,760 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 1: like a long play and you have to like kind 297 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: of shift the purpose, weekly, monthly, whatever it may be. 298 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 1: So unless makes me think about because I'm thinking of 299 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,760 Speaker 1: this as like the listener and the people who are 300 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:41,640 Speaker 1: struggling with that is we are confusing excitement with motivation. 301 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 1: The example I use all the time with this is 302 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 1: I'm never going to be like excited to like clean 303 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 1: my kitchen. I just don't enjoy doing that. I wish 304 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: I could have somebody else come to every day. I 305 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 1: can't do that, But I don't want to have a 306 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 1: disgusting house, and you don't want to have anxiety about it. 307 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 1: You don't want My goal is of feel calm and 308 00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: have a clean home that I can feel good exactly. 309 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 1: Motivation doesn't have to be positive. Motivation can be a 310 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 1: action to avoid negative feelings. You get what I'm saying. 311 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,960 Speaker 1: You know, but I'm not excited, so I'm not excited 312 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,080 Speaker 1: to do it, But I am motivated to do it, exactly, 313 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,800 Speaker 1: motivated because you know how you feel when you don't 314 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,200 Speaker 1: do it, so that feeling is worse than not doing it. 315 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: So the motivation doesn't have to be happy. The motivation 316 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,080 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be exciting. Motivation has to get you 317 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: to the end goal. Which is get the kids to 318 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,120 Speaker 1: clean and to make sure that I'm happy, which that 319 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: will make me happy. So happiness is the end goal, 320 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:41,480 Speaker 1: and everything in between the end goal, and in between 321 00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,800 Speaker 1: that you need things to keep you motivated, and that's 322 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:47,080 Speaker 1: literally the goal. So then what I think is important. 323 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 1: I know that this is something that you do writing 324 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,080 Speaker 1: down your goals, like writing them down, like if you're 325 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 1: struggling with I don't want motivation, I don't have a motivation. 326 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: We so just went on a tangent here because it's 327 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,960 Speaker 1: not what we're start talking about. Write your goals down 328 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 1: and put them somewhere where you can see. Because when 329 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: you start saying I don't have motivation, then your eyes 330 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: go to that and you're like, oh, I forgot that 331 00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:07,040 Speaker 1: this is what I want. I forgot that I want 332 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 1: this more than I want to lay on the couch 333 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: right now. I forgot that I want this more than 334 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,280 Speaker 1: I want to watch this TV show. I forgot that 335 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: I want this more than I want to avoid hard work. 336 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 1: Write them down. Then, Okay, we're gonna circle back. Let's 337 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,840 Speaker 1: just go into this because I'm very interested in this. 338 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: We just did last WEEKND episode on failure. If you 339 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: have not listened to it. This is your calling to 340 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: go do that because I think it's important. We talked 341 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 1: about how like failure really isn't a thing. I'm gonna 342 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 1: give you the cliffs notes. Failure isn't really isn't a thing, 343 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 1: because failure is something that sets you up for the 344 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,440 Speaker 1: next thing that's supposed to be your thing. So I 345 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:41,360 Speaker 1: want and that's all. Part of p m A is 346 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: having a positive mental attitude rather than thinking when something 347 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,800 Speaker 1: horrible or maybe not even horrible, just like not ideal happens, 348 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 1: that this is not a sign that I'm not good enough, 349 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: or that this isn't what I should be doing, or 350 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: I'm a made a snake or I'm worthless. Those things 351 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 1: are really signs that like hey, let's either go this 352 00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,840 Speaker 1: way or that way or turn completely around or try 353 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: again if you allow them. If you have that positive 354 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:08,200 Speaker 1: attitude around what failure is or isn't, instead of getting 355 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,240 Speaker 1: down on yourself, you can say, hey, what can I 356 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:12,879 Speaker 1: learn from this and how that's going to propel me forward. 357 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 1: So I would love love to hear because even though 358 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 1: you don't you to know p m A, that's how 359 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,520 Speaker 1: I know you to operate. Just so we're clear. I 360 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:26,760 Speaker 1: didn't know the created term pm A, but he's an 361 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:31,200 Speaker 1: educated man. But the the act of what it is 362 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,439 Speaker 1: is something that I practice regularly. So yeah, I think 363 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,560 Speaker 1: I should probably educated myself moral on the I'll send 364 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,479 Speaker 1: you a podcast you can listen to it. Wait, so 365 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: talk to us about what I want to know, Like 366 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,840 Speaker 1: how did you even develop this? Like did you come 367 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:49,080 Speaker 1: out of the womb as this person who's like, I'm 368 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:52,280 Speaker 1: positive and I'm going to like allow myself to learn 369 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:54,400 Speaker 1: from failure. Is that something that's been taught to you? 370 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,840 Speaker 1: Talk about how that came from. And then I want 371 00:17:56,920 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 1: to hear about how you've used some setbacks to push 372 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:05,439 Speaker 1: you forward. Absolutely. Um, I think that the mindset that 373 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:09,639 Speaker 1: I've cultivated over the years has been UM definitely due 374 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 1: to just trial and error, like recognizing through each chapter 375 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 1: in my life, like it'll be okay, like every chapter, 376 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:19,800 Speaker 1: whether it's middle school and I've had like um enormous 377 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:22,120 Speaker 1: speech problems, whether it was high school where I've had 378 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 1: some issues with um staying on the team and UM 379 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,680 Speaker 1: getting suspended things like that, in college where I didn't 380 00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 1: finish after college, and business where things don't go right. 381 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 1: Pandemic hits and you realize through each chad call those chapters. 382 00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 1: So like turning the page, like how did the chapter start? 383 00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 1: What was the middle? What did I do wrong? What 384 00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,000 Speaker 1: was what was? What happened? What was done to me? 385 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: Like how they I ended? What did I learn from it? 386 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:50,639 Speaker 1: Boom next chapter? So like realizing that life is basically 387 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,640 Speaker 1: like a book and you're like going through these different 388 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,639 Speaker 1: chapters where you're gonna learn from things, You're gonna have 389 00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,600 Speaker 1: things happen to you, people are gonna come in your 390 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: life that walk away to that value to your life, 391 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,119 Speaker 1: that at misery to your life, that whatever it may be, 392 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:04,400 Speaker 1: and you're the cause of a lot of things as well. 393 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:09,640 Speaker 1: So just realizing that every step, every year, every phase, 394 00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: I've been okay, and looking at other people's lives around 395 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,240 Speaker 1: me as well and recognizing that you can get through it. Well. 396 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: Have there ever been moments where you're like I'm not 397 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: going to be okay? Yeah, yeah, that's that's in the chapter. 398 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,199 Speaker 1: That may be the middle of the chapter, you know 399 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,879 Speaker 1: what I mean. And sometimes some chapters it was the 400 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,399 Speaker 1: end of the chapter and I just had to go 401 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,480 Speaker 1: start a whole new chapter and realize, you know what, 402 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,199 Speaker 1: like this isn't meant for me, but I feel like 403 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,760 Speaker 1: that a lot actually, But you also go back. That's 404 00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 1: why it's important to write things down and like different 405 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: accomplishments that you've done in your life, write things down 406 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,480 Speaker 1: on things that you've been able to fight through in 407 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: your life, and remind yourself what you've been through, and 408 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,360 Speaker 1: to keep family members and friends around you that's been 409 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 1: around that can also remind you, hey, you've been through this. 410 00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 1: Hey you're good. Hey, don't worry about it. Things happen, 411 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 1: or and to congratulation and to tell you when you're wrong. 412 00:19:56,640 --> 00:20:01,080 Speaker 1: So for me, it's recognizing that, like when I feel 413 00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,280 Speaker 1: like I can't get through it, I always know that 414 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,119 Speaker 1: it will be okay. Like that's just like you just 415 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,439 Speaker 1: gotta tell yourself that it may take longer than you 416 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,000 Speaker 1: wanted to, but they will. What you just said is 417 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,440 Speaker 1: so important. I'm going to say it again. We're gonna 418 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:17,120 Speaker 1: talk about it even when you think that you can't, 419 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,240 Speaker 1: Even when you think you can't get through it, just 420 00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,520 Speaker 1: judging by your life's history, you know that you will. 421 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,919 Speaker 1: That is one of the hardest concepts for people to 422 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 1: understand when they're in it. Yeah, because they don't know 423 00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:32,480 Speaker 1: the timing. The timing is the piece that people, especially 424 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,640 Speaker 1: people that need to control situations they don't. They want 425 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 1: to be able to control when when's again and when 426 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:40,520 Speaker 1: you when's it gonna get better? You gotta go through 427 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 1: it to grow through it. Remember that, say that again, 428 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 1: you gotta go through it so you can grow through. Essentially, 429 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:49,840 Speaker 1: let's use the example of relationships and breakups because this 430 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,800 Speaker 1: is one that comes up a lot. And on this 431 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,840 Speaker 1: couch that you're sitting on, I've been through a lot 432 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,919 Speaker 1: of breakups. What's up? I think depending on the relationship, 433 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:00,240 Speaker 1: a breakup can be one of the most pain full 434 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:03,480 Speaker 1: experiences because it's like a death, but the person is 435 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 1: most likely still alive. It's just hard when you're in 436 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 1: that it feels like nothing's ever going to get better. 437 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,639 Speaker 1: I'm never going to find somebody again. I wish I 438 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,680 Speaker 1: could go back and do this differently. This that all 439 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 1: of the things, Just so we're clear, that's not the 440 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 1: feeling for all breakups. That may be the feeling for 441 00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 1: certain breakups, but some breakups, and you know, some people 442 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 1: are happy after the breakup. If your heartbroken, let's if 443 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,879 Speaker 1: your heart broken after a breakup, that feeling can feel 444 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:38,240 Speaker 1: like that, that experience can feel like that. Now, when 445 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:41,080 Speaker 1: we look back on our lives, I know I have 446 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,760 Speaker 1: survived everyone and most people sit on this couch you 447 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 1: are struggling with that, or you at home. You've gotten 448 00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 1: through it, you know that you can get through it. 449 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,879 Speaker 1: But each time that it happens in the middle of it, 450 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,160 Speaker 1: it is so hard to understand that, Like, my life 451 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:59,000 Speaker 1: will be essentially better for this one day for sure, 452 00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: in those moments for you, if you've had them. It 453 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,040 Speaker 1: doesn't have to be with breakups, but in those moments 454 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:05,760 Speaker 1: when you're like, I don't think this is ever going 455 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,560 Speaker 1: to get better, but I know it will. At the 456 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 1: same time, what do you use to cope in those moments? 457 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 1: Because it's what you said, it's time one, it's time 458 00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,920 Speaker 1: for that to change. You just have to sit in it. 459 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,400 Speaker 1: In my head, you sit in it until it shifts. 460 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: But what helps you sit in it because you can't 461 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 1: change your feelings? Well, I handle it is how I 462 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:26,120 Speaker 1: handle it now. I'm maturing, growing as a man and 463 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,639 Speaker 1: like figuring things out. But I take it back to 464 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,520 Speaker 1: my basketball days, Like I play college ball, and when 465 00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 1: you're in the game, you don't always realize the mistakes 466 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,399 Speaker 1: that you're making. But you go and watch game tape 467 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 1: after the game, so you evaluate, Okay, this was a 468 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,320 Speaker 1: forty five minute game, This was a forty five minute 469 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 1: argument with my woman, This was a forty five minute 470 00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,719 Speaker 1: disagreement with my coworker. Let me go watch quote unquote 471 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,800 Speaker 1: game tape. Let me go evaluate what did I do? 472 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,239 Speaker 1: What did that person do? How can I grow from 473 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 1: this situation? Just like a game, how can I get 474 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,080 Speaker 1: better this next game? Because again, just like life, there's 475 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:00,639 Speaker 1: a game the next day, there's going to be a 476 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:04,200 Speaker 1: situation where I can be better or kind of give 477 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,960 Speaker 1: out that same like energy, so whatever it may be. 478 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,159 Speaker 1: So recognizing that and just knowing like it's just constant 479 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 1: evaluation of myself and that's how I kind of cope 480 00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 1: with it. It's just realizing that, Okay, this is what happened, 481 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 1: and it's like it may be from situation situation, day 482 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,879 Speaker 1: to day, week to week, however you want to do it. 483 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:23,000 Speaker 1: When your options are I can either this goes back 484 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,800 Speaker 1: to the very beginning of this conversation. I can either 485 00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,199 Speaker 1: sit in this, in the suck of it and just 486 00:23:27,320 --> 00:23:29,680 Speaker 1: focus on everything that I did wrong and get mad 487 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:34,240 Speaker 1: at myself and make this experience of grieving worse. Or 488 00:23:34,359 --> 00:23:36,960 Speaker 1: my other option is I can do the same thing. 489 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:40,639 Speaker 1: Shift is that we're going to shift my mindset and 490 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,679 Speaker 1: think about, Okay, I don't love these things that happened 491 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,800 Speaker 1: or that I did or this person did, or but 492 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,840 Speaker 1: I can at the same time use this to move 493 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: me into the next experience hoping that that will be better. 494 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 1: It doesn't change what happened, but it changes what you 495 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,320 Speaker 1: do with what happened, absolutely, which gives you a lot 496 00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:00,400 Speaker 1: of power. And I don't think people really how much 497 00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:03,680 Speaker 1: power they really do have in their life. But you're 498 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,320 Speaker 1: the way you think the most powerful thing I think 499 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,119 Speaker 1: you have. And again, I think the evaluation, that's just 500 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:13,120 Speaker 1: the step. One is evaluating, and then it's looking at 501 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,800 Speaker 1: the things that you evaluated and then trying to make 502 00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,960 Speaker 1: real change. Is this something that I cause? Is this 503 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 1: something that this person causes? Is something that we both 504 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,920 Speaker 1: need to do. I need to what do I need 505 00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:27,080 Speaker 1: to work on myself? And how do I not hold 506 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,720 Speaker 1: specific grudges or I guess like hold hate in my 507 00:24:30,800 --> 00:24:33,359 Speaker 1: heart for this person so it doesn't carry on to 508 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,800 Speaker 1: the next situation. That's important for me it's like taking 509 00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:40,480 Speaker 1: time to evaluate so you can move freshly into another 510 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,679 Speaker 1: relationship without any like preconceived notions or anything that's going 511 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,040 Speaker 1: to hold you back from truly experience in the next relationship. 512 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: That's what relationships do. They kind of feel like they 513 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 1: chip away at you like an ice block, and by 514 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 1: the time you're at the relationship that you're really like 515 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,359 Speaker 1: that you're really ready for, it's kind of like you're 516 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,560 Speaker 1: down to some water. You thrivel down the water. It's like, damn, 517 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 1: like I promise I was this flowery creature. Now I'm like, 518 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:08,720 Speaker 1: oh my god, I don't trust none of you people. 519 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:12,399 Speaker 1: So it's like, that's why it's important to evaluate and 520 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,840 Speaker 1: recognize what you did that person did. But how do 521 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,879 Speaker 1: you do that? Though? How? Because I'm asking you in 522 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,679 Speaker 1: your life how I did that? So I was in 523 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,040 Speaker 1: a long relationship for about six years when I moved here, 524 00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,840 Speaker 1: and then from that relationship, I immediately I took another 525 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,960 Speaker 1: day off and moved directly into another relationship that was 526 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,359 Speaker 1: a year long with a young lady, and it was 527 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: it was the worst thing I've could have done, not 528 00:25:37,359 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 1: because either because that person was a bad person. Whatever 529 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 1: it gave me no time to evaluate. It gave me 530 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,640 Speaker 1: no time to realize what I what I did wrong, 531 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:48,639 Speaker 1: and things I want um figuring out myself more, figuring 532 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 1: out just like finding happiness again right into their well. 533 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:58,679 Speaker 1: I tried to leave some in storage, but yeah, I 534 00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,040 Speaker 1: brought a lot with me so for me, and it 535 00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,400 Speaker 1: was stuff that I that I was doing personally. There's 536 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,399 Speaker 1: also stuff that I had in my head that I 537 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:08,160 Speaker 1: didn't get a chance to to work out myself. So 538 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:12,399 Speaker 1: that relationship didn't work mainly because of that. So taking 539 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,440 Speaker 1: time to evaluate, not holding needs, grudging and taking things 540 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,240 Speaker 1: from the past relationship and trying to bring in this 541 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,080 Speaker 1: relationship and then taking time to to grow from what happened, 542 00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,880 Speaker 1: because each relationship you can grow from you just need 543 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:27,920 Speaker 1: to take time to remove the resentment, removed the hate, 544 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:31,680 Speaker 1: removed the blame, and just looking the mirror and say okay, 545 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 1: this what happened. Boom boom boom, and move them from 546 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,760 Speaker 1: and again. It sounds like easy black and white relationships 547 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: and breakups can be. They can last for ten years 548 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,639 Speaker 1: thinking about that person. But a lot of times when 549 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: people hear somebody talk about their experience, they think that 550 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,600 Speaker 1: sounds really easy for them. Why it's so hard for me. 551 00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,719 Speaker 1: That's why I said it can be very slow, this process. 552 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,439 Speaker 1: And again it depends on the relationship you're in. If 553 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,600 Speaker 1: you if you can be happy from a breakup, that's 554 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 1: not what we're saying. But in a in a space 555 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 1: where it is difficult, it's allowed to take time. And 556 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,200 Speaker 1: I think the one of the hardest things for people 557 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:06,399 Speaker 1: is the rush. It's not even that I want to 558 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,600 Speaker 1: rush into another relationship, it's I want to rush and 559 00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 1: not feel this anymore. I want to feel better. So 560 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go into another relationship because then I can 561 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,879 Speaker 1: focus on that and not focus on my heartbreak or 562 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:19,639 Speaker 1: what I did, or or reevaluate my behavior or what 563 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: kept me in an unhealthy relationship. I don't want to 564 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 1: deal with any of that because that is ikey and uncomfortable. 565 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,880 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna go find this other bright shiny object. 566 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 1: Do that. But you just took all that stuff with you, 567 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:38,199 Speaker 1: and then you're gonna be in the same space, all right. 568 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,560 Speaker 1: So we are going to switch gears because, like I said, 569 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 1: where there's multiple things that I want to talk about today, 570 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:46,159 Speaker 1: and so we're gonna switch and just talk more about 571 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:50,600 Speaker 1: fitness and movement and exercise in general. We've talked about 572 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 1: the like mental health benefits of movement on here before 573 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: I want to hear your perspective on why you think 574 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 1: people should move their bodies outside, because well you know this, 575 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 1: but outside of any esthetical reason that somebody might come 576 00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 1: to you for you, when you think about movement and 577 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,960 Speaker 1: exercise in your philosophy around that, why is it important? 578 00:28:13,119 --> 00:28:18,680 Speaker 1: So it's pretty simple. Movement is medicine potentially, So the 579 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,439 Speaker 1: going to the doctors, the going to the chiropractor, the 580 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:26,440 Speaker 1: going to the dentists, the whatever it may be. All 581 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 1: of those things are great, really targeting specific things if 582 00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 1: you have elements wrong with you, whatever it may be. 583 00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 1: But before all of that, before all of any of 584 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 1: that happens, moving your body, like getting out of bed, 585 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 1: whether it's walking, I what a personal training. I'm a 586 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,640 Speaker 1: personal trainer, So I like I help encourage people to 587 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:45,719 Speaker 1: get this movement as medicine if they feel like they 588 00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 1: can't do it in our own but recognizing like there's 589 00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 1: nothing that's going to make you feel better than having 590 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: your body active. Now, I understand there's people that are handicapped, 591 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 1: there's people that can't really get as active they want, 592 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,480 Speaker 1: maybe they're older, whatever that may be. So I was 593 00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,680 Speaker 1: a client named Sharon. She is somebody that I've been 594 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 1: training for almost three years now. Um, she's somebody that's 595 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:09,680 Speaker 1: been extremely sedentary. So she says the desk all the time. Um, 596 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,840 Speaker 1: she never has created any type of workout regimen for 597 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,960 Speaker 1: her life, but she understands she's getting older. Um, she's 598 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 1: had surgeries things like that which has caused her to 599 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 1: put on some weight. So our goal really is to 600 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:27,440 Speaker 1: maintain this consistent regiment. And she just constantly just talks 601 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:29,840 Speaker 1: to me about and she gave me a turn movement 602 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 1: in medicine. Like she's the one that always lets me 603 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:34,520 Speaker 1: know that even if like I'm not dropping these pounds, 604 00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: even if I'm not eating necessary the best right now, 605 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,040 Speaker 1: when we get up and we work out and we 606 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: just chat and we're walking, that is the like like 607 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: that gets me going, Like that helps me more than 608 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,800 Speaker 1: anything that does. So for me, I'm just like, movement 609 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 1: is medicine because somebody that really doesn't like the workout 610 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,640 Speaker 1: but lets me know, Like that's that's more powerful than 611 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,840 Speaker 1: anything we've done over three years. It's just getting her 612 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,920 Speaker 1: walk and getting her move in so which I love 613 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,880 Speaker 1: watching her on your Instagram. I think she's a light 614 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,320 Speaker 1: I do want to talk about this though, when it 615 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:10,000 Speaker 1: comes to my philosophy and movement in body image and 616 00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:11,400 Speaker 1: all that stuff that we do here and all the 617 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 1: stuff we talk about the podcast here. A lot of 618 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:17,320 Speaker 1: times people will go to a trainer or a dietitian 619 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,080 Speaker 1: or whoever and say, hey, I want to lose weight. 620 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: That's their goal. I want to lose weight. And they're 621 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 1: not always saying that in like a I want to 622 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:29,280 Speaker 1: lose weight so I can like my body better. They 623 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 1: say I want to lose weight so I can be healthy. Well, 624 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:34,840 Speaker 1: what I believe in what I know to be true, 625 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,840 Speaker 1: is that our weight doesn't it equal health. And so 626 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,360 Speaker 1: a lot of times people are coming to saying I 627 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,760 Speaker 1: want to lose weight, but really what they're asking you is, hey, 628 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 1: I want you to teach me how to create better 629 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 1: habits so I can be healthier in my life, which 630 00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,000 Speaker 1: is I think a really important distinction because what she's 631 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:56,040 Speaker 1: doing regardless if she gets to a certain like let's 632 00:30:56,040 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 1: talk about like the B n I scale, which is 633 00:30:57,720 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 1: like absolute shit, because if we want to talk about 634 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 1: the B in my scale, I'm obese, which is not true. 635 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 1: So a lot of times people look at that kind 636 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 1: of stuff, they're like, Oh, I need to lose weight 637 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,520 Speaker 1: so I can be healthy, versus I want to learn 638 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: how to have a healthy lifestyle. And that's what she's 639 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 1: doing with you, and I think that is incredible. And yeah, 640 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,720 Speaker 1: she's probably going her body is going to change, most 641 00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 1: likely because she's doing different things with her body, and 642 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,920 Speaker 1: that affects everything. Your physical health is also affecting your 643 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 1: mental health, which actually then in turn affects your physical health. 644 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 1: It's like a whole cycle. So everything inside of her 645 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,160 Speaker 1: is going to work better. She's gonna have she's gonna 646 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 1: be happier, she's gonna be more joyful, she's gonna more energy. 647 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: But it's not because she's losing weight. It's because you're 648 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 1: helping her create different habits in her life. I think 649 00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 1: you're absolutely right. I think she is somebody that not 650 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 1: only wants the habits, but she just wants to just 651 00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 1: feel better. Like that was one of the things that 652 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,480 Speaker 1: she said when we sat together. I remember three years ago, 653 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 1: I take away from every weather the different weight loss 654 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 1: she had. She mentions she wanted to achieve to feel better. Thing, 655 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:00,800 Speaker 1: which is it? And when she tells me, I just 656 00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,040 Speaker 1: feel better, it's like that's the goal that she set 657 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:06,080 Speaker 1: out and she's achieving that goal and weight loss is 658 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 1: just a part of it because she's moving. And that 659 00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 1: is I think such an important distinction right there. Her 660 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 1: she wanted to feel better. She feels better because of 661 00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 1: what she has done in the effort she has put 662 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:19,280 Speaker 1: into her life. And we're using her as an example. 663 00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 1: But like this goes for like a lot of people. 664 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:24,800 Speaker 1: She doesn't feel better because she lost twenty pounds. That 665 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,320 Speaker 1: doesn't equal that you can lose fifty pounds on the 666 00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 1: Keto diet and feel like ship and have a heart attack. 667 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,520 Speaker 1: And so if weight loss is the goal to feel better, 668 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 1: then that creates issues like that because another thing that 669 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:41,520 Speaker 1: we don't like here our diets, including the keyto diet, 670 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,320 Speaker 1: which is a heart disease promoting diet. Regardless, we're not 671 00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:46,360 Speaker 1: gonna get into that today. But if the goal is 672 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 1: weight loss, then you can I can restrict my food 673 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,640 Speaker 1: and take and then I can not have energy to 674 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 1: move my body. I can take food groups out of 675 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 1: my diet, which like we need them all um. I 676 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,040 Speaker 1: can be heavily eating on food group like in the 677 00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: Kyoto diet, and then I'm creating heart problems for me 678 00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:06,080 Speaker 1: down the line. And so I think that she feels 679 00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 1: better not because of her weight loss, because of the 680 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,120 Speaker 1: changes she's making her life, and that I think is 681 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,160 Speaker 1: really hard. I'm so glad we're talking about this. I 682 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,440 Speaker 1: think that's really hard for a lot of people to understand. 683 00:33:15,280 --> 00:33:18,560 Speaker 1: But I think this example displays that. Again, like we 684 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:23,600 Speaker 1: started in the beginning to purpose the mission having having 685 00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,680 Speaker 1: smaller goals over a grander macro purpose. So the macro 686 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,680 Speaker 1: purpose maybe to be healthier overall, but to do that, 687 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:33,040 Speaker 1: I want to lose some pounds. I want to, but 688 00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 1: it's mobility and it's why do you want to lose Okay, okay. 689 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:39,600 Speaker 1: I almost was like, we're going to cut this out, 690 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:42,160 Speaker 1: but we're not, because this is good. It's why do 691 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,400 Speaker 1: you want to lose weight? But not everybody that has 692 00:33:44,480 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 1: those goals, because there again there's like I'm looking at 693 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:48,640 Speaker 1: the Green Night, a lot of people are gonna listen 694 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,840 Speaker 1: to this because they follow me as well. So athletes, 695 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: like there's people are trained athletes wise where they have 696 00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 1: to gain thirty lose for you. So those maybe, but 697 00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 1: that's their job. That's different. We have to be clear 698 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:04,440 Speaker 1: because people are take you to be kind. But but okay, 699 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,920 Speaker 1: because I agree with you with the athletes stuff. I've 700 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,160 Speaker 1: talked about that before. If we compare what you're saying 701 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:13,200 Speaker 1: those specifically, if if a young man or a young woman, 702 00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 1: you're losing strictly like yo, I'm trying to just lose 703 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,680 Speaker 1: this weight so that I can feel better in society. 704 00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:23,480 Speaker 1: I can I can feel like better like I can't. 705 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:28,120 Speaker 1: If they're doing it for purposes outside of like their happiness, 706 00:34:28,680 --> 00:34:31,120 Speaker 1: then I don't think that it's worth it. But if 707 00:34:31,120 --> 00:34:32,880 Speaker 1: it's their happiness and somebody says I want to lose 708 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: forty pounds and it's strictly to make them feel happier, 709 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:38,160 Speaker 1: because maybe they remember the time when they were younger, 710 00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,959 Speaker 1: nostalgic feeling whenever, Like that's when I was able to move, 711 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 1: the energy was better, I could breathe better, like I 712 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:46,040 Speaker 1: want to lose his forty pounds, like, I can't blame 713 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,440 Speaker 1: that person. I may turn them away if I if 714 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,320 Speaker 1: I my gut feel like it's for a purpose outside 715 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,680 Speaker 1: of just like feeling, because I could feel a person now. 716 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: But I get what you're saying like there's it does 717 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,840 Speaker 1: lead to if I start like just taking your fo 718 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: us on a number, and then let's say I start 719 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:04,759 Speaker 1: working out with you, and my weight might drop a 720 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,120 Speaker 1: little bit, but then it goes up because I'm whatever 721 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,640 Speaker 1: it's happening, and I might be able to I might 722 00:35:09,719 --> 00:35:12,719 Speaker 1: feel better at a weight that I didn't think was 723 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:14,360 Speaker 1: going to feel better. Does that make sense when we 724 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,720 Speaker 1: get stuck on just the weight that is the issue. 725 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:21,560 Speaker 1: So let's talk about something that has probably come up 726 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,879 Speaker 1: with your people a lot, and I know has come 727 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,160 Speaker 1: up with my clients, and I know a lot of 728 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:28,839 Speaker 1: people just in the world are struggling with is through 729 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,720 Speaker 1: the pandemic. I think exercise and movement has been something 730 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,560 Speaker 1: that probably lacked for a lot of people for many reasons, 731 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,520 Speaker 1: one being whatever gym they went to was probably closed, 732 00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:41,880 Speaker 1: or maybe they just they themselves struggled with health or whatever, 733 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,480 Speaker 1: or anxiety and depression around the pandemic in general. And 734 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 1: now we're in this place where some areas of the 735 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,880 Speaker 1: world are opening back up and all of that, and 736 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 1: regardless if that's happening, people are struggling to get back 737 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,279 Speaker 1: into their quote unquote routine and a lot of The 738 00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,439 Speaker 1: reason I hear is because like I have to start 739 00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,399 Speaker 1: from zero again. It feels like I have to start 740 00:36:01,400 --> 00:36:05,480 Speaker 1: from zero, and it makes me think about specifically, like runners. 741 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: If you're running consistently, going out for a run isn't 742 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:10,239 Speaker 1: that big of a deal. It's like, Okay, I know 743 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,440 Speaker 1: I can do that. But when you have to rebuild 744 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:16,160 Speaker 1: that endurance, it takes patience and time and it's challenging. 745 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:20,080 Speaker 1: And so how do you for yourself, how do you 746 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:21,839 Speaker 1: move through that? Because I mean we all have those 747 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,240 Speaker 1: kinds of times, but how do you help encourage people 748 00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:27,399 Speaker 1: to get back into that that part of their life 749 00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,719 Speaker 1: because it is such an important part for our health 750 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,560 Speaker 1: when they are scared of that. It's actually like a 751 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,360 Speaker 1: new part of the business that we had to create 752 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 1: is like the post pandemic motivation, Like how to one 753 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: get people back out because a lot of people base 754 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:48,080 Speaker 1: their fitness routines off a community. So like them going 755 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,040 Speaker 1: to a Golden gym or F forty five or Orange 756 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,840 Speaker 1: Theory and them seeing the same people and them motivating 757 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 1: full right cycling, full right cycling exactly city fit class, 758 00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:01,640 Speaker 1: you know, just for it's like just making sure that 759 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:03,560 Speaker 1: like they had some type of community that pulled them in, 760 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,040 Speaker 1: that kept them going. So when you took people away, 761 00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,239 Speaker 1: they couldn't be around anybody but they're significant other they 762 00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:11,560 Speaker 1: couldn't work out with anybody. That literally just stopped, Like 763 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:13,319 Speaker 1: people just stopped because it was like I was going 764 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,200 Speaker 1: there for the social aspect, but it was also giving 765 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:19,319 Speaker 1: me healthy, so me coming back like now, it's re 766 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:24,000 Speaker 1: encouraging people to figure out what was it about that 767 00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,480 Speaker 1: fitness lifestyle or that wellness lifestyle that you loved and 768 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,760 Speaker 1: kind of refinding that but also mixing in some new loves, 769 00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,360 Speaker 1: like whatever it may be. So if you were going 770 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,920 Speaker 1: to Orange Theory before the pandemic and you didn't do 771 00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:40,480 Speaker 1: a lot of workouts previously, it's like, Okay, you loved 772 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,520 Speaker 1: the community aspect, You love the aspect where you had 773 00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:45,719 Speaker 1: to set time every single week to go, so it 774 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:47,440 Speaker 1: just helped you accountable. You didn't have to go watch 775 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,759 Speaker 1: a virtual video and try to get up on your own. 776 00:37:49,880 --> 00:37:55,279 Speaker 1: So it's it's reminding yourself of what what those reasons were, 777 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,319 Speaker 1: and that's part of it. And then also you may 778 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,799 Speaker 1: want to re establish maybe a new workout regime and 779 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,840 Speaker 1: something new, so just try and be curious. So I 780 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 1: encourage people, especially my clients, to be curious, like, yeah, 781 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:07,239 Speaker 1: I may want on one personal trainer, you may come 782 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,400 Speaker 1: to my boot camp, wet Ta yoga, you may come 783 00:38:09,440 --> 00:38:12,040 Speaker 1: to some of my yoga classes. But go try kayaking, 784 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,560 Speaker 1: Go try cycling, go for a hike with your friends, 785 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,799 Speaker 1: significant other, go to try a peloton one day, Like, 786 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:21,440 Speaker 1: just try different things, because just working out, just like 787 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:25,080 Speaker 1: going to a gym, is not the only escape through fitness, 788 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,440 Speaker 1: and a lot of people just when they are working out, 789 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: that's what they think about. Their mind goes to that. 790 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,239 Speaker 1: So maybe it's not what you love anymore, you know. 791 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:34,800 Speaker 1: So that's what I'll talk to my clients about, trying 792 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,480 Speaker 1: new things, being creative and then remembering back, like what 793 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,080 Speaker 1: helped you get to that point where you were working out? 794 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:44,160 Speaker 1: What excites you? So you're saying people are working out 795 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:46,920 Speaker 1: because of community, and I love that because that's an 796 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,759 Speaker 1: added benefit of movement. But if that's what excites you, 797 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:52,560 Speaker 1: so maybe it wasn't that class, and so maybe don't 798 00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:55,279 Speaker 1: torture yourself and make yourself go do a workout you 799 00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 1: don't like. If you are if you're looking for a community, 800 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,640 Speaker 1: you can find that in other ways and other spect or. 801 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,560 Speaker 1: Just think about what sounds exciting to you. If that 802 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:08,160 Speaker 1: thing doesn't sound exciting, what does kayaking? Okay, Well, that 803 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:10,920 Speaker 1: gets to be just as much as a workout is 804 00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:14,640 Speaker 1: going to a bootcamp classbsolutely exactly, And wellness can be 805 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:18,280 Speaker 1: chapters like when I was younger, I played basketball, football, soccer, 806 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:22,279 Speaker 1: tennis and everything. Now I play a little tennis, uh do, 807 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 1: yoga I do, and four years ago I was doing 808 00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,920 Speaker 1: cross fit and doing like bootcamp classes every week. So 809 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,279 Speaker 1: you don't have to keep the same regiment throughout your life. 810 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,719 Speaker 1: You can each chapter can be a new fun, yes, 811 00:39:35,880 --> 00:39:40,439 Speaker 1: exciting wellness. And you know there's freedom in that when 812 00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,839 Speaker 1: you let go of when you allow yourself to let 813 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,480 Speaker 1: go of the goal attached to working out as getting 814 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,399 Speaker 1: my body to look a certain way. You don't feel 815 00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:53,080 Speaker 1: as married to one kind of workout. But when you're 816 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 1: trying to get your body to feel a certain way, 817 00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:59,760 Speaker 1: which is happiness with this, you worrous you are looking 818 00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,600 Speaker 1: for those workouts since that's just a playoff what you said. 819 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,680 Speaker 1: You're absolutely right about getting your body to look a 820 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,160 Speaker 1: certain way. It's all about how are you feeling? You 821 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:09,840 Speaker 1: get what I'm saying, So It's like the look is 822 00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,480 Speaker 1: going to make you want to stay in the gym 823 00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,600 Speaker 1: all the time, like you hit this pump, get these 824 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,280 Speaker 1: squats done. The feel is like how am I feeling 825 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 1: this week? Or I feel like going to kayak, I 826 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,120 Speaker 1: feel like my feet needs to test to earth, I'm 827 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:22,360 Speaker 1: going for a hike. I feel like I need to 828 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,319 Speaker 1: slow down, let me try some yoga. So you're going 829 00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,520 Speaker 1: off the feeling instead of the way I'm looking. You 830 00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:30,279 Speaker 1: didn't like move based off of that's freedom, So that 831 00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,359 Speaker 1: is that is little freedom is what you're talking about. 832 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:35,879 Speaker 1: Because if I'm looking for that feeling and I say, oh, 833 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:37,719 Speaker 1: I want to go feel the earth, I want to 834 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,960 Speaker 1: go do um a yoga class in the park that 835 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:44,719 Speaker 1: is exciting to you, and you're going and doing that 836 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:47,040 Speaker 1: and being in your life versus I'm just going to 837 00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:49,239 Speaker 1: the gym because I going to this class because I 838 00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,960 Speaker 1: want to look this way. You feel like you have 839 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,200 Speaker 1: to do that, and I'm going to that because I 840 00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,160 Speaker 1: have to do that to get this and I think 841 00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,560 Speaker 1: this will make me happy. But then you get locked 842 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:03,000 Speaker 1: into thing that feels not like freedom, more like a jail. 843 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,239 Speaker 1: So when if I'm looking for a feeling, I get 844 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:08,799 Speaker 1: to go be excited about what I'm doing. Does that 845 00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:11,080 Speaker 1: make sense? I'm playing off of what you just said. Yeah, 846 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:14,000 Speaker 1: I think you're Actually you're right. So what we're saying is, 847 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,360 Speaker 1: if you are having trouble getting back into all of 848 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:20,120 Speaker 1: this stuff, maybe you were somebody let's just go with 849 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:22,279 Speaker 1: the running things. But maybe you you are running ten 850 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:24,680 Speaker 1: miles a day, which please don't do that every day, 851 00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:26,400 Speaker 1: but it's not good for you. Let's say that was 852 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,000 Speaker 1: really easy for you and you're just so scared to 853 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:30,440 Speaker 1: start running again because that's gonna be really hard and 854 00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,959 Speaker 1: you can't do that. Okay, Well, if that doesn't sound 855 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:36,080 Speaker 1: exciting to you, then what sounds exciting because you don't 856 00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 1: have to run? Just remember that movement is medicine. Movement 857 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:44,960 Speaker 1: comes in a million different forms. So you looking at 858 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,920 Speaker 1: me going for a walk, me playing some tennis, me 859 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,040 Speaker 1: walking my dog around the block, maybe taking an extra 860 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,959 Speaker 1: two blocks just so I can get some extraal moving 861 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 1: in like whatever you're feeling at day, and being proud 862 00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:58,719 Speaker 1: of yourself for those movements. Again, you can still set 863 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,759 Speaker 1: goals within this. So every week I want to do 864 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:04,720 Speaker 1: four different things, like whether it's going to play tennis 865 00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:06,960 Speaker 1: one day, whether it's gonna play golf with the buddies, 866 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,520 Speaker 1: whatever it may be, but making sure that you're still 867 00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:14,400 Speaker 1: there's still some type of um intention behind. It's not 868 00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,360 Speaker 1: just like floating. That's still important no matter like what 869 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,880 Speaker 1: you're deciding to do, you know. But and then the 870 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:23,400 Speaker 1: last thing I want to ask you because also a struggle. 871 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:25,960 Speaker 1: I want to hear your thoughts on this is talking 872 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,839 Speaker 1: about recovery days. I want you to tell us from 873 00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:32,000 Speaker 1: your perspective, That's the word I was looking for. From 874 00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:36,560 Speaker 1: your perspective. Why is a recovery day important? Because that's 875 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,200 Speaker 1: so hard for people to understand. I'm really big on 876 00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:41,719 Speaker 1: no days off, So when I say no days off, 877 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:46,360 Speaker 1: people think that that means no literally no days off me. 878 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:48,279 Speaker 1: And you can't. You have to work out and go 879 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,920 Speaker 1: every single day, not no days off. And it's paying 880 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:53,879 Speaker 1: attention that there is more than just physical wellness. There's 881 00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,560 Speaker 1: mental wellness. There is a time when you need to 882 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:59,680 Speaker 1: take time for your body to recover, for your mind 883 00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:03,000 Speaker 1: to cover. So let's just remove even the working out aspect. 884 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,200 Speaker 1: Let's just life. You're just going through life constantly day 885 00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 1: and day out, day out. You need to recover, you 886 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,360 Speaker 1: need to reach charge. You need to let your body 887 00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:12,680 Speaker 1: kind of heal so it could be at its great 888 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 1: at state when you're presenting yourself. So for you your job, 889 00:43:15,880 --> 00:43:17,759 Speaker 1: you're sitting in front of people and you have to 890 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:20,760 Speaker 1: give people your energy, you have to give people your thoughts, 891 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:24,279 Speaker 1: So you have to recharge consistently so that when you're 892 00:43:24,280 --> 00:43:27,799 Speaker 1: sitting in front of people, you're not operating at capacity 893 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,640 Speaker 1: when they need you at a hundred and five percent capacity. 894 00:43:30,840 --> 00:43:32,680 Speaker 1: So it's up to you to go take your lake trips, 895 00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,960 Speaker 1: It's up to you to go take trips with your girls. 896 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,000 Speaker 1: It's up to you to go maybe have a cocktail 897 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,600 Speaker 1: once in a while to just loosen up, or just 898 00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:42,080 Speaker 1: have a day where you at the crib, watching movies, relaxing, 899 00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,160 Speaker 1: doing whatever it may be, so that when you step 900 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:45,759 Speaker 1: in front of them, you're not drained. And that's the 901 00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,400 Speaker 1: same thing with working out your body. You need to 902 00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:52,920 Speaker 1: just recover, take time to really allow your body to 903 00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:55,160 Speaker 1: heal so that again you get to a state where 904 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:59,359 Speaker 1: you're able to go hundred five. So the recovery is key, 905 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:02,000 Speaker 1: and I take a lot of time to recover for myself. 906 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:07,319 Speaker 1: What happens when people don't sure their bodies. Let's look 907 00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,560 Speaker 1: at it like a car. When you don't allow your 908 00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:14,320 Speaker 1: car to sit, get maintenance, get worked on it, overheats, 909 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:17,160 Speaker 1: the transmission slips. Okay, it breaks down on you, just 910 00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,759 Speaker 1: like a body. So if you're not allowing yourself the 911 00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:24,640 Speaker 1: proper time to heal, to get the quote unquote, Um, 912 00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:29,040 Speaker 1: I say medicine because again, the relaxation, the recharging is 913 00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:30,799 Speaker 1: a form of medicine. If you don't get that, then 914 00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:35,720 Speaker 1: you're going to recharge, overheat, You're gonna flip. The movement 915 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,240 Speaker 1: being medicine then turned into like the movement being poison 916 00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,560 Speaker 1: to your body. Essentially that makes sense. If you're overdoing it, 917 00:44:41,640 --> 00:44:45,239 Speaker 1: then it's exactly absolutely not what I wouldn't say, the 918 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,640 Speaker 1: movement is poison to your body. Movement is medicine, But 919 00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:53,120 Speaker 1: movement at all times is not the medicine, like learning 920 00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:56,640 Speaker 1: to like just like balance the movement out. So I 921 00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:59,759 Speaker 1: wouldn't say it's poison. But what do you see what 922 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:03,120 Speaker 1: I'm saying? I can't even say yes? Why can't you 923 00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:06,200 Speaker 1: just say yes? That was a good point. Why you 924 00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:09,640 Speaker 1: have to argue with it? But if you overdo it, 925 00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:13,440 Speaker 1: then it becomes poison. Just like if you spinach is 926 00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,480 Speaker 1: good for you. But if you only eat spinach, then 927 00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,880 Speaker 1: you're gonna give your body too much iron, and then 928 00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:21,680 Speaker 1: you're gonna have poison in your body. That is absolutely right. 929 00:45:21,880 --> 00:45:25,320 Speaker 1: When you overwork, your body's definitely poisonous. So, okay, I 930 00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,000 Speaker 1: got a question for you. So, I know you like 931 00:45:27,040 --> 00:45:29,600 Speaker 1: to focus on the spiritual, the physical, and the mental 932 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,719 Speaker 1: areas of wellness, Like, do all of those areas need 933 00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:34,839 Speaker 1: to be have like an equal balance that we need 934 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:36,920 Speaker 1: to focus on them all equally or they able to 935 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,600 Speaker 1: one is able to lack any other one is kind 936 00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:41,880 Speaker 1: of more more of a focus for us. How do 937 00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:44,200 Speaker 1: you feel about that? That is actually a good question too. 938 00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,319 Speaker 1: So I think that it would be great, It would 939 00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,880 Speaker 1: be awesome and ideal if they could all be equally 940 00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:57,000 Speaker 1: set all the time at ideal ranges or levels. Realistically, 941 00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:00,279 Speaker 1: that's not always possible, right, So there are some days 942 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,000 Speaker 1: where like I might be feeling more down and my 943 00:46:02,040 --> 00:46:04,640 Speaker 1: mental health is kind of like ick, or some days 944 00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,279 Speaker 1: that like I might be struggle with my relationship with 945 00:46:07,480 --> 00:46:10,239 Speaker 1: God or whoever my higher power is. There are some 946 00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:15,040 Speaker 1: days that I am sick or I am taking a 947 00:46:15,120 --> 00:46:18,359 Speaker 1: break from movement or whatever. So They're going to have 948 00:46:18,560 --> 00:46:21,520 Speaker 1: different ebbs and flows in that, and so I think 949 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,920 Speaker 1: the goal would be to have them optimally equal. The 950 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:27,200 Speaker 1: reality is a lot of times are not, and that's 951 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,800 Speaker 1: why we have to work at all of them, because 952 00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,480 Speaker 1: sometimes when one thing is lacking, another thing can help 953 00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:37,160 Speaker 1: pull me up. My bias is I think that our 954 00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,640 Speaker 1: culture in our world likes to put emphasis on just 955 00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:44,880 Speaker 1: one and I see more being put on physical health, 956 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:48,640 Speaker 1: see more emphasis in certain areas put on spiritual health. 957 00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:51,800 Speaker 1: God will heal you, God will do this. Pray that's okay, 958 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,560 Speaker 1: Pray and then also use the resources that God has 959 00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:57,880 Speaker 1: given you and go work on whatever it is you 960 00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,760 Speaker 1: need to work on. The thing with physical and mental 961 00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,560 Speaker 1: health that I think is really interesting that a lot 962 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,319 Speaker 1: of people don't know, a lot of people do know 963 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:09,520 Speaker 1: a lot of people don't know, is that our brains 964 00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:13,400 Speaker 1: and our nervous system and our organs are actually all connected. 965 00:47:14,280 --> 00:47:18,319 Speaker 1: They are connected by a nerve called the vagus nerve, 966 00:47:18,360 --> 00:47:21,240 Speaker 1: and it runs from your brain down into your organs 967 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:24,839 Speaker 1: and it connects it all together. So when I'm really 968 00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:27,279 Speaker 1: activated and my nervous system is activated, and I'm in 969 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,960 Speaker 1: either a shutdown place or an overactive place, my body 970 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,479 Speaker 1: feels that. Right, So when I'm in a calm place, 971 00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:37,360 Speaker 1: my body feels that. And so I would love to 972 00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,480 Speaker 1: be able to separate it and say, your mental health 973 00:47:39,520 --> 00:47:41,040 Speaker 1: is only your mental health, and physical health is on 974 00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:45,680 Speaker 1: your physical health connected. It's it's literally connected inside of 975 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:49,720 Speaker 1: your body. And so with that, if I'm just paying 976 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:52,880 Speaker 1: attention to my mental health and I'm just most people 977 00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,160 Speaker 1: don't do that. So if I'm just paying attention to 978 00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:57,640 Speaker 1: my physical health, and i am going to the gym 979 00:47:57,640 --> 00:47:59,239 Speaker 1: and I'm going to the doctor and I'm taking these 980 00:47:59,239 --> 00:48:01,440 Speaker 1: medications and I'm doing this, and I'm blah blah blah 981 00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:03,160 Speaker 1: blah bah bah, and I'm like, I'm a healthy person, 982 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 1: but I'm depressed. You have a higher chance of a 983 00:48:07,080 --> 00:48:09,480 Speaker 1: lot of different to do this of getting them, and 984 00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,279 Speaker 1: you have a lower chance of healing. Your immunity is 985 00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,800 Speaker 1: going to be lower. It's wild to me. Does that 986 00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,520 Speaker 1: answer your question? Does answer my question? For sure? You 987 00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,520 Speaker 1: gave us a ton of information there, No, I think 988 00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:23,480 Speaker 1: that's amazing something you want to argue anything anything. I 989 00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:25,239 Speaker 1: think you're absolutely right. You're an expert in that. And 990 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:26,799 Speaker 1: for me, that was a real question I have. I 991 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,640 Speaker 1: was like, which areas should focus more on like But 992 00:48:29,960 --> 00:48:33,120 Speaker 1: for me, I guess it's trying to just do your 993 00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:35,560 Speaker 1: best and focus in on all of them and realizing 994 00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,359 Speaker 1: that they're all connected, so you can't not you can't 995 00:48:38,400 --> 00:48:41,120 Speaker 1: leave one out. You gotta gotta make sure that you're 996 00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:44,319 Speaker 1: conscious of all. Yes, And you know, I think that 997 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:46,000 Speaker 1: I want to add this because I think this is 998 00:48:46,040 --> 00:48:49,040 Speaker 1: a cool even way to round this out. Do you 999 00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: know who Berne Brown is? Absolutely? Okay? So she talked 1000 00:48:52,120 --> 00:48:55,320 Speaker 1: in a podcast episode. I think it was with Tim Ferris, 1001 00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:58,040 Speaker 1: I love Tim. I think it was on his and 1002 00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:00,080 Speaker 1: she was talking about her relationship with her husband and 1003 00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,279 Speaker 1: how they balance each other because a lot of people 1004 00:49:02,280 --> 00:49:05,359 Speaker 1: think in relationships it should be the reality is with 1005 00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,560 Speaker 1: that as well with what I just said, Yeah, that 1006 00:49:07,560 --> 00:49:10,680 Speaker 1: would be awesome, it's not reality. And so how they 1007 00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:12,960 Speaker 1: balance all of their things is they'll check in and 1008 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:15,680 Speaker 1: if their relationship is a hundred percent, like there's a 1009 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:19,160 Speaker 1: pie and they need a hundred percent to go do 1010 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,040 Speaker 1: the things they want to do and have the relationship 1011 00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,080 Speaker 1: they have in the family, they will check in with 1012 00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:25,319 Speaker 1: each other and say how much of the pie do 1013 00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:26,600 Speaker 1: you have? I don't know if she used with the 1014 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:29,600 Speaker 1: turn pie or what are you at? So maybe one 1015 00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:31,400 Speaker 1: day after work where you at I had a really 1016 00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,960 Speaker 1: hard day at work. I have to give right now, 1017 00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:37,120 Speaker 1: and he's like, don't worry, I got you. I'm gonna 1018 00:49:37,200 --> 00:49:39,680 Speaker 1: I'm gonna fill in the gap. I'm I'm at like ninety, 1019 00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:43,040 Speaker 1: so we're good. Or maybe she's like I'm at fifty 1020 00:49:43,080 --> 00:49:46,200 Speaker 1: five and he's like, well, I'm at thirty and she's like, well, okay, 1021 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,000 Speaker 1: then we need to figure out where we need to 1022 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:49,799 Speaker 1: fill in the gap. Maybe we need to let go 1023 00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,759 Speaker 1: of something, Maybe we need to not go to this commitment. 1024 00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,120 Speaker 1: Maybe we need to take a time out and recharge 1025 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:57,719 Speaker 1: so we can build some energy back. And it really 1026 00:49:57,719 --> 00:49:59,879 Speaker 1: helps with a lot of I think conflict in relation 1027 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,840 Speaker 1: and ships. But if we apply that to the areas 1028 00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:06,640 Speaker 1: of our health, all the areas of our health spiritual, mental, physical, 1029 00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,440 Speaker 1: and we check in with ourselves and I'm kind of 1030 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:12,239 Speaker 1: what I was saying earlier, maybe I'm really struggling spiritually 1031 00:50:12,600 --> 00:50:15,440 Speaker 1: and I'm really having a hard time um with my 1032 00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:19,440 Speaker 1: relationship with my higher power. Because that can feel really hard, 1033 00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:22,319 Speaker 1: like that can feel really like ikey, and it can 1034 00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:25,000 Speaker 1: kind of shape the way you're viewing the world. Okay, 1035 00:50:25,120 --> 00:50:29,160 Speaker 1: so my spiritual health is at like okay, well, then 1036 00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:31,120 Speaker 1: what can I do? What can I take from my 1037 00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,680 Speaker 1: mental and physical pools to kind of help fill in 1038 00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:37,399 Speaker 1: that gap? Maybe I do need to go feel the earth, 1039 00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:40,239 Speaker 1: go for a walk. I feel really good in my 1040 00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:43,080 Speaker 1: body today, so let's go for a walk. Or let's 1041 00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:46,160 Speaker 1: go walk in the backyard barefoot and feel the ground 1042 00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:49,080 Speaker 1: and see if that connects me anymore to that. Let's 1043 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:53,040 Speaker 1: say I'm having just a really like I'm in like 1044 00:50:53,080 --> 00:50:55,040 Speaker 1: a low place in my life, and I feel depressed. 1045 00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,000 Speaker 1: So my mental health is at like it's tanking, it's 1046 00:50:58,040 --> 00:51:01,760 Speaker 1: got like five PC. But I again, and I feel 1047 00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:03,960 Speaker 1: great in my body. I feel like I could go 1048 00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,040 Speaker 1: run a marathon if I wanted to. Okay, Well, what 1049 00:51:07,040 --> 00:51:11,000 Speaker 1: do we know about working out is it helps create 1050 00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,960 Speaker 1: and produce certain um Ner transmitters in our brains that 1051 00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:19,879 Speaker 1: actually make us feel better. So walking and running and 1052 00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:24,200 Speaker 1: moving is just as helpful as medication. And this I'm 1053 00:51:24,200 --> 00:51:26,799 Speaker 1: not making this up. This is research that movement can 1054 00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,920 Speaker 1: be just as powerful as medication when it comes to 1055 00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:32,400 Speaker 1: depression and treatment of depression without the side effects of medication. 1056 00:51:32,719 --> 00:51:34,560 Speaker 1: It just it's harder to do it. But if I'm 1057 00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:37,879 Speaker 1: feeling really good at my body, okay, go outside and 1058 00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:41,160 Speaker 1: produce some endorphins and create some serotonin and some and 1059 00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:44,080 Speaker 1: some dopamine in your body, and that's gonna change the 1060 00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:47,160 Speaker 1: way you feel mentally. Might not do it like that, 1061 00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,400 Speaker 1: but it's going to help that and your physical health 1062 00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,600 Speaker 1: and your your your movement practice. And that's why I 1063 00:51:53,640 --> 00:51:56,480 Speaker 1: preach this to so many clients. I don't care if 1064 00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:59,840 Speaker 1: you're walking, I don't care if that's your movement. That 1065 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,280 Speaker 1: is not gonna be my movement every day because I 1066 00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,680 Speaker 1: like a lot of different things. If that's what you like, 1067 00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:08,399 Speaker 1: it doesn't matter, because what that is doing is it's 1068 00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:12,319 Speaker 1: creating a pattern in your brain and a routine in 1069 00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:16,759 Speaker 1: your brain that produces certain transmitters in your brain that 1070 00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:21,759 Speaker 1: elevate and help your mental state. Our mental state then 1071 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:25,239 Speaker 1: from that nerve and our brain goes into our body. 1072 00:52:25,320 --> 00:52:28,840 Speaker 1: So it's all connected, the biggest nerve. So that's a 1073 00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:32,240 Speaker 1: long way to answer whatever, But thank you for asking 1074 00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,239 Speaker 1: that question. Nobody asked me questions on here. I just 1075 00:52:34,280 --> 00:52:36,759 Speaker 1: asked them to myself. Hey, sometimes you gotta switch it 1076 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:39,600 Speaker 1: up a little bit, Okay, So I think that is 1077 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:41,800 Speaker 1: gonna round this out. I'm gonna leave you guys with 1078 00:52:41,920 --> 00:52:44,640 Speaker 1: one last thing. UM, something that when I go sometimes 1079 00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:48,400 Speaker 1: speak at universities, the young entrepreneur students or even what 1080 00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,920 Speaker 1: I'm dealing with my clients. UM, I'll bring something with 1081 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:55,920 Speaker 1: me called Rise. It's resilience, integrity, sacrifice, and energy. So 1082 00:52:56,160 --> 00:53:00,480 Speaker 1: resilience is just knowing that things come along, You're going 1083 00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:02,879 Speaker 1: to get through it. You're going to rise through any 1084 00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:06,080 Speaker 1: situation that occurs. The integrity is looking yourself in the 1085 00:53:06,120 --> 00:53:08,719 Speaker 1: mirror and recognize and being honest with yourself and being like, 1086 00:53:08,800 --> 00:53:11,040 Speaker 1: am I doing everything that I'm canning? Am I doing 1087 00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:14,359 Speaker 1: the work whether it's mentally, physically, emotional, whatever I need 1088 00:53:14,400 --> 00:53:16,520 Speaker 1: to do to make sure that I'm prepared to keep 1089 00:53:16,520 --> 00:53:20,520 Speaker 1: on going. The sacrifice is really what am I willing 1090 00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:23,200 Speaker 1: to sacrifice? Whether it's going out all the time, whether 1091 00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:27,960 Speaker 1: it's trying to like leave a certain job that you 1092 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:29,880 Speaker 1: don't want for happiness, whatever, What are you willing to 1093 00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,120 Speaker 1: sacrifice so that you can rise? And the last thing 1094 00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:34,799 Speaker 1: is energy. It's like where do you find energy from? 1095 00:53:34,800 --> 00:53:37,800 Speaker 1: Because that's the most important thing to help you move forward. 1096 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:39,920 Speaker 1: You need energy to keep going. So if you need 1097 00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:42,040 Speaker 1: to recharge if you need to be around certain people 1098 00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,359 Speaker 1: that spark you, that give you like positive lights, if 1099 00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,760 Speaker 1: you need to move to a certain place around water 1100 00:53:47,880 --> 00:53:50,360 Speaker 1: so you're feeling more, whatever it may be, find what 1101 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:55,440 Speaker 1: gives you energy rise, Let's get it. Will you shout 1102 00:53:55,480 --> 00:54:00,120 Speaker 1: out your info? So where can people find? You can 1103 00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,520 Speaker 1: find me at body Bob billops is b O d 1104 00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,480 Speaker 1: y B y b I L L ups. It's my 1105 00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:08,279 Speaker 1: Instagram and then they can also find me at at 1106 00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:12,680 Speaker 1: city Fit Concierge, decitate my company and city fit Concerts 1107 00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,680 Speaker 1: dot com. And are you still doing virtual stuff? Yeah, 1108 00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:17,200 Speaker 1: we are doing some virtual stuff. So you can go 1109 00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:19,080 Speaker 1: to city fit Concerts dot com and you can check 1110 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:22,719 Speaker 1: out our live classes and if you're in Nashville or 1111 00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,480 Speaker 1: even if you're in Atlanta, Miami, hit me up. We're 1112 00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:29,560 Speaker 1: gonna figure it out. Okay, great, Well, thank you and 1113 00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:33,279 Speaker 1: appreciate you. Well, I appreciate you. I will talk to 1114 00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:36,520 Speaker 1: you guys on Wednesday. Please listen to the episode because 1115 00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:39,440 Speaker 1: it is a very important, special one like all of them, 1116 00:54:39,440 --> 00:54:42,319 Speaker 1: but it's extra special. So I'll talk to you guys Wednesday. 1117 00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:44,920 Speaker 1: If you have any questions for Derek about any of 1118 00:54:44,920 --> 00:54:48,080 Speaker 1: this stuff, send them because we might put them on 1119 00:54:48,080 --> 00:54:51,200 Speaker 1: a Couch Talks episode and answer them. If not, just 1120 00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,400 Speaker 1: go follow them. A great day, beautiful people,