WEBVTT - Getting Real with Zach Windahl: Understanding the Bible 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:16.200 Carl Lene, she's a queen and talking and it was 0:00:16.320 --> 0:00:19.720 so she's getting really. 0:00:19.440 --> 0:00:22.640 Not afraid to fail its episode, So just let it flow. 0:00:23.120 --> 0:00:29.000 No one can do we quid Caryl lne is sounding. 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:34.120 Caroline, Well, I'm very excited to be here with Zach Kwindall. 0:00:34.479 --> 0:00:35.400 How's it going? 0:00:36.520 --> 0:00:39.280 Excellent? Thank you so much for having me. This is fun. 0:00:39.920 --> 0:00:42.080 You're always excellent excellent though, aren't you? 0:00:42.800 --> 0:00:46.320 Uh? I would say these days probably ninety percent of 0:00:46.360 --> 0:00:46.720 the time. 0:00:47.040 --> 0:00:47.879 Okay, why is that? 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:51.280 Yeah? I think a lot of it has to do 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:53.760 with the way that I was raised and just my 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:58.360 mindset on life and the fact that I'm here and 0:00:58.400 --> 0:01:00.959 there's a lot of good going on around me, and 0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:03.640 if I focus on the good, I think more good 0:01:03.720 --> 0:01:05.080 things are going to happen. 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:07.280 How were you raised? 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:11.240 So? My mom is a full time cancer survivor, and 0:01:11.360 --> 0:01:13.920 so when I was four years old, she was diagnosed 0:01:13.959 --> 0:01:16.200 with stage four ovarian and was sent home with a 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.680 five percent chance to live. And then she had a 0:01:18.720 --> 0:01:22.320 tombor around her satic nerve and was healed from that. 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:25.880 And then she had colon cancer with three quarters of 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:28.920 her colon removed and was healed from that. And then 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:31.880 when I was fifteen, she had breast cancer and double 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:34.840 messtectomy and reconstruction. The whole deal was healed from that. 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:38.880 So my entire childhood is seeing my mom in and 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:41.320 out of the hospital, never knowing if she's actually going 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:45.319 to make it. And she really always taught me, Zach, 0:01:45.640 --> 0:01:47.640 life could be so much worse. I could not be 0:01:47.720 --> 0:01:50.240 here today, but I am. So you need to learn 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:52.280 to treat every day like the gift that it is. 0:01:52.840 --> 0:01:55.840 And even when really bad things are happening around us, 0:01:56.200 --> 0:01:58.640 we still believe that God is moving and if you 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:02.560 find where that is and focus on that and try 0:02:02.600 --> 0:02:07.120 to be there, that it's going to take over the bad. 0:02:07.480 --> 0:02:10.480 Not to disregard the bad by any means, but to 0:02:10.840 --> 0:02:14.200 just have your hope and your mindset in the right place. 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:24.080 And so that's that impacted my entire mindset today and upbringing. 0:02:22.840 --> 0:02:26.320 Were you living in fear or were you able to 0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:28.679 join her in her mindset? Did you know she was 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:31.960 going to be And was each cancer? Was it was 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:34.400 one related to the other or were they just completely 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:35.480 separate cancers? 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:37.680 Completely separate cancers? 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:41.280 Is that for one person that four separate cancers? 0:02:41.720 --> 0:02:46.560 Great question. Yeah, we don't know either, but yeah, she 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:50.880 uh had, I mean every every few years, like she 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:53.800 would do colon or she would do chemo and radiation 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:55.840 and so her hair would fall out and then it 0:02:55.840 --> 0:02:59.160 would come back a different color, and so like that 0:02:59.360 --> 0:03:02.600 was just what I knew. And I don't think there 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.880 was a place of fear too much, but it was 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:09.960 more so just knowing that there was a hope and 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:13.920 just the positivity that she brought to it was so 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:18.840 impactful for me. Honestly, I don't remember everything by any means. 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:23.519 I think our bodies do something where when you experience 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:28.800 trauma or things like that, it blocks certain things out. 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:32.440 So I really only remember a lot of the good stuff. 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:35.360 Do you have siblings? 0:03:36.040 --> 0:03:39.000 Only child? I was supposed to have an older sister, 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:44.800 she didn't make it, and then miscarriage, well yeah, miscarriage, 0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:50.680 and then after me, my mom after her first cancer, 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.280 she couldn't have any more kids, so only me. 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:55.960 How was it being an only child? I have an 0:03:56.000 --> 0:03:59.640 only child who's five, and I've had a bunch of miscarriages, 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:01.600 and I like, I'm crying because it hits such a 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:04.800 nerve because I'm so worried that she's gonna like long 0:04:04.920 --> 0:04:07.600 for a sibling and especially like with what you were 0:04:07.640 --> 0:04:10.320 going through something so intense as an only child. Is 0:04:10.360 --> 0:04:12.280 it hard to be an only child or were you 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:16.000 able to appreciate it? And like being an only child? 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:17.000 What was your experience? 0:04:17.120 --> 0:04:20.839 Like? I loved it. I think it was the greatest 0:04:20.839 --> 0:04:23.960 thing ever. Because even though my mom was in the 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:26.159 hospital a lot and my dad traveled a lot, so 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:28.479 I didn't have anywhere to go a lot of the time. 0:04:28.520 --> 0:04:31.599 So I grew up with my neighbors a lot of 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:34.599 the time and then our family friends, and so I 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:38.320 basically had like seven sisters growing up, and that was 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:43.640 very transformative for who I became for sure. So even 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:45.880 though I didn't have somebody at home, I was always 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:49.760 with friends. And so for you like and and your 0:04:49.880 --> 0:04:52.800 kid is like, let them spend a lot of time 0:04:52.839 --> 0:04:55.279 with friends. That's that's their siblings. 0:04:55.560 --> 0:04:58.080 Yeah, What was it like growing up with so a 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:00.560 seven females, seven girls that you grew up with so 0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:03.320 you were you were the only boy? What was that like? 0:05:03.360 --> 0:05:05.200 Did they like do your hair and makeup? Did you 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:07.000 like about your first kiss? 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:07.160 Like? 0:05:07.200 --> 0:05:08.560 What was what. 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:12.400 Happened when you were seriously? I mean there was like 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:15.040 four four girls that lived down the street, they were 0:05:15.040 --> 0:05:18.680 all sisters, and then three sisters that were like my parents' 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:23.080 best friends their kids, and they didn't like do my 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:25.520 hair and makeup and stuff, but it was always just 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:28.880 like I think I think it brought out a side 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:35.040 where it's like more relational and understanding to women and 0:05:36.960 --> 0:05:40.640 just more like, I'm not like a dude's dude, if 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:41.360 that makes sense. 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:42.240 You're a girl guy. 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:46.760 I'm more of a girl's guy. So, like everybody when 0:05:46.760 --> 0:05:50.440 we just found out that we're pregnant with a boy, 0:05:51.040 --> 0:05:55.560 and okay, buddy, because everybody was like, oh, Zach's a 0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:59.520 girl dad through and through, and so we were set 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:00.800 that we were having a girl. 0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:05.200 I do like you were sure, yeah, of course it 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:06.480 makes sense. 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:07.239 Yeah. 0:06:07.360 --> 0:06:09.960 And then we did our our gender reveal and we 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:13.440 like poured out this paint and it was blue paint, 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:16.080 and my wife and I were like, oh my goodness, 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:20.120 this is not what we thought was going to happen 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:24.640 at all. And so we're we're prepped, We're we're getting ready. 0:06:26.440 --> 0:06:27.840 I don't know how it's going to go. It's gonna, 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:31.160 I mean, it's gonna be amazing, obviously, no matter what's 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:33.360 thrown at us, We're gonna have have fun with it. 0:06:33.600 --> 0:06:36.599 But I've just always been more of a girl dad. 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:41.880 I think, what does a guy's girl? What does that mean? 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:44.039 Because I know like a girl's girl, and I know 0:06:44.160 --> 0:06:47.559 like a girl's a boy, a girl guy, a guy's girl. 0:06:47.800 --> 0:06:51.640 What is it a guy girl, a girl guy? No? Wait, 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:54.360 how do we say this? What is a girl's guy 0:06:54.480 --> 0:06:55.080 a girl's guy? 0:06:55.200 --> 0:06:55.920 What does that mean? 0:06:56.120 --> 0:06:56.240 Like? 0:06:56.279 --> 0:06:58.360 What do you what is your personality? Like? Like, how 0:06:58.360 --> 0:07:00.480 do you interact in the world as a girl girls guy? 0:07:01.440 --> 0:07:03.800 That's a great question. I think a lot of it 0:07:03.839 --> 0:07:06.800 has to do with just being like relational and understanding 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:12.200 and and talking. I'm not but I'm I'm aware of 0:07:12.280 --> 0:07:15.480 sensitivity and I'm I think. I think the biggest thing 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:17.680 is I've learned to be a really good listener and 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:21.480 instead of always having an opinion on things, I allow 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:27.880 other people to talk and also not like super judgmental 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:31.120 in the sense of like you should do things this way, 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:34.360 but more so just open to like, Okay, that's that's 0:07:34.360 --> 0:07:38.160 where you're at in your stage of life. And I 0:07:38.160 --> 0:07:41.200 can give you the logical answer all day long, and 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:42.840 I can tell you what I think. But a lot 0:07:42.880 --> 0:07:46.640 of the times women don't need to hear that, and 0:07:46.800 --> 0:07:50.000 they they want to just be heard more, at least 0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:53.600 from my experience, and so it definitely taught me how 0:07:53.640 --> 0:07:56.680 to be a listener. And then even from like passions, 0:07:57.120 --> 0:08:01.240 like growing up, I would make like jewels and my 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:04.320 first business I was nine years old, and it was 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:08.200 making shark tooth necklaces on the beach in Naples, Florida. 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:11.560 And I would like I was an entrepreneur from from 0:08:11.600 --> 0:08:14.080 the jump, but I would it would always be like 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:19.600 jewelry or clothing or things like that. And I was 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:23.640 never like super into sports. And even today, all the 0:08:23.640 --> 0:08:26.560 guys I'm around can talk sports all day and I 0:08:26.680 --> 0:08:30.640 have no idea what anybody's ever talking about. But I'm like, hey, 0:08:30.760 --> 0:08:35.520 you know, you can use hemp and and make a 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:39.160 necklace like this. I can teach you how to glass blow, 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.079 but I can't teach you anything else. Like I can 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:44.680 play sports, but I just don't care to follow them. 0:08:45.280 --> 0:08:49.000 And yeah, I think that was a big factor in 0:08:49.160 --> 0:08:51.360 my childhood as well. I've never thought about it like that. 0:08:51.800 --> 0:08:53.600 So when you're hanging out with your wife and y'all 0:08:53.600 --> 0:08:56.280 are having like, you know, some friends over you're out 0:08:56.320 --> 0:08:58.000 with friends, are you in like you know, like sometimes 0:08:58.000 --> 0:08:59.880 it like segregates into like the boys hang out and 0:08:59.880 --> 0:09:01.480 the girls hang Now are you like chilling with the 0:09:01.520 --> 0:09:03.720 girls or are you like hanging with the guys. 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:09.800 I'm usually with the girls. Yeah, So we our passion 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:12.840 is hosting people. We love it more than anything else. 0:09:12.840 --> 0:09:15.719 It's our hobby. And it's cause I worked in the 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:17.760 hospitality industry for like twelve years. 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:18.760 What are you doing? 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:23.160 I was like managing restaurants and helping open restaurants and 0:09:23.920 --> 0:09:27.280 just being around people all the time. And so I 0:09:27.400 --> 0:09:30.439 love food and I love hosting people. And so we 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:33.520 have people over a few times a week, probably even 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:36.559 if it's just family, and I'm always just in the 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:39.080 kitchen cooking, and I just always want to make sure 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:42.080 everybody else comes to our place and feels a sense 0:09:42.120 --> 0:09:45.000 of like peace, and that they walk into our home 0:09:45.040 --> 0:09:47.440 and they're like, Wow, something's different about this place. And 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:50.880 every time I leave, I feel refreshed, and so I 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:54.880 want to be there. So even like from like we'll 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.960 we'll bake cookies. I'll put cookies in the oven before 0:09:58.000 --> 0:09:59.920 people even walk in the door a lot of the time, 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:03.480 so when they walk in, it smells like home, and 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:07.959 little things like that, just to provide people with a 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:09.359 place of refreshment. 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:12.079 I think, do you think you did that? Because did 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:13.640 you do that growing up and you wanted your mom 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:15.440 to feel comfortable and like feel happy? 0:10:16.600 --> 0:10:21.720 No. Actually I got that by from a guy named 0:10:21.720 --> 0:10:22.480 Bob Goff and. 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:24.800 His oh yeah area, yeah. 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:28.600 Yeah, yeah, so sweet Maria. I had heard did that, 0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:31.840 and I was like, oh, I'm taking that and doing 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:34.320 it with everybody that walks in our house. And so 0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.680 that's where that came from. But I don't know about 0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:40.400 at our home for sure. My dad hosted a lot 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:44.040 of people and loves cooking, and so we would have 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:48.839 people over in that regard, But I think my bosses 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:54.040 and my jobs from from probably eighteen to twenty eight 0:10:54.880 --> 0:10:59.280 had a major impact on who I am in regard 0:10:59.559 --> 0:11:00.880 of of hosting people. 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:04.320 So you said, when people come to your house, you 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:07.000 want them to have a different experience, to feel comfortable. 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:10.679 A lot of people aren't always thinking about others in 0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:14.120 that way. They're more thinking about what their needs are 0:11:14.320 --> 0:11:19.479 and what they want. Where did that is that from? Hospitality? 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:21.839 Is like, because you were in the service industry, you're 0:11:21.880 --> 0:11:24.000 thinking of how to get people to return to your restaurant. 0:11:24.040 --> 0:11:27.839 What people need anticipating their needs is that your heart 0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:30.240 to be thinking of others all the time? Like are 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:33.080 you a people pleaser? Where did that come? Where you 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:36.080 are like wanting to make sure everyone in your presence 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:40.440 is comfortable and happy and having its amazing experience. 0:11:41.120 --> 0:11:44.640 It definitely came from the service industry, from being in 0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:47.320 a place where it's like, it doesn't matter how I'm feeling, 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:51.920 I have to essentially perform at that At that stage, 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:55.360 it was it was a performance. Now it's it's different. 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.760 I think I've grown and found the positive side of 0:11:58.800 --> 0:12:00.640 it for sure, But in the mom and it's like 0:12:01.040 --> 0:12:03.360 it doesn't matter if you have the flu, you still 0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:05.840 need to work twelve hours today with a smile on 0:12:05.880 --> 0:12:08.720 your face and make sure that everybody else is taken 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:13.600 care of. And I was working in like pretty high 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:16.920 end stuff for a really long time where it's like, Okay, 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:20.040 their needs are the most important thing. From the moment 0:12:20.080 --> 0:12:22.120 that they walk in the door. They need to feel 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:26.160 like they're at home and that we're finding ways to 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:32.040 please them that they would never even even expected. And 0:12:32.960 --> 0:12:37.720 so that definitely transferred to me now where it's like, Okay, 0:12:38.080 --> 0:12:42.680 I see how these little touch points can make a 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:47.400 difference in somebody's experience and not to be liked at all, 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:51.480 but it's always to see other people enjoy them. So 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:55.880 if I'm by myself, I might make a tuna fish sandwich, 0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.760 but if my friends are coming over, I'm making like 0:12:59.000 --> 0:13:04.520 filet mignon and like French perade potatoes and like protrudo 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:08.000 rapt asparagus because i want them to have an experience. 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:11.080 That's like we don't do this at our house because 0:13:11.120 --> 0:13:14.679 for me, like seeing somebody else's reaction with food and 0:13:14.720 --> 0:13:17.559 seeing their smile and their eyes light up for the 0:13:17.600 --> 0:13:22.960 first bite of like dulce deh stuff churo is like 0:13:23.920 --> 0:13:27.800 that brings me to life. And that's what I do. 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:33.520 I've just figured it out. I mean being around really 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:36.600 great chefs and then also just trying things. So like 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:42.480 for lunch today we had like this Indian corma and 0:13:43.760 --> 0:13:47.320 non and roasted carrots, and like we just do fun 0:13:47.320 --> 0:13:50.600 stuff every day because I'm just always trying new things 0:13:50.760 --> 0:13:55.200 because for lunch, yeah yeah, yeah for sure. And like 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:57.680 my wife and I, because we love hosting so much, 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:02.320 we want to see an experience. All the spots in Orlando, 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:05.720 so that when somebody does come for three days, we 0:14:05.760 --> 0:14:09.200 can be like, everything you eat the next three days 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:11.640 is going to blow your mind. I never want to 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:14.760 try a new place with somebody random for the first 0:14:14.760 --> 0:14:17.400 time because I want to make sure that they're getting 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:21.440 the best bites that they could possibly have. It's like 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:24.600 it literally fuels me. It's my favorite thing in the world, 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:28.120 probably outside of the Bible and my family. 0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:30.480 So food is definitely your love language. 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:35.440 Yeah, and food in regard of other people. 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.640 But yourself too, because you're making this karm this tiziki 0:14:39.760 --> 0:14:40.720 karma thing on a two. 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:42.240 Sure whatever you said, you. 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:43.280 Just explore my wife. 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:47.440 Oh yeah, is your Are you access service? Is that 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:49.040 your also your love language? 0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:54.200 It is? Yes, you're good. You know these things because you. 0:14:54.160 --> 0:14:57.320 Like to serve people. I am not access service. I 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.600 like that. I am words of affirmation. Like I will 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:02.640 tell you all day long. I will like tell you 0:15:02.680 --> 0:15:04.600 how great you are. I will find your strengths, I 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:06.840 will build you up. But like if you want me 0:15:06.920 --> 0:15:11.640 to do something for you, yeah, I am fatigued already. 0:15:11.960 --> 0:15:14.400 I am like war just thinking about it. Like if 0:15:14.400 --> 0:15:16.840 you need me to fix something or repair it, or 0:15:16.920 --> 0:15:19.920 I can't cook, so you would not like comes to 0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:22.560 my house, but we have great, wonderful get togethers. But 0:15:22.600 --> 0:15:24.000 it's definitely not about the food. 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:30.360 But like, has your love language changed over the years 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:33.280 at all? You know? 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:36.840 I think I'm still as far as what I give people. 0:15:36.880 --> 0:15:40.080 I have started becoming more gifts, Like I'm not strongly gifts, 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:42.760 but I do like to give people things, Like I 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:45.520 like to show up with a gift that's thoughtful. I 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:48.040 like to Now that I have a daughter, I love 0:15:48.080 --> 0:15:50.200 to shower her with gifts. That's probably not healthy, but 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:53.560 like I love, I love to like I love, But 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:57.280 ultimately no, it's it's words because I want to tell 0:15:57.360 --> 0:16:00.560 you how special you are. I want you to know 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:04.080 that you are very important. I want you to know 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:06.120 your strengths. I want you to walk away from me 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:11.200 feeling valued and then knowing yourself why you have, what 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:12.080 your gifts. 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:15.360 Are and are you Does that go back to you 0:16:15.400 --> 0:16:18.560 as well? Do you prefer receiving words of affirmation and 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:20.960 gifts or is it just is that the way you give. 0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:25.680 I think that might have changed because I used to 0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:29.600 always love words of affirmation. Now I really appreciate access 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:32.240 service now that I'm adult, because I mean, that's a 0:16:32.280 --> 0:16:35.560 lot of my sister's access service and she is the best. 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:38.160 I mean, she just like handles everything. And I'm like, 0:16:38.200 --> 0:16:40.560 how do you have this energy? Do you just have 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:42.960 tons of energy? Are you just doing stuff all the time? 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:45.920 Yeah, And it drives my wife crazy. I think because 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:48.840 I can't sit still. I didn't learn to relax until 0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:54.400 we got married. There was because I felt bad, and 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:57.400 there was a time period where I think there was 0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:00.720 like it was six years where I worked every single holiday, 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:03.040 I worked, every single weekend. I worked. I didn't take 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.560 a day off for all six years, and I didn't 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:08.159 go on vacation or anything. And then we got married 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:09.679 and it was like, oh, I need to make a 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:12.960 change here. If I want to please my wife and 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:17.399 be happy at home, then I need to learn how 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:20.280 to rest and take some time off. And I did 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:23.159 and it's been fantastic. And the funny thing is you 0:17:23.280 --> 0:17:26.439 still get the same amount done and everything that you 0:17:26.440 --> 0:17:30.760 stress about when you're working twenty four to seven is unnecessary. 0:17:30.800 --> 0:17:34.080 I think, what is your wife's love language. 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:37.800 Words of affirmation and physical touch. Do you receive that 0:17:38.760 --> 0:17:43.960 I do? Yes. It's funny because I agree mine has 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:47.520 changed as well. When I was growing up, it was 0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:51.160 words of affirmation, and then recently, probably in the last 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:54.439 four years, the way that I receive, the way that 0:17:54.480 --> 0:17:57.119 I feel love the most is through acts of service. 0:17:57.400 --> 0:18:00.119 And the way that I give is not only of 0:18:00.200 --> 0:18:03.679 service but also gifts. But I don't like to receive gifts. 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:06.840 So it's fascinating when you get into like the way 0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:08.000 that you give and receive. 0:18:18.480 --> 0:18:20.639 So I have a couple questions that we're going to 0:18:20.640 --> 0:18:23.280 get into your books. The Bible Simplify just coming out 0:18:23.359 --> 0:18:25.520 July first, and I have a lot of questions about 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:27.439 that because I think it's a great concept. You're like 0:18:27.520 --> 0:18:33.000 literally simplifying the Bible into a digestible book that we 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:36.879 can understand, because it's pretty overwhelming. And I want to 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:38.760 talk to about your faith journey because I've had quite 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:40.760 the faith journey and I know you have as well, 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.600 and I struggle with the intensity of all these rules 0:18:46.640 --> 0:18:49.920 sometimes in Christianity that is sometimes a big turn off 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:51.320 for me, and I want to talk to you about 0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:56.320 how you navigate that. So when you grew up with 0:18:56.440 --> 0:19:00.199 all these females influencing your life and you're like the 0:19:00.240 --> 0:19:03.720 girl's best friends, like you're the girl's guy you're hanging 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:06.080 out all these girls, did you want to date. 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:06.360 All of them? 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:10.000 Or how do you know? How do you know when 0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:13.640 someone's a friend and someone's someone you want to pursue romantically? 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:16.680 Because I was never friends with guys, Like, I did 0:19:16.720 --> 0:19:18.680 not know how to be friends with guys. I always just. 0:19:18.640 --> 0:19:20.320 Had crushes on for sure. 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:24.399 So how did you what is that line? Because how 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:27.320 did you know who you wanted to pursue and who 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:29.240 was just a friend because I always heard guys and 0:19:29.280 --> 0:19:30.359 girls can't be friends. 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:32.920 Yeah, one hundred percent. I mean like as a kid 0:19:32.960 --> 0:19:35.359 growing up and stuff, you're like, ooh, that that girl 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:37.439 is kind of cute. I'm going to be her friend 0:19:38.200 --> 0:19:40.200 and for a while and we'll see what it turns into. 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:45.800 The underlying there was sometimes even with the neighbors. 0:19:46.760 --> 0:19:49.040 No, see, that's the issue. Then you can get into 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:52.199 a tricky situation because you can be super friendly with 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:54.600 some people and then all of a sudden they start 0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:58.879 expressing feelings for you and you're like, oh, no, I 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:02.520 did that was the last thing on my mind. And 0:20:02.560 --> 0:20:06.120 then it makes the relationship or the friendship weird and 0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:09.439 you kind of move your own direction. I think so, 0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:12.639 But is there a way to tell the difference between 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:17.280 the two. I think no. I think I was treating 0:20:17.320 --> 0:20:21.920 people the same and till there was a love interest. 0:20:22.240 --> 0:20:24.879 Like with my wife, for example, she wanted to be 0:20:24.960 --> 0:20:28.399 friends for uh for a long time, and I wanted 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:30.639 to date her right away. And I thought she was 0:20:30.720 --> 0:20:34.400 interested in me right away because she was so friendly 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:38.000 with me, and so being from Minnesota, I was like, 0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:42.240 and her being from Miami, it's just a different culture 0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:45.000 with dating, and so she was like, oh, yeah, we 0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:47.639 just talk from the moment we wake up to the 0:20:47.680 --> 0:20:48.640 moment we go to bed. 0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:51.280 Oh, so y'all are like chit chatting and texting and 0:20:51.320 --> 0:20:53.960 she was just affacting with you, and you're like, oh, 0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:54.919 she loves me. 0:20:55.520 --> 0:20:57.879 Uh huh from Minnesota. I don't know, maybe it's a 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:00.480 I just attribute it to being from Minnesota and the 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:03.120 dating culture was different. But it's like, yeah, if we're 0:21:03.160 --> 0:21:06.760 talking all day, you're for sure into me, and I'm 0:21:06.800 --> 0:21:11.040 for sure into you. And so I started expressing interest 0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:14.880 after a month and she was like, oh, no, I'm 0:21:14.880 --> 0:21:15.800 not interested. 0:21:16.600 --> 0:21:18.280 What did that crush you? Well? 0:21:18.880 --> 0:21:22.040 Yeah, but I didn't believe it. And that was like 0:21:22.200 --> 0:21:25.160 a week before Christmas, and I had all of Christmas 0:21:25.200 --> 0:21:27.800 off for my job at the time. So I flew 0:21:27.840 --> 0:21:31.000 down to Miami with no plans except to see her, 0:21:31.080 --> 0:21:33.760 and her her best friend at the time convinced me 0:21:33.800 --> 0:21:35.600 that it was a good idea to set up like 0:21:35.680 --> 0:21:39.760 this sunset sailboat cruise and like a sushi dinner, and 0:21:39.800 --> 0:21:42.600 it was this gonna be this romantic thing. So I 0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:45.040 get to the airport at like five am and I 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:47.120