Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick.
Speaker 2: I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast.
Speaker 1: I wanted to thank you for joining us today. Hope
Speaker 1: this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith.
Speaker 2: Hope it gives your perspective to see God is moving
Speaker 2: in your life.
Speaker 1: Enjoy the message and must continue in this series.
Speaker 2: The other half, we believe great relationships still exist. We
Speaker 2: don't believe that every marriage has to be dysfunctional.
Speaker 1: Amen.
Speaker 2: We don't believe parents have to hate their kids, kids
Speaker 2: hate their parents. We believe that Christ offers us plenty
Speaker 2: of wisdom and the scripture about not only how to
Speaker 2: relate to Him, but how to relate to one another.
Speaker 2: And we also believe that you can't worship Christ properly
Speaker 2: and treat people like craps. So sometimes you got to
Speaker 2: get it right at this horizontal level before the vertical level.
Speaker 2: Last week when I left you, I taught you how
Speaker 2: to put down the magnifying glass, Thank you worship team,
Speaker 2: and pick up a mirror. Because sometimes when you're looking
Speaker 2: to change stuff in other people, the place you need
Speaker 2: to start the most is in yourself. Because if you
Speaker 2: don't see yourself correctly, how in the world.
Speaker 1: Can you help anybody else with their own issues.
Speaker 2: You're just going to end up projecting your dysfunctions onto them,
Speaker 2: and then you be fixing things that are really wrong
Speaker 2: with you, but trying to fix it on the platform
Speaker 2: of their life.
Speaker 1: And that won't be good.
Speaker 2: That won't help you stay married, it won't help you
Speaker 2: make friends, it won't help you raise.
Speaker 1: Your children or anything like that.
Speaker 2: So I want to continue along those same lines today
Speaker 2: and go back to the words of Jesus and the
Speaker 2: sermon on the Mount.
Speaker 1: I want to pick up.
Speaker 2: In Matthew chapter five, verse twenty one through twenty six.
Speaker 2: And I know you're excited to study God's word today,
Speaker 2: and I'm excited to preach.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about the.
Speaker 2: Prison of offense, and I believe God is going to
Speaker 2: set some people free today from the prison of offense.
Speaker 2: And I asked that you pray for me as I speak,
Speaker 2: that I might speak with accuracy in a way that
Speaker 2: would liberate people.
Speaker 1: Jesus says, you have heard that it was.
Speaker 2: Said to the people long ago, you shall not murder.
Speaker 2: This begins a series of six theological upgrades that Jesus
Speaker 2: Christ has come to reveal.
Speaker 1: He's taking some.
Speaker 2: Wisdom that has passed down and deluded from the law
Speaker 2: of Moses, and he.
Speaker 1: Is showing how his.
Speaker 2: Perfect wisdom is the fulfillment of what began in Moses.
Speaker 2: And he begins with this idea that long before something
Speaker 2: happens in our lives, it happened.
Speaker 1: In our heart.
Speaker 2: I said, long before something happens in your life, it
Speaker 2: happened in your heart. And he says that there's this
Speaker 2: command you shall not murder, and anyone who murders will
Speaker 2: be subject to judgment. But I tell you that anyone
Speaker 2: who is angry with a brother or sister will be
Speaker 2: subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother
Speaker 2: or sister raka, I don't even know what that means,
Speaker 2: but that sounds like a cushword.
Speaker 1: It's got that hard consonant in the middle.
Speaker 2: If you say that to your brother and sister, you
Speaker 2: are answerable to the court or the Sanhedrin.
Speaker 1: And anyone who.
Speaker 2: Says to a brother or sister, you fool, will be
Speaker 2: in danger of the fire of hell.
Speaker 1: That kind of scares me because I've said some.
Speaker 2: Worse things than raca and you fool, And I don't
Speaker 2: want to go to hell. But watch this, he said,
Speaker 2: in the knowledge of this, that what starts in the
Speaker 2: heart doesn't stay in the heart. What starts as a
Speaker 2: thought and turns into a word can actually create a
Speaker 2: living hell in your life. You know, you can turn
Speaker 2: your home into a living hell just.
Speaker 1: By what you allow to access your heart. You really can.
Speaker 2: You can turn a beautiful relationship into a garbage dump.
Speaker 1: In fact, when Jesus says that you be in.
Speaker 2: Danger of the fires of hell, he's not so much
Speaker 2: speaking of something.
Speaker 1: Abstract and theoretical.
Speaker 2: He's referring to Gahinna, which did you people would have
Speaker 2: been familiar with. It was like a place where they
Speaker 2: used to sacrifice humans. They would sacrifice their babies to
Speaker 2: the false god Molik, and they abandoned that practice, but
Speaker 2: they kept it as a garbage dump. And it said
Speaker 2: that the fires of Gahinna never never actually went out,
Speaker 2: and so there was always a smoldering fire in Gahinna.
Speaker 2: And he's bringing up this place, and he's saying that
Speaker 2: anger within your heart and unresolved conflict in your relationships,
Speaker 2: it can make your heart a living hell.
Speaker 1: I hope you guys enjoyed the sermon. Last week.
Speaker 2: This was gonna be a little different this week, So
Speaker 2: I hope you're but there's a reality to be examined
Speaker 2: here about the progression of offenses in our lives. Have
Speaker 2: you noticed that we live in an age of perpetual offense?
Speaker 1: I mean everybody is.
Speaker 2: Offended about everything all the time.
Speaker 1: No, I'm serious. I have to pray for twenty minutes before.
Speaker 2: I post anything on Instagram or Facebook, just to think
Speaker 2: about how could I possibly phrase this where.
Speaker 1: I won't offend somebody. I remember a couple of years
Speaker 1: ago that I put and this is years ago and
Speaker 1: I still remember it.
Speaker 2: I put something on Twitter that I thought was very
Speaker 2: clever because I.
Speaker 3: Was studying a sermon on sanctification, and I was trying
Speaker 3: to find a way to preach about sanctification that wouldn't
Speaker 3: put the people to sleep. Because if I just stand
Speaker 3: up to say I'm going to talk to you today
Speaker 3: about sanctification, I would lose a lot of my audience
Speaker 3: that isn't as spiritual as Brad. So I was trying
Speaker 3: to just put it in real terms, and God gave.
Speaker 1: Me this phrase.
Speaker 2: He said, you should live in your sermon. People don't
Speaker 2: need sermons that smell like a library. They need sermons
Speaker 2: that smell like real life.
Speaker 1: And I was so impressed with that thought I put
Speaker 1: it on Twitter.
Speaker 2: I said, sermons should smell less like a library and
Speaker 2: more like real life. And this lady tweeted me back
Speaker 2: she was a library. She wanted me to know she
Speaker 2: was highly offended. She said, great, just what I needed
Speaker 2: my pastor taking shots at my chosen career and profession.
Speaker 1: How would you.
Speaker 2: Feel if you were a library? And well, lady, I
Speaker 2: didn't mean it like all that, just offendable. Christians are
Speaker 2: the most offendable people on the planet, which is kind
Speaker 2: of ironic considering that our whole religion revolves around a
Speaker 2: relationship with somebody that dropped every offense that we had
Speaker 2: committed against him. That's kind of weird to me. I'm serious, man,
Speaker 2: you have to be really careful. People just get offended.
Speaker 2: I know I'm easily offended. God's working with me on this.
Speaker 2: He spoke to me a while back.
Speaker 1: He said, the reason.
Speaker 2: Is so hard for you to stay happy is because
Speaker 2: it's so easy for you to get offended. If you
Speaker 2: want to make it easier to stay happy, make it
Speaker 2: harder for you to get offended. So I'm working on
Speaker 2: this becoming unofendable project, and I want to invite you
Speaker 2: in on it because Jesus says that this offense, however
Speaker 2: it started with your brother and sister, if you entertain it, it.
Speaker 1: Creates a living hell.
Speaker 2: It spirals out of control, things can sink, things can
Speaker 2: spin out of control so quick you don't even know
Speaker 2: what's happening. And the enemy's agenda in your life is destruction.
Speaker 1: Thief comes to kill, still and destroyer.
Speaker 2: That's John chapter ten, verse ten, note takers, and his
Speaker 2: agenda is destruction. Every good and perfect gift comes from above,
Speaker 2: God's giver. Inemy's taker wants to destroy every good thing
Speaker 2: that God puts in your life. Okay, that's his agenda.
Speaker 2: His strategy is division. Jesus shared with us in Matthew
Speaker 2: twelve twenty five that a house divided against itself can't stand.
Speaker 2: Abraham Lincoln didn't say that, Jesus said it. Jesus said
Speaker 2: that if the enemy wants to destroy your house, the
Speaker 2: first thing he must do to destroy your house is
Speaker 2: to divide your health. Are there any newly married couples
Speaker 2: in church today? Newly married? Why are you clapping?
Speaker 1: For them. They haven't proven anything yet. Is that pity?
Speaker 2: Applause? Newly married couples? Just one more time and I
Speaker 2: see Rachie. I'm saying like, maybe, like you're newly married?
Speaker 1: How new a year? That counts? Would you come on
Speaker 1: the stage? Do you mind?
Speaker 2: I don't want to embarrass you in anyway. Is your
Speaker 2: wife here?
Speaker 1: She's not here.
Speaker 2: You gotta sit down and you would have been great too.
Speaker 2: Anybody here with your wife that's newly married. You guys
Speaker 2: actually made it to church together today.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I'm sure she's serving any kis. Would
Speaker 1: you two years? Two years?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Come on, if you don't mind, come on, let's
Speaker 2: get my hand.
Speaker 1: Come on, guys, go on my hand. This is brave man.
Speaker 1: I have no idea what they're getting into now. I'm
Speaker 1: not just gonna preach about married. It's coach day, but
Speaker 1: I think if I use a marriage illustration, imply relationship.
Speaker 1: Keep talking while they come. Come on, guys, can talk
Speaker 1: to your name Stephanie and Dan. Good to have you guys, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: come on all the way off. That'll be great.
Speaker 2: Let me show you what the devil wants to do
Speaker 2: in your relationship. Because God said that the two shall
Speaker 2: become one. This is exactly what the enemy wants. So
Speaker 2: every battle you're gonna fight, every argument about the dishes,
Speaker 2: really it's a it's the enemies. The enemy's agenda is destruction.
Speaker 2: And so his strategy is division. And the enemy, I
Speaker 2: don't know if you believe in the devil or not,
Speaker 2: but the enemy, Stephanie's not going to be happy until
Speaker 2: he sees you like this. And what I just showed you,
Speaker 2: the Bible says that marriage is even a picture of
Speaker 2: Christ and the church. So what he wants to do
Speaker 2: to them, he wants to do to this whole church,
Speaker 2: and what he wants to do to them he wants
Speaker 2: to do to you and your teenage or what he
Speaker 2: wants to does them, And and so his his agenda
Speaker 2: is destruction. He comes to kill still destroy. Histrategy is
Speaker 2: the vision. And here's his tactic. And this is the
Speaker 2: part I want to preach about. And I appreciate you
Speaker 2: helping me, because you guys can help me preach a
Speaker 2: sermon today.
Speaker 1: His tactic is offense.
Speaker 2: Satan has an offensive strategy because if he walked up
Speaker 2: to you, I don't know how I forgot your name
Speaker 2: already tell me one more time, Dan, Dan, Dan the man,
Speaker 2: Come on, is Dan the man?
Speaker 1: Everybody?
Speaker 2: And if the devil we're not subtle, Dan wouldn't stand
Speaker 2: for his schemes.
Speaker 1: But the enemy is very strategic, and Jesus.
Speaker 2: Is giving us, really in Matthew chapter five, kind of
Speaker 2: a playbook of how the enemy wants to work in
Speaker 2: your relationship.
Speaker 1: And I know Dan's not going to let him, but
Speaker 1: he's going to try. Now.
Speaker 2: He won't make an announcement, Hey, I'm coming to kill
Speaker 2: and steal and destroy, you know, because right now you
Speaker 2: just spend all those money on the flowers and the
Speaker 2: dresses and all the groomsmen and all that stuff. And
Speaker 2: I know it's been a couple of years, and that's
Speaker 2: good because what you see in those first couple of
Speaker 2: years is you see that the enemy will usually start
Speaker 2: in a small way because if he announced I've come
Speaker 2: to divide, Dann the Man wouldn't stand for that. If
Speaker 2: the devil came into divide, come on, stick.
Speaker 1: Your chest out.
Speaker 2: Dan.
Speaker 1: Dan ain't having it. Dan ain't having it.
Speaker 2: But if the enemy can just what he'll do, he'll
Speaker 2: just use the littlest offense. And what Jesus is doing
Speaker 2: in Matthew chapter five. He's showing us how to deal
Speaker 2: with the offense so we can keep the devil on defense.
Speaker 1: How many want to keep.
Speaker 2: The devil on defense in your life and in your family?
Speaker 2: Come on church, So you guys, if you sit back down,
Speaker 2: I'll bring back in a minute. But I don't want
Speaker 2: you to have to stay up here the whole time.
Speaker 2: But just stay ready. Okay, all right, we're gonna come
Speaker 2: back to here.
Speaker 1: Last week when I was freaching.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you remembered how many of you
Speaker 2: were here last week.
Speaker 1: Make some now.
Speaker 2: If the person next to you isn't making noise, touch
Speaker 2: them and say you really missed it, You really missed it.
Speaker 2: I ended remember talking about you got this plank in
Speaker 2: your eye, and you're so concerned about the little speck
Speaker 2: in my eye while you're walking around your big old
Speaker 2: plank just whacking them on the head, just causing distraction,
Speaker 2: division and all this stuff. And it's the contrast between
Speaker 2: the small things and the big things. And there are
Speaker 2: times that a big offense. I mean, there's not a
Speaker 2: week that goes by Hollywood. You agree that somebody doesn't
Speaker 2: call me for counsel that's going through a marriage situation,
Speaker 2: like a divorce of separation.
Speaker 1: Buck, is this true. It's not a week that goes by.
Speaker 2: It'll be another pastor or maybe a situation in the church,
Speaker 2: and I get to talking to them about what happened.
Speaker 2: And if you can go back far enough, you find
Speaker 2: that every plank is made up of a lot of specs.
Speaker 1: And to me, that's the heart of Jesus teaching. I
Speaker 1: really didn't read you the.
Speaker 2: Whole passage because I want to break it down and
Speaker 2: show you how it happens. He said, it could be
Speaker 2: something as small as a word. Now write this down.
Speaker 2: The closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity.
Speaker 1: And that goes both ways.
Speaker 2: The closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity for intimacy. However,
Speaker 2: the closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity for offense.
Speaker 2: That's why nobody can make you really mad, like somebody
Speaker 2: that you really love. Really nobody can hurt you like
Speaker 2: somebody that you've given your heart to.
Speaker 1: Nobody.
Speaker 2: And I've asked the question a lot of times of people,
Speaker 2: and really in my own mind, I've seen people that
Speaker 2: were so loyal to each other and if you had
Speaker 2: asked me ten years ago, who is most likely to
Speaker 2: ever have kind of an enemy relationship, or who's most
Speaker 2: likely it could be a divorce, or who's most likely
Speaker 2: to not.
Speaker 1: Be speaking to each other? And some of those very
Speaker 1: same people.
Speaker 2: Just in the last year of my life, Ethan, I've
Speaker 2: watched some things happen that surprised me and you kind
Speaker 2: of every time you see it, you ask the question,
Speaker 2: how did we get here? You see how big Van
Speaker 2: was smiling over Stephanie. Now they're going to have a
Speaker 2: great marriage and all of that, and it's going to
Speaker 2: be awesome, But you ask the question, how could somebody
Speaker 2: who had that same hope, that same smile barely stand
Speaker 2: to be in the room with somebody two kids later.
Speaker 2: And it happens, And there's all kinds of ways that
Speaker 2: it happens. I know there's compatibility, and I know that
Speaker 2: it's not always something that you can fix because it
Speaker 2: takes one to forgive, but it takes two to be reconciled.
Speaker 2: And I guess I want you to know that my
Speaker 2: goal today isn't to so much do an autopsy of
Speaker 2: anybody's mistakes, but just to show you something that happens
Speaker 2: It always happens one offence at a time.
Speaker 1: Yes there are.
Speaker 2: Betrayals, and yes there's adult tree, and yes there's abuse.
Speaker 2: I'm not really talking about those big things so much today.
Speaker 1: As I am what Jesus was talking about.
Speaker 2: He said, if you get something in your heart against
Speaker 2: your brother and sister, and then you nurse it and
Speaker 2: rehearse it long enough, it will literally create a smoldering
Speaker 2: garbage dump of fire in the very relationship that was
Speaker 2: once a garden of potential and love.
Speaker 1: How does this happen? It happens one offence at a time.
Speaker 2: How did we get here where we're smiling like everything
Speaker 2: is okay? But deep down in my heart, you know,
Speaker 2: if we come to church, man, nobody sees this stuff
Speaker 2: when we come to church, watch this, jesays. In verse
Speaker 2: twenty three, he says, if you are offering your gift
Speaker 2: at the altar, and there remember that your brother.
Speaker 1: Or sister has something against you.
Speaker 2: Leave your gift there in front of the altar and
Speaker 2: get it right with the person that is not right
Speaker 2: with before you sing a song or pray a prayer
Speaker 2: to try to cover up.
Speaker 1: The fact that your relationships are under attack.
Speaker 2: We were singing today in church, this song, this beautiful
Speaker 2: worship song. Man, you should have seen the people singing,
Speaker 2: and people had their hands lifted.
Speaker 1: Mercy's folly.
Speaker 2: And that's why was coming out of some people's mouths.
Speaker 1: But if you can see.
Speaker 2: What's going on in their heart, Jesus as possible for
Speaker 2: you to be doing something on an outward level and
Speaker 2: at an inward level you're full of anger and resentment.
Speaker 1: Mercy is.
Speaker 4: Fall except on my huh husband. He as.
Speaker 2: If you could hear what was happening in the hearts
Speaker 2: of people. How do we get here? Jesus says. It
Speaker 2: starts small, but one offense at a time. The devil
Speaker 2: wants to tear dense heart from Stephanie's heart. You know,
Speaker 2: God takes the two and makes some one. The enemy
Speaker 2: takes the one and makes them two.
Speaker 1: How does he do it? One offense at a time?
Speaker 2: And God knows I need this message, man, because I'm
Speaker 2: not a perfect husband. I give ninety seven percent of
Speaker 2: the credit for the happiness that exists in my marriage
Speaker 2: to my wife. Three percent is me. I'm pretty proud
Speaker 2: of that three But if you put me in the
Speaker 2: wrong situation, I can get offended so.
Speaker 1: Quick, just like on Twitter.
Speaker 2: There was one woman that went off on me, and
Speaker 2: I still remember what she said three years later.
Speaker 1: You know, thousands of people have said nice things to me,
Speaker 1: but I'm quick to find the offense.
Speaker 2: We can train ourselves to find the offense and then
Speaker 2: just overreact. Man, it starts off as Raka, you fool.
Speaker 2: Next thing you know, I'm in living hell and watsch I.
Speaker 1: Bad at this?
Speaker 2: Jesus said, it can get so bad if you don't
Speaker 2: deal with it. If you don't learn how to deal
Speaker 2: with this Dan, if you don't deal with the little things,
Speaker 2: little foxes, he says, if you don't settle matters quickly
Speaker 2: verse twenty five, with your adversary who.
Speaker 3: Is taking you to According to that confused me because
Speaker 3: in verse twenty one, we're talking about your brother or sister, Right,
Speaker 3: we're talking about somebody you're close to.
Speaker 2: In verse twenty five, we're talking about your adversary. I
Speaker 2: always assume these are two different people.
Speaker 1: What if it's not.
Speaker 2: What if the same person who you called brother and
Speaker 2: sister in twenty one is the same person who will
Speaker 2: be your enemy in twenty five.
Speaker 1: If you don't learn how to deal with offense, it
Speaker 1: happens you ever thought about that.
Speaker 2: The person who, he says, the person who doesn't deal
Speaker 2: with the offense. And it's interesting how he says it.
Speaker 2: If you don't settle matters quickly, that's so powerful. Saddle
Speaker 2: matters quickly with your adversary who's taking you to court,
Speaker 2: do what you can while you are still together on
Speaker 2: the way, or your adversary may hand you over to
Speaker 2: the judge, and the judge may hand you over to
Speaker 2: the officer, and you may be.
Speaker 1: Thrown into prison.
Speaker 2: And truly, I tell you, knock it out until you
Speaker 2: paid the last penny, the prison of offense. And it
Speaker 2: all started with Roca. It all started with Roca, the
Speaker 2: small offense. It all started in the parking lot. I
Speaker 2: was backing out and this guy honking his horn at
Speaker 2: me and his pickup truck. Just a couple months ago,
Speaker 2: I took the boys to see that football movie, the
Speaker 2: Christian football movie. Okay, Wood Wood Woodlock Woodlawn. We went
Speaker 2: and saw Woodlawn made a deep impression on him. We're
Speaker 2: leaving the movie and and this this guy, he's hollering
Speaker 2: at me because his wife wants my parking spot. The
Speaker 2: problem with his wife wanting my parking spot is she
Speaker 2: is pulled up so close on my parking spot. I
Speaker 2: can't get out to give it to her. And now
Speaker 2: that's somehow my fault to this guy in the pickup truck.
Speaker 2: So he says to me, or offers a course of
Speaker 2: action to.
Speaker 1: Me, Hey, get out of her way.
Speaker 2: She's waiting on your spot, and I'm like, And then
Speaker 2: I figure out that this is his wife because I'm
Speaker 2: putting it all together, and I rolled down my window
Speaker 2: and I says something back to him. No, it wasn't
Speaker 2: any profanity or anything like that, but it was a
Speaker 2: rocket type thing that I said something about his wife's
Speaker 2: driving skills or something, you know, something like that, just
Speaker 2: something insinuate.
Speaker 1: But then he wants to get out of his truck
Speaker 1: and he's not bigger than me.
Speaker 2: So now I gotta get out of my maximum because
Speaker 2: I got to because my boys are watching this, and
Speaker 2: I need even be a good example that if a
Speaker 2: man gets out of his pickup.
Speaker 1: Truck and challenges you.
Speaker 2: It doesn't matter whether you have an elevation sticker on
Speaker 2: your car.
Speaker 1: You gotta handle this. Why are you clapping for me?
Speaker 1: I'm so bewildered.
Speaker 2: And I got out and I said what are we
Speaker 2: gonna do?
Speaker 1: Just a question, just a question. There's just a question.
Speaker 1: And I don't know what happened next.
Speaker 2: I think, to this day, I still don't know, because
Speaker 2: his tone changed dramatically. I don't think he was intimidated
Speaker 2: by me. I think he really who I was. I
Speaker 2: think so because it was right here in town. And
Speaker 2: so I think he because I think he put the
Speaker 2: sticker and the all thing together, because all of.
Speaker 1: A sudden he turned real spiritual. He was like, well, God,
Speaker 1: bless you man. We're just all trying to get where
Speaker 1: we're trying to go. And I was like, yeah, we are.
Speaker 1: Around this time, Graham comes out the car. He's eight,
Speaker 1: you know. He comes over and stands by me, and
Speaker 1: he said, you got your boys and I got my wife.
Speaker 2: I says, cool, and we've got over here, and got
Speaker 2: back in the car and I said when Graham got
Speaker 2: in the car, I said, Graham, I said, what were
Speaker 2: you gonna do?
Speaker 1: And Graham said I.
Speaker 2: Was gonna kick him in the shin if I had to.
Speaker 1: And Elijah, my older son, he.
Speaker 2: Speaks up and says, Daddy, a better question is what
Speaker 2: were you going to do? I said, what ever needed
Speaker 2: to be done. Son, I hadn't thought that far about it,
Speaker 2: and he said, well, think about it. I mean, let's
Speaker 2: say you'll get in a fight in the parking lot
Speaker 2: of the movie theater.
Speaker 1: Not only are the news.
Speaker 2: People going to put you on the news, but they
Speaker 2: might not even we might not even ever see you again.
Speaker 2: We're in the back of the car, and maybe they
Speaker 2: leave us, and then maybe you end up in prison,
Speaker 2: and maybe we don't have a dad.
Speaker 1: Did you think about that?
Speaker 2: And I said, that's right, son, I'm giving you an example.
Speaker 1: How not to handle a situation. We went and ate
Speaker 1: some Mexican food.
Speaker 2: And here's why I told you that story. When you
Speaker 2: are in these moments I'm talking about, not with somebody
Speaker 2: in parking lot, somebody you love. You're not thinking through
Speaker 2: the fact that this is going to end up with
Speaker 2: me and you and an attorneys sitting down talking about
Speaker 2: dividing our assets.
Speaker 1: That's not how division happens.
Speaker 2: Because the enemy's agenda is destruction. His strategy is division.
Speaker 1: But his tactic is those little offenses.
Speaker 2: Come come on, Dan and Stephanie, come back, and I
Speaker 2: just I need.
Speaker 1: Your help because bring up, bring up my garden. Come on,
Speaker 1: it's Dan and Stephanie.
Speaker 2: Everybody two years, We're gonna get them to twenty. We're
Speaker 2: gonna get you to twenty. I so appreciate your help.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna send I'm gonna send you guys to your
Speaker 2: favorite restaurant. What's your favorite restaurant, Stephanie, what's our favorite restaurant?
Speaker 1: I was gonna say Baker's Field, but theF change I
Speaker 1: love it too. So here here's a garden. This This
Speaker 1: represents the love of.
Speaker 2: A relationship and and all the potential of a relationship.
Speaker 2: And this, of course represents the offenses that are going
Speaker 2: to come into your relationship.
Speaker 1: Now you don't have to be married to get a
Speaker 1: whole lot out of what I'm saying right now.
Speaker 2: This will apply to anybody in your life who is
Speaker 2: important to you and show you exactly what the enemy
Speaker 2: will try to do. Like, for instance, I don't know
Speaker 2: if Stephanie's a good cook or not.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, good good. And I was talking to
Speaker 1: my mom this morning. No, my mom lives here in Charlotte,
Speaker 1: and she reminded me of this story. This is hilarious.
Speaker 2: It just shows how offenses can come because the question
Speaker 2: isn't our offense is going to come into your relationship.
Speaker 1: That's not the question. They're going to come. They're going
Speaker 1: to come. The question is what are you going to
Speaker 1: do with them.
Speaker 2: That's what determines whether or not you keep a strong
Speaker 2: relationship with God, with others, with yourself. So my mom
Speaker 2: was telling me they were at my father's mom's house,
Speaker 2: so my grandmother my dad's mom's house, for Thanksgiving, and
Speaker 2: she made some stuffing, you know that. Yeah, And when
Speaker 2: she and my grandmother made some stuffing.
Speaker 1: And the way.
Speaker 2: I understood the story, my dad was sitting there eating
Speaker 2: his mom's stuffing.
Speaker 1: And while he's.
Speaker 2: Eating the stuffing, he says, trying to give a compliment
Speaker 2: to his mom.
Speaker 1: He's like, mmm, Mom.
Speaker 2: Nobody makes stuffing like you. I mean, other people try
Speaker 2: to make stuffing, but nobody can make it like you.
Speaker 1: And my mom is thinking.
Speaker 2: While he's saying, nobody makes stuffing like you, my mom
Speaker 2: is thinking, and nobody is going.
Speaker 1: To make stuffing for you.
Speaker 2: Accept your mom, So you better invite your mom to
Speaker 2: be your cook.
Speaker 1: If nobody makes stuffing like her.
Speaker 2: And my mom said, I didn't make that man stuffing
Speaker 2: on Thanksgiving for the next six years, and.
Speaker 1: I said, can I tell the church. That story is
Speaker 1: a good illustration. She said, yes, as long as you.
Speaker 2: Clarify that I really do make better stuffing.
Speaker 1: Than your grandmother.
Speaker 2: Now I got you holding that because he says this stuff. Oh,
Speaker 2: he says these unintentional things, because men are stupid. We
Speaker 2: just say stuff. We don't realize what we're saying, and
Speaker 2: we just say stuff. And maybe Dan hasn't done it yet.
Speaker 2: To me, he looks like an intelligent man, but he's
Speaker 2: gonna say something.
Speaker 1: And it will be unintentional in his mind. He's just
Speaker 1: saying it. He's just saying something. Just say it, just
Speaker 1: says stuff.
Speaker 2: Or sometimes it's not what they say, it's what they
Speaker 2: don't do. It's an unmet expectation. That is the breeding
Speaker 2: ground of offenses and relationships. Unmet expectations. And let me
Speaker 2: tell you the breeding ground of unmet expectations, unexpressed expectations.
Speaker 1: So you got to learn how to talk to people otherwise.
Speaker 2: Like let's say, growing up in Stephanie's house, birthdays were
Speaker 2: a big deal. But maybe at Dan's house they didn't
Speaker 2: make a big deal about birthdays because hey, what did
Speaker 2: you do?
Speaker 1: You didn't do anything on your birthday.
Speaker 2: You were just born so maybe on birthdays at Dan's house,
Speaker 2: nobody celebrates the fact that you just came out into
Speaker 2: the world like it was some great achievement. But Stephanie
Speaker 2: wakes up and her mom used to make her pancakes
Speaker 2: on her birthday, and her dad had a special song
Speaker 2: that he was saying, I don't know I'm making this
Speaker 2: stuff up. I never met Stephanie and Dan before. I
Speaker 2: was making a scenario. And so Dan wakes up on
Speaker 2: the birthday and he's going to take her out to
Speaker 2: pf Change that night because that's her favorite place. But
Speaker 2: now it's morning time and it's like seven, and there's
Speaker 2: no pancakes, and there's no special song and there's no thing.
Speaker 1: And so now all of a sudden, it's the first
Speaker 1: birthday they spend as a married couple.
Speaker 2: And he wakes up and gives her a little kiss
Speaker 2: and goes to work and leaves her with an offense.
Speaker 2: And you're like, well, that's stupid that she shouldn't get
Speaker 2: so offended over that. Well, you get offended over some
Speaker 2: stuff too, some little things, and you hold it and
Speaker 2: it won't just be you offending her. Let's say maybe
Speaker 2: let's say you're working really hard this used to happen
Speaker 2: in me and Holly's marriage.
Speaker 1: This is an example. I did not ask for permission
Speaker 1: to share it.
Speaker 2: When I discovered that her recreational preference was shopping.
Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, so she said me too, So you
Speaker 1: come home on Saturday.
Speaker 2: Holly would come home on Saturday and she would be
Speaker 2: energized and she would have bags all.
Speaker 1: Over her arms.
Speaker 2: But to me, those bags didn't look like shopping bags.
Speaker 1: Those bags looked like grenades to be launched into our
Speaker 1: financial picture. Here, I am trying to work.
Speaker 2: She walking in with all these bags looking out, and
Speaker 2: then she has the nerve to say, don't worry, because
Speaker 2: I got it on. And this is what the devil
Speaker 2: wants all right.
Speaker 1: Now, Dan is trying to fall asleep on Saturday night.
Speaker 2: And again I'm just making this up, but she handed
Speaker 2: you this official.
Speaker 1: One't trying to offend you. She was just shopping. It
Speaker 1: was just a thing.
Speaker 2: But Dan is working, and doesn't she see how hard
Speaker 2: I'm working? And how does she expect us to get
Speaker 2: ahead financially? Like the last thing she needs is another
Speaker 2: pair of shoes, and the.
Speaker 1: Enemy is like, yeah, yeah, that's good, Dan, that's good.
Speaker 1: She doesn't care about you. She doesn't respect you.
Speaker 2: She doesn't she doesn't appreciate all that you're doing to
Speaker 2: provide for her.
Speaker 1: She's working against you. It's just a little offense.
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, Stephanie is still stuck on her birthday. It was
Speaker 2: four months ago. She's still mad about the pancakes.
Speaker 1: Come here, Stephanie, and.
Speaker 2: She's over here, and she's still she's still nursing that
Speaker 2: that thing about the birthday and see us every time
Speaker 2: she thinks about it, just a little deeper. She should
Speaker 2: drive it down in there with every thought and reliving
Speaker 2: it and thinking about what he said and what she
Speaker 2: did and what they didn't say. He didn't pay attention
Speaker 2: to me, I don't appreciate me, and drives it down deeper.
Speaker 2: And marriage is gonna give you because it's the most
Speaker 2: intimate relationship, and the more intimate the relationship, the more infinite.
Speaker 1: The potential for offense.
Speaker 2: And so you're gonna have like a million offenses, little offenses,
Speaker 2: and if you don't learn how to deal with them,
Speaker 2: because sometimes the thing that you liked about her when
Speaker 2: you were dating will drive you crazy now that you
Speaker 2: have to wake up with it every day.
Speaker 1: No offense to Stephanie. I'm sure she's wonderful. You're like, oh,
Speaker 1: why would you say that about her? It's true about everybody.
Speaker 1: Here's how the country preachers had it.
Speaker 2: He said, before marriage, opposites tracked, after marriage opposite attack.
Speaker 2: Hey man, that's how the country preacher said it. And
Speaker 2: so I know it's kind of heavy. That's how offenses are.
Speaker 2: But it's not all at once, it's just one at
Speaker 2: a time. Let's say that before marriage you liked her
Speaker 2: because she is mysterious and quiet, and that draws you
Speaker 2: to her. But then in marriage it can go this
Speaker 2: way to where it was really attractive that she was
Speaker 2: quiet and mysterious when you were dating her.
Speaker 1: But now in marriage she won't ever talk, and it's
Speaker 1: like no, but yeah, but no.
Speaker 2: But just for example, it's like, why won't you tell
Speaker 2: me what's on your mind?
Speaker 1: But that's why you liked her.
Speaker 2: And before you married him, he was the life of
Speaker 2: the party, and he walked in and he just talked.
Speaker 1: And lit up the room. And now why won't he
Speaker 1: ever shut up? Dan? Will not shut up? Shut up Dan?
Speaker 2: And so what actually was part of building the foundation
Speaker 2: of the relationship.
Speaker 1: Now it's a fence and it happens.
Speaker 2: A million different ways in the enemy, all kinds of opportunities,
Speaker 2: and you don't realize what's happening because it's just one
Speaker 2: little conversation after another. You know, it's just dressing on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a big thing.
Speaker 2: It's just me trying to tell Holly how to drive
Speaker 2: and her saying, well, then why don't.
Speaker 1: You drive if you do such a good driver.
Speaker 2: And we have a lot of dysfunction in our relationship
Speaker 2: over what happens in the car because I can't find
Speaker 2: my way places and she can't drive. So she has
Speaker 2: a great sense of direction, but horrible driving skills.
Speaker 1: I'm a great driver with no sense of direction.
Speaker 2: So the other night, we're driving coming from a movie
Speaker 2: as a matter of fact, not the Christian football movie,
Speaker 2: but we're coming back and she almost got us killed.
Speaker 1: And I was mad because to me, she wasn't paying attention.
Speaker 2: And we talked about that later and she was like, well,
Speaker 2: you know, if you want to be in control of how.
Speaker 1: The car works, there's a different seat you can sit in.
Speaker 5: Shut up, lock up, ruck off.
Speaker 2: H that's the biggest problem you have. No, it's not
Speaker 2: the biggest problem we have.
Speaker 1: It's just the one I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna tell you about. It's none of your business or
Speaker 2: a problem here. But see offense by offense. If we
Speaker 2: don't learn what to do about this, the enemy would
Speaker 2: love just one conversation after another. You don't make a
Speaker 2: decision to walk away from a relationship that you love.
Speaker 2: You don't see them becoming your enemy. In Matthew five
Speaker 2: twenty five, it's just one unacknowledged effort after another, and
Speaker 2: you start thinking, well, I'm the only one who ever
Speaker 2: takes out the trash around here.
Speaker 1: I guess I'll do it, do it again like always.
Speaker 2: No, it's good, I got it, I got.
Speaker 1: It's not a problem. I'm would love.
Speaker 2: To get up with the kid again in the middle something.
Speaker 1: I know, it's fine, I know you gotta work. And
Speaker 1: now what started as just a small offense, Now what
Speaker 1: God joined together separated because of offense. And now the
Speaker 1: crazy thing is Jesus said, if you.
Speaker 2: Let it get to this point, if you live your
Speaker 2: relational life on the basis of well, I'm not apologizing first,
Speaker 2: apology us first last time. If you don't learn how
Speaker 2: to deal with these things, you find yourself in prison.
Speaker 2: It's not them that you imprison. It's you, Hey, Dan,
Speaker 2: Why don't we talk anymore? Where did the love go?
Speaker 2: Then we haven't been the PF change in three years?
Speaker 2: Then you built a fence. The enemies agenda is destruction.
Speaker 2: His strategy is the.
Speaker 1: Vision, and his tactic is offense.
Speaker 2: Thankfully, God has given us another way to deal with offense.
Speaker 2: If only we could find an example of somebody who
Speaker 2: had every right to be offended, of somebody who had
Speaker 2: every right to hold it against us, of.
Speaker 1: Somebody who had every right to stand at a distance,
Speaker 1: but opened his arms and said, this is the way
Speaker 1: of relationship.
Speaker 2: And the Lord gave me a real specific word for
Speaker 2: somebody who needs reconciliation in your relationship.
Speaker 1: It's very simple what they have to do.
Speaker 2: If they're gonna stay like they started, if we're gonna
Speaker 2: get back to where we were, we're gonna have to learn.
Speaker 1: Watch this. This is very this is very profound.
Speaker 2: It's deep. You're gonna miss it. This is what you're
Speaker 2: gonna have to learn. You got to learn to drop it.
Speaker 2: You got to learn to drop it. And I don't
Speaker 2: mean suppress it. I don't mean you don't deal with
Speaker 2: things after they happen, but after you've had the conversation, Dan,
Speaker 2: I like pancakes on my birthday.
Speaker 1: Then drop it. Touch somebody say drop it?
Speaker 2: I mean the moment, the offense, because you can't always
Speaker 2: control what's handed to you, but you can control what
Speaker 2: you do with this.
Speaker 1: So what are you gonna do with the offense?
Speaker 2: Come on, Dan, you can't choose anybody else's actions. The
Speaker 2: enemy wants you to drive it down deep.
Speaker 1: You know. He wants you to ah.
Speaker 2: Think about it and miss all the reasons that the
Speaker 2: person has worked their way into your life, and miss
Speaker 2: all the things they've done for you, and he wants
Speaker 2: to drive it. But God says, drop it. I believe
Speaker 2: that there are some things that we need to drop tonight.
Speaker 2: In fact, Jesus said this is so important that if
Speaker 2: you are in church at the altar offering a gift
Speaker 2: and a sacrifice, but the primary relationships in your life
Speaker 2: are dysfunctional and need reconciliation, you can't even properly connect
Speaker 2: with God unless you.
Speaker 1: Drop it.
Speaker 2: Do it again, Dan, drop it? Every time they do it.
Speaker 2: I want you to reinforce it. One two three, drop it.
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do when they when they don't
Speaker 2: acknowledge you?
Speaker 1: When they don't notice you. What are you gonna do?
Speaker 2: What are you going to do when they when they
Speaker 2: are too busy to show you the love and affection,
Speaker 2: but you know that they're trying as hard as they
Speaker 2: can to you gotta. I'm telling you, being married, being
Speaker 2: in a close relationship is about not how quickly you
Speaker 2: can get offended, but how quickly.
Speaker 1: You can get over it. And I want everyone to stand.
Speaker 2: At every location because I want to pray for some people.
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys, would you give them some love? That
Speaker 1: was amazing?
Speaker 2: They're walking off hand in hand. I asked the Lord
Speaker 2: to help me in this message in a way. He said,
Speaker 2: you need to pray for people for not what they're
Speaker 2: going to experience while they're in the church, but what's
Speaker 2: going to happen when they leave, Because you know, you
Speaker 2: can offer a gift at the altar and feel pretty
Speaker 2: good about it, but what's happening back at home can
Speaker 2: be a living hell. And when I read those words
Speaker 2: of Jesus that he said that when you don't deal
Speaker 2: with the offenses, and when you don't drop the offenses,
Speaker 2: when you allow it to become resentment in your life,
Speaker 2: because hey, sometimes reconciliation isn't possible.
Speaker 1: I mean, sometimes the person is dead, that you've held
Speaker 1: the offense again. Sometimes the person isn't willing, but release,
Speaker 1: release is always available. Release starts in your heart.
Speaker 2: Smeed said that forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and
Speaker 2: finding out the prisoner was you. So I believe God
Speaker 2: wants to release some people today.
Speaker 1: Release you from some things you've been.
Speaker 2: Holding on to, some things that have been keeping you
Speaker 2: at a distance, some things that have been keeping you divided,
Speaker 2: And that in these closing moments of our time together today,
Speaker 2: there are some things, by the power of the Cross
Speaker 2: of Jesus Christ, that God is going to bring to mind,
Speaker 2: some offenses that you've been building in some very important relationships,
Speaker 2: and that God is going to begin to demolish your
Speaker 2: excuses and break down your pride and your walls today,
Speaker 2: and that we're going to receive hundreds of testimonies from
Speaker 2: the word that went forth today of a process of
Speaker 2: reconciliation and healing that began between husbands and wives, between
Speaker 2: parents and children, between friends that haven't spoken.
Speaker 1: God says, drop it, man.
Speaker 2: I feel the spirit of Snoop coming on me right now,
Speaker 2: and I want.
Speaker 1: To say drop it like this hot.
Speaker 2: Come on, you gotta drop it while you can't. He said,
Speaker 2: do it while you're still on the way, or this.
Speaker 1: Won't end well with you.
Speaker 2: Unchecked resentment leads to regret, unbelievable regret, and you don't
Speaker 2: want that for your life. So, with everyone standing today,
Speaker 2: I want to ask you a question. If God dropped
Speaker 2: the charges against you, is what offense is there in
Speaker 2: the universe that you can't let go of.
Speaker 1: It's not just flowing to me. The forgiveness of God
Speaker 1: flows through me.
Speaker 2: And because I'm forgiven, I can forgive now before I pray.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that you tolerate abuse. I'm not saying
Speaker 2: any of that. Here's what I'm saying. Offense is an event.
Speaker 2: Offended is a decision.
Speaker 1: Again.
Speaker 2: Offense is an event they hurt me. Offense is an event.
Speaker 2: We need to work through this. But to live offended
Speaker 2: as a believer in Jesus Christ, and to stay that
Speaker 2: way and to live in that place, denies the very
Speaker 2: nature of the salvation.
Speaker 1: That you claim to have received.
Speaker 2: So we want to make some decisions today. If you
Speaker 2: feel comfortable, would you just lift your hands as a
Speaker 2: sign of release. Nobody's looking at you. Don't even worry
Speaker 2: about the crowd. Right now, Father, in this moment, we
Speaker 2: come before you and.
Speaker 1: We just release, Release. Release.
Speaker 2: First of all, we acknowledge our own parts. Sometimes we
Speaker 2: are so quick to see the ways we've been offended,
Speaker 2: and we miss the ways that we've offended.
Speaker 1: So we open our hearts.
Speaker 2: To you, and we thank you for grace, and we
Speaker 2: thank you for mercy, and we lift our hands in
Speaker 2: your presence because we want to be free. We lift
Speaker 2: our hands in your presence because we don't want to
Speaker 2: withhold anything, and we want to be right. And so
Speaker 2: we offer our gift on the altar. But God, we ask,
Speaker 2: would you.
Speaker 1: Do a work in us.
Speaker 2: Some of us have some stuff happening back at home
Speaker 2: and in our hearts and then our relationships that is
Speaker 2: killing our joy and killing our peace. So we've come
Speaker 2: into your presence not just to sing a song or
Speaker 2: to hear a sermon, but to be changed at our core,
Speaker 2: to be changed.
Speaker 1: And we've got some things we need to drop.
Speaker 2: With your hands still lifted in the air, I want
Speaker 2: you to ask God in your heart, is there anything
Speaker 2: I need to drop? Is there something I need to drop?
Speaker 2: Is it a decision I need to make in my
Speaker 2: heart to never bring it up again. Is it a
Speaker 2: conversation I need to have to work through it? What
Speaker 2: do I need to drop? Keep your hands lifted. You
Speaker 2: feel how the blood is flowing out of.
Speaker 1: Your fingers in your hands.
Speaker 2: That's what it feels like when you hold on to stuff,
Speaker 2: when you hold on to offensis, when you hold on
Speaker 2: to what happened years ago. But if you would drop it,
Speaker 2: drop it, you feel that come all over your body
Speaker 2: when you finally decided to drop it. I declare that
Speaker 2: God is going to set some captives free today, that
Speaker 2: you are no longer going to be divided, dying behind offenses,
Speaker 2: isolated behind offenses. And in the name of Jesus, I
Speaker 2: declare release to the prisoners. I prayed that this message
Speaker 2: would stay.
Speaker 1: With you, that it would haunt you, that.
Speaker 2: You would see Dan and Stephanie dropping those planks on
Speaker 2: the stage until you come out from behind every offense
Speaker 2: that has kept you in prison. I want to pray
Speaker 2: before I walk off stage, for people who need a
Speaker 2: right relationship with God, would you buy your head and
Speaker 2: close your eyes again, because there is someone here who
Speaker 2: doesn't have that relationship right. What calls your name, and
Speaker 2: when he speaks to your heart, it's not a good
Speaker 2: thing to wait around. You want to get right now.
Speaker 2: You want to receive grace now, and with your heads bout.
Speaker 1: And eyes closed.
Speaker 2: At every campus, I would love to lead you in
Speaker 2: a prayer to let you know that everything that needs
Speaker 2: to be done for you to be a child of
Speaker 2: God has already been done. Everything that needs to be
Speaker 2: done for you to be forgiven has already been done.
Speaker 2: There's nothing you need to earn, there's nothing you need
Speaker 2: to do. God is the one who changes lives today.
Speaker 2: If you'll reach out for his grace, you will receive it.
Speaker 2: So with your head's bout and your eyes closed, we're
Speaker 2: going to pray as a church family out loud for
Speaker 2: those who.
Speaker 1: Are coming to God or coming back to God.
Speaker 2: Let's pray together, Church, Heavenly Father, I confess that I'm
Speaker 2: a sinner and I need a savior. And today I
Speaker 2: declare that Jesus Christ is my savior.
Speaker 1: And my Lord.
Speaker 2: I believe that Jesus Christ died to forgive my sin,
Speaker 2: rose to give me life.
Speaker 1: And right now, right now, right now.
Speaker 2: I receive this new life. This is my new beginning.
Speaker 2: I am a follower of Christ, I will never be
Speaker 2: the same. With your heads about an ice close on
Speaker 2: the count of three. If you just prayed that prayer,
Speaker 2: shoot your hand in the air.
Speaker 1: Don't be ashamed.
Speaker 2: Let's celebrate one, two, three, Shoot.
Speaker 1: Them up right now, right now, right now. God bless you,
Speaker 1: God bless you. Love every little fiction.
Speaker 6: Come on, Church, Come on, chart, come most celebrate these stignis.
Speaker 6: Celebrate these new lives, Celebrate these new beginnings.
Speaker 1: Come on, celebrate the marcy of God. I'll be their rest.
Speaker 2: Let your hand.
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 2: Special things to those of you who give generously to
Speaker 2: this ministry. Is because of you that this ministry is possible.
Speaker 2: You can click the link in the description to give now,
Speaker 2: or visit Elevationchurch dot org slash podcast for more information
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Speaker 1: Thanks again for listening. God bless you.