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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick.

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Speaker 2: I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to thank you for joining us today. Hope

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Speaker 1: this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith.

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Speaker 2: Hope it gives your perspective to see God is moving

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Speaker 2: in your life.

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Speaker 1: Enjoy the message and must continue in this series.

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Speaker 2: The other half, we believe great relationships still exist. We

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Speaker 2: don't believe that every marriage has to be dysfunctional.

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Speaker 1: Amen.

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Speaker 2: We don't believe parents have to hate their kids, kids

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Speaker 2: hate their parents. We believe that Christ offers us plenty

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Speaker 2: of wisdom and the scripture about not only how to

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Speaker 2: relate to Him, but how to relate to one another.

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Speaker 2: And we also believe that you can't worship Christ properly

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Speaker 2: and treat people like craps. So sometimes you got to

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Speaker 2: get it right at this horizontal level before the vertical level.

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Speaker 2: Last week when I left you, I taught you how

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Speaker 2: to put down the magnifying glass, Thank you worship team,

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Speaker 2: and pick up a mirror. Because sometimes when you're looking

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Speaker 2: to change stuff in other people, the place you need

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Speaker 2: to start the most is in yourself. Because if you

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Speaker 2: don't see yourself correctly, how in the world.

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Speaker 1: Can you help anybody else with their own issues.

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Speaker 2: You're just going to end up projecting your dysfunctions onto them,

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Speaker 2: and then you be fixing things that are really wrong

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Speaker 2: with you, but trying to fix it on the platform

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Speaker 2: of their life.

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Speaker 1: And that won't be good.

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Speaker 2: That won't help you stay married, it won't help you

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Speaker 2: make friends, it won't help you raise.

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Speaker 1: Your children or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: So I want to continue along those same lines today

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Speaker 2: and go back to the words of Jesus and the

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Speaker 2: sermon on the Mount.

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Speaker 1: I want to pick up.

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Speaker 2: In Matthew chapter five, verse twenty one through twenty six.

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Speaker 2: And I know you're excited to study God's word today,

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Speaker 2: and I'm excited to preach.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about the.

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Speaker 2: Prison of offense, and I believe God is going to

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Speaker 2: set some people free today from the prison of offense.

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Speaker 2: And I asked that you pray for me as I speak,

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Speaker 2: that I might speak with accuracy in a way that

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Speaker 2: would liberate people.

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Speaker 1: Jesus says, you have heard that it was.

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Speaker 2: Said to the people long ago, you shall not murder.

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Speaker 2: This begins a series of six theological upgrades that Jesus

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Speaker 2: Christ has come to reveal.

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Speaker 1: He's taking some.

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Speaker 2: Wisdom that has passed down and deluded from the law

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Speaker 2: of Moses, and he.

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Speaker 1: Is showing how his.

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Speaker 2: Perfect wisdom is the fulfillment of what began in Moses.

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Speaker 2: And he begins with this idea that long before something

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Speaker 2: happens in our lives, it happened.

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Speaker 1: In our heart.

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Speaker 2: I said, long before something happens in your life, it

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Speaker 2: happened in your heart. And he says that there's this

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Speaker 2: command you shall not murder, and anyone who murders will

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Speaker 2: be subject to judgment. But I tell you that anyone

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Speaker 2: who is angry with a brother or sister will be

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Speaker 2: subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother

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Speaker 2: or sister raka, I don't even know what that means,

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Speaker 2: but that sounds like a cushword.

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Speaker 1: It's got that hard consonant in the middle.

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Speaker 2: If you say that to your brother and sister, you

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Speaker 2: are answerable to the court or the Sanhedrin.

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Speaker 1: And anyone who.

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Speaker 2: Says to a brother or sister, you fool, will be

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Speaker 2: in danger of the fire of hell.

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Speaker 1: That kind of scares me because I've said some.

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Speaker 2: Worse things than raca and you fool, And I don't

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Speaker 2: want to go to hell. But watch this, he said,

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Speaker 2: in the knowledge of this, that what starts in the

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Speaker 2: heart doesn't stay in the heart. What starts as a

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Speaker 2: thought and turns into a word can actually create a

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Speaker 2: living hell in your life. You know, you can turn

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Speaker 2: your home into a living hell just.

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Speaker 1: By what you allow to access your heart. You really can.

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Speaker 2: You can turn a beautiful relationship into a garbage dump.

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Speaker 1: In fact, when Jesus says that you be in.

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Speaker 2: Danger of the fires of hell, he's not so much

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Speaker 2: speaking of something.

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Speaker 1: Abstract and theoretical.

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Speaker 2: He's referring to Gahinna, which did you people would have

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Speaker 2: been familiar with. It was like a place where they

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Speaker 2: used to sacrifice humans. They would sacrifice their babies to

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Speaker 2: the false god Molik, and they abandoned that practice, but

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Speaker 2: they kept it as a garbage dump. And it said

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Speaker 2: that the fires of Gahinna never never actually went out,

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Speaker 2: and so there was always a smoldering fire in Gahinna.

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Speaker 2: And he's bringing up this place, and he's saying that

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Speaker 2: anger within your heart and unresolved conflict in your relationships,

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Speaker 2: it can make your heart a living hell.

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Speaker 1: I hope you guys enjoyed the sermon. Last week.

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Speaker 2: This was gonna be a little different this week, So

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Speaker 2: I hope you're but there's a reality to be examined

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Speaker 2: here about the progression of offenses in our lives. Have

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Speaker 2: you noticed that we live in an age of perpetual offense?

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Speaker 1: I mean everybody is.

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Speaker 2: Offended about everything all the time.

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Speaker 1: No, I'm serious. I have to pray for twenty minutes before.

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Speaker 2: I post anything on Instagram or Facebook, just to think

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Speaker 2: about how could I possibly phrase this where.

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Speaker 1: I won't offend somebody. I remember a couple of years

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Speaker 1: ago that I put and this is years ago and

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Speaker 1: I still remember it.

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Speaker 2: I put something on Twitter that I thought was very

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Speaker 2: clever because I.

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Speaker 3: Was studying a sermon on sanctification, and I was trying

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Speaker 3: to find a way to preach about sanctification that wouldn't

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Speaker 3: put the people to sleep. Because if I just stand

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Speaker 3: up to say I'm going to talk to you today

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Speaker 3: about sanctification, I would lose a lot of my audience

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Speaker 3: that isn't as spiritual as Brad. So I was trying

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Speaker 3: to just put it in real terms, and God gave.

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Speaker 1: Me this phrase.

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Speaker 2: He said, you should live in your sermon. People don't

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Speaker 2: need sermons that smell like a library. They need sermons

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Speaker 2: that smell like real life.

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Speaker 1: And I was so impressed with that thought I put

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Speaker 1: it on Twitter.

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Speaker 2: I said, sermons should smell less like a library and

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Speaker 2: more like real life. And this lady tweeted me back

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Speaker 2: she was a library. She wanted me to know she

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Speaker 2: was highly offended. She said, great, just what I needed

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Speaker 2: my pastor taking shots at my chosen career and profession.

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Speaker 1: How would you.

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Speaker 2: Feel if you were a library? And well, lady, I

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Speaker 2: didn't mean it like all that, just offendable. Christians are

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Speaker 2: the most offendable people on the planet, which is kind

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Speaker 2: of ironic considering that our whole religion revolves around a

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Speaker 2: relationship with somebody that dropped every offense that we had

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Speaker 2: committed against him. That's kind of weird to me. I'm serious, man,

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Speaker 2: you have to be really careful. People just get offended.

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Speaker 2: I know I'm easily offended. God's working with me on this.

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Speaker 2: He spoke to me a while back.

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Speaker 1: He said, the reason.

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Speaker 2: Is so hard for you to stay happy is because

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Speaker 2: it's so easy for you to get offended. If you

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Speaker 2: want to make it easier to stay happy, make it

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Speaker 2: harder for you to get offended. So I'm working on

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Speaker 2: this becoming unofendable project, and I want to invite you

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Speaker 2: in on it because Jesus says that this offense, however

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Speaker 2: it started with your brother and sister, if you entertain it, it.

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Speaker 1: Creates a living hell.

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Speaker 2: It spirals out of control, things can sink, things can

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Speaker 2: spin out of control so quick you don't even know

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Speaker 2: what's happening. And the enemy's agenda in your life is destruction.

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Speaker 1: Thief comes to kill, still and destroyer.

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Speaker 2: That's John chapter ten, verse ten, note takers, and his

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Speaker 2: agenda is destruction. Every good and perfect gift comes from above,

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Speaker 2: God's giver. Inemy's taker wants to destroy every good thing

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Speaker 2: that God puts in your life. Okay, that's his agenda.

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Speaker 2: His strategy is division. Jesus shared with us in Matthew

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Speaker 2: twelve twenty five that a house divided against itself can't stand.

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Speaker 2: Abraham Lincoln didn't say that, Jesus said it. Jesus said

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Speaker 2: that if the enemy wants to destroy your house, the

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Speaker 2: first thing he must do to destroy your house is

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Speaker 2: to divide your health. Are there any newly married couples

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Speaker 2: in church today? Newly married? Why are you clapping?

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Speaker 1: For them. They haven't proven anything yet. Is that pity?

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Speaker 2: Applause? Newly married couples? Just one more time and I

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Speaker 2: see Rachie. I'm saying like, maybe, like you're newly married?

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Speaker 1: How new a year? That counts? Would you come on

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Speaker 1: the stage? Do you mind?

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Speaker 2: I don't want to embarrass you in anyway. Is your

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Speaker 2: wife here?

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Speaker 1: She's not here.

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Speaker 2: You gotta sit down and you would have been great too.

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Speaker 2: Anybody here with your wife that's newly married. You guys

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Speaker 2: actually made it to church together today.

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Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I'm sure she's serving any kis. Would

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Speaker 1: you two years? Two years?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Come on, if you don't mind, come on, let's

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Speaker 2: get my hand.

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Speaker 1: Come on, guys, go on my hand. This is brave man.

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Speaker 1: I have no idea what they're getting into now. I'm

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Speaker 1: not just gonna preach about married. It's coach day, but

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Speaker 1: I think if I use a marriage illustration, imply relationship.

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Speaker 1: Keep talking while they come. Come on, guys, can talk

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Speaker 1: to your name Stephanie and Dan. Good to have you guys, Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: come on all the way off. That'll be great.

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Speaker 2: Let me show you what the devil wants to do

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Speaker 2: in your relationship. Because God said that the two shall

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Speaker 2: become one. This is exactly what the enemy wants. So

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Speaker 2: every battle you're gonna fight, every argument about the dishes,

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Speaker 2: really it's a it's the enemies. The enemy's agenda is destruction.

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Speaker 2: And so his strategy is division. And the enemy, I

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Speaker 2: don't know if you believe in the devil or not,

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Speaker 2: but the enemy, Stephanie's not going to be happy until

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Speaker 2: he sees you like this. And what I just showed you,

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Speaker 2: the Bible says that marriage is even a picture of

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Speaker 2: Christ and the church. So what he wants to do

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Speaker 2: to them, he wants to do to this whole church,

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Speaker 2: and what he wants to do to them he wants

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Speaker 2: to do to you and your teenage or what he

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Speaker 2: wants to does them, And and so his his agenda

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Speaker 2: is destruction. He comes to kill still destroy. Histrategy is

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Speaker 2: the vision. And here's his tactic. And this is the

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Speaker 2: part I want to preach about. And I appreciate you

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Speaker 2: helping me, because you guys can help me preach a

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Speaker 2: sermon today.

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Speaker 1: His tactic is offense.

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Speaker 2: Satan has an offensive strategy because if he walked up

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Speaker 2: to you, I don't know how I forgot your name

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Speaker 2: already tell me one more time, Dan, Dan, Dan the man,

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Speaker 2: Come on, is Dan the man?

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Speaker 1: Everybody?

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Speaker 2: And if the devil we're not subtle, Dan wouldn't stand

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Speaker 2: for his schemes.

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Speaker 1: But the enemy is very strategic, and Jesus.

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Speaker 2: Is giving us, really in Matthew chapter five, kind of

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Speaker 2: a playbook of how the enemy wants to work in

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Speaker 2: your relationship.

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Speaker 1: And I know Dan's not going to let him, but

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Speaker 1: he's going to try. Now.

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Speaker 2: He won't make an announcement, Hey, I'm coming to kill

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Speaker 2: and steal and destroy, you know, because right now you

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Speaker 2: just spend all those money on the flowers and the

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Speaker 2: dresses and all the groomsmen and all that stuff. And

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Speaker 2: I know it's been a couple of years, and that's

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Speaker 2: good because what you see in those first couple of

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Speaker 2: years is you see that the enemy will usually start

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Speaker 2: in a small way because if he announced I've come

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Speaker 2: to divide, Dann the Man wouldn't stand for that. If

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Speaker 2: the devil came into divide, come on, stick.

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Speaker 1: Your chest out.

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Speaker 2: Dan.

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Speaker 1: Dan ain't having it. Dan ain't having it.

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Speaker 2: But if the enemy can just what he'll do, he'll

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Speaker 2: just use the littlest offense. And what Jesus is doing

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Speaker 2: in Matthew chapter five. He's showing us how to deal

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Speaker 2: with the offense so we can keep the devil on defense.

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Speaker 1: How many want to keep.

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Speaker 2: The devil on defense in your life and in your family?

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Speaker 2: Come on church, So you guys, if you sit back down,

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Speaker 2: I'll bring back in a minute. But I don't want

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Speaker 2: you to have to stay up here the whole time.

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Speaker 2: But just stay ready. Okay, all right, we're gonna come

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Speaker 2: back to here.

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Speaker 1: Last week when I was freaching.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if you remembered how many of you

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Speaker 2: were here last week.

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Speaker 1: Make some now.

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Speaker 2: If the person next to you isn't making noise, touch

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Speaker 2: them and say you really missed it, You really missed it.

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Speaker 2: I ended remember talking about you got this plank in

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Speaker 2: your eye, and you're so concerned about the little speck

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Speaker 2: in my eye while you're walking around your big old

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Speaker 2: plank just whacking them on the head, just causing distraction,

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Speaker 2: division and all this stuff. And it's the contrast between

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Speaker 2: the small things and the big things. And there are

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Speaker 2: times that a big offense. I mean, there's not a

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Speaker 2: week that goes by Hollywood. You agree that somebody doesn't

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Speaker 2: call me for counsel that's going through a marriage situation,

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Speaker 2: like a divorce of separation.

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Speaker 1: Buck, is this true. It's not a week that goes by.

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Speaker 2: It'll be another pastor or maybe a situation in the church,

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Speaker 2: and I get to talking to them about what happened.

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Speaker 2: And if you can go back far enough, you find

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Speaker 2: that every plank is made up of a lot of specs.

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Speaker 1: And to me, that's the heart of Jesus teaching. I

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Speaker 1: really didn't read you the.

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Speaker 2: Whole passage because I want to break it down and

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Speaker 2: show you how it happens. He said, it could be

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Speaker 2: something as small as a word. Now write this down.

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Speaker 2: The closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity.

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Speaker 1: And that goes both ways.

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Speaker 2: The closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity for intimacy. However,

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Speaker 2: the closer the relationship, the greater the opportunity for offense.

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Speaker 2: That's why nobody can make you really mad, like somebody

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Speaker 2: that you really love. Really nobody can hurt you like

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Speaker 2: somebody that you've given your heart to.

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Speaker 1: Nobody.

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Speaker 2: And I've asked the question a lot of times of people,

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Speaker 2: and really in my own mind, I've seen people that

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Speaker 2: were so loyal to each other and if you had

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Speaker 2: asked me ten years ago, who is most likely to

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Speaker 2: ever have kind of an enemy relationship, or who's most

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Speaker 2: likely it could be a divorce, or who's most likely

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Speaker 2: to not.

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Speaker 1: Be speaking to each other? And some of those very

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Speaker 1: same people.

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Speaker 2: Just in the last year of my life, Ethan, I've

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Speaker 2: watched some things happen that surprised me and you kind

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Speaker 2: of every time you see it, you ask the question,

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Speaker 2: how did we get here? You see how big Van

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Speaker 2: was smiling over Stephanie. Now they're going to have a

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Speaker 2: great marriage and all of that, and it's going to

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Speaker 2: be awesome, But you ask the question, how could somebody

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Speaker 2: who had that same hope, that same smile barely stand

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Speaker 2: to be in the room with somebody two kids later.

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Speaker 2: And it happens, And there's all kinds of ways that

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Speaker 2: it happens. I know there's compatibility, and I know that

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Speaker 2: it's not always something that you can fix because it

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Speaker 2: takes one to forgive, but it takes two to be reconciled.

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Speaker 2: And I guess I want you to know that my

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Speaker 2: goal today isn't to so much do an autopsy of

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Speaker 2: anybody's mistakes, but just to show you something that happens

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Speaker 2: It always happens one offence at a time.

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Speaker 1: Yes there are.

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Speaker 2: Betrayals, and yes there's adult tree, and yes there's abuse.

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Speaker 2: I'm not really talking about those big things so much today.

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Speaker 1: As I am what Jesus was talking about.

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Speaker 2: He said, if you get something in your heart against

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Speaker 2: your brother and sister, and then you nurse it and

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Speaker 2: rehearse it long enough, it will literally create a smoldering

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Speaker 2: garbage dump of fire in the very relationship that was

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Speaker 2: once a garden of potential and love.

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Speaker 1: How does this happen? It happens one offence at a time.

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Speaker 2: How did we get here where we're smiling like everything

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Speaker 2: is okay? But deep down in my heart, you know,

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Speaker 2: if we come to church, man, nobody sees this stuff

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Speaker 2: when we come to church, watch this, jesays. In verse

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Speaker 2: twenty three, he says, if you are offering your gift

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Speaker 2: at the altar, and there remember that your brother.

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Speaker 1: Or sister has something against you.

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Speaker 2: Leave your gift there in front of the altar and

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Speaker 2: get it right with the person that is not right

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Speaker 2: with before you sing a song or pray a prayer

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Speaker 2: to try to cover up.

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Speaker 1: The fact that your relationships are under attack.

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Speaker 2: We were singing today in church, this song, this beautiful

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Speaker 2: worship song. Man, you should have seen the people singing,

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Speaker 2: and people had their hands lifted.

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Speaker 1: Mercy's folly.

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Speaker 2: And that's why was coming out of some people's mouths.

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Speaker 1: But if you can see.

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Speaker 2: What's going on in their heart, Jesus as possible for

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Speaker 2: you to be doing something on an outward level and

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Speaker 2: at an inward level you're full of anger and resentment.

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Speaker 1: Mercy is.

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Speaker 4: Fall except on my huh husband. He as.

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Speaker 2: If you could hear what was happening in the hearts

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Speaker 2: of people. How do we get here? Jesus says. It

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Speaker 2: starts small, but one offense at a time. The devil

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Speaker 2: wants to tear dense heart from Stephanie's heart. You know,

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Speaker 2: God takes the two and makes some one. The enemy

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Speaker 2: takes the one and makes them two.

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Speaker 1: How does he do it? One offense at a time?

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Speaker 2: And God knows I need this message, man, because I'm

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Speaker 2: not a perfect husband. I give ninety seven percent of

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Speaker 2: the credit for the happiness that exists in my marriage

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Speaker 2: to my wife. Three percent is me. I'm pretty proud

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Speaker 2: of that three But if you put me in the

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Speaker 2: wrong situation, I can get offended so.

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Speaker 1: Quick, just like on Twitter.

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Speaker 2: There was one woman that went off on me, and

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Speaker 2: I still remember what she said three years later.

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Speaker 1: You know, thousands of people have said nice things to me,

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Speaker 1: but I'm quick to find the offense.

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Speaker 2: We can train ourselves to find the offense and then

355
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Speaker 2: just overreact. Man, it starts off as Raka, you fool.

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Speaker 2: Next thing you know, I'm in living hell and watsch I.

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Speaker 1: Bad at this?

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Speaker 2: Jesus said, it can get so bad if you don't

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Speaker 2: deal with it. If you don't learn how to deal

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Speaker 2: with this Dan, if you don't deal with the little things,

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Speaker 2: little foxes, he says, if you don't settle matters quickly

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Speaker 2: verse twenty five, with your adversary who.

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Speaker 3: Is taking you to According to that confused me because

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Speaker 3: in verse twenty one, we're talking about your brother or sister, Right,

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Speaker 3: we're talking about somebody you're close to.

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Speaker 2: In verse twenty five, we're talking about your adversary. I

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Speaker 2: always assume these are two different people.

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Speaker 1: What if it's not.

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Speaker 2: What if the same person who you called brother and

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Speaker 2: sister in twenty one is the same person who will

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Speaker 2: be your enemy in twenty five.

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Speaker 1: If you don't learn how to deal with offense, it

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Speaker 1: happens you ever thought about that.

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Speaker 2: The person who, he says, the person who doesn't deal

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Speaker 2: with the offense. And it's interesting how he says it.

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Speaker 2: If you don't settle matters quickly, that's so powerful. Saddle

377
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Speaker 2: matters quickly with your adversary who's taking you to court,

378
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Speaker 2: do what you can while you are still together on

379
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Speaker 2: the way, or your adversary may hand you over to

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Speaker 2: the judge, and the judge may hand you over to

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Speaker 2: the officer, and you may be.

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Speaker 1: Thrown into prison.

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Speaker 2: And truly, I tell you, knock it out until you

384
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Speaker 2: paid the last penny, the prison of offense. And it

385
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:43,600
Speaker 2: all started with Roca. It all started with Roca, the

386
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:48,239
Speaker 2: small offense. It all started in the parking lot. I

387
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 2: was backing out and this guy honking his horn at

388
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Speaker 2: me and his pickup truck. Just a couple months ago,

389
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Speaker 2: I took the boys to see that football movie, the

390
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Speaker 2: Christian football movie. Okay, Wood Wood Woodlock Woodlawn. We went

391
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 2: and saw Woodlawn made a deep impression on him. We're

392
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Speaker 2: leaving the movie and and this this guy, he's hollering

393
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Speaker 2: at me because his wife wants my parking spot. The

394
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,480
Speaker 2: problem with his wife wanting my parking spot is she

395
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Speaker 2: is pulled up so close on my parking spot. I

396
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Speaker 2: can't get out to give it to her. And now

397
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Speaker 2: that's somehow my fault to this guy in the pickup truck.

398
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Speaker 2: So he says to me, or offers a course of

399
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Speaker 2: action to.

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Speaker 1: Me, Hey, get out of her way.

401
00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,640
Speaker 2: She's waiting on your spot, and I'm like, And then

402
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 2: I figure out that this is his wife because I'm

403
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,040
Speaker 2: putting it all together, and I rolled down my window

404
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:51,400
Speaker 2: and I says something back to him. No, it wasn't

405
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,639
Speaker 2: any profanity or anything like that, but it was a

406
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Speaker 2: rocket type thing that I said something about his wife's

407
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,359
Speaker 2: driving skills or something, you know, something like that, just

408
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 2: something insinuate.

409
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 1: But then he wants to get out of his truck

410
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Speaker 1: and he's not bigger than me.

411
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,919
Speaker 2: So now I gotta get out of my maximum because

412
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Speaker 2: I got to because my boys are watching this, and

413
00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:21,159
Speaker 2: I need even be a good example that if a

414
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,200
Speaker 2: man gets out of his pickup.

415
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Speaker 1: Truck and challenges you.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't matter whether you have an elevation sticker on

417
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Speaker 2: your car.

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Speaker 1: You gotta handle this. Why are you clapping for me?

419
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,919
Speaker 1: I'm so bewildered.

420
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Speaker 2: And I got out and I said what are we

421
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Speaker 2: gonna do?

422
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Speaker 1: Just a question, just a question. There's just a question.

423
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Speaker 1: And I don't know what happened next.

424
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Speaker 2: I think, to this day, I still don't know, because

425
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 2: his tone changed dramatically. I don't think he was intimidated

426
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Speaker 2: by me. I think he really who I was. I

427
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,040
Speaker 2: think so because it was right here in town. And

428
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Speaker 2: so I think he because I think he put the

429
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Speaker 2: sticker and the all thing together, because all of.

430
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Speaker 1: A sudden he turned real spiritual. He was like, well, God,

431
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Speaker 1: bless you man. We're just all trying to get where

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Speaker 1: we're trying to go. And I was like, yeah, we are.

433
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Speaker 1: Around this time, Graham comes out the car. He's eight,

434
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Speaker 1: you know. He comes over and stands by me, and

435
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 1: he said, you got your boys and I got my wife.

436
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Speaker 2: I says, cool, and we've got over here, and got

437
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Speaker 2: back in the car and I said when Graham got

438
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Speaker 2: in the car, I said, Graham, I said, what were

439
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 2: you gonna do?

440
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:38,200
Speaker 1: And Graham said I.

441
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Speaker 2: Was gonna kick him in the shin if I had to.

442
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:47,919
Speaker 1: And Elijah, my older son, he.

443
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Speaker 2: Speaks up and says, Daddy, a better question is what

444
00:22:51,359 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 2: were you going to do? I said, what ever needed

445
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:05,000
Speaker 2: to be done. Son, I hadn't thought that far about it,

446
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,640
Speaker 2: and he said, well, think about it. I mean, let's

447
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 2: say you'll get in a fight in the parking lot

448
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,280
Speaker 2: of the movie theater.

449
00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 1: Not only are the news.

450
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 2: People going to put you on the news, but they

451
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,959
Speaker 2: might not even we might not even ever see you again.

452
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 2: We're in the back of the car, and maybe they

453
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,959
Speaker 2: leave us, and then maybe you end up in prison,

454
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:25,320
Speaker 2: and maybe we don't have a dad.

455
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:26,399
Speaker 1: Did you think about that?

456
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 2: And I said, that's right, son, I'm giving you an example.

457
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 1: How not to handle a situation. We went and ate

458
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 1: some Mexican food.

459
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 2: And here's why I told you that story. When you

460
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,880
Speaker 2: are in these moments I'm talking about, not with somebody

461
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:55,440
Speaker 2: in parking lot, somebody you love. You're not thinking through

462
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 2: the fact that this is going to end up with

463
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 2: me and you and an attorneys sitting down talking about

464
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,320
Speaker 2: dividing our assets.

465
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 1: That's not how division happens.

466
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:09,920
Speaker 2: Because the enemy's agenda is destruction. His strategy is division.

467
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 1: But his tactic is those little offenses.

468
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,560
Speaker 2: Come come on, Dan and Stephanie, come back, and I

469
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 2: just I need.

470
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: Your help because bring up, bring up my garden. Come on,

471
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:25,480
Speaker 1: it's Dan and Stephanie.

472
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 2: Everybody two years, We're gonna get them to twenty. We're

473
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,120
Speaker 2: gonna get you to twenty. I so appreciate your help.

474
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 2: I'm gonna send I'm gonna send you guys to your

475
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:40,720
Speaker 2: favorite restaurant. What's your favorite restaurant, Stephanie, what's our favorite restaurant?

476
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,840
Speaker 1: I was gonna say Baker's Field, but theF change I

477
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:48,520
Speaker 1: love it too. So here here's a garden. This This

478
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:49,880
Speaker 1: represents the love of.

479
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 2: A relationship and and all the potential of a relationship.

480
00:24:54,480 --> 00:25:01,520
Speaker 2: And this, of course represents the offenses that are going

481
00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 2: to come into your relationship.

482
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: Now you don't have to be married to get a

483
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 1: whole lot out of what I'm saying right now.

484
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 2: This will apply to anybody in your life who is

485
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 2: important to you and show you exactly what the enemy

486
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,520
Speaker 2: will try to do. Like, for instance, I don't know

487
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:16,919
Speaker 2: if Stephanie's a good cook or not.

488
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, good good. And I was talking to

489
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 1: my mom this morning. No, my mom lives here in Charlotte,

490
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,640
Speaker 1: and she reminded me of this story. This is hilarious.

491
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 2: It just shows how offenses can come because the question

492
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 2: isn't our offense is going to come into your relationship.

493
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: That's not the question. They're going to come. They're going

494
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:39,560
Speaker 1: to come. The question is what are you going to

495
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 1: do with them.

496
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:44,000
Speaker 2: That's what determines whether or not you keep a strong

497
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 2: relationship with God, with others, with yourself. So my mom

498
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:54,640
Speaker 2: was telling me they were at my father's mom's house,

499
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:57,959
Speaker 2: so my grandmother my dad's mom's house, for Thanksgiving, and

500
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 2: she made some stuffing, you know that. Yeah, And when

501
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,240
Speaker 2: she and my grandmother made some stuffing.

502
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: And the way.

503
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 2: I understood the story, my dad was sitting there eating

504
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,160
Speaker 2: his mom's stuffing.

505
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 1: And while he's.

506
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:15,880
Speaker 2: Eating the stuffing, he says, trying to give a compliment

507
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 2: to his mom.

508
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: He's like, mmm, Mom.

509
00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:25,720
Speaker 2: Nobody makes stuffing like you. I mean, other people try

510
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 2: to make stuffing, but nobody can make it like you.

511
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: And my mom is thinking.

512
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:38,000
Speaker 2: While he's saying, nobody makes stuffing like you, my mom

513
00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,600
Speaker 2: is thinking, and nobody is going.

514
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 1: To make stuffing for you.

515
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,919
Speaker 2: Accept your mom, So you better invite your mom to

516
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:48,000
Speaker 2: be your cook.

517
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 1: If nobody makes stuffing like her.

518
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 2: And my mom said, I didn't make that man stuffing

519
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 2: on Thanksgiving for the next six years, and.

520
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,679
Speaker 1: I said, can I tell the church. That story is

521
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:02,120
Speaker 1: a good illustration. She said, yes, as long as you.

522
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,960
Speaker 2: Clarify that I really do make better stuffing.

523
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 1: Than your grandmother.

524
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 2: Now I got you holding that because he says this stuff. Oh,

525
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 2: he says these unintentional things, because men are stupid. We

526
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 2: just say stuff. We don't realize what we're saying, and

527
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 2: we just say stuff. And maybe Dan hasn't done it yet.

528
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,920
Speaker 2: To me, he looks like an intelligent man, but he's

529
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 2: gonna say something.

530
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: And it will be unintentional in his mind. He's just

531
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 1: saying it. He's just saying something. Just say it, just

532
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:31,200
Speaker 1: says stuff.

533
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,160
Speaker 2: Or sometimes it's not what they say, it's what they

534
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 2: don't do. It's an unmet expectation. That is the breeding

535
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:44,040
Speaker 2: ground of offenses and relationships. Unmet expectations. And let me

536
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:47,920
Speaker 2: tell you the breeding ground of unmet expectations, unexpressed expectations.

537
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 1: So you got to learn how to talk to people otherwise.

538
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 2: Like let's say, growing up in Stephanie's house, birthdays were

539
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 2: a big deal. But maybe at Dan's house they didn't

540
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 2: make a big deal about birthdays because hey, what did

541
00:27:59,920 --> 00:28:00,320
Speaker 2: you do?

542
00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: You didn't do anything on your birthday.

543
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:05,720
Speaker 2: You were just born so maybe on birthdays at Dan's house,

544
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,640
Speaker 2: nobody celebrates the fact that you just came out into

545
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:11,920
Speaker 2: the world like it was some great achievement. But Stephanie

546
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 2: wakes up and her mom used to make her pancakes

547
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: on her birthday, and her dad had a special song

548
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:16,800
Speaker 2: that he was saying, I don't know I'm making this

549
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,879
Speaker 2: stuff up. I never met Stephanie and Dan before. I

550
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 2: was making a scenario. And so Dan wakes up on

551
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,960
Speaker 2: the birthday and he's going to take her out to

552
00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,159
Speaker 2: pf Change that night because that's her favorite place. But

553
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 2: now it's morning time and it's like seven, and there's

554
00:28:28,359 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 2: no pancakes, and there's no special song and there's no thing.

555
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 1: And so now all of a sudden, it's the first

556
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 1: birthday they spend as a married couple.

557
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 2: And he wakes up and gives her a little kiss

558
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,600
Speaker 2: and goes to work and leaves her with an offense.

559
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,000
Speaker 2: And you're like, well, that's stupid that she shouldn't get

560
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 2: so offended over that. Well, you get offended over some

561
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 2: stuff too, some little things, and you hold it and

562
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 2: it won't just be you offending her. Let's say maybe

563
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 2: let's say you're working really hard this used to happen

564
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:58,880
Speaker 2: in me and Holly's marriage.

565
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: This is an example. I did not ask for permission

566
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:02,400
Speaker 1: to share it.

567
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 2: When I discovered that her recreational preference was shopping.

568
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,800
Speaker 1: And yeah, yeah, so she said me too, So you

569
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: come home on Saturday.

570
00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 2: Holly would come home on Saturday and she would be

571
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 2: energized and she would have bags all.

572
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 1: Over her arms.

573
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 2: But to me, those bags didn't look like shopping bags.

574
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 1: Those bags looked like grenades to be launched into our

575
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: financial picture. Here, I am trying to work.

576
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:36,000
Speaker 2: She walking in with all these bags looking out, and

577
00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 2: then she has the nerve to say, don't worry, because

578
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:45,480
Speaker 2: I got it on. And this is what the devil

579
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 2: wants all right.

580
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 1: Now, Dan is trying to fall asleep on Saturday night.

581
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,200
Speaker 2: And again I'm just making this up, but she handed

582
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,240
Speaker 2: you this official.

583
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 1: One't trying to offend you. She was just shopping. It

584
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:54,480
Speaker 1: was just a thing.

585
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:56,720
Speaker 2: But Dan is working, and doesn't she see how hard

586
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 2: I'm working? And how does she expect us to get

587
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,800
Speaker 2: ahead financially? Like the last thing she needs is another

588
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,120
Speaker 2: pair of shoes, and the.

589
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 1: Enemy is like, yeah, yeah, that's good, Dan, that's good.

590
00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:08,200
Speaker 1: She doesn't care about you. She doesn't respect you.

591
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 2: She doesn't she doesn't appreciate all that you're doing to

592
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 2: provide for her.

593
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: She's working against you. It's just a little offense.

594
00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:24,800
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, Stephanie is still stuck on her birthday. It was

595
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 2: four months ago. She's still mad about the pancakes.

596
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:30,480
Speaker 1: Come here, Stephanie, and.

597
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 2: She's over here, and she's still she's still nursing that

598
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 2: that thing about the birthday and see us every time

599
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:44,520
Speaker 2: she thinks about it, just a little deeper. She should

600
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: drive it down in there with every thought and reliving

601
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,480
Speaker 2: it and thinking about what he said and what she

602
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,840
Speaker 2: did and what they didn't say. He didn't pay attention

603
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 2: to me, I don't appreciate me, and drives it down deeper.

604
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,880
Speaker 2: And marriage is gonna give you because it's the most

605
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 2: intimate relationship, and the more intimate the relationship, the more infinite.

606
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 1: The potential for offense.

607
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 2: And so you're gonna have like a million offenses, little offenses,

608
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 2: and if you don't learn how to deal with them,

609
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 2: because sometimes the thing that you liked about her when

610
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 2: you were dating will drive you crazy now that you

611
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:32,520
Speaker 2: have to wake up with it every day.

612
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 1: No offense to Stephanie. I'm sure she's wonderful. You're like, oh,

613
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 1: why would you say that about her? It's true about everybody.

614
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:39,960
Speaker 1: Here's how the country preachers had it.

615
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 2: He said, before marriage, opposites tracked, after marriage opposite attack.

616
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 2: Hey man, that's how the country preacher said it. And

617
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 2: so I know it's kind of heavy. That's how offenses are.

618
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 2: But it's not all at once, it's just one at

619
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 2: a time. Let's say that before marriage you liked her

620
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:08,920
Speaker 2: because she is mysterious and quiet, and that draws you

621
00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: to her. But then in marriage it can go this

622
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 2: way to where it was really attractive that she was

623
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,959
Speaker 2: quiet and mysterious when you were dating her.

624
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:22,080
Speaker 1: But now in marriage she won't ever talk, and it's

625
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: like no, but yeah, but no.

626
00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:27,760
Speaker 2: But just for example, it's like, why won't you tell

627
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 2: me what's on your mind?

628
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 1: But that's why you liked her.

629
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,480
Speaker 2: And before you married him, he was the life of

630
00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 2: the party, and he walked in and he just talked.

631
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: And lit up the room. And now why won't he

632
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: ever shut up? Dan? Will not shut up? Shut up Dan?

633
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,800
Speaker 2: And so what actually was part of building the foundation

634
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 2: of the relationship.

635
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: Now it's a fence and it happens.

636
00:32:54,280 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 2: A million different ways in the enemy, all kinds of opportunities,

637
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 2: and you don't realize what's happening because it's just one

638
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 2: little conversation after another. You know, it's just dressing on Thanksgiving.

639
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, a big thing.

640
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 2: It's just me trying to tell Holly how to drive

641
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:17,600
Speaker 2: and her saying, well, then why don't.

642
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:19,440
Speaker 1: You drive if you do such a good driver.

643
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 2: And we have a lot of dysfunction in our relationship

644
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: over what happens in the car because I can't find

645
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 2: my way places and she can't drive. So she has

646
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 2: a great sense of direction, but horrible driving skills.

647
00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: I'm a great driver with no sense of direction.

648
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 2: So the other night, we're driving coming from a movie

649
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,760
Speaker 2: as a matter of fact, not the Christian football movie,

650
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,280
Speaker 2: but we're coming back and she almost got us killed.

651
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: And I was mad because to me, she wasn't paying attention.

652
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 2: And we talked about that later and she was like, well,

653
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:03,440
Speaker 2: you know, if you want to be in control of how.

654
00:34:03,360 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 1: The car works, there's a different seat you can sit in.

655
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:20,359
Speaker 5: Shut up, lock up, ruck off.

656
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 2: H that's the biggest problem you have. No, it's not

657
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 2: the biggest problem we have.

658
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: It's just the one I'm.

659
00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 2: Gonna tell you about. It's none of your business or

660
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 2: a problem here. But see offense by offense. If we

661
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:34,479
Speaker 2: don't learn what to do about this, the enemy would

662
00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 2: love just one conversation after another. You don't make a

663
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,120
Speaker 2: decision to walk away from a relationship that you love.

664
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,879
Speaker 2: You don't see them becoming your enemy. In Matthew five

665
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 2: twenty five, it's just one unacknowledged effort after another, and

666
00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 2: you start thinking, well, I'm the only one who ever

667
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 2: takes out the trash around here.

668
00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:04,800
Speaker 1: I guess I'll do it, do it again like always.

669
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 2: No, it's good, I got it, I got.

670
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 1: It's not a problem. I'm would love.

671
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 2: To get up with the kid again in the middle something.

672
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:21,239
Speaker 1: I know, it's fine, I know you gotta work. And

673
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: now what started as just a small offense, Now what

674
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: God joined together separated because of offense. And now the

675
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:52,960
Speaker 1: crazy thing is Jesus said, if you.

676
00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,919
Speaker 2: Let it get to this point, if you live your

677
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 2: relational life on the basis of well, I'm not apologizing first,

678
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:03,319
Speaker 2: apology us first last time. If you don't learn how

679
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,800
Speaker 2: to deal with these things, you find yourself in prison.

680
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 2: It's not them that you imprison. It's you, Hey, Dan,

681
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:22,080
Speaker 2: Why don't we talk anymore? Where did the love go?

682
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,360
Speaker 2: Then we haven't been the PF change in three years?

683
00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 2: Then you built a fence. The enemies agenda is destruction.

684
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,239
Speaker 2: His strategy is the.

685
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 1: Vision, and his tactic is offense.

686
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: Thankfully, God has given us another way to deal with offense.

687
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 2: If only we could find an example of somebody who

688
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 2: had every right to be offended, of somebody who had

689
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:07,520
Speaker 2: every right to hold it against us, of.

690
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: Somebody who had every right to stand at a distance,

691
00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:23,680
Speaker 1: but opened his arms and said, this is the way

692
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:24,680
Speaker 1: of relationship.

693
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:32,279
Speaker 2: And the Lord gave me a real specific word for

694
00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:36,000
Speaker 2: somebody who needs reconciliation in your relationship.

695
00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:38,439
Speaker 1: It's very simple what they have to do.

696
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,640
Speaker 2: If they're gonna stay like they started, if we're gonna

697
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:45,080
Speaker 2: get back to where we were, we're gonna have to learn.

698
00:37:45,239 --> 00:37:47,400
Speaker 1: Watch this. This is very this is very profound.

699
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 2: It's deep. You're gonna miss it. This is what you're

700
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:53,200
Speaker 2: gonna have to learn. You got to learn to drop it.

701
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 2: You got to learn to drop it. And I don't

702
00:37:58,760 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 2: mean suppress it. I don't mean you don't deal with

703
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 2: things after they happen, but after you've had the conversation, Dan,

704
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,240
Speaker 2: I like pancakes on my birthday.

705
00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: Then drop it. Touch somebody say drop it?

706
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,600
Speaker 2: I mean the moment, the offense, because you can't always

707
00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 2: control what's handed to you, but you can control what

708
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 2: you do with this.

709
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: So what are you gonna do with the offense?

710
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:24,239
Speaker 2: Come on, Dan, you can't choose anybody else's actions. The

711
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:26,400
Speaker 2: enemy wants you to drive it down deep.

712
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:28,239
Speaker 1: You know. He wants you to ah.

713
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,560
Speaker 2: Think about it and miss all the reasons that the

714
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,000
Speaker 2: person has worked their way into your life, and miss

715
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 2: all the things they've done for you, and he wants

716
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 2: to drive it. But God says, drop it. I believe

717
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,160
Speaker 2: that there are some things that we need to drop tonight.

718
00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 2: In fact, Jesus said this is so important that if

719
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 2: you are in church at the altar offering a gift

720
00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 2: and a sacrifice, but the primary relationships in your life

721
00:38:54,840 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 2: are dysfunctional and need reconciliation, you can't even properly connect

722
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:01,799
Speaker 2: with God unless you.

723
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: Drop it.

724
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:10,279
Speaker 2: Do it again, Dan, drop it? Every time they do it.

725
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 2: I want you to reinforce it. One two three, drop it.

726
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:16,439
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do when they when they don't

727
00:39:16,640 --> 00:39:17,320
Speaker 2: acknowledge you?

728
00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: When they don't notice you. What are you gonna do?

729
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 2: What are you going to do when they when they

730
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 2: are too busy to show you the love and affection,

731
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,799
Speaker 2: but you know that they're trying as hard as they

732
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 2: can to you gotta. I'm telling you, being married, being

733
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:36,680
Speaker 2: in a close relationship is about not how quickly you

734
00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 2: can get offended, but how quickly.

735
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: You can get over it. And I want everyone to stand.

736
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 2: At every location because I want to pray for some people.

737
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,400
Speaker 1: Thank you, guys, would you give them some love? That

738
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 1: was amazing?

739
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 2: They're walking off hand in hand. I asked the Lord

740
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:14,239
Speaker 2: to help me in this message in a way. He said,

741
00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 2: you need to pray for people for not what they're

742
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 2: going to experience while they're in the church, but what's

743
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:23,319
Speaker 2: going to happen when they leave, Because you know, you

744
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 2: can offer a gift at the altar and feel pretty

745
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,839
Speaker 2: good about it, but what's happening back at home can

746
00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:33,320
Speaker 2: be a living hell. And when I read those words

747
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 2: of Jesus that he said that when you don't deal

748
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,200
Speaker 2: with the offenses, and when you don't drop the offenses,

749
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,399
Speaker 2: when you allow it to become resentment in your life,

750
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,960
Speaker 2: because hey, sometimes reconciliation isn't possible.

751
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 1: I mean, sometimes the person is dead, that you've held

752
00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: the offense again. Sometimes the person isn't willing, but release,

753
00:40:57,920 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: release is always available. Release starts in your heart.

754
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:08,600
Speaker 2: Smeed said that forgiveness is setting a prisoner free and

755
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 2: finding out the prisoner was you. So I believe God

756
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:23,799
Speaker 2: wants to release some people today.

757
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:25,400
Speaker 1: Release you from some things you've been.

758
00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 2: Holding on to, some things that have been keeping you

759
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 2: at a distance, some things that have been keeping you divided,

760
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 2: And that in these closing moments of our time together today,

761
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 2: there are some things, by the power of the Cross

762
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,440
Speaker 2: of Jesus Christ, that God is going to bring to mind,

763
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:52,760
Speaker 2: some offenses that you've been building in some very important relationships,

764
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 2: and that God is going to begin to demolish your

765
00:41:55,960 --> 00:42:00,160
Speaker 2: excuses and break down your pride and your walls today,

766
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:05,239
Speaker 2: and that we're going to receive hundreds of testimonies from

767
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:09,200
Speaker 2: the word that went forth today of a process of

768
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:14,680
Speaker 2: reconciliation and healing that began between husbands and wives, between

769
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 2: parents and children, between friends that haven't spoken.

770
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 1: God says, drop it, man.

771
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,520
Speaker 2: I feel the spirit of Snoop coming on me right now,

772
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:26,800
Speaker 2: and I want.

773
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 1: To say drop it like this hot.

774
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,719
Speaker 2: Come on, you gotta drop it while you can't. He said,

775
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 2: do it while you're still on the way, or this.

776
00:42:37,400 --> 00:42:38,880
Speaker 1: Won't end well with you.

777
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 2: Unchecked resentment leads to regret, unbelievable regret, and you don't

778
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 2: want that for your life. So, with everyone standing today,

779
00:42:52,040 --> 00:42:55,440
Speaker 2: I want to ask you a question. If God dropped

780
00:42:55,440 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 2: the charges against you, is what offense is there in

781
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,960
Speaker 2: the universe that you can't let go of.

782
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,399
Speaker 1: It's not just flowing to me. The forgiveness of God

783
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 1: flows through me.

784
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:18,320
Speaker 2: And because I'm forgiven, I can forgive now before I pray.

785
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that you tolerate abuse. I'm not saying

786
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:28,920
Speaker 2: any of that. Here's what I'm saying. Offense is an event.

787
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:34,400
Speaker 2: Offended is a decision.

788
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:40,840
Speaker 1: Again.

789
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:45,479
Speaker 2: Offense is an event they hurt me. Offense is an event.

790
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,800
Speaker 2: We need to work through this. But to live offended

791
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 2: as a believer in Jesus Christ, and to stay that

792
00:43:53,239 --> 00:43:58,439
Speaker 2: way and to live in that place, denies the very

793
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 2: nature of the salvation.

794
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: That you claim to have received.

795
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:09,239
Speaker 2: So we want to make some decisions today. If you

796
00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:11,360
Speaker 2: feel comfortable, would you just lift your hands as a

797
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 2: sign of release. Nobody's looking at you. Don't even worry

798
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: about the crowd. Right now, Father, in this moment, we

799
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,000
Speaker 2: come before you and.

800
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:22,640
Speaker 1: We just release, Release. Release.

801
00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 2: First of all, we acknowledge our own parts. Sometimes we

802
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:28,760
Speaker 2: are so quick to see the ways we've been offended,

803
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:30,400
Speaker 2: and we miss the ways that we've offended.

804
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 1: So we open our hearts.

805
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 2: To you, and we thank you for grace, and we

806
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,440
Speaker 2: thank you for mercy, and we lift our hands in

807
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:39,520
Speaker 2: your presence because we want to be free. We lift

808
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 2: our hands in your presence because we don't want to

809
00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 2: withhold anything, and we want to be right. And so

810
00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 2: we offer our gift on the altar. But God, we ask,

811
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 2: would you.

812
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 1: Do a work in us.

813
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,919
Speaker 2: Some of us have some stuff happening back at home

814
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 2: and in our hearts and then our relationships that is

815
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 2: killing our joy and killing our peace. So we've come

816
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:01,480
Speaker 2: into your presence not just to sing a song or

817
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 2: to hear a sermon, but to be changed at our core,

818
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:06,200
Speaker 2: to be changed.

819
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 1: And we've got some things we need to drop.

820
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,399
Speaker 2: With your hands still lifted in the air, I want

821
00:45:13,440 --> 00:45:15,280
Speaker 2: you to ask God in your heart, is there anything

822
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 2: I need to drop? Is there something I need to drop?

823
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 2: Is it a decision I need to make in my

824
00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 2: heart to never bring it up again. Is it a

825
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:26,439
Speaker 2: conversation I need to have to work through it? What

826
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:34,759
Speaker 2: do I need to drop? Keep your hands lifted. You

827
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 2: feel how the blood is flowing out of.

828
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:39,280
Speaker 1: Your fingers in your hands.

829
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,600
Speaker 2: That's what it feels like when you hold on to stuff,

830
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 2: when you hold on to offensis, when you hold on

831
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:51,680
Speaker 2: to what happened years ago. But if you would drop it,

832
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 2: drop it, you feel that come all over your body

833
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:04,040
Speaker 2: when you finally decided to drop it. I declare that

834
00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 2: God is going to set some captives free today, that

835
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 2: you are no longer going to be divided, dying behind offenses,

836
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:22,360
Speaker 2: isolated behind offenses. And in the name of Jesus, I

837
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:29,400
Speaker 2: declare release to the prisoners. I prayed that this message

838
00:46:29,440 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 2: would stay.

839
00:46:30,239 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 1: With you, that it would haunt you, that.

840
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 2: You would see Dan and Stephanie dropping those planks on

841
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 2: the stage until you come out from behind every offense

842
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 2: that has kept you in prison. I want to pray

843
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 2: before I walk off stage, for people who need a

844
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 2: right relationship with God, would you buy your head and

845
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 2: close your eyes again, because there is someone here who

846
00:46:55,600 --> 00:47:00,960
Speaker 2: doesn't have that relationship right. What calls your name, and

847
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 2: when he speaks to your heart, it's not a good

848
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 2: thing to wait around. You want to get right now.

849
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,720
Speaker 2: You want to receive grace now, and with your heads bout.

850
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:13,160
Speaker 1: And eyes closed.

851
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 2: At every campus, I would love to lead you in

852
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 2: a prayer to let you know that everything that needs

853
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 2: to be done for you to be a child of

854
00:47:20,520 --> 00:47:23,239
Speaker 2: God has already been done. Everything that needs to be

855
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:25,839
Speaker 2: done for you to be forgiven has already been done.

856
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,399
Speaker 2: There's nothing you need to earn, there's nothing you need

857
00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 2: to do. God is the one who changes lives today.

858
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 2: If you'll reach out for his grace, you will receive it.

859
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 2: So with your head's bout and your eyes closed, we're

860
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 2: going to pray as a church family out loud for

861
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 2: those who.

862
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:41,319
Speaker 1: Are coming to God or coming back to God.

863
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:45,319
Speaker 2: Let's pray together, Church, Heavenly Father, I confess that I'm

864
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: a sinner and I need a savior. And today I

865
00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:55,840
Speaker 2: declare that Jesus Christ is my savior.

866
00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:57,719
Speaker 1: And my Lord.

867
00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 2: I believe that Jesus Christ died to forgive my sin,

868
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 2: rose to give me life.

869
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:09,600
Speaker 1: And right now, right now, right now.

870
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:13,920
Speaker 2: I receive this new life. This is my new beginning.

871
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,920
Speaker 2: I am a follower of Christ, I will never be

872
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 2: the same. With your heads about an ice close on

873
00:48:21,680 --> 00:48:23,720
Speaker 2: the count of three. If you just prayed that prayer,

874
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 2: shoot your hand in the air.

875
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:25,760
Speaker 1: Don't be ashamed.

876
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,560
Speaker 2: Let's celebrate one, two, three, Shoot.

877
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: Them up right now, right now, right now. God bless you,

878
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 1: God bless you. Love every little fiction.

879
00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 6: Come on, Church, Come on, chart, come most celebrate these stignis.

880
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:45,360
Speaker 6: Celebrate these new lives, Celebrate these new beginnings.

881
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:50,239
Speaker 1: Come on, celebrate the marcy of God. I'll be their rest.

882
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 2: Let your hand.

883
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:58,560
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us.

884
00:48:58,880 --> 00:49:01,319
Speaker 2: Special things to those of you who give generously to

885
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:04,880
Speaker 2: this ministry. Is because of you that this ministry is possible.

886
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Speaker 2: You can click the link in the description to give now,

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Speaker 2: or visit Elevationchurch dot org slash podcast for more information

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Speaker 2: and if you enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe.

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Speaker 1: You can share it with your friends.

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Speaker 2: You can click the share button, take a screenshot and

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Speaker 2: share it on your social stories and tag us at

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Speaker 2: Elevation Church.

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Speaker 1: Thanks again for listening. God bless you.