Speaker 1: You might as well go get another hobby, go do
Speaker 1: something else, go find another girl. All those things are
Speaker 1: easier than what you're saying, because what you're saying is impossible. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: welcome to the podcast, Episode one forty six. Thank you
Speaker 1: for hanging with me, or being new, or staying late
Speaker 1: or repeating after so many times you've heard it, all
Speaker 1: of you, guys, Thank you for coming wherever you came from,
Speaker 1: however you found it. I answer your questions, and I
Speaker 1: love doing this. We put this out every single Monday.
Speaker 1: We've done it a lot of Mondays, and we've answered
Speaker 1: a lot of questions. And I encourage you to email
Speaker 1: me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. If you have
Speaker 1: a question, that's Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll
Speaker 1: get to it. We'll walk through it casually. It could
Speaker 1: be about any subject and I'll answer it like we're
Speaker 1: old friends, and I'll answer it like you a friend.
Speaker 1: And if any friend had a question for me about life,
Speaker 1: I'm going to walk through it in long term podcast
Speaker 1: form and walk through it. I have no notes with me,
Speaker 1: I have nothing to look at. Just good old fashioned friends.
Speaker 1: That's what we are. So the first question I have here.
Speaker 1: The subject line says, is morally good enough? Heygre and
Speaker 1: your mo name is Laura. I'm twenty nine years old
Speaker 1: from Illinois. My husband is an all around great guy.
Speaker 1: He's kind to everyone, a great father and husband. God's
Speaker 1: moral law is clearly written on his heart. But he
Speaker 1: cannot surrender to Jesus and fully believe in him. I
Speaker 1: pray the every day that he will. He thinks that
Speaker 1: if he is to be judged by him when they die,
Speaker 1: and if God is merciful, he wouldn't throw him in
Speaker 1: hell because of his life on earth. He is so
Speaker 1: full of love talking about God. So my main question
Speaker 1: here is can someone be saved after they die and
Speaker 1: meet with their creator and believe? Is there any biblical
Speaker 1: evidence you could give me to either confirm or deny?
Speaker 1: Is he cursed with abundance? Do you think that's possible?
Speaker 1: I am a new creation in God and I am
Speaker 1: the spiritual leader of our family, leading by actions, going
Speaker 1: to church, reading my Bible submitting. I know I cannot
Speaker 1: make him believe. Thank you so much for reading my question.
Speaker 1: And if I don't hear back from you, I surely
Speaker 1: will seek wise counsel. I have never missed a podcast
Speaker 1: or an episode of the smiss I hope to see
Speaker 1: you in concert someday, Laura. Laura, thank you so much
Speaker 1: for the email, and thank you for the kind words
Speaker 1: and for listening to the podcast and watching the Smiths.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you so much. And it's such a great question. It's,
Speaker 1: in fact, I think, the most important question anyone could ask,
Speaker 1: and so I'm happy to answer it. And I'm sorry
Speaker 1: that you're in this predicament. But I want to thank
Speaker 1: you for your faithfulness because you sound like just an
Speaker 1: incredible woman and you seem to be pretty knowledgeable at
Speaker 1: only twenty nine years old. Shout out to one of
Speaker 1: my favorite stats, Illinois as well. So let's dive into this.
Speaker 1: The answer to your question can someone be saved after
Speaker 1: they died and meet with the creator and believe? So
Speaker 1: basically what you're saying is can you go to heaven
Speaker 1: without believing in Jesus? And that is that is the question,
Speaker 1: and the answer is a resounding no, you cannot. And
Speaker 1: I'm not speaking on my opinion here. This is not
Speaker 1: the Granger Smith podcast opinion show. This is not what
Speaker 1: I feel or what I hope or what I learned
Speaker 1: from my parents growing up, or what some pastor taught
Speaker 1: me in church. It's none of that. What I'm telling
Speaker 1: you is straight from the Bible, over and over and
Speaker 1: over again. Jesus said, I am the Way, the truth,
Speaker 1: and the life. No one comes to the Father but
Speaker 1: by me. There are many ways, and many scriptures and
Speaker 1: many verses you could find that He is the only way. Now,
Speaker 1: some of you listening might think, well, that's not very
Speaker 1: loving of you to force your opinion on me, or
Speaker 1: to force this this idea on me. So then I
Speaker 1: would ask you, is it loving if I know from
Speaker 1: the Bible, which we have so much evidence to say
Speaker 1: that the Bible is true and we could back that
Speaker 1: up a million different ways. So if I'm reading the
Speaker 1: Bible and I tell you what it says that you
Speaker 1: will not make it. You will not make it to
Speaker 1: Heaven without faith in Jesus. If I tell you that
Speaker 1: after I read it, is it loving for me to
Speaker 1: tell you that? Or is it more loving for me
Speaker 1: to just hide that information from you that after I've
Speaker 1: clearly read it and let you off on your own,
Speaker 1: Because I don't want to intrude in your life and
Speaker 1: I don't want to force my opinions on you. So
Speaker 1: which version is more loving? If that's what I read,
Speaker 1: and that's what I believe, I think everyone would agree
Speaker 1: it is much more loving of me to tell the
Speaker 1: truth that I've read through the Bible. This is not
Speaker 1: my truth. This is not something that I just came
Speaker 1: up with. Like I said, it's not something I grew
Speaker 1: up with. And now that's how I think. It's something
Speaker 1: we read in the truth of the Bible, which is
Speaker 1: the truth. Jesus says, I am the truth. Not your
Speaker 1: truth or my truth, or world truth, or political truth
Speaker 1: or social truth. I am the truth. Okay. So he
Speaker 1: has said that, and he has been very clear about that.
Speaker 1: And then also we could see stuff like Ephesians two
Speaker 1: and Ephesians too. It'll say, for by grace you have
Speaker 1: been saved through faith. It is not your own doing.
Speaker 1: It is the gift of God, not a result of work,
Speaker 1: so that no man can boast, For we are His workmanship,
Speaker 1: created in Jesus Christ for good works which God has
Speaker 1: prepared before that we should walk in them. That's Ephesians
Speaker 1: two eight through ten. So what this is saying is
Speaker 1: and this is to your husband's idea about works, because
Speaker 1: because James says in the Bible that faith without works
Speaker 1: is dead. So what he's saying is, if you have
Speaker 1: true faith, then you will be able to see the
Speaker 1: fruits of that faith through your works. But works are secondary.
Speaker 1: Works are the result of the faith first. And guess
Speaker 1: what the faith is a gift. That's what Ephesians two says.
Speaker 1: It is a gift of God. For by grace you
Speaker 1: have been saved through faith in Jesus. And this is
Speaker 1: not your own doing. It is the gift of God,
Speaker 1: not a result of work. So that no man may boast,
Speaker 1: because if you get to heaven, you've done a bunch
Speaker 1: of good works, and you go I didn't believe in Jesus,
Speaker 1: But I look at all the good works that I did,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna start feeling all uppity about it like
Speaker 1: you did it, and God's gonna say, get out of here.
Speaker 1: That is clearly not what I said. I said, surrender,
Speaker 1: have faith in myself. So then you could say, how
Speaker 1: could a loving God reject people because they didn't love
Speaker 1: his son? And my response to that would be, our
Speaker 1: loving God gave us an opportunity through his son and
Speaker 1: sent his son, and those that have faith in him
Speaker 1: and love him, would be saved. Now he's not going
Speaker 1: to save the people that reject his son. God was
Speaker 1: gracious enough to send his son to be persecuted and
Speaker 1: die on a cross and live a perfect life as
Speaker 1: an example for us, because the law which he abolished
Speaker 1: was a good law. But we couldn't do it. We
Speaker 1: couldn't live up to it. We couldn't live up to
Speaker 1: the ten commandments. Everyone listening hasn't You can't. You've all
Speaker 1: told a lie in your life. Sometime, you've all stole
Speaker 1: something in your life. At some time, you've all looked
Speaker 1: at a woman with lust in your life. At some time,
Speaker 1: you've broken the law. It couldn't be done. He had
Speaker 1: to send his perfect son as an example for us,
Speaker 1: so that he could be the substitute for us and
Speaker 1: our sin, so that when God looks at us, he
Speaker 1: sees his son dwelling in us. That's the whole idea
Speaker 1: of an atonement. There is no other way. Your husband
Speaker 1: is guilty because he also knows. He knows he's been
Speaker 1: given this. Now now you're thinking, well, what do I
Speaker 1: do well. The Bible also says that the Gospel is
Speaker 1: the power of God for salvation in Romans too, So
Speaker 1: our faith comes from that gift of faith comes from
Speaker 1: hearing the word. So you have to preach it to him.
Speaker 1: You have to preach the gospel what I've just told you.
Speaker 1: Jesus died on the cross as a substitute for our sins.
Speaker 1: Believe in that, repent, turn to him and you'll be saved.
Speaker 1: That's the gospel. So in hearing that, it activates. It activates.
Speaker 1: Not everyone, but those that are meant to be activated
Speaker 1: will be activated upon hearing that word. Maybe not right
Speaker 1: off the bat, like, maybe not an instant thing. It
Speaker 1: might be years, but that's the seed that's planted. So
Speaker 1: you have to just tell him the gospel. You can't
Speaker 1: convince him. You can't convince him with nice, eloquent words.
Speaker 1: It's just the gospel. That's all you could do. Love him,
Speaker 1: pour into him, show him the life that you live
Speaker 1: now because you're so different with this grace. That's all
Speaker 1: you could do. But there is no other way. Next
Speaker 1: question subde lines just says. Question says, Heygriner, have been
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast for a while. I had a
Speaker 1: question in my own. I'm seventeen. I started going to
Speaker 1: church by myself. Soon after I turned sixteen, I found
Speaker 1: the Lord and got baptized a few months ago. Now,
Speaker 1: my parents are telling me they don't want me to
Speaker 1: go to church because I got in trouble at home,
Speaker 1: and they know that this is something I enjoy. I
Speaker 1: really love going to church and all the people there,
Speaker 1: and I don't know how to explain it to them
Speaker 1: how important, how important it is to me. Any advice
Speaker 1: would be greatly appreciated. A question comes from a guy
Speaker 1: named Jude seventeen and there's a lot of problems in
Speaker 1: this email. Thank you for listening, buddy, and thank you
Speaker 1: for emailing in. And I'll get right to it. First,
Speaker 1: let me go to your question when you said, when
Speaker 1: you're talking about the people you love at church, and
Speaker 1: you said, I don't know how to explain to them
Speaker 1: how important it is to me. Okay, you're talking about
Speaker 1: your parents. Well that's kind of a relevant right now,
Speaker 1: because what they're doing is they're they're punishing you. They're
Speaker 1: disciplining you for something you did wrong. So let's go
Speaker 1: back to that. What did you do wrong? Like at
Speaker 1: some point you're still living in the under the roof
Speaker 1: of your parents and the Bible says, as you know,
Speaker 1: you've got to obey your parents. So by disobeying your
Speaker 1: parents and do something wrong, they're hitting you with the punishment.
Speaker 1: They don't understand exactly what this kind of punishment is,
Speaker 1: but it really doesn't matter. They're taking away something you love.
Speaker 1: And so what do you do? Obey them, honor them.
Speaker 1: They you watch church online, you could talk to your people,
Speaker 1: your friends and just say, hey, guys, I screwed up.
Speaker 1: I messed up. My parents aren't going to let me
Speaker 1: go to church for the next three or four weeks.
Speaker 1: Surely anybody would understand that. But this is not something
Speaker 1: to rebel and go No, I'm going to church because
Speaker 1: I believe in God and I need to be in church,
Speaker 1: and I have all my friends there. So because you
Speaker 1: see what you're doing, then you're contradicting the Bible itself
Speaker 1: by disobeying your parents and not honoring them so that
Speaker 1: you can go to church. That doesn't work that way,
Speaker 1: So honor them, work on the behavior. Whatever you did wrong,
Speaker 1: work on that, and guess what. Another year you're eighteen,
Speaker 1: you're going to hit a ride a passage. Maybe you'll
Speaker 1: be out of the house by then. Hopefully you will.
Speaker 1: I always preach you get out of the house and
Speaker 1: then you could do whatever you want and hopefully you
Speaker 1: won't mess up. Thanks from the email brother. Last question,
Speaker 1: subject line says the Army in marriage. Hey grangerom getting
Speaker 1: married soon to my best friend. We're beyond excited. He's
Speaker 1: getting deployed overseas next year with the military. We've been
Speaker 1: separated before due to trainings and at one point I
Speaker 1: didn't hear from him for two months. However, this time
Speaker 1: it seems different. We will be married and he'll be
Speaker 1: gone for a year with a large amount of time difference.
Speaker 1: I always see your post on Instagram about the military
Speaker 1: in our country makes me happy knowing that someone is
Speaker 1: as famous as you still supports the military. Was just
Speaker 1: hoping for some encouragement when it comes to being a
Speaker 1: newly wet and being separated. I love the Lord and
Speaker 1: trust that he has helped me through previous trainings and separations.
Speaker 1: I know he's going to help me through this deployment.
Speaker 1: Thanks in advance, Madison. This question comes from Madison. Thank
Speaker 1: you for your service, Madison, and you're soon to be
Speaker 1: husband as well. I feel for you and this is
Speaker 1: a tough situation. It's a place to be, and the
Speaker 1: statistics show that you're gonna this is not going to work.
Speaker 1: Statistics will tell you that your marriage will fail because
Speaker 1: your husband's on a year long deployment. So know that
Speaker 1: and beat the statistic. Don't be that statistic. Beat it.
Speaker 1: Beat that statistic. Okay. Lower your expectations of what you're
Speaker 1: going to need from him over this next year. And
Speaker 1: I know that's difficult. I know that's difficult. But for instance,
Speaker 1: if you don't hear from him for two weeks and
Speaker 1: then you finally do and you're so excited to hear
Speaker 1: from them, and you've just been dying to hear from him,
Speaker 1: and you get just a quick email, lower your expectations
Speaker 1: of what you're expecting. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean he wants to come home and get
Speaker 1: a divorce, or he's found somebody new, or he's over it.
Speaker 1: Avoid those thoughts because those are just feelings that are
Speaker 1: lying to you. Just have grace for him. He's doing
Speaker 1: something that none of us can understand. He's overseas, he's
Speaker 1: seeing things that we can understand, and on the same ticket,
Speaker 1: you're doing things that he can't understand as well. You're
Speaker 1: home waiting for a husband for a year. He can't
Speaker 1: understand that either, so you both have to have grace
Speaker 1: for each other. But I would say, since you can't
Speaker 1: control him, focus on yourself. Go into this going. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna make it for twelve months, and I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 1: not going to expect a whole lot from him. I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna expect a lot emotionally and not expecting long
Speaker 1: phone calls and long emails. Then if you get it, great,
Speaker 1: it exceeds your expectations. But don't start nagging, and don't
Speaker 1: start worrying and getting letting loneliness drive you crazy. Lean
Speaker 1: into your friends, get a couple new hobbies. I would
Speaker 1: suggest writing a letter to your husband every single day.
Speaker 1: That would be my challenge to you, three hundred and
Speaker 1: sixty five days worth of letters to your husband. These
Speaker 1: aren't emails or letters that you physically send. You're gonna
Speaker 1: keep them at home, physically, write them a pen and
Speaker 1: a paper and just write them. Tell them about your day,
Speaker 1: tell them about how much you miss them, how much
Speaker 1: you love them, Tell him how committed you are to
Speaker 1: this marriage. Tell him, tell him that nothing is going
Speaker 1: to separate you too, nothing and talk about the season's
Speaker 1: changing and new friends that you meet and new hobbies
Speaker 1: that you're trying, and pour it out onto these papers.
Speaker 1: And when he gets home, give him the gift of
Speaker 1: three hundred and sixty five letters of love and commitment.
Speaker 1: That's going to keep your brain thinking about him and
Speaker 1: focused on the mission at hand, because you are on
Speaker 1: a mission, Madison. This is the way that you're serving
Speaker 1: your country and we are all in gratitude to you
Speaker 1: for that. Let's hit another one here. Subjectline says, remain
Speaker 1: anonymous God taking away something good. Hey, Grangeer Love the podcast.
Speaker 1: My story is short. My girlfriend and I broke up recently.
Speaker 1: She's twenty one, I'm twenty four. We're both firm believers
Speaker 1: in Christ and that God has had a foundation of
Speaker 1: our relationship. We both prayed over it and had peace
Speaker 1: when we started dating and believe for greater things to come.
Speaker 1: But when we broke up, she believes that God is
Speaker 1: calling her to a time to grow and be alone
Speaker 1: with him. I believe her when she says that, But
Speaker 1: why would we both be given peace about a relationship
Speaker 1: It was just going to end a few months later?
Speaker 1: This question thank you for that. Thank you for it,
Speaker 1: and you're going to remain anonymous. And I'll tell you,
Speaker 1: anonymous that what your question is basically a lack of
Speaker 1: trust in God, lack of trust in God's purpose and plan.
Speaker 1: It's like, it's like, Okay, I had peace about it,
Speaker 1: and we prayed about it, and this relationship started going
Speaker 1: good and then we broke up. So now she must
Speaker 1: be wrong for breaking up because since I had peace
Speaker 1: about it, and since I feel like God spoke to
Speaker 1: me about it, then it's definitely right. But that's really
Speaker 1: just a lack of trust in God. It's like saying, hey, God,
Speaker 1: you gave me this plan and this purpose, and now
Speaker 1: that it's not going that way, that other person must
Speaker 1: be growing up instead of saying, Hey God, I don't
Speaker 1: know what you're doing right now, but I'm gonna be patient.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait through it because I trust you. Whatever
Speaker 1: is happening right now, I trust that it's gonna end
Speaker 1: up good because your plan is always good. And I
Speaker 1: thought that this was the right plan. I was wrong.
Speaker 1: I was wrong thinking that this plan was your plan.
Speaker 1: But it's not looking like it is. And so I'll
Speaker 1: wait and I'll continue to praise you and trust you
Speaker 1: and trust your plan, and I won't blame her. She's
Speaker 1: out of love. This is finding God. Is just another
Speaker 1: one of the many excuses girls or guys will use
Speaker 1: when they're out of love and they need a break.
Speaker 1: Because the truth is, if she was just totally into
Speaker 1: you and full of love, then she would find a
Speaker 1: way around whatever she's dealing with and stay with you.
Speaker 1: But that's just another excuse she's using. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it's a bad excuse. I'm just saying it is an
Speaker 1: excuse because she's fallen out of love. You gotta have
Speaker 1: peace with that. What your experiencing, its heartbreak. You got
Speaker 1: to wait it out. You got to lean into your friends.
Speaker 1: You got to pray about it. You say you're a believer,
Speaker 1: pray about it, and go God. I don't know what
Speaker 1: you're doing here, but I trust you. I trust you.
Speaker 1: It hurts. It hurts right now, but I trust that
Speaker 1: this pain is meaningful and it's gonna matter, and this
Speaker 1: pain will be used for something to teach me something
Speaker 1: or something I'm going to learn so that I will
Speaker 1: be better for you later on. That's the way you
Speaker 1: got to do it. That's the way you got to
Speaker 1: do it, buddy. Thanks for the email. Let's hit one
Speaker 1: more here. It says, subject line big changes and fake friends.
Speaker 1: Hey Grayyar'd like to stay anonymous here? My question is
Speaker 1: I play football, was and some big things have happened
Speaker 1: with colleges reaching out and now people who aren't my friends,
Speaker 1: some people who I never see, people that used to
Speaker 1: bully me and are bullying my other friends are now
Speaker 1: trying to be my friends now and act like they
Speaker 1: have known me since forever. What is your advice to
Speaker 1: handle these fake friends? Thank you? Love excuse me? Thank you?
Speaker 1: Gyegy Yeah. Question anonymous. Congrats on your football recruiting. That's
Speaker 1: pretty cool. What's your advice to handle these fake friends?
Speaker 1: Love them? That's my advice. What's your advice to handle
Speaker 1: these fake friends? Love them? Yeah? Stop judging them for
Speaker 1: being fake? Who are you to know? Who are you
Speaker 1: to know? Just because you haven't known them before and
Speaker 1: now they're reaching out to you, you're automatically assuming that
Speaker 1: they're bad people and they're trying to cling onto you
Speaker 1: because you have some kind of new popularity or some
Speaker 1: kind of new value in football. Hey, let it go.
Speaker 1: Let it go now? If you see bullying, call them out.
Speaker 1: Now now they're your friends, or now they're your new acquaintances. Right,
Speaker 1: so now call them out and say, hey, man, I
Speaker 1: don't think you guys should be bullying my friends. So
Speaker 1: now you have a platform to stand on to call
Speaker 1: them out. But other than that, I sit back. I
Speaker 1: don't judge them. We all I'll become fake friends at
Speaker 1: some point to somebody, whether we can help it or not.
Speaker 1: We're humans, and we're tribal creatures, and we lean into
Speaker 1: certain tribes and when people enter a new tribe, we
Speaker 1: latch onto them. And this football recruiting thing you're in
Speaker 1: is like a new tribe. And so there's other guys
Speaker 1: that are like, hey, he's part of our tribe, now
Speaker 1: bring him in. That doesn't mean that they're fake. Even
Speaker 1: if they are, that doesn't mean we hate them or
Speaker 1: we avoid them, or we'd be mean to them or
Speaker 1: snarky to them. We just love them. It's very difficult
Speaker 1: to do that, but at least you can call him out,
Speaker 1: if for bullying, we don't ever want that. But for
Speaker 1: the people that just came out of nowhere and they're
Speaker 1: reaching out to you, maybe they're just legitimately happy for you.
Speaker 1: You ever think about it, Maybe they're just really happy
Speaker 1: for your success because maybe they didn't see it coming
Speaker 1: and you proved everybody wrong, and they're like, man, that
Speaker 1: guy proved everybody wrong, and now all these colleges want him.
Speaker 1: I'd like to get to know that guy. I want
Speaker 1: to know that guy a little bit better now because
Speaker 1: he defeated a bunch of odds that I didn't think
Speaker 1: he could have defeated. And I want that to rub
Speaker 1: off on me because there's things I can't do and
Speaker 1: I want people like that in my life. You ever
Speaker 1: think about it, maybe that's these guys just love them.
Speaker 1: I'll take a break and be right back. Hey, thanks
Speaker 1: for listening to the podcast. Have you tried ye Ye
Speaker 1: Jerky yet? Well, I'm gonna bet it's the best beef
Speaker 1: jerky you've ever had in your entire life. It's a
Speaker 1: bold statement, but I'm willing to make it. Go to
Speaker 1: EEE dot com to get you some. Also, if you
Speaker 1: ever want to connect with me or get a personal
Speaker 1: message from me a video message, go to cameo dot
Speaker 1: com slash Grangersmith. I could give you a birthday shout out,
Speaker 1: anniversary shout out. Maybe some uplifting stories for you. Whatever
Speaker 1: you want from right here on my phone, I will
Speaker 1: make a video and send it to you customize to you.
Speaker 1: You could also download the cameo app and search for
Speaker 1: me Grangersmith, or go to cameo dot com slash Grangersmith.
Speaker 1: All right, moving on to the next question. The subject
Speaker 1: line says, across country move. Hey grangear. My name is Chelsea.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty two from a small town in Nova Scotia, Canada.
Speaker 1: My boyfriend recently accepted a job in Alberta, which is
Speaker 1: literally across the country from where I am now, and
Speaker 1: my plan is to go with him and find work
Speaker 1: out there. The closer it gets to the moving date,
Speaker 1: the more nervous I get about the move, especially because
Speaker 1: it's not like I could just jump in the car
Speaker 1: and drive a couple hours to go home. Any advice
Speaker 1: on how to deal with the anxiety of a huge
Speaker 1: move would be appreciated. Thank you so much. I'm a
Speaker 1: big fan of your music, flog podcast and beautiful family.
Speaker 1: God bless Chelsea. Chelsea, thank you for the kind words.
Speaker 1: Thank you for the email and shout out to Nova Scotia.
Speaker 1: I love Nova Scotia. Here's the deal. I'm gonna just
Speaker 1: be tough love for you, Chelsea, as you know that
Speaker 1: I like to do on this podcast, because it would
Speaker 1: waste your time if I just told you what you
Speaker 1: wanted to hear. But the truth is, I don't think
Speaker 1: i'd move for a boyfriend. If you were engaged, you
Speaker 1: had a ring on your finger, I would start thinking
Speaker 1: about it. If you're married, of course you're gonna go
Speaker 1: with them. So my suggestion to you right now is
Speaker 1: because you're kind of feeling this anxiety and I think
Speaker 1: that's kind of part of your instincts saying I'm not
Speaker 1: sure about this. I'm not sure. So now we need
Speaker 1: to pump the brakes and listen to this instinct for
Speaker 1: a second here and think about it with our brain
Speaker 1: and go, hmm, I don't know if I'm ready for this.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm ready to be away from
Speaker 1: my family and everything I know in all of my friends,
Speaker 1: in every career path I've ever thought about. That's here
Speaker 1: in Nova Scotia because as you've listened to many of
Speaker 1: these emails, this relationship might not work out. Then you're
Speaker 1: probably thinking, no, this one's different, this one's gonna work out. Okay,
Speaker 1: fair enough. I don't mean to be speaking for you here,
Speaker 1: but I would at the very least, I would let
Speaker 1: some time go by as he moves out there, and
Speaker 1: then give it like two months and say, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: wait for two months after he's gone before I even
Speaker 1: consider anything. And during those two months, I'm gonna look
Speaker 1: for apartments to live in. Don't go live with him.
Speaker 1: That's the worst thing you could do is move halfway
Speaker 1: across the country and live with your boyfriend in a
Speaker 1: brand new place. That's a recipe for disaster. I promise
Speaker 1: you that is just not gonna work. I would pump
Speaker 1: the brakes. I would let a couple months go by,
Speaker 1: research jobs, opportunities out there, research apartments out there, maybe
Speaker 1: friends that you have that you could stay with and
Speaker 1: be roommates with. And that's gonna take a while. And
Speaker 1: during those couple months, you're gonna put together a lot
Speaker 1: of new thoughts, like, hey, this long distance thing actually
Speaker 1: can work, or you're gonna put pressure on him to go. Man,
Speaker 1: I really miss Chelsea. I should have asked her to
Speaker 1: marry me when I had a chance. I'm gonna fly
Speaker 1: back to Nova Scotia, get on one knee and pull
Speaker 1: out a ring and say, hey, let's make this a
Speaker 1: done deal because I learn now after living all the
Speaker 1: way across the country, that I can't live without you.
Speaker 1: But by you just obliging and just going now just
Speaker 1: because you want to be with him, I understand that
Speaker 1: you don't want to be separated from him. That's gonna
Speaker 1: be hard. You're worried about that. But by just doing that,
Speaker 1: you're just giving him a free pass. You're just giving
Speaker 1: him everything he needs. He's got this new job, he's
Speaker 1: got his girlfriend coming with him, there's no pressure. This
Speaker 1: is easy for him, but this is difficult for you.
Speaker 1: So don't fall into that. I'm not saying he's manipulating
Speaker 1: you in that way. He doesn't even know he's doing that.
Speaker 1: I'm just telling you, dude, good on him. Super easy
Speaker 1: for him. Then you're giving up everything. You don't have
Speaker 1: anything out there in Alberta, so let some time go
Speaker 1: by before you make that kind of decision. Let him
Speaker 1: go first, see it by love you, missya. Let's plan
Speaker 1: on seeing each other in two weeks. Maybe you could
Speaker 1: fly back. Maybe I'll fly out there and stay it
Speaker 1: for a day. And then when you go out there,
Speaker 1: for a day. You're looking around, You're looking for a job, opportunity,
Speaker 1: maybe a future career. You're starting to have a conversation
Speaker 1: with him and like, hey, am I someone you want
Speaker 1: to be with the rest of your life? Like is
Speaker 1: that someone you could see? And if he says yeah, maybe,
Speaker 1: then it's like boom, I'm gone, I'm back out here.
Speaker 1: I'm going back to Nova Scotia. But if he's like, yes,
Speaker 1: I have a plan, I'm actually thinking about, you know,
Speaker 1: trying to not here really soon. I don't think he's
Speaker 1: gonna say it that way, but then that's now you
Speaker 1: could start moving that direction. But pump the brakes. Give
Speaker 1: it a couple months at least, I'd say at least
Speaker 1: eight weeks. Let him live there by himself, let him
Speaker 1: miss you. It's gonna be so hard for you. You're
Speaker 1: gonna be in Nova Scotia. You're gonna be missing him,
Speaker 1: You're gonna be texting him, facetiming him, really needing him.
Speaker 1: So you're gonna have to get over that. But avoid
Speaker 1: the temptation to say, forget it, I'm just going I'm moving,
Speaker 1: because yes, you're gonna miss your parents and your friends
Speaker 1: and your job, everything you have, don't do it. Don't
Speaker 1: do it. That's my advice. Next question, subject line says,
Speaker 1: how do I find God? The gring your. My name
Speaker 1: is Coulton. I'm eighteen from Colorado. My girlfriend has recently
Speaker 1: found a new path with God, and she's been trying
Speaker 1: to figure out how that I might fit into this puzzle.
Speaker 1: She makes me realize that maybe I should find my
Speaker 1: own way to rekindle my relationship with Jesus and possibly
Speaker 1: change my ways to better myself and better others around me.
Speaker 1: And but how can I do that when my girlfriend
Speaker 1: in this situation has been on my mind constantly. Instead,
Speaker 1: we've been dating a little over two years. I'm afraid
Speaker 1: that her path may be different than mine. Thanks love
Speaker 1: all your songs in your podcast, Colton. Colton shout out
Speaker 1: to Colorado. Thanks for emailing buddy. I'm gonna knock you
Speaker 1: around a little bit. I hope you don't mind, but
Speaker 1: I think people kind of expect that by now. You
Speaker 1: should expect if you email me, I'm gonna knock you
Speaker 1: around sometimes. So here's what you're doing you're thinking about.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna use your words finding God so that you
Speaker 1: could better your relationship with the girl. This is totally backwards.
Speaker 1: We're talking, Colton, we're talking about life and death. We're
Speaker 1: talking about your eternal life in heaven or hell. That's
Speaker 1: what we're talking about. And you're saying, I think I
Speaker 1: might try to figure out this puzzle, as if God
Speaker 1: is a puzzle or a riddle or a or as
Speaker 1: if he's a path that we try to find and
Speaker 1: it's hidden and we gotta unlock this secret key. And
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna go do that so that I
Speaker 1: can get better with my girlfriend so that she's gonna
Speaker 1: like me more, because she's kind of putting pressure on
Speaker 1: me to get closer to God so that she likes
Speaker 1: me more. And that is totally backwards, Coulton, totally Man,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna knock you around here because I'm gonna say this,
Speaker 1: this is a waste of time. You try to find
Speaker 1: God and try to find this puzzle peace and try
Speaker 1: to rekindle your relationship with Jesus as a waste of time.
Speaker 1: You might as well go get another hobby, go do
Speaker 1: something else, go find another girl. All those things are
Speaker 1: easier than what you're saying. Because what you're saying is impossible.
Speaker 1: You can't find a path to God. You can't work
Speaker 1: your way to God. Remember what I read out of
Speaker 1: Ephesians at the beginning of this podcast. Jesus finds you
Speaker 1: through faith, which is a gift by grace. And your
Speaker 1: faith is dead if you don't see any fruits from it.
Speaker 1: If you see no works from the fruit from the faith,
Speaker 1: then it's dead. You don't have any so it's a
Speaker 1: total waste of time. Instead, you need to hear the
Speaker 1: gospel that God came into our lives two thousand years ago,
Speaker 1: became the perfect man, the life of example, a perfect
Speaker 1: example abolish the law, not because the law wasn't good,
Speaker 1: but because we couldn't do it. So he comes in,
Speaker 1: dies on the cross with his blood and takes that
Speaker 1: sacrifice as a substitute for us because we couldn't do it.
Speaker 1: Three days later, resurrected from the dead. We have faith
Speaker 1: in that story, that gospel. We have faith in that
Speaker 1: we become His children. And then that faith results in
Speaker 1: the fruit. And part of the fruit is you're gonna
Speaker 1: want to read your Bible. Part of the fruit is
Speaker 1: you're gonna want to go to church and be around
Speaker 1: more people that think that way because you feel radically different.
Speaker 1: You notice the difference in me over the course of
Speaker 1: this podcast, go back to episode one and listen to
Speaker 1: now episode one forty six. You could see the difference
Speaker 1: in me. That's not because of something I did. That's
Speaker 1: just the fruit of a faith that was a gift
Speaker 1: to me by grace from hearing that gospel. That's the
Speaker 1: most important thing I could tell you. You try to
Speaker 1: get close to God, you'll never find him. Every other
Speaker 1: religion will tell you that work towards God, work towards God,
Speaker 1: get rekindled this puzzle piece, or however you said. But
Speaker 1: then Ephesians too says by grace you have been saved
Speaker 1: through faith. It is not your own doing. It is
Speaker 1: the gift of God, not a result of works, so
Speaker 1: that no one may boast, for we are His workmanship,
Speaker 1: created in Christ Jesus, for good works which God prepared beforehand,
Speaker 1: that we should walk in them. Buddy, you either need
Speaker 1: a new girlfriend or you're looking at this is completely wrong.
Speaker 1: And Colton, I love you, bro, And if I didn't
Speaker 1: love you, I would just say, yeah, man, just fake it, dude,
Speaker 1: Just fake it and get close to this girl. That's
Speaker 1: the way to do it. Just tell her. You're getting
Speaker 1: close to God. Just make whatever you can patch it
Speaker 1: up so that you can get better with your girl.
Speaker 1: That would be hating you, dude. That would be hating you.
Speaker 1: If I told you that, after I've read what the
Speaker 1: Bible says, and after I've seen that the Bible is
Speaker 1: true through millions of reasons, I would be hating you
Speaker 1: if I didn't tell you. But you're going about this
Speaker 1: the whole wrong way. Okay, I think it was clear.
Speaker 1: Let me go to this. I have so many questions y'all,
Speaker 1: and I just I appreciate y'all sending questions. I love it.
Speaker 1: I love that you guys send me questions. Here's one
Speaker 1: that says subject line's scared of graduating college. Hey Granger,
Speaker 1: my name is Billy. I'm twenty two. I'm a senior
Speaker 1: at Belmont University in Nashville. Belmont has given my Belmont
Speaker 1: has given my some incredible I think you meant me.
Speaker 1: Bellmont has given me some incredible opportunities that I don't
Speaker 1: think I would have gotten anywhere else. But I'm scared
Speaker 1: that I might not have a job in the music
Speaker 1: industry coming out of college. I'm mainly interested in music publishing,
Speaker 1: but I'm also considering artist management. Do you have any
Speaker 1: advice forgetting started in the industry or any advice in general?
Speaker 1: Thanks so much, love the podcast, especially on long road
Speaker 1: trips back home. Your advice has helped me a lot
Speaker 1: over the past year. Best Billy, Billy, congrats bro graduating
Speaker 1: Belmont As. What a great school, What an incredible opportunity
Speaker 1: you have. Now, this is nothing to be scared about.
Speaker 1: It's nothing to be scared about. It just depends on
Speaker 1: how bad do you want to be in the music business.
Speaker 1: That would be my question to you, how bad do
Speaker 1: you want to do this? And this is where I
Speaker 1: wish we were sitting around a campfire together. I'd say, Billy,
Speaker 1: how bad do you want to be in the music business?
Speaker 1: And you would give me an answer, and I would say,
Speaker 1: do you want to be in it bad enough to
Speaker 1: do it for free? That's the question? Do you want
Speaker 1: to do this bad enough to do it for free?
Speaker 1: And go deliver pizzas in the afternoons. That's what I
Speaker 1: want you to think about. And you're thinking, you're telling
Speaker 1: me I just got a college education and paid all
Speaker 1: this boatloads of money so that I go deliver pizzas,
Speaker 1: and I'm saying, do you want you want it that bad?
Speaker 1: Then yes, because in the music business, unfortunately, it's really
Speaker 1: about who knows you. You notice I say it that way.
Speaker 1: Instead of saying it's who you know, it's who knows
Speaker 1: you like, who could vouch for you, who believes in you,
Speaker 1: And so many times, man, that's going to come out
Speaker 1: of a free internship where you just go into music
Speaker 1: publishing or artist management that you're talking about here and
Speaker 1: just say, Hey, my name is Billy graduate of Belmont University.
Speaker 1: I've got a music business degree or whatever it might be,
Speaker 1: and I love music publishing. This is my passion. I
Speaker 1: love everything about it, and I want to start in
Speaker 1: the mailroom. I'm going to work here at this publishing
Speaker 1: company in the mail room, and I'm want to do
Speaker 1: it for free because I want you to see how
Speaker 1: I could prove to you that I'm the right person
Speaker 1: for this job and that I have longevity to be
Speaker 1: in this business a lo long long time. Hey, I'll
Speaker 1: deliver trash. I will I will go out and empty
Speaker 1: the dumpsters. I'll bring coffee to everyone in the morning.
Speaker 1: I'll do whatever it takes, because Billy, you can't expect
Speaker 1: to just walk in and you get a plugging job
Speaker 1: and you're just pitching songs to big producers. By you
Speaker 1: big artist, That's not where you're gonna go. You're gonna
Speaker 1: be an assistant or a trash man, or in the
Speaker 1: mail room, and you're gonna do it for minimum wage
Speaker 1: or free because a lot of other people want it
Speaker 1: bad enough to do it for free. That's a problem
Speaker 1: in the music business. I don't love that I have
Speaker 1: to say that, but that's the truth. You're gonna have
Speaker 1: to prove yourself by being in front of them and
Speaker 1: doing everything great, showing up early, staying late, making the
Speaker 1: best coffee, always, making sure you're taking out the trash,
Speaker 1: your your your mail room is immaculately perfect. That's what
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to do. How bad do you want it? Billy?
Speaker 1: Is it that bad? Is it that bad? Question? Here?
Speaker 1: Subject line says, Hey, gret your my name is David.
Speaker 1: I own a barbershop and I'm looking to expand, but
Speaker 1: I'm nervous to make the jump. I know I'll be
Speaker 1: responsible for other people's income. Any advice I'm taking on
Speaker 1: such a big task, David, congrats man, this is a
Speaker 1: cool opportunity. I would say anytime you're thinking about expanding
Speaker 1: a business, you need to do a lot of market research.
Speaker 1: You need to make sure that this is something that
Speaker 1: you can handle, and so you take it in small steps.
Speaker 1: You're not just gonna jump into a big lease and
Speaker 1: fill up a bunch of chairs with a bunch of
Speaker 1: barbers that you're gonna have to pay and just to
Speaker 1: expect that things are going to go great, you need
Speaker 1: to have some kind of research involved in that and
Speaker 1: doing that, I would go to every big barbershop that
Speaker 1: you know and find the owner and sit down with them. So, hey,
Speaker 1: my name is David. I'm from a town, a couple
Speaker 1: of towns over here, and I really need some advice.
Speaker 1: I'm looking to expand and you've done it. You've obviously
Speaker 1: done a great job. You have a really nice barbershop.
Speaker 1: Can you have your pin and pad ready, David? So
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, can you walk through step by step
Speaker 1: on things I need to know? And he's gonna lay
Speaker 1: it out for you. And then you go to another
Speaker 1: barbershop one town over and you do the same thing,
Speaker 1: pen and paper, just diligently writing everything, soaking it in
Speaker 1: like a sponge. Some of the stuff you're going to take,
Speaker 1: some of the stuff you're not. That's okay. You're gonna
Speaker 1: get a consensus by talking to a bunch of people
Speaker 1: in this industry. So the last question is about music business.
Speaker 1: I know that very well. I don't know the barbershop industry.
Speaker 1: So I would say, make sure you're not going to
Speaker 1: dive into this without knowing exactly how you're getting into it,
Speaker 1: without exactly knowing how much these chairs are going to cost,
Speaker 1: and how much these clippers are going to be, and
Speaker 1: how much how much I'm going to lease these chairs
Speaker 1: for to other people? And do I have other people
Speaker 1: ready to lease? Like, you're not gonna have empty chairs
Speaker 1: sitting there. You got to have people that you know
Speaker 1: that are ready to fill in and they've got cash
Speaker 1: and they're ready to go. They got a monthly lease
Speaker 1: with you and they're ready to do it. So that's
Speaker 1: how you would expand is having full knowledge of the situation.
Speaker 1: And if you do, your anxiety is going to go away.
Speaker 1: You're gonna have confidence that replaces that anxiety. Good luck, buddy,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna come get a haircut there one day. Next
Speaker 1: question sepu Cline says first Love. Hey, Grange, I want
Speaker 1: to remain anonymous, but my girlfriend broke up with me.
Speaker 1: We're both seventeen, and I still want to be friends
Speaker 1: with her because she's made an impact on me and
Speaker 1: I have amazing memories with her. We also go to
Speaker 1: the same high school, and I don't want anything awkward
Speaker 1: between us. The only thing is it hurts when I
Speaker 1: talk when I think about her. What do you think
Speaker 1: I should do well, anonymous? This is good old fashioned heartbreak,
Speaker 1: and this is difficult. It's difficult to live a life
Speaker 1: where you're constantly around the person that you're hurting for.
Speaker 1: It's very hard. That's why I say, usually you want
Speaker 1: to cut them off, but sometimes in your situation, you
Speaker 1: can't cut them off because you're going to see them
Speaker 1: every day and you have mutual friends. So one thing
Speaker 1: to do is go to her with this and just say, hey,
Speaker 1: maybe write an email so you don't have to be
Speaker 1: face to face. Just say I want to let you
Speaker 1: know that I am hurting over this relationship and I
Speaker 1: am going to need some space because it hurts when
Speaker 1: I think about you. But I don't want to put
Speaker 1: in jeopardy any of our mutual friends. And I don't
Speaker 1: want it to be awkward when I see you. So
Speaker 1: I'm letting you know right now that I'm going to
Speaker 1: put a smile on my face, that I'm not going
Speaker 1: to be weird around our mutual friends, that I'll be
Speaker 1: happy to see you in the hall, But just to
Speaker 1: let you know, I'm going to avoid you in any
Speaker 1: other situation, I'm going to block you on Facebook. I
Speaker 1: don't want to see what you're doing. It's nothing against you.
Speaker 1: This is me trying to protect my heart because it
Speaker 1: really hurts. And then anonymous, When enough time goes by
Speaker 1: and you're doing this, you might feel like a robot
Speaker 1: at first, like you're putting on a fake smile and
Speaker 1: you're passing her in the hall. That's going to be natural.
Speaker 1: But after time it gets a little bit easier, and
Speaker 1: then a little bit easier, and she meets somebody, then
Speaker 1: you meet somebody, and then she slowly fades away. That's
Speaker 1: the story of heartbreak. That's what's gonna happen. Next question,
Speaker 1: subject Gliine says relationship problems. Hey Grandeur, I'd like to
Speaker 1: remain anonymous. I'm from Sarahville, Tennessee, Severville, Tennessee, me and
Speaker 1: My girlfriend have been together for a year and we
Speaker 1: fight all the time, and we've now been on break
Speaker 1: for two months because old messages and photos on my phone,
Speaker 1: and I don't know if I should keep fighting for
Speaker 1: her or let her go. Love your music and all
Speaker 1: your shows. Say hey to Earle for for me. Anonymous
Speaker 1: shout out to Tennessee, thanks for the question. You have
Speaker 1: been in a relationship for a year, you fight all
Speaker 1: the time, you're on a break because of old messages
Speaker 1: and photos on your phone. First of all, it's time
Speaker 1: to go through your phone and delete that stuff. Get
Speaker 1: rid of those photo, whatever you're talking about, get rid
Speaker 1: of those messages that hurt her, get rid of it.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's gonna immediately help things, because you
Speaker 1: guys have been fighting all the time, and you're on
Speaker 1: a really long break, like two months is a really
Speaker 1: long break that sounds more like a break up. So
Speaker 1: you want to keep fighting for her? How bad do
Speaker 1: you want to fight? So, just like that guy that
Speaker 1: wanted to get into music business, I would say, how
Speaker 1: bad do you want to fight for her? Bad enough
Speaker 1: to change your ways and delete everything and start over
Speaker 1: and stop screwing up and stop fighting her. And when
Speaker 1: she says something you don't agree with, you don't attack it.
Speaker 1: You just treat it with grace and forgive her for
Speaker 1: anything she might have done. Because you can't control what
Speaker 1: she does. You can control what you do, and so
Speaker 1: you just treat it with grace. You treat with love,
Speaker 1: with respect, with honor. You don't initiate fights, and when
Speaker 1: she tries to fight, you just let it go. Just
Speaker 1: go hey, if that's if that's how you feel, I'm
Speaker 1: totally good with that because I love you and honor you.
Speaker 1: And inside you might be thinking no, no, no fight
Speaker 1: or argue? Are you no? You gotta gotta be right.
Speaker 1: There's no point, buddy, There's no point in being right
Speaker 1: when it's gonna hurt her or hurt your relationship. So
Speaker 1: either you're gonna break up and this is the end.
Speaker 1: If you're not willing to compromise what I just said,
Speaker 1: or if you want to fight for her enough and
Speaker 1: she's that important to you, you're gonna change your ways,
Speaker 1: delete the stuff that you don't want her to see,
Speaker 1: and stop doing it and have grace for her and
Speaker 1: forgive her. That's what you could do. Which path do
Speaker 1: you want to take? That's my question. Speaking of questions,
Speaker 1: I love y'all's questions. Thank you for all that you
Speaker 1: send me, and I hope that I'll get more and more.
Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com is how you get
Speaker 1: a hold of me and I'll see y'all next Monday. Yeege.
Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate
Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by
Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe
Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification
Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video.
Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would
Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: Yig