1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,360 Speaker 1: You might as well go get another hobby, go do 2 00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:05,640 Speaker 1: something else, go find another girl. All those things are 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:21,160 Speaker 1: easier than what you're saying, because what you're saying is impossible. Hey, guys, 4 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 1: welcome to the podcast, Episode one forty six. Thank you 5 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: for hanging with me, or being new, or staying late 6 00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:31,480 Speaker 1: or repeating after so many times you've heard it, all 7 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,000 Speaker 1: of you, guys, Thank you for coming wherever you came from, 8 00:00:34,120 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: however you found it. I answer your questions, and I 9 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,199 Speaker 1: love doing this. We put this out every single Monday. 10 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,680 Speaker 1: We've done it a lot of Mondays, and we've answered 11 00:00:42,680 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: a lot of questions. And I encourage you to email 12 00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,559 Speaker 1: me Grangersmith podcast at gmail dot com. If you have 13 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:52,599 Speaker 1: a question, that's Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. We'll 14 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,600 Speaker 1: get to it. We'll walk through it casually. It could 15 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,600 Speaker 1: be about any subject and I'll answer it like we're 16 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: old friends, and I'll answer it like you a friend. 17 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: And if any friend had a question for me about life, 18 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:07,319 Speaker 1: I'm going to walk through it in long term podcast 19 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: form and walk through it. I have no notes with me, 20 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:15,920 Speaker 1: I have nothing to look at. Just good old fashioned friends. 21 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: That's what we are. So the first question I have here. 22 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: The subject line says, is morally good enough? Heygre and 23 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 1: your mo name is Laura. I'm twenty nine years old 24 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,600 Speaker 1: from Illinois. My husband is an all around great guy. 25 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 1: He's kind to everyone, a great father and husband. God's 26 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,480 Speaker 1: moral law is clearly written on his heart. But he 27 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 1: cannot surrender to Jesus and fully believe in him. I 28 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: pray the every day that he will. He thinks that 29 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: if he is to be judged by him when they die, 30 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: and if God is merciful, he wouldn't throw him in 31 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: hell because of his life on earth. He is so 32 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: full of love talking about God. So my main question 33 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: here is can someone be saved after they die and 34 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: meet with their creator and believe? Is there any biblical 35 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: evidence you could give me to either confirm or deny? 36 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,840 Speaker 1: Is he cursed with abundance? Do you think that's possible? 37 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: I am a new creation in God and I am 38 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,799 Speaker 1: the spiritual leader of our family, leading by actions, going 39 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: to church, reading my Bible submitting. I know I cannot 40 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:15,959 Speaker 1: make him believe. Thank you so much for reading my question. 41 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:18,160 Speaker 1: And if I don't hear back from you, I surely 42 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: will seek wise counsel. I have never missed a podcast 43 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:23,239 Speaker 1: or an episode of the smiss I hope to see 44 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:26,959 Speaker 1: you in concert someday, Laura. Laura, thank you so much 45 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 1: for the email, and thank you for the kind words 46 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,280 Speaker 1: and for listening to the podcast and watching the Smiths. 47 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: I appreciate you so much. And it's such a great question. It's, 48 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: in fact, I think, the most important question anyone could ask, 49 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: and so I'm happy to answer it. And I'm sorry 50 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: that you're in this predicament. But I want to thank 51 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: you for your faithfulness because you sound like just an 52 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:55,200 Speaker 1: incredible woman and you seem to be pretty knowledgeable at 53 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: only twenty nine years old. Shout out to one of 54 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: my favorite stats, Illinois as well. So let's dive into this. 55 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:06,840 Speaker 1: The answer to your question can someone be saved after 56 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: they died and meet with the creator and believe? So 57 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 1: basically what you're saying is can you go to heaven 58 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:17,239 Speaker 1: without believing in Jesus? And that is that is the question, 59 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:22,320 Speaker 1: and the answer is a resounding no, you cannot. And 60 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: I'm not speaking on my opinion here. This is not 61 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:30,200 Speaker 1: the Granger Smith podcast opinion show. This is not what 62 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: I feel or what I hope or what I learned 63 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: from my parents growing up, or what some pastor taught 64 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: me in church. It's none of that. What I'm telling 65 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 1: you is straight from the Bible, over and over and 66 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: over again. Jesus said, I am the Way, the truth, 67 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: and the life. No one comes to the Father but 68 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: by me. There are many ways, and many scriptures and 69 00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:01,080 Speaker 1: many verses you could find that He is the only way. Now, 70 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: some of you listening might think, well, that's not very 71 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:08,480 Speaker 1: loving of you to force your opinion on me, or 72 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:12,480 Speaker 1: to force this this idea on me. So then I 73 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:17,680 Speaker 1: would ask you, is it loving if I know from 74 00:04:17,720 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 1: the Bible, which we have so much evidence to say 75 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: that the Bible is true and we could back that 76 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: up a million different ways. So if I'm reading the 77 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,479 Speaker 1: Bible and I tell you what it says that you 78 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,919 Speaker 1: will not make it. You will not make it to 79 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: Heaven without faith in Jesus. If I tell you that 80 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,680 Speaker 1: after I read it, is it loving for me to 81 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,839 Speaker 1: tell you that? Or is it more loving for me 82 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 1: to just hide that information from you that after I've 83 00:04:45,839 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: clearly read it and let you off on your own, 84 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: Because I don't want to intrude in your life and 85 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to force my opinions on you. So 86 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: which version is more loving? If that's what I read, 87 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:03,480 Speaker 1: and that's what I believe, I think everyone would agree 88 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,720 Speaker 1: it is much more loving of me to tell the 89 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: truth that I've read through the Bible. This is not 90 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 1: my truth. This is not something that I just came 91 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 1: up with. Like I said, it's not something I grew 92 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: up with. And now that's how I think. It's something 93 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 1: we read in the truth of the Bible, which is 94 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: the truth. Jesus says, I am the truth. Not your 95 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:28,719 Speaker 1: truth or my truth, or world truth, or political truth 96 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: or social truth. I am the truth. Okay. So he 97 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 1: has said that, and he has been very clear about that. 98 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: And then also we could see stuff like Ephesians two 99 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 1: and Ephesians too. It'll say, for by grace you have 100 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 1: been saved through faith. It is not your own doing. 101 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: It is the gift of God, not a result of work, 102 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: so that no man can boast, For we are His workmanship, 103 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,359 Speaker 1: created in Jesus Christ for good works which God has 104 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,279 Speaker 1: prepared before that we should walk in them. That's Ephesians 105 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,359 Speaker 1: two eight through ten. So what this is saying is 106 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,040 Speaker 1: and this is to your husband's idea about works, because 107 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: because James says in the Bible that faith without works 108 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: is dead. So what he's saying is, if you have 109 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: true faith, then you will be able to see the 110 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,920 Speaker 1: fruits of that faith through your works. But works are secondary. 111 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,719 Speaker 1: Works are the result of the faith first. And guess 112 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: what the faith is a gift. That's what Ephesians two says. 113 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,359 Speaker 1: It is a gift of God. For by grace you 114 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: have been saved through faith in Jesus. And this is 115 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:36,000 Speaker 1: not your own doing. It is the gift of God, 116 00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,960 Speaker 1: not a result of work. So that no man may boast, 117 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: because if you get to heaven, you've done a bunch 118 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,880 Speaker 1: of good works, and you go I didn't believe in Jesus, 119 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:48,040 Speaker 1: But I look at all the good works that I did, 120 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:50,919 Speaker 1: and you're gonna start feeling all uppity about it like 121 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 1: you did it, and God's gonna say, get out of here. 122 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: That is clearly not what I said. I said, surrender, 123 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: have faith in myself. So then you could say, how 124 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:06,840 Speaker 1: could a loving God reject people because they didn't love 125 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: his son? And my response to that would be, our 126 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: loving God gave us an opportunity through his son and 127 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: sent his son, and those that have faith in him 128 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 1: and love him, would be saved. Now he's not going 129 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: to save the people that reject his son. God was 130 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:31,800 Speaker 1: gracious enough to send his son to be persecuted and 131 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 1: die on a cross and live a perfect life as 132 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: an example for us, because the law which he abolished 133 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 1: was a good law. But we couldn't do it. We 134 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: couldn't live up to it. We couldn't live up to 135 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: the ten commandments. Everyone listening hasn't You can't. You've all 136 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: told a lie in your life. Sometime, you've all stole 137 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 1: something in your life. At some time, you've all looked 138 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: at a woman with lust in your life. At some time, 139 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 1: you've broken the law. It couldn't be done. He had 140 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: to send his perfect son as an example for us, 141 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: so that he could be the substitute for us and 142 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,480 Speaker 1: our sin, so that when God looks at us, he 143 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: sees his son dwelling in us. That's the whole idea 144 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: of an atonement. There is no other way. Your husband 145 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:23,680 Speaker 1: is guilty because he also knows. He knows he's been 146 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: given this. Now now you're thinking, well, what do I 147 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:29,960 Speaker 1: do well. The Bible also says that the Gospel is 148 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: the power of God for salvation in Romans too, So 149 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: our faith comes from that gift of faith comes from 150 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,280 Speaker 1: hearing the word. So you have to preach it to him. 151 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: You have to preach the gospel what I've just told you. 152 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:48,080 Speaker 1: Jesus died on the cross as a substitute for our sins. 153 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 1: Believe in that, repent, turn to him and you'll be saved. 154 00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:56,840 Speaker 1: That's the gospel. So in hearing that, it activates. It activates. 155 00:08:57,040 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: Not everyone, but those that are meant to be activated 156 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: will be activated upon hearing that word. Maybe not right 157 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,440 Speaker 1: off the bat, like, maybe not an instant thing. It 158 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:09,800 Speaker 1: might be years, but that's the seed that's planted. So 159 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: you have to just tell him the gospel. You can't 160 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: convince him. You can't convince him with nice, eloquent words. 161 00:09:17,559 --> 00:09:21,360 Speaker 1: It's just the gospel. That's all you could do. Love him, 162 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: pour into him, show him the life that you live 163 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: now because you're so different with this grace. That's all 164 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: you could do. But there is no other way. Next 165 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: question subde lines just says. Question says, Heygriner, have been 166 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: listening to the podcast for a while. I had a 167 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,360 Speaker 1: question in my own. I'm seventeen. I started going to 168 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: church by myself. Soon after I turned sixteen, I found 169 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,959 Speaker 1: the Lord and got baptized a few months ago. Now, 170 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: my parents are telling me they don't want me to 171 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 1: go to church because I got in trouble at home, 172 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,440 Speaker 1: and they know that this is something I enjoy. I 173 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: really love going to church and all the people there, 174 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,640 Speaker 1: and I don't know how to explain it to them 175 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,920 Speaker 1: how important, how important it is to me. Any advice 176 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,600 Speaker 1: would be greatly appreciated. A question comes from a guy 177 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: named Jude seventeen and there's a lot of problems in 178 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 1: this email. Thank you for listening, buddy, and thank you 179 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: for emailing in. And I'll get right to it. First, 180 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 1: let me go to your question when you said, when 181 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 1: you're talking about the people you love at church, and 182 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,720 Speaker 1: you said, I don't know how to explain to them 183 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,240 Speaker 1: how important it is to me. Okay, you're talking about 184 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: your parents. Well that's kind of a relevant right now, 185 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:41,640 Speaker 1: because what they're doing is they're they're punishing you. They're 186 00:10:41,679 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: disciplining you for something you did wrong. So let's go 187 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: back to that. What did you do wrong? Like at 188 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: some point you're still living in the under the roof 189 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: of your parents and the Bible says, as you know, 190 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,480 Speaker 1: you've got to obey your parents. So by disobeying your 191 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,320 Speaker 1: parents and do something wrong, they're hitting you with the punishment. 192 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:06,079 Speaker 1: They don't understand exactly what this kind of punishment is, 193 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,960 Speaker 1: but it really doesn't matter. They're taking away something you love. 194 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:14,040 Speaker 1: And so what do you do? Obey them, honor them. 195 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: They you watch church online, you could talk to your people, 196 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,320 Speaker 1: your friends and just say, hey, guys, I screwed up. 197 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 1: I messed up. My parents aren't going to let me 198 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,679 Speaker 1: go to church for the next three or four weeks. 199 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:27,800 Speaker 1: Surely anybody would understand that. But this is not something 200 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:31,240 Speaker 1: to rebel and go No, I'm going to church because 201 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,840 Speaker 1: I believe in God and I need to be in church, 202 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,319 Speaker 1: and I have all my friends there. So because you 203 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 1: see what you're doing, then you're contradicting the Bible itself 204 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,200 Speaker 1: by disobeying your parents and not honoring them so that 205 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,440 Speaker 1: you can go to church. That doesn't work that way, 206 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,679 Speaker 1: So honor them, work on the behavior. Whatever you did wrong, 207 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,439 Speaker 1: work on that, and guess what. Another year you're eighteen, 208 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,920 Speaker 1: you're going to hit a ride a passage. Maybe you'll 209 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:57,080 Speaker 1: be out of the house by then. Hopefully you will. 210 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 1: I always preach you get out of the house and 211 00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,719 Speaker 1: then you could do whatever you want and hopefully you 212 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:08,839 Speaker 1: won't mess up. Thanks from the email brother. Last question, 213 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 1: subject line says the Army in marriage. Hey grangerom getting 214 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 1: married soon to my best friend. We're beyond excited. He's 215 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 1: getting deployed overseas next year with the military. We've been 216 00:12:16,679 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: separated before due to trainings and at one point I 217 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: didn't hear from him for two months. However, this time 218 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,680 Speaker 1: it seems different. We will be married and he'll be 219 00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:27,080 Speaker 1: gone for a year with a large amount of time difference. 220 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: I always see your post on Instagram about the military 221 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,319 Speaker 1: in our country makes me happy knowing that someone is 222 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: as famous as you still supports the military. Was just 223 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 1: hoping for some encouragement when it comes to being a 224 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,319 Speaker 1: newly wet and being separated. I love the Lord and 225 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,880 Speaker 1: trust that he has helped me through previous trainings and separations. 226 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 1: I know he's going to help me through this deployment. 227 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: Thanks in advance, Madison. This question comes from Madison. Thank 228 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: you for your service, Madison, and you're soon to be 229 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: husband as well. I feel for you and this is 230 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 1: a tough situation. It's a place to be, and the 231 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: statistics show that you're gonna this is not going to work. 232 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:08,960 Speaker 1: Statistics will tell you that your marriage will fail because 233 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,440 Speaker 1: your husband's on a year long deployment. So know that 234 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: and beat the statistic. Don't be that statistic. Beat it. 235 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:21,559 Speaker 1: Beat that statistic. Okay. Lower your expectations of what you're 236 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,319 Speaker 1: going to need from him over this next year. And 237 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: I know that's difficult. I know that's difficult. But for instance, 238 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,800 Speaker 1: if you don't hear from him for two weeks and 239 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 1: then you finally do and you're so excited to hear 240 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:33,800 Speaker 1: from them, and you've just been dying to hear from him, 241 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 1: and you get just a quick email, lower your expectations 242 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:40,120 Speaker 1: of what you're expecting. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you. 243 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean he wants to come home and get 244 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,080 Speaker 1: a divorce, or he's found somebody new, or he's over it. 245 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 1: Avoid those thoughts because those are just feelings that are 246 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: lying to you. Just have grace for him. He's doing 247 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 1: something that none of us can understand. He's overseas, he's 248 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: seeing things that we can understand, and on the same ticket, 249 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,800 Speaker 1: you're doing things that he can't understand as well. You're 250 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,600 Speaker 1: home waiting for a husband for a year. He can't 251 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 1: understand that either, so you both have to have grace 252 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 1: for each other. But I would say, since you can't 253 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:16,079 Speaker 1: control him, focus on yourself. Go into this going. I'm 254 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:19,440 Speaker 1: gonna make it for twelve months, and I'm gonna I'm 255 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: not going to expect a whole lot from him. I'm 256 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,640 Speaker 1: not gonna expect a lot emotionally and not expecting long 257 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: phone calls and long emails. Then if you get it, great, 258 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: it exceeds your expectations. But don't start nagging, and don't 259 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 1: start worrying and getting letting loneliness drive you crazy. Lean 260 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 1: into your friends, get a couple new hobbies. I would 261 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,600 Speaker 1: suggest writing a letter to your husband every single day. 262 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 1: That would be my challenge to you, three hundred and 263 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: sixty five days worth of letters to your husband. These 264 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: aren't emails or letters that you physically send. You're gonna 265 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,200 Speaker 1: keep them at home, physically, write them a pen and 266 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 1: a paper and just write them. Tell them about your day, 267 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,440 Speaker 1: tell them about how much you miss them, how much 268 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: you love them, Tell him how committed you are to 269 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 1: this marriage. Tell him, tell him that nothing is going 270 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 1: to separate you too, nothing and talk about the season's 271 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: changing and new friends that you meet and new hobbies 272 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,840 Speaker 1: that you're trying, and pour it out onto these papers. 273 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:18,960 Speaker 1: And when he gets home, give him the gift of 274 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,640 Speaker 1: three hundred and sixty five letters of love and commitment. 275 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,720 Speaker 1: That's going to keep your brain thinking about him and 276 00:15:25,760 --> 00:15:28,080 Speaker 1: focused on the mission at hand, because you are on 277 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 1: a mission, Madison. This is the way that you're serving 278 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:35,160 Speaker 1: your country and we are all in gratitude to you 279 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 1: for that. Let's hit another one here. Subjectline says, remain 280 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 1: anonymous God taking away something good. Hey, Grangeer Love the podcast. 281 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 1: My story is short. My girlfriend and I broke up recently. 282 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: She's twenty one, I'm twenty four. We're both firm believers 283 00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 1: in Christ and that God has had a foundation of 284 00:15:53,920 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: our relationship. We both prayed over it and had peace 285 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 1: when we started dating and believe for greater things to come. 286 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 1: But when we broke up, she believes that God is 287 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 1: calling her to a time to grow and be alone 288 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 1: with him. I believe her when she says that, But 289 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:09,880 Speaker 1: why would we both be given peace about a relationship 290 00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:12,800 Speaker 1: It was just going to end a few months later? 291 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 1: This question thank you for that. Thank you for it, 292 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:20,520 Speaker 1: and you're going to remain anonymous. And I'll tell you, 293 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 1: anonymous that what your question is basically a lack of 294 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,160 Speaker 1: trust in God, lack of trust in God's purpose and plan. 295 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: It's like, it's like, Okay, I had peace about it, 296 00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 1: and we prayed about it, and this relationship started going 297 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,760 Speaker 1: good and then we broke up. So now she must 298 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 1: be wrong for breaking up because since I had peace 299 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,040 Speaker 1: about it, and since I feel like God spoke to 300 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 1: me about it, then it's definitely right. But that's really 301 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 1: just a lack of trust in God. It's like saying, hey, God, 302 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 1: you gave me this plan and this purpose, and now 303 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: that it's not going that way, that other person must 304 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:04,360 Speaker 1: be growing up instead of saying, Hey God, I don't 305 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:07,359 Speaker 1: know what you're doing right now, but I'm gonna be patient. 306 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 1: I'm gonna wait through it because I trust you. Whatever 307 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 1: is happening right now, I trust that it's gonna end 308 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 1: up good because your plan is always good. And I 309 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,959 Speaker 1: thought that this was the right plan. I was wrong. 310 00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,119 Speaker 1: I was wrong thinking that this plan was your plan. 311 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 1: But it's not looking like it is. And so I'll 312 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,360 Speaker 1: wait and I'll continue to praise you and trust you 313 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: and trust your plan, and I won't blame her. She's 314 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,080 Speaker 1: out of love. This is finding God. Is just another 315 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 1: one of the many excuses girls or guys will use 316 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,240 Speaker 1: when they're out of love and they need a break. 317 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,920 Speaker 1: Because the truth is, if she was just totally into 318 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 1: you and full of love, then she would find a 319 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 1: way around whatever she's dealing with and stay with you. 320 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,640 Speaker 1: But that's just another excuse she's using. I'm not saying 321 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: it's a bad excuse. I'm just saying it is an 322 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,679 Speaker 1: excuse because she's fallen out of love. You gotta have 323 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:02,160 Speaker 1: peace with that. What your experiencing, its heartbreak. You got 324 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: to wait it out. You got to lean into your friends. 325 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 1: You got to pray about it. You say you're a believer, 326 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,320 Speaker 1: pray about it, and go God. I don't know what 327 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 1: you're doing here, but I trust you. I trust you. 328 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,240 Speaker 1: It hurts. It hurts right now, but I trust that 329 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,000 Speaker 1: this pain is meaningful and it's gonna matter, and this 330 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: pain will be used for something to teach me something 331 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,480 Speaker 1: or something I'm going to learn so that I will 332 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:26,119 Speaker 1: be better for you later on. That's the way you 333 00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:28,520 Speaker 1: got to do it. That's the way you got to 334 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,600 Speaker 1: do it, buddy. Thanks for the email. Let's hit one 335 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:35,960 Speaker 1: more here. It says, subject line big changes and fake friends. 336 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,680 Speaker 1: Hey Grayyar'd like to stay anonymous here? My question is 337 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 1: I play football, was and some big things have happened 338 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 1: with colleges reaching out and now people who aren't my friends, 339 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,919 Speaker 1: some people who I never see, people that used to 340 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:52,040 Speaker 1: bully me and are bullying my other friends are now 341 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 1: trying to be my friends now and act like they 342 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 1: have known me since forever. What is your advice to 343 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,760 Speaker 1: handle these fake friends? Thank you? Love excuse me? Thank you? 344 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 1: Gyegy Yeah. Question anonymous. Congrats on your football recruiting. That's 345 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:12,399 Speaker 1: pretty cool. What's your advice to handle these fake friends? 346 00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 1: Love them? That's my advice. What's your advice to handle 347 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:21,399 Speaker 1: these fake friends? Love them? Yeah? Stop judging them for 348 00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 1: being fake? Who are you to know? Who are you 349 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:26,720 Speaker 1: to know? Just because you haven't known them before and 350 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:30,359 Speaker 1: now they're reaching out to you, you're automatically assuming that 351 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,679 Speaker 1: they're bad people and they're trying to cling onto you 352 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,159 Speaker 1: because you have some kind of new popularity or some 353 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,080 Speaker 1: kind of new value in football. Hey, let it go. 354 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,160 Speaker 1: Let it go now? If you see bullying, call them out. 355 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 1: Now now they're your friends, or now they're your new acquaintances. Right, 356 00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,760 Speaker 1: so now call them out and say, hey, man, I 357 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: don't think you guys should be bullying my friends. So 358 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,240 Speaker 1: now you have a platform to stand on to call 359 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,879 Speaker 1: them out. But other than that, I sit back. I 360 00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,160 Speaker 1: don't judge them. We all I'll become fake friends at 361 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:04,480 Speaker 1: some point to somebody, whether we can help it or not. 362 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,800 Speaker 1: We're humans, and we're tribal creatures, and we lean into 363 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 1: certain tribes and when people enter a new tribe, we 364 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,560 Speaker 1: latch onto them. And this football recruiting thing you're in 365 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 1: is like a new tribe. And so there's other guys 366 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,400 Speaker 1: that are like, hey, he's part of our tribe, now 367 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:21,520 Speaker 1: bring him in. That doesn't mean that they're fake. Even 368 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 1: if they are, that doesn't mean we hate them or 369 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 1: we avoid them, or we'd be mean to them or 370 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,720 Speaker 1: snarky to them. We just love them. It's very difficult 371 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: to do that, but at least you can call him out, 372 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:35,399 Speaker 1: if for bullying, we don't ever want that. But for 373 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,680 Speaker 1: the people that just came out of nowhere and they're 374 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 1: reaching out to you, maybe they're just legitimately happy for you. 375 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:43,679 Speaker 1: You ever think about it, Maybe they're just really happy 376 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 1: for your success because maybe they didn't see it coming 377 00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:50,440 Speaker 1: and you proved everybody wrong, and they're like, man, that 378 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: guy proved everybody wrong, and now all these colleges want him. 379 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 1: I'd like to get to know that guy. I want 380 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: to know that guy a little bit better now because 381 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,920 Speaker 1: he defeated a bunch of odds that I didn't think 382 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: he could have defeated. And I want that to rub 383 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 1: off on me because there's things I can't do and 384 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,399 Speaker 1: I want people like that in my life. You ever 385 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:12,360 Speaker 1: think about it, maybe that's these guys just love them. 386 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 1: I'll take a break and be right back. Hey, thanks 387 00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 1: for listening to the podcast. Have you tried ye Ye 388 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 1: Jerky yet? Well, I'm gonna bet it's the best beef 389 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,480 Speaker 1: jerky you've ever had in your entire life. It's a 390 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 1: bold statement, but I'm willing to make it. Go to 391 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,200 Speaker 1: EEE dot com to get you some. Also, if you 392 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,240 Speaker 1: ever want to connect with me or get a personal 393 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:37,960 Speaker 1: message from me a video message, go to cameo dot 394 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,440 Speaker 1: com slash Grangersmith. I could give you a birthday shout out, 395 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 1: anniversary shout out. Maybe some uplifting stories for you. Whatever 396 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 1: you want from right here on my phone, I will 397 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: make a video and send it to you customize to you. 398 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,399 Speaker 1: You could also download the cameo app and search for 399 00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:57,440 Speaker 1: me Grangersmith, or go to cameo dot com slash Grangersmith. 400 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,200 Speaker 1: All right, moving on to the next question. The subject 401 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,920 Speaker 1: line says, across country move. Hey grangear. My name is Chelsea. 402 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: I'm twenty two from a small town in Nova Scotia, Canada. 403 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: My boyfriend recently accepted a job in Alberta, which is 404 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 1: literally across the country from where I am now, and 405 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: my plan is to go with him and find work 406 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 1: out there. The closer it gets to the moving date, 407 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: the more nervous I get about the move, especially because 408 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 1: it's not like I could just jump in the car 409 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 1: and drive a couple hours to go home. Any advice 410 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 1: on how to deal with the anxiety of a huge 411 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:32,879 Speaker 1: move would be appreciated. Thank you so much. I'm a 412 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: big fan of your music, flog podcast and beautiful family. 413 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:39,480 Speaker 1: God bless Chelsea. Chelsea, thank you for the kind words. 414 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 1: Thank you for the email and shout out to Nova Scotia. 415 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:48,320 Speaker 1: I love Nova Scotia. Here's the deal. I'm gonna just 416 00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: be tough love for you, Chelsea, as you know that 417 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,280 Speaker 1: I like to do on this podcast, because it would 418 00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:56,359 Speaker 1: waste your time if I just told you what you 419 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 1: wanted to hear. But the truth is, I don't think 420 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 1: i'd move for a boyfriend. If you were engaged, you 421 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,600 Speaker 1: had a ring on your finger, I would start thinking 422 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: about it. If you're married, of course you're gonna go 423 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,240 Speaker 1: with them. So my suggestion to you right now is 424 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: because you're kind of feeling this anxiety and I think 425 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 1: that's kind of part of your instincts saying I'm not 426 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,120 Speaker 1: sure about this. I'm not sure. So now we need 427 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,960 Speaker 1: to pump the brakes and listen to this instinct for 428 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:29,440 Speaker 1: a second here and think about it with our brain 429 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:33,720 Speaker 1: and go, hmm, I don't know if I'm ready for this. 430 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:35,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm ready to be away from 431 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: my family and everything I know in all of my friends, 432 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:41,000 Speaker 1: in every career path I've ever thought about. That's here 433 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: in Nova Scotia because as you've listened to many of 434 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: these emails, this relationship might not work out. Then you're 435 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,480 Speaker 1: probably thinking, no, this one's different, this one's gonna work out. Okay, 436 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,240 Speaker 1: fair enough. I don't mean to be speaking for you here, 437 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:01,080 Speaker 1: but I would at the very least, I would let 438 00:24:01,119 --> 00:24:03,879 Speaker 1: some time go by as he moves out there, and 439 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,160 Speaker 1: then give it like two months and say, I'm gonna 440 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 1: wait for two months after he's gone before I even 441 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 1: consider anything. And during those two months, I'm gonna look 442 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,200 Speaker 1: for apartments to live in. Don't go live with him. 443 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:19,280 Speaker 1: That's the worst thing you could do is move halfway 444 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,239 Speaker 1: across the country and live with your boyfriend in a 445 00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 1: brand new place. That's a recipe for disaster. I promise 446 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:29,640 Speaker 1: you that is just not gonna work. I would pump 447 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:31,480 Speaker 1: the brakes. I would let a couple months go by, 448 00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,400 Speaker 1: research jobs, opportunities out there, research apartments out there, maybe 449 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,240 Speaker 1: friends that you have that you could stay with and 450 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,760 Speaker 1: be roommates with. And that's gonna take a while. And 451 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,800 Speaker 1: during those couple months, you're gonna put together a lot 452 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 1: of new thoughts, like, hey, this long distance thing actually 453 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:53,960 Speaker 1: can work, or you're gonna put pressure on him to go. Man, 454 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 1: I really miss Chelsea. I should have asked her to 455 00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,920 Speaker 1: marry me when I had a chance. I'm gonna fly 456 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: back to Nova Scotia, get on one knee and pull 457 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,639 Speaker 1: out a ring and say, hey, let's make this a 458 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:06,320 Speaker 1: done deal because I learn now after living all the 459 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 1: way across the country, that I can't live without you. 460 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,159 Speaker 1: But by you just obliging and just going now just 461 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,720 Speaker 1: because you want to be with him, I understand that 462 00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:17,680 Speaker 1: you don't want to be separated from him. That's gonna 463 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 1: be hard. You're worried about that. But by just doing that, 464 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:25,160 Speaker 1: you're just giving him a free pass. You're just giving 465 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: him everything he needs. He's got this new job, he's 466 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,640 Speaker 1: got his girlfriend coming with him, there's no pressure. This 467 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,920 Speaker 1: is easy for him, but this is difficult for you. 468 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,880 Speaker 1: So don't fall into that. I'm not saying he's manipulating 469 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,000 Speaker 1: you in that way. He doesn't even know he's doing that. 470 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,399 Speaker 1: I'm just telling you, dude, good on him. Super easy 471 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,399 Speaker 1: for him. Then you're giving up everything. You don't have 472 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,840 Speaker 1: anything out there in Alberta, so let some time go 473 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:52,880 Speaker 1: by before you make that kind of decision. Let him 474 00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: go first, see it by love you, missya. Let's plan 475 00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 1: on seeing each other in two weeks. Maybe you could 476 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,480 Speaker 1: fly back. Maybe I'll fly out there and stay it 477 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,280 Speaker 1: for a day. And then when you go out there, 478 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: for a day. You're looking around, You're looking for a job, opportunity, 479 00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:09,400 Speaker 1: maybe a future career. You're starting to have a conversation 480 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,720 Speaker 1: with him and like, hey, am I someone you want 481 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: to be with the rest of your life? Like is 482 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,000 Speaker 1: that someone you could see? And if he says yeah, maybe, 483 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,000 Speaker 1: then it's like boom, I'm gone, I'm back out here. 484 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:23,080 Speaker 1: I'm going back to Nova Scotia. But if he's like, yes, 485 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,320 Speaker 1: I have a plan, I'm actually thinking about, you know, 486 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 1: trying to not here really soon. I don't think he's 487 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,600 Speaker 1: gonna say it that way, but then that's now you 488 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:36,120 Speaker 1: could start moving that direction. But pump the brakes. Give 489 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,640 Speaker 1: it a couple months at least, I'd say at least 490 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:42,160 Speaker 1: eight weeks. Let him live there by himself, let him 491 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 1: miss you. It's gonna be so hard for you. You're 492 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 1: gonna be in Nova Scotia. You're gonna be missing him, 493 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 1: You're gonna be texting him, facetiming him, really needing him. 494 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,159 Speaker 1: So you're gonna have to get over that. But avoid 495 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 1: the temptation to say, forget it, I'm just going I'm moving, 496 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 1: because yes, you're gonna miss your parents and your friends 497 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:03,639 Speaker 1: and your job, everything you have, don't do it. Don't 498 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:07,840 Speaker 1: do it. That's my advice. Next question, subject line says, 499 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 1: how do I find God? The gring your. My name 500 00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:12,800 Speaker 1: is Coulton. I'm eighteen from Colorado. My girlfriend has recently 501 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,320 Speaker 1: found a new path with God, and she's been trying 502 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: to figure out how that I might fit into this puzzle. 503 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:21,439 Speaker 1: She makes me realize that maybe I should find my 504 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,160 Speaker 1: own way to rekindle my relationship with Jesus and possibly 505 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,600 Speaker 1: change my ways to better myself and better others around me. 506 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:32,000 Speaker 1: And but how can I do that when my girlfriend 507 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,680 Speaker 1: in this situation has been on my mind constantly. Instead, 508 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,240 Speaker 1: we've been dating a little over two years. I'm afraid 509 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 1: that her path may be different than mine. Thanks love 510 00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:44,160 Speaker 1: all your songs in your podcast, Colton. Colton shout out 511 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 1: to Colorado. Thanks for emailing buddy. I'm gonna knock you 512 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 1: around a little bit. I hope you don't mind, but 513 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:53,199 Speaker 1: I think people kind of expect that by now. You 514 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,399 Speaker 1: should expect if you email me, I'm gonna knock you 515 00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:02,199 Speaker 1: around sometimes. So here's what you're doing you're thinking about. 516 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,879 Speaker 1: I'm gonna use your words finding God so that you 517 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:10,800 Speaker 1: could better your relationship with the girl. This is totally backwards. 518 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: We're talking, Colton, we're talking about life and death. We're 519 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: talking about your eternal life in heaven or hell. That's 520 00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 1: what we're talking about. And you're saying, I think I 521 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:27,080 Speaker 1: might try to figure out this puzzle, as if God 522 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 1: is a puzzle or a riddle or a or as 523 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 1: if he's a path that we try to find and 524 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:37,840 Speaker 1: it's hidden and we gotta unlock this secret key. And 525 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,240 Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna go do that so that I 526 00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:45,280 Speaker 1: can get better with my girlfriend so that she's gonna 527 00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,200 Speaker 1: like me more, because she's kind of putting pressure on 528 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 1: me to get closer to God so that she likes 529 00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 1: me more. And that is totally backwards, Coulton, totally Man, 530 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 1: I'm gonna knock you around here because I'm gonna say this, 531 00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: this is a waste of time. You try to find 532 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:06,960 Speaker 1: God and try to find this puzzle peace and try 533 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,880 Speaker 1: to rekindle your relationship with Jesus as a waste of time. 534 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 1: You might as well go get another hobby, go do 535 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 1: something else, go find another girl. All those things are 536 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:19,280 Speaker 1: easier than what you're saying. Because what you're saying is impossible. 537 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: You can't find a path to God. You can't work 538 00:29:22,280 --> 00:29:23,880 Speaker 1: your way to God. Remember what I read out of 539 00:29:23,880 --> 00:29:30,320 Speaker 1: Ephesians at the beginning of this podcast. Jesus finds you 540 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:39,360 Speaker 1: through faith, which is a gift by grace. And your 541 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,560 Speaker 1: faith is dead if you don't see any fruits from it. 542 00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 1: If you see no works from the fruit from the faith, 543 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:48,520 Speaker 1: then it's dead. You don't have any so it's a 544 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: total waste of time. Instead, you need to hear the 545 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 1: gospel that God came into our lives two thousand years ago, 546 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 1: became the perfect man, the life of example, a perfect 547 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,440 Speaker 1: example abolish the law, not because the law wasn't good, 548 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:09,640 Speaker 1: but because we couldn't do it. So he comes in, 549 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:12,960 Speaker 1: dies on the cross with his blood and takes that 550 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:16,760 Speaker 1: sacrifice as a substitute for us because we couldn't do it. 551 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,920 Speaker 1: Three days later, resurrected from the dead. We have faith 552 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,640 Speaker 1: in that story, that gospel. We have faith in that 553 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:29,360 Speaker 1: we become His children. And then that faith results in 554 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 1: the fruit. And part of the fruit is you're gonna 555 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 1: want to read your Bible. Part of the fruit is 556 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,200 Speaker 1: you're gonna want to go to church and be around 557 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,760 Speaker 1: more people that think that way because you feel radically different. 558 00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,880 Speaker 1: You notice the difference in me over the course of 559 00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: this podcast, go back to episode one and listen to 560 00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 1: now episode one forty six. You could see the difference 561 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 1: in me. That's not because of something I did. That's 562 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: just the fruit of a faith that was a gift 563 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 1: to me by grace from hearing that gospel. That's the 564 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,760 Speaker 1: most important thing I could tell you. You try to 565 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:04,480 Speaker 1: get close to God, you'll never find him. Every other 566 00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,720 Speaker 1: religion will tell you that work towards God, work towards God, 567 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 1: get rekindled this puzzle piece, or however you said. But 568 00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,240 Speaker 1: then Ephesians too says by grace you have been saved 569 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,960 Speaker 1: through faith. It is not your own doing. It is 570 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:23,200 Speaker 1: the gift of God, not a result of works, so 571 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:26,040 Speaker 1: that no one may boast, for we are His workmanship, 572 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: created in Christ Jesus, for good works which God prepared beforehand, 573 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:35,600 Speaker 1: that we should walk in them. Buddy, you either need 574 00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:41,120 Speaker 1: a new girlfriend or you're looking at this is completely wrong. 575 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:45,160 Speaker 1: And Colton, I love you, bro, And if I didn't 576 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 1: love you, I would just say, yeah, man, just fake it, dude, 577 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,200 Speaker 1: Just fake it and get close to this girl. That's 578 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 1: the way to do it. Just tell her. You're getting 579 00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 1: close to God. Just make whatever you can patch it 580 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 1: up so that you can get better with your girl. 581 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: That would be hating you, dude. That would be hating you. 582 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,600 Speaker 1: If I told you that, after I've read what the 583 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: Bible says, and after I've seen that the Bible is 584 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:13,520 Speaker 1: true through millions of reasons, I would be hating you 585 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,880 Speaker 1: if I didn't tell you. But you're going about this 586 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:21,200 Speaker 1: the whole wrong way. Okay, I think it was clear. 587 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,640 Speaker 1: Let me go to this. I have so many questions y'all, 588 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,760 Speaker 1: and I just I appreciate y'all sending questions. I love it. 589 00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,600 Speaker 1: I love that you guys send me questions. Here's one 590 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,480 Speaker 1: that says subject line's scared of graduating college. Hey Granger, 591 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,880 Speaker 1: my name is Billy. I'm twenty two. I'm a senior 592 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:43,160 Speaker 1: at Belmont University in Nashville. Belmont has given my Belmont 593 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,000 Speaker 1: has given my some incredible I think you meant me. 594 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,360 Speaker 1: Bellmont has given me some incredible opportunities that I don't 595 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,240 Speaker 1: think I would have gotten anywhere else. But I'm scared 596 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,120 Speaker 1: that I might not have a job in the music 597 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 1: industry coming out of college. I'm mainly interested in music publishing, 598 00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,160 Speaker 1: but I'm also considering artist management. Do you have any 599 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 1: advice forgetting started in the industry or any advice in general? 600 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,880 Speaker 1: Thanks so much, love the podcast, especially on long road 601 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:08,360 Speaker 1: trips back home. Your advice has helped me a lot 602 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 1: over the past year. Best Billy, Billy, congrats bro graduating 603 00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,560 Speaker 1: Belmont As. What a great school, What an incredible opportunity 604 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:21,280 Speaker 1: you have. Now, this is nothing to be scared about. 605 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,479 Speaker 1: It's nothing to be scared about. It just depends on 606 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 1: how bad do you want to be in the music business. 607 00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:27,640 Speaker 1: That would be my question to you, how bad do 608 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,760 Speaker 1: you want to do this? And this is where I 609 00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: wish we were sitting around a campfire together. I'd say, Billy, 610 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: how bad do you want to be in the music business? 611 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,840 Speaker 1: And you would give me an answer, and I would say, 612 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:39,720 Speaker 1: do you want to be in it bad enough to 613 00:33:39,720 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: do it for free? That's the question? Do you want 614 00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,000 Speaker 1: to do this bad enough to do it for free? 615 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:53,120 Speaker 1: And go deliver pizzas in the afternoons. That's what I 616 00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,520 Speaker 1: want you to think about. And you're thinking, you're telling 617 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:58,600 Speaker 1: me I just got a college education and paid all 618 00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 1: this boatloads of money so that I go deliver pizzas, 619 00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:05,479 Speaker 1: and I'm saying, do you want you want it that bad? 620 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:10,800 Speaker 1: Then yes, because in the music business, unfortunately, it's really 621 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:13,680 Speaker 1: about who knows you. You notice I say it that way. 622 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,160 Speaker 1: Instead of saying it's who you know, it's who knows 623 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,879 Speaker 1: you like, who could vouch for you, who believes in you, 624 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,319 Speaker 1: And so many times, man, that's going to come out 625 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,719 Speaker 1: of a free internship where you just go into music 626 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: publishing or artist management that you're talking about here and 627 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:34,759 Speaker 1: just say, Hey, my name is Billy graduate of Belmont University. 628 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,719 Speaker 1: I've got a music business degree or whatever it might be, 629 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:43,239 Speaker 1: and I love music publishing. This is my passion. I 630 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,319 Speaker 1: love everything about it, and I want to start in 631 00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:47,960 Speaker 1: the mailroom. I'm going to work here at this publishing 632 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,840 Speaker 1: company in the mail room, and I'm want to do 633 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:54,520 Speaker 1: it for free because I want you to see how 634 00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: I could prove to you that I'm the right person 635 00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:59,239 Speaker 1: for this job and that I have longevity to be 636 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:03,200 Speaker 1: in this business a lo long long time. Hey, I'll 637 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,840 Speaker 1: deliver trash. I will I will go out and empty 638 00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 1: the dumpsters. I'll bring coffee to everyone in the morning. 639 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: I'll do whatever it takes, because Billy, you can't expect 640 00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 1: to just walk in and you get a plugging job 641 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:18,480 Speaker 1: and you're just pitching songs to big producers. By you 642 00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:21,359 Speaker 1: big artist, That's not where you're gonna go. You're gonna 643 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,799 Speaker 1: be an assistant or a trash man, or in the 644 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,440 Speaker 1: mail room, and you're gonna do it for minimum wage 645 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:29,160 Speaker 1: or free because a lot of other people want it 646 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 1: bad enough to do it for free. That's a problem 647 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 1: in the music business. I don't love that I have 648 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 1: to say that, but that's the truth. You're gonna have 649 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:40,200 Speaker 1: to prove yourself by being in front of them and 650 00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:43,799 Speaker 1: doing everything great, showing up early, staying late, making the 651 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,880 Speaker 1: best coffee, always, making sure you're taking out the trash, 652 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:51,560 Speaker 1: your your your mail room is immaculately perfect. That's what 653 00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:53,920 Speaker 1: you're gonna have to do. How bad do you want it? Billy? 654 00:35:54,719 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 1: Is it that bad? Is it that bad? Question? Here? 655 00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,560 Speaker 1: Subject line says, Hey, gret your my name is David. 656 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,400 Speaker 1: I own a barbershop and I'm looking to expand, but 657 00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:09,400 Speaker 1: I'm nervous to make the jump. I know I'll be 658 00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,200 Speaker 1: responsible for other people's income. Any advice I'm taking on 659 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:16,719 Speaker 1: such a big task, David, congrats man, this is a 660 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 1: cool opportunity. I would say anytime you're thinking about expanding 661 00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:22,680 Speaker 1: a business, you need to do a lot of market research. 662 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 1: You need to make sure that this is something that 663 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,480 Speaker 1: you can handle, and so you take it in small steps. 664 00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:33,640 Speaker 1: You're not just gonna jump into a big lease and 665 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,400 Speaker 1: fill up a bunch of chairs with a bunch of 666 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:39,360 Speaker 1: barbers that you're gonna have to pay and just to 667 00:36:39,360 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 1: expect that things are going to go great, you need 668 00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:43,880 Speaker 1: to have some kind of research involved in that and 669 00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 1: doing that, I would go to every big barbershop that 670 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 1: you know and find the owner and sit down with them. So, hey, 671 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,520 Speaker 1: my name is David. I'm from a town, a couple 672 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:57,920 Speaker 1: of towns over here, and I really need some advice. 673 00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:01,240 Speaker 1: I'm looking to expand and you've done it. You've obviously 674 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:04,080 Speaker 1: done a great job. You have a really nice barbershop. 675 00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,840 Speaker 1: Can you have your pin and pad ready, David? So 676 00:37:07,880 --> 00:37:10,680 Speaker 1: it's like, hey, can you walk through step by step 677 00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,279 Speaker 1: on things I need to know? And he's gonna lay 678 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:14,760 Speaker 1: it out for you. And then you go to another 679 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 1: barbershop one town over and you do the same thing, 680 00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:22,040 Speaker 1: pen and paper, just diligently writing everything, soaking it in 681 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:24,399 Speaker 1: like a sponge. Some of the stuff you're going to take, 682 00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,319 Speaker 1: some of the stuff you're not. That's okay. You're gonna 683 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,680 Speaker 1: get a consensus by talking to a bunch of people 684 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,040 Speaker 1: in this industry. So the last question is about music business. 685 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,640 Speaker 1: I know that very well. I don't know the barbershop industry. 686 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,120 Speaker 1: So I would say, make sure you're not going to 687 00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:43,359 Speaker 1: dive into this without knowing exactly how you're getting into it, 688 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,319 Speaker 1: without exactly knowing how much these chairs are going to cost, 689 00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:47,880 Speaker 1: and how much these clippers are going to be, and 690 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,560 Speaker 1: how much how much I'm going to lease these chairs 691 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: for to other people? And do I have other people 692 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:55,480 Speaker 1: ready to lease? Like, you're not gonna have empty chairs 693 00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,520 Speaker 1: sitting there. You got to have people that you know 694 00:37:57,600 --> 00:37:59,960 Speaker 1: that are ready to fill in and they've got cash 695 00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:01,839 Speaker 1: and they're ready to go. They got a monthly lease 696 00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,040 Speaker 1: with you and they're ready to do it. So that's 697 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,239 Speaker 1: how you would expand is having full knowledge of the situation. 698 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,360 Speaker 1: And if you do, your anxiety is going to go away. 699 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:16,719 Speaker 1: You're gonna have confidence that replaces that anxiety. Good luck, buddy, 700 00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna come get a haircut there one day. Next 701 00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:21,920 Speaker 1: question sepu Cline says first Love. Hey, Grange, I want 702 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:24,200 Speaker 1: to remain anonymous, but my girlfriend broke up with me. 703 00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:27,680 Speaker 1: We're both seventeen, and I still want to be friends 704 00:38:27,719 --> 00:38:29,840 Speaker 1: with her because she's made an impact on me and 705 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 1: I have amazing memories with her. We also go to 706 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:34,400 Speaker 1: the same high school, and I don't want anything awkward 707 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:36,920 Speaker 1: between us. The only thing is it hurts when I 708 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:39,239 Speaker 1: talk when I think about her. What do you think 709 00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 1: I should do well, anonymous? This is good old fashioned heartbreak, 710 00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:50,720 Speaker 1: and this is difficult. It's difficult to live a life 711 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,560 Speaker 1: where you're constantly around the person that you're hurting for. 712 00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:56,560 Speaker 1: It's very hard. That's why I say, usually you want 713 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:00,080 Speaker 1: to cut them off, but sometimes in your situation, you 714 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,600 Speaker 1: can't cut them off because you're going to see them 715 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,799 Speaker 1: every day and you have mutual friends. So one thing 716 00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 1: to do is go to her with this and just say, hey, 717 00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,400 Speaker 1: maybe write an email so you don't have to be 718 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:13,239 Speaker 1: face to face. Just say I want to let you 719 00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 1: know that I am hurting over this relationship and I 720 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:21,040 Speaker 1: am going to need some space because it hurts when 721 00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:24,160 Speaker 1: I think about you. But I don't want to put 722 00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,160 Speaker 1: in jeopardy any of our mutual friends. And I don't 723 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:28,880 Speaker 1: want it to be awkward when I see you. So 724 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:31,120 Speaker 1: I'm letting you know right now that I'm going to 725 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,600 Speaker 1: put a smile on my face, that I'm not going 726 00:39:33,680 --> 00:39:36,440 Speaker 1: to be weird around our mutual friends, that I'll be 727 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:38,560 Speaker 1: happy to see you in the hall, But just to 728 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:40,799 Speaker 1: let you know, I'm going to avoid you in any 729 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,080 Speaker 1: other situation, I'm going to block you on Facebook. I 730 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,759 Speaker 1: don't want to see what you're doing. It's nothing against you. 731 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,040 Speaker 1: This is me trying to protect my heart because it 732 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:52,600 Speaker 1: really hurts. And then anonymous, When enough time goes by 733 00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 1: and you're doing this, you might feel like a robot 734 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 1: at first, like you're putting on a fake smile and 735 00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,360 Speaker 1: you're passing her in the hall. That's going to be natural. 736 00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 1: But after time it gets a little bit easier, and 737 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:06,120 Speaker 1: then a little bit easier, and she meets somebody, then 738 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:11,200 Speaker 1: you meet somebody, and then she slowly fades away. That's 739 00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:16,759 Speaker 1: the story of heartbreak. That's what's gonna happen. Next question, 740 00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:19,200 Speaker 1: subject Gliine says relationship problems. Hey Grandeur, I'd like to 741 00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:24,560 Speaker 1: remain anonymous. I'm from Sarahville, Tennessee, Severville, Tennessee, me and 742 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,160 Speaker 1: My girlfriend have been together for a year and we 743 00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,520 Speaker 1: fight all the time, and we've now been on break 744 00:40:29,560 --> 00:40:32,240 Speaker 1: for two months because old messages and photos on my phone, 745 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:33,960 Speaker 1: and I don't know if I should keep fighting for 746 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,839 Speaker 1: her or let her go. Love your music and all 747 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:41,040 Speaker 1: your shows. Say hey to Earle for for me. Anonymous 748 00:40:41,080 --> 00:40:45,319 Speaker 1: shout out to Tennessee, thanks for the question. You have 749 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,120 Speaker 1: been in a relationship for a year, you fight all 750 00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:51,640 Speaker 1: the time, you're on a break because of old messages 751 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:55,799 Speaker 1: and photos on your phone. First of all, it's time 752 00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:59,120 Speaker 1: to go through your phone and delete that stuff. Get 753 00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,680 Speaker 1: rid of those photo, whatever you're talking about, get rid 754 00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,560 Speaker 1: of those messages that hurt her, get rid of it. 755 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,520 Speaker 1: I don't think that's gonna immediately help things, because you 756 00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:11,520 Speaker 1: guys have been fighting all the time, and you're on 757 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:13,880 Speaker 1: a really long break, like two months is a really 758 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:17,440 Speaker 1: long break that sounds more like a break up. So 759 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,560 Speaker 1: you want to keep fighting for her? How bad do 760 00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:23,000 Speaker 1: you want to fight? So, just like that guy that 761 00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,200 Speaker 1: wanted to get into music business, I would say, how 762 00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:28,640 Speaker 1: bad do you want to fight for her? Bad enough 763 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:32,640 Speaker 1: to change your ways and delete everything and start over 764 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:38,120 Speaker 1: and stop screwing up and stop fighting her. And when 765 00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 1: she says something you don't agree with, you don't attack it. 766 00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 1: You just treat it with grace and forgive her for 767 00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:46,319 Speaker 1: anything she might have done. Because you can't control what 768 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:50,719 Speaker 1: she does. You can control what you do, and so 769 00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:52,919 Speaker 1: you just treat it with grace. You treat with love, 770 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:58,120 Speaker 1: with respect, with honor. You don't initiate fights, and when 771 00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:01,080 Speaker 1: she tries to fight, you just let it go. Just 772 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:03,839 Speaker 1: go hey, if that's if that's how you feel, I'm 773 00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:06,120 Speaker 1: totally good with that because I love you and honor you. 774 00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:09,799 Speaker 1: And inside you might be thinking no, no, no fight 775 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,600 Speaker 1: or argue? Are you no? You gotta gotta be right. 776 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,439 Speaker 1: There's no point, buddy, There's no point in being right 777 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:21,160 Speaker 1: when it's gonna hurt her or hurt your relationship. So 778 00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,640 Speaker 1: either you're gonna break up and this is the end. 779 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,320 Speaker 1: If you're not willing to compromise what I just said, 780 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,880 Speaker 1: or if you want to fight for her enough and 781 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:33,719 Speaker 1: she's that important to you, you're gonna change your ways, 782 00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:36,560 Speaker 1: delete the stuff that you don't want her to see, 783 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:40,640 Speaker 1: and stop doing it and have grace for her and 784 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:45,839 Speaker 1: forgive her. That's what you could do. Which path do 785 00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:52,200 Speaker 1: you want to take? That's my question. Speaking of questions, 786 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,480 Speaker 1: I love y'all's questions. Thank you for all that you 787 00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:57,920 Speaker 1: send me, and I hope that I'll get more and more. 788 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,040 Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com is how you get 789 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,720 Speaker 1: a hold of me and I'll see y'all next Monday. Yeege. 790 00:43:04,160 --> 00:43:07,160 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining me on the Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate 791 00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:09,399 Speaker 1: all of you guys. You could help me out by 792 00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,319 Speaker 1: rating this podcast on iTunes. If you're on YouTube, subscribe 793 00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,719 Speaker 1: to this channel, hit that little like button and notification 794 00:43:16,840 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 1: spell so that you never miss anytime I upload a video. 795 00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:22,600 Speaker 1: If you have a question for me that you would 796 00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:27,719 Speaker 1: like me to answer, email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com. 797 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:28,759 Speaker 1: Yig