WEBVTT - Throwback Episode: Toughening Up 0:00:00.160 --> 0:00:04.440 Happy, Happy holidays, Brown Ambition Fam, it's mandra here. As 0:00:04.440 --> 0:00:06.920 you guys know, Tiff and I are taking a little 0:00:06.960 --> 0:00:09.280 break before the new year, but we've still got you 0:00:09.360 --> 0:00:12.000 covered with some of our favorite Brown Ambition moments from 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.400 twenty twenty one. All throughout this month, we're looking back 0:00:15.440 --> 0:00:20.160 at memorable conversations and breaking down the most important lessons 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.919 we've learned this year. We can't thank you enough for 0:00:23.000 --> 0:00:26.160 sticking by us in what has become one of our 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:30.400 biggest years for the show ever. So many amazing memories 0:00:30.400 --> 0:00:32.800 from this year and I cannot wait to revisit some 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:36.080 of them with all of you. Guys. Are beloved BA fam. 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.760 In this episode, we are breaking down the importance of 0:00:39.880 --> 0:00:44.360 toughening up. First, Are you overwhelmed or just lazy? That's 0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:48.000 the question social justice leader Tamika D. Mallory posed in 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:52.040 a controversial Instagram post this year. It caused all kinds 0:00:52.040 --> 0:00:55.680 of debate and remains one of our most memorable conversations 0:00:55.680 --> 0:00:59.800 to date. Then, we revisit an inspiring lesson on so 0:01:00.000 --> 0:01:03.680 surviving and thriving through the pandemic with the one and 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:08.440 only founders of Double Dutch Aerobics, Sean and Michelle Clark. 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:12.080 Y'all are gonna love this conversation. I have never wanted 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:15.240 to go dust off my old pair of double Dutch 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:20.080 ropes more than after this inspiring conversation with Sean and Michelle. 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:23.760 So sit back, relax, and let's dive into this week's 0:01:23.800 --> 0:01:39.600 throwback episode. 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:49.360 Hey Hey, Hey, we're back. We're black, We're brown, and its. 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:51.240 Jean, which I could see me like when I get 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:54.240 the hands going. It's giving Auntie realness. 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:56.840 Yes, And I was just gonna say, you are extra 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:00.600 chocolatey today. I'm seeing like the monochrome lip happening. You're 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:02.520 kind of blurry, but I feel like you have a 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:04.560 little bit of bronze a on your eyelid. I don't know. 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:07.280 I woke up like this. I have not even washed 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:07.960 my face today. 0:02:08.040 --> 0:02:10.520 This is oh, shut up, I take it back, but 0:02:10.600 --> 0:02:11.440 you look gorgeous. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:13.200 I mean I put a hit on it. I was like, 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:14.560 did you watch your face today? To be I'm like, 0:02:14.600 --> 0:02:15.799 you know what I did not. 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:18.160 I woke up and I took off my acne patch 0:02:18.200 --> 0:02:20.480 at the last minute, so I was like, they're probably 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:22.600 going to be able to see it. That's where I'm 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:27.160 at today. Happy random vision Wednesday. How are you a 0:02:27.240 --> 0:02:30.959 mandra I am a little frazzled, but I'm doing good. 0:02:31.080 --> 0:02:33.880 I finally, finally, well, I don't even know if I 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:35.800 can say finally. It wasn't like something that I was 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:38.359 thinking about for a long time, but all of a sudden, 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:40.720 I just had this epiphany last week. It's time for 0:02:40.760 --> 0:02:42.800 an admin. It's time for an assistant. 0:02:43.400 --> 0:02:46.679 And not like you like you're gonna say it's time 0:02:46.720 --> 0:02:47.440 for the percolator. 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:49.760 You're like, it's time for the time for It's not 0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:51.480 a percolator, it's acolator. 0:02:52.000 --> 0:02:55.760 No, it's the percolator. You're showing your age. You're so young. 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:58.239 So the original song is time for the percolator. 0:02:58.880 --> 0:03:02.079 So now they change to the tculator whatever they talk 0:03:02.200 --> 0:03:05.160 now literally the original song is the percolator. 0:03:05.160 --> 0:03:08.760 And it's like some of your dance to it right now, like. 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:10.600 It's that slide, like you know, you gotta do the 0:03:10.800 --> 0:03:12.840 it's time for the percolate, like side to side and 0:03:12.880 --> 0:03:15.480 then you got to do your footwork like it's got the. 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.600 Thing you got me just say, okay, young blood, let 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:21.560 me take you aside and teach you something because. 0:03:21.280 --> 0:03:26.000 I was, and it shows. 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:31.400 This is why you need people of all different you know, 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:35.880 ages and backgrounds, because look how much more educated I am. 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:37.760 That you know that you will not embarrass yourself at 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:39.160 the at the next family function. 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:40.720 I hope not. 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:43.680 I hope not. Lord No, I'm a little I'm a 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:47.640 little frazzled, but I I finally I found a wonderful 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:51.280 young woman to help me and be my admin. And 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:54.240 could not have been I'd been at a better time, 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:56.480 because it seems like everything has been a little whack 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:59.120 a doodle the past week, starting with the fact that 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:02.000 somehow I managed to book so I'm going to Atlanta 0:04:02.040 --> 0:04:04.560 for a thing, and I managed to book two flights 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:09.600 to Atlanta. So one day two weeks ago, I was like, okay, 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.560 I finally got details. I'm going to book this flight. 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:14.160 And then five days went by and I don't know what. 0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:16.560 I just forgot that I had done it, and I 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:18.160 was like, oh crap, I got to book this flight. 0:04:18.440 --> 0:04:20.240 I got it, and I set my reminder, and then 0:04:20.279 --> 0:04:21.719 I booked another flight, and then I was looking at 0:04:21.760 --> 0:04:24.039 my calendar and I'm like, why do I have two 0:04:24.040 --> 0:04:27.200 different options one and there are different times leaving and 0:04:27.279 --> 0:04:31.680 different times arriving, Like the brain is just not you 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:36.320 know where she needs be, so referral. I have a 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:38.479 really great I don't even know what to call Marisa. 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:40.960 Marisa is my She's someone that I met in my 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:42.920 last job and she has become I think I've talked 0:04:42.960 --> 0:04:46.360 about her before. She's sort of like my business budgetnistas 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:48.800 how I feel. So she and I actually talk every week, 0:04:48.839 --> 0:04:51.480 and we have both been launching our solo business at 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:53.839 at the same time, and so we just check each other. 0:04:53.839 --> 0:04:56.280 It's like we just ended up having these weekly Friday 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:58.919 calls and Marisa ended up I could talk about her 0:04:58.920 --> 0:05:03.400 all day. But she is powerhouse professional PR REP. And 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:07.640 she is on this mission to give black women opportunities 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:10.120 in PR that they may not otherwise have. And we 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:12.600 were talking about our sponsor word Tune, and I really 0:05:12.680 --> 0:05:14.760 was meaning. What we were talking about is how important 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:18.280 written communication is and if you do not have communication 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:21.440 skills on point, it can really hurt you. But what 0:05:21.600 --> 0:05:24.960 so often happens is people who may have the writing skills, 0:05:25.240 --> 0:05:29.200 they may not have the professional background or specific jobs 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:32.120 in PR to get those opportunities, and they may be 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:33.960 wanting to pivot, but it can be hard for them 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:37.480 to pivot into that career. So Marisa is basically training 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:40.839 and helping people who have those great communication verbal skills, 0:05:40.880 --> 0:05:44.039 written skills, but they just need some training and coaching 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:46.600 and how to do that in the context of public 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:50.039 relations and comms. So anyway, so I was talking to Marisa, 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:52.279 so she's like, it's time, and I said, I know 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:54.919 it's time, and then she happened to be working with 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.960 this young woman named Rock. So Hey, Rocks, I'm adding 0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:03.000 you as my assistant. But I'm excited because literally before 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:06.360 fifteen minutes before we started recording, my little brother Tech 0:06:06.640 --> 0:06:09.479 called me and he's all sound and haggard, and I 0:06:09.520 --> 0:06:11.360 was like, what's wrong, Alex, because I'm staying with him 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:15.000 in Atlanta because Atlanta is the COVID hell mouth right now. 0:06:15.040 --> 0:06:18.039 And He's like, listen, I got the aches, I got 0:06:18.040 --> 0:06:22.400 the chills, I'm not feel I'm fatigued. Meanwhile, he has 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:26.120 had COVID, he is vaccinated, so I just to be 0:06:26.160 --> 0:06:28.719 on the safe side, I'm scrambling, I was. I was like, Rocks, 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:31.520 I got something for you. I need a hotel and 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.800 I have never needed to use the app hotels tonight 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:37.200 more than yeah, I need it now. 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:38.000 Wow. 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:42.680 Yeah, So yeah, I would say, so here's some here's 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:44.799 some unsolicited admin advice. 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:46.719 Give it to me, because I know you've been through 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:52.440 them girls one or two or three or seven definitely 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:53.960 for my team was like is it you? 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:55.880 I'm like, is not me. I've had a lot of 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:57.880 really awesome trauma. 0:06:58.240 --> 0:07:01.000 But no, But what I've would I learned with admins 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:04.840 one it actually like whatever, like give her like a 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:08.159 general name because it's unlikely that Rocks will be with 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:09.520 you for like the next twenty years. You know, you 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:11.560 just never know it's possible, but you never know. So 0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:14.520 you know, my admin's name is her real name is Rose. 0:07:14.960 --> 0:07:18.600 But y'all have ever emailed me professionally or otherwise, it's 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:19.400 always Michelle. 0:07:19.880 --> 0:07:21.240 Whether I've had admin's name. 0:07:21.200 --> 0:07:28.840 Sylvia, Leah, Roseanne, Rose, Talatha, little Candice. I've just had 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:31.440 so many different admins and but either way, in the 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:40.360 inox d Molly Vicky Thomas, about three kims. 0:07:41.440 --> 0:07:43.640 Like all write dmx no but for real. 0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:45.880 So so that's always a good idea because it just 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:47.800 helps us like with continuity, like you know, as your 0:07:47.800 --> 0:07:48.240 brand grows. 0:07:48.280 --> 0:07:48.800 So that's one. 0:07:49.640 --> 0:07:52.120 Yes, yeah, And honestly, I mean, just like honestly, open 0:07:52.160 --> 0:07:55.160 communication is always key, I believe just this is just 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:57.640 in general with like teams and whatever. What I've gotten 0:07:57.680 --> 0:08:01.600 really like good at is like I want my admin 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:04.640 to think what would Tiffany do? So in the beginning, 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:07.800 you know, we talk all the time. As I'm giving 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:11.080 her instruction, I like to give her the backstory. So 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:14.160 I'm like, so, for example, I'm like, you know, let's 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:16.200 just say something for a brand ambition that you've emailed me. 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:18.440 So I'm not just like, oh, just let Mandy know, yeah, 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:21.240 Wednesday's fine. I'm like, so, Mandy's my friend, but we 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:23.960 have a podcast today together, but we're actually really friends. 0:08:24.360 --> 0:08:27.280 And then so it's important because when she emails you 0:08:27.520 --> 0:08:32.480 that way doesn't sound off formal like hello Mandu, you know. 0:08:35.040 --> 0:08:37.560 And actually why not let him? 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:41.319 I'm like, just like, hey girl, anyway, be very scary 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:43.440 and that you're afraid of me. 0:08:44.880 --> 0:08:47.640 So so I just think that like yeah, with admins, 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:50.920 well with anyone anyway, but especially admins, like you know, 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:52.720 giving them kind of like I call it the soap opera, 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:54.040 Like you know, you're like, okay, so this is my 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:54.600 favorite show. 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:56.080 So that's Marcus. 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.679 So Marcus really likes Vanessa, but Vanessa is not luck Marcus, 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:02.319 because it really helps to make like wiser, more holistic 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:04.959 choices when I'm not as you know, as present. 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:06.559 And so that was it, honestly. 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:10.160 But honestly, don't be afraid too because it doesn't take 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:11.720 It took me a long time to realize. 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:13.760 It doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine. 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:15.800 Where I've had admins that weren't a fit and kept 0:09:15.800 --> 0:09:19.240 them for a year and drowned instead. So now I'm like, no, 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:22.240 you know, like there was an admin that we had recently, 0:09:22.280 --> 0:09:24.080 and three days in I was like, yeah, this is 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:25.679 not a fit. And then within a week I was like, 0:09:25.760 --> 0:09:27.040 you know, we wish you well, but this is not 0:09:27.080 --> 0:09:29.319 a fit. I'm not doing that anymore where I'm gonna 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:31.360 suffer for a year when something's not a fit. They 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:33.640 might be a fit someplace else. Because we've had admins 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:35.760 who've been on the team and now they work on 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:38.120 another team, you know, because it was a better fit 0:09:38.160 --> 0:09:40.440 for them there. And then just some people who weren't 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:43.760 just a culture fitted at all. But yeah, like you know, 0:09:43.840 --> 0:09:47.439 because it's such a critical like my COEO Karen is 0:09:47.480 --> 0:09:49.240 my right hand, I tell them and I told. 0:09:49.120 --> 0:09:50.720 Rose, you are my left hand. 0:09:50.800 --> 0:09:54.280 Like You're like you might, you know, if Oprah emails me, 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:57.080 you'll see it before I do, so, like you know, 0:09:57.240 --> 0:10:00.680 like ADMIN sounds like too small or worting compass. 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:05.240 I'm stress like, do you want to be on watch 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:10.680 when Oprah emails? Tiffany be like how does email work? 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:14.560 Because we get some cool stuff that comes through, and 0:10:14.559 --> 0:10:16.640 I'm like, you know, so it's exciting, you know because 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:19.640 some of the people like ADMIN that seems like beneath me 0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:23.360 and I'm like, no, sis, like, oh yes, it's so 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:24.360 critically important. 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:26.920 Yeah, I mean you can come up executive assistant, whatever 0:10:26.920 --> 0:10:29.120 you want to call it, human roll of duct tape. 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:30.760 Just fix all the things, you know what I mean, 0:10:31.520 --> 0:10:34.520 all the teams. Yes, know that, Thank you, thank you. 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:36.959 I think that for me, I learned I made a 0:10:36.960 --> 0:10:39.680 lot of mistakes running a team and building a team 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:41.880 and working with assistants in the past. And one of 0:10:41.880 --> 0:10:45.560 the biggest mistakes that I made was not being able 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:48.760 to particulate what I needed. And I actually still do 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:50.360 this from time to time. We were just in Saint 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:52.680 Louis visiting my mom and I'm just not used to 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:55.240 having help, right, I mean, I have a husband, but 0:10:55.520 --> 0:11:00.920 you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, and my mom. I'm running 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:03.200 around and I'm just like stressed out. It's the first 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:05.480 day we're there. You know, we've thirty we've survived a 0:11:05.520 --> 0:11:08.320 thirty hour road trip, et cetera. And it's I'm trying 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:10.760 to still work and I'm running around rio. We have 0:11:10.800 --> 0:11:13.040 to like give him allergy medicine. We're looking for like 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:16.120 one of those little syringes whatever, but no one knew. 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:18.040 I'm running around with a chicken, like a chicken with 0:11:18.080 --> 0:11:19.200 his head cut off, and I'm just like, I have 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:21.319 this deadline and in my head, in my head, I'm 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:24.000 just like, why isn't my mom more helpful? Like why 0:11:24.080 --> 0:11:26.480 isn't she just like seeing what I need? And she's 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:28.920 and she stopped me, and she's like, I can't help 0:11:29.000 --> 0:11:30.800 you if you don't tell me what you need. And 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:35.560 I need a some ringe and she's like, oh, this one, 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:39.160 and she had anyway, so for me, And that's so anyway, 0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:40.959 So me with me and Rocks, it's going to be 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.720 all about you know, I had I did some introspective 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.400 like thinking about what do I need and what are 0:11:46.400 --> 0:11:49.080 some tasks and all of that so that I'm not 0:11:49.320 --> 0:11:53.000 just bringing someone on who has no direction. Yeah, but 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:57.120 you know all in yes, I hope I Rocks has 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:59.360 a cool career of her own and you know, has 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:01.920 her own business. And it's almost like she has two 0:12:01.960 --> 0:12:04.880 bosses because she also works with Marisa and she knows, 0:12:04.880 --> 0:12:06.640 like you know what I mean. I kind of like that. 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:09.199 I'm like, yeah, if Maurice is on the phone and 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:11.320 I'm just like, hey, you know, I'm your boss now 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:12.400 and just like hang up on Marine. 0:12:12.720 --> 0:12:14.800 I mean I did that. 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:16.720 I make sure she creates while she's there, like an 0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:19.559 s op, right, a scope of work, like what like 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:20.240 we got it. 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:24.040 She's about that business. I had one over the weekend. Yeah, 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:24.960 thats no, that's excellent. 0:12:25.000 --> 0:12:26.720 I'm telling you. We have we have Loom calls. 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:28.760 I don't know if you guys use Loom, not calls, 0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:31.600 but like Loom is like these recordings that we do now. 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.040 So it's like to actually show someone and then you click. 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:38.240 It's like some latrea like our like our tech manager 0:12:38.280 --> 0:12:40.400 on our team kind of like got us used to that. 0:12:40.440 --> 0:12:41.960 It's so helped because I'm not techie. 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:44.160 So like if I'm like trying to figure out how 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:46.160 to do a thing, we have like you know, these 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:48.520 sets of videos like here's how you upload to da 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:51.640 da da, Here's how you you know, use whatever like 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:54.840 tool or resource. And it's just so helpful, those short videos. 0:12:54.880 --> 0:12:58.120 I'm like, oh, that's how you use it. Yeah, oh 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:00.400 that's cute design. 0:13:00.440 --> 0:13:03.120 Here for the website, Shirley uses loom. 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:05.320 Yes, oh yeah, yes, that's why. That's why. No, but 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:08.000 that's great having help. Having help is so good. You 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:11.679 sent me like an Instagram post speaking of which, can we. 0:13:11.640 --> 0:13:12.720 Talk about it? Yes? 0:13:12.880 --> 0:13:13.160 Ken? 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.440 Why didn't we have to? 0:13:15.880 --> 0:13:16.040 Now? 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:17.840 I know you're not on ig like you used to be, 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:19.960 but did you were you aware of it before I 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:20.640 sent you this? 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:22.320 Oh? And so did it blow up? 0:13:22.640 --> 0:13:26.800 Okay, it blew up on this person's page. So this 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:29.440 is and I actually shared it on our stories just 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:33.000 to get some quick feedback from our audience. Because so 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:36.280 this is a post that Tamika D. Mallory posted. And 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.480 if you have ever heard of the Women's March that 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:42.679 happened in twenty seventeen after the inauguration of He who 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:45.400 must not be named, Tamika was one of the founders 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:47.960 of that march, and she has become you got over 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:52.160 a million followers on Instagram she's become a huge social 0:13:52.200 --> 0:13:56.319 activist and she does amazing work. Like this woman is 0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:58.600 a bad, bad woman, and she I mean in a 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:01.200 good way, you know what I mean, She's amazing and 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:01.960 I feel what. 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:04.200 I saw. 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:06.120 This just pop into my feed, this post that she 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:08.720 put up, and I will I will read it to 0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:13.080 you guys too. But my gut reaction was something about 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:16.520 this does not set right with me. But before we 0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:19.320 get into it, because it is, you know, she's been 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:23.120 getting into it. It has over four thousand comments on her 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:25.240 own page, and it's starting to make the rounds on 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:28.240 other black influencer pages. But before we get into it, 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.200 because we do need to talk about it. I think 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.920 I just want to establish that I am not a 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:37.200 huge fan of like cancel people because they said something 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:39.400 a bit toned off or whatever. Like this woman has 0:14:39.440 --> 0:14:42.920 done so much for and still does. She just hosted 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:46.000 an amazing event in Harlem that was free for kids 0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:49.320 and for families anyway, So this maybe was a misstep 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:51.720 in my opinion, but I don't think it at all. 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:54.040 It takes away from her the body of work that 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:55.920 she has done and how much good she has done. 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:59.840 So that's my disclaimer. But here's so here's the post. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.040 It's one of those take a picture of a tweet 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:06.000 and post it things. And she says, IDK, who needs 0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:09.200 to hear this? But you're not overwhelmed. You are lazy 0:15:09.280 --> 0:15:13.560 and unorganized. Wake up earlier, get an agenda, book, create 0:15:13.640 --> 0:15:17.960 a routine, create boundaries, say no, stick to your schedule, 0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:21.800 write down and adhere to your deadlines. You are standing 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:26.600 in your own way. And her caption said, let me 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.160 write a caption here, because it seems people don't understand 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:32.640 that every post is not for every person. There are 0:15:32.640 --> 0:15:34.560 many people who just need to focus on their plan, 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:37.600 stay off the internet and prioritize and stop being lazy. 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:40.240 That's me at times. And this post is for you 0:15:40.320 --> 0:15:42.560 if you know you can do better, and. 0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:45.080 I will leave it there, and then she liked so 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:46.920 she did an updated post just so you know, like 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:50.920 I guess the next post she said she double out yes, 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:52.720 when I read a post that says I don't know 0:15:52.760 --> 0:15:55.400 who needs to hear this? And then I read the 0:15:55.440 --> 0:15:57.520 post and it doesn't apply to me, I move on. 0:15:57.880 --> 0:16:00.600 I don't tell the person who's post to get they 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:03.400 are they are wrong about something they feel is important. 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:05.280 Could it be that it hit you deep. 0:16:06.160 --> 0:16:11.200 Now here's the thing. Here's what I say. Right, you 0:16:11.240 --> 0:16:14.440 are free to post whatever you want, but also people 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.880 are free to respond unless you turned off comments. Right 0:16:18.320 --> 0:16:21.320 and then two. I don't know, girl, because I have 0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:23.600 been on both sides. We're definitely there's times when I've 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.600 just been straight lazy, you know. And there's times when 0:16:26.600 --> 0:16:31.560 I'm overwhelmed. Not because I'm actually overworked. I'm overwhelmed because 0:16:31.600 --> 0:16:37.040 there's underlying stress that is actually causing me. Like I know, 0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:41.520 when I'm feeling stressed, if one nap is not enough, 0:16:41.560 --> 0:16:43.840 like usually I take maybe like forty five minute nap. 0:16:44.160 --> 0:16:46.320 But if I'm like yo, I slept two hours today 0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:48.040 during the day and then I'm still tired and I'm 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:51.120 tired again. One of the fastest ways that my body 0:16:51.120 --> 0:16:55.080 gives me an indication, Tiffany, you are stressed deeply, so 0:16:55.600 --> 0:17:00.000 borderline depressed is I'm sleepy in a way. That's unap. 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:04.600 That's not me being lazy. That is my body saying stop. 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:08.520 We are overwhelmed. For whatever we say, it doesn't necessarily 0:17:08.560 --> 0:17:11.760 mean overworked, but we are overwhelmed and we are physically 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:13.040 slowing you down. 0:17:13.760 --> 0:17:14.800 I think she just missed the mark. 0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:16.720 I mean, I get what she's saying, because certainly, you know, 0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:18.359 there are definitely times when it's like, you know, if 0:17:18.480 --> 0:17:20.280 you really could do a little bit more, or you 0:17:20.320 --> 0:17:24.040 could step up. But to say here's the thing, I 0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:25.639 would have just it would have hit better if it 0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:28.400 was like sometimes we've all been lazy and we need 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:31.400 to get organized, wake up. But to say you're not overwhelmed, 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:34.439 it's like you're making a judgment. You don't know that 0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:37.560 someone's not overwhelmed. You know, you don't know the cause 0:17:37.560 --> 0:17:41.160 if they're overwhelmed. It just it's an easy, lazy post. 0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:42.639 And then to say, oh, well, oh well, oh well, 0:17:42.680 --> 0:17:43.879 if it doesn't apply to you, it's like, well it 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:46.200 doesn't work that way. It says you posted it publicly, 0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:49.520 so you get addressed publicly, and that's okay. That's just 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:53.040 the way the world works. I can freely speak and share, 0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:56.719 and people can freely give me their their feedback, you know, 0:17:56.880 --> 0:17:59.240 so it goes both ways. So I think that it 0:17:59.320 --> 0:18:01.640 was like kind of a miss step there. Although certainly, 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:03.639 sometimes you know, we need a little kick in the behind, 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:05.240 But I don't know that this is it. 0:18:06.160 --> 0:18:09.360 This is a thing, and this is why I'm kind 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:11.240 of like Tiffany, you were right to get off IG 0:18:11.840 --> 0:18:15.040 because this is the danger of being an IG and 0:18:15.200 --> 0:18:18.920 putting yourself You're scrolling through social media land minds is 0:18:18.960 --> 0:18:21.160 how I feel it, and you don't know when you're 0:18:21.160 --> 0:18:24.320 gonna hit one. And I know because as someone who 0:18:24.600 --> 0:18:28.840 who deals with anxiety, and not even I will fully, 0:18:29.000 --> 0:18:31.359 there's a spectrum of anxiety, and I am on the 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:35.520 border of having like a diagnosed anxiety disorder. But I 0:18:35.600 --> 0:18:39.479 have managed and have people in my life who truly 0:18:39.520 --> 0:18:43.920 have debilitating anxiety disorders that stem from things like sexual assault, 0:18:44.200 --> 0:18:47.040 being abused in the past, or they generally just have 0:18:47.640 --> 0:18:51.760 an anxiety disorder. And I put myself in the shoes 0:18:51.760 --> 0:18:54.240 of someone and having also dealt with my own anxiety, 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:57.240 who is just scrolling through their IG feed and they 0:18:57.280 --> 0:18:59.800 see this, And this is where her intention doesn't really 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:04.280 met her, because the thing is the person. Even if 0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:06.720 she says this may not be for everybody, everybody is 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:09.000 going to see it because you posted it publicly, and 0:19:09.040 --> 0:19:11.760 it's very You say tough love, and I agree. I 0:19:11.840 --> 0:19:13.880 have said things like this to people that I love, 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:17.200 a cousin, a sibling. I'm the tough love sibling in 0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:19.280 the family, Like I call it like it is. I'm like, 0:19:19.640 --> 0:19:22.000 you know, which I can do because I think that 0:19:22.040 --> 0:19:25.119