Speaker 1: Welcome back to good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 2: I'm Erica and I'm Mela, and I'm sleepy, which is
Speaker 2: just yawning over he sorry, call me Midy.
Speaker 1: She's over here, chugging.
Speaker 2: Birth control pills, yawning, yelling at her mother's lot happening
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: She's totally fine.
Speaker 3: Guys, everything's perfect.
Speaker 1: You're good, okay?
Speaker 3: Cool?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: Hi, Hi, how are you? I'm good? Happy hump day.
Speaker 1: Do you like my hair?
Speaker 3: It's so cute. I've actually made me feeling.
Speaker 4: I was trying to figure out like maybe if it
Speaker 4: was like to like like to this, like I put
Speaker 4: a braid in it.
Speaker 3: I think it kind of like.
Speaker 2: So I'm in the midst of doing ban two knots,
Speaker 2: which I don't know. Like I was in the shower
Speaker 2: and I was like, I'm so fucking.
Speaker 1: Over my hair. Why did I grow it out? It's
Speaker 1: too much?
Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm gonna do it to what
Speaker 2: Chamila does and get band two nuts. And then the
Speaker 2: moment I started it, I was like, this is a
Speaker 2: horrible idea.
Speaker 3: It's really easy. I can finish that.
Speaker 1: I can't see. It took me literally ten minutes to
Speaker 1: do one part.
Speaker 3: Well, the parts you can't worry about. You gotta just
Speaker 3: say fuck the parts. I just do.
Speaker 1: Well, it's my nigga's birthday on Friday.
Speaker 2: I was trying to Yeah, I was trying to be cute,
Speaker 2: like I was trying to have to see a look
Speaker 2: not just like protective sleep style.
Speaker 4: Well, no one cares about the parts, but also I
Speaker 4: care about the part. You know, your man likes to
Speaker 4: do weird shit like, I mean, he might.
Speaker 1: He might. He might do my hair after tonight. I'm
Speaker 1: sure you will.
Speaker 3: He like pucked your eyebrows.
Speaker 1: I know it's great.
Speaker 2: I have a living facialist, hairstyleist, nail doer.
Speaker 3: Such a cancer I know. Okay, Anyway, we're here, we're
Speaker 3: joined by while they nap podcast Ladies of Wild.
Speaker 1: They nap.
Speaker 4: Thanks, guys, I'm shin and I'm late, and you.
Speaker 1: Guys are in Canada, right we are Drake.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but you said Drake's hometown. Oh my god, I
Speaker 3: love Drake. But now he lives here at our home
Speaker 3: down the valley.
Speaker 2: About it, Listen, I feel like you know what that's
Speaker 2: it's okay, Like we're okay with it, but just remember
Speaker 2: where he was.
Speaker 1: Does he actually live here? Yeah, everywhere.
Speaker 4: I've been to his house, his house twice, so have you?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is he there? Yeah? Wait? When was this?
Speaker 3: Every summer he has a party and I go, what
Speaker 3: are you talking about? Where have you been?
Speaker 1: I've been? I don't know, I've been here with you?
Speaker 1: And why it wasn't I invited to the summer party.
Speaker 3: Always call me a club groupie, and so you don't
Speaker 3: get invited. Wait, let me tell you this week.
Speaker 1: No, that was you were trying to go. She was
Speaker 1: trying to go to a fucking.
Speaker 3: And we missed it and it was amazing.
Speaker 1: Was the best?
Speaker 3: She went, Yeah, so let me tell you this is
Speaker 3: the most la shit ever.
Speaker 4: So I'm here, I'm so tired, like I kind of
Speaker 4: got a bed that my my homegirl calls.
Speaker 3: I'm like hello, I'm like yeah, She's like, Drake's DJ
Speaker 3: just called me.
Speaker 4: I'm so what, So did you want us to come over?
Speaker 4: She's like no, I did they want to go out?
Speaker 4: I'm like, I don't want to go out. I don't
Speaker 4: want to be like a group where. She's like, I'm like, listen,
Speaker 4: if we go into his house, it's like this intimate
Speaker 4: setting that probably have crab legs. This is the most
Speaker 4: La conversation. And then she calls me the next day
Speaker 4: because we ended up not going. She's like, we missed everything.
Speaker 4: Drake DJ told me Kylie was there. It was a small,
Speaker 4: intimate terrible.
Speaker 3: I know I was.
Speaker 4: Anyway, they went to the house, and they went to
Speaker 4: the Delight, they went to the Lilas and the meeting
Speaker 4: that Danielle didn't go because I was too tired and
Speaker 4: she was tired, and I should have just went because
Speaker 4: for what I don't know.
Speaker 3: But I could have plugged good Moms. I could have
Speaker 3: told Drake about good mom.
Speaker 1: I was over here shaming her. I'm like, you guys
Speaker 1: are ratchet club huse.
Speaker 3: Every time I want to go to her, she shames me.
Speaker 2: But I just feel like the clubbing days are just
Speaker 2: whack in La. There's no fucking point.
Speaker 3: It is the whack. But like, Drake's house is really nice.
Speaker 4: You weren't going to Drin's house, I know, but I'm saying,
Speaker 4: if he was invited, it was another full party, I
Speaker 4: would go, even though I'm going to there's so many hoes.
Speaker 3: You're like, she's self inviting herself, Drake, if you're listening,
Speaker 3: you better be.
Speaker 1: I'm only going to his home. I refuse to meet
Speaker 1: him in public space.
Speaker 4: Wait, okay, let me also get now that we're all
Speaker 4: the topics, let me just go ahead and tell you
Speaker 4: the last time went to Drake's house. Right, there's all
Speaker 4: these bitches, you know, probably like ten to one to
Speaker 4: the niggas, and they're all like wearing a shitload of makeup.
Speaker 4: It's four hundred degrees in calabasses, it's melting off the
Speaker 4: allbring weaves and all looking like trying to be cut
Speaker 4: by the pool. He has all these things, food, liquor,
Speaker 4: and then he has this huge obstacle course, like this
Speaker 4: blow up obstacle course, and it's been dry all day.
Speaker 4: Not one single bitch has gotten on it because you know,
Speaker 4: everyone's trying to be sexy and are like you're ready,
Speaker 4: we gotta get on this.
Speaker 1: We're like.
Speaker 4: My baby, my baby daddy is with us. We made
Speaker 4: him sit at the end to time who made it out?
Speaker 4: But only two bitches at Drake's house Like, oh you Marks,
Speaker 4: I'm like climbing climbing up the sta.
Speaker 2: One me of course athletic for you, Yes, why are
Speaker 2: you shocked that I'm shocked that you're athletic? I've never
Speaker 2: seen you do one athletic thing in my house.
Speaker 3: Fight you right now, I wrestle you to the ground.
Speaker 3: That's amazing. Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry about my drake rant.
Speaker 3: I'm clearly in love obviously, I'm want to take that. Like,
Speaker 3: so you've been to Toronto, then you must know what.
Speaker 3: Oh I haven't. No, I've only been to Vancouver. I
Speaker 3: want to come to Toronto though, Yeah, you need to.
Speaker 2: Vancouver's amazing though, absolutely so. We call Vancouver like the
Speaker 2: la of Canada.
Speaker 3: Oh really.
Speaker 5: Every person from California that we talked to were like,
Speaker 5: have you been to Canada?
Speaker 3: It's always Vancouver.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've been to Canada.
Speaker 2: I've been to Montreal, Vancouver and Toronto, and Montreal is beautiful, gorgeous,
Speaker 2: it's just so cold.
Speaker 1: No, they a lot. They speak French there, right, that's
Speaker 1: like the language of language.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like cool, friends, it's like a little bit different,
Speaker 2: but I mean same fiv Yeah. Okay, ladies, So tell
Speaker 2: me about your guys. Tell me how you guys started
Speaker 2: your podcast. What's why did you guys start while they mapped?
Speaker 2: Obviously kids, Yeah, that.
Speaker 3: Was like the big one there.
Speaker 5: But I we were on maternity leave and I always
Speaker 5: wanted to start a podcast, but I didn't know what
Speaker 5: I wanted to talk about, and I just didn't want
Speaker 5: to do like, you know, random shit. So I was like,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna wait until something comes to me. And then
Speaker 5: I had a baby and I was like, Okay, I
Speaker 5: like this, this is cool. I have a lot of
Speaker 5: shit to talk about about being a mom, like I
Speaker 5: didn't like I feel like being a first time mom.
Speaker 3: I was just like, what the what the fuck is
Speaker 3: going on?
Speaker 5: Like so much shit was happening, and I'm like, nobody
Speaker 5: told me about this shit, Like no one was like
Speaker 5: why is my whole body falling apart? Like I don't understand,
Speaker 5: and a lot was happening. I felt really lonely. I
Speaker 5: didn't have much friends to talk to because they didn't
Speaker 5: have any kids at the time, or all their kids
Speaker 5: are much older so they couldn't remember. So a mutual
Speaker 5: friend of ours kind of hooked this up and we
Speaker 5: started going on like mom dates.
Speaker 3: I'm laughing at that.
Speaker 2: Now we can stop your fuffles and that's funny way.
Speaker 1: You know, just so you guys know.
Speaker 2: When before we started this interview, Jamila was fully convinced
Speaker 2: that they were married, and then they were lesbian married.
Speaker 4: Well, Erica said, you guys are married, right, and they
Speaker 4: both said yeah, So I figured to each other. I
Speaker 4: mean I was it sounded like this is twenty twenty.
Speaker 4: You can't just say are you married? Then asked too,
Speaker 4: you know that doesn't apply to other people. The two
Speaker 4: people sitting in front of us super.
Speaker 2: Cute and hilarious. We were hooked up, but yeah, that's
Speaker 2: kind of what happened. We were hooked up, and then
Speaker 2: Sen approached me and was like, hey, like you know,
Speaker 2: this is after we had already gone out and like
Speaker 2: spend time with each other.
Speaker 3: She was like yeah, like I kind of have this
Speaker 3: idea to start a podcast. What do you think? And
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, no, I'm okay.
Speaker 2: She was like Nana, I'm good, Like that's okay, that's
Speaker 2: not for me, Like my voice is gross, Like I
Speaker 2: hate the sound of my voice, Like I don't want
Speaker 2: to do that, and like I hate being like bandwagony,
Speaker 2: like I know, like, of course, like you know, these
Speaker 2: at least for everybody, and everyone has their own passions.
Speaker 2: But I felt like the podcasting things like really growing,
Speaker 2: everyone's a podcast? What podcast? But I was like yeah, no,
Speaker 2: I don't want to be a part of that camp.
Speaker 3: And then she's it. She was like Adam, and she's like,
Speaker 3: just try, just try it.
Speaker 2: And then the same friend I hooked this up was like, honestly,
Speaker 2: give it one shot, try one time.
Speaker 3: If you hate it, you hate it. If you like it,
Speaker 3: then fine.
Speaker 2: And then like it came at like a pivotal moment
Speaker 2: where my husband had left to work out of town
Speaker 2: and I was home alone with my daughter, who is
Speaker 2: a blessing, but like Jesus, being home with her by
Speaker 2: myself when she's ten months old, doing all the cooking,
Speaker 2: all the cleaning, everything was fucking exhausting, and I'm like, yo,
Speaker 2: I can't do this, Like I just I need to,
Speaker 2: like I need an outlet. So one day called my
Speaker 2: cousin's mom was like please watch my baby.
Speaker 3: Went to her house. I'm like, yeah, let's record, and
Speaker 3: like I got some shit.
Speaker 2: I was in, Like I was like faceing that mic
Speaker 2: and I just went in and by the end of it,
Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, that was so cathartic.
Speaker 3: I need to do this again, like where it started.
Speaker 2: So it was dope because it's started being it was
Speaker 2: about us truly, like about us, you know, just sharing
Speaker 2: our thoughts and then like in the process of that,
Speaker 2: we built the community, which is pretty cool.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so dope. So you guys are in Canada,
Speaker 1: like what is would you say? Like, well, because I
Speaker 1: know America we're fucked.
Speaker 3: I'm sure, I'm sure you've been watching the news.
Speaker 4: I'm sure you're aware that America's a joke.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, but I know that Canada has been
Speaker 2: in quarantine too, and obviously you guys are still in quarantine.
Speaker 2: You guys have probably been going through the same shit
Speaker 2: as us, as moms who are locked locked.
Speaker 3: Up, don't let me out.
Speaker 1: Locked up with our kids and stuff, and like, well, what's.
Speaker 2: The climate over there in Canada as far as like
Speaker 2: what's happening? Or is everyone really like paranoid? Are they
Speaker 2: all indoors?
Speaker 1: Have you guys broke quarantine?
Speaker 2: Well yeah, well yeah, kids going to summer camp? Are
Speaker 2: they going to go to school?
Speaker 3: Like camp is canceled? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I just my daughter's in camp and I was, you know,
Speaker 2: you know how like chatty broads asked if we've ever
Speaker 2: been like people talk shit?
Speaker 1: What chatty brods ask people if people talk shit? Someone
Speaker 1: talks shit? What on chatty Broad's about us about me
Speaker 1: in the comments.
Speaker 2: What they said, They said that we they only could
Speaker 2: get through half the episode because basically we're bad moms
Speaker 2: because we're black.
Speaker 1: We're bad.
Speaker 3: I've been making everything about brains.
Speaker 2: Black, that that I'm just irresponsible because I have my
Speaker 2: daughter going to camp, and that my man met my
Speaker 2: family and that's just irresponsible and breaking quarantine by letting
Speaker 2: my new boyfriend meet my mom.
Speaker 3: Bitch, did you hear anything said about the na that
Speaker 3: we need.
Speaker 2: To be more immersed with our kids and less worried
Speaker 2: about going out, and that we're boneheads.
Speaker 3: First of all, I want to make it reach. I'm
Speaker 3: not gonna make it Rachel.
Speaker 4: However, Ye Karen, nobody of any other race ever try
Speaker 4: to insult anyone by calling them a bonehead. That that
Speaker 4: one Karen is just not going to do it.
Speaker 3: You're gonna have become a little harder. Babe.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I think I called.
Speaker 3: Her, You responded.
Speaker 1: I responded, I was like.
Speaker 2: First of all, her school's taking the necessary precaution, so
Speaker 2: you can take that up with all the other parents.
Speaker 3: Right, I'll send you their emails.
Speaker 1: And I was like, and what I do with my family?
Speaker 1: Is then your motherfucking business. Didn't say motherfucking because I
Speaker 1: don't want to scare these white people. And then I said,
Speaker 1: you know, there's no name for.
Speaker 2: Name calling, like like sugar bumb or something.
Speaker 1: I said, so bonehead, sugar bum.
Speaker 4: The funniest thing is like you should never come for
Speaker 4: a black woman by calling her a phonehead.
Speaker 1: You're gonna lose. Oh my god. Wow.
Speaker 2: But I'm just wondering, like, are you have you guys,
Speaker 2: like you know, there's a lot of mommy shaming, especially
Speaker 2: a surrounding quarantine, and how what you're doing and who
Speaker 2: you're hanging out with and all those things, like how
Speaker 2: have you guys encountered that out there and how are.
Speaker 3: You dealing with it?
Speaker 5: I feel like people's reaction in Canada is pretty much
Speaker 5: the same in America. People are protesting here that they
Speaker 5: don't want to wear masks.
Speaker 1: Yeah really yeah.
Speaker 5: And then there are people that just don't give a
Speaker 5: shit and are still like going out and doing whatever
Speaker 5: they want to do. And then there are people that
Speaker 5: are paranoid and are indoors at all times. But of course,
Speaker 5: like being a parent, it's hard, Like I don't want
Speaker 5: to stay home every day with my kid, like I'm crazy,
Speaker 5: I'm going crazy. Yeah, and like we have toddlers, so.
Speaker 1: You can how old are how old are your kids?
Speaker 3: My eighteen and a half months. My daughter's twenty months.
Speaker 2: So you're not putting like I'm not putting a mask
Speaker 2: on my eighties like that, Let's be like, let's be honest.
Speaker 2: And if I'm not putting a mask on my eighteen
Speaker 2: month old, and I'm out there like it's very possible
Speaker 2: that you should get something, give it to me.
Speaker 3: Like it's like it doesn't make any sense, you know,
Speaker 3: it's unavoidable. It seems Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1: All I'm saying is like everyone needs to chill, not chill.
Speaker 1: I get it. People are dying, and I'm respectable of that.
Speaker 2: And like I've I have people that have been have died,
Speaker 2: I know people that have died.
Speaker 1: I just also feel like what I do with my
Speaker 1: motherfucking family, like, bitch.
Speaker 3: You don't know.
Speaker 4: You don't know at what point I decided to quarantine
Speaker 4: for fourteen days with my nigga and then introduce him
Speaker 4: to my mom, right or vice versa. You have no
Speaker 4: idea what we're doing over here. And quite frankly, it
Speaker 4: sounds like you're very bored and on edge, bitch, because
Speaker 4: you haven't been anywhere and you ain't smoked no weed,
Speaker 4: and so you're kind of hating it sounds like you're
Speaker 4: hating on us because we've found we've we've found the
Speaker 4: silver lining of this all.
Speaker 3: And I get it.
Speaker 4: You're miserable. We're all we're in the same boat. But
Speaker 4: what you don't need to do is project how you're
Speaker 4: feeling on people who are just dealing with the same
Speaker 4: shit as you.
Speaker 3: Differently. We're all moms, we're all doing the same shit.
Speaker 3: We're all trying our best.
Speaker 4: We're obviously haven't killed our kids. You know, the government
Speaker 4: hasn't come to get them. They're safe, they're happy, they're fed, and.
Speaker 3: You need to mind your fucking business.
Speaker 4: You listen to us for half the episode that was clear,
Speaker 4: so about forty minutes and that's just not enough to
Speaker 4: tell me about me, bitch, mind your business.
Speaker 3: And my friend too will get that ass.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that handles that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that question.
Speaker 2: So your your your podcast is called while they napp?
Speaker 2: Do your kids actually nap all your podcasts?
Speaker 1: Like how do you do that?
Speaker 4: Not?
Speaker 2: Like like are you saying like my daughter's downstairs right now,
Speaker 2: in the basement of my husband. Any second, now, any second,
Speaker 2: you're gonna have a kid who running up half naked
Speaker 2: with goldfish in her mouth.
Speaker 4: The goldfish, oh right, the kids love it. How do
Speaker 4: How do your husbands feel about the podcast? And you
Speaker 4: guys like discussing, you know, your real rude feelings about
Speaker 4: motherhood amongst the internets of millions of people.
Speaker 3: Are they like, can you chill? Do you talk about them?
Speaker 3: Are their roles surrounding that in the marriage? No, they
Speaker 3: don't care. They don't care.
Speaker 2: Now at the end of the day, like he knows
Speaker 2: who he married. He's like, I'm a talker. Leanne is
Speaker 2: gonna like voice her opinion. She's gonna say what she
Speaker 2: has to say. He's like, and I don't always want
Speaker 2: to hear that shit. He's like, so at the end
Speaker 2: of the day, like, if you need to release and
Speaker 2: you need to like let that out, go for it,
Speaker 2: like say it all on the podcast, leave it all there.
Speaker 2: Of course, Like we communicate and I'm still able to
Speaker 2: confide in him. But he loves the fact that I have.
Speaker 2: This is the outlet. He thinks it's aka.
Speaker 3: They don't want to talk to us. Oh, you're talking
Speaker 3: to other people.
Speaker 4: Cool, don't give what you're talking about.
Speaker 3: Do your husbands listen?
Speaker 5: It's not depending on the episode, Like if he knows
Speaker 5: that I'm talking about him on that episode, he's gonna listen.
Speaker 2: Yes, Like the Baby Love a Marriage episode where I
Speaker 2: talked about the fact that like six week four parts
Speaker 2: on twelve weeks when I had seven stitches, my asshole
Speaker 2: was completely spread and opened out.
Speaker 3: That I was anything And I was like, you know,
Speaker 3: like no, like I've pissed off.
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 2: He's definitely he was like, oh, okay, so that tell
Speaker 2: me how you really feel.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's like that, Like but he wanted to hear.
Speaker 2: For the most part, they're like, nah, it's.
Speaker 4: Kind of a good excuse to like get them to
Speaker 4: hear what you got to say.
Speaker 3: But not You're like, oh, no, I didn't talk about
Speaker 3: you just a little.
Speaker 1: Just a little. This is how I really feel.
Speaker 4: This is an.
Speaker 3: Announcement to my husband. We just went in. It's true.
Speaker 3: How long have you guys been podcasting? Uh, less than
Speaker 3: a year? No, less than a year.
Speaker 1: How do you think?
Speaker 2: Well, my question aside from podcasting, because you guys have
Speaker 2: toddlers and like I'm so like Mila just recently finally
Speaker 2: stopped calling our kids toddlers because they're like not toddlers anymore. Like,
Speaker 2: do you do you feel like when you after you
Speaker 2: had your daughter? You have wait, you have you have
Speaker 2: a daughter and you have a daughter as well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, daughter.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like like, what was your transition out
Speaker 2: of pregnancy? Did you go through any sort of postpartum
Speaker 2: or were you I mean, you.
Speaker 1: Guys have husbands. We don't know anything about that. We
Speaker 1: don't know what support looks like.
Speaker 2: But also but also you don't have to you can
Speaker 2: have a husband, and I feel supported too, you know.
Speaker 3: So it was interesting.
Speaker 5: I had postpartum anxiety and I didn't really expect that.
Speaker 5: I was expecting postpartum depression.
Speaker 2: What's post partum anxiety? It's like the anxiety to not
Speaker 2: have depression.
Speaker 5: It's I don't know, it's it's hard to explain because
Speaker 5: I assumed it was postpartum depression, but then a nurse
Speaker 5: told me it was postpartum anxiety, which they have now
Speaker 5: separated from postpartum depression because you don't get depressed, but
Speaker 5: your anxiety levels are like on ten thousand, where.
Speaker 3: I didn't sleep for weeks, like not even a little bit.
Speaker 5: As soon as I got home, I like sat over
Speaker 5: the baby, bass in it and in so much fear
Speaker 5: that she was gonna die. And I was like, I
Speaker 5: know that she's fine, but I couldn't help it. I
Speaker 5: was just like so scared and worried. And it lasted
Speaker 5: for maybe like two months. It lasted for like two
Speaker 5: to three months.
Speaker 3: And like, what was that fear that you had that like.
Speaker 5: Someone was gonna come and throw her down this It
Speaker 5: was like these weird intrusive thoughts where I would just
Speaker 5: like wake up and look at my stairs and like
Speaker 5: want to get a knife because I thought someone was
Speaker 5: in my house to throw my baby down the stairs.
Speaker 1: Mama bear was coming.
Speaker 2: Did you feel any of that when you were pregnant
Speaker 2: or it kind of it was like shocking that it.
Speaker 5: I was chilling when I was pregnant. I loved being pregnant.
Speaker 5: It was so it was so chill other than throwing
Speaker 5: up every day.
Speaker 3: I was like, I was so chill.
Speaker 4: I was just yacking every day.
Speaker 3: Favorite part of my love it, I can do it.
Speaker 5: I was still enjoying myself, like I had a great time,
Speaker 5: But nothing prepared me for postpartum.
Speaker 3: I had no idea what was happening to me.
Speaker 5: And I think the craziest thing about that, though, was,
Speaker 5: even though I tried to get help, the thing that
Speaker 5: made me kind of snap out of it is I
Speaker 5: fell down the stairs one day with the baby in
Speaker 5: my arms, and I just remember like huddling her into
Speaker 5: my boobs and like pressing it in and just taking
Speaker 5: the fall.
Speaker 3: It's funny that, Like, it's really funny when it happened.
Speaker 1: That much time don't have boobs over time to not.
Speaker 5: But after that moment, I actually felt better because I
Speaker 5: was like, Okay, I.
Speaker 3: Gotta get my shit together because shit happens.
Speaker 2: Well you are probably you probably almost like you manifested
Speaker 2: the stairfalling, right.
Speaker 1: No, it ain't gonna be no one else but you, bitch.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be you. Other falls the stairs, you know.
Speaker 1: You know it's funny about that.
Speaker 3: I have never heard of the term postpredum postpartum.
Speaker 4: Anxiety either, but I told my good friend who has
Speaker 4: three girls, like she had kids wade before me. When I,
Speaker 4: like first had my baby, I kept having these extreme
Speaker 4: thoughts like I'm gonna fall, she's gonna drop, someone's gonna
Speaker 4: pick her up and take her the shoulder's gonna go
Speaker 4: over the hill and tumble down, like all these extreme thoughts.
Speaker 3: And she was like, that's normal.
Speaker 4: She was like, that's a part of you, like almost
Speaker 4: your body training for anything could could happen, and for
Speaker 4: like what you could do, what you would do.
Speaker 1: Your body.
Speaker 4: Because I was having like terrible I was having like
Speaker 4: the most extreme visions too, like just I opened.
Speaker 3: The door and let you know, just the worst of
Speaker 3: the worst things I could possibly happen. And I was like,
Speaker 3: what the fuck?
Speaker 4: And She's like, no, these are normal thoughts because that's
Speaker 4: like how your mind prepares you to tire boobs and
Speaker 4: a not if you're falling down the stairs.
Speaker 2: I think probably cause I think the problem though, is
Speaker 2: that when it happens, and it VENTCI from doing things right.
Speaker 2: So like in her case, like I had this a
Speaker 2: similar thing, where like mine didn't last nearly as long.
Speaker 2: But I hear that it's very common for parents to
Speaker 2: like watch their kids sleep, and that was especially it
Speaker 2: was so real for me, like, oh my gosh, that's
Speaker 2: why I CoA slept for as long as I did,
Speaker 2: like I co slept. So she was like four and
Speaker 2: a half months because I was so nervous a while
Speaker 2: putting her in the crib, I'm like, oh my god, Like,
Speaker 2: what happens if she stops reathing and I'm not there?
Speaker 2: And that's like everyone was like, because she can still
Speaker 2: stop reathing next to you, but the risk of that
Speaker 2: was so it just consumed me so like it's just
Speaker 2: it's scary, Like it's just a shit that you don't
Speaker 2: even realize that you're gonna have to experience. Like I
Speaker 2: think there's so much prep I feel like for pregnancy,
Speaker 2: but not nearly enough prep for or understanding of what
Speaker 2: happens after.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh absolutely, I mean I mean even speaking.
Speaker 2: Like, we were looking on your page and I know
Speaker 2: you guys had posted this video about the how the
Speaker 2: oscars had rejected this commercial about like, you know, the
Speaker 2: post what happens postpartum to your body? And nobody told
Speaker 2: me that shit. No one told me I was wearing
Speaker 2: a diaper.
Speaker 3: I didn't think about it.
Speaker 1: I didn't even think about it.
Speaker 3: I was never gonna be so happy with my new baby. Nostrolla.
Speaker 1: Why did my female doctor not tell me that I
Speaker 1: have a.
Speaker 3: Female doctor too?
Speaker 4: And there was not a lot of conversation about the
Speaker 4: aftercare that was going to be required.
Speaker 3: It was crazy.
Speaker 2: I was like, what I just I just remember like
Speaker 2: when I was watching that video and I was watching
Speaker 2: her struggle, you know, get out of the bed using
Speaker 2: the like the hairry, the Perry bottles, springle bottle, all
Speaker 2: that stuff, Like I remember, I think, and I told
Speaker 2: the story before, like I really I would sit on
Speaker 2: the couch, I'd get up and there DP and I'd
Speaker 2: be like, what the fuck I keep And I'm like
Speaker 2: I didn't even know. I didn't even feel myself peeing, like.
Speaker 1: And it would happen.
Speaker 2: It happened to me for about like almost like two months,
Speaker 2: and I was like so.
Speaker 1: Depressed about it. I thought I was never going to
Speaker 1: be the same again. I was. I felt gross.
Speaker 2: I felt like my man was like I'm married, Like
Speaker 2: my bitch is like four hundred years old, now kiss
Speaker 2: it everywhere.
Speaker 3: Age four hundred years Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I remember we went to Target and we got out
Speaker 2: of the car and I was so excited to finally
Speaker 2: get out of the house. And then I just went
Speaker 2: to get up out of the car and I peed
Speaker 2: on the seat and I just started fucking.
Speaker 1: Bawling and he was like, oh no, and he had
Speaker 1: to go up there and get me some depend.
Speaker 2: I had to wear depends, and I tried to get
Speaker 2: the ones that had designs on them so they still
Speaker 2: feel like drawn, but they don't.
Speaker 3: They don't feel like that, not underwear that still depends.
Speaker 3: And then I had to put like my my pacticle
Speaker 3: in there.
Speaker 2: So I was like, well, Olivaron, it was frozen because
Speaker 2: I had a second degree tarang.
Speaker 1: So they had to sew They had to sew it up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's seven stitches, so that's just crazy.
Speaker 2: I had to sit on a donut pillow for like
Speaker 2: almost two months, so I thought like, yo, there's no
Speaker 2: way my couch is gonna return to there's it's not
Speaker 2: humanly possible.
Speaker 3: This is this is.
Speaker 1: Probably is better low key now because you have sewed.
Speaker 3: Up an extra tape. You listen to me brand New Men's.
Speaker 1: Wait, were you scared to have sex after that?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: How did like what was the how did you do that?
Speaker 2: Like I talked I'm telling you so on that episode
Speaker 2: we talked about I was petrified, like so so scared.
Speaker 3: I'm like, this is worse than virginity, way worse.
Speaker 2: Worse because it's like and it's just like legitimately like
Speaker 2: the smallest, like little thing trying to like it was
Speaker 2: just it was awful.
Speaker 1: It was awful. Oh so it did. So it did
Speaker 1: hurt the first.
Speaker 3: Time, and it's just like, you know, you can't. It's
Speaker 3: it's hard. Like I have a Jamaican husband, you know,
Speaker 3: and here he's like he's a Jamaican man all around.
Speaker 3: I'm like, huh, Jamaican men. She's taking the Jamaican husband. Huh.
Speaker 2: You can't put you can't bring that over here, like
Speaker 2: not now, not any time, like anywhere.
Speaker 3: And it was just it was terrible.
Speaker 2: We went to a really really rough paths because you know,
Speaker 2: they say to the doctor, I mean, the doctor says
Speaker 2: to them like sixty week.
Speaker 3: Six weeks, and they're keeping count. Yeah what I'm like, okay,
Speaker 3: every day twelve I am, so.
Speaker 2: Week five, I think twelve am, so it's been six weeks.
Speaker 3: Twelve am on the dots.
Speaker 2: Oh God, like you know what i mean. Put the
Speaker 2: baby to bed, close the roof to her crib. I
Speaker 2: turned around fully naked.
Speaker 3: Man, I'm like what you're standing there?
Speaker 1: Like I'm here. I don't.
Speaker 3: Man, it was a mess. It was a mess. It
Speaker 3: was really really hard.
Speaker 2: It was really scary, but eventually, like we worked at
Speaker 2: it and like you know, we were patient. We did
Speaker 2: all the things, all the different tricks, all the lube,
Speaker 2: and like the grace of God, like we were in
Speaker 2: there like somewhere, but you're back.
Speaker 3: Do you guys want to have more kids? I want
Speaker 3: one more? No, I'm not right now.
Speaker 1: No, you might change your mind, but yeah, or.
Speaker 3: Are you saying that like a vision? Ain't got no kids.
Speaker 1: I just trying to be nice. I don't know you
Speaker 1: could change? Might you don't be open?
Speaker 3: Do you want another kid?
Speaker 1: I know?
Speaker 2: I mean I love my baby and like I'm in
Speaker 2: a relationship now, and like he really wants kids.
Speaker 4: He wants like kids, like more, as in more than one,
Speaker 4: more specifically twins.
Speaker 3: I used to really want twins until I heard your story.
Speaker 5: I wanted twins as well, but I'm like, if you
Speaker 5: don't get it the first time, I don't want them.
Speaker 2: I don't want he specifically wants twins because I may
Speaker 2: I fucked up and told him that I could potentially
Speaker 2: have twins.
Speaker 3: You can't.
Speaker 4: That's fucky, and isn't it sounds like the Devil's cool?
Speaker 2: Sounds like the devil in motion. So if he doesn't
Speaker 2: get twins, he said he would at least like two.
Speaker 1: I said, at least you lucky if ever you get one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I don't know.
Speaker 2: Like I was actually having this conversation with my mom
Speaker 2: today too, because she was like, I asked me if
Speaker 2: he wanted kids, and I said, yeah, he does, and
Speaker 2: she's like do you And I said, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't think.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, it's a lot, and she was like,
Speaker 2: you know, She's like, I know, I say this a
Speaker 2: lot because my mom and I are semi living parallel lives.
Speaker 1: Is like how we both became single moms.
Speaker 2: And like whatever, and she's like, I know, I say
Speaker 2: this a lot, like I've been through this, but like, honestly,
Speaker 2: like having a support having a partner and someone who's supportive,
Speaker 2: it makes a world of difference. Like my experience with you,
Speaker 2: Erica is ten times different than it was with Cruise,
Speaker 2: my brother, because her and my stepdad are together. He's
Speaker 2: a great father, he's involved. And I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know what that's like. It still sounds scary, not.
Speaker 1: That like her dad, not that my daughter's dad isn't
Speaker 1: a great father.
Speaker 2: But it's like he's not in my house. I didn't
Speaker 2: have that support system like built in. So she was like,
Speaker 2: just be open to it.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, okay, maybe, but I don't know.
Speaker 2: People be crazy, Like you bet with someone for seven
Speaker 2: years and they show up and be crazy and then
Speaker 2: boom your mom again.
Speaker 1: I just know if I want to do this be
Speaker 1: a single parent again too.
Speaker 4: I you would have to submit me to the like
Speaker 4: you would have to put me somewhere.
Speaker 3: I would definitely be on a lot of xanax.
Speaker 2: I literally just I thought, you can say you have
Speaker 2: to put me down, I drug you and pregnate.
Speaker 1: You, le me down.
Speaker 3: Handmaid's tail. I think I have.
Speaker 2: I have.
Speaker 4: I call it post traumatic baby daddy disorder. I I
Speaker 4: I my decisions aren't trustworthy. I can't trust my decision making.
Speaker 4: So it's just hard. Like honestly, the thought of having
Speaker 4: two kids, which I'd hate to say this, I know
Speaker 4: this is a stigma.
Speaker 3: It doesn't matter.
Speaker 4: But two kids, two baby daddies and neither of them working.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 4: I mean, I know ericam Dedo does it with grace
Speaker 4: and style, but I just it would make me maybe.
Speaker 3: Jump out of the window, just because it's so hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot of personalities, it's a lot of schedules,
Speaker 2: a lot of time. That's a lot, it's a lot,
Speaker 2: a lot of money. Yeah yeah, I'm like, one.
Speaker 1: Of you, motherfucker's better be a genius or one of y'all.
Speaker 4: Ain't going to y'all, but are come out with it,
Speaker 4: come out with the winning lottery ticket.
Speaker 3: I don't need to wait eighteen years. You need to
Speaker 3: come out waiving the numbers. That is it. And also
Speaker 3: I think about, like, yeah.
Speaker 4: That period right after having a baby and like trying
Speaker 4: to figure out like who am I am?
Speaker 3: I just a mom?
Speaker 1: Am I am cow?
Speaker 4: I have to also tend to you you want to
Speaker 4: have sex, like oh shit, it's a weird like place
Speaker 4: to navigate that nobody really does give you tips on
Speaker 4: because hello, it's so crazy, like watching that thing, that
Speaker 4: commercial that the Oscars didn't approve for obvious reasons. This
Speaker 4: is America, and the shit we paint of pregnancy and
Speaker 4: of labor and everything is nine times out of the
Speaker 4: ten the opposite of the truth. But yeah, like it's
Speaker 4: just like they almost say, almost sugarcoated for moms on purpose,
Speaker 4: only the labor parts seems intense on TV, but then
Speaker 4: everything else is like sugar and candy because they don't
Speaker 4: they want us to keep populating the world.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 3: So they can kill us with diet and COVID all
Speaker 3: of the things.
Speaker 1: Strange.
Speaker 3: Yeah, tell us because I think it's so important.
Speaker 2: Like you, like, you end up feeling that's when you
Speaker 2: start to feel alone because you see it on TV
Speaker 2: and you're like, that's not what I thought it was
Speaker 2: gonna be.
Speaker 3: So you're damn right.
Speaker 2: When it's two AM and I'm in the freaking washingtom
Speaker 2: squirting this shit in my vagina to try and soothe
Speaker 2: it so that while I'm peeing, I'm not crying, because legitimately,
Speaker 2: the first three times I pee up was like physically
Speaker 2: crying because it was burning so much. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: like make that normal so that I don't feel so weird,
Speaker 2: because at least I.
Speaker 3: Know what I'm I'm getting myself into.
Speaker 1: Right, they don't tell you that.
Speaker 2: They're like, it's gonna be great, it's gonna beautiful, it's
Speaker 2: gonna be so wonderful, not like, oh, by the way,
Speaker 2: you might rip, you're gonna have to spray vagina.
Speaker 1: Don't lie. I wear diapers.
Speaker 2: Oh, and that's oh and also pooping, Yeah, that first
Speaker 2: poop is gonna be fucking horrible. I almost forgot that
Speaker 2: first poop, That first poop, that's ruin your life. And
Speaker 2: doesn't it take like a minute, because I've drugged you
Speaker 2: up so hard. I was didn't poop for like two days,
Speaker 2: two weeks. It was a long time weeks And I'm
Speaker 2: not joking. I kept saying to myself the entire time,
Speaker 2: I'm like, you push out a baby. You pushed out
Speaker 2: a baby.
Speaker 3: That's the only way I.
Speaker 1: Can get through it.
Speaker 2: Because the pain was so I could not convince myself
Speaker 2: that I would be able to do it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, there's no way. I'm like, you push out
Speaker 3: a baby, you can push out a turn. It's a turn.
Speaker 1: See.
Speaker 2: I didn't even I didn't even get to push out
Speaker 2: my baby.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So I was just dealing with incision like I had.
Speaker 2: I had a sea section, not by choice, trust me,
Speaker 2: that's a whole other.
Speaker 1: Mis not miscommunication did in miscommunication.
Speaker 2: My doctor knew exactly what she was doing, but I
Speaker 2: so then I had this decision. I was in so
Speaker 2: much pain recovering from my sea section. Some people be
Speaker 2: acting like the sea section recovery is a breeze, not
Speaker 2: for me. And I just remember having finally like I.
Speaker 1: Was like, okay, I think I have to I think
Speaker 1: I have to poop now, Okay, So.
Speaker 2: I went to the bathroom and I was like, oh no,
Speaker 2: I don't think I don't think my Bible can stretch
Speaker 2: this winde.
Speaker 1: There's just no way that it could ever come out.
Speaker 2: Like it literally felt like a bowling ball was trying
Speaker 2: to get out.
Speaker 1: I remember that it was so much pressure. I was
Speaker 1: like and I was just breathing. I was crying. And
Speaker 1: then I remember when it finally like passed, like, oh
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 2: I looked down. That was the weirdest shape poop I'd
Speaker 2: ever seen. Not everyone knows these you know about my poops,
Speaker 2: but it was just.
Speaker 4: It's all dark from all the meds they give you. Yeah,
Speaker 4: they don't tell they literally tell you shit. I didn't
Speaker 4: want to have a baby in a hospital, and I
Speaker 4: ended up having a baby in the hospital. And as
Speaker 4: soon as I got to the hospital, I realized why
Speaker 4: after I had the baby, is it just me like
Speaker 4: I feel like every two hours, if it was two
Speaker 4: o'clock in the morning, four o'clock of morning. They just
Speaker 4: would wake up a new lady was like handing me
Speaker 4: a couple of pills and taking it.
Speaker 3: I have no fucking clue what those people were giving.
Speaker 1: I was just taking it.
Speaker 3: I was just like, oh no, I didn't even ask
Speaker 3: any questions. It's just like, I mean, okay, and then
Speaker 3: you can't poke for two weeks. Oh god, this is
Speaker 3: the worst shit ever.
Speaker 4: Oh there's so many things I forgot about this process
Speaker 4: that are coming back to me that is making me
Speaker 4: to think about a second.
Speaker 3: Kid, how do you bring it up?
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, no, no, no, I don't I answer so
Speaker 2: confidently and I'm like no.
Speaker 4: And for you guys, did your like my my my
Speaker 4: belly got like super darker than the rest of my body.
Speaker 4: So my boobs and like the second day got huge
Speaker 4: as fuck, Like I got a double deal on the
Speaker 4: plastic surgery table.
Speaker 1: Yesterday.
Speaker 4: They were so hard. I was like, this is great,
Speaker 4: but where am I gonna go? And they hurt, They're
Speaker 4: all veiny. I was like, oh my god, my boobs
Speaker 4: look great. What's wrong with my stomach? My stomach with
Speaker 4: the same color as my shirt and my face was
Speaker 4: still the regular color.
Speaker 3: I was like, is this gonna go away? What is happening?
Speaker 3: And she's like, shoot your hormones. I'm like, my hormones
Speaker 3: are making me change colors.
Speaker 1: My boobs look great.
Speaker 3: My nipples, my areolas were as dark like this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like my stomach and my nipples I look like
Speaker 4: the fucking National geographic and like huge nipples, baby boobs.
Speaker 3: I literally I was like, I'm a cow.
Speaker 1: I'm a cow.
Speaker 2: That black, black stomach and that black line, that line
Speaker 2: that took forever.
Speaker 3: I thought it was never gonna do. I'm like guilt away.
Speaker 2: And I had an Audi, so like I already have
Speaker 2: an audi, so imagine then once I had a baby,
Speaker 2: like it was a nose, it was a full news.
Speaker 2: How so after you had your baby, I mean I
Speaker 2: don't know, like if you guys like for me, like
Speaker 2: I gained seventy pounds in my pregnancy and after I
Speaker 2: had my kid, like I was like, who is this?
Speaker 1: What is this body I've been left with? Like what
Speaker 1: is this? Like leftover shit here?
Speaker 2: Like you guys are you guys are married and like
Speaker 2: you know your husband's Like were they did they help you?
Speaker 1: Like or did they make you feel sexy? Maybe? Did
Speaker 1: you just come out popping babies out and just look
Speaker 1: fine as hell, like.
Speaker 3: The MASKIM is loose, or for me, like I only gained.
Speaker 3: I gained eighteen pounds during pregnancy.
Speaker 4: Damn, really, that's it, even even I even.
Speaker 3: I gained thirty.
Speaker 2: I ate eighteen pounds during pregnancy, lost it within like
Speaker 2: three weeks, and then going twenty three pounds within the
Speaker 2: first month. But after eating postpartum, I was eating non stop.
Speaker 3: You got twenty three pounds thicker.
Speaker 2: Twenty three pounds thicker during breastfeeding because I was eating.
Speaker 1: Like a mad woman, you bitch.
Speaker 4: I got skinny immediately. I lost all thirty pounds immediately
Speaker 4: that six weeks was up, and they were like, you're
Speaker 4: just your ninety.
Speaker 1: Six I gain.
Speaker 3: I lost two pounds I lost after six weeks. I
Speaker 3: was ninety six pounds. I started ninety eight. When I
Speaker 3: say I wanted to pick that doctor.
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god, my god, I remember those I
Speaker 2: used to be that girl where I used to like
Speaker 2: be drinking like insure and nutriment with my meals even.
Speaker 4: Though it tastes disgusting, and then you really have to
Speaker 4: ship because you just eating too much.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to be thick so bad. But I'm like,
Speaker 2: be careful what you ask for, because now let me say,
Speaker 2: let me say that I asked, I got asked.
Speaker 1: Damn it.
Speaker 2: It's in areas that I want to keep it, but
Speaker 2: there are some areas that I'd rather let it go.
Speaker 3: But I made it what it is.
Speaker 6: Look, you guys both look, so how did you deal
Speaker 6: with your postpartum postpartum Like did you feel like you
Speaker 6: had any sort of transition that had to happen with
Speaker 6: your body or did you were you embracing your new
Speaker 6: body or has it taken time?
Speaker 1: Because you guys, are you know, fresh your fresheets.
Speaker 5: It's a lot because you want to you want to
Speaker 5: get back to the body that you thought you had,
Speaker 5: and then you're like, but I like my body after
Speaker 5: a baby because you're you're a lot thicker, you feel
Speaker 5: like you have more of a woman in body. But
Speaker 5: then you're like, oh, I need to get rid of
Speaker 5: like my stomach or like little pockets of fat in
Speaker 5: other places.
Speaker 3: But they're also tired.
Speaker 5: That part it's like to take out, like having full
Speaker 5: time jobs, doing a podcast, running your household, having to
Speaker 5: tend for a baby and your husband. Like there's just
Speaker 5: like so much to juggle, and you're like, what the
Speaker 5: Like I need to find time for myself, but like
Speaker 5: that is also an issue like in a marriage. It's like,
Speaker 5: can you give me a second so I can go
Speaker 5: work it out, like work myself out, like try to
Speaker 5: find myself and try to have time for myself. So
Speaker 5: it's a lot to juggle, but again it's important to
Speaker 5: find that time for yourself exactly, which is something we
Speaker 5: like we struggle with.
Speaker 3: I feel like we're always in a stubb with that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think we're both very fortunate when we
Speaker 2: have really supportive partners. Like my husband prefers me thick,
Speaker 2: so he's like, have another one because like shit, like
Speaker 2: the thick of the better, And I was like, Mila,
Speaker 2: I was like legitimately, up until I was what thirty
Speaker 2: one thirty, I was like one hundred and ten pounds,
Speaker 2: so like I've always been really tiny. So like this
Speaker 2: new body, he's like, okay, so he's not mad in
Speaker 2: the least. I think it was me because I think
Speaker 2: the problem was I didn't have the money for this
Speaker 2: new body.
Speaker 3: I'm like, but what about all these clothes.
Speaker 5: Like.
Speaker 3: You're replacing this ship. Yeah, with my head.
Speaker 2: This new body doesn't come with like a check. This
Speaker 2: will stimulus steck with this new body. Oh my god, right,
Speaker 2: oh my god, Long Keith, it needs to be a
Speaker 2: stimulus check for the post post part of body. The
Speaker 2: fact but that was the hardest piece for me is
Speaker 2: I can't fit into anything, and not being able to
Speaker 2: fit and things made me sad. It wasn't that my
Speaker 2: body made me sad. I couldn't fit into the things
Speaker 2: that I wanted to wear. Right, just again, you know,
Speaker 2: just learning that it's all good and just being comfortable
Speaker 2: in who I am and kind of celebrating like the
Speaker 2: new body.
Speaker 3: It's a time, but I'm sticking in there.
Speaker 2: Okay, we have this one last question and this is
Speaker 2: a new segment where we're doing and basically it's called
Speaker 2: Bad Choices. So you know our podcasts Good Mom's Bad Choices,
Speaker 2: And when we named it bad Choices, it was really
Speaker 2: a play on word because I think a lot of
Speaker 2: times people can think would think that, you know, because
Speaker 2: we smoke weed or you know, we talk about taking
Speaker 2: time away from your kids so that you can, you know,
Speaker 2: be a good good to yourself so in.
Speaker 1: Turn you be a good mom.
Speaker 2: Would be a bad choice, right, So I wanted to
Speaker 2: ask you, guys, is there anything in your life recently
Speaker 2: or anything in motherhood. It could be personally, it could
Speaker 2: be a motherhood or just in life in general, that
Speaker 2: maybe what is it? A bad was a bad choice
Speaker 2: that ended up being being good in the long run.
Speaker 5: I think my bad choice, I wouldn't consider it a
Speaker 5: bad choice.
Speaker 3: This is gonna sound terrible when I say it, but
Speaker 3: having a kid.
Speaker 5: Was something I wanted to do, but I didn't want to.
Speaker 1: Do it right away.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I have the same one, and me
Speaker 5: and my husband talked about it, but we were like, okay,
Speaker 5: we're on vacation. When we talked about it, We're like, oh,
Speaker 5: let's start. Let's start trying for a kid when we
Speaker 5: get home.
Speaker 3: But like, obviously we're on a vacation, we're having a
Speaker 3: good time.
Speaker 1: We just you know, did you get pregnant vacation like
Speaker 1: me too?
Speaker 3: I think I did.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: Girl, you had the nony juice to girl, the malie.
Speaker 5: But you know, having a daughter was probably the best
Speaker 5: thing that ever happened to me, and not necessarily like
Speaker 5: her or herself was the greatest thing that happened to me.
Speaker 5: But the transformation of me after having her was the
Speaker 5: best possible outcome in my journey to myself. So I
Speaker 5: don't regret having.
Speaker 3: A baby this suit.
Speaker 5: You know, people say it's late because you know I'm
Speaker 5: past thirty, but honestly, I'm glad I waited and I'm
Speaker 5: glad it happened when it did.
Speaker 3: So I had something.
Speaker 2: Similar in that, like my husband and I weren't ready
Speaker 2: to have a kid when we did because he wasn't working,
Speaker 2: so he was moved. He moved from Alberta, which is
Speaker 2: another province in Lantiera in Canada, and he wasn't working
Speaker 2: at the time. So like, obviously the timing to have
Speaker 2: the kid wasn't the best choice, but it worked out
Speaker 2: to be a blessing. But the other thing that I
Speaker 2: was going to say is that, like, I guess, one
Speaker 2: of the things that I wrestled with a lot once
Speaker 2: I became a mom was like, how could I still
Speaker 2: maintain my sexy, Like I still like love to club,
Speaker 2: but I don't want it to go out.
Speaker 3: I don't like to drink, and I.
Speaker 2: Like to wear crop tops and I curse and I'm
Speaker 2: worried about like how could I be that person? And
Speaker 2: still be a mom because what I thought motherhood was
Speaker 2: was the complete antithesis of that.
Speaker 3: I'm like gonna worry.
Speaker 2: But I think that like in owning that, I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm not only like a good mom for me,
Speaker 2: but I also you know, now, especially with building this community,
Speaker 2: I'm realizing that like other moms are like, oh, thank god.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean, so like bigh of relief.
Speaker 3: And I think that that's so dope.
Speaker 2: And I think especially because for Shan and I, like,
Speaker 2: you know, we love your podcast, it's amazing, But you're American.
Speaker 3: There aren't a lot of like young Black.
Speaker 2: Canadian moms who are like shooting the shit and being
Speaker 2: honest about like being mother is the way that we are,
Speaker 2: especially coming from Caribbean backgrounds that tend to be rigid
Speaker 2: and tend to be stricter. I'm not saying like no,
Speaker 2: like we're gonna do motherhood our way. We're gonna, like,
Speaker 2: you know, let it be what it is. And I
Speaker 2: think that finding like that voice and giving myself that
Speaker 2: freedom has been so freeing for us and for so
Speaker 2: many other people. So I'm happy with just a person
Speaker 2: that I've become because I'm a mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so dope.
Speaker 3: Amen to that.
Speaker 1: Yes, you know, you know we're on board with all
Speaker 1: of that. Good moms make bad choices night.
Speaker 2: Okay, ladies, Well, thank you guys so much for coming
Speaker 2: on you guys, make sure you go check out while
Speaker 2: they're not podcast. Can you let them know also where
Speaker 2: they can find you on social and anything else you
Speaker 2: want to plug that you have going on or do
Speaker 2: you want to shareh.
Speaker 5: Well, you can find us on Instagram at WTM podcast
Speaker 5: look out for merch coming soon, Black Moms Matters.
Speaker 1: I love that shirt and that was that one day
Speaker 1: mom oh by mom.
Speaker 5: Hey yeah, so you can find that on our Instagram pages.
Speaker 5: It will be launching really really soon, so just check
Speaker 5: us out on there.
Speaker 1: Dope, dope.
Speaker 3: Thank you guys so much, so happy we got to connect.
Speaker 2: Thank you for having us. And I mean we have
Speaker 2: good friends in La, so yeah.
Speaker 1: Come on. I'm actually I might need to come out there.
Speaker 1: I might need to kind a Canadian boyfriend.
Speaker 2: I know, I got a nigga, but like he'll understand,
Speaker 2: we have an adult citizenship.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Lissa, you know we're Jamaica.
Speaker 2: Men.
Speaker 4: I need Jamaican men listening from while they nap podcast
Speaker 4: Call Eric and I'm I'm part Jamaican.
Speaker 1: I just found out and my daughter was conceived there,
Speaker 1: so technically it's all in the family for something.
Speaker 4: Well, you guys know where to find us. We're at
Speaker 4: Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices. You can sign up for
Speaker 4: a newsletter at good Momsbad Choices dot com and of
Speaker 4: course subscribe to our Patreon for more extra episodes. You
Speaker 4: have to type into the search bar Patreon dot com
Speaker 4: backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices because we're explicit, and we
Speaker 4: have ilicit content and even more explicit content on Patreon,
Speaker 4: So check us out. And if you love us, if
Speaker 4: you've listened to this entire, entire podcast, even if you
Speaker 4: think we're boneheads, please leave and rate us and review
Speaker 4: us and comment it matters, Yes, please on.
Speaker 2: Apple podcast go all the way to the bottom. All right, ladies,
Speaker 2: Well you guys, enjoy your the rest of your day
Speaker 2: and we'll catch you by bye bye.
Speaker 1: E solo recorder Lalos. Then let's just say us
Speaker 6: Ran