WEBVTT - Does Sex Get Better With Age? Brian Austin Green Answers This and MORE! 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:19.520 Hey, what's going on everybody? This is Brian Austin Green 0:00:19.680 --> 0:00:23.759 and this is part two of my I do Part 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:28.240 two Q and A session and I'm answering all sorts 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:30.920 of emails and voicemails and things that have come in 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:34.320 from you guys. And this is the second part of it. 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:36.680 And we're going to start it off right now with 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:37.320 a voicemail. 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:41.800 Hi, calling in to get some advice on the first date. 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:44.440 I feel like it's so easy to just. 0:00:45.000 --> 0:00:48.080 Get in your head, and not that you want to 0:00:48.120 --> 0:00:53.040 be too overly prepared, but I feel like I need 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:58.200 to go in with some better questions. And I'm just wondering, like, 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:01.680 what are the type of questions that are good for 0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:05.160 filtering men out and the type of questions that they 0:01:05.200 --> 0:01:06.360 want to be asked too. 0:01:07.040 --> 0:01:11.600 It's a good question. First dates are tricky. I tend 0:01:11.680 --> 0:01:14.000 to feel like the trap and the mistake that a 0:01:14.000 --> 0:01:17.119 lot of people make is going into a first date 0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:25.080 with a sort of preconceived plan of what you're going 0:01:25.160 --> 0:01:29.920 to ask, how you're going to be, how you're going 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:34.000 to present yourself. Yeah, you know, I think I think 0:01:34.040 --> 0:01:40.640 if you are looking for a genuine relationship, you have 0:01:40.720 --> 0:01:48.040 to be ready to be real from moment one. It's 0:01:48.080 --> 0:01:54.080 the first impression of you. There's the visual one seeing 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.720 you walk up, Oh my god, she looks beautiful today 0:01:58.760 --> 0:02:02.000 or tonight, and then there's that thing of like, Okay, 0:02:02.120 --> 0:02:08.720 now we sit down, how do we actually connect? Like answering. 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:11.160 You have all the time in the world to sort 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:14.320 of answer questions and get into that, and you can. 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:18.440 You can ask some questions just sort of in conversation 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:22.160 because you genuinely want to know the answers, not because 0:02:22.200 --> 0:02:24.160 you think it's a question that you should be asking. 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:27.200 Like you sort of have a checklist of things. Okay, 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:30.399 I'm going to go through, go through. Here's my checklist. Okay, 0:02:30.480 --> 0:02:33.720 I got that one. Mark that off the list. Okay, cool. 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:36.160 So this is how he feels about family. Okay, this 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:40.320 is how he and like really really get into it 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:44.600 a little bit. Yeah. Again, you're sitting down with someone 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:50.040 who could possibly end up being your best friend and 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:56.520 partner in life that you share things with. So it's 0:02:56.520 --> 0:03:02.440 all about being genuine and open and real and seeing 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:06.320 how you feel with that with that person. If the 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:09.880 person you're sitting across from gives it back to you 0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:13.359 and they're genuine and they're open and they're real. Then 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:18.160 you guys are starting from the right place. You're creating 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:27.960 a foundation that is built on honesty and true empathy 0:03:29.840 --> 0:03:34.400 and understanding and wanting to understand each other. And and 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:38.240 also from a place of I'm not perfect. You're not perfect, 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:43.000 so let's it's kind of fun being imperfect together, like 0:03:43.080 --> 0:03:46.280 this is sort of cool. I'm not putting any pressure 0:03:46.320 --> 0:03:49.000 on myself of like, oh man, that's that's a mistake 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:54.840 that that's going to cost me. You shouldn't you shouldn't 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:58.240 feel that way. I feel like the honeymoon period in 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:04.080 a relationship is when you go and when you go 0:04:04.120 --> 0:04:05.920 on a first date, you meet someone and you ask 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:09.000 the questions and you're on your best behavior. You then 0:04:09.040 --> 0:04:13.120 are on your best behavior for the first three four months. 0:04:13.200 --> 0:04:17.719 It's the honeymoon period. But you can't sustain that because 0:04:18.000 --> 0:04:21.680 eventually you're gonna have a tough day. You're gonna be 0:04:21.720 --> 0:04:25.119 traveling somewhere, it's gonna suck, You're gonna have a hard 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:28.000 time at work. A friend of yours is gonna say something, 0:04:28.080 --> 0:04:30.839 someone at a grocery store is gonna say something. You 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.599 get into a you know, a fender bender with someone 0:04:33.680 --> 0:04:36.200 someone cuts you up. There's gonna be things that push 0:04:36.279 --> 0:04:40.599 you outside of that zone that you've created where you 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:43.640 wear the mask of perfection and what you think the 0:04:43.680 --> 0:04:48.080 other person wants to see. At that point, the honeymoon 0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:50.720 period is over because now the person that you're with 0:04:50.839 --> 0:04:53.680 is going, ooh, I didn't even know that this side existed, 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:57.440 So why not give them a heads up from the beginning, 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:03.120 and you know, in the very honest, real conversation that 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:07.880 hopefully you're having with that person, talk about like your 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:12.520 biggest pet peeves and the things that absolutely can ruin 0:05:12.600 --> 0:05:15.279 your day. You're someone that likes to be on time 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:21.280 for everything, or you feel really anxious when you get 0:05:21.320 --> 0:05:23.680 someplace early, so you tend to be someone that is 0:05:23.720 --> 0:05:26.680 like either right on time or five minutes late. Get 0:05:26.680 --> 0:05:31.359 into those conversations because sometimes they can create these really 0:05:31.520 --> 0:05:37.000 sort of fun connections, and it's understanding someone that you're with. 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:41.680 So I would say toss out the questions a little 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:44.720 bit and just be a little more open to sit 0:05:45.160 --> 0:05:50.520 and listen and look at each other and connect and 0:05:50.560 --> 0:05:54.400 see how it feels. If it feels really good being 0:05:55.480 --> 0:05:59.039 in the same space as the other person, that's a 0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:03.240 good sign. Then you can have some questions that are 0:06:03.360 --> 0:06:07.760 sort of big ones to ask and you phrase them 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:09.680 that way. You know, you say, hey, so I've got 0:06:09.720 --> 0:06:13.480 a couple questions that are just things that are sort 0:06:13.480 --> 0:06:19.200 of deal breakers for me. Family, kids, house, pets. But 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:22.039 you get it. You get into the stuff I want 0:06:22.080 --> 0:06:23.560 to I want to travel, but I want to have 0:06:23.600 --> 0:06:25.680 adventures that are like this. Like you kind of get 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:29.120 into answering those things and having those conversations to really 0:06:29.160 --> 0:06:32.200 know each other. So you may get along great, but 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:35.000 then decide, you know what, we get along greatest friends, 0:06:35.960 --> 0:06:39.120 so cool, I have a new friend, or you know, 0:06:39.240 --> 0:06:42.480 we get it, like, we get along really well in general, 0:06:42.720 --> 0:06:46.159 So let's keep doing this and see where it leads. 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:53.640 I hope that helped. What does emotional safety look like 0:06:53.760 --> 0:07:02.640 for a man? Emotional safe for a man? I can't 0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:06.960 speak for all men. I can only give you what 0:07:07.160 --> 0:07:12.360 feels emotionally safe for me and for my friends and 0:07:12.920 --> 0:07:19.120 the men that are around me. Emotional safety is being 0:07:19.200 --> 0:07:24.720 with someone that doesn't judge you or make you feel 0:07:24.800 --> 0:07:30.440 judged for not being perfect. Men in general are very 0:07:30.440 --> 0:07:36.040 hard on themselves, and we internalize a lot of things, 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:39.760 so there's always a lot going on in our heads. 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:45.320 If I make a mistake, but know that the person 0:07:45.360 --> 0:07:49.239 that I'm with loves me and isn't going to judge 0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:52.400 me for it and isn't telling me what a stupid 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:55.760 mistake or you know that well, that was a dumb 0:07:55.760 --> 0:07:58.800 thing to do, or giving me those things, those make 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:05.840 me feel terrible someone giving me uh Using words like 0:08:05.920 --> 0:08:12.679 that really affect me because they they break the part 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:17.480 of me that wants to be big and strong and 0:08:17.520 --> 0:08:20.920 make everyone around me that I love feel safe and protected. 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:27.040 When someone tells me that an idea was stupid or 0:08:27.160 --> 0:08:30.280 I try too hard, or I reached too far, or 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:37.600 that does nothing but break my spirit. Honestly, honesty is great. 0:08:37.880 --> 0:08:41.080 I think it's I think it's incredibly important to sit 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:46.680 with someone and go that wasn't probably wasn't the best 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:52.080 the best idea. So how are you feeling about it? Like, 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:54.720 let's get into a conversation of how you feel about it, 0:08:54.720 --> 0:09:00.000 Because you're a man is beating himself up way more 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:05.160 than you can, So help him unpack it in his 0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:09.000 own mind. Help him because men aren't good at communicating, 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:15.559 help him navigate that process for himself. Ask the questions 0:09:15.600 --> 0:09:18.719 that you know he's not asking himself how does he 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:21.720 feel right now? Like were there signs that led to 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:26.480 whatever it may be? There are questions, and women are 0:09:26.559 --> 0:09:29.840 much better at asking those questions and getting to the 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:34.120 bottom of things and understanding things than men are. Maybe 0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:40.240 take the time to help help him do that. I 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:42.680 know when Sharna does that with me, it makes me 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:48.040 feel emotionally safe because I feel like she's not judging 0:09:48.080 --> 0:09:52.520 me for mistakes that I made. She's helping me understand 0:09:52.559 --> 0:09:55.160 what I did and whether I still like it or 0:09:55.240 --> 0:10:00.480 not after I talk about it, and then together or 0:10:00.760 --> 0:10:03.360 on my own or whatever, we can then decide what 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:09.920 the next step is. But I feel emotionally safe when 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:13.360 I know she loves me no matter what. She would 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:17.840 never say anything that makes me feel like less of 0:10:17.840 --> 0:10:22.479 myself than I am. She loves me for the mistakes 0:10:22.600 --> 0:10:25.800 and the non mistakes, the things that were good at, 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:30.160 the things that were not good at, and she's on 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:35.040 that journey with me. It's all just a journey of 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:40.680 understanding and growing. So I feel the safest when someone 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:45.240 is there with me and they're supporting me no matter what. 0:10:46.120 --> 0:10:50.360 They're supporting me for my successes just as much as 0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:53.440 they're supporting me for my failures just as much as 0:10:53.440 --> 0:10:57.800 they are for my successes. Cool voicemail. 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.880 Hey, Brian, I wanted to get your take on this scenario. 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:05.080 So I recently started seeing someone and things have been 0:11:05.120 --> 0:11:08.560 really great, But the only thing that's throwing me off 0:11:08.640 --> 0:11:11.760 is that he and his ex still co parent their 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:16.600 dog together. They alternate every month, so one month the 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.680 dog is with him, and then the next month it's 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:21.480 with her. But then what gets me is that when 0:11:21.480 --> 0:11:24.800 they switch, they'll spend some time together, so they have 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.720 it like a like a dog parent day and it 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.160 almost like feel like a date to me. So, I mean, 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:33.400 I totally understand it the split custody because I love 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.760 dogs too, but I just feel like it's weird that 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:39.480 they come constantly see each other and have these days together. 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.079 And again, I don't want to come across like insecure 0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:44.560 controlling this early on, because it's only been a couple 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:47.440 of months so far that I've been seeing him. But 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:50.040 I just can't tell if this is something that I 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:55.360 think I'll have to be worried about for forever or okay, 0:11:55.400 --> 0:11:58.960 with wherever forever. The dog's pretty young too, so not 0:11:59.080 --> 0:12:02.680 to be grim, but it's not end anytime soon. So 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:04.599 I wanted to get your take on this. Do you 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:06.760 think this is a red flag? Do you think this 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:08.520 something I should just put up with? Or is this 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.480 worth bringing up? Can't wait to hear what your thoughts are. 0:12:11.760 --> 0:12:19.480 Thank you so much, Oh fair, There is absolutely nothing 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:25.839 nothing easy about that situation. I think, you know, I 0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:30.240 think it's funny some people have pets together and that 0:12:30.440 --> 0:12:34.560 is the child that they had while they were together. 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:39.360 I mean, I think right now it's early on, so 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:44.160 I would honestly just continue to take a step back 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:47.800 and go it is what it is. They they're co 0:12:47.960 --> 0:12:52.320 parenting this dog. They have this like fifty to fifty 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:56.959 visitation schedule, they see each other when they do. I mean, 0:12:56.960 --> 0:12:59.199 I think it would greatly depend on what it is 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:04.840 doing when they see each other, Like are they running 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:07.280 on the beach with the dog together, or are they 0:13:07.360 --> 0:13:10.320 like getting a hotel room and the three of them 0:13:10.720 --> 0:13:13.640 are laying in bed and watching Netflix. Because those are 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:19.439 very different situations. And then I think the very logical 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:25.440 next step if you guys continue to be together and 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:30.800 he continues to co parent with his ex, this for 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:36.120 this dog that you are with him, that you're with 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:39.559 him when the drop offs happen and when the time 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:46.160 together happens. And you know, co parenting is you are. 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:52.679 You are bringing into your ex's space your space and 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:57.280 his space now is with you, So you kind of 0:13:57.280 --> 0:14:00.840 do that together. And I think, you know, if he's 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:03.760 open to that and that doesn't freak him out at all, 0:14:04.800 --> 0:14:09.640 it should be totally healthy. If it does freak him 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:13.920 out at all, then that's a different conversation to have, 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:17.560 and that is that to me, then, is a conversation 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:23.760 of this, Like, I've been very open to co parenting 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:27.160 a dog and everything. It's fantastic. I think it's great 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:30.480 that you do it. I hope it's a reflection of 0:14:30.520 --> 0:14:35.800 the father you are or will be. But at the 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:39.800 same time, like I need to feel important also, so 0:14:41.320 --> 0:14:43.840 can we figure out a way where I don't feel 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:48.840 less important in this situation? And I feel like you 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:52.720 are honoring both. I love that you're honoring your animal 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:58.120 that way. Please honor me the same. Oh boy, that's it. 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:05.360 That's a tricky one. Silver lining he is very good 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:10.280 at co parenting and being present, and he understands the 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:18.040 importance of putting on a united front for something that 0:15:18.080 --> 0:15:21.920 is young that is younger that needs that. There's your 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:26.440 silver lining. Oh my god, that's a tough one. I 0:15:26.440 --> 0:15:29.360 don't know how I would feel, honestly, if I was 0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:31.360 dating someone that was like, yeah, so my ex and 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:35.280 I still like hang out, I would have to have 0:15:35.320 --> 0:15:38.680 the conversation and go, hey, cool, so can I start 0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:43.440 coming with you? Like you know, it's might be uncomfortable 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:49.280 for your ex, but it's equally as uncomfortable, if not more, 0:15:49.400 --> 0:15:51.920 for me. And I am now the person that is 0:15:52.040 --> 0:15:56.200 presently in your life. So there should be a lot 0:15:56.240 --> 0:16:02.680 of importance put on this relationship. Oh boy, good luck, 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:09.760 good luck with that one. What's something you wish more 0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:16.600 women would ask men instead of assuming I okay, I 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:23.600 really wish. And I can't stand when this happens when 0:16:25.000 --> 0:16:28.520 a woman or women speak about men, and they speak 0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:33.240 about men in general like they can just speak for 0:16:33.320 --> 0:16:36.520 all of them, like they're all the same. We're not 0:16:36.680 --> 0:16:40.640 all the same. Stop assuming that because one man or 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.120 a group of men like things this way, that all 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:47.120 men like things that way. It depends on age, it 0:16:47.240 --> 0:16:54.800 depends on personality type, it depends on history. There are 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:59.200 so many factors that make up who a person is. 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:04.639 So I think it's really unfair when you automatically assume 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.000 that you know because oh, all men are the same, 0:17:07.400 --> 0:17:10.760 like all men, you know, all men would prefer to 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:12.560 sit on the couch with their friend and drink a 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:18.480 beer and watch sports, then go on vacation with with 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:26.640 you know, their significant other. False false false false. Pay 0:17:26.680 --> 0:17:33.280 attention to the person that you're with, like, really really 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:37.640 know them. Sharna doesn't assume that I'm like any man 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:40.920 she's ever been with, because she knows. She's asked questions, 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:46.680 she has said ouch when things hurt, and she's seen 0:17:46.720 --> 0:17:50.280 the way I respond. She has experienced the way we 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:52.800 speak to each other when we have disagreements, and that 0:17:52.840 --> 0:17:58.560 we aren't ever venomous with each other. We never say 0:17:58.640 --> 0:18:01.920 things that we can't take back. Rules in fighting, men, 0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:06.119 Rules in fighting. I always tell people, make sure that 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:09.240 you fight fair. If you're with someone that you truly 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:14.919 care about, fight fair. Choose to never say something that 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:17.760 you're going to regret, because people can forgive, but they 0:18:17.800 --> 0:18:22.760 cannot forget. Did that rhyme? I feel like that rhymed? 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:36.640 Pretty awesome. I love when that happens. What's the next voicemail? 0:18:36.840 --> 0:18:41.440 Hey Brian, I'm wondering from your perspective, do you think 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:45.760 sex has gotten better with age or do you find 0:18:45.760 --> 0:18:49.040 yourself missing your twenties? And then part two of that is, 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:53.320 what do you think makes a woman unforgettable in bed? Like, 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:53.919 in a good. 0:18:53.760 --> 0:19:01.800 Way, sex has absolutely gotten better with age because I 0:19:01.840 --> 0:19:09.240 am way less concerned with how I feel in it 0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:13.040 and my own insecurities, and I'm way more concerned about 0:19:13.080 --> 0:19:17.520 how she feels. And then I'm doing things that she 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:22.320 truly likes, and then I'm also not doing things she 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:26.040 doesn't like. I think, you know, I think there's way 0:19:26.080 --> 0:19:32.439 more connection later on in life, Like I I spend 0:19:32.480 --> 0:19:37.520 way more time staring into Sharana's eyes now than I 0:19:37.560 --> 0:19:39.399 did when I was younger. When I was younger, it 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:42.760 was like, I groom could be pitch black. It was 0:19:42.800 --> 0:19:44.480 just an action. You sort of did it until the 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:47.879 action was done. Then you were like, cool, let's go 0:19:48.000 --> 0:19:50.720 make a grilled cheese sandwich or something. Now I don't 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:53.040 know why a grilled cheese sandwich. It just feels right 0:19:54.000 --> 0:19:56.000 sex And then like tomato soup and a grilled cheese 0:19:56.000 --> 0:20:00.439 sandwich like after school Special, but like in after sex Special, 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:05.680 I don't know. I yeah, when I was younger. It was. 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:12.520 When I was younger, sex was much more about how 0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:16.560 the action was perceived, So like I'd watch watch porn 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:18.080 and then it was like, God, I want to be 0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:21.119 I want to seem as cool as they do, you know, 0:20:21.520 --> 0:20:24.920 And so you're trying to do all the things and 0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:30.320 you sort of like you complicate the whole situation. Now 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:35.880 it's pretty simple. I am with my fiance because I 0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:38.600 love being with my fiance and I love making her 0:20:38.880 --> 0:20:44.359 feel amazing and vice versa. So we we try and 0:20:44.400 --> 0:20:47.160 do that as often as we can, which isn't as 0:20:47.160 --> 0:20:52.760 often as we want because we have kids, and door 0:20:52.840 --> 0:20:56.399 locks get a little a little tough, especially when you 0:20:56.440 --> 0:20:58.280 have a young one, because you don't want to create 0:20:58.280 --> 0:21:00.840 a situation where they're banging on a door wondering why 0:21:00.880 --> 0:21:04.879 the door is locked. I think my connection has just 0:21:05.040 --> 0:21:09.560 changed a lot more as I've gotten older. Sex was 0:21:09.600 --> 0:21:13.040 way more sort of a sport thing when I was younger. 0:21:14.720 --> 0:21:20.280 Sex now is a connection thing. It's one more thing 0:21:20.320 --> 0:21:23.760 that we can do to feel connected. What makes a 0:21:23.800 --> 0:21:29.400 woman unforgettable in bed in a good way? I think, Well, 0:21:29.600 --> 0:21:36.080 so that is a preference question. I mean it's like 0:21:36.160 --> 0:21:40.520 some some guys are really into the lingerie and the 0:21:40.520 --> 0:21:44.719 dirty talk and the stuff, and then some guys that 0:21:44.800 --> 0:21:48.399 doesn't do it for them at all. I think sex 0:21:48.520 --> 0:21:51.840 is so individual, you know, it's so individual what people 0:21:52.160 --> 0:21:56.840 enjoy and not. I think what a woman honestly can 0:21:56.880 --> 0:22:01.840 do is be as present for a guy as possible 0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:05.080 and ask questions and do things that he really likes, 0:22:05.200 --> 0:22:07.399 and ask if he really likes them, and if he doesn't, 0:22:08.800 --> 0:22:11.439 try something else, and vice versa. I think that's what 0:22:11.560 --> 0:22:18.399 makes for great sex is great communication with it. My 0:22:18.480 --> 0:22:23.120 fiance and I talk all the time about about things, 0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:27.520 about things to try, different ideas, different things. You know, 0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:33.560 it's because you never know. It's those those flavors change constantly. 0:22:34.040 --> 0:22:38.000 You'll be someone that loves vanilla ice cream for years 0:22:38.000 --> 0:22:39.600 and then all of a sudden you're like, God, I 0:22:40.800 --> 0:22:45.040 this strawberry is what I've been missing for the past 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:49.359 five years of my life. It's the same thing in sex. 0:22:49.440 --> 0:22:51.359 It sort of kind of goes all over the place. 0:22:53.320 --> 0:22:58.040 I think what makes things the best, the best sex 0:22:58.119 --> 0:23:01.359 is when you don't assume that like, oh, it's just 0:23:01.520 --> 0:23:06.000 what what seems to be hitting number one on like 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:11.720 porn sites, but really making sure that it's tailored for 0:23:11.800 --> 0:23:17.159 the person that you're with. Does that answer it? It's 0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:21.760 a hard question to answer. Oh my god, I'm sweating 0:23:21.840 --> 0:23:24.520 and not because it's hot like that was a that's 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:28.879 a tough question to answer. Jack. What part of your 0:23:28.880 --> 0:23:32.320 divorce was hardest that nobody warned you about? What's the 0:23:32.359 --> 0:23:37.240 hardest part of being a dad after divorce? Good question, Jack. 0:23:38.240 --> 0:23:40.600 The part of my divorce that was the hardest that 0:23:40.680 --> 0:23:45.960 nobody warned me about was my kids. Was this was 0:23:46.080 --> 0:23:48.680 the breaking up of the family. You know, you have 0:23:48.840 --> 0:23:53.320 these things that become sort of routine, and whether you 0:23:53.359 --> 0:23:56.800 have kids or whether it's just you and and your 0:23:57.000 --> 0:24:00.760 your partner you're now ex partner. You have things that 0:24:00.840 --> 0:24:03.479 you did together. You have restaurants that you went to together, 0:24:04.720 --> 0:24:07.879 you have waiters and waitresses that you knew you guys 0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:11.879 were known together as a couple, and now all of 0:24:11.920 --> 0:24:15.240 a sudden you have to walk into those places alone. 0:24:15.440 --> 0:24:19.359 And then eventually they'll see you walk in with somebody new, 0:24:19.640 --> 0:24:24.760 and there's always that part of your brain that is 0:24:25.000 --> 0:24:27.000 kind of judging it, going, oh my god, what you 0:24:27.040 --> 0:24:29.560 know this is really this is a big deal. Walking 0:24:29.600 --> 0:24:34.160 into this coffee shop with this new person. I wonder 0:24:34.200 --> 0:24:37.159 what they think, Like I wonder if they're seeing this 0:24:37.359 --> 0:24:40.680 and picking it apart, and you know, I wonder if 0:24:40.680 --> 0:24:44.679 they question why we divorced and if if I was 0:24:44.720 --> 0:24:49.359 the bad guy or she was the bad guy. I 0:24:49.400 --> 0:24:55.479 think sort of refinding life without the other person is 0:24:57.840 --> 0:25:01.240 kind of the hardest is the hardest part, Like you're 0:25:01.240 --> 0:25:06.280 sort of you're rethinking all of it. You fall into 0:25:06.320 --> 0:25:10.840 a pattern with someone and that is your day to 0:25:10.920 --> 0:25:13.880 day and now you're creating a new day to day 0:25:13.920 --> 0:25:19.800 without that person, and it can feel great, but it 0:25:19.840 --> 0:25:24.360 can also at the same time be intimidating because your 0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:27.520 mind goes crazy. The hardest part of being a dad 0:25:28.040 --> 0:25:35.120 after divorce is remembering. So I think people make a 0:25:35.160 --> 0:25:42.440 big mistake when they get divorced in feeling like they 0:25:42.520 --> 0:25:46.919 don't want it to affect their kids. That's an unrealistic 0:25:48.000 --> 0:25:51.399 goal because it absolutely will affect your kids, whether you 0:25:51.400 --> 0:25:54.240 want it to or not, it will. Their parents are 0:25:54.280 --> 0:25:57.520 now living two separate lives, and they're going back and 0:25:57.560 --> 0:26:01.400 forth having to adjust to fitting in with both both 0:26:01.440 --> 0:26:04.480 of those lives. What you can do as a parent, though, 0:26:04.880 --> 0:26:10.240 is you can choose how it affects your kids, whether 0:26:10.280 --> 0:26:15.480 it's a really healthy, good situation where you you are 0:26:15.600 --> 0:26:20.239 respectful of the other person, whether you truly cherish your 0:26:20.320 --> 0:26:25.000 kids when it's your time with them or not, how 0:26:25.040 --> 0:26:28.479 special you make it for them. They could end up 0:26:28.480 --> 0:26:32.200 with two households that are great instead of just one, 0:26:32.440 --> 0:26:36.360 so it could be a really valuable positive experience, and 0:26:36.480 --> 0:26:41.240 you could show them that there is no stigma involved 0:26:41.280 --> 0:26:45.119 with parents separating and they realize like, oh, yeah, my 0:26:45.119 --> 0:26:47.960 parents separated, but it was it was amazing. The people 0:26:48.000 --> 0:26:50.560 they ended up with were great. The two homes were great. 0:26:50.800 --> 0:26:53.920 I always felt loved in both of them. That's that's 0:26:53.920 --> 0:26:58.840 within your control. So like, figure out what is in 0:26:58.880 --> 0:27:06.200 your control and live consciously with it in every situation. 0:27:08.040 --> 0:27:11.000 Make a choice to never say anything negative about the 0:27:11.000 --> 0:27:15.159 other parent in front of your kids. Make it the 0:27:15.160 --> 0:27:18.520 best situation it can be. And sometimes that's not easy 0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:22.440 to do. You know, sometimes co parenting isn't easy. One 0:27:22.480 --> 0:27:26.600 parent is much healthier than the other in a breakup 0:27:27.119 --> 0:27:32.679 and in relationships ending, so you're having to kind of 0:27:34.440 --> 0:27:39.320 take some shots here and there. You know, you end 0:27:39.400 --> 0:27:44.120 up with some scars on your tongue from biting it 0:27:44.200 --> 0:27:50.280 so much. But we're adults. That's what separates us from kids. 0:27:50.520 --> 0:27:54.720 We've lived a life where we now should be able to, 0:27:55.320 --> 0:28:01.480 in an adult way, look at a situation and figure 0:28:01.520 --> 0:28:04.679 out the best way of moving through it. We're not. 0:28:06.640 --> 0:28:08.719 We're not young where our emotions are sort of on 0:28:08.760 --> 0:28:13.399 our sleeve, on our sleeves and we just sort of blah. 0:28:13.440 --> 0:28:16.200 As soon as you know, as soon as something happens, 0:28:16.240 --> 0:28:19.959 you say how you're feeling, you freak out. You like, 0:28:20.080 --> 0:28:25.280 we are grown, and part of being grown is having 0:28:25.280 --> 0:28:31.399 the ability to do that. I think. So as a dad, 0:28:32.400 --> 0:28:38.480 it's being a dad is being a parent is hard. 0:28:38.520 --> 0:28:42.760 Be the best dad you can be. Just love your 0:28:42.840 --> 0:28:49.120 kids like it's their time now. Your your time is 0:28:50.680 --> 0:28:52.880 do what you want to do with your time when 0:28:52.920 --> 0:28:56.800 your kids are at their moms. But when your kids 0:28:56.800 --> 0:29:00.360 are with you, they need a dad. I don't just 0:29:00.360 --> 0:29:03.719