Speaker 1: Hey, what's going on everybody? This is Brian Austin Green
Speaker 1: and this is part two of my I do Part
Speaker 1: two Q and A session and I'm answering all sorts
Speaker 1: of emails and voicemails and things that have come in
Speaker 1: from you guys. And this is the second part of it.
Speaker 1: And we're going to start it off right now with
Speaker 1: a voicemail.
Speaker 2: Hi, calling in to get some advice on the first date.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's so easy to just.
Speaker 2: Get in your head, and not that you want to
Speaker 2: be too overly prepared, but I feel like I need
Speaker 2: to go in with some better questions. And I'm just wondering, like,
Speaker 2: what are the type of questions that are good for
Speaker 2: filtering men out and the type of questions that they
Speaker 2: want to be asked too.
Speaker 1: It's a good question. First dates are tricky. I tend
Speaker 1: to feel like the trap and the mistake that a
Speaker 1: lot of people make is going into a first date
Speaker 1: with a sort of preconceived plan of what you're going
Speaker 1: to ask, how you're going to be, how you're going
Speaker 1: to present yourself. Yeah, you know, I think I think
Speaker 1: if you are looking for a genuine relationship, you have
Speaker 1: to be ready to be real from moment one. It's
Speaker 1: the first impression of you. There's the visual one seeing
Speaker 1: you walk up, Oh my god, she looks beautiful today
Speaker 1: or tonight, and then there's that thing of like, Okay,
Speaker 1: now we sit down, how do we actually connect? Like answering.
Speaker 1: You have all the time in the world to sort
Speaker 1: of answer questions and get into that, and you can.
Speaker 1: You can ask some questions just sort of in conversation
Speaker 1: because you genuinely want to know the answers, not because
Speaker 1: you think it's a question that you should be asking.
Speaker 1: Like you sort of have a checklist of things. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to go through, go through. Here's my checklist. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got that one. Mark that off the list. Okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So this is how he feels about family. Okay, this
Speaker 1: is how he and like really really get into it
Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah. Again, you're sitting down with someone
Speaker 1: who could possibly end up being your best friend and
Speaker 1: partner in life that you share things with. So it's
Speaker 1: all about being genuine and open and real and seeing
Speaker 1: how you feel with that with that person. If the
Speaker 1: person you're sitting across from gives it back to you
Speaker 1: and they're genuine and they're open and they're real. Then
Speaker 1: you guys are starting from the right place. You're creating
Speaker 1: a foundation that is built on honesty and true empathy
Speaker 1: and understanding and wanting to understand each other. And and
Speaker 1: also from a place of I'm not perfect. You're not perfect,
Speaker 1: so let's it's kind of fun being imperfect together, like
Speaker 1: this is sort of cool. I'm not putting any pressure
Speaker 1: on myself of like, oh man, that's that's a mistake
Speaker 1: that that's going to cost me. You shouldn't you shouldn't
Speaker 1: feel that way. I feel like the honeymoon period in
Speaker 1: a relationship is when you go and when you go
Speaker 1: on a first date, you meet someone and you ask
Speaker 1: the questions and you're on your best behavior. You then
Speaker 1: are on your best behavior for the first three four months.
Speaker 1: It's the honeymoon period. But you can't sustain that because
Speaker 1: eventually you're gonna have a tough day. You're gonna be
Speaker 1: traveling somewhere, it's gonna suck, You're gonna have a hard
Speaker 1: time at work. A friend of yours is gonna say something,
Speaker 1: someone at a grocery store is gonna say something. You
Speaker 1: get into a you know, a fender bender with someone
Speaker 1: someone cuts you up. There's gonna be things that push
Speaker 1: you outside of that zone that you've created where you
Speaker 1: wear the mask of perfection and what you think the
Speaker 1: other person wants to see. At that point, the honeymoon
Speaker 1: period is over because now the person that you're with
Speaker 1: is going, ooh, I didn't even know that this side existed,
Speaker 1: So why not give them a heads up from the beginning,
Speaker 1: and you know, in the very honest, real conversation that
Speaker 1: hopefully you're having with that person, talk about like your
Speaker 1: biggest pet peeves and the things that absolutely can ruin
Speaker 1: your day. You're someone that likes to be on time
Speaker 1: for everything, or you feel really anxious when you get
Speaker 1: someplace early, so you tend to be someone that is
Speaker 1: like either right on time or five minutes late. Get
Speaker 1: into those conversations because sometimes they can create these really
Speaker 1: sort of fun connections, and it's understanding someone that you're with.
Speaker 1: So I would say toss out the questions a little
Speaker 1: bit and just be a little more open to sit
Speaker 1: and listen and look at each other and connect and
Speaker 1: see how it feels. If it feels really good being
Speaker 1: in the same space as the other person, that's a
Speaker 1: good sign. Then you can have some questions that are
Speaker 1: sort of big ones to ask and you phrase them
Speaker 1: that way. You know, you say, hey, so I've got
Speaker 1: a couple questions that are just things that are sort
Speaker 1: of deal breakers for me. Family, kids, house, pets. But
Speaker 1: you get it. You get into the stuff I want
Speaker 1: to I want to travel, but I want to have
Speaker 1: adventures that are like this. Like you kind of get
Speaker 1: into answering those things and having those conversations to really
Speaker 1: know each other. So you may get along great, but
Speaker 1: then decide, you know what, we get along greatest friends,
Speaker 1: so cool, I have a new friend, or you know,
Speaker 1: we get it, like, we get along really well in general,
Speaker 1: So let's keep doing this and see where it leads.
Speaker 1: I hope that helped. What does emotional safety look like
Speaker 1: for a man? Emotional safe for a man? I can't
Speaker 1: speak for all men. I can only give you what
Speaker 1: feels emotionally safe for me and for my friends and
Speaker 1: the men that are around me. Emotional safety is being
Speaker 1: with someone that doesn't judge you or make you feel
Speaker 1: judged for not being perfect. Men in general are very
Speaker 1: hard on themselves, and we internalize a lot of things,
Speaker 1: so there's always a lot going on in our heads.
Speaker 1: If I make a mistake, but know that the person
Speaker 1: that I'm with loves me and isn't going to judge
Speaker 1: me for it and isn't telling me what a stupid
Speaker 1: mistake or you know that well, that was a dumb
Speaker 1: thing to do, or giving me those things, those make
Speaker 1: me feel terrible someone giving me uh Using words like
Speaker 1: that really affect me because they they break the part
Speaker 1: of me that wants to be big and strong and
Speaker 1: make everyone around me that I love feel safe and protected.
Speaker 1: When someone tells me that an idea was stupid or
Speaker 1: I try too hard, or I reached too far, or
Speaker 1: that does nothing but break my spirit. Honestly, honesty is great.
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's incredibly important to sit
Speaker 1: with someone and go that wasn't probably wasn't the best
Speaker 1: the best idea. So how are you feeling about it? Like,
Speaker 1: let's get into a conversation of how you feel about it,
Speaker 1: Because you're a man is beating himself up way more
Speaker 1: than you can, So help him unpack it in his
Speaker 1: own mind. Help him because men aren't good at communicating,
Speaker 1: help him navigate that process for himself. Ask the questions
Speaker 1: that you know he's not asking himself how does he
Speaker 1: feel right now? Like were there signs that led to
Speaker 1: whatever it may be? There are questions, and women are
Speaker 1: much better at asking those questions and getting to the
Speaker 1: bottom of things and understanding things than men are. Maybe
Speaker 1: take the time to help help him do that. I
Speaker 1: know when Sharna does that with me, it makes me
Speaker 1: feel emotionally safe because I feel like she's not judging
Speaker 1: me for mistakes that I made. She's helping me understand
Speaker 1: what I did and whether I still like it or
Speaker 1: not after I talk about it, and then together or
Speaker 1: on my own or whatever, we can then decide what
Speaker 1: the next step is. But I feel emotionally safe when
Speaker 1: I know she loves me no matter what. She would
Speaker 1: never say anything that makes me feel like less of
Speaker 1: myself than I am. She loves me for the mistakes
Speaker 1: and the non mistakes, the things that were good at,
Speaker 1: the things that were not good at, and she's on
Speaker 1: that journey with me. It's all just a journey of
Speaker 1: understanding and growing. So I feel the safest when someone
Speaker 1: is there with me and they're supporting me no matter what.
Speaker 1: They're supporting me for my successes just as much as
Speaker 1: they're supporting me for my failures just as much as
Speaker 1: they are for my successes. Cool voicemail.
Speaker 4: Hey, Brian, I wanted to get your take on this scenario.
Speaker 4: So I recently started seeing someone and things have been
Speaker 4: really great, But the only thing that's throwing me off
Speaker 4: is that he and his ex still co parent their
Speaker 4: dog together. They alternate every month, so one month the
Speaker 4: dog is with him, and then the next month it's
Speaker 4: with her. But then what gets me is that when
Speaker 4: they switch, they'll spend some time together, so they have
Speaker 4: it like a like a dog parent day and it
Speaker 4: almost like feel like a date to me. So, I mean,
Speaker 4: I totally understand it the split custody because I love
Speaker 4: dogs too, but I just feel like it's weird that
Speaker 4: they come constantly see each other and have these days together.
Speaker 4: And again, I don't want to come across like insecure
Speaker 4: controlling this early on, because it's only been a couple
Speaker 4: of months so far that I've been seeing him. But
Speaker 4: I just can't tell if this is something that I
Speaker 4: think I'll have to be worried about for forever or okay,
Speaker 4: with wherever forever. The dog's pretty young too, so not
Speaker 4: to be grim, but it's not end anytime soon. So
Speaker 4: I wanted to get your take on this. Do you
Speaker 4: think this is a red flag? Do you think this
Speaker 4: something I should just put up with? Or is this
Speaker 4: worth bringing up? Can't wait to hear what your thoughts are.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Oh fair, There is absolutely nothing
Speaker 1: nothing easy about that situation. I think, you know, I
Speaker 1: think it's funny some people have pets together and that
Speaker 1: is the child that they had while they were together.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think right now it's early on, so
Speaker 1: I would honestly just continue to take a step back
Speaker 1: and go it is what it is. They they're co
Speaker 1: parenting this dog. They have this like fifty to fifty
Speaker 1: visitation schedule, they see each other when they do. I mean,
Speaker 1: I think it would greatly depend on what it is
Speaker 1: doing when they see each other, Like are they running
Speaker 1: on the beach with the dog together, or are they
Speaker 1: like getting a hotel room and the three of them
Speaker 1: are laying in bed and watching Netflix. Because those are
Speaker 1: very different situations. And then I think the very logical
Speaker 1: next step if you guys continue to be together and
Speaker 1: he continues to co parent with his ex, this for
Speaker 1: this dog that you are with him, that you're with
Speaker 1: him when the drop offs happen and when the time
Speaker 1: together happens. And you know, co parenting is you are.
Speaker 1: You are bringing into your ex's space your space and
Speaker 1: his space now is with you, So you kind of
Speaker 1: do that together. And I think, you know, if he's
Speaker 1: open to that and that doesn't freak him out at all,
Speaker 1: it should be totally healthy. If it does freak him
Speaker 1: out at all, then that's a different conversation to have,
Speaker 1: and that is that to me, then, is a conversation
Speaker 1: of this, Like, I've been very open to co parenting
Speaker 1: a dog and everything. It's fantastic. I think it's great
Speaker 1: that you do it. I hope it's a reflection of
Speaker 1: the father you are or will be. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, like I need to feel important also, so
Speaker 1: can we figure out a way where I don't feel
Speaker 1: less important in this situation? And I feel like you
Speaker 1: are honoring both. I love that you're honoring your animal
Speaker 1: that way. Please honor me the same. Oh boy, that's it.
Speaker 1: That's a tricky one. Silver lining he is very good
Speaker 1: at co parenting and being present, and he understands the
Speaker 1: importance of putting on a united front for something that
Speaker 1: is young that is younger that needs that. There's your
Speaker 1: silver lining. Oh my god, that's a tough one. I
Speaker 1: don't know how I would feel, honestly, if I was
Speaker 1: dating someone that was like, yeah, so my ex and
Speaker 1: I still like hang out, I would have to have
Speaker 1: the conversation and go, hey, cool, so can I start
Speaker 1: coming with you? Like you know, it's might be uncomfortable
Speaker 1: for your ex, but it's equally as uncomfortable, if not more,
Speaker 1: for me. And I am now the person that is
Speaker 1: presently in your life. So there should be a lot
Speaker 1: of importance put on this relationship. Oh boy, good luck,
Speaker 1: good luck with that one. What's something you wish more
Speaker 1: women would ask men instead of assuming I okay, I
Speaker 1: really wish. And I can't stand when this happens when
Speaker 1: a woman or women speak about men, and they speak
Speaker 1: about men in general like they can just speak for
Speaker 1: all of them, like they're all the same. We're not
Speaker 1: all the same. Stop assuming that because one man or
Speaker 1: a group of men like things this way, that all
Speaker 1: men like things that way. It depends on age, it
Speaker 1: depends on personality type, it depends on history. There are
Speaker 1: so many factors that make up who a person is.
Speaker 1: So I think it's really unfair when you automatically assume
Speaker 1: that you know because oh, all men are the same,
Speaker 1: like all men, you know, all men would prefer to
Speaker 1: sit on the couch with their friend and drink a
Speaker 1: beer and watch sports, then go on vacation with with
Speaker 1: you know, their significant other. False false false false. Pay
Speaker 1: attention to the person that you're with, like, really really
Speaker 1: know them. Sharna doesn't assume that I'm like any man
Speaker 1: she's ever been with, because she knows. She's asked questions,
Speaker 1: she has said ouch when things hurt, and she's seen
Speaker 1: the way I respond. She has experienced the way we
Speaker 1: speak to each other when we have disagreements, and that
Speaker 1: we aren't ever venomous with each other. We never say
Speaker 1: things that we can't take back. Rules in fighting, men,
Speaker 1: Rules in fighting. I always tell people, make sure that
Speaker 1: you fight fair. If you're with someone that you truly
Speaker 1: care about, fight fair. Choose to never say something that
Speaker 1: you're going to regret, because people can forgive, but they
Speaker 1: cannot forget. Did that rhyme? I feel like that rhymed?
Speaker 1: Pretty awesome. I love when that happens. What's the next voicemail?
Speaker 5: Hey Brian, I'm wondering from your perspective, do you think
Speaker 5: sex has gotten better with age or do you find
Speaker 5: yourself missing your twenties? And then part two of that is,
Speaker 5: what do you think makes a woman unforgettable in bed? Like,
Speaker 5: in a good.
Speaker 1: Way, sex has absolutely gotten better with age because I
Speaker 1: am way less concerned with how I feel in it
Speaker 1: and my own insecurities, and I'm way more concerned about
Speaker 1: how she feels. And then I'm doing things that she
Speaker 1: truly likes, and then I'm also not doing things she
Speaker 1: doesn't like. I think, you know, I think there's way
Speaker 1: more connection later on in life, Like I I spend
Speaker 1: way more time staring into Sharana's eyes now than I
Speaker 1: did when I was younger. When I was younger, it
Speaker 1: was like, I groom could be pitch black. It was
Speaker 1: just an action. You sort of did it until the
Speaker 1: action was done. Then you were like, cool, let's go
Speaker 1: make a grilled cheese sandwich or something. Now I don't
Speaker 1: know why a grilled cheese sandwich. It just feels right
Speaker 1: sex And then like tomato soup and a grilled cheese
Speaker 1: sandwich like after school Special, but like in after sex Special,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I yeah, when I was younger. It was.
Speaker 1: When I was younger, sex was much more about how
Speaker 1: the action was perceived, So like I'd watch watch porn
Speaker 1: and then it was like, God, I want to be
Speaker 1: I want to seem as cool as they do, you know,
Speaker 1: And so you're trying to do all the things and
Speaker 1: you sort of like you complicate the whole situation. Now
Speaker 1: it's pretty simple. I am with my fiance because I
Speaker 1: love being with my fiance and I love making her
Speaker 1: feel amazing and vice versa. So we we try and
Speaker 1: do that as often as we can, which isn't as
Speaker 1: often as we want because we have kids, and door
Speaker 1: locks get a little a little tough, especially when you
Speaker 1: have a young one, because you don't want to create
Speaker 1: a situation where they're banging on a door wondering why
Speaker 1: the door is locked. I think my connection has just
Speaker 1: changed a lot more as I've gotten older. Sex was
Speaker 1: way more sort of a sport thing when I was younger.
Speaker 1: Sex now is a connection thing. It's one more thing
Speaker 1: that we can do to feel connected. What makes a
Speaker 1: woman unforgettable in bed in a good way? I think, Well,
Speaker 1: so that is a preference question. I mean it's like
Speaker 1: some some guys are really into the lingerie and the
Speaker 1: dirty talk and the stuff, and then some guys that
Speaker 1: doesn't do it for them at all. I think sex
Speaker 1: is so individual, you know, it's so individual what people
Speaker 1: enjoy and not. I think what a woman honestly can
Speaker 1: do is be as present for a guy as possible
Speaker 1: and ask questions and do things that he really likes,
Speaker 1: and ask if he really likes them, and if he doesn't,
Speaker 1: try something else, and vice versa. I think that's what
Speaker 1: makes for great sex is great communication with it. My
Speaker 1: fiance and I talk all the time about about things,
Speaker 1: about things to try, different ideas, different things. You know,
Speaker 1: it's because you never know. It's those those flavors change constantly.
Speaker 1: You'll be someone that loves vanilla ice cream for years
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you're like, God, I
Speaker 1: this strawberry is what I've been missing for the past
Speaker 1: five years of my life. It's the same thing in sex.
Speaker 1: It sort of kind of goes all over the place.
Speaker 1: I think what makes things the best, the best sex
Speaker 1: is when you don't assume that like, oh, it's just
Speaker 1: what what seems to be hitting number one on like
Speaker 1: porn sites, but really making sure that it's tailored for
Speaker 1: the person that you're with. Does that answer it? It's
Speaker 1: a hard question to answer. Oh my god, I'm sweating
Speaker 1: and not because it's hot like that was a that's
Speaker 1: a tough question to answer. Jack. What part of your
Speaker 1: divorce was hardest that nobody warned you about? What's the
Speaker 1: hardest part of being a dad after divorce? Good question, Jack.
Speaker 1: The part of my divorce that was the hardest that
Speaker 1: nobody warned me about was my kids. Was this was
Speaker 1: the breaking up of the family. You know, you have
Speaker 1: these things that become sort of routine, and whether you
Speaker 1: have kids or whether it's just you and and your
Speaker 1: your partner you're now ex partner. You have things that
Speaker 1: you did together. You have restaurants that you went to together,
Speaker 1: you have waiters and waitresses that you knew you guys
Speaker 1: were known together as a couple, and now all of
Speaker 1: a sudden you have to walk into those places alone.
Speaker 1: And then eventually they'll see you walk in with somebody new,
Speaker 1: and there's always that part of your brain that is
Speaker 1: kind of judging it, going, oh my god, what you
Speaker 1: know this is really this is a big deal. Walking
Speaker 1: into this coffee shop with this new person. I wonder
Speaker 1: what they think, Like I wonder if they're seeing this
Speaker 1: and picking it apart, and you know, I wonder if
Speaker 1: they question why we divorced and if if I was
Speaker 1: the bad guy or she was the bad guy. I
Speaker 1: think sort of refinding life without the other person is
Speaker 1: kind of the hardest is the hardest part, Like you're
Speaker 1: sort of you're rethinking all of it. You fall into
Speaker 1: a pattern with someone and that is your day to
Speaker 1: day and now you're creating a new day to day
Speaker 1: without that person, and it can feel great, but it
Speaker 1: can also at the same time be intimidating because your
Speaker 1: mind goes crazy. The hardest part of being a dad
Speaker 1: after divorce is remembering. So I think people make a
Speaker 1: big mistake when they get divorced in feeling like they
Speaker 1: don't want it to affect their kids. That's an unrealistic
Speaker 1: goal because it absolutely will affect your kids, whether you
Speaker 1: want it to or not, it will. Their parents are
Speaker 1: now living two separate lives, and they're going back and
Speaker 1: forth having to adjust to fitting in with both both
Speaker 1: of those lives. What you can do as a parent, though,
Speaker 1: is you can choose how it affects your kids, whether
Speaker 1: it's a really healthy, good situation where you you are
Speaker 1: respectful of the other person, whether you truly cherish your
Speaker 1: kids when it's your time with them or not, how
Speaker 1: special you make it for them. They could end up
Speaker 1: with two households that are great instead of just one,
Speaker 1: so it could be a really valuable positive experience, and
Speaker 1: you could show them that there is no stigma involved
Speaker 1: with parents separating and they realize like, oh, yeah, my
Speaker 1: parents separated, but it was it was amazing. The people
Speaker 1: they ended up with were great. The two homes were great.
Speaker 1: I always felt loved in both of them. That's that's
Speaker 1: within your control. So like, figure out what is in
Speaker 1: your control and live consciously with it in every situation.
Speaker 1: Make a choice to never say anything negative about the
Speaker 1: other parent in front of your kids. Make it the
Speaker 1: best situation it can be. And sometimes that's not easy
Speaker 1: to do. You know, sometimes co parenting isn't easy. One
Speaker 1: parent is much healthier than the other in a breakup
Speaker 1: and in relationships ending, so you're having to kind of
Speaker 1: take some shots here and there. You know, you end
Speaker 1: up with some scars on your tongue from biting it
Speaker 1: so much. But we're adults. That's what separates us from kids.
Speaker 1: We've lived a life where we now should be able to,
Speaker 1: in an adult way, look at a situation and figure
Speaker 1: out the best way of moving through it. We're not.
Speaker 1: We're not young where our emotions are sort of on
Speaker 1: our sleeve, on our sleeves and we just sort of blah.
Speaker 1: As soon as you know, as soon as something happens,
Speaker 1: you say how you're feeling, you freak out. You like,
Speaker 1: we are grown, and part of being grown is having
Speaker 1: the ability to do that. I think. So as a dad,
Speaker 1: it's being a dad is being a parent is hard.
Speaker 1: Be the best dad you can be. Just love your
Speaker 1: kids like it's their time now. Your your time is
Speaker 1: do what you want to do with your time when
Speaker 1: your kids are at their moms. But when your kids
Speaker 1: are with you, they need a dad. I don't just
Speaker 1: need a friend that takes them to Disneyland and the
Speaker 1: ice cream shop and the movies and is sort of
Speaker 1: a fun weekend dad. They need a parent. They need
Speaker 1: a father. So be that even when it's hard, you
Speaker 1: can do it. They have faith in yourself, you can
Speaker 1: do it. Next voicemail, So my.
Speaker 3: Name is Stephanie, and this question is for Brian Austin
Speaker 3: Green and it is. Do you think the majority of
Speaker 3: men are turned off after watching their partner give birth vaginally?
Speaker 3: Are they turned off sexually? Thank you?
Speaker 1: Wow, Stephanie. I think that depends. I think, unfortunately, the
Speaker 1: answer to that question depends on the relationship itself, the
Speaker 1: person you're with, why you all are together. If you're
Speaker 1: with someone that just absolutely loves and adores you, it
Speaker 1: is a miracle what you're doing. And vaginal birth is
Speaker 1: just incredible to witness, to realize, like what all the
Speaker 1: female body can do. If I'm just sort of in
Speaker 1: something just because I'm physically attracted to that person, and
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden that body part is no
Speaker 1: longer just mine, you know. I sure for some men,
Speaker 1: I think absolutely they can be turned off because to them,
Speaker 1: that part of the body is just purely for sport.
Speaker 1: You know. It's just like it is just it's just
Speaker 1: a part of you that I that I use and
Speaker 1: you use me, and we use things together and we
Speaker 1: have fun and it's just that, oh my god, that's
Speaker 1: meant for more than just me. Well, I don't know
Speaker 1: how I feel about that. I think there I think
Speaker 1: there are some men that are in relationships where that
Speaker 1: is that's the case. I hope, I really hope that
Speaker 1: women that go through pregnancy and childbirth are with someone
Speaker 1: that values them and what it is they're doing, uh
Speaker 1: and and the fact that they're creating life because it
Speaker 1: is there's nothing cooler on the planet. I hope. I
Speaker 1: hope you're with the with the one that's there for
Speaker 1: the right reasons. And I hope that answers your your question.
Speaker 1: Did your guy friends show up for you the way
Speaker 1: you expected after your divorce? Yes, they did, and then
Speaker 1: some I don't. I honestly don't know what I expected
Speaker 1: my friends to do when my divorce was happening. The
Speaker 1: two friends that I was lucky enough to have at
Speaker 1: the time were fantastic. Our kids went to school together,
Speaker 1: we knew each other really well, and they were fantastic
Speaker 1: at just holding space for me and just being there
Speaker 1: and loving me and being whatever I needed in any moment.
Speaker 1: I you know, I didn't. I don't know if I
Speaker 1: had expectations because I didn't know. I wasn't really prepared
Speaker 1: for it. I didn't know what it was going to be,
Speaker 1: and they sort of rolled with the punches with me,
Speaker 1: and I think that's important, you know. I think, I
Speaker 1: think if you're a friend of someone that is going
Speaker 1: through something like that, you got to be ready to
Speaker 1: roll with the punches with them. You got to be
Speaker 1: ready to sit down and just shut the fuck up
Speaker 1: and just listen and be a fucking solid ear and
Speaker 1: a really solid love and trust partner and person in
Speaker 1: their life. You make, you make that commitment, you know,
Speaker 1: these are the times when these are the times that
Speaker 1: that you really show someone who you are in their life.
Speaker 1: It's easy to be a great friend when things are great.
Speaker 1: You can be fun to hang out with. You guys, Oh,
Speaker 1: you laugh so much when you're doing stuff together. When
Speaker 1: times get hard, are you willing to put that aside
Speaker 1: and just like sit and be there and like, you know,
Speaker 1: meet them for coffee at seven third be in the
Speaker 1: morning if they're not feeling great and tell your wife
Speaker 1: at home or whatever, Hey, so and so is really
Speaker 1: going through something right now, I'm going to go help them.
Speaker 1: That's that's an amazing quality to have. And I think
Speaker 1: if you know, if you are in a truly healthy relationship,
Speaker 1: your partner would be incredibly impressed with that. Instead of
Speaker 1: being like what you you mean you're going to leave
Speaker 1: that be like, yeah, no, that's amazing. Go do that.
Speaker 1: I hope, I hope that they're okay. Text me and
Speaker 1: just let me know how it's going and what's happening.
Speaker 1: I think when people go through situations like that, divorce, separation,
Speaker 1: loss of a job, things like that, they don't necessarily
Speaker 1: have expectations. They don't know they're feeling all sorts of things.
Speaker 1: So sometimes best way you can help them through a
Speaker 1: situation like that is just sitting with them in a
Speaker 1: completely non judgmental way, like not judging them for anything
Speaker 1: they're feeling, anything that's going on in their head, any
Speaker 1: insecurity they're having or jealousy or whatever's going on that
Speaker 1: you're just there and you just love them. And if
Speaker 1: they ask for your opinion on something, give it to them.
Speaker 1: Then if they don't, don't. A good therapist is really
Speaker 1: good at listening and seeing what a person needs, not
Speaker 1: just following a checklist of Oh, did I ask this,
Speaker 1: did I get to this, did we try this? Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: I did all the things. Oh you're still not better.
Speaker 1: That's on you. That's not really helping anyone. And it's
Speaker 1: amazing what you learn as a person. When you put
Speaker 1: yourself aside and you're there for somebody else, you hear things.
Speaker 1: You hear yourself say things, you hear the other person
Speaker 1: say things, and if you truly care, it does nothing
Speaker 1: but give you food for thought for yourself. It raises questions.
Speaker 1: You say things and you go, mmmm, God, I really
Speaker 1: need to hear myself say that, because that's something that
Speaker 1: I don't do enough of for me. I don't take
Speaker 1: enough time for me. I don't listen well enough like
Speaker 1: I don't. And you know, sometimes it's hearing yourself say
Speaker 1: those things to somebody else that makes you realize God, Okay,
Speaker 1: there was a part of me that was maybe saying
Speaker 1: that to myself as well. My guy friends absolutely showed
Speaker 1: up for me when I was going through my divorce.
Speaker 1: I'm incredibly lucky. I have four friends, two that I've
Speaker 1: been friends with for a long time and two that
Speaker 1: I have been friends with still for a long time.
Speaker 1: Not nearly as long as the other two, but they
Speaker 1: have absolutely been rocks for me, and I hope it's
Speaker 1: been the same vice versa whenever they've needed anything. So
Speaker 1: my final like, much like Jerry Springer, my final thought
Speaker 1: to everybody is. Be honest with yourself, be honest with
Speaker 1: the people that are in your life. Be willing to
Speaker 1: listen and sit and be quiet, because that can be
Speaker 1: just as valuable as someone that speaks all the time.
Speaker 1: I wish everyone health and spiritual wealth and growth and
Speaker 1: happy twenty twenty six. This is really cool, Like I've
Speaker 1: never I've never done something like this where I just
Speaker 1: sit and sort of answer questions and give advice. I
Speaker 1: really love doing this, and I really want to do
Speaker 1: it more so, if you're going through anything and you
Speaker 1: need some advice, and you're feeling lost, your divorce process, anything,
Speaker 1: myself and everybody here at I do Part two, we
Speaker 1: can help. Just send an email, you can leave us
Speaker 1: a voicemail. It's all in the info section of the
Speaker 1: show notes, so you can follow us on socials. I
Speaker 1: do Part two an iHeart podcast where falling in love
Speaker 1: is absolutely the main objective.