1 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: Hey, what's going on everybody? This is Brian Austin Green 2 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:23,759 Speaker 1: and this is part two of my I do Part 3 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: two Q and A session and I'm answering all sorts 4 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: of emails and voicemails and things that have come in 5 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:34,320 Speaker 1: from you guys. And this is the second part of it. 6 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,680 Speaker 1: And we're going to start it off right now with 7 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: a voicemail. 8 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 2: Hi, calling in to get some advice on the first date. 9 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 3: I feel like it's so easy to just. 10 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 2: Get in your head, and not that you want to 11 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:53,040 Speaker 2: be too overly prepared, but I feel like I need 12 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 2: to go in with some better questions. And I'm just wondering, like, 13 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 2: what are the type of questions that are good for 14 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 2: filtering men out and the type of questions that they 15 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 2: want to be asked too. 16 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: It's a good question. First dates are tricky. I tend 17 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,000 Speaker 1: to feel like the trap and the mistake that a 18 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,119 Speaker 1: lot of people make is going into a first date 19 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: with a sort of preconceived plan of what you're going 20 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: to ask, how you're going to be, how you're going 21 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: to present yourself. Yeah, you know, I think I think 22 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: if you are looking for a genuine relationship, you have 23 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: to be ready to be real from moment one. It's 24 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:54,080 Speaker 1: the first impression of you. There's the visual one seeing 25 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: you walk up, Oh my god, she looks beautiful today 26 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: or tonight, and then there's that thing of like, Okay, 27 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: now we sit down, how do we actually connect? Like answering. 28 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: You have all the time in the world to sort 29 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 1: of answer questions and get into that, and you can. 30 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:18,440 Speaker 1: You can ask some questions just sort of in conversation 31 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: because you genuinely want to know the answers, not because 32 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: you think it's a question that you should be asking. 33 00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: Like you sort of have a checklist of things. Okay, 34 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,399 Speaker 1: I'm going to go through, go through. Here's my checklist. Okay, 35 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: I got that one. Mark that off the list. Okay, cool. 36 00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 1: So this is how he feels about family. Okay, this 37 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,320 Speaker 1: is how he and like really really get into it 38 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah. Again, you're sitting down with someone 39 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: who could possibly end up being your best friend and 40 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: partner in life that you share things with. So it's 41 00:02:56,520 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: all about being genuine and open and real and seeing 42 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: how you feel with that with that person. If the 43 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: person you're sitting across from gives it back to you 44 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,359 Speaker 1: and they're genuine and they're open and they're real. Then 45 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: you guys are starting from the right place. You're creating 46 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: a foundation that is built on honesty and true empathy 47 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: and understanding and wanting to understand each other. And and 48 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: also from a place of I'm not perfect. You're not perfect, 49 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:43,000 Speaker 1: so let's it's kind of fun being imperfect together, like 50 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: this is sort of cool. I'm not putting any pressure 51 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: on myself of like, oh man, that's that's a mistake 52 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: that that's going to cost me. You shouldn't you shouldn't 53 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: feel that way. I feel like the honeymoon period in 54 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:04,080 Speaker 1: a relationship is when you go and when you go 55 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: on a first date, you meet someone and you ask 56 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: the questions and you're on your best behavior. You then 57 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 1: are on your best behavior for the first three four months. 58 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 1: It's the honeymoon period. But you can't sustain that because 59 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: eventually you're gonna have a tough day. You're gonna be 60 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,119 Speaker 1: traveling somewhere, it's gonna suck, You're gonna have a hard 61 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,000 Speaker 1: time at work. A friend of yours is gonna say something, 62 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: someone at a grocery store is gonna say something. You 63 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:33,599 Speaker 1: get into a you know, a fender bender with someone 64 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: someone cuts you up. There's gonna be things that push 65 00:04:36,279 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 1: you outside of that zone that you've created where you 66 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: wear the mask of perfection and what you think the 67 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: other person wants to see. At that point, the honeymoon 68 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,720 Speaker 1: period is over because now the person that you're with 69 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: is going, ooh, I didn't even know that this side existed, 70 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: So why not give them a heads up from the beginning, 71 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 1: and you know, in the very honest, real conversation that 72 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:07,880 Speaker 1: hopefully you're having with that person, talk about like your 73 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:12,520 Speaker 1: biggest pet peeves and the things that absolutely can ruin 74 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: your day. You're someone that likes to be on time 75 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:21,280 Speaker 1: for everything, or you feel really anxious when you get 76 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: someplace early, so you tend to be someone that is 77 00:05:23,720 --> 00:05:26,680 Speaker 1: like either right on time or five minutes late. Get 78 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:31,359 Speaker 1: into those conversations because sometimes they can create these really 79 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: sort of fun connections, and it's understanding someone that you're with. 80 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: So I would say toss out the questions a little 81 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 1: bit and just be a little more open to sit 82 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:50,520 Speaker 1: and listen and look at each other and connect and 83 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: see how it feels. If it feels really good being 84 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 1: in the same space as the other person, that's a 85 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: good sign. Then you can have some questions that are 86 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 1: sort of big ones to ask and you phrase them 87 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: that way. You know, you say, hey, so I've got 88 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:13,480 Speaker 1: a couple questions that are just things that are sort 89 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:19,200 Speaker 1: of deal breakers for me. Family, kids, house, pets. But 90 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: you get it. You get into the stuff I want 91 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 1: to I want to travel, but I want to have 92 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: adventures that are like this. Like you kind of get 93 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 1: into answering those things and having those conversations to really 94 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: know each other. So you may get along great, but 95 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,000 Speaker 1: then decide, you know what, we get along greatest friends, 96 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 1: so cool, I have a new friend, or you know, 97 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:42,480 Speaker 1: we get it, like, we get along really well in general, 98 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: So let's keep doing this and see where it leads. 99 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 1: I hope that helped. What does emotional safety look like 100 00:06:53,760 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: for a man? Emotional safe for a man? I can't 101 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: speak for all men. I can only give you what 102 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: feels emotionally safe for me and for my friends and 103 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: the men that are around me. Emotional safety is being 104 00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 1: with someone that doesn't judge you or make you feel 105 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: judged for not being perfect. Men in general are very 106 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 1: hard on themselves, and we internalize a lot of things, 107 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: so there's always a lot going on in our heads. 108 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:45,320 Speaker 1: If I make a mistake, but know that the person 109 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:49,239 Speaker 1: that I'm with loves me and isn't going to judge 110 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,400 Speaker 1: me for it and isn't telling me what a stupid 111 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 1: mistake or you know that well, that was a dumb 112 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: thing to do, or giving me those things, those make 113 00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: me feel terrible someone giving me uh Using words like 114 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:12,679 Speaker 1: that really affect me because they they break the part 115 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: of me that wants to be big and strong and 116 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 1: make everyone around me that I love feel safe and protected. 117 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: When someone tells me that an idea was stupid or 118 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:30,280 Speaker 1: I try too hard, or I reached too far, or 119 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:37,600 Speaker 1: that does nothing but break my spirit. Honestly, honesty is great. 120 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,080 Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's incredibly important to sit 121 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 1: with someone and go that wasn't probably wasn't the best 122 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:52,080 Speaker 1: the best idea. So how are you feeling about it? Like, 123 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 1: let's get into a conversation of how you feel about it, 124 00:08:54,720 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 1: Because you're a man is beating himself up way more 125 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: than you can, So help him unpack it in his 126 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: own mind. Help him because men aren't good at communicating, 127 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:15,559 Speaker 1: help him navigate that process for himself. Ask the questions 128 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,719 Speaker 1: that you know he's not asking himself how does he 129 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:21,720 Speaker 1: feel right now? Like were there signs that led to 130 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 1: whatever it may be? There are questions, and women are 131 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: much better at asking those questions and getting to the 132 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:34,120 Speaker 1: bottom of things and understanding things than men are. Maybe 133 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: take the time to help help him do that. I 134 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,680 Speaker 1: know when Sharna does that with me, it makes me 135 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 1: feel emotionally safe because I feel like she's not judging 136 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: me for mistakes that I made. She's helping me understand 137 00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: what I did and whether I still like it or 138 00:09:55,240 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: not after I talk about it, and then together or 139 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 1: on my own or whatever, we can then decide what 140 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:09,920 Speaker 1: the next step is. But I feel emotionally safe when 141 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,360 Speaker 1: I know she loves me no matter what. She would 142 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:17,840 Speaker 1: never say anything that makes me feel like less of 143 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:22,479 Speaker 1: myself than I am. She loves me for the mistakes 144 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: and the non mistakes, the things that were good at, 145 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 1: the things that were not good at, and she's on 146 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: that journey with me. It's all just a journey of 147 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 1: understanding and growing. So I feel the safest when someone 148 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 1: is there with me and they're supporting me no matter what. 149 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: They're supporting me for my successes just as much as 150 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:53,440 Speaker 1: they're supporting me for my failures just as much as 151 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: they are for my successes. Cool voicemail. 152 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 4: Hey, Brian, I wanted to get your take on this scenario. 153 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 4: So I recently started seeing someone and things have been 154 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,560 Speaker 4: really great, But the only thing that's throwing me off 155 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 4: is that he and his ex still co parent their 156 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:16,600 Speaker 4: dog together. They alternate every month, so one month the 157 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,680 Speaker 4: dog is with him, and then the next month it's 158 00:11:18,679 --> 00:11:21,480 Speaker 4: with her. But then what gets me is that when 159 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 4: they switch, they'll spend some time together, so they have 160 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 4: it like a like a dog parent day and it 161 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 4: almost like feel like a date to me. So, I mean, 162 00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 4: I totally understand it the split custody because I love 163 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,760 Speaker 4: dogs too, but I just feel like it's weird that 164 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 4: they come constantly see each other and have these days together. 165 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,079 Speaker 4: And again, I don't want to come across like insecure 166 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 4: controlling this early on, because it's only been a couple 167 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 4: of months so far that I've been seeing him. But 168 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 4: I just can't tell if this is something that I 169 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 4: think I'll have to be worried about for forever or okay, 170 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,960 Speaker 4: with wherever forever. The dog's pretty young too, so not 171 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:02,680 Speaker 4: to be grim, but it's not end anytime soon. So 172 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,599 Speaker 4: I wanted to get your take on this. Do you 173 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 4: think this is a red flag? Do you think this 174 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 4: something I should just put up with? Or is this 175 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 4: worth bringing up? Can't wait to hear what your thoughts are. 176 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Oh fair, There is absolutely nothing 177 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,839 Speaker 1: nothing easy about that situation. I think, you know, I 178 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 1: think it's funny some people have pets together and that 179 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 1: is the child that they had while they were together. 180 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: I mean, I think right now it's early on, so 181 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:44,160 Speaker 1: I would honestly just continue to take a step back 182 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: and go it is what it is. They they're co 183 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 1: parenting this dog. They have this like fifty to fifty 184 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:56,959 Speaker 1: visitation schedule, they see each other when they do. I mean, 185 00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,199 Speaker 1: I think it would greatly depend on what it is 186 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 1: doing when they see each other, Like are they running 187 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: on the beach with the dog together, or are they 188 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 1: like getting a hotel room and the three of them 189 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: are laying in bed and watching Netflix. Because those are 190 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:19,439 Speaker 1: very different situations. And then I think the very logical 191 00:13:19,559 --> 00:13:25,440 Speaker 1: next step if you guys continue to be together and 192 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:30,800 Speaker 1: he continues to co parent with his ex, this for 193 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 1: this dog that you are with him, that you're with 194 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 1: him when the drop offs happen and when the time 195 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 1: together happens. And you know, co parenting is you are. 196 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:52,679 Speaker 1: You are bringing into your ex's space your space and 197 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: his space now is with you, So you kind of 198 00:13:57,280 --> 00:14:00,840 Speaker 1: do that together. And I think, you know, if he's 199 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 1: open to that and that doesn't freak him out at all, 200 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: it should be totally healthy. If it does freak him 201 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,920 Speaker 1: out at all, then that's a different conversation to have, 202 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,560 Speaker 1: and that is that to me, then, is a conversation 203 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:23,760 Speaker 1: of this, Like, I've been very open to co parenting 204 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:27,160 Speaker 1: a dog and everything. It's fantastic. I think it's great 205 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,480 Speaker 1: that you do it. I hope it's a reflection of 206 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:35,800 Speaker 1: the father you are or will be. But at the 207 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,800 Speaker 1: same time, like I need to feel important also, so 208 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,840 Speaker 1: can we figure out a way where I don't feel 209 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:48,840 Speaker 1: less important in this situation? And I feel like you 210 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,720 Speaker 1: are honoring both. I love that you're honoring your animal 211 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 1: that way. Please honor me the same. Oh boy, that's it. 212 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:05,360 Speaker 1: That's a tricky one. Silver lining he is very good 213 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: at co parenting and being present, and he understands the 214 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:18,040 Speaker 1: importance of putting on a united front for something that 215 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,920 Speaker 1: is young that is younger that needs that. There's your 216 00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: silver lining. Oh my god, that's a tough one. I 217 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: don't know how I would feel, honestly, if I was 218 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 1: dating someone that was like, yeah, so my ex and 219 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:35,280 Speaker 1: I still like hang out, I would have to have 220 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: the conversation and go, hey, cool, so can I start 221 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:43,440 Speaker 1: coming with you? Like you know, it's might be uncomfortable 222 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 1: for your ex, but it's equally as uncomfortable, if not more, 223 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,920 Speaker 1: for me. And I am now the person that is 224 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:56,200 Speaker 1: presently in your life. So there should be a lot 225 00:15:56,240 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: of importance put on this relationship. Oh boy, good luck, 226 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 1: good luck with that one. What's something you wish more 227 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: women would ask men instead of assuming I okay, I 228 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:23,600 Speaker 1: really wish. And I can't stand when this happens when 229 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,520 Speaker 1: a woman or women speak about men, and they speak 230 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:33,240 Speaker 1: about men in general like they can just speak for 231 00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,520 Speaker 1: all of them, like they're all the same. We're not 232 00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:40,640 Speaker 1: all the same. Stop assuming that because one man or 233 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 1: a group of men like things this way, that all 234 00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: men like things that way. It depends on age, it 235 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:54,800 Speaker 1: depends on personality type, it depends on history. There are 236 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: so many factors that make up who a person is. 237 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:04,639 Speaker 1: So I think it's really unfair when you automatically assume 238 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:07,000 Speaker 1: that you know because oh, all men are the same, 239 00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 1: like all men, you know, all men would prefer to 240 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,560 Speaker 1: sit on the couch with their friend and drink a 241 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 1: beer and watch sports, then go on vacation with with 242 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:26,640 Speaker 1: you know, their significant other. False false false false. Pay 243 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: attention to the person that you're with, like, really really 244 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,640 Speaker 1: know them. Sharna doesn't assume that I'm like any man 245 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,920 Speaker 1: she's ever been with, because she knows. She's asked questions, 246 00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:46,680 Speaker 1: she has said ouch when things hurt, and she's seen 247 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 1: the way I respond. She has experienced the way we 248 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 1: speak to each other when we have disagreements, and that 249 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:58,560 Speaker 1: we aren't ever venomous with each other. We never say 250 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:01,920 Speaker 1: things that we can't take back. Rules in fighting, men, 251 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:06,119 Speaker 1: Rules in fighting. I always tell people, make sure that 252 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 1: you fight fair. If you're with someone that you truly 253 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:14,919 Speaker 1: care about, fight fair. Choose to never say something that 254 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: you're going to regret, because people can forgive, but they 255 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:22,760 Speaker 1: cannot forget. Did that rhyme? I feel like that rhymed? 256 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:36,640 Speaker 1: Pretty awesome. I love when that happens. What's the next voicemail? 257 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:41,440 Speaker 5: Hey Brian, I'm wondering from your perspective, do you think 258 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,760 Speaker 5: sex has gotten better with age or do you find 259 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 5: yourself missing your twenties? And then part two of that is, 260 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 5: what do you think makes a woman unforgettable in bed? Like, 261 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:53,919 Speaker 5: in a good. 262 00:18:53,760 --> 00:19:01,800 Speaker 1: Way, sex has absolutely gotten better with age because I 263 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 1: am way less concerned with how I feel in it 264 00:19:09,359 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 1: and my own insecurities, and I'm way more concerned about 265 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:17,520 Speaker 1: how she feels. And then I'm doing things that she 266 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,320 Speaker 1: truly likes, and then I'm also not doing things she 267 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: doesn't like. I think, you know, I think there's way 268 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:32,439 Speaker 1: more connection later on in life, Like I I spend 269 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 1: way more time staring into Sharana's eyes now than I 270 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:39,399 Speaker 1: did when I was younger. When I was younger, it 271 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: was like, I groom could be pitch black. It was 272 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: just an action. You sort of did it until the 273 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,879 Speaker 1: action was done. Then you were like, cool, let's go 274 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 1: make a grilled cheese sandwich or something. Now I don't 275 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,040 Speaker 1: know why a grilled cheese sandwich. It just feels right 276 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: sex And then like tomato soup and a grilled cheese 277 00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,439 Speaker 1: sandwich like after school Special, but like in after sex Special, 278 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:05,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. I yeah, when I was younger. It was. 279 00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:12,520 Speaker 1: When I was younger, sex was much more about how 280 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,560 Speaker 1: the action was perceived, So like I'd watch watch porn 281 00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:18,080 Speaker 1: and then it was like, God, I want to be 282 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,119 Speaker 1: I want to seem as cool as they do, you know, 283 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,920 Speaker 1: And so you're trying to do all the things and 284 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: you sort of like you complicate the whole situation. Now 285 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:35,880 Speaker 1: it's pretty simple. I am with my fiance because I 286 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,600 Speaker 1: love being with my fiance and I love making her 287 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:44,359 Speaker 1: feel amazing and vice versa. So we we try and 288 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,160 Speaker 1: do that as often as we can, which isn't as 289 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: often as we want because we have kids, and door 290 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,399 Speaker 1: locks get a little a little tough, especially when you 291 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,280 Speaker 1: have a young one, because you don't want to create 292 00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 1: a situation where they're banging on a door wondering why 293 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 1: the door is locked. I think my connection has just 294 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 1: changed a lot more as I've gotten older. Sex was 295 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,040 Speaker 1: way more sort of a sport thing when I was younger. 296 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: Sex now is a connection thing. It's one more thing 297 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: that we can do to feel connected. What makes a 298 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:29,400 Speaker 1: woman unforgettable in bed in a good way? I think, Well, 299 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: so that is a preference question. I mean it's like 300 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:40,520 Speaker 1: some some guys are really into the lingerie and the 301 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:44,719 Speaker 1: dirty talk and the stuff, and then some guys that 302 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:48,399 Speaker 1: doesn't do it for them at all. I think sex 303 00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:51,840 Speaker 1: is so individual, you know, it's so individual what people 304 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: enjoy and not. I think what a woman honestly can 305 00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 1: do is be as present for a guy as possible 306 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 1: and ask questions and do things that he really likes, 307 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,399 Speaker 1: and ask if he really likes them, and if he doesn't, 308 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:11,439 Speaker 1: try something else, and vice versa. I think that's what 309 00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:18,399 Speaker 1: makes for great sex is great communication with it. My 310 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:23,120 Speaker 1: fiance and I talk all the time about about things, 311 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,520 Speaker 1: about things to try, different ideas, different things. You know, 312 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 1: it's because you never know. It's those those flavors change constantly. 313 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,000 Speaker 1: You'll be someone that loves vanilla ice cream for years 314 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden you're like, God, I 315 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:45,040 Speaker 1: this strawberry is what I've been missing for the past 316 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:49,359 Speaker 1: five years of my life. It's the same thing in sex. 317 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,359 Speaker 1: It sort of kind of goes all over the place. 318 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:58,040 Speaker 1: I think what makes things the best, the best sex 319 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,359 Speaker 1: is when you don't assume that like, oh, it's just 320 00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:06,000 Speaker 1: what what seems to be hitting number one on like 321 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:11,720 Speaker 1: porn sites, but really making sure that it's tailored for 322 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:17,159 Speaker 1: the person that you're with. Does that answer it? It's 323 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,760 Speaker 1: a hard question to answer. Oh my god, I'm sweating 324 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 1: and not because it's hot like that was a that's 325 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,879 Speaker 1: a tough question to answer. Jack. What part of your 326 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 1: divorce was hardest that nobody warned you about? What's the 327 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: hardest part of being a dad after divorce? Good question, Jack. 328 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,600 Speaker 1: The part of my divorce that was the hardest that 329 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:45,960 Speaker 1: nobody warned me about was my kids. Was this was 330 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,680 Speaker 1: the breaking up of the family. You know, you have 331 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:53,320 Speaker 1: these things that become sort of routine, and whether you 332 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 1: have kids or whether it's just you and and your 333 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: your partner you're now ex partner. You have things that 334 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:03,479 Speaker 1: you did together. You have restaurants that you went to together, 335 00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,879 Speaker 1: you have waiters and waitresses that you knew you guys 336 00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:11,879 Speaker 1: were known together as a couple, and now all of 337 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: a sudden you have to walk into those places alone. 338 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:19,359 Speaker 1: And then eventually they'll see you walk in with somebody new, 339 00:24:19,640 --> 00:24:24,760 Speaker 1: and there's always that part of your brain that is 340 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,000 Speaker 1: kind of judging it, going, oh my god, what you 341 00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 1: know this is really this is a big deal. Walking 342 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:34,160 Speaker 1: into this coffee shop with this new person. I wonder 343 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:37,159 Speaker 1: what they think, Like I wonder if they're seeing this 344 00:24:37,359 --> 00:24:40,680 Speaker 1: and picking it apart, and you know, I wonder if 345 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,679 Speaker 1: they question why we divorced and if if I was 346 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:49,359 Speaker 1: the bad guy or she was the bad guy. I 347 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:55,479 Speaker 1: think sort of refinding life without the other person is 348 00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,240 Speaker 1: kind of the hardest is the hardest part, Like you're 349 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 1: sort of you're rethinking all of it. You fall into 350 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:10,840 Speaker 1: a pattern with someone and that is your day to 351 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:13,880 Speaker 1: day and now you're creating a new day to day 352 00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 1: without that person, and it can feel great, but it 353 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:24,360 Speaker 1: can also at the same time be intimidating because your 354 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:27,520 Speaker 1: mind goes crazy. The hardest part of being a dad 355 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:35,120 Speaker 1: after divorce is remembering. So I think people make a 356 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 1: big mistake when they get divorced in feeling like they 357 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:46,919 Speaker 1: don't want it to affect their kids. That's an unrealistic 358 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 1: goal because it absolutely will affect your kids, whether you 359 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,240 Speaker 1: want it to or not, it will. Their parents are 360 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: now living two separate lives, and they're going back and 361 00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:01,400 Speaker 1: forth having to adjust to fitting in with both both 362 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,480 Speaker 1: of those lives. What you can do as a parent, though, 363 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:10,240 Speaker 1: is you can choose how it affects your kids, whether 364 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:15,480 Speaker 1: it's a really healthy, good situation where you you are 365 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:20,239 Speaker 1: respectful of the other person, whether you truly cherish your 366 00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:25,000 Speaker 1: kids when it's your time with them or not, how 367 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:28,479 Speaker 1: special you make it for them. They could end up 368 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,200 Speaker 1: with two households that are great instead of just one, 369 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:36,360 Speaker 1: so it could be a really valuable positive experience, and 370 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: you could show them that there is no stigma involved 371 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,119 Speaker 1: with parents separating and they realize like, oh, yeah, my 372 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:47,960 Speaker 1: parents separated, but it was it was amazing. The people 373 00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: they ended up with were great. The two homes were great. 374 00:26:50,800 --> 00:26:53,920 Speaker 1: I always felt loved in both of them. That's that's 375 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 1: within your control. So like, figure out what is in 376 00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 1: your control and live consciously with it in every situation. 377 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,000 Speaker 1: Make a choice to never say anything negative about the 378 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:15,159 Speaker 1: other parent in front of your kids. Make it the 379 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,520 Speaker 1: best situation it can be. And sometimes that's not easy 380 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:22,440 Speaker 1: to do. You know, sometimes co parenting isn't easy. One 381 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: parent is much healthier than the other in a breakup 382 00:27:27,119 --> 00:27:32,679 Speaker 1: and in relationships ending, so you're having to kind of 383 00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:39,320 Speaker 1: take some shots here and there. You know, you end 384 00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:44,120 Speaker 1: up with some scars on your tongue from biting it 385 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 1: so much. But we're adults. That's what separates us from kids. 386 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: We've lived a life where we now should be able to, 387 00:27:55,320 --> 00:28:01,480 Speaker 1: in an adult way, look at a situation and figure 388 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,679 Speaker 1: out the best way of moving through it. We're not. 389 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,719 Speaker 1: We're not young where our emotions are sort of on 390 00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:13,399 Speaker 1: our sleeve, on our sleeves and we just sort of blah. 391 00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:16,200 Speaker 1: As soon as you know, as soon as something happens, 392 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,959 Speaker 1: you say how you're feeling, you freak out. You like, 393 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 1: we are grown, and part of being grown is having 394 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:31,399 Speaker 1: the ability to do that. I think. So as a dad, 395 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:38,480 Speaker 1: it's being a dad is being a parent is hard. 396 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: Be the best dad you can be. Just love your 397 00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 1: kids like it's their time now. Your your time is 398 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 1: do what you want to do with your time when 399 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 1: your kids are at their moms. But when your kids 400 00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: are with you, they need a dad. I don't just 401 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:03,719 Speaker 1: need a friend that takes them to Disneyland and the 402 00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:08,480 Speaker 1: ice cream shop and the movies and is sort of 403 00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:12,240 Speaker 1: a fun weekend dad. They need a parent. They need 404 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:19,280 Speaker 1: a father. So be that even when it's hard, you 405 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 1: can do it. They have faith in yourself, you can 406 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:34,120 Speaker 1: do it. Next voicemail, So my. 407 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:37,800 Speaker 3: Name is Stephanie, and this question is for Brian Austin 408 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:42,520 Speaker 3: Green and it is. Do you think the majority of 409 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:50,160 Speaker 3: men are turned off after watching their partner give birth vaginally? 410 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,360 Speaker 3: Are they turned off sexually? Thank you? 411 00:29:54,520 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 1: Wow, Stephanie. I think that depends. I think, unfortunately, the 412 00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:10,280 Speaker 1: answer to that question depends on the relationship itself, the 413 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:15,440 Speaker 1: person you're with, why you all are together. If you're 414 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:22,160 Speaker 1: with someone that just absolutely loves and adores you, it 415 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: is a miracle what you're doing. And vaginal birth is 416 00:30:29,760 --> 00:30:35,240 Speaker 1: just incredible to witness, to realize, like what all the 417 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: female body can do. If I'm just sort of in 418 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:44,560 Speaker 1: something just because I'm physically attracted to that person, and 419 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden that body part is no 420 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 1: longer just mine, you know. I sure for some men, 421 00:30:54,160 --> 00:31:00,920 Speaker 1: I think absolutely they can be turned off because to them, 422 00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:06,680 Speaker 1: that part of the body is just purely for sport. 423 00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:11,440 Speaker 1: You know. It's just like it is just it's just 424 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 1: a part of you that I that I use and 425 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:16,920 Speaker 1: you use me, and we use things together and we 426 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: have fun and it's just that, oh my god, that's 427 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 1: meant for more than just me. Well, I don't know 428 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: how I feel about that. I think there I think 429 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,880 Speaker 1: there are some men that are in relationships where that 430 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:38,400 Speaker 1: is that's the case. I hope, I really hope that 431 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:44,040 Speaker 1: women that go through pregnancy and childbirth are with someone 432 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 1: that values them and what it is they're doing, uh 433 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:57,160 Speaker 1: and and the fact that they're creating life because it 434 00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 1: is there's nothing cooler on the planet. I hope. I 435 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 1: hope you're with the with the one that's there for 436 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: the right reasons. And I hope that answers your your question. 437 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 1: Did your guy friends show up for you the way 438 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:22,960 Speaker 1: you expected after your divorce? Yes, they did, and then 439 00:32:23,080 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 1: some I don't. I honestly don't know what I expected 440 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:33,480 Speaker 1: my friends to do when my divorce was happening. The 441 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,600 Speaker 1: two friends that I was lucky enough to have at 442 00:32:35,600 --> 00:32:39,440 Speaker 1: the time were fantastic. Our kids went to school together, 443 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:45,120 Speaker 1: we knew each other really well, and they were fantastic 444 00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:50,720 Speaker 1: at just holding space for me and just being there 445 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:55,320 Speaker 1: and loving me and being whatever I needed in any moment. 446 00:32:56,240 --> 00:33:00,080 Speaker 1: I you know, I didn't. I don't know if I 447 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:05,600 Speaker 1: had expectations because I didn't know. I wasn't really prepared 448 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,440 Speaker 1: for it. I didn't know what it was going to be, 449 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:15,000 Speaker 1: and they sort of rolled with the punches with me, 450 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:20,600 Speaker 1: and I think that's important, you know. I think, I 451 00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,720 Speaker 1: think if you're a friend of someone that is going 452 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,160 Speaker 1: through something like that, you got to be ready to 453 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,320 Speaker 1: roll with the punches with them. You got to be 454 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:32,560 Speaker 1: ready to sit down and just shut the fuck up 455 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:38,760 Speaker 1: and just listen and be a fucking solid ear and 456 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:50,800 Speaker 1: a really solid love and trust partner and person in 457 00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:54,640 Speaker 1: their life. You make, you make that commitment, you know, 458 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:59,320 Speaker 1: these are the times when these are the times that 459 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:05,040 Speaker 1: that you really show someone who you are in their life. 460 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:10,399 Speaker 1: It's easy to be a great friend when things are great. 461 00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:13,399 Speaker 1: You can be fun to hang out with. You guys, Oh, 462 00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:18,200 Speaker 1: you laugh so much when you're doing stuff together. When 463 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:24,480 Speaker 1: times get hard, are you willing to put that aside 464 00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:30,319 Speaker 1: and just like sit and be there and like, you know, 465 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,160 Speaker 1: meet them for coffee at seven third be in the 466 00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,959 Speaker 1: morning if they're not feeling great and tell your wife 467 00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 1: at home or whatever, Hey, so and so is really 468 00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:42,280 Speaker 1: going through something right now, I'm going to go help them. 469 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:48,359 Speaker 1: That's that's an amazing quality to have. And I think 470 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,360 Speaker 1: if you know, if you are in a truly healthy relationship, 471 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:59,400 Speaker 1: your partner would be incredibly impressed with that. Instead of 472 00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:00,960 Speaker 1: being like what you you mean you're going to leave 473 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:06,000 Speaker 1: that be like, yeah, no, that's amazing. Go do that. 474 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:09,120 Speaker 1: I hope, I hope that they're okay. Text me and 475 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:12,880 Speaker 1: just let me know how it's going and what's happening. 476 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 1: I think when people go through situations like that, divorce, separation, 477 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:25,200 Speaker 1: loss of a job, things like that, they don't necessarily 478 00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:32,160 Speaker 1: have expectations. They don't know they're feeling all sorts of things. 479 00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:39,400 Speaker 1: So sometimes best way you can help them through a 480 00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:45,560 Speaker 1: situation like that is just sitting with them in a 481 00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,480 Speaker 1: completely non judgmental way, like not judging them for anything 482 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:54,839 Speaker 1: they're feeling, anything that's going on in their head, any 483 00:35:54,840 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 1: insecurity they're having or jealousy or whatever's going on that 484 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 1: you're just there and you just love them. And if 485 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: they ask for your opinion on something, give it to them. 486 00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: Then if they don't, don't. A good therapist is really 487 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:21,000 Speaker 1: good at listening and seeing what a person needs, not 488 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:25,520 Speaker 1: just following a checklist of Oh, did I ask this, 489 00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:28,439 Speaker 1: did I get to this, did we try this? Okay, cool, 490 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 1: I did all the things. Oh you're still not better. 491 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:38,600 Speaker 1: That's on you. That's not really helping anyone. And it's 492 00:36:38,680 --> 00:36:43,600 Speaker 1: amazing what you learn as a person. When you put 493 00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:49,040 Speaker 1: yourself aside and you're there for somebody else, you hear things. 494 00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,800 Speaker 1: You hear yourself say things, you hear the other person 495 00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:59,360 Speaker 1: say things, and if you truly care, it does nothing 496 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:05,360 Speaker 1: but give you food for thought for yourself. It raises questions. 497 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,879 Speaker 1: You say things and you go, mmmm, God, I really 498 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,480 Speaker 1: need to hear myself say that, because that's something that 499 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,759 Speaker 1: I don't do enough of for me. I don't take 500 00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:18,480 Speaker 1: enough time for me. I don't listen well enough like 501 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:23,080 Speaker 1: I don't. And you know, sometimes it's hearing yourself say 502 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:28,760 Speaker 1: those things to somebody else that makes you realize God, Okay, 503 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,520 Speaker 1: there was a part of me that was maybe saying 504 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:35,319 Speaker 1: that to myself as well. My guy friends absolutely showed 505 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,800 Speaker 1: up for me when I was going through my divorce. 506 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:46,719 Speaker 1: I'm incredibly lucky. I have four friends, two that I've 507 00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:50,600 Speaker 1: been friends with for a long time and two that 508 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:54,200 Speaker 1: I have been friends with still for a long time. 509 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 1: Not nearly as long as the other two, but they 510 00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:03,640 Speaker 1: have absolutely been rocks for me, and I hope it's 511 00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:07,839 Speaker 1: been the same vice versa whenever they've needed anything. So 512 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 1: my final like, much like Jerry Springer, my final thought 513 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:18,560 Speaker 1: to everybody is. Be honest with yourself, be honest with 514 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:22,800 Speaker 1: the people that are in your life. Be willing to 515 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,920 Speaker 1: listen and sit and be quiet, because that can be 516 00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:32,040 Speaker 1: just as valuable as someone that speaks all the time. 517 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:40,920 Speaker 1: I wish everyone health and spiritual wealth and growth and 518 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:44,960 Speaker 1: happy twenty twenty six. This is really cool, Like I've 519 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,480 Speaker 1: never I've never done something like this where I just 520 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,880 Speaker 1: sit and sort of answer questions and give advice. I 521 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:53,719 Speaker 1: really love doing this, and I really want to do 522 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,920 Speaker 1: it more so, if you're going through anything and you 523 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,920 Speaker 1: need some advice, and you're feeling lost, your divorce process, anything, 524 00:39:03,320 --> 00:39:06,800 Speaker 1: myself and everybody here at I do Part two, we 525 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:10,440 Speaker 1: can help. Just send an email, you can leave us 526 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:15,319 Speaker 1: a voicemail. It's all in the info section of the 527 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 1: show notes, so you can follow us on socials. I 528 00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:22,359 Speaker 1: do Part two an iHeart podcast where falling in love 529 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,400 Speaker 1: is absolutely the main objective.