1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:00,400 Speaker 1: Morning. 2 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:04,680 Speaker 2: Everybody's DJ Envy Charlamagne a God. We are the Breakfast Club. 3 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,440 Speaker 2: We got our guest co host Giah here. 4 00:00:06,880 --> 00:00:08,559 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, hello, beautiful people. 5 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,480 Speaker 2: Now we have a national best selling book that's on 6 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 2: out today on paperback, Real Life, Real Love. 7 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 1: So if you get a chance to. 8 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 2: Go out there and get it, you can order it 9 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 2: on Amazon, Bonds and Nobles, or wherever you purchase your books. 10 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 2: And she's here today and we're opening up the phone 11 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 2: lines eight hundred and five A five one oh five 12 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 2: to one. Before I got married, I wish somebody told 13 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 2: me this. That is the question. So let's start with you. Yeah, 14 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 2: before you got married, I wish somebody told you what. 15 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:38,599 Speaker 3: That it wasn't a cakewalk, That it wasn't as easy 16 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,239 Speaker 3: as television and fairy tales make it out to be. 17 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 3: That it takes diligence and day to day hard work 18 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 3: and dedication. 19 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 1: I'm not that easy. 20 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 3: There are times that you are. But the overarching idea 21 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 3: of marriage isn't easy because there's so many different layers 22 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 3: to it. There's love, there's family, there's the business aspect 23 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 3: of it. There's so many things to peel back, and 24 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 3: each one of those layers have sub layers. So those 25 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 3: are things that you have to consider before you decide 26 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,559 Speaker 3: to say I do, before you walk down the aisle. 27 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 3: Because most people when they envision marriage, they think more 28 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 3: about the wedding, you know, they think of the spectacle 29 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,319 Speaker 3: of it, and the beautiful dress, the bachelorette party, and 30 00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 3: that's all so exciting. But when those days are over, 31 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 3: you're back from your honeymoon, you have to dig your 32 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:36,080 Speaker 3: heels in. Then you start running into problems and you 33 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 3: have to know how to navigate those problems. And if 34 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 3: you didn't learn from your parents as an example, where 35 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 3: do you learn from? And just like I said earlier, 36 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 3: people turn to the wrong people for advice, people that 37 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 3: aren't qualified to give them advice. And a lot of 38 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 3: times the actions that people take to deal with those 39 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 3: problems aren't rooted in reality. It's not rooted in in actuality, 40 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 3: it's not rooted in trust. So they don't know. 41 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 4: What to do. So what do they do? 42 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 3: They act out of emotion. And when you act out 43 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 3: of emotion, nine times out of ten it's a bad 44 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 3: reaction and it's going to garner a bad result. So 45 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:15,359 Speaker 3: I think that people have to make it very very 46 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 3: be very proactive about learning about marriage before they decide 47 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:20,720 Speaker 3: to say I do Wow. 48 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 2: I just want to put that out there, that real life, 49 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,200 Speaker 2: real love paperboo, because right now, when we discuss all 50 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 2: that good plug this set way, now, what about you 51 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 2: shot the. 52 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:31,720 Speaker 4: Mike, I wish people told me nothing, you know what 53 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 4: I mean, because it's because it's on the job training, like, 54 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 4: and everyone's experience is different. You know, what works for 55 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:40,440 Speaker 4: you may not work for me, And there's no one 56 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:43,560 Speaker 4: set way to do this marriage thing. Like marriage is 57 00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:45,960 Speaker 4: not one size fits all. Marriage is a tailor made, 58 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 4: custom outfit that is exclusive to you and your significant others. 59 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 4: So you can tell me your experiences, but don't tell 60 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 4: me how my marriage is going to be, because you 61 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 4: really don't know because you're not me and you're not 62 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:58,440 Speaker 4: my significant other. 63 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 3: I don't think that's an I don't think that's inherently true, 64 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:05,320 Speaker 3: because there are things that are right. 65 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,080 Speaker 4: And wrong, Oh absolutely, you know. 66 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 3: And it's so interesting to me that a lot of 67 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 3: times married people engage in the wrong behavior knowing damn 68 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:18,359 Speaker 3: well that it's wrong. And I do think that there 69 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 3: are things that they're not educated to know before they 70 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,440 Speaker 3: get married. So I do think that you know, there 71 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,480 Speaker 3: are things that a person, even without the experience of 72 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:31,239 Speaker 3: being married, can share with you to help you navigate 73 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 3: your marriage, you know, even if I guess they don't 74 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 3: walk the same walk as you. 75 00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess. 76 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,000 Speaker 4: For me, it's like, when things go wrong, you'll have 77 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 4: people be like, well I would have did this, and 78 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 4: I would have did. 79 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:41,800 Speaker 1: That, but you not. 80 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,880 Speaker 3: That's ridiculous, right, yeah, right. 81 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,680 Speaker 4: You know, right, So you know, in that aspect, I'm like, 82 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,440 Speaker 4: you can't tell me how to do my marriage. 83 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 3: But is there something that someone could have told you 84 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 3: before that you got before you got married, that could 85 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 3: have helped you something that maybe you just didn't really realize. 86 00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 4: I don't know, you know. I also don't know because 87 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 4: I didn't see a lot of health marriage coming up, 88 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Like my mom and dad 89 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:07,560 Speaker 4: got a divorced. Damn near all my aunts got divorced, you. 90 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 5: Know what I mean. 91 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,920 Speaker 4: So I didn't really see a lot of relationship. I 92 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 4: saw a lot of long relationships that didn't work last, right, 93 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 4: you know, so they would together for a long time, 94 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 4: but then they all decided to go separate ways. I 95 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 4: didn't really see I didn't really have too many healthy 96 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,320 Speaker 4: relationships to look at growing up. 97 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 3: So I think that kind of like answers the question 98 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 3: in a sense. Maybe someone couldn't have told you something, 99 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,160 Speaker 3: but you probably would have benefited from good exams, good examples. 100 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,280 Speaker 1: Absolutely, let's go to the phone line. Hello, who's this. 101 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:38,279 Speaker 5: Yo, Carolina? 102 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:38,520 Speaker 6: Man? 103 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:39,039 Speaker 1: What's up? 104 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 5: Big? 105 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 1: Talk to us? 106 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,599 Speaker 2: We be before you got married? You wish somebody told 107 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 2: you what? 108 00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:46,640 Speaker 5: Yo? Before I got married? Problems? Wish somebody told me 109 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 5: it's more to it than just cheating. Like I thought 110 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 5: love of I was faithful, everything else be good. 111 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 2: As long as he was faithful, He thought everything would 112 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 2: be good. So what's what's going wrong? What's matter? 113 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:56,560 Speaker 4: What? 114 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: What? 115 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 2: What? What's bad in a relationship? 116 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:02,000 Speaker 5: I should you know, I'm gonna say it'd be it'd 117 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,840 Speaker 5: be a little thing. Like you know. They want they 118 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 5: want to be like hell all the time. Man. They 119 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 5: want to just know who you take some who you're 120 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 5: talking to, what time you're gonna be hold? What time 121 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,680 Speaker 5: do you see this? And I'm just like, it's a 122 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,159 Speaker 5: little you know what I mean? So I'm like, yo, 123 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,560 Speaker 5: tat too while. 124 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 4: We So you don't want her to care. 125 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: You don't want her to care? What you're saying, that's 126 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: not like care. You don't want to hold her at night. 127 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 5: I say, hold on now, I say all the time, 128 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 5: I said sometimes you know what I mean. It's just 129 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,359 Speaker 5: it's just like sometimes that's cool. But sometimes if you 130 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:34,200 Speaker 5: trust in your person and your all the making everything man. 131 00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,640 Speaker 4: Nowadays, now there's people not checking where you are because 132 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 4: they concern you out doing dirt. 133 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,320 Speaker 1: They checking where you are because the world is crazy. 134 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:45,520 Speaker 1: The world is crazy crazy. Hellos Hi, Hi, good morning. 135 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 6: That is unique from Mermot, Florida. Good morning, good morning. 136 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 6: So two things. Firstly, as it relates to I'm Jamaican, 137 00:05:54,520 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 6: I always late. I can't testify with jan and I'm 138 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,800 Speaker 6: always late no matter what. 139 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 2: See Sean apparently it's in Giar is always late to 140 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 2: So y'all y'all on the same plan. 141 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:07,680 Speaker 1: That easier on me? 142 00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:11,880 Speaker 6: Then yes. And then I related to the husband question, 143 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 6: I did not know that I would have been my 144 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:15,479 Speaker 6: husband maid. 145 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: Oh you made you gotta do the cleaning and cooking 146 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:18,800 Speaker 1: and everything. 147 00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 6: I gotta do everything. If you're going on vacation, I 148 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,280 Speaker 6: have to be packing for him. I gotta pick up 149 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 6: his socks because you know he gets cold. He takes 150 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,679 Speaker 6: off his socks all over. 151 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 5: Leave them. 152 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:31,039 Speaker 6: Even the dog is even much more helpful than he is. 153 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 4: Well what does he do? 154 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 5: Say? You do? 155 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 6: You work, and I work, and I work, and I 156 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 6: go to school full time, and plus we have three kids. 157 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,400 Speaker 6: But he's a coddditional kid. 158 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 2: Well, now you've got three jobs, you work, you go 159 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 2: to school, and you're the maid. 160 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 6: Tell me about it, he says, because he does the 161 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 6: yard work, he can't do the yard work and the housework. 162 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:53,679 Speaker 1: That's true. I agree that sound like y'all are. 163 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,719 Speaker 3: Okay, let's just be reasonable here. Yard work is not 164 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 3: a daily job. 165 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 6: That's work every single day. 166 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,400 Speaker 3: We have a yard and it gets maintained once or 167 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:07,400 Speaker 3: twice a week. 168 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,640 Speaker 1: You can do the yard work. 169 00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 4: Would you want to cut the grass? 170 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 1: You don't sound like a yard woman? 171 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 2: No I'm not. 172 00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 6: But that does not say you can help me around 173 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 6: the house because you have to cut the lawns. 174 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 3: So what are you going to do about it? You're disgruntled, 175 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 3: like the situation that you're in, What are you going 176 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 3: to do about it? 177 00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:26,120 Speaker 6: I complain all the time, but then it's like you 178 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,560 Speaker 6: complain today in help, but then next week it's like 179 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,440 Speaker 6: a whole different story over again. 180 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,800 Speaker 3: So why why don't you stop? 181 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 1: Because she gives them the Jamaican d and then she's 182 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: happy after. 183 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 3: You mean, she gets yeah, but then you're not. 184 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 6: Like when it comes to cleaning. So like even though 185 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 6: you complain, is that at the end of the day, 186 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,480 Speaker 6: you have to get it done. 187 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 1: And I ask you one question, Nick, are you with 188 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:49,360 Speaker 1: a Jamaican. 189 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,120 Speaker 6: Man, Yes, you're Jamaican as well. 190 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 1: Is it true about Jamaica man eating a pump. 191 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 3: Poom or should you say not not eating the pumpoom? 192 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,360 Speaker 6: I mean you manage Chinese Jamaica. 193 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:06,320 Speaker 1: Chinese? 194 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 5: What does that mean? What does that mean? What does 195 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:08,600 Speaker 5: that mean? 196 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 6: What that means looking texture? 197 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: Or they eat unique things? 198 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:18,200 Speaker 4: They eat unique things, is what she's saying here. 199 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 1: What gives it? What what you said? You can say that. 200 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 3: It means they eat rice with it's. 201 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 1: Chinese, Chinese, Chinese, Jamaican. Throw that out there. Throw that 202 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: out there. Eight hundred and five eighty five, one oh five. 203 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 2: When we're asking before I got married, I wish somebody 204 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 2: told me what we're taking your calls when we come 205 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:42,880 Speaker 2: back as the Breakfast club. 206 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:43,280 Speaker 1: Good morning,