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Speaker 1: Dearest John, it's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: story Tom podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 1: story that I think you'll love.

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Speaker 3: Sincerely Sam.

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Speaker 2: But before that, thine divine two minute at break must happened.

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Speaker 2: I bid thee farewell. See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 3: My girlfriend's mother wants her to date another man, even

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Speaker 3: though we're in a relationship.

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Speaker 4: Just put on a mustache and a disguise and become

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Speaker 4: the other man.

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Speaker 2: I met her mom once at a wedding and it

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Speaker 2: didn't go as planned. It wasn't awful, and I didn't

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Speaker 2: make a butt out of myself or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: I just didn't have a conversation with her as much

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Speaker 2: as she would have liked. I guess I was just

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Speaker 2: so distracted by the friends and the usual wedding antics.

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Speaker 2: This is the one and only time that me and

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Speaker 2: the mother have met in person. I've met the dad

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Speaker 2: a few times and we're cool. By the way, this

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Speaker 2: comes from deleted and if you want to submit your

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Speaker 2: own stories, go to the r slash Okay story Times

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Speaker 2: Dove reddit. Now this was years ago. Since then, She's

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Speaker 2: always had a slight distaste for me. Doesn't hate me,

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Speaker 2: but she never gave me another chance. I recently found

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Speaker 2: out that she argues with my girlfriend very passionately about

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Speaker 2: how I am not the right one and how my

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Speaker 2: girlfriend should date other people. These arguments have been happening

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Speaker 2: every time they come to town or my girlfriend visits them,

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Speaker 2: at least once or twice a month, and apparently it

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Speaker 2: got really intense last week. My girlfriend says her mom

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Speaker 2: had a nervous breakdown halfway through the argument while my

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Speaker 2: girlfriend was defending me and giving her the reasons why

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Speaker 2: she likes me. She's extremely stubborn, and I think that's

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Speaker 2: being generous. She does this to my girlfriend's dad too,

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Speaker 2: always mentioning how she could have had another life without him,

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Speaker 2: wishes she had dated more, et cetera, et cetera. By

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Speaker 2: the way, they got married in their late thirties. So

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Speaker 2: now there's this guy. I don't know his name or

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Speaker 2: who he is. My girlfriend's mom knows him through one

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Speaker 2: of her friends, which is her son. She keeps asking

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Speaker 2: my girlfriend to go on a date with this guy

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Speaker 2: and gets more adamant about it every time my girlfriend

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Speaker 2: mentions me lo and beholds. My girlfriend buckled and accepted

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Speaker 2: the date. She said it's the best solution to the problem.

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Speaker 2: That maybe if she just goes on one date and

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Speaker 2: explains to her mom why she didn't like him, it'll

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Speaker 2: thaw the situation. So the date is being set up

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Speaker 2: as we speak. I'm torn, of course, I didn't agree

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Speaker 2: with it. I asked what my girlfriend would think if

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Speaker 2: I were to do that, and she said it would

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Speaker 2: hurt her a lot.

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Speaker 5: I know it's only one.

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Speaker 2: Date, but I can't stand the thought of another guy

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Speaker 2: trying to put the charm on my girlfriend. Also, if

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Speaker 2: I give up my self respect by giving in, her

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Speaker 2: mom will walk all over me. Every time, I thought

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Speaker 2: of every alternative under the sun. Even told my girlfriend

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Speaker 2: to mention to the guy that she's already dating someone.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I got.

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Speaker 2: Furious when she told me that she wouldn't quote unquote

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Speaker 2: ruin the date like that. As much as I tried

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Speaker 2: to think of an alternative, I got shot down, and

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Speaker 2: it made me think that maybe my girlfriend's mom finally

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Speaker 2: got inside her head and now she does want to

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Speaker 2: date other people. She even said, well, if the date

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Speaker 2: happens soon, I can't say no. After I asked her

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Speaker 2: tobias some time by putting off the date until we

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Speaker 2: figure out a rational solution. She did have one good idea, though,

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Speaker 2: to write her mom a letter letting her know that

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Speaker 2: I'm aware of the situation and that I would love

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Speaker 2: to meet her one day. Just this simple and nice

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Speaker 2: letter explaining why we've come this far and how much

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Speaker 2: the situation means to me. I already did, and I'm

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Speaker 2: planning to send it out once we've proof read it together. However,

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Speaker 2: I feel like the situation has already worn us down

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Speaker 2: to the point that we both feel like we're on

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Speaker 2: different wavelengths all the time. The part that hurts the

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Speaker 2: most is that we had a perfect relationship with each

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Speaker 2: other and we never did anything to hurt one another

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Speaker 2: until this got in the way and made things awkward

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Speaker 2: between us. I'm not sure what to do or how

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Speaker 2: to approach it. It's depressing my girlfriend, and trying to

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Speaker 2: buy time has taken a mental toll on both of us.

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Speaker 2: I don't want her to go on the date at all.

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Speaker 2: I would never forgive myself for letting it happen without

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Speaker 2: trying my own approach first.

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Speaker 5: Edit.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for all the responses, I assure you that

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Speaker 2: I've read each and everyone, and I'm trying to respond

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Speaker 2: to them while I'm at work. I would also like

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Speaker 2: to add that if my girlfriend does choose to go

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Speaker 2: on the date, she's doing so against her judgment and

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Speaker 2: plans to keep it as brief as possible. Still doesn't

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Speaker 2: make it any more appropriate, but I just thought it

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Speaker 2: would be fair to clear that up. At number two,

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Speaker 2: her mom doesn't want us to break up, but that

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Speaker 2: she just has this insane belief that my girlfriend should

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Speaker 2: keep the relationship open until she decides exactly who she

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Speaker 2: wants to be with. This is done for two reasons.

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Speaker 2: Number one, my girlfriend has dated quite a bit and

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Speaker 2: she knows what she wants. A Number two, we've been

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Speaker 2: getting along incredibly well for the past two years, and

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Speaker 2: for some reason, her mom is convincing herself that that

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Speaker 2: is not genuine, possibly underlying issues. At at number three,

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Speaker 2: thank you all for continuing the discussion with me. I

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Speaker 2: have a pretty clear picture of what I should do now.

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Speaker 2: When she gets back into town. I will post an

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Speaker 2: update after we have a conversation about it. In the meantime,

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Speaker 2: I ask you all to believe in the ones you love,

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Speaker 2: we have the update and I think post date. So

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Speaker 2: I had a talk with my girlfriend last night. I

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Speaker 2: told her to basically put her foot down now or

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Speaker 2: we'll have to suffer her mother's toxicity for the rest

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Speaker 2: of our lives.

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Speaker 5: She said there was no way she could do that

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Speaker 5: to her mother.

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Speaker 2: Argued about it for two hours, and I told her

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Speaker 2: that she needs to grow a backbone, because if not me,

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Speaker 2: her mother will control every other aspect of her life

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Speaker 2: and continually cause unwanted misery towards her and everyone else she.

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Speaker 5: Decides to date.

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Speaker 3: Have a fair point.

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Speaker 2: It came out that the date I mentioned in the

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Speaker 2: post has been set up and she has agreed to

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Speaker 2: see him. I blew my lid and told her that

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Speaker 2: it disrespects me, our relationship, and herself. She even admitted

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Speaker 2: that her mother has in fact manipulated her into believing

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Speaker 2: that having an open relationship is a great idea. But

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Speaker 2: now I've lost all respective trust for her and there's

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Speaker 2: no way to earn it back. She said she would

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Speaker 2: compromise by going on one coffee date with this guy,

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Speaker 2: just once, and then we will take a break for

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Speaker 2: a month.

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Speaker 5: How is that sounds worse than the original plan. Oh,

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Speaker 5: is that the compromise.

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Speaker 4: It's like, instead of just going on one day, it's like,

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Speaker 4: now I'm going to go on one date and we

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Speaker 4: break up for a month.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for the sake of leaving things amicably, I agreed

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Speaker 2: quote unquote to the compromce, but I told her that

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Speaker 2: once I walk out, the chances of her seeing me

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Speaker 2: again are slim to none. He cried about that, and

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Speaker 2: for once I didn't feel sympathy for her. I comforted

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Speaker 2: her while she was crying, but my mind was already

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Speaker 2: checked out. I'm curious what the next month will bring.

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Speaker 2: She said that she will still keep in contact with

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Speaker 2: me in some way, but I'm not intent on contacting

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Speaker 2: her anytime soon. I'm just pissed that I left some

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Speaker 2: books there and that I was currently in the middle

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Speaker 2: of reading.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Hey, well, at least you've got your priorities straight in

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Speaker 4: the moment, I guess because she chose her mom.

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Speaker 3: Dude, Yeah she's Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I really like part. I see a lot of people

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Speaker 4: in Chad being like she just wanted to cheat. I

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Speaker 4: really am not picking up that vibe whatsoever. I think

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Speaker 4: she can't stand up to her mom at not at all.

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Speaker 4: Like even if it came between standing up to your

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Speaker 4: mom or our entire relationship is over, she still can't

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Speaker 4: do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's that's truly Like op was right, like, hey,

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Speaker 2: if you don't stand up at some point, then you

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Speaker 2: run the seemingly very high risk of your mom. I'm

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Speaker 2: just like getting some encouragement that she can control you more.

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Speaker 4: And just yeah, going down that pause set in the

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Speaker 4: precedent that mom is just gonna be able to railroad

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Speaker 4: all of our decisions, in our thoughts in perpetuity. Now

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Speaker 4: we need to And it's like I can't sign up

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Speaker 4: for that.

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Speaker 3: I can't.

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Speaker 4: I can't sign up for that. You have to be

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Speaker 4: able to pick us over your mom. We got to

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Speaker 4: get the shovel. This train is, like you said, running

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Speaker 4: off the rails. We need to get the shovel, pick

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Speaker 4: up the coals and throw them off the side because

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Speaker 4: this train has to stop. Maybe I'll just shoot her

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Speaker 4: a text in a couple of months, just to pick

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Speaker 4: up my books. What hurts the most is that we

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Speaker 4: had such a great relationship together. We got along well,

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Speaker 4: our arguments were very few and far between, and they

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Speaker 4: usually ended on a good note. It was a perfect relationship.

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Speaker 4: But an external force caused the downfall. It hurts because

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Speaker 4: I had no control and I basically had to give

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Speaker 4: up an incredible relationship for the sake of pleasing someone

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Speaker 4: that only matters to a certain extent. By the way,

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Speaker 4: do you know what matters Dakota more than anything in life?

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Speaker 4: More than you guys, more than anything in the world,

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Speaker 4: more than you guys, only only second above our amazing community.

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Speaker 4: What matters so insanely amazing?

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Speaker 2: Our podcast Boo Search Okay story Time on Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

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Speaker 2: where you've listened to your pods and we have two

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Speaker 6: We've approached, we've broke fifty three days.

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Speaker 5: Three days.

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Speaker 2: I feel like OPI was like, oh, our relationship was

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Speaker 2: perfect otherwise, but I feel like this actually exposed that

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Speaker 2: the relationship was not good because she was susceptible to

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Speaker 2: from pressure to her mama.

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Speaker 6: I guess it was just she wore down over time.

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Speaker 4: Huh.

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Speaker 3: It's probably happening for.

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Speaker 2: The whole relationship, arguing every time she sees her. I mean,

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Speaker 2: that doesn't excuse her, but that is a lot She's

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Speaker 2: got to.

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Speaker 4: Be able to, you know, recognize that is something that

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Speaker 4: needs change, and op being like, hey, you need to

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Speaker 4: put your foot down with your mom or this ain't working,

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Speaker 4: and she goes, I can't.

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Speaker 3: I literally can't do that.

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Speaker 5: Then you don't get the relations right. Yeah, you picked mom,

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Speaker 5: You picked mom. You're in a relationship with mom.

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Speaker 2: Now, Opie says, I just feel so defeated and I

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Speaker 2: never had a chance to defend myself or fight back.

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Speaker 3: If we hate each other, I would understand.

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Speaker 2: Oh we didn't. This breakup will stink for a while.

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Speaker 2: I'll admit that I've never been in a relationship like

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Speaker 2: this before. It was so great and then it became

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Speaker 2: a train wreck literally overnight. And edit, wow, thanks for

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Speaker 2: all the supportive comments. I just want to make one

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Speaker 2: thing clear. I haven't actually agreed to the compromise. I'm

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Speaker 2: just a nice person at heart and didn't want to

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Speaker 2: storm out of there with a big if you attached

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Speaker 2: to the story, please remember that we had some great

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Speaker 2: times and I still think she's a kind person. Maybe

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Speaker 2: not towards me or herself, but we're all human after all.

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Speaker 2: I only half heartily accepted the compromise so we could

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Speaker 2: have an amicable split. Of course, I won't take her

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Speaker 2: back after a month or follow through with the compromise.

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Speaker 2: Closing question for you, Dakota, was that not a.

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Speaker 4: Move to whoa, it was not the move now, so

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Speaker 4: you've left it like a hanging chad ooh, unfinished business.

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Speaker 5: I guess it's going to become president.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and now mom's president. Exact funny because yeah, no,

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Speaker 3: you don't need to do that.

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Speaker 4: You can if you know that already in your heart

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Speaker 4: of hearts, you just go. You know what, I'm not

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Speaker 4: okay with this. I don't want to take a break.

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Speaker 4: I think we should break up because I can't beat

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Speaker 4: your mom in the context of a relationship. And you

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Speaker 4: were with think you're right, So I agree, you know,

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Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know the whole like it

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Speaker 4: turned into a train wreck overnight. It's like sounds like

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Speaker 4: her mom was like drip feeding her, like little boyfriend sucks. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: for a long time, yes, so probably not overnight. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: she needs to work through that, yes, before she can

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Speaker 4: be in her relationship.

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Speaker 3: I think my mother.

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Speaker 4: Has been insufferable. She wanted to ambush my girlfriend.

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Speaker 5: What if she be the Navy feels I.

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Speaker 4: Twenty four female have a complicated relationship with my mother

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Speaker 4: fifty female, who constantly has my life under a microscope.

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Speaker 4: Despite not relying on her since my late teen years,

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Speaker 4: I kept limited contact through college, and trying to make

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Speaker 4: amends with her these last two years is incredibly frustrating,

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Speaker 4: as she believes she still has power over me and

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Speaker 4: my life. By the way, this comes from user chaotic

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Speaker 4: imp and if you want to submit your own stories,

262
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,960
Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. Although our

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00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,280
Speaker 4: past disputes aren't necessarily related, she has been wildly hateful

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Speaker 4: to me in the past about being a sapphig, despite

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Speaker 4: being completely fine with other queer communities besides Saffix. Because

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Speaker 4: of this, I didn't inform her of my four year

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Speaker 4: relationship with my girlfriend, twenty six female until early July

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Speaker 4: this year when we were moving apartments. We you hauled

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Speaker 4: and have been quote unquote roommates for the last four

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Speaker 4: years to her knowledge. She didn't react or say anything

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Speaker 4: when I told her and barely acknowledges it if I

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Speaker 4: ever bring our relationship or my girlfriend up. My siblings, grandparents,

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Speaker 4: and extended family all adore my girlfriend, so in my mind,

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Speaker 4: when my grandparents invited us, I had no thought in

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Speaker 4: my mind. My mother would cause such a nightmare for

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Speaker 4: me because of it. I had mentioned to my mother

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Speaker 4: that my girlfriend was coming for the holidays and she.

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Speaker 6: Didn't say anything.

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Speaker 4: Due to a change in my travel plans, I have

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Speaker 4: to drive her down with her, so I texted asking

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Speaker 4: which car we were taking so there'd be enough room

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Speaker 4: for my partner and I as well.

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Speaker 3: She proceeds to.

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Speaker 4: Spam text me, telling me that if my partner comes,

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Speaker 4: she quote can't be herself and say whatever she wants,

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Speaker 4: doesn't feel comfortable wearing pajamas around her, and wants it

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Speaker 4: to just be about family and not about her, and

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Speaker 4: then proceeds to send me links about breaking up before

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Speaker 4: the holidays.

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Speaker 3: Neurotic.

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Speaker 4: I asked my grandparents what to do, because unfortunately my mother,

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Speaker 4: their child, is the type of person that when she's unhappy,

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Speaker 4: everyone else has to suffer with her. So if my

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Speaker 4: partner comes and my mom is unsufferable, it will very

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Speaker 4: likely unlive everyone else's chance at enjoying the holiday. I'm

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Speaker 4: talking like hissy fits, starving yourself, taking off when things

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Speaker 4: don't go her way, et cetera, et cetera. My grandparents

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Speaker 4: advised me just to have my partner sit this one

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Speaker 4: out for the sake of allowing everyone a chance to

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Speaker 4: enjoy the holiday season, but they do agree my mother

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Speaker 4: is selfish. However, there isn't much they can do about

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Speaker 4: her being emotionally volatile. I give them some grace as

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Speaker 4: my grandfather is recovering from hearts so truly, if any

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Speaker 4: stress can be avoided, it's for the best. So I

305
00:13:03,679 --> 00:13:06,679
Speaker 4: had already given my girlfriend a warning earlier this week

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Speaker 4: and broke the news to her today that she's not

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Speaker 4: going to be able to come to hopefully preserve any

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Speaker 4: ounce of normality I can with my mother. My girlfriend

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Speaker 4: is understandably angry and disappointed with me for not standing

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Speaker 4: my ground. It hurts that she can't empathize with me

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Speaker 4: on this, but I really don't want to cause extra

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Speaker 4: stress on this trip. It really stinks because I was

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Speaker 4: very excited to have my girlfriend spend the holidays with

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Speaker 4: my family, only for one person's unhappiness to ruin everything.

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Speaker 4: Is there anything I can do to make everyone happy?

316
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Speaker 4: And there is an update here? Do too getting violently

317
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Speaker 4: ill over Christmas? My partner and I did not attend

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Speaker 4: the original trip, despite my mother, fifty female initially uninviting

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Speaker 4: my girlfriend. She reached out in mid February about visiting

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Speaker 4: my grandfather in his seventies as he is still declining

321
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Speaker 4: in Hell, and invited my girlfriend along too. I don't

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Speaker 4: know what I was thinking, but I was under the

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Speaker 4: impression that this was an olive branch after her behavior

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Speaker 4: surrounding the Christmas trip. Unfortunately, within forty eight hours, my

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Speaker 4: mother went full blown nuclear. On the first day with

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Speaker 4: my grandparents, she loudly and openly crap talked me, saying

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Speaker 4: I have no ambitions and am wasting my life away.

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Speaker 4: I minimized most opportunities to talk to her that day.

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Speaker 4: On the second day, she refused to engage in conversation

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Speaker 4: with almost everyone and kept walking off and doing her

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Speaker 4: own thing, which wasn't unusual. I had no way of

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Speaker 4: foreseeing how this day would escalate. That evening, my grandparents

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Speaker 4: wanted to go out to dinner, but my mother claimed

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Speaker 4: she was quote allergic to restaurant air and opted to

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Speaker 4: stay behind. Out of the blue, in the middle of dinner,

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Speaker 4: I got an urgent text, quote, your mom is ething

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00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,120
Speaker 4: crazy call me from my best friend and roommate, sent

338
00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,160
Speaker 4: to both me and my partner Apparently, my mom had

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Speaker 4: called my best friend to crap talk my partner, calling

340
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:56,480
Speaker 4: her in a controlling bible thumping, hateful, heavy drinking bigot.

341
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,360
Speaker 4: She pieced this together from my girlfriend saying she wishes

342
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Speaker 4: I would put myself out there because I deserve a

343
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Speaker 4: better job, having horrible religious trauma, feeling that the Amelia

344
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:09,920
Speaker 4: Perez movie diluted the trans experience, and having maybe two

345
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,440
Speaker 4: high noons. How that translates in my mother's mind is

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Speaker 4: beyond me.

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Speaker 2: Hey, you want my daughter to you know, stand up

348
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,040
Speaker 2: for her value and you know, get a better job

349
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Speaker 2: and everything you big it.

350
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Speaker 3: You are a monster.

351
00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,720
Speaker 4: According to my mother, my girlfriend is awful and quote

352
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,640
Speaker 4: dimming my light. She said something to the effect that

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00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,880
Speaker 4: my girlfriend is making me an uglier, worse person to

354
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,040
Speaker 4: control me and trap me in a relationship. She even

355
00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,960
Speaker 4: went so far as to threaten my best friend, saying

356
00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:41,080
Speaker 4: she'd call my father, whom she hates and who has

357
00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 4: never been a presence in our lives. My best friend,

358
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,440
Speaker 4: trying to placate my mother, said that there was nothing

359
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:48,720
Speaker 4: to be worried about and that the ideas she made

360
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:52,000
Speaker 4: up about my partner were entirely baseless. But my mom

361
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:56,200
Speaker 4: escalated further, threatening to make the car ride home miserable.

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Speaker 3: Quote.

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Speaker 6: If she my girlfriend.

364
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:00,640
Speaker 4: Doesn't talk to me, it's gonna to be a long

365
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,840
Speaker 4: car ride for her. I can't bite my tongue any longer.

366
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,840
Speaker 4: Props to my bestie. She had the foresight to record

367
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,720
Speaker 4: the last twenty minutes of the hour long phone call,

368
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,640
Speaker 4: so I got to hear the unhinged nonsense straight from

369
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:18,120
Speaker 4: the horse's mouth. At first, I was absolutely stunned that

370
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,760
Speaker 4: my mother would call my best friend because they don't

371
00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:24,240
Speaker 4: even talk, which crossed so many boundaries in and of itself,

372
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,480
Speaker 4: But the next day's.

373
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Speaker 3: Twelve hour drive home loomed over me.

374
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:30,320
Speaker 4: I couldn't put myself or my girlfriend in a position

375
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,720
Speaker 4: to be yelled at for hours. At a loss on

376
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,080
Speaker 4: how to proceed, I immediately told my partner and my grandparents.

377
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 4: They were stunned, but no one was exactly shocked given

378
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 4: my mother's track record. After talking through my options, I

379
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,880
Speaker 4: spoke with my mother that night. She was completely unhinged,

380
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 4: and I told her that if she has problems with me,

381
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 4: the people I choose to spend my time with, or

382
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,520
Speaker 4: what I choose to do, she should talk to me

383
00:16:53,720 --> 00:16:57,080
Speaker 4: about it instead. She mostly talked over me, accused me

384
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,840
Speaker 4: of reporting my family to CPS as a child, which

385
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,160
Speaker 4: I didn't claimed. I made up a history of her

386
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 4: being and completely avoided discussing what she said about my partner.

387
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,360
Speaker 4: I corrected her on the insane accusations, but she never

388
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,680
Speaker 4: once apologized for what she said about my girlfriend. Afterward,

389
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 4: I spoke with my girlfriend, and neither of us felt

390
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:20,120
Speaker 4: safe driving back with her, especially since my mother ended

391
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:24,159
Speaker 4: our conversation by threatening to quote pop off if I

392
00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:25,200
Speaker 4: said something.

393
00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 3: She didn't like.

394
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,439
Speaker 4: We decided to avoid staying in a hostile situation for

395
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,200
Speaker 4: twelve hours by renting a car, especially because we both

396
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:35,880
Speaker 4: had to work the next morning and my mother had

397
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,800
Speaker 4: already mentioned stopping at multiple places along the way when

398
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,280
Speaker 4: I tried to bring it up. I first asked mom

399
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,520
Speaker 4: about our travel plans, hoping to ease into the conversation

400
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,639
Speaker 4: despite a decent conversation beforehand. She got totally offended that

401
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,920
Speaker 4: I even asked about the trip back.

402
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:52,960
Speaker 3: I started by.

403
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,439
Speaker 4: Simply asking if she still planned to make stops, and

404
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 4: she immediately snapped, don't effing ask me what I want

405
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,200
Speaker 4: to do. I'll do what ever I want. I'll stop

406
00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:03,280
Speaker 4: if I want to stop. Don't ask me about crap

407
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:03,639
Speaker 4: like that.

408
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:04,160
Speaker 3: Awesome.

409
00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:07,520
Speaker 4: Trying to de escalate, I explained that I was curious

410
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,520
Speaker 4: because my partner and I had work in the morning,

411
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,200
Speaker 4: to which she snapped.

412
00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 6: No dip, no duh, no doy duh.

413
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,680
Speaker 4: At that point, my grandfather stepped in and said, point blank,

414
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,000
Speaker 4: the girls want to take a rental car home because

415
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,320
Speaker 4: they need to get back and don't think they can stop,

416
00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:25,920
Speaker 4: but they were scared to talk to you, grand gramps.

417
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:31,000
Speaker 3: No, you've opened Pandora's box, door box.

418
00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 2: No, we are about to crash out in all directions

419
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,400
Speaker 2: conceived in the universe.

420
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,440
Speaker 4: Honestly, I'm thinking that if I was put in this situation,

421
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:41,520
Speaker 4: I'm irish.

422
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 3: Goodbyeing for Scher.

423
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:46,919
Speaker 6: Immediately upon hearing this, she turned to me and.

424
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:51,639
Speaker 7: Spat, you are disgusting. I invite you to come with me,

425
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:54,480
Speaker 7: and you don't have any reskspect for me.

426
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,760
Speaker 6: You're a liar.

427
00:18:57,160 --> 00:19:01,440
Speaker 7: I said, I didn't want to stop anywhere, but even

428
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,560
Speaker 7: if I did, you knew going into it. You went

429
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:08,160
Speaker 7: behind my back. I don't even want to look at

430
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 7: you right now.

431
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:13,439
Speaker 4: And then she stormed off, slammed the door, come and

432
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:18,480
Speaker 4: left the house. My grandfather was so done he packed

433
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 4: us up in minutes and took us straight to the

434
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:23,840
Speaker 4: rental car service. It was heartbreaking to have such an

435
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 4: abrupt end to what was supposed to be a nice

436
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:30,160
Speaker 4: long weekend with my grandparents. But unfortunately this is nothing new.

437
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,680
Speaker 4: I haven't heard from my mother since we left. We're

438
00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,359
Speaker 4: still on the road, six hours left. My brother spoke

439
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 4: to her and apparently I've been disowned because I took

440
00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:39,760
Speaker 4: things too far.

441
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,200
Speaker 3: And you know what, by the way, you.

442
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,680
Speaker 4: Can take things, namely yourself and your ears, and you

443
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,640
Speaker 4: can take them over to your podcast platform of choice

444
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,240
Speaker 4: and you can listen to full.

445
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 6: Episodes with stories just like this.

446
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 4: Go to Spotify or iHeartRadio or Apple podcasts, literally wherever

447
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 4: you listen to podcasts, search Oka story Time, and you

448
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 4: can have it all wow, right there in the palm

449
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,479
Speaker 4: of your hand. My grandmother also spoke to her and

450
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 4: said that my mother had changed her plans and scheduled

451
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,359
Speaker 4: work for herself.

452
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:10,639
Speaker 3: In the morning.

453
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 4: She apparently was planning to drive straight home, but she

454
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,399
Speaker 4: never told anyone that. She also insists that she didn't

455
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,840
Speaker 4: say anything offensive about my girlfriend, which is ridiculous. There's

456
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 4: no way she thought my best friend, and I wouldn't

457
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,439
Speaker 4: tell my girlfriend exactly what she said. My grandmother and

458
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:30,720
Speaker 4: all but one of my siblings disagreed with my decision

459
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:33,000
Speaker 4: to leave in a rental and think I made the

460
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:38,680
Speaker 4: situation worse. Wow, Okay, so you've got grandma and everyone

461
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:39,560
Speaker 4: but one sibling.

462
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 3: Yes, all of those people have worms in their brain.

463
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,159
Speaker 2: I don't know, Like, I don't even know if you

464
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,480
Speaker 2: should do this, but I would just be compelled to

465
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,560
Speaker 2: go to them and ask, do you want to continue

466
00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:55,679
Speaker 2: to suffer under the insanity of my mother? Is that

467
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,120
Speaker 2: what you want to continue?

468
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 3: Do it?

469
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 4: Like?

470
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:01,479
Speaker 3: How are we not at least a using the real

471
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,280
Speaker 3: issue here, which is my me?

472
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,080
Speaker 4: But see, I have a feeling it's because they might

473
00:21:07,119 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 4: not be having these issues.

474
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 2: I wanted privacy after I gave birth, but my mom

475
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 2: refused to hear it.

476
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 3: La la la la, I am not listening. La la

477
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 3: la la la la la la la la.

478
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:18,960
Speaker 5: Listen up, Mom.

479
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 2: Also traumatic births. If you want to skip this one,

480
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,360
Speaker 2: go to the next one. Well, I thirty five female,

481
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 2: and my husband thirty five male, and I are expecting our.

482
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 5: First baby in a couple of weeks.

483
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:29,439
Speaker 2: We have explained to both sides of our families that

484
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 2: we just want to enjoy our first moments as parents,

485
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,160
Speaker 2: so no one will be visiting us on the day

486
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 2: our baby is born. By the way, this comes from

487
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 2: visual Armadillo five thirty seven. If you want to submit

488
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime stubreddit.

489
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,520
Speaker 2: So the first few hours are crucial for bonding with

490
00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:46,879
Speaker 2: skin to skin contact, and we want to soak up

491
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,200
Speaker 2: all the special moment between the three of us while

492
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,679
Speaker 2: recovering from the birthing experience. Some backstory. I have a

493
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,600
Speaker 2: very complicated relationship with both of my parents. However, my

494
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 2: mother can be very self absorbed, and throughout my life

495
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,200
Speaker 2: she has used her child to o'm to create trauma

496
00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,679
Speaker 2: within her own children. She was physically harmful and often

497
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 2: blamed it on our behavior. For example, she wants bit

498
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 2: me so hard that I was covered in bruises and

499
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,800
Speaker 2: then told me not to tell anyone because I had

500
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:14,280
Speaker 2: bitten her first. She said she was only teaching me

501
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,480
Speaker 2: a lesson that if I told someone, I would be

502
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 2: quote unquote the naughty one, not her. I was in

503
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,159
Speaker 2: three k. So she is always willing to help her children,

504
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 2: whether financially or by taking care of things we briefly

505
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 2: mentioned we want to do ourselves. However, even when we

506
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 2: refuse and ask her not to help or send money.

507
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 5: She disregards our wishes.

508
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,919
Speaker 2: Later, she throws her quote unquote kindness in our faces,

509
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 2: saying things like, after all I've done for you, I'm

510
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:40,359
Speaker 2: your only mother When you need something, I did this

511
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,920
Speaker 2: for you without you even asking, and now you treat

512
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 2: me like this, I'm never helping you again.

513
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 3: She boasts about how much she has.

514
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,840
Speaker 2: Done for us, and often shares our personal news as

515
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 2: if it were her own. If we get upset, she

516
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,199
Speaker 2: claims that we are selfish. We need to get over it.

517
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:57,600
Speaker 2: She constantly makes everything about her feelings while disregarding ours.

518
00:22:57,640 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 2: In the past, she has used things we can fight

519
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,680
Speaker 2: it in her, whether medical or emotional, against us, both

520
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,119
Speaker 2: publicly and privately. She has even told me that she

521
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,840
Speaker 2: tried to unlive herself because of me and my actions

522
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: when I set boundaries, try to explain my perspective, whist

523
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,360
Speaker 2: my words, and tells others a false narrative to make

524
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 2: herself the victim. When I told her that we don't

525
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,280
Speaker 2: want visitors at the hospital, she made it about herself,

526
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:22,680
Speaker 2: and she said she hopes our.

527
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 5: Children do the same to us.

528
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,400
Speaker 2: One she claimed that after everything she has done and sacrificed,

529
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 2: I am stripping her of the right to be there

530
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 2: for my child's birth. She called me selfish spoiled, saying

531
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,160
Speaker 2: I am robbing her of the chance to meet her

532
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 2: first grandchild.

533
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 3: This left me shocked. She isn't a first time grandmother.

534
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 2: I have nieces and nephews, and I refuse to be

535
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:48,120
Speaker 2: gasola into forgetting that this happened almost two months ago,

536
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 2: and I spent hours crying over it, and my husband

537
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: fully disupports the decision that we've made together. Now that

538
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,679
Speaker 2: the birth is only a couple of weeks away, this

539
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 2: has been on my mind more and more processing the guilt.

540
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 2: Even though I know this is the right decision for me,

541
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,400
Speaker 2: I still feel guilty my entire life. She has brainwashed

542
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,439
Speaker 2: me into validating her feelings while disregarding my own. As

543
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 2: Charlotte would say, I'm a former people pleaser, but for

544
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 2: some reason it still hurts. I feel like I'm being horrible,

545
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 2: even though I know logically I am not. My mother

546
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,159
Speaker 2: sees a therapist, but I believe that she manipulates what

547
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,479
Speaker 2: she shares their conversations seem to stay surface level so

548
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 2: she can present herself in a good light. I, however,

549
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 2: speak to my psychologist on a deeper level, even when

550
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 2: it makes me look bad. Now, I sometimes argue with

551
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 2: my mother when she continuously triggers me or puts me down.

552
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,719
Speaker 2: For example, she once spoke to me in a horrible

553
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,160
Speaker 2: way at my own home while I was heavily pregnant.

554
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 2: My husband was home but wasn't in the room when

555
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 2: she started using vulgar language. I calmly told her, if

556
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,199
Speaker 2: you want to use that language directed toward me in

557
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:51,199
Speaker 2: my own house while I'm pregnant, you can leave, but

558
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 2: if you stop and stay. She then stormed out and

559
00:24:54,119 --> 00:24:56,879
Speaker 2: slammed the door and swore outside, yelling that I just

560
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: told her to get the f out of my house

561
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,479
Speaker 2: and off my property because the scene trying to get

562
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 2: my husband on her side.

563
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 5: We have cameras all.

564
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 2: Of our house, so it was all recorded. My husband,

565
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 2: who is my biggest supporter and my best friend, was shocked.

566
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 2: He wasn't raised by a mother like mine, so sometimes

567
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 2: her behavior leaves him flabbergasted. While she's still in my life,

568
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,400
Speaker 2: some people have asked why I still have a.

569
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:20,360
Speaker 5: Relationship with her.

570
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,000
Speaker 2: Coming from a specific ethnic background, family is an important

571
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,560
Speaker 2: part of our culture. To the outside world, things are

572
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 2: painted differently. There's a lot of competitiveness and gossip, but

573
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 2: I don't want to compete or talk about other people's lives.

574
00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 2: That's a generational thing that I refuse to participate in.

575
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: I feel emotions very deeply and always consider how others

576
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 2: might be struggling. I believe one interaction could help someone

577
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 2: push through whatever they're going through. Because of this, even

578
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,919
Speaker 2: sharing my mother's behavior makes me feel guilty. However, I

579
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 2: know what she has done is wrong. She isn't always

580
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 2: like this. We have some good days and the little

581
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 2: girl in me who is healing sometimes just wants a

582
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 2: hug for her. She also has severe health problems, and

583
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 2: I don't don't want to have any regrets on my side.

584
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:04,440
Speaker 2: She helps look after my nieces and nephews and has

585
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 2: never harmed them. However, she does disregard rules and boundaries

586
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 2: my siblings have set in place, all under the guise

587
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 2: of spoiling them. For example, she allows them to watch TV,

588
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 2: gives them food they aren't supposed to have, or doesn't

589
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 2: follow their schedules. If Confronted, she says, they're my grandchildren.

590
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 2: If I want to spoil them, all right, well.

591
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,719
Speaker 3: They're my good and the babies, which to some extent

592
00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 3: it's like.

593
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,520
Speaker 6: I remember being like grand my grandma cookies.

594
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:30,520
Speaker 3: But like, you know, like.

595
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,600
Speaker 4: It's still a if the if you're your child, if

596
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 4: you're the grandma, if your child comes to you and goes, hey,

597
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 4: I don't want to be given so many sweets.

598
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 3: To my child.

599
00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, you gotta kind of be like, I mean, you know, ay,

600
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 6: I'll give less.

601
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:43,119
Speaker 5: Yeah.

602
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 2: I feel like there's there's there's like you have this

603
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 2: like wiggle room of reasonabil like oh, let's let's get

604
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,640
Speaker 2: you guys in ice cream, you know, like yeah, okay,

605
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 2: while but.

606
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 6: Grandparents that you think want to be fun.

607
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,920
Speaker 2: And that of the time, I know she won't physically

608
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 2: harm them the way she did me. The physical abuse

609
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:03,160
Speaker 2: was directed only towards me and not my other siblings.

610
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,640
Speaker 2: Opie says some final thoughts, thank you everyone has given

611
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 2: me advice so far. We're only halfway through the story,

612
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 2: so you stay locked in there. It has helped me

613
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 2: gain clarity, especially since I am working to break free

614
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 2: from the conditioning I grew up with. I will post

615
00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,479
Speaker 2: an update after the birth once we've settled in with

616
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 2: our little bundle.

617
00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,520
Speaker 5: Of joy, and we have the update here.

618
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 2: Two weeks ago, we welcomed our perfect little boy into

619
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 2: this world and he has completely changed our lives. We're

620
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 2: absolutely obsessed with His birth was nothing like I expected.

621
00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,440
Speaker 2: I went into labor, but things took a turn when

622
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 2: both mine and the baby's hearts rates started dropping. Before

623
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,280
Speaker 2: I had time to process what was happening, I was

624
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,520
Speaker 2: being prepped for an emergency c section. It was overwhelming,

625
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 2: but thankfully everything went well and our little one arrived

626
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,920
Speaker 2: the stack. Since things moved so quickly, I told my

627
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 2: husband to update both our parents just so they knew

628
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,879
Speaker 2: what was happening. It was a lot to deal with

629
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 2: in the moment, so we wanted them to be aware

630
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 2: if things took a turn. My husband mentioned that we

631
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,000
Speaker 2: didn't want anyone showing up or overwhelming us with message,

632
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 2: and thankfully they actually respected that. My mom only messaged

633
00:28:03,960 --> 00:28:07,240
Speaker 2: my husband, which was surprising, but honestly appreciate it. Because

634
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 2: we hadn't expected to be in the hospital for six days.

635
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 2: We only had one set of keys with us. My

636
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 2: husband didn't want to leave my side, so He ended

637
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 2: up giving them to my mom so she could feed

638
00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,240
Speaker 2: our animals while.

639
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 5: We were gone.

640
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,359
Speaker 2: By the time we were finally discharged, we realized we

641
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,440
Speaker 2: didn't even have a way to get into our own house,

642
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 2: so my family had to be there to let us in.

643
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: When we got home, I was actually touched by what

644
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 2: she had done. She had made sure our beds were comfortable,

645
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,719
Speaker 2: set up the baby's basinette, and even put fresh towels

646
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 2: in the bathroom. It was one of those rare moments

647
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 2: where I thought.

648
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:36,240
Speaker 5: Maybe things are changing.

649
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 2: It felt like she really wanted to help out overstepping

650
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,280
Speaker 2: but of course, but of course, it didn't take long

651
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 2: for things.

652
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 5: Take a turn.

653
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 2: She had also decided to cook a brunch meal for us,

654
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 2: which would have been great, except she left the kitchen

655
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 2: in absolute chaos. Instead of coming home and resting, we

656
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,600
Speaker 2: had to spend time cleaning up after her. It wasn't

657
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 2: the end of the world, but it was frustrating like

658
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 2: she only thought halfway through what would actually be helpful.

659
00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 2: Then came the boundary pushing. She was very eager for

660
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 2: me to announce the birth. She kept bringing it up,

661
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 2: saying things like people are asking, and don't you just

662
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 2: want to share your happiness. But the thing is I

663
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 2: was happy. I didn't feel the need to broadcast it

664
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,120
Speaker 2: on social media just for her sake. I told her

665
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 2: I wasn't ready, but she kept pushing, and it honestly

666
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,880
Speaker 2: put a sour taste in my mouth. And then, of

667
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 2: course the parenting advice started. According to her, I'm too

668
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 2: attached to my baby and I'm holding him too much.

669
00:29:30,640 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 2: You don't want to make him needy, she warned, as

670
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 2: if giving my child love and comfort is a bad thing.

671
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 2: She went on about how babies should be left to

672
00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 2: be settled on their own, how I shouldn't spoil them

673
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:43,800
Speaker 2: by responding too quickly, basically the complete opposites how I

674
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,640
Speaker 2: want to parent. She also made sure to remind me

675
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 2: that she's raised so many kids and that we all

676
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,640
Speaker 2: turned out just fine because of how she did thing

677
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 2: I couldn't help myself. I told her that actually, none

678
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 2: of us turned out all that great, and we all

679
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 2: have our issues. The difference is I'm actively trying to

680
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 2: work through mine instead of pretending they don't exist. I

681
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 2: will be parenting my child my way, just like she

682
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: got to parent hers her way, and honestly, after everything,

683
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: my mental state has been all over the place. The

684
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:14,440
Speaker 2: birth was terrifying. I feel like anyone who has been

685
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 2: through an emergency C section will understand. It's such a

686
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 2: mix of emotions. On one hand, I was excited to

687
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 2: finally meet my baby boy. On the other hand, I

688
00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,760
Speaker 2: was praying I was going to pass away before I

689
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 2: even got the chance to. I've wanted to be a

690
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: mother my entire life, so in that moment, everything felt overwhelming.

691
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:33,200
Speaker 2: I didn't even get to enjoy holding him. When they

692
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 2: passed him over the curtain. I was in and out

693
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 2: of consciousness, barely able to process what was happening. I

694
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 2: always imagine I'd have this emotional, beautiful moment where I

695
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: saw him for the first time, but instead I was

696
00:30:44,240 --> 00:30:47,000
Speaker 2: just scared I'd never see him again. By the way,

697
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 2: if you ever scared that you'll never see us again,

698
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 2: I have fantastic news. You can go to Spotify, Apple

699
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 2: Podcast or your favorite podcast that and you can listen

700
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 2: to full episodes of Us No Way for Eternity for

701
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,840
Speaker 2: until the space time continuum collapses. You can.

702
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,800
Speaker 5: You can have us there with you.

703
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 6: As long as you only listen to like what one

704
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 6: hour a day. So we got fifty three. That's a

705
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 6: fifty three day long eternity.

706
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 3: But we're, but we're, but we're continuing to add more.

707
00:31:17,600 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 4: So it's just you only listen to one hour a day, Yes,

708
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 4: then you'll never ever make any pros.

709
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 3: If you listen like a reasonable human you were, you

710
00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 3: will quite literally.

711
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 2: Never run out of contents. Okay, check out the podcast

712
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 2: true Okay story. Through it all, my husband has been

713
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 2: absolutely amazing. He has supported me every single moment, picking

714
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,440
Speaker 2: up the baby when I can't, feeding him when I can't,

715
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 2: helping me get him changed, wiping me, showering me.

716
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:40,320
Speaker 3: I truly don't.

717
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 5: Think I would vote be okay if it weren't for

718
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:42,680
Speaker 5: his support.

719
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: I just wanted to give you all an update and

720
00:31:44,240 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 2: say thank you for all the advice you've given me.

721
00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:48,680
Speaker 2: This whole experience has been nothing like I expected, but

722
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 2: I am taking it all one day at a time.

723
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,440
Speaker 2: And just to close off, shout out to OP for

724
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 2: having to navigate a insane childhood, a insane adulthood with

725
00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 2: her mother very scary and hence experience of the C section,

726
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 2: OPI or champion, and shout out to w husband, and

727
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,680
Speaker 2: you know this is what it looks like. I think

728
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 2: to really try and be healthy and grow and just

729
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:11,680
Speaker 2: be a better person.

730
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,840
Speaker 1: We else, she said, My guy, Hey, it's Sam. We're

731
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 1: gonna get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

732
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 1: of bads from our sponsors.

733
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 3: My husband moved and his mother with Alzheimer's. I can't

734
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 3: take it any longer, honestly. Yeah, it's a hard situation.

735
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 7: Eh.

736
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:27,160
Speaker 6: I don't even have anything funny to say about that.

737
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 6: That's just hard.

738
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 8: Yeah, that is really hard. I'm very much at the

739
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 8: end of my rope here with this situation. My husband's

740
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 8: mother has Alzheimer's. It became evident this year that she

741
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 8: could no longer manage to live alone without supervision.

742
00:32:37,680 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 3: That's really very hard.

743
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 8: We live in a three bedroom house, and so my

744
00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 8: husband wanted to move her into one of the spare rooms.

745
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 8: I agreed to this only as a temporary solution until

746
00:32:47,080 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 8: we found a home for her to be moved to.

747
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 8: By the way, this comes from Alzheimer's woes. And if

748
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 8: you want to submit your own stories, go to our

749
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 8: slash Okay story time supread it. So we had a

750
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 8: very long discussion about this, and I told them very

751
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 8: seriously that neither of us is equipped to be her

752
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 8: home nurse. He agreed and promised me it would be

753
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 8: a short stay and he would begin to look at

754
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 8: homes immediately. It is now a month later. My husband

755
00:33:10,320 --> 00:33:13,400
Speaker 8: has not found a home. I don't even think he's

756
00:33:13,400 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 8: been looking that hard. His mom needs to be supervised

757
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 8: with everything. It can't even make her own meals. I

758
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,480
Speaker 8: found a slice of toast in the sink because she

759
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 8: had mistook it for a dish and tried to wash it.

760
00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 8: He almost ate canned cat food, thinking it was canned ham.

761
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 8: This forces me to prepare her meals for her. This

762
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 8: is really really hard.

763
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 3: Okay, but where is he? That's the thing. Where is he?

764
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 3: Is he at work?

765
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:33,680
Speaker 5: What's he doing?

766
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 3: Where is he?

767
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 8: I work from home, so between eleven am and four pm,

768
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 8: I am doing work on my laptop. I cannot focus

769
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:42,040
Speaker 8: on what I have to do. I translate legal documents

770
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 8: because she wanders into my study and starts talking to

771
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 8: me about nothing. She thinks because I'm at home and

772
00:33:46,600 --> 00:33:48,960
Speaker 8: on the computer that I'm not busy. The house is

773
00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:50,880
Speaker 8: a mess. When it was just my husband and I

774
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 8: living here, everything stayed clean and tidy. I washed the

775
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:56,600
Speaker 8: floors once a week and that was fine. Now I

776
00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 8: find myself having to clean almost every day because his

777
00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 8: mother spills things on the floor and drags in mud

778
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 8: from our garden and yard. She is dirty and leaves

779
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 8: dishes and cups on top of her kitchen island as

780
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:08,800
Speaker 8: if to say, you put these away. She doesn't flush

781
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 8: the toilet, she leaves pieces of food out to mold.

782
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,439
Speaker 8: She smells sour because she forgets to bathe for days

783
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,600
Speaker 8: on end, and I adamantly refuse to take on that

784
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 8: task as well. My husband is the one who tells

785
00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:20,399
Speaker 8: her to go bathe. Our spicy sleep life is flatlined.

786
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 8: He's too tired and stressed, and I'm too annoyed. There's

787
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 8: always the fears she's going to barge in too, because

788
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:29,040
Speaker 8: she doesn't register anything. I am sick of this. My

789
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 8: house feels like a prison. My husband is useless. All

790
00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 8: he says is I haven't found the right home for mom.

791
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 8: Or if he sees her being slightly more lucid than

792
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 8: the day before, he makes excuses that she's made an improvement. Oh,

793
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 8: today she made her own toast and ate it instead

794
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 8: of putting it in the sink. Would be It is

795
00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 8: beginning to feel like we'll be stuck with her until

796
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:47,839
Speaker 8: she passes away, which I think Op is saying there,

797
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 8: like he keeps saying, oh, she's getting better, she's getting better.

798
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 8: She put her toast in the in the trash and

799
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:53,680
Speaker 8: it's like no.

800
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 9: He's like he's trying to take anything as a victory

801
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:58,160
Speaker 9: right now. Yeah, which is so sad.

802
00:34:58,280 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 5: I get it.

803
00:34:58,840 --> 00:34:59,960
Speaker 3: I'm putting myself.

804
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 4: In the sho Like if this was my mom, absolutely,

805
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 4: and if I saw like my wife posted and said

806
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 4: some stuff like this, I think I'd leave her.

807
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 6: I'm not gonna lie.

808
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 3: That's just me. I don't think I could get over

809
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 3: being like.

810
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 4: She made a piece of toast, whoopee, Like I'd be like, dude,

811
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:14,240
Speaker 4: that's my mom.

812
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,200
Speaker 3: Like I don't know. But also I don't know. I

813
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:17,359
Speaker 3: feel I'm feeling a lot of them.

814
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 4: She's sick, she's ill, and I know that she's not

815
00:35:20,200 --> 00:35:22,959
Speaker 4: wrong either, like she's right on it. It's like, yeah,

816
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 4: she needs to be in a home. I am not

817
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,600
Speaker 4: a caregiver. I have a job. But it's just like

818
00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:28,439
Speaker 4: we all have a straight point. It's been a month.

819
00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,880
Speaker 3: I think it's both of them. It's like damn, yeah, I.

820
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 4: Don't think i'd be able to look at my partner

821
00:35:32,239 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 4: the same way if I found out she was saying

822
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 4: this stuff. I don't but that's just me and maybe

823
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 4: I'm Mommy's boy. But yeah, I don't know.

824
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 8: This situation is turning me into a bad person. I

825
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 8: resent his mother now, and I am shamed to say it,

826
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 8: but I start hoping she will have an accident. Oh

827
00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 8: that landswer in the hospital, so she's finally out of

828
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 8: the house. I can't live like this anymore. Yes, I

829
00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:54,000
Speaker 8: feel bad because it's his mom and the only family

830
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,959
Speaker 8: has left, but this is not the life I signed

831
00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 8: up for. I need my house back and my peace

832
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 8: of mind too. I want the kitchen to stay clean

833
00:36:00,960 --> 00:36:02,960
Speaker 8: for more than a few days, and the floor to

834
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 8: sparkle for more than today. I want my quiet mornings

835
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,279
Speaker 8: back to myself. I want to take a bath and

836
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:09,239
Speaker 8: not worry about how long I'm taking because of what

837
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 8: she may be doing. How do I approach this with

838
00:36:11,440 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 8: my husband? I am tired of him pussy footing around,

839
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 8: saying we'll see how there's week goes, and putting it off.

840
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 8: I need to talk to him in a way that

841
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:21,560
Speaker 8: is both sensitive and firm. Desperate or some advice? Wow, Now,

842
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 8: he's an edit and an update. Yeah, I think you

843
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 8: go to him and you say, like, hey, I love

844
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 8: your mom, and I understand that you love your mom

845
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,600
Speaker 8: a lot, but like we can't help her. Her quality

846
00:36:30,600 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 8: of life here is bad, and like I want her

847
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:34,120
Speaker 8: to have the best quality of life and I think

848
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 8: that she will get that with someone who has the

849
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,120
Speaker 8: time and inability to care for her. And let's work together,

850
00:36:39,239 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 8: because I notice that you know you're having trouble doing

851
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 8: this and like finding a place for it.

852
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:43,520
Speaker 3: Let's do it together.

853
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:45,799
Speaker 8: Let's take a like a weekend or maybe a couple

854
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 8: of weekends, look through all of them together, find a place. Unfortunately,

855
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:52,840
Speaker 8: it's going to require more things from you. But I

856
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:54,359
Speaker 8: think you have to hold his hand a little bit

857
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,239
Speaker 8: in this moment, yeah, because this is really really hard

858
00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,279
Speaker 8: for him to There is an edit though, Oh my god,

859
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 8: you guys. I'm so overwhelmed by the support and responses.

860
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 8: I actually sat here and cried for a bit. I'm

861
00:37:04,160 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 8: sorry if I came off as angry. There's been so

862
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:08,399
Speaker 8: much built up frustration. It felt good to actually say

863
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 8: how I feel to someone.

864
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the event, That's what I was thinking.

865
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:12,759
Speaker 8: I'm talking to Mike when he gets home today and

866
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 8: the reason. So let's get into it. Hi, everyone, I

867
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 8: wanted to post an updates, and so many people requested

868
00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 8: one In the first post. I know it's been quite

869
00:37:20,840 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 8: some time, but a lot has happened and it finally

870
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 8: calmed down enough that I could find the time to

871
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 8: post good news. Husband's mom is now in an appropriate home.

872
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 3: Godhang good.

873
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:32,319
Speaker 8: We were able to find a place about an hour

874
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,439
Speaker 8: drive from where we live that was seven K a month,

875
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 8: and that had pretty great reviews. We obviously toured it

876
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:40,320
Speaker 8: for first and talked to the staff and asked extensively

877
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,759
Speaker 8: about activities, cleaning, schedules, food, et cetera. Mother in law

878
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 8: was moved in this week. We were really lucky because

879
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 8: of our location, there wasn't a long waiting list and

880
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 8: there were several openings this month alone. It also helped

881
00:37:51,640 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 8: we had a strong referral from her longtime physician, the

882
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:56,000
Speaker 8: one who actually told us about this place to begin.

883
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 8: So basically what happened after that post. I called Mike

884
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 8: and told and we needed to talk when he got home.

885
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,680
Speaker 8: When he got in, we sat in my study and

886
00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 8: I laid it out for him. I told him exactly

887
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 8: how I felt about the situation.

888
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 3: Told him it was enough.

889
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 8: I showed him some print outs of information I had

890
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 8: on alzheimer units surrounding us, even articles on coping with

891
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 8: having a parent going through this long story short. We

892
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 8: got into an argument. He accused me of being unsupportive,

893
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 8: being selfish, et cetera. I refuse to take it. I

894
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 8: have been the one to stay home and babysit his

895
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:27,680
Speaker 8: increasingly sick mother all day, not him. I told him that,

896
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:30,319
Speaker 8: and that if he was so dedicated to having her

897
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 8: stay in the house, he could be the one to

898
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,480
Speaker 8: take care of her. I was at the absolute.

899
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 6: Limit, completely fair.

900
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, I packed a bag and checked myself into one

901
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 8: of the nicer hotels. I went out and bought some

902
00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:42,400
Speaker 8: bath bombs and wine, and for the first time in

903
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 8: a long time, I just had time for me. I

904
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 8: was able to sit on my laptop and actually get

905
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 8: ahead on my work. He was, of course texting me

906
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:51,000
Speaker 8: and calling, but it was just to continue his trade,

907
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,719
Speaker 8: at which I could happily ignore for the time being.

908
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 8: I knew that he would soon be seeing things in

909
00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:59,280
Speaker 8: a much different light. It seriously took only two days

910
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 8: he begged me to come home. He told me he

911
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 8: was sorry and that he didn't know just how bad

912
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:04,839
Speaker 8: it was. I told him he'd have to do better

913
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,800
Speaker 8: than that, and to actually take her to the doctor's

914
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 8: and get that referral so we could have her moved

915
00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,919
Speaker 8: to a long term care asap, make an appointment at home,

916
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 8: start prepping her for the move. Until then, I wasn't

917
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 8: checking out of my newly found peace and quiet. He

918
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 8: wasn't taking care of you. Didn't understand because he wasn't

919
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 8: taking care of her.

920
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 4: How long have these people been together? I don't know

921
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 4: this just I get it again. I understand her position,

922
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 4: but this all just feels like the most sort of

923
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 4: is it aggressive? No, it's like the most like abrasive

924
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,960
Speaker 4: way of going about this, where you're just like, I'm no,

925
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 4: I'm not coming home. You're not going to see your

926
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,279
Speaker 4: wife until you like figure all this out. And it's

927
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 4: like I get it, I get it that you've been

928
00:39:40,920 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 4: doing this, but it's also a month is not a

929
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 4: long time. Feel like a lot of this just built

930
00:39:45,440 --> 00:39:47,359
Speaker 4: up and bubbled and bubbled and bubbled until it became

931
00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 4: this raging boil inside her, and like dealing with weirdly,

932
00:39:52,200 --> 00:39:52,480
Speaker 4: you know.

933
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:55,240
Speaker 8: Who were very sick, especially with people who have dimension

934
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 8: Alzheimer's is incredibly hard and makes people angry and mad

935
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,320
Speaker 8: and guilty and just. It creates all these feelings, especially

936
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,800
Speaker 8: when it's someone you love. He actually came through her physician,

937
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,239
Speaker 8: a really, really great guy by the way, who also

938
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 8: had a parent go through this. God us fast tracked

939
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 8: for this place. I think that, paired with Mike seeing

940
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,400
Speaker 8: his mom's actions, really helped to open his eyes to

941
00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 8: the reality of the situation. She wasn't just a little off,

942
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 8: she was actually a danger to herself. I also talked

943
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 8: to my husband about getting therapy. I told him it

944
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:25,800
Speaker 8: would be normal to have feelings of guilt or sadness

945
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 8: over this, and that I thought he should take the

946
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 8: time to see someone. I offered to go with him

947
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 8: if he wanted me to be there. He said he

948
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 8: would think about it, and I decided not to push it.

949
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 8: I will take it up with him again though, if

950
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 8: I see he's not doing well because of it. He

951
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,400
Speaker 8: cried a lot the day we had to take her in.

952
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:41,239
Speaker 8: When we got home, we had a long talk about

953
00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:42,920
Speaker 8: how he felt and he told me he was sorry.

954
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,400
Speaker 8: He said I was selfish and uncaring he said, he

955
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,319
Speaker 8: realized how much I must have cared to do that

956
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:48,680
Speaker 8: for him for three months.

957
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,799
Speaker 4: Three months, not one month, not three months, it's been

958
00:40:51,800 --> 00:40:53,840
Speaker 4: three months now. All at my point is it's like

959
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 4: I feel like this all could have been talked about

960
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 4: and discussed earlier.

961
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 3: Get it.

962
00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:58,959
Speaker 4: A lot of this was just op like just needed

963
00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 4: to vent all of these feelings and thoughts out, which

964
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,399
Speaker 4: is fair and yeah, we're all human.

965
00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:06,360
Speaker 9: I feel like Opie wasn't trying to be like I

966
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,879
Speaker 9: hate her, It's just like I hate the situation she needs.

967
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,799
Speaker 9: Say what the one comment she said about like, oh

968
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:14,080
Speaker 9: I wish something bad happens her, I didn't like that

969
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 9: one Opie did say, I feel like the bad guy. Yeah,

970
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,799
Speaker 9: but like I'm at my wits end, and I know

971
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 9: that makes so much sense. And no one's saying that

972
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,719
Speaker 9: you are a bad veritationous.

973
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 3: Care of a person who is that sick.

974
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:26,839
Speaker 8: I told him it doesn't mean someone doesn't care when

975
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 8: they have to just admit they can't handle something. There

976
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 8: are professionals for a reason, We're just not them. So

977
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:33,400
Speaker 8: that's where we're at right now. This week is more

978
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 8: about everything settling down, him getting used to his mom

979
00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 8: being away me getting the house back to normal and

980
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 8: getting back into routine. I've left her belongings in the

981
00:41:41,520 --> 00:41:43,440
Speaker 8: room she was occupying, so we could still have that

982
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,200
Speaker 8: piece of her and we could bring things to where

983
00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,120
Speaker 8: it is necessary. They gave us a list of clothing

984
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,360
Speaker 8: items needed, but it was mostly comfortable housewhere like pj's

985
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 8: and slippers, and since it's not winter yet, nothing bulky

986
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:54,000
Speaker 8: like sweaters or coats.

987
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 3: I had to have the.

988
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 8: Mattress for placed in her room though, because she had

989
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 8: wet the bed often and not said anything. So it

990
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 8: was just I cleaned up our bathroom and just tidy

991
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:03,839
Speaker 8: the room up in general so it was livable again.

992
00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 8: By the way, you can listen to full episodes of

993
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 8: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

994
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:10,359
Speaker 8: or iHeartRadio and search a cookie story time.

995
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to the story.

996
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:16,319
Speaker 8: But like anyone who's experiencing this right now has experienced this,

997
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 8: just know, like we you know, Heart's in the chat

998
00:42:18,560 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 8: for you, Art's.

999
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:20,319
Speaker 3: For me to you.

1000
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:25,640
Speaker 8: Absolutely it's a really, really, really awful Any long term sickness.

1001
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 9: Is just yeah, we're human, we're not superheroes. If that

1002
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 9: was your job, then that's something different, but you actually

1003
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 9: have your own frickin life.

1004
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1005
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 9: And at the end of the day, it's at the

1006
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,120
Speaker 9: point where you know you're not living two jobs. You

1007
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,279
Speaker 9: know in your especially in your household, you want to

1008
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 9: at least have some wine downtime.

1009
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:40,680
Speaker 10: Yeah.

1010
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 8: I want to say thanks to everyone who weighed in

1011
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 8: so much good advice and words I much needed to

1012
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 8: hear in that original threat. And thank you to everyone

1013
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 8: who shared their personal story and gave their suggestions on

1014
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:51,839
Speaker 8: how to help husband cope. Hopefully from here on out

1015
00:42:51,880 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 8: things can be a lot more stable. It's definitely not easy,

1016
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 8: and I wish that in a perfect world none of

1017
00:42:57,600 --> 00:42:59,880
Speaker 8: this would have to be happening. But it already feels

1018
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,879
Speaker 8: so much better this way. And that is the end

1019
00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 8: of the story.

1020
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 3: We took him my husband's three siblings after his parents

1021
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:13,240
Speaker 3: passed away. I'm at my breaking point. Oh, no, breaking point.

1022
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 3: The rugrats out the three new roommates. Way, kay, Edit

1023
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,840
Speaker 3: the thread is supposed to say my husband's parents passed away,

1024
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 3: now we're taking care of his three siblings. I wasn't

1025
00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:27,319
Speaker 3: thinking clearly last night. Please excuse the throwaway. I don't

1026
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:30,359
Speaker 3: know what I'm looking for, but I hope someone can

1027
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,440
Speaker 3: help me before I lose my mind. By the way,

1028
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,399
Speaker 3: this goes from use your name on the art slish

1029
00:43:34,480 --> 00:43:37,279
Speaker 3: Okay story tom Selbred. So, my husband, Josh and I

1030
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,800
Speaker 3: have been married for three years. We met in school

1031
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:43,320
Speaker 3: and dated for three before getting married. Before our relationship

1032
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 3: could get serious, I needed to know if we were

1033
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 3: on the same page about kids, and Josh was adamant

1034
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 3: that he never wanted children. We both really like kids

1035
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 3: and enjoy being around them, but we wanted a live

1036
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 3: that just wasn't suitable for children. Eight months ago, Josh's

1037
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 3: parents assed away in a car accident. Wow. They had

1038
00:44:03,239 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 3: been to a party, his father had way too much

1039
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,279
Speaker 3: to drink, then he ran into a wall. Neither had

1040
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,120
Speaker 3: been wearing their seat belt. His mother passed away instantly,

1041
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 3: while his father passed away two days later in the hospital.

1042
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 3: This was a horrific time for the family, only made

1043
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:20,680
Speaker 3: worse by the fact that his three younger siblings were

1044
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 3: now orphans. Josh had three siblings, Tammy fourteen female, Tommy

1045
00:44:26,800 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 3: ten mal and Timmy seven mil Tommy and Timmy, you'rely

1046
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 3: crap okay. Josh, of course took responsibility for his siblings

1047
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:38,279
Speaker 3: and everyone's lives have turned upside down. I'll try my

1048
00:44:38,320 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 3: best to make a list of everything that's pushing me

1049
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 3: to the breaking point. We lived three hours away from

1050
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 3: Josh's family home. Josh and I live in a big city,

1051
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,919
Speaker 3: while their family home is in a smaller town three

1052
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:51,480
Speaker 3: hours away. Since the accident, Josh has been living in

1053
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 3: the family home full time to take care of the kids.

1054
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 3: Their therapists said it would be best to disturb their

1055
00:44:57,040 --> 00:45:00,200
Speaker 3: lives as little as possible, and we didn't want to

1056
00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:03,400
Speaker 3: take them away from their home, their school, and their friends.

1057
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 3: They can't move into our current home. Josh and I

1058
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 3: have a very nice condo in the city that is

1059
00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 3: only two bedrooms, and there's no way we can have

1060
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 3: kids there comfortably. Our city is nice, but the public

1061
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:17,280
Speaker 3: schools are crap and it would cost us a fortune

1062
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:20,080
Speaker 3: to put them all into private school, which brings me

1063
00:45:20,200 --> 00:45:23,760
Speaker 3: to my next point. I am responsible for paying ninety

1064
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 3: percent of the bills. I have always and will always

1065
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 3: make substantially more than Josh. My field is very specialized,

1066
00:45:32,640 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 3: and while there aren't many jobs, the ones that are

1067
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 3: pay very well. I'm in niche industry. That's what they

1068
00:45:39,200 --> 00:45:41,920
Speaker 3: always say. Josh was more of an artist, so he

1069
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 3: only brought in money when someone commissioned something. I was

1070
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 3: fine paying the majority of the bills because Josh would

1071
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 3: always cook dinner, clean the house, do the grocery, shopping,

1072
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:53,879
Speaker 3: and other chores as his way of chipping in while

1073
00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,920
Speaker 3: I work ruling hours. Okay, seems like they got something

1074
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 3: working out there. Now I find myself paying for two mortgages,

1075
00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:05,520
Speaker 3: and insurance for three extra people, and a whole bunch

1076
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 3: of other expenses which have been eating up my salary.

1077
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 3: I've been working sixty to seventy hours a week for

1078
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,920
Speaker 3: the past four months just to try and keep our

1079
00:46:15,960 --> 00:46:19,720
Speaker 3: head above water. I'm exhausted all the time.

1080
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:23,879
Speaker 10: Wow, sixty to seventy hours a week. Oh my gosh, I.

1081
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 3: Got a lot of thoughts. I think we should get

1082
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:28,359
Speaker 3: through the bullet points before Josh and I never see

1083
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,399
Speaker 3: each other. My field is very specific, and the only

1084
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 3: company that I can work for is in the city.

1085
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:36,000
Speaker 3: It would be impossible for me to commute six hours

1086
00:46:36,040 --> 00:46:38,600
Speaker 3: every day, so during the week I stay in our condo.

1087
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 3: In the past eight months, I count the number of

1088
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,760
Speaker 3: times Josh and I have spoken to each other alone.

1089
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 3: On one hand, I come home every night to an

1090
00:46:46,239 --> 00:46:49,320
Speaker 3: empty condo and microwave some food before collapsing on the couch.

1091
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:52,279
Speaker 3: When I go there on the weekends, all our time

1092
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 3: is taken up by the kids' activities. One needs to

1093
00:46:54,640 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 3: go to dance and now the other one needs to

1094
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,759
Speaker 3: be taken to soccer game. The youngest one has some

1095
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 3: learning disabilities, so we take them to a specialist to

1096
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 3: help him. Josh and I haven't had spicy sleeping close

1097
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 3: to six months, and I honestly can't remember the last

1098
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 3: time we kissed. Wow, that's tough. It's causing a strain

1099
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:16,720
Speaker 3: on their relationship too. Yeah, I mean it's so tough,

1100
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:19,720
Speaker 3: like coming into a relationship. Hey, I don't want kids,

1101
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 3: you don't want kids. I think we're going to live

1102
00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 3: our lives because it seems like their lives cannot handle kids. Yeah.

1103
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,880
Speaker 3: And the fact that Josh has to live three hours

1104
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:30,480
Speaker 3: away right now, Yeah, it seems like this is the

1105
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:32,000
Speaker 3: only family. I was like, why is that aunt not

1106
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:33,920
Speaker 3: taking them in? Or like right, someone else?

1107
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:34,239
Speaker 10: Right?

1108
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:37,440
Speaker 3: This is like their only option pretty much. And I

1109
00:47:37,440 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 3: don't see any life insurance on here, Like the parents

1110
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:43,440
Speaker 3: don't have any life insurance that they left behind or

1111
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,280
Speaker 3: any will they just have a home.

1112
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 10: I guess, I mean, there might be something, but if

1113
00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 10: it's not coming up in the story, then they might

1114
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:52,759
Speaker 10: not be like significant enough to do anything to help out.

1115
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:53,040
Speaker 3: You know.

1116
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:56,799
Speaker 11: I feel stuck just reading that because it's like, I mean,

1117
00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 11: you know, what you would think of as solutions is

1118
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 11: like I don't know, diackcare systems or like hiring a

1119
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:03,520
Speaker 11: nanny or something like that, but that all costs so

1120
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 11: much money.

1121
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:07,520
Speaker 3: We have been planning on moving to Australia. My company

1122
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 3: offered me a chance to transfer to one of their

1123
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:13,400
Speaker 3: branches in Sydney, and before the accident, Josh and I

1124
00:48:13,440 --> 00:48:15,759
Speaker 3: had one hundred percent agreed to go. It was going

1125
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:18,719
Speaker 3: to be such an amazing adventure and a wonderful opportunity

1126
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:21,040
Speaker 3: for me to advance in my field. They want an

1127
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,640
Speaker 3: answer by August, and I don't know what to do.

1128
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:28,000
Speaker 3: I'm breaking. Last night I came home after working twelve hours.

1129
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 3: I actually found myself looking for divorce lawyers in the area.

1130
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 3: Oh wow. I broke down, sobbing and curled up in

1131
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 3: bed and just kept crying for hours and hours. I

1132
00:48:36,760 --> 00:48:39,719
Speaker 3: feel like I'm losing every bit of my sanity read it.

1133
00:48:39,960 --> 00:48:42,600
Speaker 3: I don't sleep. I barely eat, I have dark circles

1134
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 3: under my eyes, and even my bosses have said I

1135
00:48:45,239 --> 00:48:49,319
Speaker 3: look gaunt. Oh my gosh. And you know what the

1136
00:48:49,520 --> 00:48:52,560
Speaker 3: most fed up part is, I find myself being resentful

1137
00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:55,600
Speaker 3: of his siblings. How sick is that I'm resenting of

1138
00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,319
Speaker 3: the orphans that lost their parents. I don't know what

1139
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 3: to do, but I can't keep going my much longer.

1140
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:02,920
Speaker 3: I curl up in my bed all alone. I feel

1141
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:05,720
Speaker 3: like I'm being crushed by the way of everything that's happened.

1142
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:08,120
Speaker 3: When I took my vows, I promised I should would

1143
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 3: stay with my husband in sickness and in health, but

1144
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:13,600
Speaker 3: I didn't think it extended to his family. I've always

1145
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 3: known what kind of life I wanted to lead, and

1146
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,360
Speaker 3: I did everything I could to achieve it. I studied,

1147
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 3: I volunteered, I worked my butt off to do everything

1148
00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:23,399
Speaker 3: I could do to have a good life. But now

1149
00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,800
Speaker 3: it's all falling apart around me. I told Josh I

1150
00:49:25,840 --> 00:49:28,080
Speaker 3: couldn't come this weekend because I had too much work

1151
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 3: to do, but really it was because I was afraid

1152
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,200
Speaker 3: I would snap. What should I do? We got an updates.

1153
00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:35,000
Speaker 3: I don't even know what to do.

1154
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:38,480
Speaker 11: I'm suddenly feeling very underqualified to be sitting in this chair.

1155
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:42,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, what's gonna have to happen is the

1156
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:45,479
Speaker 3: kids are gonna have to move somewhere, Like, okay, one,

1157
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:49,480
Speaker 3: if Josh is responsible for these kids, they're gonna have

1158
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 3: to move to the city. And I know, like it's

1159
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 3: not like the best situation, but that's gonna happen. And

1160
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 3: then this situation. Yeah, and I know he's on an artist,

1161
00:49:58,640 --> 00:49:59,840
Speaker 3: but he's probably gonna have to pick up on a

1162
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 3: job and start helping out with the siblings. Oh yeah, yeah,

1163
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 3: And it's gonna be tough for Josh and they need

1164
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:08,319
Speaker 3: to figure this out and with the kids. Dude, this

1165
00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:09,560
Speaker 3: is a tough one.

1166
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:12,000
Speaker 10: It's really tough, I know. And maybe like they do

1167
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,080
Speaker 10: need some time apart, like maybe she doesn't need to

1168
00:50:14,080 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 10: go to Australia and get that job because she'll be

1169
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,120
Speaker 10: making more money, right yeah, And I mean maybe they

1170
00:50:19,160 --> 00:50:21,480
Speaker 10: can figure out some sort of way. We're like, you know, Gosh, I.

1171
00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:23,480
Speaker 3: Don't know how that would be though, Like my bad

1172
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,800
Speaker 3: solution would be this, I might could come from to

1173
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 3: the company be like, yo, this is a tragedy that

1174
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,879
Speaker 3: has happened recently. Yeah, is there. Any way you guys

1175
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:34,239
Speaker 3: could like help me out or I can do extra work,

1176
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 3: extra work because I and I don't I mean, I

1177
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:38,719
Speaker 3: don't know how important you are to this company, but

1178
00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 3: they gave you an opportunity in Australia. We got an update. Okay,

1179
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:46,720
Speaker 3: find out. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update.

1180
00:50:46,880 --> 00:50:48,959
Speaker 3: Things have been very hectic in my life these past

1181
00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:50,879
Speaker 3: two weeks, but I'm just trying to find the time

1182
00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:52,840
Speaker 3: to sit down and write what happened. I know a

1183
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,080
Speaker 3: lot of people have been curious, and I'd like to

1184
00:50:55,080 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 3: thank everyone for their advice and words, both good and bad.

1185
00:50:58,880 --> 00:51:02,240
Speaker 3: Things have been pushed through an overdrive since I first posted.

1186
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,920
Speaker 3: I knew I had to have a real conversation with

1187
00:51:05,040 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 3: Josh that had been putting off for months, so I

1188
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,720
Speaker 3: called him and told him we need to talk. Let's

1189
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 3: just say it didn't get off to a good foot

1190
00:51:12,520 --> 00:51:16,000
Speaker 3: since phone conversation with something like this, Hey, can you

1191
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:17,919
Speaker 3: get the kid's babysitter and drive up here.

1192
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 12: We really need to talk and it's pretty important now.

1193
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,759
Speaker 3: Tommy and has talked soccer practice this afternoon and the

1194
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 3: coach wants all of us to be there. Baby, can

1195
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:27,799
Speaker 3: you please find them a babysitter.

1196
00:51:27,920 --> 00:51:30,040
Speaker 12: It's really important that we talk right now.

1197
00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:32,600
Speaker 3: But Tommy really wants to be there. Can't wait. I'm

1198
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:34,840
Speaker 3: looking at divorce lawyers.

1199
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:37,240
Speaker 12: Why don't you go ahead and tell me if you think.

1200
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 3: That can wait? That was enough to get him moving,

1201
00:51:39,680 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 3: but I was pretty ticked off that I had to

1202
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,840
Speaker 3: plead and threaten him just to have a single conversation

1203
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 3: with him. So Josh drove up to our home, looking

1204
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 3: pretty stricken when he walked in, and we sat and

1205
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:53,239
Speaker 3: talked for hours about everything. I laid everything out that

1206
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:55,759
Speaker 3: I've been feeling, and even showed him a print out

1207
00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:57,440
Speaker 3: of the post that I had made. He was very

1208
00:51:57,440 --> 00:51:59,839
Speaker 3: defensive at first, asking me if I was really going

1209
00:51:59,880 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 3: to to be so selfish as to leave him at

1210
00:52:02,320 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 3: a time like this, and that only angered me, and

1211
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,919
Speaker 3: I shot back and asked him when he was going

1212
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:10,120
Speaker 3: to step up and be a man and provide for

1213
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:15,240
Speaker 3: his own family. Whoa bringing out the big guns over here.

1214
00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 9: That's crazy when your partner just I don't know, lost

1215
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 9: his parents, had to take care of his siblings.

1216
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, she hasn't been laid in six months.

1217
00:52:24,760 --> 00:52:27,080
Speaker 9: Through the six months, Okay, she's.

1218
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 3: Got a lot of frustration. Bro, I'm not I guess dude. Ugh, sup,

1219
00:52:32,800 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 3: poor girl. First hour of our talk was pretty spent

1220
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:39,160
Speaker 3: yelling at each other to our throats were raw. It

1221
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:41,640
Speaker 3: might not have been the most healthy, but it helped

1222
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:43,880
Speaker 3: us get out of the anger and frustration we have

1223
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,440
Speaker 3: been feeling over the entire situation. The next six hours,

1224
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 3: after we'd calmed down, we finally just talked. It's been

1225
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,399
Speaker 3: so long since we'd actually had a conversation about us.

1226
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:56,640
Speaker 3: It felt awkward at first, but then we fell into

1227
00:52:56,680 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 3: our familiar rhythms. I'll spare you guys to detail, but

1228
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:01,919
Speaker 3: there were There was a lot of crying, a lot

1229
00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:05,360
Speaker 3: of tissues being used, and even a few laughs. After everything,

1230
00:53:05,719 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 3: we decided it would be best for let's see, oh

1231
00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:16,399
Speaker 3: drum roll us to move to Sydney for the year.

1232
00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 8: Wow.

1233
00:53:18,080 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 3: The kids needed a new star, and so did we.

1234
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:25,120
Speaker 3: There were too many ghosts and bad feelings lurking around

1235
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 3: and we just needed a clean break from it all.

1236
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:30,720
Speaker 3: I cannot stress how amazing my job has been regarding

1237
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 3: everything that has happened. I broke down in front of

1238
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:35,600
Speaker 3: my VP and told her everything, and she's been so

1239
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:38,319
Speaker 3: kind and helpful. Wow. She was the one that recommended

1240
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,040
Speaker 3: me for the Sydney office, and she's gone above and

1241
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 3: beyond helping us get everything we needed.

1242
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 12: Oh my gosh, oh amazing.

1243
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,600
Speaker 3: Her brother in law actually owns a bar in the

1244
00:53:48,640 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 3: area and they need a new bartender.

1245
00:53:50,680 --> 00:53:52,360
Speaker 5: Probably got a two for two right.

1246
00:53:52,239 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 3: Here, all round right jump for him too, what the

1247
00:53:55,640 --> 00:53:59,600
Speaker 3: hell freaking goal. She spoke to him and he offered

1248
00:53:59,600 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 3: my husband in the job, and they'll be helping with

1249
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:04,080
Speaker 3: him with all the paperwork. Josh and I also had

1250
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:07,400
Speaker 3: a long conversation about me not being the sole provider

1251
00:54:07,480 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 3: for the family. He's always been very picky about what

1252
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 3: commissions he takes, and he only used to do the

1253
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 3: pieces that spoke to him. But that ends here.

1254
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 10: Yeah, I'm really surprised that that didn't happen way earlier. Really, listen,

1255
00:54:21,719 --> 00:54:23,920
Speaker 10: I'm taking commissions right now. If I was in the

1256
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:24,879
Speaker 10: situation like.

1257
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:26,160
Speaker 3: Everything's we'll be speaking to you.

1258
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:30,440
Speaker 10: Yeah, I'm here, I'm here and everything, or I'm you know,

1259
00:54:30,680 --> 00:54:32,959
Speaker 10: doing those commissions, I'm doing this other job.

1260
00:54:33,040 --> 00:54:34,480
Speaker 3: Like you know what I mean, Like you gotta, you

1261
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 3: gotta as a creative, it's hard to like, you know,

1262
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 3: be creative about something. And then also like putting food

1263
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,800
Speaker 3: on the table exactly exactly.

1264
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:43,839
Speaker 10: But when the priority is putting food on the table

1265
00:54:43,960 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 10: with all of these people, yes, you're gonna have to

1266
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 10: do that.

1267
00:54:46,719 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 3: Any job anyone is willing to pay for it, he

1268
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:51,040
Speaker 3: is going to have to do. I don't care if

1269
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 3: someone wants a mural of Godzilla dancing ballots, he has

1270
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:58,080
Speaker 3: to take it. This isn't time for the artsy integrity.

1271
00:54:58,200 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 3: My company has been great and they helped us find

1272
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,760
Speaker 3: a place about an hour's commute from the new office

1273
00:55:03,800 --> 00:55:07,960
Speaker 3: that can be our new home. Wow, oh my goodness.

1274
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 3: It's three bedrooms, so the boys will have to share,

1275
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:12,680
Speaker 3: but at least we'll all be in the same place.

1276
00:55:12,920 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 3: The school systems are really good, though the rent almost

1277
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,520
Speaker 3: gave me a heart attack. It's crazy that people in

1278
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:22,640
Speaker 3: Australia pay per week what I pay per month for rent.

1279
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,520
Speaker 12: Oh wow, so we were wrong about the prices in Australia.

1280
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:29,799
Speaker 3: We'll be renting out both the family home and the

1281
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:32,600
Speaker 3: apartment to help cover our expenses. We told the kids,

1282
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,720
Speaker 3: and that went okay. The boys were actually really excited

1283
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 3: about the idea of moving to Sydney and they started

1284
00:55:38,480 --> 00:55:42,120
Speaker 3: practicing their Australian accents. There you go. Well, Sammy was

1285
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:44,839
Speaker 3: a whole other matter integrity.

1286
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 13: She called me a selfish see you next Tuesday for

1287
00:55:49,160 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 13: trying to move her away from her friends and school.

1288
00:55:52,239 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 3: I have never wanted to slap a kid so much

1289
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 3: in my life. For a second, I regret it, not

1290
00:55:56,880 --> 00:56:00,799
Speaker 3: just leaving everything and moving myself. Luckily, Josh stepped in

1291
00:56:00,880 --> 00:56:03,319
Speaker 3: and told her if she was ever going to speak

1292
00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 3: to me like that again, that if it wasn't for me,

1293
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:08,400
Speaker 3: they would have been living out of a car months

1294
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:11,800
Speaker 3: ago and she could stop acting like an ungrateful brat.

1295
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:14,400
Speaker 3: Coming back from a stress day at work and having

1296
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:16,920
Speaker 3: to do it with a surly mouthy teenager is my

1297
00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:21,840
Speaker 3: own personal version of AG double hockey sticks. Man, I

1298
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:25,160
Speaker 3: mean they didn't want kids, and guys, your version of

1299
00:56:25,320 --> 00:56:27,400
Speaker 3: HG double hockey sticks is if you don't go your

1300
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,320
Speaker 3: favorite podcast platform right now and search up what Angel

1301
00:56:30,840 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 3: Okay story time, and right there there will be a

1302
00:56:33,600 --> 00:56:37,920
Speaker 3: plethora of heavenly stories that we save yourselves.

1303
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:40,360
Speaker 12: Have you been saved yet? That's the question.

1304
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:43,120
Speaker 13: But dude, dude, I feel like you know, you know

1305
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,680
Speaker 13: how like those those houses that are like and this

1306
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:47,040
Speaker 13: is your new house after.

1307
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 3: Being audible bus. Yeah. Yeah, like we got that bus moved.

1308
00:56:52,800 --> 00:56:55,200
Speaker 9: It was Australia and then and then all of a sudden,

1309
00:56:55,840 --> 00:56:56,960
Speaker 9: we moved the buses Australia.

1310
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:57,439
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

1311
00:56:57,640 --> 00:57:01,440
Speaker 9: Yeah, this is now your our country slash continent.

1312
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:05,560
Speaker 3: Yeah wow, be officials last a little bit up. Josh

1313
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:08,400
Speaker 3: and I have plenty of tough conversations that have and

1314
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:11,279
Speaker 3: we'll have to see how everything turns out. I'm still

1315
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 3: very scared of looking back ten years from now and

1316
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:15,799
Speaker 3: thinking that I wasted so many years of my life

1317
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 3: doing something I hated. This year in Sydney is going

1318
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,240
Speaker 3: to be a test for all of us to see

1319
00:57:21,480 --> 00:57:23,800
Speaker 3: if we can actually make it work or if we

1320
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,520
Speaker 3: should go our separate ways. It's going to be very

1321
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 3: tough journey, and if anything big happens, I'll update you guys.

1322
00:57:30,080 --> 00:57:32,960
Speaker 3: But for now, wasistless luck. I have a feeling we're

1323
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 3: going to need.

1324
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 5: A lot of it.

1325
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 3: Wow what cow dude?

1326
00:57:39,200 --> 00:57:41,640
Speaker 10: Yeah, definitely is still going to be a challenge, but

1327
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 10: man oh man.

1328
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 1: Dang, hey, it's Sam. We're go get back to the stories.

1329
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,320
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1330
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 8: I found my husband's ex wife in our home wearing.

1331
00:57:53,880 --> 00:57:58,320
Speaker 3: Only a towel. The scandal that's the plot of Enchanted.

1332
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:01,640
Speaker 8: A couple of days ago, I came home from a

1333
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 8: work meeting and was unpleasantly surprised to find my husband's

1334
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 8: ex wife wandering around the house fresh out of the shower,

1335
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 8: with only a towel wrapped around her body. Where was

1336
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:15,520
Speaker 8: she wandering to your husband's bed? I felt absolutely hysterical,

1337
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,560
Speaker 8: though I didn't show it. She had the keys because

1338
00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:20,600
Speaker 8: her daughter, who was also my husband's daughter, spends more

1339
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 8: time at our house than at hers, so she occasionally

1340
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 8: comes to visit her. By the way, this comes from

1341
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:27,920
Speaker 8: ethereal wife and if you want to sumit your own stories,

1342
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:30,480
Speaker 8: go to our slash okay storytemes separate it. So this

1343
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:33,480
Speaker 8: time I didn't hold back. I demanded that she give

1344
00:58:33,520 --> 00:58:35,400
Speaker 8: me the keys and told her she wasn't allowed to

1345
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 8: come over while I was not home. My husband was

1346
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 8: asleep in the bedroom and had no idea that his

1347
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 8: ex wife was even in the house.

1348
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:45,160
Speaker 12: Interesting applies changing up.

1349
00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:46,800
Speaker 8: Yeah, I thought it was. The husband was like, hey,

1350
00:58:46,840 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 8: come over, you got out a working shower right. When

1351
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:53,000
Speaker 8: I asked my stepdaughter why her mother had stayed, she

1352
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:55,160
Speaker 8: simply said that she wasn't planning to leave until her

1353
00:58:55,240 --> 00:58:58,720
Speaker 8: dad woke up. My mind immediately interpreted that as an

1354
00:58:58,760 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 8: attempt at seduction.

1355
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 3: It was short.

1356
00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:02,360
Speaker 8: I took away the house keys and told her that

1357
00:59:02,400 --> 00:59:04,560
Speaker 8: it wasn't necessary for her to come see your daughter

1358
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,400
Speaker 8: on weekdays, when my stepdaughter went to her house already

1359
00:59:07,440 --> 00:59:10,360
Speaker 8: on weekends. If she needed to come over for something important,

1360
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 8: she had to ask for permission. You called me crazy,

1361
00:59:13,160 --> 00:59:15,320
Speaker 8: but my husband backed me up, which was the only

1362
00:59:15,360 --> 00:59:18,040
Speaker 8: reason she eventually left without making a scene. Today, I

1363
00:59:18,040 --> 00:59:21,440
Speaker 8: started wondering if maybe I overreacted and handled things immaturely.

1364
00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 8: But at the same time, I don't want her around

1365
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,960
Speaker 8: my four month old baby when I'm not home, and

1366
00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 8: there is an edit to avoid more accusations. I checked

1367
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:31,280
Speaker 8: the entire chronology of the cameras at home, and my

1368
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 8: husband was sleeping with her baby all morning. He didn't

1369
00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 8: even know she was home, but he was angrier than

1370
00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:37,800
Speaker 8: me when he saw her and even insisted that we

1371
00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:40,640
Speaker 8: report her. Wow, and there are some relevant comments and

1372
00:59:40,640 --> 00:59:42,760
Speaker 8: I believe an update. Oh my goodness, But do you

1373
00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 8: have any thoughts?

1374
00:59:43,760 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 3: Yeah? That's crazy. Yeah again.

1375
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 10: At first, my mind was going to, uh, oh, what

1376
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:52,000
Speaker 10: do they both shed? Yeah, exactly. But now I'm like, uh, oh,

1377
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:55,000
Speaker 10: she broke into your house. Yeah, and it's like if

1378
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:57,000
Speaker 10: they have a custody split where it's like she gets

1379
00:59:57,200 --> 01:00:00,240
Speaker 10: them on the weekends, then why Yeah, then why she

1380
01:00:00,280 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 10: there to like visit.

1381
01:00:01,080 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 3: I've never heard of that being a thing ever.

1382
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 12: Oh yeah, that's pretty pretty suspicious, weird, I.

1383
01:00:06,040 --> 01:00:08,760
Speaker 8: Think, Yeah, I think you are absolutely not the able

1384
01:00:08,840 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 8: for setting those boundaries, because yeah, this realm and comments.

1385
01:00:12,240 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 8: Does the ex wife come by the house that often

1386
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:15,960
Speaker 8: for a shower or something else?

1387
01:00:16,720 --> 01:00:16,840
Speaker 3: Oh?

1388
01:00:16,920 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 8: Pi says she didn't usually come to the house much before,

1389
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 8: but lately she seems very concerned about being present in

1390
01:00:22,240 --> 01:00:25,280
Speaker 8: her daughter's life, and my stepdaughter wasn't that calm. In fact,

1391
01:00:25,360 --> 01:00:27,000
Speaker 8: she was the one who sent me a message saying

1392
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 8: that her mother was in the home, although I never

1393
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 8: thought I would find her in a towel. According to

1394
01:00:31,560 --> 01:00:33,760
Speaker 8: my stepdaughter, she had come home from work to check

1395
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:35,680
Speaker 8: on her and told her she was going to take

1396
01:00:35,680 --> 01:00:38,720
Speaker 8: a shower without any other explanation. I checked some cameras,

1397
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 8: and my husband had been taken care of and sleeping

1398
01:00:40,800 --> 01:00:43,240
Speaker 8: with our baby all morning. He didn't even notice she

1399
01:00:43,320 --> 01:00:45,439
Speaker 8: was home. Common or two, Why did she have keys

1400
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:47,240
Speaker 8: in the first place, and how old is the daughter?

1401
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:50,000
Speaker 8: And we also we already know that because sometimes I

1402
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,280
Speaker 8: think she has to take care of your daughter to

1403
01:00:51,320 --> 01:00:51,800
Speaker 8: pick them up.

1404
01:00:51,880 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1405
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:53,840
Speaker 8: Ope, she always had the keys in case of an

1406
01:00:53,880 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 8: emergency while we're traveling. My stepdaughter is seventeen years old.

1407
01:00:57,440 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 8: And the last thing, my husband had spent the night

1408
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 8: awake at work, so he slept all day. Although I

1409
01:01:01,520 --> 01:01:04,120
Speaker 8: also thought like you at first, I immediately checked the

1410
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,120
Speaker 8: cameras I have in some areas of the house to

1411
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:09,280
Speaker 8: monitor my baby, including the bedrooms common to three not

1412
01:01:09,400 --> 01:01:12,040
Speaker 8: the ale. You didn't overact, but I would be suspicious

1413
01:01:12,080 --> 01:01:14,480
Speaker 8: of your husband might want to keep an eye on him.

1414
01:01:14,640 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 3: I mean, it seems like the husband's fine.

1415
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:20,120
Speaker 12: Yeah, the husband was a little mad, so I think

1416
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:21,000
Speaker 12: the husband's chill.

1417
01:01:21,240 --> 01:01:21,479
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1418
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,080
Speaker 8: Was the house the husband and exus at some point?

1419
01:01:24,240 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 8: Opie says, yes, the house belonged to both of them

1420
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:29,640
Speaker 8: before they divorced, although legally had always belonged only to

1421
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:32,160
Speaker 8: my husband, but she lived with him, and Opie clarifies

1422
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:34,480
Speaker 8: the details on how she met her husband. Was it

1423
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 8: during the time when her husband was married the ex

1424
01:01:36,760 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 8: Opie says, oh, I met him when they had been

1425
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:43,720
Speaker 8: divorced for about eleven years, but she did live there

1426
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:48,280
Speaker 8: during their marriage. That's so weird that after eleven years

1427
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:50,120
Speaker 8: she's coming back into the life and being like, I'm

1428
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:51,200
Speaker 8: gonna shower at your house.

1429
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:55,480
Speaker 3: Maybe it's like old habits kicking in. Yeah, hurry, I

1430
01:01:55,600 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 3: just forgot. Oh He's like, you haven't been here for

1431
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 3: eleven seven years. I think that a decade.

1432
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 8: It's just I.

1433
01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:09,200
Speaker 3: Oh, no, no.

1434
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,800
Speaker 8: OPI on her husband's custody battle with his ex over

1435
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 8: their daughter and if the ex is dangerous to the daughter,

1436
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:19,439
Speaker 8: Opie says, before you judge, calmly ask yourself for explanations.

1437
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:21,880
Speaker 8: She and my husband had a legal battle for custody

1438
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:24,320
Speaker 8: because she wanted to move to another state and wanted

1439
01:02:24,360 --> 01:02:27,200
Speaker 8: to take my stepdaughter without my husband's consent. It had

1440
01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:30,600
Speaker 8: been a long conflict because she literally almost kidnapped their daughter.

1441
01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 3: Ohoy.

1442
01:02:31,400 --> 01:02:33,280
Speaker 8: And if it weren't for me acting as a mediator

1443
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:34,400
Speaker 8: on occasions, he would have.

1444
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:36,440
Speaker 3: Already suit her on it. Wow, she is not.

1445
01:02:37,000 --> 01:02:39,160
Speaker 8: She wouldn't even try to be because my stepdaughter lives

1446
01:02:39,160 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 8: with us most of the time and we would notice

1447
01:02:41,080 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 8: immediately if something happened with her. Now she has no

1448
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:46,200
Speaker 8: intentions of taking her anywhere, of course. But that's why

1449
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:47,920
Speaker 8: I spoke in the past tense all the time. And

1450
01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:52,120
Speaker 8: there is an update. Whoa before we jump into that update.

1451
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 10: Yeah, I'm just like, I wonder what she would do, Like,

1452
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 10: I just don't understand.

1453
01:02:58,560 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 3: I just not get it.

1454
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:02,040
Speaker 8: What was her place there? Yeah, go on, clearly was

1455
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:04,120
Speaker 8: not well thought out. It seems like she got to

1456
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:04,800
Speaker 8: the house was like.

1457
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:08,760
Speaker 3: Do I do a shower? Yeah? But there is an

1458
01:03:08,840 --> 01:03:10,120
Speaker 3: update two weeks later.

1459
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 8: Hello, it's me, the woman who found her husban's ex

1460
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:13,840
Speaker 8: wife and her house wearing a towel.

1461
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:14,720
Speaker 3: We remember.

1462
01:03:15,000 --> 01:03:17,920
Speaker 8: Yes, I've seen that things have gotten pretty out of control,

1463
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:19,920
Speaker 8: to the point where it's spread all over the internet,

1464
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:23,080
Speaker 8: and now it's here. So I'm here to clear that

1465
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:25,760
Speaker 8: something's up and give some updates. First of all, we've

1466
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:28,400
Speaker 8: changed all the locks, and although my stepdaughter has her

1467
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:31,120
Speaker 8: own key, she's not going to risk losing her father's trust.

1468
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 8: After the serious talk they had, I mean seems like

1469
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:35,880
Speaker 8: she was kind of shocked that her mom was there.

1470
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:37,280
Speaker 3: I mean she texted O pee Yeah.

1471
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:37,560
Speaker 10: Yeah.

1472
01:03:37,800 --> 01:03:40,320
Speaker 8: I feel like she's done nothing wrong in this, y Cinara.

1473
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:43,000
Speaker 8: After my husband started the process for a restraining order.

1474
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:45,680
Speaker 8: His ex wife's sister reached out to us. She told

1475
01:03:45,760 --> 01:03:48,360
Speaker 8: us that the ex wife was feeling empty and threatened

1476
01:03:48,360 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 8: because of me. I've been living with my husband in

1477
01:03:50,320 --> 01:03:52,800
Speaker 8: this house for three years and she has never done

1478
01:03:52,840 --> 01:03:55,840
Speaker 8: anything like this before, so it seemed extremely strange to

1479
01:03:55,880 --> 01:03:57,880
Speaker 8: me that she would pull this kind of stunt right

1480
01:03:57,920 --> 01:04:00,320
Speaker 8: after I gave birth to my son. Anyway, Hey, my

1481
01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 8: husband's ex sister in law assured us that she was

1482
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:05,960
Speaker 8: going to receive psychological treatment and that we could move

1483
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:08,480
Speaker 8: forward with the restraining order. She just asked us to

1484
01:04:08,600 --> 01:04:10,880
Speaker 8: understand that the ex wife seemed to be falling into

1485
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:14,120
Speaker 8: some kind of depression that was preventing her from thinking clearly.

1486
01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:14,920
Speaker 5: Wow.

1487
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:18,120
Speaker 8: Interesting, Well, I mean, yeah, that is pretty irrational action

1488
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 8: to take to go into your ex's house to a

1489
01:04:21,480 --> 01:04:23,960
Speaker 8: shower and then wear a towel around the house. As

1490
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:25,800
Speaker 8: for why I feel so bad and why I haven't

1491
01:04:25,800 --> 01:04:29,720
Speaker 8: reacted more aggressively, I have an explanation. Since giving birth

1492
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:32,240
Speaker 8: a few months ago, I felt slow, dumb, a bit

1493
01:04:32,320 --> 01:04:35,720
Speaker 8: confused about everything. I've never had serious troubles defending myself

1494
01:04:35,720 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 8: in English before, but now I do, and my emotions

1495
01:04:38,200 --> 01:04:40,520
Speaker 8: are all over the place. Leaving me feel distressed in

1496
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:43,120
Speaker 8: any dramatic situation. To wrap things up, I'd like to

1497
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:46,440
Speaker 8: clarify a few points. No, my husband has not cheated

1498
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:48,040
Speaker 8: on me with the woman he's been having issues with

1499
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:50,520
Speaker 8: for eleven years. I checked the security cameras and he

1500
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:52,960
Speaker 8: was asleep next to our child during the hour his

1501
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:56,160
Speaker 8: wife was showering downstairs. That bathroom is pretty far from

1502
01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:59,320
Speaker 8: the bedroom. My stepdaughter was barely involved in her mother's plan.

1503
01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 8: In fact, she he was the one who alerted me

1504
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:02,880
Speaker 8: that her mom was in the house and that she

1505
01:05:02,960 --> 01:05:05,240
Speaker 8: had no idea why. Normally her mom would let her

1506
01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:08,160
Speaker 8: know before visiting, and only if my husband wasn't home. Yes,

1507
01:05:08,240 --> 01:05:10,200
Speaker 8: that woman only did it to get under my skin

1508
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:13,920
Speaker 8: and make herself feel better. Spoiler, she won't be coming

1509
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:17,080
Speaker 8: near my family again. But you know where you guys

1510
01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:23,520
Speaker 8: can come. Come and listen to all episodes of stories

1511
01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:26,440
Speaker 8: just like this. Just got a Spotify, Apple podcast or

1512
01:05:26,440 --> 01:05:29,040
Speaker 8: iHeart Radio and such a BOOKUS story Time.

1513
01:05:29,120 --> 01:05:30,959
Speaker 3: But there's a little bit left to the story. Any

1514
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:34,040
Speaker 3: final thoughts. Yeah, I think it's just an interesting situation.

1515
01:05:34,200 --> 01:05:35,160
Speaker 12: She definitely needs help.

1516
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:37,240
Speaker 3: I'm glad she's getting it. She's getting the house so

1517
01:05:37,400 --> 01:05:38,960
Speaker 3: she's got a you know, support system.

1518
01:05:39,040 --> 01:05:41,240
Speaker 12: Yeah, and I'm kind of glad that the daughter is

1519
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:42,000
Speaker 12: old enough.

1520
01:05:42,320 --> 01:05:45,680
Speaker 10: Yeah, like know what's going on, absolutely like mature enough

1521
01:05:45,680 --> 01:05:49,600
Speaker 10: about the situation to communicate with both sides well enough.

1522
01:05:49,680 --> 01:05:51,160
Speaker 3: You know, it's probably still hard on her.

1523
01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 12: I'm sure she's only seventeen, but yeah, she's not like eleven.

1524
01:05:54,560 --> 01:05:57,080
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's not like her mom could be taking her

1525
01:05:57,120 --> 01:05:59,880
Speaker 8: on her weekends and being like your father's terrible.

1526
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:02,880
Speaker 12: Yeah, and she's just like what, like she couldn't actually

1527
01:06:02,960 --> 01:06:03,600
Speaker 12: know what's going on.

1528
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,040
Speaker 8: But there is a little bit left to this story.

1529
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:09,080
Speaker 8: Do it in any case, Thank you for the support

1530
01:06:09,160 --> 01:06:11,080
Speaker 8: and all the advice. I'm glad to know that there

1531
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:13,600
Speaker 8: are still understanding people who have stood by me in

1532
01:06:13,640 --> 01:06:16,640
Speaker 8: a moment where my emotions faltered and made me doubt myself.

1533
01:06:16,720 --> 01:06:19,439
Speaker 8: Top comments common one says, My guess is the birth

1534
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:21,840
Speaker 8: of your son pushed her over. Until that point, she

1535
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 8: thought she had the upper hand because she and your

1536
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:27,280
Speaker 8: husband had the bond of share child. Yeah, in her mind,

1537
01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:30,240
Speaker 8: she was still the primary relationship and you were temporary.

1538
01:06:30,400 --> 01:06:33,520
Speaker 8: Now you have the ring and a child, and that blew.

1539
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:36,800
Speaker 3: Up her fantasy. Dang man ha a great comment go.

1540
01:06:36,720 --> 01:06:38,800
Speaker 8: Forward with the restraining order. Her mental health is on

1541
01:06:38,920 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 8: her to manage, and she has her own relatives to

1542
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,560
Speaker 8: support her through that. Comitar two, not the ale. That

1543
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:46,760
Speaker 8: is absolutely a violation of privacy and scary. She's being

1544
01:06:46,760 --> 01:06:48,640
Speaker 8: a complete creep and needs to be put in her

1545
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 8: place aka out of the picture.

1546
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:53,960
Speaker 3: Omitara. Three. I remember this post. Glad you changed the locks.

1547
01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:56,120
Speaker 8: Although it's sad that the acts is having a mental

1548
01:06:56,120 --> 01:06:58,520
Speaker 8: health struggle, you are not obligated to deal with her

1549
01:06:58,560 --> 01:07:01,280
Speaker 8: issues and need to fall through on the restraining order

1550
01:07:01,320 --> 01:07:04,800
Speaker 8: to avoid any potential harm to your family and new baby. Remember,

1551
01:07:04,880 --> 01:07:07,600
Speaker 8: this woman may not be thinking clearly, so again, not

1552
01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:10,920
Speaker 8: worth the risk, and that is the end of that story.

1553
01:07:11,080 --> 01:07:11,680
Speaker 7: Wow.

1554
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:13,720
Speaker 8: Yeah, it seems like you guys gotta figure it out.

1555
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 8: It seems like she had like a kind of breakdown. Yeah,

1556
01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:17,280
Speaker 8: and I mean scary.

1557
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:22,760
Speaker 10: It doesn't seem like this woman has been mentally okay.

1558
01:07:22,280 --> 01:07:23,200
Speaker 3: For quite a while.

1559
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:25,560
Speaker 8: No, it seems like she's been dealing with a lot

1560
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:26,600
Speaker 8: for eleven years.

1561
01:07:26,680 --> 01:07:27,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, eleven years.

1562
01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:30,480
Speaker 11: Because like if she's feeling threat now after her ex

1563
01:07:30,560 --> 01:07:34,680
Speaker 11: husband got full on married again, like like I don't know,

1564
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:37,560
Speaker 11: I feel like it's like thinking about that person as

1565
01:07:37,560 --> 01:07:39,800
Speaker 11: a threat is kind of crazy because it's like, well, yes,

1566
01:07:40,480 --> 01:07:42,720
Speaker 11: I am his new wife, you know what I mean.

1567
01:07:42,880 --> 01:07:44,760
Speaker 12: And then yeah, just with it being like more real

1568
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:45,960
Speaker 12: for her now that they have a.

1569
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:50,360
Speaker 10: Kid together, yeah's like yeah, but so yeah, they figured

1570
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:50,680
Speaker 10: it out.

1571
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:53,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, she's getting out that she needs and they're gonna

1572
01:07:53,720 --> 01:07:56,120
Speaker 8: have the rest of their life to.

1573
01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:58,800
Speaker 3: Hang out with their baby and their seventeen year old daughter.

1574
01:07:58,880 --> 01:07:59,840
Speaker 3: There you go.

1575
01:07:59,600 --> 01:07:59,640
Speaker 9: The