Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazers Here, Nicky, Hello here, I am welcome.
Speaker 1: It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast. We're back in St. Louis, Missouri. Well,
Speaker 1: Noah is in Arizona, but Andrew and I are back
Speaker 1: in the Loo. No one really calls it that, do
Speaker 1: they know? Um, Nelly did? I'm from the Loop and
Speaker 1: I'm proud that the first time you ever heard it?
Speaker 1: I think so. Yeah, I think Kirkwood High School. No, well,
Speaker 1: I don't think it was. But maybe I wasn't really aware.
Speaker 1: I didn't have a lot of like hometown pride back
Speaker 1: when I was a teen, you know, like you're just
Speaker 1: like everywhere, like like everywhere's better than here, like you
Speaker 1: just want to get out. I wasn't like St. Louis
Speaker 1: is the best, but I wasn't like small Pound. No, No, St.
Speaker 1: Louis is the I think it's the most populous city
Speaker 1: of six that's pretty up there. Yeah it is, um
Speaker 1: And I feel like I traveled enough as a child
Speaker 1: that I saw like, oh this is I didn't feel
Speaker 1: like you know, when people hear Missouri, they think it's
Speaker 1: like farmland, which a lot of it is. But um no.
Speaker 1: But in regards that you said you wanted to get out,
Speaker 1: That's why, because I just wanted to like be, I
Speaker 1: wanted to do like Felicity and like go to New
Speaker 1: York and like there's there's bigger things out there, Like
Speaker 1: I just I just wanted to do something. I just
Speaker 1: wanted to be. Like that was my way of like rebelling,
Speaker 1: even though there's no rebellion. There are things you know
Speaker 1: about St. Louis that like three things and no one
Speaker 1: would know being from here. Like, um, I I say
Speaker 1: that saying that I could live in a place for
Speaker 1: thirty years and no less than someone that just does
Speaker 1: want tour. Well, I feel like there's nothing that I
Speaker 1: know like historically that is that my dad could like
Speaker 1: really I think St. Louis? Yeah, yeah, like a guy,
Speaker 1: what's the story. I don't know my grant grandfather's name.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to know the history of St. Louis.
Speaker 1: I know Lewis and Clark came through here. Oh is
Speaker 1: that the Lewis I know that. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: literally don't know anything about St. Louis at all, about
Speaker 1: the founding of it. I don't know when where I'm
Speaker 1: from Missouri was made into a state. I don't know
Speaker 1: if it was part of the Louisiana purchase. I don't
Speaker 1: know anything. It's so embarrassing Missouri part of the South
Speaker 1: or the north. It's like in the middle. It's the Midwest.
Speaker 1: It's not the South. Even though if you get into
Speaker 1: the bootheel, which I think that you assumed we were
Speaker 1: in prior to like a week ago, that's when you're
Speaker 1: getting down to Arkansas. Arkansas's house. Yeah, how is it
Speaker 1: being back for you? What? Just the last day? It
Speaker 1: was good? Yeah, I mean we got in last night
Speaker 1: at like eight or nine o'clock the l Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean it was a long day travel. I was pretty
Speaker 1: You know when you get off a plane and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm whine a week. I'm like with it, but then
Speaker 1: you're kind of also out of it at the same time,
Speaker 1: like you're tired or didn't you even know. I think
Speaker 1: that's kind of what I was. But had Brandon picked
Speaker 1: me up, it is nice. We uh had some Thai
Speaker 1: food when I got back waiting for me, which is nice, unreal,
Speaker 1: and then we took a shower. Dude, I don't know
Speaker 1: what your water pressure situation was in Mexico. The water
Speaker 1: pressure of this building is fantastic. Yeah, they're wasting a
Speaker 1: lot of while it's great. Yeah, I want a waterfall.
Speaker 1: I want fucking Niagara, just come in, yes, very much.
Speaker 1: I didn't really like a three spouts. Yes, you know
Speaker 1: you could change it on the think yeah, but just
Speaker 1: it gets worse. You think it's like on the worst
Speaker 1: setting already, and then you twist it and it's like,
Speaker 1: oh this it's I guess I should have appreciated what
Speaker 1: I had. But then you go back and it's not
Speaker 1: the same. No, it's not. It's never the same. So
Speaker 1: I was on that three clicks where I thought it
Speaker 1: was better hour together. That was like the you ate
Speaker 1: and then you took a shower together. She uh. We
Speaker 1: did this thing where we um, what's the bathrub the whatever,
Speaker 1: like the kind of like a loof of but it
Speaker 1: has like little exfolians in it. And we did that
Speaker 1: to each other's backs, and it's just like a nice
Speaker 1: thing because you don't wash your I don't wash my back.
Speaker 1: I haven't watched I don't think I've ever washed my back.
Speaker 1: It's not getting washed. No, I don't even know. My
Speaker 1: legs don't get washed unless I shave them. And that's
Speaker 1: just because I squeegee them with the um or I'm
Speaker 1: getting spray tand off. But I don't ever wash my
Speaker 1: legs or I don't wash my feet either. Well, they
Speaker 1: make that thing for your back, Yeah, I bought a
Speaker 1: lot of those. People do, like dry scrubs. People's the
Speaker 1: amount of time people spend on things that Like when
Speaker 1: I start getting on TikTok, that's where I start going,
Speaker 1: I'm out because I start thinking I'm not a good
Speaker 1: enough woman. I'm not like I don't care about like
Speaker 1: essential oils. I don't care about exfoliating. I don't do
Speaker 1: all those things that I'm supposed to do. I was
Speaker 1: supposed to have a I bought like a brush that
Speaker 1: are you're supposed to do like a dry brush first
Speaker 1: and scrape all the skins, wire your skins dry. No,
Speaker 1: what do you do all that stuff? Do you do
Speaker 1: a dry brush? Um? I just recently started doing one.
Speaker 1: But it's more for like circulation. Okay, yeah that's what
Speaker 1: they say too. So what's your shower routine? Like, how
Speaker 1: do you like prepare your let's talk about body. Let's
Speaker 1: like go away from face because that's a whole difference.
Speaker 1: You know, I do wash my back. I remember from
Speaker 1: the U Up days, Anya was like perplexed that you
Speaker 1: don't wash your legs, and I was like, do I
Speaker 1: wash my legs? So I always pay attention to just
Speaker 1: like wash everything ever since that show. Yeah, I'm just
Speaker 1: do pits um pussy ass crack and that's all I do. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all the pitch of my body, I just get those
Speaker 1: because those are the smelly places the rest of my
Speaker 1: my skin. Like it doesn't I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: don't feel like watching anything like that. It proves my
Speaker 1: back doesn't stinct, like fucking dogshit. Maybe I get it
Speaker 1: from the soap from washing. I feel like if I
Speaker 1: didn't have all the rundown from the shampoo and the
Speaker 1: condition and everything. And also shaving my legs does feel
Speaker 1: squeegee esque where you like you put on I put
Speaker 1: on conditioner just because it's like sometimes I run out
Speaker 1: of body wash and I just that is a continual
Speaker 1: thing that I forget and forget and forget to replenish.
Speaker 1: How important is water pressure? Do you you really get
Speaker 1: upset if it's too strong because you think it's absolutely
Speaker 1: I do well. I take really quick showers. I get
Speaker 1: upset just because I know that everyone else is really
Speaker 1: wasting so much water in here because I know how
Speaker 1: long men shower to like someone that it gets recycled,
Speaker 1: that it doesn't matter. I don't know that that's true,
Speaker 1: but you can tell yourself that. But yeah, water pressure
Speaker 1: is so important. I'm always grateful for it when it's ridiculous,
Speaker 1: but I like it, was so happy when I got
Speaker 1: into it. Yeah, like New York, when I would go, yeah, sorry,
Speaker 1: is it important to you if it's um if the
Speaker 1: like shower head is just a head, or do you
Speaker 1: need like with the with the cord. No, I've never
Speaker 1: used a chord, and I think that's where we're talking
Speaker 1: about getting the back real good if you have a chord.
Speaker 1: I would also say the cord with like women being like,
Speaker 1: I don't need a man, I've got this. Well, I
Speaker 1: can't understand how that could be. Yeah, like a cod.
Speaker 1: I I it's necessary to have the handheld one with
Speaker 1: the cord because I can't get my undercarriage otherwise I
Speaker 1: feel like it's not clean. Well, I just go and
Speaker 1: then I like cut water and I go like I
Speaker 1: bring the water to my vagina. I use that thing
Speaker 1: as a mike before and done like an hour set
Speaker 1: and yeah, you killed, I wouldn't say I killed. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know there's a lot of pressure in there. Yeah, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm telling you. I would go to New York and
Speaker 1: when I would look at apartment, my first thing I
Speaker 1: would do is run in the bathroom, and the real
Speaker 1: estate agent would always look at me like weird a
Speaker 1: little bit, and I'm like, this is the most this
Speaker 1: is top three, the most important thing. We look for
Speaker 1: the mic thing. Oh no, no, no, oh yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so important if it got hot right away. I
Speaker 1: did that on this on this apartment, for sure. I
Speaker 1: ran it, and I remember, yeah, the real estate agent
Speaker 1: kind of being like, what are you doing? It's like
Speaker 1: that is so crucial. That's that's more crucial than like
Speaker 1: staying at a place to see if there's planes flaying
Speaker 1: overhead are going to wake you up all night or
Speaker 1: some kind of train going by, because that's I can
Speaker 1: always get white noise, but I can't get white water.
Speaker 1: I want white I want I want to feel like
Speaker 1: I'm going like standing under Niagara falls from pressure. It
Speaker 1: feels great. Head. That's what I want. Yeah, so you
Speaker 1: got in the shower, you did a scrub down, nice
Speaker 1: scrub and then um what we then we got in bed.
Speaker 1: I mean you start making love in the shower or
Speaker 1: you does it happen before? Now? We we we did
Speaker 1: the bed, we made love, but after you but I
Speaker 1: was tired. I was tired. I wish I was like
Speaker 1: I wanted to fucking be rabbiged. Sometimes I want to
Speaker 1: just ravish, you know. But my body's like, huh, I
Speaker 1: think you us combined radish and rabbage. Yeah, which word
Speaker 1: is it? Ravage? And you said ravish like it's yeah,
Speaker 1: you'll hear that for sure. Ye want to hear him
Speaker 1: say it again if you want to hear exactly what
Speaker 1: you said. Sometimes you do want to wrap radish ravish
Speaker 1: a radish sometimes radishes with a little salt on them.
Speaker 1: And like we used to make this thing called garbage.
Speaker 1: I don't know why we called a garbage. But every
Speaker 1: Sunday when there was golf on, and we would go
Speaker 1: for like a family hike and then we'd come back
Speaker 1: and leave. My parents would watch golf, which it's just
Speaker 1: very calming just to hear golf in the background, and
Speaker 1: I could just sit and kind of like binge on this.
Speaker 1: Like we would cut up radishes, green onions, carrots and celery,
Speaker 1: and you put in a big bowl of with water
Speaker 1: and you put a bunch of ice in it, so
Speaker 1: it's like ice cold all these veggies. And then you
Speaker 1: do a plate and you put salt on the plate
Speaker 1: and you take it out and you just swirl it
Speaker 1: on the plate and just eat. We called it garbage.
Speaker 1: I don't know what what why. That was no dip
Speaker 1: that we weren't like trying to diet or anything either,
Speaker 1: Like let me be clear, like this is a family
Speaker 1: that was not that way at all. But that was
Speaker 1: just a thing we did where and I would hear
Speaker 1: just golf tones on TV and he's chipping and golfing
Speaker 1: was associating, and then all of a sudden, two hours
Speaker 1: later it would be tonight on sixty minutes, I'm Leslie Stall,
Speaker 1: I'm Marley Safer, and then it would be like fuck, homework,
Speaker 1: got gotta go to school tomorrow. That was kind of
Speaker 1: the Sunday yeah, yeah minutes. The guy with the eyebrows,
Speaker 1: he was I always say that I have uh, oh
Speaker 1: you mean Andy Rooney. Yeah. See what I don't understand
Speaker 1: is air ports. And he was the first like kind
Speaker 1: of disgruntled comic. Oh my god, speaking of this just
Speaker 1: reminded me of what I wanted to remember last week
Speaker 1: where I totally lost my train of thought on the
Speaker 1: show we're talking about, I think we're probably talking about
Speaker 1: Ukraine or just like people like making things about themselves.
Speaker 1: I loved this one post that you sent me of
Speaker 1: someone who was like calling out comedians. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of that's going on right now on TikTok and Instagram
Speaker 1: reels of people making fun of celebrities for doing things
Speaker 1: to make Ukraine about themselves because they're like, oh fuck,
Speaker 1: I can't I can't post about myself. Like so there's
Speaker 1: soho there. You know, there's just a bunch of videos
Speaker 1: mocking celebrities about how they're gonna make it about themselves
Speaker 1: and like like acting like they're tearing up and all
Speaker 1: the stuff. I just want to say, as a creative
Speaker 1: person who often writes jokes that are is mocking other people,
Speaker 1: I want to say a lot of times that thing
Speaker 1: that you're mocking, you think of it because you are
Speaker 1: the thing. So like you sent me an example of
Speaker 1: someone that was like, sorry, comedians, not gonna be able
Speaker 1: to make this about yourself? Today, ha sucks something like
Speaker 1: that some edgy fucking tweet And I knew instantly it
Speaker 1: was No, it sounded like using tweet, this freaking tweet
Speaker 1: over here. Yeah, this fucking edgy tweet. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that is it almost does sound like a derogatory term.
Speaker 1: So this edgy tweeter, he is, like, you know, doing
Speaker 1: calling up comics. I know the genesis of that observation.
Speaker 1: He woke up that day wanting to post something about
Speaker 1: himself and he couldn't, and he thought, it sucks, I
Speaker 1: can't post about myself today. He then felt the embarrassment
Speaker 1: of having that thought and decided to project it onto others.
Speaker 1: So I just want to say that when you thy
Speaker 1: doth protest too much or whatever the sake experience Slash
Speaker 1: Taylor swift lyrics. Thing is takes a test. I think
Speaker 1: it's what's the word takes a test? No, I like
Speaker 1: that aof takes a test? If like, that's when someone
Speaker 1: that's called productive will say that when it's projecting. Now,
Speaker 1: adof takes a test. It's like, it's because to do that,
Speaker 1: because I've seen you do. I've seen your like I
Speaker 1: sometimes try to trace your mind and how you get
Speaker 1: to things. And sometimes I'll be like, because I will
Speaker 1: do it, I will write a joke calling out some
Speaker 1: behavior that I'm like, I do that, And for instance,
Speaker 1: um models who pretend to eat on camera, or like
Speaker 1: I love pizza and I did a joke about it
Speaker 1: where they like take a bite and they say refreshing,
Speaker 1: and You're like, have you never eaten pizza? That's because
Speaker 1: I used to be antorexic and not want to eat
Speaker 1: things on camera, and I used to be fucking like
Speaker 1: losing my mind about how am I going to do this,
Speaker 1: and like I would always want to just I was
Speaker 1: scared to have to eat on camera, Like it came
Speaker 1: from me being that. Yeah, like me making fun of
Speaker 1: edgy comedians part of me. I don't want to go
Speaker 1: as far as like what my edge character is, but
Speaker 1: I do think sometimes I will maybe hold back and
Speaker 1: I'm there might be a jealousy of their freedom of
Speaker 1: going where they go. But when some of them I
Speaker 1: feel like, do it in a way that's still intelligent
Speaker 1: and like not just shocking but actually very funny still,
Speaker 1: but sometimes I feel like maybe because I feel it's
Speaker 1: like an easy way out and they get to do
Speaker 1: that and you don't get to let's mock it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I like I've been doing. I've just like I gotta
Speaker 1: get back into like being a more mindful and like
Speaker 1: less egotistical. Like I've been just kind of like in
Speaker 1: this ugly state of mind of just hating things and
Speaker 1: judging them and being like and it's all if I
Speaker 1: liked myself and felt confident I don't care about anyone else.
Speaker 1: I really you don't have every wrong with anyone else.
Speaker 1: Last night I received some like just some like light
Speaker 1: concern or like just checking in on like hey, like
Speaker 1: with this music thing you're doing, like I just want
Speaker 1: to make sure like you're not like you gotta you
Speaker 1: gotta work really hard at this before you like release stuff.
Speaker 1: And I like got so defensive of like, of course
Speaker 1: I know that I'm not going to release stuff, but
Speaker 1: I caveat everything that I do music wise with I
Speaker 1: suck so much. And I know that and any besties
Speaker 1: that's listening right now that's ever seen me on Instagram
Speaker 1: live knows that it is crutched and book ended to
Speaker 1: the point where people are like stop saying that it's
Speaker 1: so funny because people either say you're stating on yourself,
Speaker 1: just do it, or they go, God, she thinks she's
Speaker 1: so good, so you can't really win. So you're not
Speaker 1: supposed to ever disparage yourself because you're supposed to like
Speaker 1: be you. But then the second you do or the
Speaker 1: second you don't, and you're like, hey, I think I
Speaker 1: sound good, people are like, hey, you know you don't
Speaker 1: sound good, right, like, don't put this out. And I'm
Speaker 1: struggling with like the fact that I creating music and
Speaker 1: I want to share it with not the world and
Speaker 1: be like this is my opus and I'm done and
Speaker 1: I'm as good as Taylor Swift and sign me up
Speaker 1: for a Grammy. I I'm doing everything from like I'm
Speaker 1: a twelve year old that just started like I'm I'm
Speaker 1: eighteen year old, Nikki Glazer just started doing comedy like
Speaker 1: judge me against one year doing this and um, and
Speaker 1: I was getting so defensive and I just was in
Speaker 1: this loop of arguing like someone it was like someone
Speaker 1: in my like a close like family, and I was
Speaker 1: just couldn't stop like just being like but I want
Speaker 1: you to know that, I know that, and it was
Speaker 1: just never going anywhere. And then I just for a second,
Speaker 1: I'm reading this book called The pers The Pursuit of
Speaker 1: Happiness or the Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama,
Speaker 1: and I was like, wait a second, let me just
Speaker 1: take my ego out of this and see what it
Speaker 1: looks like like, let me just do an experience. Um.
Speaker 1: She was like talking to me about like what her
Speaker 1: perception of me doing music was in trying to explain
Speaker 1: her side of things, and while she was talking, I
Speaker 1: just kind of drifted off and was like, what is
Speaker 1: this conversation with not my ego, not involved, with me
Speaker 1: not being like but I want her to understand that
Speaker 1: I'm not this without me being like, what are people
Speaker 1: going to say? And honestly, the conversation is mood. It
Speaker 1: doesn't matter because what she was coming with of I'm
Speaker 1: worried about people thinking one thing about you when you've
Speaker 1: just like it's kind of my mom's concern of when
Speaker 1: I was in the Gay Straight Alliance in high school
Speaker 1: and she was like, people are gonna think you're gay,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, but and I almost wanted. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be gay in high school because I wanted to
Speaker 1: be something that my mom would be like I could
Speaker 1: prove that she didn't want me to do this thing
Speaker 1: that's just who I am, you know, like it just
Speaker 1: because when you're gay. I knew that it was just
Speaker 1: who you are, and I knew that she would have
Speaker 1: a problem with it, but she always said her problem
Speaker 1: was I don't want other people be judging you, which
Speaker 1: is a lot of parents who accept their gay kids
Speaker 1: say that. But that bothered me because it was always like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm but this person was explaining to me, Nikki, I
Speaker 1: just want to protect I don't if you want to
Speaker 1: do what you do and not care what people say.
Speaker 1: I don't care what people say about you. I know
Speaker 1: where you're coming from with this. I don't want I
Speaker 1: know how sensitive you are when people talk about you.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to. I don't want to
Speaker 1: see you go through the pain of people misinterpreting what
Speaker 1: you're doing and thinking you think you're cool or whatever.
Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, if I take my that's
Speaker 1: all their ego, that's all they're like worrying about me.
Speaker 1: Like they're worrying about me is not even my issue,
Speaker 1: Like you know, if you take your ego out of things,
Speaker 1: which is just this new experiment I'm doing, because the
Speaker 1: ego is hard to even understand what it is. It's
Speaker 1: just a sense of self. It's just thinking that you're
Speaker 1: an individual who when you're not. Really you're just a
Speaker 1: big mass of cells that's gonna die someday. Sorry. And
Speaker 1: you may have a soul, but yourself is just a
Speaker 1: it's just an illusion. And so when you take that
Speaker 1: away and you go, what what would I feel right
Speaker 1: now if I didn't if I really if there was
Speaker 1: no ache in this for me of what people thought,
Speaker 1: what would I do? How would I act? And it's
Speaker 1: like I don't know. It was almost like an exorcism,
Speaker 1: and I was like, this conversation is over. This is
Speaker 1: all about my ego. I'm being sensitive because I want
Speaker 1: people to be nice to me, but I also want
Speaker 1: them to understand that I don't think I'm cool and
Speaker 1: I it's just all it's all ego, and I really
Speaker 1: want to free myself of that because it's just in
Speaker 1: the argument we've ever gotten. In the second you and
Speaker 1: I just say, would set aside our egos, it would
Speaker 1: be done. It would be done. It literally it makes
Speaker 1: everything cease to any argument cease to exist. Putin fucking Trump,
Speaker 1: anyone who argues with anything. It's all about ego. You're
Speaker 1: taking from me, You're making me look bad, And it's like,
Speaker 1: but if you like yourself, no one can make you
Speaker 1: look bad. I guess the flip side of that is like,
Speaker 1: can ego protect you from, like I don't know, putting
Speaker 1: out things like for me, like sometimes I don't have
Speaker 1: any egos, so I'll just put out anything, you know,
Speaker 1: So like I guess the flip side of that is
Speaker 1: like do I put out ship when it's not good
Speaker 1: enough to where I could even make it? Because I
Speaker 1: have no ego in regards to that. Like there's a
Speaker 1: line I think between right, like where I get mad
Speaker 1: at you're putting something out too soon, where I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: if you just like tweaked a little bit, it would
Speaker 1: be amazing, and you're just rushing it. So maybe have
Speaker 1: a little bit more ego of thinking what people are
Speaker 1: gonna think. That's interesting. So but my point like, yeah,
Speaker 1: so with your music, it's like also it's like people
Speaker 1: are putting doing something outside of whatever their thing is,
Speaker 1: their fear of that. Yes, they're putting that on you,
Speaker 1: on you and if you don't because last night I
Speaker 1: was telling her, I was like, I'm okay, people can
Speaker 1: say Nikki think she's sweets, she thinks she sounds good.
Speaker 1: I know that. I don't. I know that I think
Speaker 1: I sound good for a year. And I think that's
Speaker 1: getting ahead of it though, too, where it's like, I
Speaker 1: don't think you think you know. I think I think
Speaker 1: I sound good for a year in I do, I
Speaker 1: think I have a lot of promise. If I was
Speaker 1: a twelve year old girl that had as much, that
Speaker 1: was playing guitar for a year and was singing the
Speaker 1: way I do, I would say you have a future
Speaker 1: in this, girl, Like if you really work hard, you
Speaker 1: have a future in this. As a thirty seven year
Speaker 1: old woman, there's no one like everyone who listens to
Speaker 1: me is going to compare me to another thirty seven
Speaker 1: year old woman who's been doing music, because people don't
Speaker 1: start things like this when they're thirty seven, so there's
Speaker 1: no context for it. And that's why I continue to
Speaker 1: contextualize it every time I present it, so that people
Speaker 1: know I don't want you to compare me to Taylor
Speaker 1: Swift or fucking uh anyone. I have a lot to
Speaker 1: say about this. Let me just we'll come back, and
Speaker 1: I want to talk about ego when I come back.
Speaker 1: We'll get to that as well, but I want to
Speaker 1: talk about ego. I had a realization recently. Let's go
Speaker 1: to break. What I'm saying is that I for music.
Speaker 1: I struggle and know what, maybe I like your insight
Speaker 1: on this too. I'm struggling with when I so, my
Speaker 1: my friend was telling me, like this family friend was
Speaker 1: like of concern about me looking stupid with my music
Speaker 1: or me me feeling stupid. They don't think I look stupid.
Speaker 1: They're worried that people are gonna say mean things like
Speaker 1: they did it with the Bob Saggett thing. And she
Speaker 1: saw how that made me sad, like how they like
Speaker 1: made fun of me and made me a little sad
Speaker 1: and angry and want to act out and respond to it.
Speaker 1: And she just didn't like seeing that it made me sad.
Speaker 1: And so she's looking out for me in the future
Speaker 1: if I ever released something to get ahead of that.
Speaker 1: And I've just you know, received a bunch of tracks
Speaker 1: that I recorded in January with Onion Matt that I
Speaker 1: worked like a week on and it was just for fun.
Speaker 1: I even made sure that they knew I was maybe
Speaker 1: never going to release these because I just want to
Speaker 1: see what happens. And the thing I'm struggling with is
Speaker 1: when I started and stand up, because she was telling me, well,
Speaker 1: when you started stand up, you weren't like putting this
Speaker 1: stuff out there all the time. And to be honest
Speaker 1: with you, when I started in stand up, I was
Speaker 1: not like other stand ups and I'm I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: I was. I've never met another stand up that was
Speaker 1: like me and did not accept guest sets early on,
Speaker 1: never asked people to come see her, never asked friends
Speaker 1: to come see her, would never put a clip online,
Speaker 1: wouldn't dare like, wouldn't audition for things because I didn't
Speaker 1: think I was good because I knew it takes seven
Speaker 1: years to get good. I read the books, I listened
Speaker 1: to the podcast. I knew the rules. No one's going
Speaker 1: to avoid that. But then I auditioned for Last Comic
Speaker 1: Standing because and I know this sounds like yeah right, people,
Speaker 1: I wanted to go on a trip with my friends.
Speaker 1: They got a van we're gonna go to and all
Speaker 1: I wanted was to audition because I had been doing
Speaker 1: it a year and a half and I wanted them
Speaker 1: to say, you show a lot of promise, but you're
Speaker 1: too young, because I knew there's no way I should
Speaker 1: belong on Last Comic Standing, but I didn't. You could
Speaker 1: ask any of the guys I went with. I did
Speaker 1: not want audition. I fought it. There were guys that,
Speaker 1: you know, along my career, I got asked to do
Speaker 1: guest sets for so many headliners who probably did want
Speaker 1: to bang me, but also did think I was funny.
Speaker 1: And I turned down guest sets all the time, which
Speaker 1: is unheard of. But and it's not a good thing.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that's a good thing. I've just always
Speaker 1: felt I wasn't good enough until I just wait, and
Speaker 1: when I remember when I got Last Coming Standing. When
Speaker 1: I got I went, I auditioned. I got a little
Speaker 1: cocky on stage because I did have a good set.
Speaker 1: I heard the two judges go, Nikki, you're good, but
Speaker 1: you're just not ready for this show. And I lied
Speaker 1: about I said I doing two years, I'd been doing
Speaker 1: it one and they're like, it's just not long enough.
Speaker 1: And I was walking off the stage and one of
Speaker 1: the other judges said to the other man, I really
Speaker 1: like her, and the other one goes, well, I could
Speaker 1: be convinced, and I ran back on stage, and I said,
Speaker 1: can I do one more joke? Because the truth was,
Speaker 1: I didn't get all my jokes in, and I knew
Speaker 1: I had one joke, and I know it would be
Speaker 1: a funny. I don't know what. So I did get
Speaker 1: cocky in that one moment and I went back up
Speaker 1: and I went and made it to the night show.
Speaker 1: Then at the night show, I probably told the story before,
Speaker 1: but it's worth repeating because it's fucking insane. I go
Speaker 1: to the night show. I am so everyone that waited
Speaker 1: in line in Chicago in two thousand six, you know,
Speaker 1: hundreds of comedians, if not thousands. The night show was
Speaker 1: just thirty thirty and none of the guys that I
Speaker 1: went in my van with who would were always all
Speaker 1: better than me at that time, without question, they none
Speaker 1: of them made it. Maybe one did, and we all
Speaker 1: go to the night show and then only three people
Speaker 1: are chosen, and it's me, John Roy and Jerry d
Speaker 1: And on the night show was Jimmy Parto, who was
Speaker 1: like they were following him around with cameras all day
Speaker 1: all night, like he was clearly the one that they
Speaker 1: were like, he's the big guy. And Jimmy Parto was
Speaker 1: one of the funniest people that's ever existed, and it
Speaker 1: was so at this time, like I've been doing comedy
Speaker 1: for probably fifteen years at that point, and it was
Speaker 1: so fucking embarrassing because I knew I sucked and I
Speaker 1: was getting ahead of Jimmy Parto, Like there's it's not
Speaker 1: like I was. I was good for how long I've
Speaker 1: been doing it, But that's not what that shows about.
Speaker 1: It's not like American you know, like last comics standing
Speaker 1: who's been who's good for how long they've been doing it?
Speaker 1: And I remember, though, when I got the ticket to
Speaker 1: go to California to be like you're into Hollywood. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it was so awkward. That's a whole other
Speaker 1: story I'm saving for my book of like that night
Speaker 1: and how embarrassing it was to go upstairs and see
Speaker 1: everyone that didn't make it and they saw this girl
Speaker 1: who's been doing it a year, who clearly sucked, didn't
Speaker 1: even know how to stay in the spotlight on stage,
Speaker 1: like no skills, and how embarrassing that was. And what
Speaker 1: happened in that whole thing, which Jimmy Parter and I
Speaker 1: have had like h like if I've always been a
Speaker 1: huge fan of his and I was so scared of
Speaker 1: him for a while because I thought he hated me
Speaker 1: because I got this whole thing happened backstage. But I
Speaker 1: love him so so so much now um and always did. Anyway.
Speaker 1: I remember calling Tommy John again when I got back
Speaker 1: to Ku, and I was thinking, I'm going, what, oh,
Speaker 1: what do you mean Tommy John again? If you don't
Speaker 1: know Tommy John again is he's honestly, he's John Mullaney
Speaker 1: funny like he what he and John Mullaney at They
Speaker 1: were slightly had doing it, doing it probably a year
Speaker 1: longer than me. And they were always the ones that
Speaker 1: were like Jesus Christ, this guy a Z's as he's
Speaker 1: been doing like probably three or four years. It's got
Speaker 1: to be a percentage of you that thinks that you
Speaker 1: do deserve it. No, no, but here's what I think. No,
Speaker 1: all I promise you. All I wanted was them to
Speaker 1: say good job. The this is like what do you
Speaker 1: want from music? But let me just finish the story.
Speaker 1: So Tommy John again I called. I remember I was
Speaker 1: walking into Dylan's in Lawrence, Kansas to go get like
Speaker 1: some fucking antarextic food. And I was walking in and
Speaker 1: I was on the phone. I was like, Tommy, I
Speaker 1: made it through, and he it's just so much better
Speaker 1: than me at this point, and like was the guy
Speaker 1: that I wanted to be as good as. And I
Speaker 1: remember him saying, Nikki, if I were you, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: go You're just not like he's like, literally with my
Speaker 1: set of skills, like I wouldn't. I wouldn't go to Hollywood,
Speaker 1: like I would turn it down. It's just gonna be.
Speaker 1: It's a too big of a platform, and you're too young.
Speaker 1: We both had a good enough self awareness, and I
Speaker 1: remember just being like, but that's but do you turn
Speaker 1: That's why I get so mad when people are like
Speaker 1: this girl keeps getting all these things, or this guy
Speaker 1: gets all these things. No what, you're frozen so we
Speaker 1: can't see you. This guy she got this stuff, And
Speaker 1: it's like, is she supposed to turn it down? If
Speaker 1: the industry is handing you things even when you don't
Speaker 1: ask for them, are you supposed to turn it down?
Speaker 1: And so my question is is that when I'm making music,
Speaker 1: there's I could go to open mics and wear a
Speaker 1: wig and like go as someone else and start totally fresh.
Speaker 1: But when I have my best friends who have been
Speaker 1: doing music for twenty five plus years, and they write
Speaker 1: songs for me and want to go record them for me.
Speaker 1: And I have the extra money and the free weekend
Speaker 1: to go make some music in a studio even though
Speaker 1: I know I'm really bad. Do I turn that down?
Speaker 1: And if I get a final product that sounds like wow?
Speaker 1: This is like it's like painting with Monai's paints, but
Speaker 1: you've just started painting. Are you supposed to go I'm
Speaker 1: not allowed to use money his paints. I'm bad, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna use cradle crayons. Sorry, Am I supposed to
Speaker 1: turn that stuf down? And if I have those recordings
Speaker 1: and everything except my voice sounds great, and maybe my
Speaker 1: voice sounds c on the terms of the stuff sounding
Speaker 1: like an a? Am I supposed to not put that
Speaker 1: out because I haven't discovered my true voice? Or do
Speaker 1: I get to put things because young comics put things
Speaker 1: out all the time on TikTok and get millions of views,
Speaker 1: and they're at the shitty open mic. Their stage presence
Speaker 1: is terrible, their outfit is bad, their jokes are way
Speaker 1: worse than they think, and I go, oh, don't do this.
Speaker 1: This is how we're gonna remember you or do I
Speaker 1: just say fucket? I think this sounds good. A couple
Speaker 1: of people I ran this by sounds good enough. I'm
Speaker 1: trying this for the first time. I know you're gonna
Speaker 1: make fun of me. Here we go. There's no way
Speaker 1: for me to do this the same way I approach
Speaker 1: stand up. Is what I'm saying. There's no grassroots for
Speaker 1: me to do except I am. I am perfor just
Speaker 1: for besties on my Instagram. I'm not asking like my
Speaker 1: comedy fans to like watch me. I continually tell the besties.
Speaker 1: If anyone ever goes where's the comedy, I kicked them
Speaker 1: out of the room because I'm like, this is for
Speaker 1: people who know what I'm doing. So I just I
Speaker 1: don't want to be that person that everyone's like Nikki's
Speaker 1: going crazy and like we need to have an intervention
Speaker 1: that she thinks she's sweet. I just what am I
Speaker 1: supposed to do with these? But I think the Bob
Speaker 1: Sage song and like the idea of him dying and
Speaker 1: him putting out a song is a completely different thing
Speaker 1: than just like no that was that was a thing
Speaker 1: that I never planned unless he died, that would have
Speaker 1: I would have never released. I understand what I'm saying
Speaker 1: that people's perception right and which time over that I
Speaker 1: don't care at all. But I'm saying, no, if if
Speaker 1: the woman is coming to you this whoever it is,
Speaker 1: family friend, is comparing the two, yeah, it's a different thing.
Speaker 1: That's my point. My point is is the Bob thing. No,
Speaker 1: I'm talking about new recordings that like might understand. I
Speaker 1: understand that, but that's not the same thing as putting
Speaker 1: on after someone dies and from the outside looking in
Speaker 1: can be seen as like, what is it. I don't
Speaker 1: understand that right because it was so let's just talk
Speaker 1: about me with the song. I'm saying that, so put
Speaker 1: that aside. But I'm saying that's why that woman or yeah,
Speaker 1: I was doing that because of the hate you got
Speaker 1: for that. Yes, I don't think you'll get as much
Speaker 1: hate if you're like, hey, here's a self recorded song
Speaker 1: that I It's a two different things. But do you
Speaker 1: feel that way about like doing new stuff? I do.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm saying it's a new thing. So I'm saying, like, so,
Speaker 1: you're right, like the fear that they have of me
Speaker 1: getting the backlash is not gonna be They're not gonna
Speaker 1: get it from putting out fucking That's so funny because
Speaker 1: I thought that the backlash would be less because this
Speaker 1: was motivated by a real emotion as opposed to just
Speaker 1: me being like the beach was warm on a Sunday night,
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean. I know in your
Speaker 1: mind you would think you would think, oh, no, this
Speaker 1: is just I'm sorry to go off. So but I'm
Speaker 1: just having trouble making having people understand. Yeah, okay, so
Speaker 1: please I have to I'm going to say something a
Speaker 1: little bit different than what you're saying. And I think
Speaker 1: if you approach it as this person came to me,
Speaker 1: if you just try to see it through this person's perspective,
Speaker 1: maybe she knows that you care a lot about what
Speaker 1: people think of you, and that's why she came to you. Now,
Speaker 1: aside from that, I think sometimes we have a tendency
Speaker 1: to create these monsters, is what I call them, where
Speaker 1: we give a lot of meaning and like a narrative
Speaker 1: to something that doesn't quite exist. But maybe we just
Speaker 1: give too much to it, like the negative comments and
Speaker 1: all of that. I think it's it's just like a
Speaker 1: monster that we create it's not an actual thing that exists.
Speaker 1: And I would tell you to read that Feeling Good
Speaker 1: book because I think you're having a lot of mental
Speaker 1: distortions about singing and what you're doing. Um is like
Speaker 1: he has five in there, And I just looked up
Speaker 1: mental filter, which is you pick out a negative detail
Speaker 1: in any situation and dwell on it exclusively, thus perceiving
Speaker 1: that whole situation is negative. Right, So you take a
Speaker 1: detail and then you blow this little balloon that was
Speaker 1: in a packet of balloons, and now you think all
Speaker 1: of these little balloons when they come into packet are
Speaker 1: just the same size. And then you blow up one
Speaker 1: and that's the only one you're seeing out of all
Speaker 1: those balloons. And I think it's becoming the whole thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's classic CBT. And there's so many apps that help you,
Speaker 1: like do this now that I get marketed all the
Speaker 1: time because they know I do this. I think you're right,
Speaker 1: and then no, I think what Okay? Yeah, I was
Speaker 1: gonna say one last thing. This was an article that
Speaker 1: we had in the news that Andrew never got to it,
Speaker 1: and I wish that you would have seen it. Um,
Speaker 1: it was about it, Bono said, that his stuff is
Speaker 1: trash right, Like he says that he can't even listen
Speaker 1: to the first like the first, like I don't know
Speaker 1: how many albums that you tube put out, he said.
Speaker 1: I hated my voice, then I love my voice now
Speaker 1: I can't even go back and listen to it. Yes,
Speaker 1: and that's the way I feel about my old stand up.
Speaker 1: And but I do see it, and I go, there's
Speaker 1: something there, And how cool did I get to see
Speaker 1: that my journey to becoming what I am now is
Speaker 1: online for other people who were starting out their journeys
Speaker 1: to see, like, Wow, she was not as good as
Speaker 1: she is now, like what I used to love looking for,
Speaker 1: like Sarah Silverman young, like anyone young, because I knew
Speaker 1: that I shouldn't compare myself to them now even though
Speaker 1: I was doing that. I just want to say one
Speaker 1: last thing, and I'm sorry to thank you so much
Speaker 1: for letting me process this. I am paranoid about people,
Speaker 1: and this is the balloon thing. This is the cognitive distortion.
Speaker 1: Ever since I was antorextic in high school and all
Speaker 1: my friends stopped talking to me and everyone talked about
Speaker 1: me behind my back. They went to the school, they
Speaker 1: went to the counselor. I got pulled out of class,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, this thing that everyone was
Speaker 1: talking about and no one came to me about, which
Speaker 1: was Nikki. You're not eating. You are crazy to think
Speaker 1: that this is like a thing that's gonna work for you.
Speaker 1: I eat music. Nikki is a crazy thing to think
Speaker 1: this is gonna work for you, much like my diet
Speaker 1: back then. And we're not gonna go to you about
Speaker 1: it because we don't want to, Like it's too embarrassing
Speaker 1: to tell you that this is what we're noticing and
Speaker 1: that you're not seeing it, and you it's like we're
Speaker 1: like all kind of worried about you. We're gonna go
Speaker 1: to the top. We're gonna come together and create an
Speaker 1: intervention where you're gonna get pulled out of class and
Speaker 1: all of us are still not going to talk to
Speaker 1: you about it afterwards. We're just gonna it's gonna I'm
Speaker 1: just scared that there's a thing brewing where I don't
Speaker 1: I just want to stay. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: one of those people in American Idol that's like Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: and then everyone's just like, oh, honey, as no one
Speaker 1: ever told you this is horrible, but it's I don't
Speaker 1: worry about because there are people who really in choosing
Speaker 1: a subjective Yeah. The music thing too, it's like how
Speaker 1: many albums, how many artists the first album is the
Speaker 1: best album. I mean, Bono says that about himself. Yet no, no, no.
Speaker 1: But my point being is like it's like like number one,
Speaker 1: like when these people hate their old ship, you just
Speaker 1: hate your old ship because you were just tired of
Speaker 1: your old ship. Millions of people love that. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: I know that millions of people would like, not millions,
Speaker 1: but I know thousands of people would think the songs
Speaker 1: that I made are pretty damn good. Now, this girl
Speaker 1: that confronted me might she is like those songs, I
Speaker 1: would never listen to them. I don't like them. They're
Speaker 1: not good to me. And I said to this girl that,
Speaker 1: and she was really scared to tell me that. And
Speaker 1: I'm like, she's like, you sound fine, but the songs
Speaker 1: are bad, like not what I would like. Yes, I
Speaker 1: sent them to my family. I got this feedback. She's like,
Speaker 1: I just don't like these songs. And she thought that
Speaker 1: was that. It took a really long time to get
Speaker 1: to that part of the conversation, she's so scared to
Speaker 1: tell me that, and I go, first of all, I
Speaker 1: didn't write them. I do. I like these songs though,
Speaker 1: and I I'm taking about as much offense to that
Speaker 1: as you telling me that you there. And my friend
Speaker 1: I go, you know what, that doesn't bother me at all,
Speaker 1: because guess what my favorite song you hate? And I
Speaker 1: had a prime example of one song that she like,
Speaker 1: you know, a separate from me ever bringing up this
Speaker 1: song was like, God, you know what song I fucking
Speaker 1: hate that everyone loves and she said the song, and
Speaker 1: I go, that is so ironic. That is my favorite,
Speaker 1: one of my top ten favorite songs. So I don't
Speaker 1: care if people don't like my music. I just don't
Speaker 1: want to be a tone deaf like idiots that no
Speaker 1: one likes it. But I do understand that, like because
Speaker 1: they were like, you know, Nikki, if you put this out,
Speaker 1: people are going to be like people when they think
Speaker 1: of you know, an adult, a thirty seven year old
Speaker 1: pop star or someone who's training get into indie rock
Speaker 1: or whatever you're trying to do. They think of Taylor Swift,
Speaker 1: they think of Katy Perry, and they're going to compare
Speaker 1: you to them, and I'm like, but what about Bob.
Speaker 1: I'm not truing comparing myself to Bob Dylan. Their voices
Speaker 1: and your voice isn't there, And I'm like, my voice
Speaker 1: is never gonna be Katy Perry's. It's never gonna be
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift's. It might be Taylor Swifts, to be honest
Speaker 1: with you, it's never gonna be Shakiras, it's never gonna
Speaker 1: be Gaga's. It's gonna be Liz Fair, It's gonna be
Speaker 1: you know, uh, Bob Dylan, who doesn't sound good at all,
Speaker 1: and you know I don't. This person was worried that
Speaker 1: they're gonna people are gonna compare me the Lady Gaga
Speaker 1: and be like she can't hit Adele's notes or whatever.
Speaker 1: It's like people, but but you're doing it again, music
Speaker 1: that you enjoy that it's not adult what you're doing
Speaker 1: it again where you're seeing people like everybody you can't.
Speaker 1: But that's how this how this was her saying yeah,
Speaker 1: And I even said like yeah, so she knows that
Speaker 1: she doesn't know what someone five miles away from her,
Speaker 1: who has a completely different life will think of your
Speaker 1: music and how they would hear your people. They might
Speaker 1: hear you as was fair, but they might also hear
Speaker 1: you as a lady gaga. You just don't know. Yes,
Speaker 1: the other thing I mean, it's not I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to be a dick, but like it's like if you
Speaker 1: if someone if you want someone to come up to
Speaker 1: you about like your intireca like right, like you weren't
Speaker 1: were you putting out? And it's not up to them
Speaker 1: to to be Like, I don't know. What I want
Speaker 1: is if I play a song for someone and they're like, Nikki,
Speaker 1: this is this. You have potential for a year in
Speaker 1: this is good. That's all I want for a year in.
Speaker 1: This is definitely like where you need to be. But this,
Speaker 1: I think you have so much. Before you put this
Speaker 1: out the way that I say about pictures that you
Speaker 1: put up, you should edit it. If I went up
Speaker 1: to in high school and go, look you're skinny now,
Speaker 1: but if you stick with this, you could be even skinny.
Speaker 1: That would have been cool in high school. That's a
Speaker 1: different story, you know, And I just I get that.
Speaker 1: But my point being is, like, you know, I if
Speaker 1: you can't like people might think that you can't take
Speaker 1: criticism well because it's all, yeah, it's that. That's what
Speaker 1: I said. At the end of my conversation, I said, well,
Speaker 1: you're right, because this person was like if you get
Speaker 1: offended when people don't say the right thing or they
Speaker 1: say the wrong thing, because I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 1: you to go, oh my god, Nikki, you should you
Speaker 1: should release this now. People are gonna lose their fucking minds.
Speaker 1: I just want people to say, for a year and
Speaker 1: this is good. I need to contextualize it better and say, hey,
Speaker 1: i'm let's play the song for you. All I want
Speaker 1: to know is if I'm crazy that a year in
Speaker 1: this is decent. That's what I wanted and I just
Speaker 1: need to give that so that that person or like
Speaker 1: you know, in terms of like in arexia, all I
Speaker 1: wanted was something to go, hey, I'm a little bit
Speaker 1: worried about you, and if we can't talk about this
Speaker 1: in a real way and you are continuing to make excuses,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to miss Price. Well, here's like you
Speaker 1: played those two songs for me when I was in
Speaker 1: that room. It was it was a bad context. That
Speaker 1: was my bad. It was just bad timing to play them.
Speaker 1: We're listening to it on the phone where you can't
Speaker 1: even this wasn't about that, but the way that's really
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying that someone that is a friend
Speaker 1: of yours you listens to your music, who then feels like,
Speaker 1: can I approach you in a way that tells you
Speaker 1: that this song not it's not doing it for me?
Speaker 1: This song is. And I am honest with you about
Speaker 1: your voice, like when you when the other day we
Speaker 1: sang the opening to your reality show, your voice sounded fantastic,
Speaker 1: and your voice like that it's not being utilized or
Speaker 1: your writing skills isn't being utilized how this song is
Speaker 1: being played. And I know that these eight or nine
Speaker 1: songs that you made that you spend time, but I
Speaker 1: like these but no, no, no, I I like that
Speaker 1: because I know that that that was a collaborative thing.
Speaker 1: So my cognitive dissidents can or my my little gymnastics
Speaker 1: I can do is like, Okay, everything you had wrong
Speaker 1: with it wasn't my fault, or the things you had
Speaker 1: wrong with it are about me not just doing it
Speaker 1: long enough. And yeah, the other day I realize getting
Speaker 1: upset about you saying nothing was really my bad and
Speaker 1: not contextualizing the delivery of that in the moment in
Speaker 1: a way that you felt comfortable saying whatever you could say,
Speaker 1: and that had nothing again, ego so wrapped up in
Speaker 1: it needed to hear just that was pretty good. That's
Speaker 1: like all I wanted. But you didn't know that's all
Speaker 1: I wanted. You thought that the bar was like you
Speaker 1: had to only say nice things. Any criticism that you
Speaker 1: had had to be you know, squashed, when really it
Speaker 1: was open for that. And it really like, but I
Speaker 1: just need to set up so that people feel comfortable
Speaker 1: because as a boss, as someone who is has a
Speaker 1: room of people that I'm employing, I forget that they feel.
Speaker 1: And I'm someone who can who can't like just shoot
Speaker 1: from the hip and just say hurtful things or not
Speaker 1: take things okay. And one my art always comes back
Speaker 1: to me and my fucking ego. And that's why I
Speaker 1: had to check it. And like I realized last night
Speaker 1: because I was talking about that moment, it not. It didn't.
Speaker 1: I shared that moment with um my friend end and
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, like there was a time I
Speaker 1: played these songs and you know, Andrew didn't say literally
Speaker 1: anything and that and then they said, well, if he
Speaker 1: would have said something you would have said, he shouldn't
Speaker 1: even said that, you know, would be better if he
Speaker 1: said nothing, and so he can't win. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: you has so fucking right. Whenever you'd say to someone,
Speaker 1: whenever you say to someone like, why did they say that?
Speaker 1: And you and you have the line they could have
Speaker 1: just said nothing, think about what nothing would feel like,
Speaker 1: because it did not feel good. But the truth is
Speaker 1: you were not given the opportunity to say anything. You
Speaker 1: felt anything you said was going to be wrong, so
Speaker 1: you chose to say nothing because I didn't allow for that,
Speaker 1: and it was not It was not your fault. It
Speaker 1: was not something that I'm glad that we talked about it,
Speaker 1: and I felt so good as soon as like, we
Speaker 1: exchanged texts about it, and I felt so fun about it.
Speaker 1: And I only brought it up later to share, like
Speaker 1: what I had learned in our in my conversation and
Speaker 1: with you is that that was my bad of not
Speaker 1: being the type of and I'm working on this so
Speaker 1: much of like being someone that people can be honest
Speaker 1: with and not having them fear my response because it's
Speaker 1: just I hate people like that. Man, it sucks when
Speaker 1: you can't tell your friends how you really feel and
Speaker 1: I'm really I want to say to you and to
Speaker 1: like Noah, and to like any of my friends listening
Speaker 1: or besties. Even I'm trying to get better with criticism
Speaker 1: and honesty because I want to be someone who um
Speaker 1: and that's why I try to apologize when I do
Speaker 1: have those like fucking flipouts where you know, when you're
Speaker 1: back into a corner, your fireflight response thing just comes
Speaker 1: in sometimes and I just don't have a choice but
Speaker 1: to just get defensive, and like you know, sometimes I
Speaker 1: just really don't have a choice. It's just like my
Speaker 1: anger takes over, you know what I'm saying, and the
Speaker 1: ego and I don't have a choice, and I but
Speaker 1: I do have a choice over though is acknowledging it
Speaker 1: as soon as I can, as soon as I have
Speaker 1: that fucking lush come over me of embarrassment of how
Speaker 1: I just acted, taking that moment and not sticking to
Speaker 1: it and just saying I'm embarrassed for how I just acted.
Speaker 1: But on the flip side, like people are aware of,
Speaker 1: like the situation like you're on a show perfect Strangers
Speaker 1: to where you're to lead actor where you have to
Speaker 1: have confidence, you have to think what you're doing, whether
Speaker 1: you think it's great or whatever it is, you have
Speaker 1: to have. You're standing in front of a hundred people,
Speaker 1: so you have to have false confidence. Sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to have that, and you have to have people around
Speaker 1: you kind of lying to you and sisting you up.
Speaker 1: But it does bring out good stuff, it really does.
Speaker 1: It does, But it can also do the we watch
Speaker 1: Kanye like, it can go out of control, Like I'm
Speaker 1: mitigating against becoming a Kanye where I think everything I
Speaker 1: do is fucking brilliant and everyone has to always kiss
Speaker 1: my ass all the time, and then I end up
Speaker 1: for getting Cootie's name at the Grammy party. But but
Speaker 1: on the flip side of that, the flip side of
Speaker 1: that is you don't need to apologize for doing something
Speaker 1: that you enjoy and you don't have to fucking sorry
Speaker 1: for it or feel like you have to fucking contextualize
Speaker 1: it for people that don't understand. So it's about it.
Speaker 1: It's the balance. But you know what it's like, It's
Speaker 1: also like, let's not make everything like grandiose. Like it's
Speaker 1: just it's like you're doing something, You're doing something. I'm
Speaker 1: just doing something I enjoy and like same with you
Speaker 1: with golf, like you might feel silly if you were
Speaker 1: to compete or like sign up for a tournament, like
Speaker 1: what am I gonna really I'm gonna do this, but
Speaker 1: you know what, it's fucking challenges are fun. Like Chris
Speaker 1: is going to play in a paddleball tournament this weekend,
Speaker 1: and I'm so fucking excited that I get to go
Speaker 1: like cheer him on. And the thing, the thing that
Speaker 1: in the end nothing matters, and this thing is it
Speaker 1: is official, but it's low level. He's like, you know,
Speaker 1: I signed in as a like whatever level. I'm probably
Speaker 1: not even that good, but we'll see. It's just makes
Speaker 1: raising mistakes a little bit and getting thinking you might
Speaker 1: be good enough to actually compete, whether it's with music,
Speaker 1: whether it's with it's it's and maybe you'll fucking be
Speaker 1: so humiliated, but at least you took a chance. Burnet Brown,
Speaker 1: someone sent me this When I was talking about this
Speaker 1: very same thing about the Bob sag of things. Someone
Speaker 1: sent me the Burnet Brown quote of like that I
Speaker 1: saw her doing her Netflix special. I don't want I
Speaker 1: don't want any criticism from people who aren't playing in
Speaker 1: the same arena as me. I'm putting myself in an
Speaker 1: arena of people, the people that critique me, unless you
Speaker 1: are putting yourself out there just as much as me
Speaker 1: and risking looking stupid, shut the funk up. And essentially
Speaker 1: that was it, Like, I don't want criticism from people
Speaker 1: who are you know, Natasha Jerry. I posted a joke
Speaker 1: of hers yesterday where she's uh in her stand up.
Speaker 1: She's talking about like guys nowadays are sitting on the
Speaker 1: toilet going I never fuck her, I never fuck her.
Speaker 1: You don't get to say whether you'd suck her because
Speaker 1: you're on a toilet being a disgusting human that would
Speaker 1: never You're not in her league, so you don't get
Speaker 1: to comment on that. You can all day, but we
Speaker 1: don't have to be. We don't have to have our
Speaker 1: feelings hurt by that bullshit. And I'm really when I
Speaker 1: say all this stuff, I'm let's move on to the
Speaker 1: news that all of it. I was just kidding the
Speaker 1: whole time. Now, what can we get one news story in? Yeah?
Speaker 1: What is it, Andrew? It's Wednesday, folks, you know what
Speaker 1: that means. It is Wednesday. We're coming live from you
Speaker 1: from the St. Louke. We're proud and we're having a
Speaker 1: good time. Calling asp for a second. Hope you're having
Speaker 1: all this. I know it's been a log show. If
Speaker 1: you're having all this well, because your boy is again
Speaker 1: a little sleepy. But in morning over there with this
Speaker 1: this this outfits cool. By the way, it was, it
Speaker 1: was all on accident. I almost want you to go like,
Speaker 1: he's where you gotta watch the YouTube. We're back in
Speaker 1: the studio, by the way, So the video is gonna
Speaker 1: be yeah, love. They almost look like easy. It's kind
Speaker 1: of called Nike Free met Con. So the front is
Speaker 1: for running. The back is still. Let's get to the news. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's all black, all black everything. How about I try
Speaker 1: No one's wearing a sweatshirt that I think you gave
Speaker 1: me like two years ago that I love so cute,
Speaker 1: love it so much, and I'm wearing a swifty sweatshirt.
Speaker 1: How about I do the news headlines? Rapid fire. You
Speaker 1: get like one thing to say about it? Yes, okay,
Speaker 1: one sentence each? Yep, all right. Pandemonium erupts at a
Speaker 1: theater as movie goer releases a bat during a screening
Speaker 1: of Robert Pattison. Pattinson's new Batman film, as part of
Speaker 1: a prank attempt um. That makes me so upset because
Speaker 1: that poor fucking bat. I wish Tiger King was a
Speaker 1: movie because I it would be funnier to release a tiger.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's okay, that's good. I was seeing Catwoman,
Speaker 1: but cat I just hate any pranks involving fucking animal,
Speaker 1: and especially a bat, who are there so sensitive already
Speaker 1: it's gonna be good if it's man handled enough to
Speaker 1: go into a movie theater. That's too much. It's too
Speaker 1: much anxiety for about that's so sensitive. I know that
Speaker 1: about bats well, but they a lot of luck. They
Speaker 1: couldn't catch the bat, so they offered the movie goers
Speaker 1: their money back, but they all just like most of them,
Speaker 1: decided to stay in the theater with about to finish
Speaker 1: the movie. That's kind of cool. I love that. Okay,
Speaker 1: next head, well, some people are terrified about so okay,
Speaker 1: next timeline Okay, f Boy Islands. Garrett Morowski says his
Speaker 1: passport showing Russia as his birthplace led to airport detention
Speaker 1: in Mexico. Wait, WHOA what I watched the video? What
Speaker 1: is he doing? Art says, Oh, yeah, I've seen him.
Speaker 1: He was in Mexico recently I saw him. I wonder
Speaker 1: why gallivanting on Instagram? Um, wait, so Garrett from so
Speaker 1: Garrett Garrett caused it? Caused because he had a Russian passport.
Speaker 1: They're like, get out of it. And he looks terrifishing,
Speaker 1: I think his stature, but he is Russian, his origins Russian?
Speaker 1: Exactly was he like? Didn't you talk like this when
Speaker 1: he said it? I fucking love Garrett so much. Um. Interesting,
Speaker 1: you know I've heard about the Russian tea room that
Speaker 1: it's really struggling in New York City. Everyone should support
Speaker 1: Russian restaurants around town because, let me be honest, these
Speaker 1: as you know, most Russians are not supporting this war
Speaker 1: and are terrified of Putin just as much as we are. Really,
Speaker 1: everyone should be supporting Russian owned businesses right now, so
Speaker 1: much because so many people are doing the same thing
Speaker 1: that happened with fucking the China flu and not ordering
Speaker 1: from Chinese restaurants when COVID happened. Let's make up for
Speaker 1: the dumb dumbs out there and and orders Russian things,
Speaker 1: including Garrett Garrett, the oil and guns from Russia. Know
Speaker 1: any Russian restaurant which I don't even know if Russian
Speaker 1: restaurants exists, but like any Russian business, support them right
Speaker 1: now because if they're clearly identified as Russian, people are
Speaker 1: avoiding them right now to make some sort of statement.
Speaker 1: And immigrants that left Russia to come here, so they
Speaker 1: get it. They don't like Russia either. Yeah, don't come
Speaker 1: at me. And I love I love Russians. My best
Speaker 1: friend's Russian. Any next story? Ready? Great, Okay, we're doing
Speaker 1: great here. Research indicates that doing this daily habit could
Speaker 1: slash your risk of a deadly stroke by forty percent.
Speaker 1: Can you guess what it is? Um daily habit? Taking
Speaker 1: aspirin close h meditating every day, a fuck of a
Speaker 1: massive stroke. Yeah, and I'm getting back into it, dude,
Speaker 1: I gotta get back into that, because they look at
Speaker 1: people who have had massive strokes and they see whether
Speaker 1: or not they've had they were practicing meditation, and then
Speaker 1: they look at people that didn't and they look, you know,
Speaker 1: they just look that are unhealthy, don't meditate exactly. So
Speaker 1: there's other factors, but but I want to say that
Speaker 1: that's pretty I've just never heard that. I've actually heard
Speaker 1: of bad things about meditation. Some people can get kind
Speaker 1: of a psychosis from it, so you gotta watch out.
Speaker 1: And most meditation apps and things of the sort have
Speaker 1: those kind of um, you know, uh warnings up front.
Speaker 1: But I'm not meditating right now, and it's definitely something
Speaker 1: that I'm getting to the point with all the things
Speaker 1: I'm talking about right now are me going like, girl,
Speaker 1: you know what you need to do. You need to
Speaker 1: get back in touch with like yourself and what that means,
Speaker 1: and like you need to calm down. I need to
Speaker 1: calm down and not get a massive stroke to be
Speaker 1: meditating and then feel a stroke like or anything like that.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's some Buddhists that can they know when
Speaker 1: their heart is going to stop. Yeah, they can control
Speaker 1: their heartbeats. So I guess the idea is like, if
Speaker 1: you're that mindful that you can actually somewhat your brain
Speaker 1: to not have a stroke or could or just know
Speaker 1: the signs of it, feel that it signs before it happens.
Speaker 1: But I think you're right. People that meditate are usually
Speaker 1: eating healthier, worried about breathing clean air, those kinds of things.
Speaker 1: Fuck freedom cries cries, and then be like let's go
Speaker 1: to break and come back with the game rise fried food. Alright,
Speaker 1: we're back. It's Wednesday, so we're doing a wild card Wednesday. Noah, Um,
Speaker 1: the game today is the esparrel game. Um s perel?
Speaker 1: Where should we begin? That card? Is I like that
Speaker 1: in our text? Your text came a stair perez perez,
Speaker 1: esther parcel? Um, yes, esther perel or pure l hand sanitizer.
Speaker 1: She has a game out? Where should we begin? Good
Speaker 1: for conversations, just little prompts. One thing is going to
Speaker 1: be the sentence we start with, and the other thing
Speaker 1: will be what the sentence or story we tell is
Speaker 1: about or like, you know, inspired by Yes, okay, So
Speaker 1: the prompt card is share something off the record, and
Speaker 1: then I missed the days when I could um. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's great off the record, something that you probably don't
Speaker 1: normally share with people that you maybe are a little
Speaker 1: bit closed off about. Okay, talk about I wish the
Speaker 1: days where I could miss the days I missed the
Speaker 1: days where I could um. Well, I will say this
Speaker 1: is off the record because it's uh, it sounds like
Speaker 1: gloating when you say this, but I missed the days
Speaker 1: when I could begin a new hobby and like and
Speaker 1: do it in a way that you know I missed up.
Speaker 1: I missed the days where, Um, I missed the days
Speaker 1: where strangers didn't know who I was sometimes because it's
Speaker 1: it feels weird having strangers think they've got you figured
Speaker 1: out when you're like most people. Is that something you
Speaker 1: do it? Yeah, I missed the days when I could
Speaker 1: go go about my life and and um, I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful that I'm someone that strangers know because obviously I
Speaker 1: have this, and but there are parts of me that
Speaker 1: missed the days when I could just do things and
Speaker 1: it was just my friends talking about me and at
Speaker 1: least they know me well enough and like that they
Speaker 1: kind of have a right to do it, I guess. Um.
Speaker 1: But also I don't miss those days because I'm I
Speaker 1: get so much better stuff from not from not that.
Speaker 1: So do you have one? Um? I mean, I'm just
Speaker 1: thinking it's not switch off the record, but just I
Speaker 1: literally miss the day's where I could run freely without
Speaker 1: worrying about being hurt every three seconds. I think it's
Speaker 1: really sad that my fucking hamstring tour that one time.
Speaker 1: And I literally am like, I don't think about it
Speaker 1: that much, but when I do up, Yeah, well I
Speaker 1: just get sad thinking like, oh, I can't go out
Speaker 1: and play basketball without thinking that I'm going to be
Speaker 1: like laying down on the ground fucking crying. So if
Speaker 1: you those things, remember, just go do them. So I
Speaker 1: always take the stairs because old people say someday not
Speaker 1: for the exercise, but someday you won't be able to
Speaker 1: go upstairs. Just do them now why you can? And
Speaker 1: I always think about that. But I think that with
Speaker 1: your hamstring thing, you'll absolutely you are and you're getting
Speaker 1: back in like really good shape. You're NBA natural born athlete.
Speaker 1: I think that the hamstring thing, you only fucked it
Speaker 1: up last time when you were trying to impress your
Speaker 1: girlfriend and like it was, but funked it up playing
Speaker 1: foot I sucked it up two other times since then.
Speaker 1: But it's always been when you know you shouldn't, and
Speaker 1: you'd go a little hard, so I shouldn't. But but
Speaker 1: that's what I miss. You miss being able to just
Speaker 1: go hard whenever you when I know I shouldn't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: when you know you should without any worries. There's something
Speaker 1: so much like I still remember like when I was
Speaker 1: a kid, like I I lived really free until my
Speaker 1: parents divorced, and I still remember like I used to
Speaker 1: not I used to sucking the head of singing. I
Speaker 1: would sing, I would do like those things you can
Speaker 1: go back to. Yeah, but that's why I always tall smokers.
Speaker 1: When they're like, I'm a smoker, it's like there was
Speaker 1: a time where you weren't a smoker. You can go
Speaker 1: back to that. The same way that people think about death.
Speaker 1: It's like I'm scared to die, and it's like, what
Speaker 1: were you before you were born? That's what's gonna happen again.
Speaker 1: You've already done it. It's just gonna go back to
Speaker 1: a thing. You can always go back to the way
Speaker 1: it was. And I think that that's the beauty and
Speaker 1: growing older is that you kind of revert back to
Speaker 1: being a kid and your parents kind of like die.
Speaker 1: You stop used to get your own family, stopped looking
Speaker 1: to them for stuff. But I missed I missed the
Speaker 1: days when I didn't um count calories or look at
Speaker 1: food is bad or good? Those that's what the day.
Speaker 1: The day where a change because I remember the day
Speaker 1: because my parents divorced. I kind of ever, you know,
Speaker 1: that's so interesting that one day you woke up and
Speaker 1: your life, your brain change, Well, it was, you know.
Speaker 1: It was a day where I remember Jamie Nash saying,
Speaker 1: you look so thin? What did you do? And I
Speaker 1: was like, what did I do? I remember where I
Speaker 1: was sitting and I didn't eat today because I was
Speaker 1: nervous about a boy. But I didn't know I didn't eat.
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying not to eat. And I was just like, huh,
Speaker 1: that felt really good hearing Jamie Nash, who was my
Speaker 1: favorite person, who I wanted to be more than anyone.
Speaker 1: I thought I looked cute and skinny, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, I'm worrying. You were not eating on purpose. No,
Speaker 1: it was just because a boy that I like so
Speaker 1: much liked finally was taking an interest in me, and
Speaker 1: I got so nervous that I was going to kiss him.
Speaker 1: It was my senior year. I was just like, didn't
Speaker 1: I always don't eat. I get when I get nervous,
Speaker 1: which is rarely happens now, I lose my appetite. And
Speaker 1: that day it showed up like that because compliment. And
Speaker 1: then I go, what what what else can I do?
Speaker 1: And then I started reading books and I started But
Speaker 1: I remember being in fourth grade and seeing a plate
Speaker 1: of brownies that my MoMA just cooked, and coming in
Speaker 1: from playing with my friends, it was like probably nine
Speaker 1: o'clock and way eight o'clock running in seeing the brownies
Speaker 1: having one after dinner and then one another and not
Speaker 1: doing it. Not because I wanted to lose weight. I
Speaker 1: was already skinny child, but because that's what women do.
Speaker 1: Women don't let themselves have to And I wanted to
Speaker 1: be up. I wanted to be a woman. I was
Speaker 1: remember Charlie Popistein telling me he loved me at Recess
Speaker 1: via Michael Olson. Michael Olson came up to me, was
Speaker 1: like he it was in third grade. He was a
Speaker 1: new student. I was kind of a new student. We
Speaker 1: were best friends, and he was starting to act a
Speaker 1: little weird. And then one day Michaelson was like, hey,
Speaker 1: Charlie loves you. And I thought that Michael Olson said that.
Speaker 1: Charlie said I had chubby legs. Don't ask me why,
Speaker 1: but that's what I heard. And I ran with it
Speaker 1: because I was so excited to be a woman who
Speaker 1: was like I'm fat. And I remember my uh neighbor
Speaker 1: Kate Donni Hue, coming to pick me up because she
Speaker 1: would pick up for my mom sometimes and she picked
Speaker 1: us up and I was sitting on the railroad track
Speaker 1: like tracks around the playground and I was just like
Speaker 1: crying and like trying to fake cry like a woman
Speaker 1: who feels fat does. And she was like, what's rotten, Nick,
Speaker 1: what's going on? And I was like, Michael Olson told
Speaker 1: me that Charlie bubble Side today had chubby legs. And
Speaker 1: she goes, get the funk out of here, get in
Speaker 1: the guy. She I remember her, but she didn't say fun.
Speaker 1: But she was just like, you're not getting to do that.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, damn it. I got caught.
Speaker 1: Like it was almost like I had a fake I
Speaker 1: d because I was just like the tiniest child. But
Speaker 1: I did it because I wanted to be a woman,
Speaker 1: not because I thought I was fat. I thought that's
Speaker 1: what you do when you're a woman, and that is fucked. No,
Speaker 1: what do you have? One? Um? The one that came
Speaker 1: to mind is I missed the days when I could
Speaker 1: go on like the We called it the ledge, but
Speaker 1: it was the fire escape at my best friend's house
Speaker 1: when I was a kid and we would just go
Speaker 1: down to Mr Kim's grocery store and just buy like
Speaker 1: a bunch of snacks. It would just like sit on
Speaker 1: the fire escape and just eat Mr Kim's where you hid. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: As a child, I used to love going to the sounds.
Speaker 1: So we just you know, like do you miss the friends?
Speaker 1: This was like it was I had one friend, um
Speaker 1: that I made in third grade. It was like a
Speaker 1: year into being in this country. And she was my
Speaker 1: friend until like end of high school. And and Um,
Speaker 1: I just like loved going to her house. Like her
Speaker 1: dad was a plumber and he had all these pipes
Speaker 1: everywhere and we would find like coins, so we would
Speaker 1: do like just look for money to go down and
Speaker 1: get snacks, just like sit on the fire escape. And
Speaker 1: I think I missed that because like I feel like
Speaker 1: today you couldn't do that. You know, they're like your
Speaker 1: parents would get fined or something like that. It's like,
Speaker 1: I guess I missed the days when I could be carefree,
Speaker 1: which is kind of like what you guys are seeing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like what we're all going to Let's
Speaker 1: still try to do something today that we notumber. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what she misses. Yeah, she misses being a thief
Speaker 1: of a plumber who's working hard blue collar job and
Speaker 1: I missed snacks and friends too, and you know, going
Speaker 1: in the creeks and the creeks for me where the
Speaker 1: fire escapes, like running through the creeks in my neighborhood,
Speaker 1: and like just going to places that as a kid
Speaker 1: now or as an adult, you you can't go hang
Speaker 1: out on the rooftop or like sneak out the like
Speaker 1: you can do all these things, but like we don't.
Speaker 1: So let's I don't know, I want to do something
Speaker 1: today that my intuition is telling men do because you
Speaker 1: don't do that anymore. And but don't get physically hurt.
Speaker 1: But like, let's all do something and indulge a little
Speaker 1: bit in the way it was climb a tree. I'm
Speaker 1: not high, honestly, no, I'm not even kidding, like or
Speaker 1: like little things like that. Just your mom would go,
Speaker 1: don't get off that, find a stick for yeah, make
Speaker 1: a pillow for jump on the bed. Your kids do it.
Speaker 1: Maybe your kids don't realize, like certain things that I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of kids are on their phones
Speaker 1: are playing let's do something I used to do as
Speaker 1: a kid, and see they're like, no, this is job.
Speaker 1: Like my dad would probably like twinkies and then being
Speaker 1: a coma on the couch, rub your calm on the
Speaker 1: car carpet, come on the Well, this wasn't the funniest
Speaker 1: pod that we've done, but I really am grateful that
Speaker 1: I was able to get some figure some things out,
Speaker 1: So thank you both. Final thought today, let's keep it
Speaker 1: h Let's get back to your night. Let's end it. Um. So,
Speaker 1: can I talk about that thing that happened in in
Speaker 1: Cabo that was so funny? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, please
Speaker 1: yeah that Nikky was staying at a nice hotel, uh
Speaker 1: and it had a great cool pool, but it had
Speaker 1: one of the day parties that you see in Vegas,
Speaker 1: where like people are just listen to E. D. M
Speaker 1: And fucking eating Molly and just fucking just in the
Speaker 1: pool by themselves just because feeling the beats. You know.
Speaker 1: The hotel I'm staying at was like a timeshare place
Speaker 1: for old people, and then all of a sudden they
Speaker 1: put in one of these day pool like day party clubs,
Speaker 1: and every the whole time you're there, all throughout the
Speaker 1: day on the weekend, it's like everywhere you go the
Speaker 1: walls are shaking from this. On the other side is
Speaker 1: Frank Sinatra, like all old people. I was the youngest
Speaker 1: person staying there by decades and then but everyone comes
Speaker 1: in for this, so by a hundred years, I really was.
Speaker 1: So it's so funny because you told me about and
Speaker 1: we were in Cabo. Cabo is a place where you
Speaker 1: go for bachelor parties. You go to fucking rage out,
Speaker 1: which I in my twenties. I'd be at that fucking
Speaker 1: day party, getting as drunk as possible, probably putting on
Speaker 1: another girl that you wanted to go. I just wanted
Speaker 1: to see, Yes, I just wanted to see it. One
Speaker 1: day early and I got we went back from the set. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I went to eat my lunch. I heard that Andrew
Speaker 1: and we were gonna go read by the pool, and
Speaker 1: I wrote Andrew after he dropped me off and he
Speaker 1: went back to his hotel. I go, hey, there's no
Speaker 1: reading going on because there's this fucking house party going
Speaker 1: on with like E d M music. And so I
Speaker 1: went into bed to go take my afternoon nap after
Speaker 1: scenes and he's texting me yeah and go, and he goes, um,
Speaker 1: I might come over and see that, And I was like,
Speaker 1: that's hilarious, Like, no way, did I think you would
Speaker 1: ever have the balls alone because you get really nervous
Speaker 1: around like hot young guys sometimes as I've seen, but
Speaker 1: you don't care at all. You went alone to the
Speaker 1: stay part, you drove over back to my hotel. I
Speaker 1: just had to see it. I don't know why. I
Speaker 1: just felt like I had to. Like it was people
Speaker 1: watching that I haven't seen in so long. And I decided,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to get out of bed
Speaker 1: and go to because Andrew had sold me on it,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't want to do this.
Speaker 1: I have a headache, but I got to see. This
Speaker 1: is the last weekend we're going to be in town.
Speaker 1: It was like, did I go, They go in, They
Speaker 1: they pat you down to see if your guns or
Speaker 1: knives or fucking I don't know, nerds whatever. And then
Speaker 1: I go in and it's just it's exactly what you think.
Speaker 1: It's like the Tower of Babble. It's just like he
Speaker 1: did in his own like fucking just end of the
Speaker 1: day too. I mean, this thing probably thirty and now
Speaker 1: it's three thirty. It's probably shutting down around four, So
Speaker 1: I said, I I walk in and I'm like, holy
Speaker 1: sh it is the best people watching I've seen in
Speaker 1: so long and Nikki I text, I go, you just
Speaker 1: gotta see these people, and you're like worth it, and
Speaker 1: I go send a pick and I go, I'll do
Speaker 1: you one better. I'm gonna video this whole thing. Didn't
Speaker 1: say that. He just decided to. So I was going
Speaker 1: to get a panorama. You. So he's gonna take the
Speaker 1: camera and just scan the debauchery he's watching. So I
Speaker 1: started scanning, and I'm scanning from left to right. Yes,
Speaker 1: And while I'm scanning, you know, you look inside your
Speaker 1: camera or your phone and you you and you're looking
Speaker 1: at the whole party. You're not looking at like individuals,
Speaker 1: but scanning. He perfectly lines up with this waitress who
Speaker 1: is walking the same speed that he's decided to stand with.
Speaker 1: So she you see in the video, you see her
Speaker 1: walk and then you see her slowly clock that this
Speaker 1: guy has his phone up and then you just by coincidence,
Speaker 1: he's he's going the same speed of which she's walking
Speaker 1: in the same direction, and it looks like he's filming
Speaker 1: her and you see her do like a double take.
Speaker 1: I can feel her eyes. Oh, it's so good to
Speaker 1: do it slow motion. Andrew sends me this long thing
Speaker 1: of like I was shooting this video. This all happened.
Speaker 1: He's like, she caught me and then he went in
Speaker 1: what happened? So tell us. So I shoot the video
Speaker 1: and I see her in the thing, and I don't understand.
Speaker 1: I don't think that she's looking at me because I'm
Speaker 1: looking at my phone. I'm just discon you're disconnected from
Speaker 1: things that happen when you're looking at your phone. So
Speaker 1: I see her staring at me. Are you feel invisible
Speaker 1: because you're the oldest guy. Yeah. And I'm drinking, I'm
Speaker 1: going to diet coke, wearing like overalls, like I shouldn't
Speaker 1: even be in there, like I'm sucking, like I just
Speaker 1: ship my depends, like there's no reason for me to
Speaker 1: be in there. So I'm filming her and I see
Speaker 1: her looking and then it hits me, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: She thinks I'm a creep. She thinks I'm a creep.
Speaker 1: I'm not a creep. I'm just here to people want
Speaker 1: I'm just showing my friend. Don't see the camera jostle
Speaker 1: like he got shot. And then it cuts out like
Speaker 1: Blair Witch like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm
Speaker 1: so She's like, why would you she said, let me
Speaker 1: see the let me see the video. She asked me
Speaker 1: to see the video. I go, it's fine, you'll see.
Speaker 1: Once you see the video, you'll realize it's not that
Speaker 1: big of a deal. The video couldn't be anymore so clear.
Speaker 1: So then he shows her the text exchange between him
Speaker 1: and I to prove that I had asked for a pick.
Speaker 1: Which did that suffice for her? It's suffice enough where
Speaker 1: she was actually somewhat cool about it. But like the
Speaker 1: feeling of feeling like a creep, Oh god, men, is
Speaker 1: their biggest fear as being a creep, because so many
Speaker 1: of you have creepy thoughts that I think that someone
Speaker 1: seeing inside it, even for a second or miss misidentifying
Speaker 1: you as a creep is the biggest fear. Like it's
Speaker 1: a lot of times women might feel that way when
Speaker 1: we are like for me, when someone thinks that I
Speaker 1: um that I think I'm cool or something where I'm
Speaker 1: like no, that's the opposite of what I think. Like
Speaker 1: it's just like or like if you someone thinks you
Speaker 1: stole something and I'm like no, I used to steal,
Speaker 1: like yeah, from some change from a plumber to buy
Speaker 1: some hot talkies or UT's UT's barbecue chips. Childhood is
Speaker 1: like Bronx tail. It's literally like, Hey Arnold, she was
Speaker 1: like a character on Hey Arnold. Yeah, she was just
Speaker 1: running around. Could look like a car too, character a
Speaker 1: beautiful one. No, there's so many times this week. No,
Speaker 1: it's I want to say that when you get told
Speaker 1: your Wallace and grounmet like I have, it offends you.
Speaker 1: But um, but there's so many times since we were
Speaker 1: doing the podcast and that this was not me shooting
Speaker 1: on myself. I would see your face in the screen
Speaker 1: of US three and I would think it was me
Speaker 1: for a second because it's we have the same like
Speaker 1: kind of makeup style and hair, and you're wearing some
Speaker 1: of my clothes, and I would think for a second,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I look great today, and then that
Speaker 1: second later it would be like, oh, that's Noah, and
Speaker 1: then I would go, wait, no, you look great too.
Speaker 1: But it was like there was always this like oh wow,
Speaker 1: and like I thought there, um, so I just want
Speaker 1: to tell you that you're pretty thank you. That's so sweet,
Speaker 1: and you're you're really great at your job, and I'm adorable.
Speaker 1: And Andrew is actually not actually funny. He's just funny
Speaker 1: and smart. Nice save al right, guys, we gotta go. Yes,
Speaker 1: and some art very smart. Thank you guys for listening. Um,
Speaker 1: we'll have a fun show tomorrow to round it out.
Speaker 1: We'll keep it really light and giggly. Thank you for
Speaker 1: being there for us and being fans. And I love
Speaker 1: you so much. Don't be cooled out there. And Chiack
Speaker 1: Nicholas