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Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazers Here, Nicky, Hello here, I am welcome.

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Speaker 1: It's the Nicky Glazer Podcast. We're back in St. Louis, Missouri. Well,

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Speaker 1: Noah is in Arizona, but Andrew and I are back

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Speaker 1: in the Loo. No one really calls it that, do

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Speaker 1: they know? Um, Nelly did? I'm from the Loop and

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Speaker 1: I'm proud that the first time you ever heard it?

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Speaker 1: I think so. Yeah, I think Kirkwood High School. No, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't think it was. But maybe I wasn't really aware.

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Speaker 1: I didn't have a lot of like hometown pride back

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Speaker 1: when I was a teen, you know, like you're just

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Speaker 1: like everywhere, like like everywhere's better than here, like you

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Speaker 1: just want to get out. I wasn't like St. Louis

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Speaker 1: is the best, but I wasn't like small Pound. No, No, St.

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Speaker 1: Louis is the I think it's the most populous city

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Speaker 1: of six that's pretty up there. Yeah it is, um

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Speaker 1: And I feel like I traveled enough as a child

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Speaker 1: that I saw like, oh this is I didn't feel

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Speaker 1: like you know, when people hear Missouri, they think it's

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Speaker 1: like farmland, which a lot of it is. But um no.

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Speaker 1: But in regards that you said you wanted to get out,

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Speaker 1: That's why, because I just wanted to like be, I

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Speaker 1: wanted to do like Felicity and like go to New

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Speaker 1: York and like there's there's bigger things out there, Like

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Speaker 1: I just I just wanted to do something. I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to be. Like that was my way of like rebelling,

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Speaker 1: even though there's no rebellion. There are things you know

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Speaker 1: about St. Louis that like three things and no one

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Speaker 1: would know being from here. Like, um, I I say

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Speaker 1: that saying that I could live in a place for

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Speaker 1: thirty years and no less than someone that just does

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Speaker 1: want tour. Well, I feel like there's nothing that I

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Speaker 1: know like historically that is that my dad could like

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Speaker 1: really I think St. Louis? Yeah, yeah, like a guy,

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Speaker 1: what's the story. I don't know my grant grandfather's name.

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to know the history of St. Louis.

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Speaker 1: I know Lewis and Clark came through here. Oh is

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Speaker 1: that the Lewis I know that. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: literally don't know anything about St. Louis at all, about

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Speaker 1: the founding of it. I don't know when where I'm

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Speaker 1: from Missouri was made into a state. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it was part of the Louisiana purchase. I don't

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Speaker 1: know anything. It's so embarrassing Missouri part of the South

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Speaker 1: or the north. It's like in the middle. It's the Midwest.

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Speaker 1: It's not the South. Even though if you get into

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Speaker 1: the bootheel, which I think that you assumed we were

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Speaker 1: in prior to like a week ago, that's when you're

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Speaker 1: getting down to Arkansas. Arkansas's house. Yeah, how is it

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Speaker 1: being back for you? What? Just the last day? It

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Speaker 1: was good? Yeah, I mean we got in last night

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Speaker 1: at like eight or nine o'clock the l Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: mean it was a long day travel. I was pretty

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Speaker 1: You know when you get off a plane and you're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm whine a week. I'm like with it, but then

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Speaker 1: you're kind of also out of it at the same time,

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Speaker 1: like you're tired or didn't you even know. I think

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Speaker 1: that's kind of what I was. But had Brandon picked

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Speaker 1: me up, it is nice. We uh had some Thai

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Speaker 1: food when I got back waiting for me, which is nice, unreal,

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Speaker 1: and then we took a shower. Dude, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what your water pressure situation was in Mexico. The water

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Speaker 1: pressure of this building is fantastic. Yeah, they're wasting a

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Speaker 1: lot of while it's great. Yeah, I want a waterfall.

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Speaker 1: I want fucking Niagara, just come in, yes, very much.

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Speaker 1: I didn't really like a three spouts. Yes, you know

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Speaker 1: you could change it on the think yeah, but just

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Speaker 1: it gets worse. You think it's like on the worst

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Speaker 1: setting already, and then you twist it and it's like,

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Speaker 1: oh this it's I guess I should have appreciated what

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Speaker 1: I had. But then you go back and it's not

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Speaker 1: the same. No, it's not. It's never the same. So

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Speaker 1: I was on that three clicks where I thought it

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Speaker 1: was better hour together. That was like the you ate

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Speaker 1: and then you took a shower together. She uh. We

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Speaker 1: did this thing where we um, what's the bathrub the whatever,

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Speaker 1: like the kind of like a loof of but it

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Speaker 1: has like little exfolians in it. And we did that

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Speaker 1: to each other's backs, and it's just like a nice

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Speaker 1: thing because you don't wash your I don't wash my back.

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Speaker 1: I haven't watched I don't think I've ever washed my back.

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Speaker 1: It's not getting washed. No, I don't even know. My

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Speaker 1: legs don't get washed unless I shave them. And that's

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Speaker 1: just because I squeegee them with the um or I'm

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Speaker 1: getting spray tand off. But I don't ever wash my

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Speaker 1: legs or I don't wash my feet either. Well, they

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Speaker 1: make that thing for your back, Yeah, I bought a

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Speaker 1: lot of those. People do, like dry scrubs. People's the

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Speaker 1: amount of time people spend on things that Like when

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Speaker 1: I start getting on TikTok, that's where I start going,

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Speaker 1: I'm out because I start thinking I'm not a good

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Speaker 1: enough woman. I'm not like I don't care about like

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Speaker 1: essential oils. I don't care about exfoliating. I don't do

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Speaker 1: all those things that I'm supposed to do. I was

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Speaker 1: supposed to have a I bought like a brush that

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Speaker 1: are you're supposed to do like a dry brush first

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Speaker 1: and scrape all the skins, wire your skins dry. No,

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Speaker 1: what do you do all that stuff? Do you do

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Speaker 1: a dry brush? Um? I just recently started doing one.

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Speaker 1: But it's more for like circulation. Okay, yeah that's what

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Speaker 1: they say too. So what's your shower routine? Like, how

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Speaker 1: do you like prepare your let's talk about body. Let's

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Speaker 1: like go away from face because that's a whole difference.

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Speaker 1: You know, I do wash my back. I remember from

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Speaker 1: the U Up days, Anya was like perplexed that you

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Speaker 1: don't wash your legs, and I was like, do I

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Speaker 1: wash my legs? So I always pay attention to just

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Speaker 1: like wash everything ever since that show. Yeah, I'm just

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Speaker 1: do pits um pussy ass crack and that's all I do. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: all the pitch of my body, I just get those

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Speaker 1: because those are the smelly places the rest of my

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Speaker 1: my skin. Like it doesn't I don't know. I just

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Speaker 1: don't feel like watching anything like that. It proves my

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Speaker 1: back doesn't stinct, like fucking dogshit. Maybe I get it

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Speaker 1: from the soap from washing. I feel like if I

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Speaker 1: didn't have all the rundown from the shampoo and the

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Speaker 1: condition and everything. And also shaving my legs does feel

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Speaker 1: squeegee esque where you like you put on I put

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Speaker 1: on conditioner just because it's like sometimes I run out

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Speaker 1: of body wash and I just that is a continual

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Speaker 1: thing that I forget and forget and forget to replenish.

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Speaker 1: How important is water pressure? Do you you really get

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Speaker 1: upset if it's too strong because you think it's absolutely

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Speaker 1: I do well. I take really quick showers. I get

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Speaker 1: upset just because I know that everyone else is really

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Speaker 1: wasting so much water in here because I know how

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Speaker 1: long men shower to like someone that it gets recycled,

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Speaker 1: that it doesn't matter. I don't know that that's true,

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Speaker 1: but you can tell yourself that. But yeah, water pressure

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Speaker 1: is so important. I'm always grateful for it when it's ridiculous,

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Speaker 1: but I like it, was so happy when I got

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Speaker 1: into it. Yeah, like New York, when I would go, yeah, sorry,

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Speaker 1: is it important to you if it's um if the

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Speaker 1: like shower head is just a head, or do you

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Speaker 1: need like with the with the cord. No, I've never

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Speaker 1: used a chord, and I think that's where we're talking

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Speaker 1: about getting the back real good if you have a chord.

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Speaker 1: I would also say the cord with like women being like,

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Speaker 1: I don't need a man, I've got this. Well, I

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Speaker 1: can't understand how that could be. Yeah, like a cod.

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Speaker 1: I I it's necessary to have the handheld one with

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Speaker 1: the cord because I can't get my undercarriage otherwise I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's not clean. Well, I just go and

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Speaker 1: then I like cut water and I go like I

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Speaker 1: bring the water to my vagina. I use that thing

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Speaker 1: as a mike before and done like an hour set

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Speaker 1: and yeah, you killed, I wouldn't say I killed. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know there's a lot of pressure in there. Yeah, dude,

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you. I would go to New York and

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Speaker 1: when I would look at apartment, my first thing I

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Speaker 1: would do is run in the bathroom, and the real

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Speaker 1: estate agent would always look at me like weird a

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Speaker 1: little bit, and I'm like, this is the most this

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Speaker 1: is top three, the most important thing. We look for

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Speaker 1: the mic thing. Oh no, no, no, oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's so important if it got hot right away. I

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Speaker 1: did that on this on this apartment, for sure. I

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Speaker 1: ran it, and I remember, yeah, the real estate agent

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Speaker 1: kind of being like, what are you doing? It's like

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Speaker 1: that is so crucial. That's that's more crucial than like

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Speaker 1: staying at a place to see if there's planes flaying

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Speaker 1: overhead are going to wake you up all night or

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Speaker 1: some kind of train going by, because that's I can

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Speaker 1: always get white noise, but I can't get white water.

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Speaker 1: I want white I want I want to feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm going like standing under Niagara falls from pressure. It

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Speaker 1: feels great. Head. That's what I want. Yeah, so you

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Speaker 1: got in the shower, you did a scrub down, nice

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Speaker 1: scrub and then um what we then we got in bed.

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Speaker 1: I mean you start making love in the shower or

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Speaker 1: you does it happen before? Now? We we we did

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Speaker 1: the bed, we made love, but after you but I

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Speaker 1: was tired. I was tired. I wish I was like

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Speaker 1: I wanted to fucking be rabbiged. Sometimes I want to

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Speaker 1: just ravish, you know. But my body's like, huh, I

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Speaker 1: think you us combined radish and rabbage. Yeah, which word

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Speaker 1: is it? Ravage? And you said ravish like it's yeah,

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Speaker 1: you'll hear that for sure. Ye want to hear him

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Speaker 1: say it again if you want to hear exactly what

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Speaker 1: you said. Sometimes you do want to wrap radish ravish

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Speaker 1: a radish sometimes radishes with a little salt on them.

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Speaker 1: And like we used to make this thing called garbage.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why we called a garbage. But every

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Speaker 1: Sunday when there was golf on, and we would go

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Speaker 1: for like a family hike and then we'd come back

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Speaker 1: and leave. My parents would watch golf, which it's just

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Speaker 1: very calming just to hear golf in the background, and

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Speaker 1: I could just sit and kind of like binge on this.

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Speaker 1: Like we would cut up radishes, green onions, carrots and celery,

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Speaker 1: and you put in a big bowl of with water

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Speaker 1: and you put a bunch of ice in it, so

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Speaker 1: it's like ice cold all these veggies. And then you

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Speaker 1: do a plate and you put salt on the plate

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Speaker 1: and you take it out and you just swirl it

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Speaker 1: on the plate and just eat. We called it garbage.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what what why. That was no dip

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Speaker 1: that we weren't like trying to diet or anything either,

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Speaker 1: Like let me be clear, like this is a family

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Speaker 1: that was not that way at all. But that was

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Speaker 1: just a thing we did where and I would hear

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Speaker 1: just golf tones on TV and he's chipping and golfing

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Speaker 1: was associating, and then all of a sudden, two hours

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Speaker 1: later it would be tonight on sixty minutes, I'm Leslie Stall,

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Speaker 1: I'm Marley Safer, and then it would be like fuck, homework,

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Speaker 1: got gotta go to school tomorrow. That was kind of

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Speaker 1: the Sunday yeah, yeah minutes. The guy with the eyebrows,

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Speaker 1: he was I always say that I have uh, oh

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Speaker 1: you mean Andy Rooney. Yeah. See what I don't understand

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Speaker 1: is air ports. And he was the first like kind

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Speaker 1: of disgruntled comic. Oh my god, speaking of this just

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Speaker 1: reminded me of what I wanted to remember last week

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Speaker 1: where I totally lost my train of thought on the

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Speaker 1: show we're talking about, I think we're probably talking about

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Speaker 1: Ukraine or just like people like making things about themselves.

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Speaker 1: I loved this one post that you sent me of

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Speaker 1: someone who was like calling out comedians. There's a lot

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Speaker 1: of that's going on right now on TikTok and Instagram

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Speaker 1: reels of people making fun of celebrities for doing things

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Speaker 1: to make Ukraine about themselves because they're like, oh fuck,

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Speaker 1: I can't I can't post about myself. Like so there's

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Speaker 1: soho there. You know, there's just a bunch of videos

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Speaker 1: mocking celebrities about how they're gonna make it about themselves

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Speaker 1: and like like acting like they're tearing up and all

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Speaker 1: the stuff. I just want to say, as a creative

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Speaker 1: person who often writes jokes that are is mocking other people,

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Speaker 1: I want to say a lot of times that thing

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Speaker 1: that you're mocking, you think of it because you are

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Speaker 1: the thing. So like you sent me an example of

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Speaker 1: someone that was like, sorry, comedians, not gonna be able

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Speaker 1: to make this about yourself? Today, ha sucks something like

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Speaker 1: that some edgy fucking tweet And I knew instantly it

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Speaker 1: was No, it sounded like using tweet, this freaking tweet

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Speaker 1: over here. Yeah, this fucking edgy tweet. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: that is it almost does sound like a derogatory term.

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Speaker 1: So this edgy tweeter, he is, like, you know, doing

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Speaker 1: calling up comics. I know the genesis of that observation.

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Speaker 1: He woke up that day wanting to post something about

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Speaker 1: himself and he couldn't, and he thought, it sucks, I

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Speaker 1: can't post about myself today. He then felt the embarrassment

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Speaker 1: of having that thought and decided to project it onto others.

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Speaker 1: So I just want to say that when you thy

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Speaker 1: doth protest too much or whatever the sake experience Slash

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Speaker 1: Taylor swift lyrics. Thing is takes a test. I think

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Speaker 1: it's what's the word takes a test? No, I like

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Speaker 1: that aof takes a test? If like, that's when someone

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Speaker 1: that's called productive will say that when it's projecting. Now,

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Speaker 1: adof takes a test. It's like, it's because to do that,

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Speaker 1: because I've seen you do. I've seen your like I

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Speaker 1: sometimes try to trace your mind and how you get

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Speaker 1: to things. And sometimes I'll be like, because I will

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Speaker 1: do it, I will write a joke calling out some

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Speaker 1: behavior that I'm like, I do that, And for instance,

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Speaker 1: um models who pretend to eat on camera, or like

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Speaker 1: I love pizza and I did a joke about it

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Speaker 1: where they like take a bite and they say refreshing,

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Speaker 1: and You're like, have you never eaten pizza? That's because

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Speaker 1: I used to be antorexic and not want to eat

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Speaker 1: things on camera, and I used to be fucking like

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Speaker 1: losing my mind about how am I going to do this,

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Speaker 1: and like I would always want to just I was

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Speaker 1: scared to have to eat on camera, Like it came

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Speaker 1: from me being that. Yeah, like me making fun of

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Speaker 1: edgy comedians part of me. I don't want to go

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Speaker 1: as far as like what my edge character is, but

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Speaker 1: I do think sometimes I will maybe hold back and

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Speaker 1: I'm there might be a jealousy of their freedom of

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Speaker 1: going where they go. But when some of them I

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Speaker 1: feel like, do it in a way that's still intelligent

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Speaker 1: and like not just shocking but actually very funny still,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes I feel like maybe because I feel it's

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Speaker 1: like an easy way out and they get to do

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Speaker 1: that and you don't get to let's mock it. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like I've been doing. I've just like I gotta

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Speaker 1: get back into like being a more mindful and like

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Speaker 1: less egotistical. Like I've been just kind of like in

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Speaker 1: this ugly state of mind of just hating things and

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Speaker 1: judging them and being like and it's all if I

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Speaker 1: liked myself and felt confident I don't care about anyone else.

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Speaker 1: I really you don't have every wrong with anyone else.

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Speaker 1: Last night I received some like just some like light

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Speaker 1: concern or like just checking in on like hey, like

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Speaker 1: with this music thing you're doing, like I just want

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Speaker 1: to make sure like you're not like you gotta you

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Speaker 1: gotta work really hard at this before you like release stuff.

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Speaker 1: And I like got so defensive of like, of course

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Speaker 1: I know that I'm not going to release stuff, but

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Speaker 1: I caveat everything that I do music wise with I

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Speaker 1: suck so much. And I know that and any besties

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Speaker 1: that's listening right now that's ever seen me on Instagram

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Speaker 1: live knows that it is crutched and book ended to

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Speaker 1: the point where people are like stop saying that it's

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Speaker 1: so funny because people either say you're stating on yourself,

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Speaker 1: just do it, or they go, God, she thinks she's

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Speaker 1: so good, so you can't really win. So you're not

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Speaker 1: supposed to ever disparage yourself because you're supposed to like

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Speaker 1: be you. But then the second you do or the

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Speaker 1: second you don't, and you're like, hey, I think I

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Speaker 1: sound good, people are like, hey, you know you don't

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Speaker 1: sound good, right, like, don't put this out. And I'm

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Speaker 1: struggling with like the fact that I creating music and

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Speaker 1: I want to share it with not the world and

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Speaker 1: be like this is my opus and I'm done and

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Speaker 1: I'm as good as Taylor Swift and sign me up

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Speaker 1: for a Grammy. I I'm doing everything from like I'm

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Speaker 1: a twelve year old that just started like I'm I'm

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Speaker 1: eighteen year old, Nikki Glazer just started doing comedy like

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Speaker 1: judge me against one year doing this and um, and

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Speaker 1: I was getting so defensive and I just was in

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Speaker 1: this loop of arguing like someone it was like someone

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Speaker 1: in my like a close like family, and I was

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Speaker 1: just couldn't stop like just being like but I want

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Speaker 1: you to know that, I know that, and it was

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Speaker 1: just never going anywhere. And then I just for a second,

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Speaker 1: I'm reading this book called The pers The Pursuit of

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Speaker 1: Happiness or the Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, wait a second, let me just

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Speaker 1: take my ego out of this and see what it

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Speaker 1: looks like like, let me just do an experience. Um.

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Speaker 1: She was like talking to me about like what her

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Speaker 1: perception of me doing music was in trying to explain

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Speaker 1: her side of things, and while she was talking, I

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Speaker 1: just kind of drifted off and was like, what is

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Speaker 1: this conversation with not my ego, not involved, with me

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Speaker 1: not being like but I want her to understand that

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Speaker 1: I'm not this without me being like, what are people

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Speaker 1: going to say? And honestly, the conversation is mood. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't matter because what she was coming with of I'm

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Speaker 1: worried about people thinking one thing about you when you've

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Speaker 1: just like it's kind of my mom's concern of when

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Speaker 1: I was in the Gay Straight Alliance in high school

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Speaker 1: and she was like, people are gonna think you're gay,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, but and I almost wanted. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be gay in high school because I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be something that my mom would be like I could

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Speaker 1: prove that she didn't want me to do this thing

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Speaker 1: that's just who I am, you know, like it just

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Speaker 1: because when you're gay. I knew that it was just

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Speaker 1: who you are, and I knew that she would have

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Speaker 1: a problem with it, but she always said her problem

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Speaker 1: was I don't want other people be judging you, which

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Speaker 1: is a lot of parents who accept their gay kids

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Speaker 1: say that. But that bothered me because it was always like, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm but this person was explaining to me, Nikki, I

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Speaker 1: just want to protect I don't if you want to

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Speaker 1: do what you do and not care what people say.

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Speaker 1: I don't care what people say about you. I know

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Speaker 1: where you're coming from with this. I don't want I

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Speaker 1: know how sensitive you are when people talk about you.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to have to. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: see you go through the pain of people misinterpreting what

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Speaker 1: you're doing and thinking you think you're cool or whatever.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, if I take my that's

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Speaker 1: all their ego, that's all they're like worrying about me.

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Speaker 1: Like they're worrying about me is not even my issue,

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Speaker 1: Like you know, if you take your ego out of things,

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Speaker 1: which is just this new experiment I'm doing, because the

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Speaker 1: ego is hard to even understand what it is. It's

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Speaker 1: just a sense of self. It's just thinking that you're

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Speaker 1: an individual who when you're not. Really you're just a

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Speaker 1: big mass of cells that's gonna die someday. Sorry. And

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Speaker 1: you may have a soul, but yourself is just a

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Speaker 1: it's just an illusion. And so when you take that

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Speaker 1: away and you go, what what would I feel right

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Speaker 1: now if I didn't if I really if there was

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Speaker 1: no ache in this for me of what people thought,

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Speaker 1: what would I do? How would I act? And it's

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Speaker 1: like I don't know. It was almost like an exorcism,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, this conversation is over. This is

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Speaker 1: all about my ego. I'm being sensitive because I want

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Speaker 1: people to be nice to me, but I also want

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Speaker 1: them to understand that I don't think I'm cool and

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Speaker 1: I it's just all it's all ego, and I really

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Speaker 1: want to free myself of that because it's just in

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Speaker 1: the argument we've ever gotten. In the second you and

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Speaker 1: I just say, would set aside our egos, it would

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Speaker 1: be done. It would be done. It literally it makes

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Speaker 1: everything cease to any argument cease to exist. Putin fucking Trump,

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Speaker 1: anyone who argues with anything. It's all about ego. You're

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Speaker 1: taking from me, You're making me look bad, And it's like,

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Speaker 1: but if you like yourself, no one can make you

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Speaker 1: look bad. I guess the flip side of that is like,

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Speaker 1: can ego protect you from, like I don't know, putting

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Speaker 1: out things like for me, like sometimes I don't have

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Speaker 1: any egos, so I'll just put out anything, you know,

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00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: So like I guess the flip side of that is

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Speaker 1: like do I put out ship when it's not good

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Speaker 1: enough to where I could even make it? Because I

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Speaker 1: have no ego in regards to that. Like there's a

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Speaker 1: line I think between right, like where I get mad

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Speaker 1: at you're putting something out too soon, where I'm like, oh,

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00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 1: if you just like tweaked a little bit, it would

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00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,720
Speaker 1: be amazing, and you're just rushing it. So maybe have

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Speaker 1: a little bit more ego of thinking what people are

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Speaker 1: gonna think. That's interesting. So but my point like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: so with your music, it's like also it's like people

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Speaker 1: are putting doing something outside of whatever their thing is,

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Speaker 1: their fear of that. Yes, they're putting that on you,

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00:20:43,040 --> 00:20:45,639
Speaker 1: on you and if you don't because last night I

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00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,920
Speaker 1: was telling her, I was like, I'm okay, people can

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Speaker 1: say Nikki think she's sweets, she thinks she sounds good.

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Speaker 1: I know that. I don't. I know that I think

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Speaker 1: I sound good for a year. And I think that's

401
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 1: getting ahead of it though, too, where it's like, I

402
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,640
Speaker 1: don't think you think you know. I think I think

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Speaker 1: I sound good for a year in I do, I

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00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,679
Speaker 1: think I have a lot of promise. If I was

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Speaker 1: a twelve year old girl that had as much, that

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Speaker 1: was playing guitar for a year and was singing the

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00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,960
Speaker 1: way I do, I would say you have a future

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Speaker 1: in this, girl, Like if you really work hard, you

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Speaker 1: have a future in this. As a thirty seven year

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Speaker 1: old woman, there's no one like everyone who listens to

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Speaker 1: me is going to compare me to another thirty seven

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Speaker 1: year old woman who's been doing music, because people don't

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Speaker 1: start things like this when they're thirty seven, so there's

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Speaker 1: no context for it. And that's why I continue to

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Speaker 1: contextualize it every time I present it, so that people

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Speaker 1: know I don't want you to compare me to Taylor

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Speaker 1: Swift or fucking uh anyone. I have a lot to

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Speaker 1: say about this. Let me just we'll come back, and

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00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: I want to talk about ego when I come back.

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00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 1: We'll get to that as well, but I want to

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00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 1: talk about ego. I had a realization recently. Let's go

422
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 1: to break. What I'm saying is that I for music.

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Speaker 1: I struggle and know what, maybe I like your insight

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00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 1: on this too. I'm struggling with when I so, my

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00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 1: my friend was telling me, like this family friend was

426
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 1: like of concern about me looking stupid with my music

427
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,760
Speaker 1: or me me feeling stupid. They don't think I look stupid.

428
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,399
Speaker 1: They're worried that people are gonna say mean things like

429
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 1: they did it with the Bob Saggett thing. And she

430
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 1: saw how that made me sad, like how they like

431
00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: made fun of me and made me a little sad

432
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 1: and angry and want to act out and respond to it.

433
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,200
Speaker 1: And she just didn't like seeing that it made me sad.

434
00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,479
Speaker 1: And so she's looking out for me in the future

435
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: if I ever released something to get ahead of that.

436
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,240
Speaker 1: And I've just you know, received a bunch of tracks

437
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,959
Speaker 1: that I recorded in January with Onion Matt that I

438
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 1: worked like a week on and it was just for fun.

439
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:40,920
Speaker 1: I even made sure that they knew I was maybe

440
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,639
Speaker 1: never going to release these because I just want to

441
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,600
Speaker 1: see what happens. And the thing I'm struggling with is

442
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,239
Speaker 1: when I started and stand up, because she was telling me, well,

443
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:53,439
Speaker 1: when you started stand up, you weren't like putting this

444
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:55,640
Speaker 1: stuff out there all the time. And to be honest

445
00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 1: with you, when I started in stand up, I was

446
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 1: not like other stand ups and I'm I'm gonna say

447
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:03,000
Speaker 1: I was. I've never met another stand up that was

448
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,600
Speaker 1: like me and did not accept guest sets early on,

449
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:10,720
Speaker 1: never asked people to come see her, never asked friends

450
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 1: to come see her, would never put a clip online,

451
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:16,399
Speaker 1: wouldn't dare like, wouldn't audition for things because I didn't

452
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: think I was good because I knew it takes seven

453
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,680
Speaker 1: years to get good. I read the books, I listened

454
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: to the podcast. I knew the rules. No one's going

455
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: to avoid that. But then I auditioned for Last Comic

456
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 1: Standing because and I know this sounds like yeah right, people,

457
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 1: I wanted to go on a trip with my friends.

458
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,760
Speaker 1: They got a van we're gonna go to and all

459
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:37,800
Speaker 1: I wanted was to audition because I had been doing

460
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 1: it a year and a half and I wanted them

461
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,840
Speaker 1: to say, you show a lot of promise, but you're

462
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,400
Speaker 1: too young, because I knew there's no way I should

463
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 1: belong on Last Comic Standing, but I didn't. You could

464
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 1: ask any of the guys I went with. I did

465
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,080
Speaker 1: not want audition. I fought it. There were guys that,

466
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: you know, along my career, I got asked to do

467
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 1: guest sets for so many headliners who probably did want

468
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,960
Speaker 1: to bang me, but also did think I was funny.

469
00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 1: And I turned down guest sets all the time, which

470
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,440
Speaker 1: is unheard of. But and it's not a good thing.

471
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that's a good thing. I've just always

472
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: felt I wasn't good enough until I just wait, and

473
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 1: when I remember when I got Last Coming Standing. When

474
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: I got I went, I auditioned. I got a little

475
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: cocky on stage because I did have a good set.

476
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,959
Speaker 1: I heard the two judges go, Nikki, you're good, but

477
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: you're just not ready for this show. And I lied

478
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 1: about I said I doing two years, I'd been doing

479
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:27,960
Speaker 1: it one and they're like, it's just not long enough.

480
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:29,639
Speaker 1: And I was walking off the stage and one of

481
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 1: the other judges said to the other man, I really

482
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:33,880
Speaker 1: like her, and the other one goes, well, I could

483
00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: be convinced, and I ran back on stage, and I said,

484
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,439
Speaker 1: can I do one more joke? Because the truth was,

485
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,360
Speaker 1: I didn't get all my jokes in, and I knew

486
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:41,919
Speaker 1: I had one joke, and I know it would be

487
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,480
Speaker 1: a funny. I don't know what. So I did get

488
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,320
Speaker 1: cocky in that one moment and I went back up

489
00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:47,879
Speaker 1: and I went and made it to the night show.

490
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,359
Speaker 1: Then at the night show, I probably told the story before,

491
00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:53,919
Speaker 1: but it's worth repeating because it's fucking insane. I go

492
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 1: to the night show. I am so everyone that waited

493
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,760
Speaker 1: in line in Chicago in two thousand six, you know,

494
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,359
Speaker 1: hundreds of comedians, if not thousands. The night show was

495
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: just thirty thirty and none of the guys that I

496
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 1: went in my van with who would were always all

497
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 1: better than me at that time, without question, they none

498
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,080
Speaker 1: of them made it. Maybe one did, and we all

499
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: go to the night show and then only three people

500
00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 1: are chosen, and it's me, John Roy and Jerry d

501
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,480
Speaker 1: And on the night show was Jimmy Parto, who was

502
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 1: like they were following him around with cameras all day

503
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:27,919
Speaker 1: all night, like he was clearly the one that they

504
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,840
Speaker 1: were like, he's the big guy. And Jimmy Parto was

505
00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,120
Speaker 1: one of the funniest people that's ever existed, and it

506
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,479
Speaker 1: was so at this time, like I've been doing comedy

507
00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: for probably fifteen years at that point, and it was

508
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,080
Speaker 1: so fucking embarrassing because I knew I sucked and I

509
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:46,239
Speaker 1: was getting ahead of Jimmy Parto, Like there's it's not

510
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,120
Speaker 1: like I was. I was good for how long I've

511
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:49,679
Speaker 1: been doing it, But that's not what that shows about.

512
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 1: It's not like American you know, like last comics standing

513
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: who's been who's good for how long they've been doing it?

514
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 1: And I remember, though, when I got the ticket to

515
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 1: go to California to be like you're into Hollywood. Oh

516
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,360
Speaker 1: my god, it was so awkward. That's a whole other

517
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:07,440
Speaker 1: story I'm saving for my book of like that night

518
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 1: and how embarrassing it was to go upstairs and see

519
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:12,440
Speaker 1: everyone that didn't make it and they saw this girl

520
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,640
Speaker 1: who's been doing it a year, who clearly sucked, didn't

521
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 1: even know how to stay in the spotlight on stage,

522
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:21,240
Speaker 1: like no skills, and how embarrassing that was. And what

523
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: happened in that whole thing, which Jimmy Parter and I

524
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 1: have had like h like if I've always been a

525
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 1: huge fan of his and I was so scared of

526
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 1: him for a while because I thought he hated me

527
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,199
Speaker 1: because I got this whole thing happened backstage. But I

528
00:26:32,240 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 1: love him so so so much now um and always did. Anyway.

529
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:40,480
Speaker 1: I remember calling Tommy John again when I got back

530
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: to Ku, and I was thinking, I'm going, what, oh,

531
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:48,200
Speaker 1: what do you mean Tommy John again? If you don't

532
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: know Tommy John again is he's honestly, he's John Mullaney

533
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:56,880
Speaker 1: funny like he what he and John Mullaney at They

534
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,360
Speaker 1: were slightly had doing it, doing it probably a year

535
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 1: longer than me. And they were always the ones that

536
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,240
Speaker 1: were like Jesus Christ, this guy a Z's as he's

537
00:27:05,359 --> 00:27:07,240
Speaker 1: been doing like probably three or four years. It's got

538
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,720
Speaker 1: to be a percentage of you that thinks that you

539
00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 1: do deserve it. No, no, but here's what I think. No,

540
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 1: all I promise you. All I wanted was them to

541
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: say good job. The this is like what do you

542
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 1: want from music? But let me just finish the story.

543
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,639
Speaker 1: So Tommy John again I called. I remember I was

544
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: walking into Dylan's in Lawrence, Kansas to go get like

545
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 1: some fucking antarextic food. And I was walking in and

546
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: I was on the phone. I was like, Tommy, I

547
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 1: made it through, and he it's just so much better

548
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 1: than me at this point, and like was the guy

549
00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 1: that I wanted to be as good as. And I

550
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: remember him saying, Nikki, if I were you, I wouldn't

551
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: go You're just not like he's like, literally with my

552
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 1: set of skills, like I wouldn't. I wouldn't go to Hollywood,

553
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: like I would turn it down. It's just gonna be.

554
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 1: It's a too big of a platform, and you're too young.

555
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,560
Speaker 1: We both had a good enough self awareness, and I

556
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 1: remember just being like, but that's but do you turn

557
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,439
Speaker 1: That's why I get so mad when people are like

558
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 1: this girl keeps getting all these things, or this guy

559
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 1: gets all these things. No what, you're frozen so we

560
00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:13,159
Speaker 1: can't see you. This guy she got this stuff, And

561
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: it's like, is she supposed to turn it down? If

562
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,880
Speaker 1: the industry is handing you things even when you don't

563
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,080
Speaker 1: ask for them, are you supposed to turn it down?

564
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:24,719
Speaker 1: And so my question is is that when I'm making music,

565
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 1: there's I could go to open mics and wear a

566
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 1: wig and like go as someone else and start totally fresh.

567
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,719
Speaker 1: But when I have my best friends who have been

568
00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:38,960
Speaker 1: doing music for twenty five plus years, and they write

569
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 1: songs for me and want to go record them for me.

570
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 1: And I have the extra money and the free weekend

571
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: to go make some music in a studio even though

572
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 1: I know I'm really bad. Do I turn that down?

573
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,560
Speaker 1: And if I get a final product that sounds like wow?

574
00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,520
Speaker 1: This is like it's like painting with Monai's paints, but

575
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 1: you've just started painting. Are you supposed to go I'm

576
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: not allowed to use money his paints. I'm bad, so

577
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 1: I'm gonna use cradle crayons. Sorry, Am I supposed to

578
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:07,880
Speaker 1: turn that stuf down? And if I have those recordings

579
00:29:08,240 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: and everything except my voice sounds great, and maybe my

580
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: voice sounds c on the terms of the stuff sounding

581
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: like an a? Am I supposed to not put that

582
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: out because I haven't discovered my true voice? Or do

583
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 1: I get to put things because young comics put things

584
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,200
Speaker 1: out all the time on TikTok and get millions of views,

585
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 1: and they're at the shitty open mic. Their stage presence

586
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: is terrible, their outfit is bad, their jokes are way

587
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 1: worse than they think, and I go, oh, don't do this.

588
00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 1: This is how we're gonna remember you or do I

589
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 1: just say fucket? I think this sounds good. A couple

590
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 1: of people I ran this by sounds good enough. I'm

591
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,600
Speaker 1: trying this for the first time. I know you're gonna

592
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 1: make fun of me. Here we go. There's no way

593
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 1: for me to do this the same way I approach

594
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: stand up. Is what I'm saying. There's no grassroots for

595
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: me to do except I am. I am perfor just

596
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: for besties on my Instagram. I'm not asking like my

597
00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 1: comedy fans to like watch me. I continually tell the besties.

598
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: If anyone ever goes where's the comedy, I kicked them

599
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,560
Speaker 1: out of the room because I'm like, this is for

600
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,640
Speaker 1: people who know what I'm doing. So I just I

601
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: don't want to be that person that everyone's like Nikki's

602
00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 1: going crazy and like we need to have an intervention

603
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: that she thinks she's sweet. I just what am I

604
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 1: supposed to do with these? But I think the Bob

605
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 1: Sage song and like the idea of him dying and

606
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,440
Speaker 1: him putting out a song is a completely different thing

607
00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 1: than just like no that was that was a thing

608
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 1: that I never planned unless he died, that would have

609
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: I would have never released. I understand what I'm saying

610
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,680
Speaker 1: that people's perception right and which time over that I

611
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: don't care at all. But I'm saying, no, if if

612
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:47,120
Speaker 1: the woman is coming to you this whoever it is,

613
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 1: family friend, is comparing the two, yeah, it's a different thing.

614
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: That's my point. My point is is the Bob thing. No,

615
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: I'm talking about new recordings that like might understand. I

616
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 1: understand that, but that's not the same thing as putting

617
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 1: on after someone dies and from the outside looking in

618
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:05,720
Speaker 1: can be seen as like, what is it. I don't

619
00:31:05,800 --> 00:31:08,600
Speaker 1: understand that right because it was so let's just talk

620
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: about me with the song. I'm saying that, so put

621
00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 1: that aside. But I'm saying that's why that woman or yeah,

622
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,760
Speaker 1: I was doing that because of the hate you got

623
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 1: for that. Yes, I don't think you'll get as much

624
00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: hate if you're like, hey, here's a self recorded song

625
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 1: that I It's a two different things. But do you

626
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 1: feel that way about like doing new stuff? I do.

627
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 1: That's why I'm saying it's a new thing. So I'm saying, like, so,

628
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: you're right, like the fear that they have of me

629
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,920
Speaker 1: getting the backlash is not gonna be They're not gonna

630
00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,880
Speaker 1: get it from putting out fucking That's so funny because

631
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:40,520
Speaker 1: I thought that the backlash would be less because this

632
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 1: was motivated by a real emotion as opposed to just

633
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:47,720
Speaker 1: me being like the beach was warm on a Sunday night,

634
00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 1: like you know what I mean. I know in your

635
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 1: mind you would think you would think, oh, no, this

636
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 1: is just I'm sorry to go off. So but I'm

637
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:59,080
Speaker 1: just having trouble making having people understand. Yeah, okay, so

638
00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: please I have to I'm going to say something a

639
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: little bit different than what you're saying. And I think

640
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 1: if you approach it as this person came to me,

641
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:11,600
Speaker 1: if you just try to see it through this person's perspective,

642
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: maybe she knows that you care a lot about what

643
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 1: people think of you, and that's why she came to you. Now,

644
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,840
Speaker 1: aside from that, I think sometimes we have a tendency

645
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: to create these monsters, is what I call them, where

646
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 1: we give a lot of meaning and like a narrative

647
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 1: to something that doesn't quite exist. But maybe we just

648
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 1: give too much to it, like the negative comments and

649
00:32:38,840 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 1: all of that. I think it's it's just like a

650
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 1: monster that we create it's not an actual thing that exists.

651
00:32:47,840 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: And I would tell you to read that Feeling Good

652
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 1: book because I think you're having a lot of mental

653
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:59,560
Speaker 1: distortions about singing and what you're doing. Um is like

654
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: he has five in there, And I just looked up

655
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: mental filter, which is you pick out a negative detail

656
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 1: in any situation and dwell on it exclusively, thus perceiving

657
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:17,560
Speaker 1: that whole situation is negative. Right, So you take a

658
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 1: detail and then you blow this little balloon that was

659
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,280
Speaker 1: in a packet of balloons, and now you think all

660
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 1: of these little balloons when they come into packet are

661
00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 1: just the same size. And then you blow up one

662
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: and that's the only one you're seeing out of all

663
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: those balloons. And I think it's becoming the whole thing. Yeah,

664
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,800
Speaker 1: that's classic CBT. And there's so many apps that help you,

665
00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 1: like do this now that I get marketed all the

666
00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 1: time because they know I do this. I think you're right,

667
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 1: and then no, I think what Okay? Yeah, I was

668
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 1: gonna say one last thing. This was an article that

669
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 1: we had in the news that Andrew never got to it,

670
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:52,040
Speaker 1: and I wish that you would have seen it. Um,

671
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: it was about it, Bono said, that his stuff is

672
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: trash right, Like he says that he can't even listen

673
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: to the first like the first, like I don't know

674
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 1: how many albums that you tube put out, he said.

675
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:11,239
Speaker 1: I hated my voice, then I love my voice now

676
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 1: I can't even go back and listen to it. Yes,

677
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: and that's the way I feel about my old stand up.

678
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 1: And but I do see it, and I go, there's

679
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:22,760
Speaker 1: something there, And how cool did I get to see

680
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:26,239
Speaker 1: that my journey to becoming what I am now is

681
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: online for other people who were starting out their journeys

682
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,400
Speaker 1: to see, like, Wow, she was not as good as

683
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 1: she is now, like what I used to love looking for,

684
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 1: like Sarah Silverman young, like anyone young, because I knew

685
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,120
Speaker 1: that I shouldn't compare myself to them now even though

686
00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 1: I was doing that. I just want to say one

687
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 1: last thing, and I'm sorry to thank you so much

688
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 1: for letting me process this. I am paranoid about people,

689
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,960
Speaker 1: and this is the balloon thing. This is the cognitive distortion.

690
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 1: Ever since I was antorextic in high school and all

691
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 1: my friends stopped talking to me and everyone talked about

692
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 1: me behind my back. They went to the school, they

693
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 1: went to the counselor. I got pulled out of class,

694
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, this thing that everyone was

695
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 1: talking about and no one came to me about, which

696
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:13,359
Speaker 1: was Nikki. You're not eating. You are crazy to think

697
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: that this is like a thing that's gonna work for you.

698
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,839
Speaker 1: I eat music. Nikki is a crazy thing to think

699
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,240
Speaker 1: this is gonna work for you, much like my diet

700
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:24,360
Speaker 1: back then. And we're not gonna go to you about

701
00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 1: it because we don't want to, Like it's too embarrassing

702
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:28,840
Speaker 1: to tell you that this is what we're noticing and

703
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 1: that you're not seeing it, and you it's like we're

704
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,640
Speaker 1: like all kind of worried about you. We're gonna go

705
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 1: to the top. We're gonna come together and create an

706
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 1: intervention where you're gonna get pulled out of class and

707
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: all of us are still not going to talk to

708
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 1: you about it afterwards. We're just gonna it's gonna I'm

709
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 1: just scared that there's a thing brewing where I don't

710
00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 1: I just want to stay. I don't want to be

711
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,439
Speaker 1: one of those people in American Idol that's like Hi, Hi,

712
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: and then everyone's just like, oh, honey, as no one

713
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 1: ever told you this is horrible, but it's I don't

714
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,800
Speaker 1: worry about because there are people who really in choosing

715
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 1: a subjective Yeah. The music thing too, it's like how

716
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 1: many albums, how many artists the first album is the

717
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: best album. I mean, Bono says that about himself. Yet no, no, no.

718
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: But my point being is like it's like like number one,

719
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 1: like when these people hate their old ship, you just

720
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 1: hate your old ship because you were just tired of

721
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:33,359
Speaker 1: your old ship. Millions of people love that. Yeah, And

722
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,720
Speaker 1: I know that millions of people would like, not millions,

723
00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 1: but I know thousands of people would think the songs

724
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,960
Speaker 1: that I made are pretty damn good. Now, this girl

725
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 1: that confronted me might she is like those songs, I

726
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:46,560
Speaker 1: would never listen to them. I don't like them. They're

727
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 1: not good to me. And I said to this girl that,

728
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:50,800
Speaker 1: and she was really scared to tell me that. And

729
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 1: I'm like, she's like, you sound fine, but the songs

730
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,719
Speaker 1: are bad, like not what I would like. Yes, I

731
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 1: sent them to my family. I got this feedback. She's like,

732
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,440
Speaker 1: I just don't like these songs. And she thought that

733
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: was that. It took a really long time to get

734
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,200
Speaker 1: to that part of the conversation, she's so scared to

735
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,400
Speaker 1: tell me that, and I go, first of all, I

736
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,479
Speaker 1: didn't write them. I do. I like these songs though,

737
00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:13,120
Speaker 1: and I I'm taking about as much offense to that

738
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 1: as you telling me that you there. And my friend

739
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,040
Speaker 1: I go, you know what, that doesn't bother me at all,

740
00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 1: because guess what my favorite song you hate? And I

741
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:28,000
Speaker 1: had a prime example of one song that she like,

742
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 1: you know, a separate from me ever bringing up this

743
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: song was like, God, you know what song I fucking

744
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 1: hate that everyone loves and she said the song, and

745
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: I go, that is so ironic. That is my favorite,

746
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 1: one of my top ten favorite songs. So I don't

747
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,879
Speaker 1: care if people don't like my music. I just don't

748
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:47,719
Speaker 1: want to be a tone deaf like idiots that no

749
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: one likes it. But I do understand that, like because

750
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 1: they were like, you know, Nikki, if you put this out,

751
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 1: people are going to be like people when they think

752
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,200
Speaker 1: of you know, an adult, a thirty seven year old

753
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 1: pop star or someone who's training get into indie rock

754
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 1: or whatever you're trying to do. They think of Taylor Swift,

755
00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,280
Speaker 1: they think of Katy Perry, and they're going to compare

756
00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:08,319
Speaker 1: you to them, and I'm like, but what about Bob.

757
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 1: I'm not truing comparing myself to Bob Dylan. Their voices

758
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 1: and your voice isn't there, And I'm like, my voice

759
00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 1: is never gonna be Katy Perry's. It's never gonna be

760
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:16,839
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift's. It might be Taylor Swifts, to be honest

761
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:18,839
Speaker 1: with you, it's never gonna be Shakiras, it's never gonna

762
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:22,600
Speaker 1: be Gaga's. It's gonna be Liz Fair, It's gonna be

763
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 1: you know, uh, Bob Dylan, who doesn't sound good at all,

764
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,600
Speaker 1: and you know I don't. This person was worried that

765
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: they're gonna people are gonna compare me the Lady Gaga

766
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: and be like she can't hit Adele's notes or whatever.

767
00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:37,839
Speaker 1: It's like people, but but you're doing it again, music

768
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 1: that you enjoy that it's not adult what you're doing

769
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,520
Speaker 1: it again where you're seeing people like everybody you can't.

770
00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 1: But that's how this how this was her saying yeah,

771
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,799
Speaker 1: And I even said like yeah, so she knows that

772
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:54,839
Speaker 1: she doesn't know what someone five miles away from her,

773
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 1: who has a completely different life will think of your

774
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 1: music and how they would hear your people. They might

775
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 1: hear you as was fair, but they might also hear

776
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,040
Speaker 1: you as a lady gaga. You just don't know. Yes,

777
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 1: the other thing I mean, it's not I'm not trying

778
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,719
Speaker 1: to be a dick, but like it's like if you

779
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 1: if someone if you want someone to come up to

780
00:39:13,840 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 1: you about like your intireca like right, like you weren't

781
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: were you putting out? And it's not up to them

782
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 1: to to be Like, I don't know. What I want

783
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,080
Speaker 1: is if I play a song for someone and they're like, Nikki,

784
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 1: this is this. You have potential for a year in

785
00:39:28,600 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 1: this is good. That's all I want for a year in.

786
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,640
Speaker 1: This is definitely like where you need to be. But this,

787
00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:35,800
Speaker 1: I think you have so much. Before you put this

788
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 1: out the way that I say about pictures that you

789
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: put up, you should edit it. If I went up

790
00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,960
Speaker 1: to in high school and go, look you're skinny now,

791
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,720
Speaker 1: but if you stick with this, you could be even skinny.

792
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: That would have been cool in high school. That's a

793
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 1: different story, you know, And I just I get that.

794
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:55,040
Speaker 1: But my point being is, like, you know, I if

795
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 1: you can't like people might think that you can't take

796
00:39:57,800 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 1: criticism well because it's all, yeah, it's that. That's what

797
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,080
Speaker 1: I said. At the end of my conversation, I said, well,

798
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,319
Speaker 1: you're right, because this person was like if you get

799
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:09,359
Speaker 1: offended when people don't say the right thing or they

800
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 1: say the wrong thing, because I'm like, I don't want

801
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 1: you to go, oh my god, Nikki, you should you

802
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 1: should release this now. People are gonna lose their fucking minds.

803
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 1: I just want people to say, for a year and

804
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,040
Speaker 1: this is good. I need to contextualize it better and say, hey,

805
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,080
Speaker 1: i'm let's play the song for you. All I want

806
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 1: to know is if I'm crazy that a year in

807
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,759
Speaker 1: this is decent. That's what I wanted and I just

808
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 1: need to give that so that that person or like

809
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 1: you know, in terms of like in arexia, all I

810
00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,000
Speaker 1: wanted was something to go, hey, I'm a little bit

811
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 1: worried about you, and if we can't talk about this

812
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: in a real way and you are continuing to make excuses,

813
00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to miss Price. Well, here's like you

814
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:48,600
Speaker 1: played those two songs for me when I was in

815
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 1: that room. It was it was a bad context. That

816
00:40:52,360 --> 00:40:55,439
Speaker 1: was my bad. It was just bad timing to play them.

817
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,479
Speaker 1: We're listening to it on the phone where you can't

818
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 1: even this wasn't about that, but the way that's really

819
00:41:00,080 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 1: But I'm just saying that someone that is a friend

820
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:05,560
Speaker 1: of yours you listens to your music, who then feels like,

821
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 1: can I approach you in a way that tells you

822
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 1: that this song not it's not doing it for me?

823
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,960
Speaker 1: This song is. And I am honest with you about

824
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: your voice, like when you when the other day we

825
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,800
Speaker 1: sang the opening to your reality show, your voice sounded fantastic,

826
00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: and your voice like that it's not being utilized or

827
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,840
Speaker 1: your writing skills isn't being utilized how this song is

828
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:32,080
Speaker 1: being played. And I know that these eight or nine

829
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:33,680
Speaker 1: songs that you made that you spend time, but I

830
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: like these but no, no, no, I I like that

831
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:38,799
Speaker 1: because I know that that that was a collaborative thing.

832
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 1: So my cognitive dissidents can or my my little gymnastics

833
00:41:43,239 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 1: I can do is like, Okay, everything you had wrong

834
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 1: with it wasn't my fault, or the things you had

835
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 1: wrong with it are about me not just doing it

836
00:41:49,360 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 1: long enough. And yeah, the other day I realize getting

837
00:41:54,520 --> 00:41:58,120
Speaker 1: upset about you saying nothing was really my bad and

838
00:41:58,239 --> 00:42:02,200
Speaker 1: not contextualizing the delivery of that in the moment in

839
00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,799
Speaker 1: a way that you felt comfortable saying whatever you could say,

840
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 1: and that had nothing again, ego so wrapped up in

841
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:13,680
Speaker 1: it needed to hear just that was pretty good. That's

842
00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 1: like all I wanted. But you didn't know that's all

843
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 1: I wanted. You thought that the bar was like you

844
00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 1: had to only say nice things. Any criticism that you

845
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 1: had had to be you know, squashed, when really it

846
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 1: was open for that. And it really like, but I

847
00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: just need to set up so that people feel comfortable

848
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 1: because as a boss, as someone who is has a

849
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:34,720
Speaker 1: room of people that I'm employing, I forget that they feel.

850
00:42:35,080 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 1: And I'm someone who can who can't like just shoot

851
00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 1: from the hip and just say hurtful things or not

852
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 1: take things okay. And one my art always comes back

853
00:42:47,719 --> 00:42:49,840
Speaker 1: to me and my fucking ego. And that's why I

854
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,759
Speaker 1: had to check it. And like I realized last night

855
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:56,800
Speaker 1: because I was talking about that moment, it not. It didn't.

856
00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,239
Speaker 1: I shared that moment with um my friend end and

857
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 1: was like, oh, yeah, like there was a time I

858
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 1: played these songs and you know, Andrew didn't say literally

859
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 1: anything and that and then they said, well, if he

860
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 1: would have said something you would have said, he shouldn't

861
00:43:10,320 --> 00:43:11,880
Speaker 1: even said that, you know, would be better if he

862
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,160
Speaker 1: said nothing, and so he can't win. And I'm like,

863
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:19,240
Speaker 1: you has so fucking right. Whenever you'd say to someone,

864
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 1: whenever you say to someone like, why did they say that?

865
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:25,880
Speaker 1: And you and you have the line they could have

866
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: just said nothing, think about what nothing would feel like,

867
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,640
Speaker 1: because it did not feel good. But the truth is

868
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 1: you were not given the opportunity to say anything. You

869
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,080
Speaker 1: felt anything you said was going to be wrong, so

870
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:44,239
Speaker 1: you chose to say nothing because I didn't allow for that,

871
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 1: and it was not It was not your fault. It

872
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: was not something that I'm glad that we talked about it,

873
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,359
Speaker 1: and I felt so good as soon as like, we

874
00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 1: exchanged texts about it, and I felt so fun about it.

875
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 1: And I only brought it up later to share, like

876
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 1: what I had learned in our in my conversation and

877
00:43:59,760 --> 00:44:02,919
Speaker 1: with you is that that was my bad of not

878
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,680
Speaker 1: being the type of and I'm working on this so

879
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:09,920
Speaker 1: much of like being someone that people can be honest

880
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:13,279
Speaker 1: with and not having them fear my response because it's

881
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: just I hate people like that. Man, it sucks when

882
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:20,040
Speaker 1: you can't tell your friends how you really feel and

883
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:22,600
Speaker 1: I'm really I want to say to you and to

884
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,080
Speaker 1: like Noah, and to like any of my friends listening

885
00:44:25,200 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 1: or besties. Even I'm trying to get better with criticism

886
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: and honesty because I want to be someone who um

887
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 1: and that's why I try to apologize when I do

888
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:37,359
Speaker 1: have those like fucking flipouts where you know, when you're

889
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,439
Speaker 1: back into a corner, your fireflight response thing just comes

890
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 1: in sometimes and I just don't have a choice but

891
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,319
Speaker 1: to just get defensive, and like you know, sometimes I

892
00:44:46,400 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 1: just really don't have a choice. It's just like my

893
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,080
Speaker 1: anger takes over, you know what I'm saying, and the

894
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 1: ego and I don't have a choice, and I but

895
00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 1: I do have a choice over though is acknowledging it

896
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: as soon as I can, as soon as I have

897
00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: that fucking lush come over me of embarrassment of how

898
00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 1: I just acted, taking that moment and not sticking to

899
00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 1: it and just saying I'm embarrassed for how I just acted.

900
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,200
Speaker 1: But on the flip side, like people are aware of,

901
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:14,360
Speaker 1: like the situation like you're on a show perfect Strangers

902
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:19,080
Speaker 1: to where you're to lead actor where you have to

903
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:22,720
Speaker 1: have confidence, you have to think what you're doing, whether

904
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,239
Speaker 1: you think it's great or whatever it is, you have

905
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,840
Speaker 1: to have. You're standing in front of a hundred people,

906
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,000
Speaker 1: so you have to have false confidence. Sometimes you have

907
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,800
Speaker 1: to have that, and you have to have people around

908
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 1: you kind of lying to you and sisting you up.

909
00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:37,399
Speaker 1: But it does bring out good stuff, it really does.

910
00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 1: It does, But it can also do the we watch

911
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:43,400
Speaker 1: Kanye like, it can go out of control, Like I'm

912
00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,000
Speaker 1: mitigating against becoming a Kanye where I think everything I

913
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 1: do is fucking brilliant and everyone has to always kiss

914
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 1: my ass all the time, and then I end up

915
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 1: for getting Cootie's name at the Grammy party. But but

916
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,520
Speaker 1: on the flip side of that, the flip side of

917
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: that is you don't need to apologize for doing something

918
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 1: that you enjoy and you don't have to fucking sorry

919
00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 1: for it or feel like you have to fucking contextualize

920
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 1: it for people that don't understand. So it's about it.

921
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 1: It's the balance. But you know what it's like, It's

922
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:14,319
Speaker 1: also like, let's not make everything like grandiose. Like it's

923
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 1: just it's like you're doing something, You're doing something. I'm

924
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:18,680
Speaker 1: just doing something I enjoy and like same with you

925
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:22,239
Speaker 1: with golf, like you might feel silly if you were

926
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,480
Speaker 1: to compete or like sign up for a tournament, like

927
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 1: what am I gonna really I'm gonna do this, but

928
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,799
Speaker 1: you know what, it's fucking challenges are fun. Like Chris

929
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,400
Speaker 1: is going to play in a paddleball tournament this weekend,

930
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 1: and I'm so fucking excited that I get to go

931
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:39,080
Speaker 1: like cheer him on. And the thing, the thing that

932
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: in the end nothing matters, and this thing is it

933
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 1: is official, but it's low level. He's like, you know,

934
00:46:46,680 --> 00:46:49,800
Speaker 1: I signed in as a like whatever level. I'm probably

935
00:46:49,800 --> 00:46:52,360
Speaker 1: not even that good, but we'll see. It's just makes

936
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:55,359
Speaker 1: raising mistakes a little bit and getting thinking you might

937
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:58,439
Speaker 1: be good enough to actually compete, whether it's with music,

938
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,080
Speaker 1: whether it's with it's it's and maybe you'll fucking be

939
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: so humiliated, but at least you took a chance. Burnet Brown,

940
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 1: someone sent me this When I was talking about this

941
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:08,960
Speaker 1: very same thing about the Bob sag of things. Someone

942
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,800
Speaker 1: sent me the Burnet Brown quote of like that I

943
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:14,200
Speaker 1: saw her doing her Netflix special. I don't want I

944
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 1: don't want any criticism from people who aren't playing in

945
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 1: the same arena as me. I'm putting myself in an

946
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 1: arena of people, the people that critique me, unless you

947
00:47:23,120 --> 00:47:25,160
Speaker 1: are putting yourself out there just as much as me

948
00:47:25,480 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 1: and risking looking stupid, shut the funk up. And essentially

949
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 1: that was it, Like, I don't want criticism from people

950
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:33,799
Speaker 1: who are you know, Natasha Jerry. I posted a joke

951
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 1: of hers yesterday where she's uh in her stand up.

952
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,360
Speaker 1: She's talking about like guys nowadays are sitting on the

953
00:47:39,400 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 1: toilet going I never fuck her, I never fuck her.

954
00:47:42,840 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 1: You don't get to say whether you'd suck her because

955
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 1: you're on a toilet being a disgusting human that would

956
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,719
Speaker 1: never You're not in her league, so you don't get

957
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,680
Speaker 1: to comment on that. You can all day, but we

958
00:47:53,719 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 1: don't have to be. We don't have to have our

959
00:47:57,239 --> 00:48:00,360
Speaker 1: feelings hurt by that bullshit. And I'm really when I

960
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 1: say all this stuff, I'm let's move on to the

961
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:07,000
Speaker 1: news that all of it. I was just kidding the

962
00:48:07,040 --> 00:48:10,359
Speaker 1: whole time. Now, what can we get one news story in? Yeah?

963
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 1: What is it, Andrew? It's Wednesday, folks, you know what

964
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 1: that means. It is Wednesday. We're coming live from you

965
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: from the St. Louke. We're proud and we're having a

966
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:29,040
Speaker 1: good time. Calling asp for a second. Hope you're having

967
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,640
Speaker 1: all this. I know it's been a log show. If

968
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,160
Speaker 1: you're having all this well, because your boy is again

969
00:48:34,200 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: a little sleepy. But in morning over there with this

970
00:48:37,160 --> 00:48:40,360
Speaker 1: this this outfits cool. By the way, it was, it

971
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 1: was all on accident. I almost want you to go like,

972
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:45,400
Speaker 1: he's where you gotta watch the YouTube. We're back in

973
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:46,959
Speaker 1: the studio, by the way, So the video is gonna

974
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 1: be yeah, love. They almost look like easy. It's kind

975
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 1: of called Nike Free met Con. So the front is

976
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 1: for running. The back is still. Let's get to the news. Yeah,

977
00:48:58,800 --> 00:49:01,359
Speaker 1: it's all black, all black everything. How about I try

978
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,359
Speaker 1: No one's wearing a sweatshirt that I think you gave

979
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 1: me like two years ago that I love so cute,

980
00:49:08,239 --> 00:49:10,840
Speaker 1: love it so much, and I'm wearing a swifty sweatshirt.

981
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: How about I do the news headlines? Rapid fire. You

982
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:16,720
Speaker 1: get like one thing to say about it? Yes, okay,

983
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 1: one sentence each? Yep, all right. Pandemonium erupts at a

984
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:26,560
Speaker 1: theater as movie goer releases a bat during a screening

985
00:49:26,640 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 1: of Robert Pattison. Pattinson's new Batman film, as part of

986
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 1: a prank attempt um. That makes me so upset because

987
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,840
Speaker 1: that poor fucking bat. I wish Tiger King was a

988
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: movie because I it would be funnier to release a tiger.

989
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:43,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's okay, that's good. I was seeing Catwoman,

990
00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,960
Speaker 1: but cat I just hate any pranks involving fucking animal,

991
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 1: and especially a bat, who are there so sensitive already

992
00:49:50,160 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 1: it's gonna be good if it's man handled enough to

993
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 1: go into a movie theater. That's too much. It's too

994
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 1: much anxiety for about that's so sensitive. I know that

995
00:49:59,719 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 1: about bats well, but they a lot of luck. They

996
00:50:04,280 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 1: couldn't catch the bat, so they offered the movie goers

997
00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:11,000
Speaker 1: their money back, but they all just like most of them,

998
00:50:11,040 --> 00:50:13,120
Speaker 1: decided to stay in the theater with about to finish

999
00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:18,240
Speaker 1: the movie. That's kind of cool. I love that. Okay,

1000
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:20,359
Speaker 1: next head, well, some people are terrified about so okay,

1001
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 1: next timeline Okay, f Boy Islands. Garrett Morowski says his

1002
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:30,360
Speaker 1: passport showing Russia as his birthplace led to airport detention

1003
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 1: in Mexico. Wait, WHOA what I watched the video? What

1004
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,359
Speaker 1: is he doing? Art says, Oh, yeah, I've seen him.

1005
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:41,600
Speaker 1: He was in Mexico recently I saw him. I wonder

1006
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: why gallivanting on Instagram? Um, wait, so Garrett from so

1007
00:50:47,239 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: Garrett Garrett caused it? Caused because he had a Russian passport.

1008
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: They're like, get out of it. And he looks terrifishing,

1009
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:59,320
Speaker 1: I think his stature, but he is Russian, his origins Russian?

1010
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:03,040
Speaker 1: Exactly was he like? Didn't you talk like this when

1011
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:07,000
Speaker 1: he said it? I fucking love Garrett so much. Um. Interesting,

1012
00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:09,040
Speaker 1: you know I've heard about the Russian tea room that

1013
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:12,000
Speaker 1: it's really struggling in New York City. Everyone should support

1014
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 1: Russian restaurants around town because, let me be honest, these

1015
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 1: as you know, most Russians are not supporting this war

1016
00:51:19,239 --> 00:51:22,440
Speaker 1: and are terrified of Putin just as much as we are. Really,

1017
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 1: everyone should be supporting Russian owned businesses right now, so

1018
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:28,480
Speaker 1: much because so many people are doing the same thing

1019
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: that happened with fucking the China flu and not ordering

1020
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 1: from Chinese restaurants when COVID happened. Let's make up for

1021
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: the dumb dumbs out there and and orders Russian things,

1022
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: including Garrett Garrett, the oil and guns from Russia. Know

1023
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,280
Speaker 1: any Russian restaurant which I don't even know if Russian

1024
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 1: restaurants exists, but like any Russian business, support them right

1025
00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,480
Speaker 1: now because if they're clearly identified as Russian, people are

1026
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,640
Speaker 1: avoiding them right now to make some sort of statement.

1027
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: And immigrants that left Russia to come here, so they

1028
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 1: get it. They don't like Russia either. Yeah, don't come

1029
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,680
Speaker 1: at me. And I love I love Russians. My best

1030
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: friend's Russian. Any next story? Ready? Great, Okay, we're doing

1031
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:20,240
Speaker 1: great here. Research indicates that doing this daily habit could

1032
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 1: slash your risk of a deadly stroke by forty percent.

1033
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 1: Can you guess what it is? Um daily habit? Taking

1034
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 1: aspirin close h meditating every day, a fuck of a

1035
00:52:39,200 --> 00:52:43,760
Speaker 1: massive stroke. Yeah, and I'm getting back into it, dude,

1036
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,759
Speaker 1: I gotta get back into that, because they look at

1037
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,680
Speaker 1: people who have had massive strokes and they see whether

1038
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:52,480
Speaker 1: or not they've had they were practicing meditation, and then

1039
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,359
Speaker 1: they look at people that didn't and they look, you know,

1040
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:58,759
Speaker 1: they just look that are unhealthy, don't meditate exactly. So

1041
00:52:58,800 --> 00:53:02,280
Speaker 1: there's other factors, but but I want to say that

1042
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 1: that's pretty I've just never heard that. I've actually heard

1043
00:53:06,080 --> 00:53:08,719
Speaker 1: of bad things about meditation. Some people can get kind

1044
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 1: of a psychosis from it, so you gotta watch out.

1045
00:53:10,680 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 1: And most meditation apps and things of the sort have

1046
00:53:15,040 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 1: those kind of um, you know, uh warnings up front.

1047
00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:24,360
Speaker 1: But I'm not meditating right now, and it's definitely something

1048
00:53:24,400 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 1: that I'm getting to the point with all the things

1049
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 1: I'm talking about right now are me going like, girl,

1050
00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 1: you know what you need to do. You need to

1051
00:53:32,040 --> 00:53:35,840
Speaker 1: get back in touch with like yourself and what that means,

1052
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,880
Speaker 1: and like you need to calm down. I need to

1053
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 1: calm down and not get a massive stroke to be

1054
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 1: meditating and then feel a stroke like or anything like that.

1055
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:48,839
Speaker 1: I mean, there's some Buddhists that can they know when

1056
00:53:48,880 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 1: their heart is going to stop. Yeah, they can control

1057
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,040
Speaker 1: their heartbeats. So I guess the idea is like, if

1058
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:56,959
Speaker 1: you're that mindful that you can actually somewhat your brain

1059
00:53:57,040 --> 00:53:59,120
Speaker 1: to not have a stroke or could or just know

1060
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,360
Speaker 1: the signs of it, feel that it signs before it happens.

1061
00:54:02,400 --> 00:54:04,800
Speaker 1: But I think you're right. People that meditate are usually

1062
00:54:04,800 --> 00:54:10,160
Speaker 1: eating healthier, worried about breathing clean air, those kinds of things.

1063
00:54:11,120 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: Fuck freedom cries cries, and then be like let's go

1064
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 1: to break and come back with the game rise fried food. Alright,

1065
00:54:28,400 --> 00:54:32,239
Speaker 1: we're back. It's Wednesday, so we're doing a wild card Wednesday. Noah, Um,

1066
00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:35,800
Speaker 1: the game today is the esparrel game. Um s perel?

1067
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:39,799
Speaker 1: Where should we begin? That card? Is I like that

1068
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 1: in our text? Your text came a stair perez perez,

1069
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 1: esther parcel? Um, yes, esther perel or pure l hand sanitizer.

1070
00:54:54,040 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 1: She has a game out? Where should we begin? Good

1071
00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:58,880
Speaker 1: for conversations, just little prompts. One thing is going to

1072
00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: be the sentence we start with, and the other thing

1073
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 1: will be what the sentence or story we tell is

1074
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 1: about or like, you know, inspired by Yes, okay, So

1075
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:14,200
Speaker 1: the prompt card is share something off the record, and

1076
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:23,320
Speaker 1: then I missed the days when I could um. Okay,

1077
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,399
Speaker 1: that's great off the record, something that you probably don't

1078
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 1: normally share with people that you maybe are a little

1079
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:33,400
Speaker 1: bit closed off about. Okay, talk about I wish the

1080
00:55:33,520 --> 00:55:38,880
Speaker 1: days where I could miss the days I missed the

1081
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: days where I could um. Well, I will say this

1082
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:49,080
Speaker 1: is off the record because it's uh, it sounds like

1083
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 1: gloating when you say this, but I missed the days

1084
00:55:52,120 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: when I could begin a new hobby and like and

1085
00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:00,200
Speaker 1: do it in a way that you know I missed up.

1086
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:04,120
Speaker 1: I missed the days where, Um, I missed the days

1087
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:10,279
Speaker 1: where strangers didn't know who I was sometimes because it's

1088
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 1: it feels weird having strangers think they've got you figured

1089
00:56:13,480 --> 00:56:17,120
Speaker 1: out when you're like most people. Is that something you

1090
00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:24,440
Speaker 1: do it? Yeah, I missed the days when I could

1091
00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 1: go go about my life and and um, I'm so

1092
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 1: grateful that I'm someone that strangers know because obviously I

1093
00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:34,319
Speaker 1: have this, and but there are parts of me that

1094
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 1: missed the days when I could just do things and

1095
00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:39,400
Speaker 1: it was just my friends talking about me and at

1096
00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 1: least they know me well enough and like that they

1097
00:56:42,840 --> 00:56:46,040
Speaker 1: kind of have a right to do it, I guess. Um.

1098
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:49,400
Speaker 1: But also I don't miss those days because I'm I

1099
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 1: get so much better stuff from not from not that.

1100
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:57,319
Speaker 1: So do you have one? Um? I mean, I'm just

1101
00:56:57,440 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: thinking it's not switch off the record, but just I

1102
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:04,240
Speaker 1: literally miss the day's where I could run freely without

1103
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:07,960
Speaker 1: worrying about being hurt every three seconds. I think it's

1104
00:57:07,960 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 1: really sad that my fucking hamstring tour that one time.

1105
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 1: And I literally am like, I don't think about it

1106
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:19,000
Speaker 1: that much, but when I do up, Yeah, well I

1107
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:21,960
Speaker 1: just get sad thinking like, oh, I can't go out

1108
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:24,160
Speaker 1: and play basketball without thinking that I'm going to be

1109
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 1: like laying down on the ground fucking crying. So if

1110
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: you those things, remember, just go do them. So I

1111
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:35,040
Speaker 1: always take the stairs because old people say someday not

1112
00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:37,000
Speaker 1: for the exercise, but someday you won't be able to

1113
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: go upstairs. Just do them now why you can? And

1114
00:57:40,160 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 1: I always think about that. But I think that with

1115
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:47,080
Speaker 1: your hamstring thing, you'll absolutely you are and you're getting

1116
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:51,080
Speaker 1: back in like really good shape. You're NBA natural born athlete.

1117
00:57:51,560 --> 00:57:55,600
Speaker 1: I think that the hamstring thing, you only fucked it

1118
00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,200
Speaker 1: up last time when you were trying to impress your

1119
00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:00,760
Speaker 1: girlfriend and like it was, but funked it up playing

1120
00:58:00,760 --> 00:58:02,800
Speaker 1: foot I sucked it up two other times since then.

1121
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,680
Speaker 1: But it's always been when you know you shouldn't, and

1122
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 1: you'd go a little hard, so I shouldn't. But but

1123
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: that's what I miss. You miss being able to just

1124
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 1: go hard whenever you when I know I shouldn't. Yeah,

1125
00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 1: when you know you should without any worries. There's something

1126
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 1: so much like I still remember like when I was

1127
00:58:19,920 --> 00:58:23,000
Speaker 1: a kid, like I I lived really free until my

1128
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 1: parents divorced, and I still remember like I used to

1129
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:30,840
Speaker 1: not I used to sucking the head of singing. I

1130
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:37,000
Speaker 1: would sing, I would do like those things you can

1131
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 1: go back to. Yeah, but that's why I always tall smokers.

1132
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:41,960
Speaker 1: When they're like, I'm a smoker, it's like there was

1133
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 1: a time where you weren't a smoker. You can go

1134
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:46,400
Speaker 1: back to that. The same way that people think about death.

1135
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 1: It's like I'm scared to die, and it's like, what

1136
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 1: were you before you were born? That's what's gonna happen again.

1137
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:53,840
Speaker 1: You've already done it. It's just gonna go back to

1138
00:58:53,840 --> 00:58:55,560
Speaker 1: a thing. You can always go back to the way

1139
00:58:55,560 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 1: it was. And I think that that's the beauty and

1140
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,480
Speaker 1: growing older is that you kind of revert back to

1141
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: being a kid and your parents kind of like die.

1142
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:06,720
Speaker 1: You stop used to get your own family, stopped looking

1143
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:09,840
Speaker 1: to them for stuff. But I missed I missed the

1144
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:13,120
Speaker 1: days when I didn't um count calories or look at

1145
00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 1: food is bad or good? Those that's what the day.

1146
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:20,000
Speaker 1: The day where a change because I remember the day

1147
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 1: because my parents divorced. I kind of ever, you know,

1148
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 1: that's so interesting that one day you woke up and

1149
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:30,920
Speaker 1: your life, your brain change, Well, it was, you know.

1150
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:34,320
Speaker 1: It was a day where I remember Jamie Nash saying,

1151
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 1: you look so thin? What did you do? And I

1152
00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:40,240
Speaker 1: was like, what did I do? I remember where I

1153
00:59:40,240 --> 00:59:43,240
Speaker 1: was sitting and I didn't eat today because I was

1154
00:59:43,280 --> 00:59:45,200
Speaker 1: nervous about a boy. But I didn't know I didn't eat.

1155
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:47,920
Speaker 1: I wasn't trying not to eat. And I was just like, huh,

1156
00:59:48,120 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 1: that felt really good hearing Jamie Nash, who was my

1157
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:52,760
Speaker 1: favorite person, who I wanted to be more than anyone.

1158
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 1: I thought I looked cute and skinny, and I was

1159
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:58,400
Speaker 1: just like, I'm worrying. You were not eating on purpose. No,

1160
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 1: it was just because a boy that I like so

1161
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:04,480
Speaker 1: much liked finally was taking an interest in me, and

1162
01:00:04,520 --> 01:00:06,160
Speaker 1: I got so nervous that I was going to kiss him.

1163
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,280
Speaker 1: It was my senior year. I was just like, didn't

1164
01:00:08,320 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 1: I always don't eat. I get when I get nervous,

1165
01:00:11,080 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 1: which is rarely happens now, I lose my appetite. And

1166
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 1: that day it showed up like that because compliment. And

1167
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:24,000
Speaker 1: then I go, what what what else can I do?

1168
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:26,120
Speaker 1: And then I started reading books and I started But

1169
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 1: I remember being in fourth grade and seeing a plate

1170
01:00:29,640 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 1: of brownies that my MoMA just cooked, and coming in

1171
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:34,160
Speaker 1: from playing with my friends, it was like probably nine

1172
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 1: o'clock and way eight o'clock running in seeing the brownies

1173
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 1: having one after dinner and then one another and not

1174
01:00:41,800 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 1: doing it. Not because I wanted to lose weight. I

1175
01:00:44,360 --> 01:00:47,560
Speaker 1: was already skinny child, but because that's what women do.

1176
01:00:48,360 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 1: Women don't let themselves have to And I wanted to

1177
01:00:51,280 --> 01:00:53,320
Speaker 1: be up. I wanted to be a woman. I was

1178
01:00:53,400 --> 01:00:56,800
Speaker 1: remember Charlie Popistein telling me he loved me at Recess

1179
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:58,720
Speaker 1: via Michael Olson. Michael Olson came up to me, was

1180
01:00:58,760 --> 01:01:00,520
Speaker 1: like he it was in third grade. He was a

1181
01:01:00,560 --> 01:01:02,520
Speaker 1: new student. I was kind of a new student. We

1182
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: were best friends, and he was starting to act a

1183
01:01:04,680 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 1: little weird. And then one day Michaelson was like, hey,

1184
01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:11,480
Speaker 1: Charlie loves you. And I thought that Michael Olson said that.

1185
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:14,400
Speaker 1: Charlie said I had chubby legs. Don't ask me why,

1186
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 1: but that's what I heard. And I ran with it

1187
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,520
Speaker 1: because I was so excited to be a woman who

1188
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:24,280
Speaker 1: was like I'm fat. And I remember my uh neighbor

1189
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:26,440
Speaker 1: Kate Donni Hue, coming to pick me up because she

1190
01:01:26,440 --> 01:01:28,760
Speaker 1: would pick up for my mom sometimes and she picked

1191
01:01:28,840 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 1: us up and I was sitting on the railroad track

1192
01:01:30,920 --> 01:01:33,240
Speaker 1: like tracks around the playground and I was just like

1193
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:36,000
Speaker 1: crying and like trying to fake cry like a woman

1194
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,120
Speaker 1: who feels fat does. And she was like, what's rotten, Nick,

1195
01:01:39,160 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 1: what's going on? And I was like, Michael Olson told

1196
01:01:41,680 --> 01:01:44,160
Speaker 1: me that Charlie bubble Side today had chubby legs. And

1197
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:46,560
Speaker 1: she goes, get the funk out of here, get in

1198
01:01:46,600 --> 01:01:48,240
Speaker 1: the guy. She I remember her, but she didn't say fun.

1199
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 1: But she was just like, you're not getting to do that.

1200
01:01:50,280 --> 01:01:51,800
Speaker 1: And I was just like, damn it. I got caught.

1201
01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:53,200
Speaker 1: Like it was almost like I had a fake I

1202
01:01:53,280 --> 01:01:56,040
Speaker 1: d because I was just like the tiniest child. But

1203
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 1: I did it because I wanted to be a woman,

1204
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,920
Speaker 1: not because I thought I was fat. I thought that's

1205
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 1: what you do when you're a woman, and that is fucked. No,

1206
01:02:03,920 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 1: what do you have? One? Um? The one that came

1207
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:11,080
Speaker 1: to mind is I missed the days when I could

1208
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:15,040
Speaker 1: go on like the We called it the ledge, but

1209
01:02:15,120 --> 01:02:17,600
Speaker 1: it was the fire escape at my best friend's house

1210
01:02:17,640 --> 01:02:20,080
Speaker 1: when I was a kid and we would just go

1211
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:22,720
Speaker 1: down to Mr Kim's grocery store and just buy like

1212
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:24,840
Speaker 1: a bunch of snacks. It would just like sit on

1213
01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:28,440
Speaker 1: the fire escape and just eat Mr Kim's where you hid. Yeah, exactly.

1214
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:31,440
Speaker 1: As a child, I used to love going to the sounds.

1215
01:02:32,240 --> 01:02:34,840
Speaker 1: So we just you know, like do you miss the friends?

1216
01:02:36,120 --> 01:02:41,480
Speaker 1: This was like it was I had one friend, um

1217
01:02:41,560 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 1: that I made in third grade. It was like a

1218
01:02:43,600 --> 01:02:46,160
Speaker 1: year into being in this country. And she was my

1219
01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:49,640
Speaker 1: friend until like end of high school. And and Um,

1220
01:02:49,680 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 1: I just like loved going to her house. Like her

1221
01:02:51,720 --> 01:02:54,320
Speaker 1: dad was a plumber and he had all these pipes

1222
01:02:54,360 --> 01:02:57,560
Speaker 1: everywhere and we would find like coins, so we would

1223
01:02:57,560 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 1: do like just look for money to go down and

1224
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 1: get snacks, just like sit on the fire escape. And

1225
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:05,840
Speaker 1: I think I missed that because like I feel like

1226
01:03:05,880 --> 01:03:09,440
Speaker 1: today you couldn't do that. You know, they're like your

1227
01:03:09,480 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 1: parents would get fined or something like that. It's like,

1228
01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:15,240
Speaker 1: I guess I missed the days when I could be carefree,

1229
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:18,160
Speaker 1: which is kind of like what you guys are seeing. Yeah,

1230
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 1: it's kind of like what we're all going to Let's

1231
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 1: still try to do something today that we notumber. Yeah,

1232
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:30,840
Speaker 1: that's what she misses. Yeah, she misses being a thief

1233
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:34,560
Speaker 1: of a plumber who's working hard blue collar job and

1234
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:38,880
Speaker 1: I missed snacks and friends too, and you know, going

1235
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:41,320
Speaker 1: in the creeks and the creeks for me where the

1236
01:03:41,320 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 1: fire escapes, like running through the creeks in my neighborhood,

1237
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 1: and like just going to places that as a kid

1238
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:50,680
Speaker 1: now or as an adult, you you can't go hang

1239
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 1: out on the rooftop or like sneak out the like

1240
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:54,840
Speaker 1: you can do all these things, but like we don't.

1241
01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,280
Speaker 1: So let's I don't know, I want to do something

1242
01:03:57,280 --> 01:04:01,680
Speaker 1: today that my intuition is telling men do because you

1243
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 1: don't do that anymore. And but don't get physically hurt.

1244
01:04:05,480 --> 01:04:08,000
Speaker 1: But like, let's all do something and indulge a little

1245
01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:11,040
Speaker 1: bit in the way it was climb a tree. I'm

1246
01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:14,840
Speaker 1: not high, honestly, no, I'm not even kidding, like or

1247
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:17,640
Speaker 1: like little things like that. Just your mom would go,

1248
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:23,800
Speaker 1: don't get off that, find a stick for yeah, make

1249
01:04:23,840 --> 01:04:26,240
Speaker 1: a pillow for jump on the bed. Your kids do it.

1250
01:04:26,320 --> 01:04:28,960
Speaker 1: Maybe your kids don't realize, like certain things that I

1251
01:04:28,960 --> 01:04:30,760
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of kids are on their phones

1252
01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:33,200
Speaker 1: are playing let's do something I used to do as

1253
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 1: a kid, and see they're like, no, this is job.

1254
01:04:36,920 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 1: Like my dad would probably like twinkies and then being

1255
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:43,160
Speaker 1: a coma on the couch, rub your calm on the

1256
01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:46,760
Speaker 1: car carpet, come on the Well, this wasn't the funniest

1257
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:49,760
Speaker 1: pod that we've done, but I really am grateful that

1258
01:04:49,880 --> 01:04:52,240
Speaker 1: I was able to get some figure some things out,

1259
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:56,480
Speaker 1: So thank you both. Final thought today, let's keep it

1260
01:04:56,840 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 1: h Let's get back to your night. Let's end it. Um. So,

1261
01:05:00,080 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 1: can I talk about that thing that happened in in

1262
01:05:03,240 --> 01:05:05,720
Speaker 1: Cabo that was so funny? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, please

1263
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 1: yeah that Nikky was staying at a nice hotel, uh

1264
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:12,760
Speaker 1: and it had a great cool pool, but it had

1265
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:14,760
Speaker 1: one of the day parties that you see in Vegas,

1266
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:17,040
Speaker 1: where like people are just listen to E. D. M

1267
01:05:17,040 --> 01:05:20,640
Speaker 1: And fucking eating Molly and just fucking just in the

1268
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:23,480
Speaker 1: pool by themselves just because feeling the beats. You know.

1269
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:25,840
Speaker 1: The hotel I'm staying at was like a timeshare place

1270
01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:27,320
Speaker 1: for old people, and then all of a sudden they

1271
01:05:27,320 --> 01:05:30,440
Speaker 1: put in one of these day pool like day party clubs,

1272
01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:33,800
Speaker 1: and every the whole time you're there, all throughout the

1273
01:05:33,840 --> 01:05:37,240
Speaker 1: day on the weekend, it's like everywhere you go the

1274
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:39,400
Speaker 1: walls are shaking from this. On the other side is

1275
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:42,720
Speaker 1: Frank Sinatra, like all old people. I was the youngest

1276
01:05:42,760 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 1: person staying there by decades and then but everyone comes

1277
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:51,080
Speaker 1: in for this, so by a hundred years, I really was.

1278
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 1: So it's so funny because you told me about and

1279
01:05:54,520 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 1: we were in Cabo. Cabo is a place where you

1280
01:05:57,000 --> 01:06:00,800
Speaker 1: go for bachelor parties. You go to fucking rage out,

1281
01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 1: which I in my twenties. I'd be at that fucking

1282
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:06,760
Speaker 1: day party, getting as drunk as possible, probably putting on

1283
01:06:06,760 --> 01:06:10,120
Speaker 1: another girl that you wanted to go. I just wanted

1284
01:06:10,120 --> 01:06:12,960
Speaker 1: to see, Yes, I just wanted to see it. One

1285
01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:17,160
Speaker 1: day early and I got we went back from the set. Yeah,

1286
01:06:17,600 --> 01:06:20,600
Speaker 1: I went to eat my lunch. I heard that Andrew

1287
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:22,480
Speaker 1: and we were gonna go read by the pool, and

1288
01:06:22,480 --> 01:06:24,360
Speaker 1: I wrote Andrew after he dropped me off and he

1289
01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:25,920
Speaker 1: went back to his hotel. I go, hey, there's no

1290
01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:28,800
Speaker 1: reading going on because there's this fucking house party going

1291
01:06:28,840 --> 01:06:31,080
Speaker 1: on with like E d M music. And so I

1292
01:06:31,120 --> 01:06:34,360
Speaker 1: went into bed to go take my afternoon nap after

1293
01:06:35,320 --> 01:06:42,560
Speaker 1: scenes and he's texting me yeah and go, and he goes, um,

1294
01:06:42,600 --> 01:06:44,160
Speaker 1: I might come over and see that, And I was like,

1295
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:46,520
Speaker 1: that's hilarious, Like, no way, did I think you would

1296
01:06:46,520 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 1: ever have the balls alone because you get really nervous

1297
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:52,480
Speaker 1: around like hot young guys sometimes as I've seen, but

1298
01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:54,920
Speaker 1: you don't care at all. You went alone to the

1299
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,200
Speaker 1: stay part, you drove over back to my hotel. I

1300
01:06:57,280 --> 01:06:58,840
Speaker 1: just had to see it. I don't know why. I

1301
01:06:58,880 --> 01:07:01,000
Speaker 1: just felt like I had to. Like it was people

1302
01:07:01,040 --> 01:07:04,080
Speaker 1: watching that I haven't seen in so long. And I decided,

1303
01:07:04,160 --> 01:07:05,400
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to get out of bed

1304
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:08,040
Speaker 1: and go to because Andrew had sold me on it,

1305
01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:09,000
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't want to do this.

1306
01:07:09,040 --> 01:07:10,920
Speaker 1: I have a headache, but I got to see. This

1307
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:12,920
Speaker 1: is the last weekend we're going to be in town.

1308
01:07:13,960 --> 01:07:16,400
Speaker 1: It was like, did I go, They go in, They

1309
01:07:16,840 --> 01:07:19,040
Speaker 1: they pat you down to see if your guns or

1310
01:07:19,120 --> 01:07:22,919
Speaker 1: knives or fucking I don't know, nerds whatever. And then

1311
01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 1: I go in and it's just it's exactly what you think.

1312
01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:28,920
Speaker 1: It's like the Tower of Babble. It's just like he

1313
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:31,800
Speaker 1: did in his own like fucking just end of the

1314
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:34,880
Speaker 1: day too. I mean, this thing probably thirty and now

1315
01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:38,000
Speaker 1: it's three thirty. It's probably shutting down around four, So

1316
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:41,520
Speaker 1: I said, I I walk in and I'm like, holy

1317
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:43,800
Speaker 1: sh it is the best people watching I've seen in

1318
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:46,720
Speaker 1: so long and Nikki I text, I go, you just

1319
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:48,960
Speaker 1: gotta see these people, and you're like worth it, and

1320
01:07:49,000 --> 01:07:50,640
Speaker 1: I go send a pick and I go, I'll do

1321
01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:53,280
Speaker 1: you one better. I'm gonna video this whole thing. Didn't

1322
01:07:53,280 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 1: say that. He just decided to. So I was going

1323
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:57,880
Speaker 1: to get a panorama. You. So he's gonna take the

1324
01:07:57,880 --> 01:08:01,680
Speaker 1: camera and just scan the debauchery he's watching. So I

1325
01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:06,080
Speaker 1: started scanning, and I'm scanning from left to right. Yes,

1326
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:09,120
Speaker 1: And while I'm scanning, you know, you look inside your

1327
01:08:09,320 --> 01:08:12,439
Speaker 1: camera or your phone and you you and you're looking

1328
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:15,800
Speaker 1: at the whole party. You're not looking at like individuals,

1329
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:20,639
Speaker 1: but scanning. He perfectly lines up with this waitress who

1330
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,519
Speaker 1: is walking the same speed that he's decided to stand with.

1331
01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:26,720
Speaker 1: So she you see in the video, you see her

1332
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:29,880
Speaker 1: walk and then you see her slowly clock that this

1333
01:08:29,880 --> 01:08:33,360
Speaker 1: guy has his phone up and then you just by coincidence,

1334
01:08:33,400 --> 01:08:36,000
Speaker 1: he's he's going the same speed of which she's walking

1335
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,200
Speaker 1: in the same direction, and it looks like he's filming

1336
01:08:38,240 --> 01:08:40,519
Speaker 1: her and you see her do like a double take.

1337
01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:43,800
Speaker 1: I can feel her eyes. Oh, it's so good to

1338
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:48,000
Speaker 1: do it slow motion. Andrew sends me this long thing

1339
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,000
Speaker 1: of like I was shooting this video. This all happened.

1340
01:08:50,040 --> 01:08:52,240
Speaker 1: He's like, she caught me and then he went in

1341
01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:55,200
Speaker 1: what happened? So tell us. So I shoot the video

1342
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:59,080
Speaker 1: and I see her in the thing, and I don't understand.

1343
01:08:59,320 --> 01:09:02,200
Speaker 1: I don't think that she's looking at me because I'm

1344
01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:04,760
Speaker 1: looking at my phone. I'm just discon you're disconnected from

1345
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:06,880
Speaker 1: things that happen when you're looking at your phone. So

1346
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:09,200
Speaker 1: I see her staring at me. Are you feel invisible

1347
01:09:09,200 --> 01:09:12,040
Speaker 1: because you're the oldest guy. Yeah. And I'm drinking, I'm

1348
01:09:12,120 --> 01:09:15,120
Speaker 1: going to diet coke, wearing like overalls, like I shouldn't

1349
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:17,120
Speaker 1: even be in there, like I'm sucking, like I just

1350
01:09:17,120 --> 01:09:19,320
Speaker 1: ship my depends, like there's no reason for me to

1351
01:09:19,360 --> 01:09:24,160
Speaker 1: be in there. So I'm filming her and I see

1352
01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:26,800
Speaker 1: her looking and then it hits me, Oh my god.

1353
01:09:27,240 --> 01:09:30,000
Speaker 1: She thinks I'm a creep. She thinks I'm a creep.

1354
01:09:30,240 --> 01:09:32,280
Speaker 1: I'm not a creep. I'm just here to people want

1355
01:09:32,320 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 1: I'm just showing my friend. Don't see the camera jostle

1356
01:09:35,040 --> 01:09:37,920
Speaker 1: like he got shot. And then it cuts out like

1357
01:09:38,000 --> 01:09:42,479
Speaker 1: Blair Witch like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm

1358
01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:44,400
Speaker 1: so She's like, why would you she said, let me

1359
01:09:44,439 --> 01:09:46,240
Speaker 1: see the let me see the video. She asked me

1360
01:09:46,280 --> 01:09:48,200
Speaker 1: to see the video. I go, it's fine, you'll see.

1361
01:09:48,280 --> 01:09:50,880
Speaker 1: Once you see the video, you'll realize it's not that

1362
01:09:50,880 --> 01:09:54,400
Speaker 1: big of a deal. The video couldn't be anymore so clear.

1363
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:59,080
Speaker 1: So then he shows her the text exchange between him

1364
01:09:59,120 --> 01:10:01,599
Speaker 1: and I to prove that I had asked for a pick.

1365
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:05,960
Speaker 1: Which did that suffice for her? It's suffice enough where

1366
01:10:05,960 --> 01:10:09,360
Speaker 1: she was actually somewhat cool about it. But like the

1367
01:10:09,560 --> 01:10:15,200
Speaker 1: feeling of feeling like a creep, Oh god, men, is

1368
01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:18,120
Speaker 1: their biggest fear as being a creep, because so many

1369
01:10:18,160 --> 01:10:20,400
Speaker 1: of you have creepy thoughts that I think that someone

1370
01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:23,800
Speaker 1: seeing inside it, even for a second or miss misidentifying

1371
01:10:23,840 --> 01:10:26,320
Speaker 1: you as a creep is the biggest fear. Like it's

1372
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:29,280
Speaker 1: a lot of times women might feel that way when

1373
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:31,680
Speaker 1: we are like for me, when someone thinks that I

1374
01:10:32,800 --> 01:10:35,160
Speaker 1: um that I think I'm cool or something where I'm

1375
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:38,160
Speaker 1: like no, that's the opposite of what I think. Like

1376
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:40,720
Speaker 1: it's just like or like if you someone thinks you

1377
01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:43,439
Speaker 1: stole something and I'm like no, I used to steal,

1378
01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:46,120
Speaker 1: like yeah, from some change from a plumber to buy

1379
01:10:46,160 --> 01:10:51,760
Speaker 1: some hot talkies or UT's UT's barbecue chips. Childhood is

1380
01:10:51,840 --> 01:10:55,880
Speaker 1: like Bronx tail. It's literally like, Hey Arnold, she was

1381
01:10:55,920 --> 01:10:58,120
Speaker 1: like a character on Hey Arnold. Yeah, she was just

1382
01:10:58,200 --> 01:11:00,640
Speaker 1: running around. Could look like a car too, character a

1383
01:11:00,640 --> 01:11:03,920
Speaker 1: beautiful one. No, there's so many times this week. No,

1384
01:11:04,040 --> 01:11:05,920
Speaker 1: it's I want to say that when you get told

1385
01:11:05,920 --> 01:11:08,400
Speaker 1: your Wallace and grounmet like I have, it offends you.

1386
01:11:08,439 --> 01:11:12,120
Speaker 1: But um, but there's so many times since we were

1387
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:15,080
Speaker 1: doing the podcast and that this was not me shooting

1388
01:11:15,080 --> 01:11:18,639
Speaker 1: on myself. I would see your face in the screen

1389
01:11:18,880 --> 01:11:21,639
Speaker 1: of US three and I would think it was me

1390
01:11:21,880 --> 01:11:24,080
Speaker 1: for a second because it's we have the same like

1391
01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:27,680
Speaker 1: kind of makeup style and hair, and you're wearing some

1392
01:11:27,760 --> 01:11:30,160
Speaker 1: of my clothes, and I would think for a second,

1393
01:11:30,240 --> 01:11:32,240
Speaker 1: oh my god, I look great today, and then that

1394
01:11:33,120 --> 01:11:35,479
Speaker 1: second later it would be like, oh, that's Noah, and

1395
01:11:35,520 --> 01:11:37,360
Speaker 1: then I would go, wait, no, you look great too.

1396
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:40,560
Speaker 1: But it was like there was always this like oh wow,

1397
01:11:40,800 --> 01:11:43,080
Speaker 1: and like I thought there, um, so I just want

1398
01:11:43,080 --> 01:11:47,080
Speaker 1: to tell you that you're pretty thank you. That's so sweet,

1399
01:11:47,880 --> 01:11:50,840
Speaker 1: and you're you're really great at your job, and I'm adorable.

1400
01:11:50,920 --> 01:11:57,000
Speaker 1: And Andrew is actually not actually funny. He's just funny

1401
01:11:57,040 --> 01:11:59,519
Speaker 1: and smart. Nice save al right, guys, we gotta go. Yes,

1402
01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:04,200
Speaker 1: and some art very smart. Thank you guys for listening. Um,

1403
01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,240
Speaker 1: we'll have a fun show tomorrow to round it out.

1404
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:09,000
Speaker 1: We'll keep it really light and giggly. Thank you for

1405
01:12:09,040 --> 01:12:11,320
Speaker 1: being there for us and being fans. And I love

1406
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:15,679
Speaker 1: you so much. Don't be cooled out there. And Chiack

1407
01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:16,320
Speaker 1: Nicholas