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Speaker 1: It is dead Ass podcast presents a Day with K

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Speaker 1: presents a Gay with K featuring ask.

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Speaker 2: Tripa, that's right, that's right. The Gay's taking over for

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Speaker 2: the nine to nine of the two thousand.

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Speaker 1: Dead Ass baby listening letters. Count your Days triples on set. Hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm Kadan and I'm Devou and we're the Ellis's.

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Speaker 3: You may know us from posting funny videos with.

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Speaker 1: Our voice and reading each other publicly as.

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Speaker 4: A form of therapy.

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Speaker 5: Wait, I'll make you need therapy most days. Wow.

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Speaker 1: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes.

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Speaker 5: Sir, we are.

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Speaker 3: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 3: my's most taboo topics.

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Speaker 1: Things most folks don't want to talk about.

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Speaker 6: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass

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Speaker 6: is a term that we say every day. So when

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Speaker 6: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred,

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Speaker 6: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

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Speaker 5: Were about to take philosof to a whole new level.

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Speaker 1: Dead Ass starts right now. All right, y'all, it's funny.

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Speaker 5: I just realized where the story time is.

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Speaker 1: Tell us about a time when you realize trivial was

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Speaker 1: the coolest person you ever met, Like ever, first time

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Speaker 1: I met Trible real quick was at Stitcher Studio.

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Speaker 4: We were in LA.

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Speaker 1: We had finally moved, We already had the podcast underway.

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Speaker 1: We were recording in New York near Bryant Park, and

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Speaker 1: then once we made the transition over to LA with

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Speaker 1: the whole family, that's when we finally met you at Stitcher.

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Speaker 1: At that point, were you already there or were you

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Speaker 1: working on our podcast while we were in New York?

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Speaker 4: I can't remember.

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Speaker 2: No, I was someone else, right, Yeah, okay, I think

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Speaker 2: it was just Tiffany. At the time, I was living

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Speaker 2: in Chicago and then they made me move.

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Speaker 5: To LA uh huh.

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Speaker 2: And then I started working on y'all's podcast, right, and

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Speaker 2: I remember them telling me like, this is the podcast

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Speaker 2: you'll be working out on, like when I was kind

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Speaker 2: of in the interview process because I had to get

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Speaker 2: like a new role at the company to start working

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Speaker 2: with y'all. So I was like a married couple, a

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Speaker 2: straight married couple, like I ain't even about to be

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Speaker 2: into it. And the first I was upseessed, I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I can't believe.

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Speaker 5: People like that.

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Speaker 4: Did it make you think about potentially being straight.

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Speaker 2: But this last breakup did like this thirty six about

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Speaker 2: I'm thirty six and by the time this comes out, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's making me want to be straight.

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Speaker 5: Oh shit, man.

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Speaker 4: Is it hard in these streets for a lesbian woman?

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Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, it is hard for me. I think

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Speaker 2: I'll just be on trash and I don't realize it.

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Speaker 1: So it's the type of people, yeah, that you are encountering.

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Speaker 5: It is.

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Speaker 2: I think I'm attracting people. I have such a dynamic

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Speaker 2: personality pretty much you.

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Speaker 4: Here exactly like what's not to love?

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Speaker 2: And I think that people, the people that I attract,

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Speaker 2: they want to be me. They don't necessarily want to

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Speaker 2: be with them. So I feel like they want me

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Speaker 2: to save them from being introverted or save them from

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Speaker 2: being like bored.

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Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: So they're looking for entertainment essentially. Yes, that's that's what

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Speaker 1: I think, right, But you want to be entertained.

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Speaker 5: I want to be entertained.

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Speaker 1: I want to be at some point, you know what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. Somebody Triple said the dms are open.

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Speaker 2: They wide open, but today we're doing listener letters.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so this is gonna be fairly interesting that I

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Speaker 1: was not in town, you know, so we hear, and

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Speaker 1: I figured who better to do listener letters than me

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Speaker 1: and Triple You sift through them, you see them. You're

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Speaker 1: in charge of the dead ass advice Gmail dot com.

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Speaker 5: Amen.

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Speaker 1: And I mean, you see a lot of things up

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Speaker 1: in that email box.

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Speaker 2: And I'd be having a lot of opinions, a whole lot.

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Speaker 2: But I can never say have.

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Speaker 4: A chance to say yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean sometimes in the after show you give your

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Speaker 1: two cents, but not always about the listener letters the show.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I could I be one to email some of

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Speaker 2: y'all back, like you didn't get a therapist.

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Speaker 1: This is not the place, listen, John that zero will

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Speaker 1: finds you a hero exactly.

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Speaker 2: But luckily I am an unlicensed therapist. So I think

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna give some good advice tucky.

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Speaker 1: For us today. Well, you know, a quick storytime. Tell

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Speaker 1: me if you're gonna give me a story time about

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Speaker 1: the time you got some really bad advice.

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Speaker 2: I'll be thinking about this all the time. I remember

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Speaker 2: when I started working, I must have been in high

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Speaker 2: school and I wanted to buy like a pair of

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Speaker 2: boots or something that was one hundred dollars and I

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Speaker 2: probably had like one hundred and twenty dollars, and I

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Speaker 2: told my step mom, like, I want to buy these

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Speaker 2: boots for one hundred dollars, and she said, it's your money.

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Speaker 2: And that piece of advice plays in my head every

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Speaker 2: time I want to buy something I can't afford.

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Speaker 5: So that has to be the worst advice that I've

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Speaker 5: ever got because I use it to make that regularly

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Speaker 5: all the time.

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Speaker 1: You justify it by say it but it's my money though, yes, exactly,

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Speaker 1: And I'm gonna make some mold spend that, so I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna spend it.

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Speaker 5: They say, that's what the song said.

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Speaker 1: Karaoke time, so Triple K prepared with karaoke. It's giving

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Speaker 1: that you have like a whole juke box of your head.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I do.

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Speaker 1: Is it giving ninety ninety two thousands or is.

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Speaker 5: It ninety ninety two thousands?

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Speaker 2: I love old school same when I was a kid,

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Speaker 2: I used to play like music from the seventies and

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Speaker 2: my sister would be like, put on Jah Rule.

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Speaker 1: Can we listen to John Rule, Shauncey, Jolie Baltimore.

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Speaker 2: No, I'm trying to listen to this everything. I'm trying

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Speaker 2: to listen to Marvin Gaye in here.

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Speaker 5: I mean, I like that. Want to listen to Steely

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Speaker 5: Dan and this bitch?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: You know what I really liked.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know who sang the song the song Sarah Smile,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I love I always say if I was born like

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Speaker 2: in the sixties, I would have been a halling Oats groupie.

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Speaker 1: Yeah it's giving that giving that I can get the

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Speaker 1: field too. It's just so halling Oaks.

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Speaker 5: It's definitely would have been on the road.

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Speaker 4: With list saying okay, now, so we got for karaoke today?

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Speaker 2: What's the matter with your life? Why you gotta mess

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Speaker 2: with mine? Don't keep sweating what I do because I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna be just by.

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Speaker 5: If I want to take a guy home with me tonight,

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Speaker 5: it's not your buzzads. And if she want to be in.

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Speaker 2: The freaking sell it on the weekend, it's not your business. Now,

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Speaker 2: who dope trying to take with mine? I tell you

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Speaker 2: one more time.

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Speaker 4: It's not your business.

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Speaker 2: That's who do you think you are putting your cheap too?

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Speaker 2: Since sin, that's my favorite part. I wish the song

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Speaker 2: end it right there. That's my favorite part.

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Speaker 1: So good. I didn't even remember that part. But it's so,

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Speaker 1: I mean, we're gonna give it two cents because that's

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Speaker 1: clearly why y'all rote in today.

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Speaker 5: That's such an appropriate song. Who do I think I

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Speaker 5: am putting my cheap suess and sin that Triple exactly.

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Speaker 4: That's who it is. That's who it is. You got

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Speaker 4: two cents to pay these Billso is a question.

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Speaker 5: I ain't got nothing on it.

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Speaker 4: And listen, if it's your money, what did you say?

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Speaker 5: My say? And I want it? Now? Wait? What commercially

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Speaker 5: have you g work worth? Ain't seven seven cash?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 5: Ain't cash? No?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I cannot even do. This is gonna

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Speaker 1: be a great episode, y'all. We just over here, Kiki

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Speaker 1: and cackling and all that stuff, were about to get

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Speaker 1: into your business. So stick around. Triple's gonna get the

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Speaker 1: two cents. She's gonna find it to pay these bills,

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Speaker 1: and we're gonna come back that we're here discussing triples curls.

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Speaker 1: It's giving.

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Speaker 5: I could do this.

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Speaker 2: I could do a ponytail, I can blow dry, and

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Speaker 2: that's what you're gonna get.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I've seen it. I've seen you pull it together.

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Speaker 5: Baby, Yeah, I pulls it pulls it. That's one thing

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Speaker 5: you do.

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Speaker 1: You walking here looking like a whole hole boat and

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Speaker 1: then we like tripple. We got a party or something

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Speaker 1: to go to. It's the that was birthday dinner and

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Speaker 1: she comes out looking like a whole glass Candleope, now orange,

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Speaker 1: I love it.

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Speaker 5: I love that. Yeah, it was.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't getting orange, it was getting CANDLEO. It was.

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Speaker 5: It was nigger in it.

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Speaker 1: She sure was. That's a fact. Dial Back the footage

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Speaker 1: Patreon Ganggang. You can see you'll get exclusive content there.

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Speaker 5: It was giving genetically modified carrot.

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Speaker 2: Oh baby, not the GMO with the thick ass carrot, leaving.

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Speaker 1: Carrot residue everywhere you go, that orange ink. All right, now,

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Speaker 1: let's get serious. Time to get into y'all's business. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and read these listening letters and triple

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Speaker 1: you will feel free to jump in with me, and

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Speaker 1: we are going to see how we could help y'all

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Speaker 1: through these situations, because one thing y'all have, the situations

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Speaker 1: are going to situate all right now. Number one, Hey, y'all,

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Speaker 1: so me and my husband have been married for five years.

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty nine and he is thirty. Right now, we

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Speaker 1: aren't living together because our house is being repaired. I'm

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Speaker 1: at my dad's and he doesn't want my husband. Oh,

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Speaker 1: we don't want his husband. Your husband there, okay with that.

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Speaker 1: Initially we were all staying here, but my husband felt uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: so he went to stay with at his grandma's house.

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Speaker 1: We have four kids and they're staying with me. Since

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Speaker 1: we've been apart, my husband has gone clubbing. We don't

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Speaker 1: do clubbing. I knew nothing about it and found out

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Speaker 1: because I was checking my ePass statements or easy pathspath

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Speaker 1: or epas. Okay, easy Paths is New York or the

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Speaker 1: northern side of thing.

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Speaker 5: Yes.

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Speaker 1: Then I found out that after the club he went

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Speaker 1: with his homeboy to a girl's house, that his homeboy

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Speaker 1: has been having an affair with. My husband claims that

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Speaker 1: he's just sitting on the couch. Let's be real. There's

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Speaker 1: always a friend at the house. But he's sticking to

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Speaker 1: the script that he didn't do anything. Every time his

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Speaker 1: dirt comes to light, he lies about it and I

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Speaker 1: have to pull information out of him.

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Speaker 4: He will never willingly say it.

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Speaker 1: He says he's been going through a lot mentally with

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Speaker 1: being apart from his family, but I mean, I'm just

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Speaker 1: as alone while trying to take care of all four

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Speaker 1: kids by myself.

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Speaker 4: I'm ready to leave. My peace. Insanity is more important

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Speaker 4: to me.

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Speaker 1: I've sacrificed so much, and all he's done is take

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Speaker 1: He tries to gaslight me and say, if if I'm

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Speaker 1: allowed my own mind, the devil and the devil, wait,

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Speaker 1: if I'm allowed my own mind and the devil.

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Speaker 4: To not trust him?

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Speaker 1: Like, boy, your lies and secrets are causing me not

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Speaker 1: to trust you. There have been about three or four

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Speaker 1: other instances where he lied about stuff I found out about.

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Speaker 1: So this isn't the first situation. I want some advice

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Speaker 1: because I'm ready to bounce. I'm not a believer in

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Speaker 1: staying because of the kids. My parents did more damage

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Speaker 1: to me and my siblings with all that flip flop

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Speaker 1: bs hmm.

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Speaker 5: What we talking about over here?

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Speaker 1: Well, I will start by saying I am not a

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Speaker 1: believer either in keeping it together for the kids. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I have had moments where we've, like you know, over

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Speaker 1: the years, been like damn, like do we stick around

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Speaker 1: or do we not? And then you do think about

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Speaker 1: the kids. I mean that's a thing. But I also

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Speaker 1: realized the damage and staying around for the kids. But

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Speaker 1: let's talk about homeboy being out in these streets. I

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Speaker 1: think this is like a was this a pass for

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Speaker 1: him to be like, Oh, I had a little freedom

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Speaker 1: because no one's clocking my in and outs.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think so. I feel like he was already

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Speaker 2: doing dirt. First of all, here's my advice. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 2: if you really want to get down to the bottom

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Speaker 2: of it, you need to hit up that friend's wife

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Speaker 2: and tell her what you know. Oh, because then you're

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Speaker 2: gonna blow the whole spot up and find out what

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Speaker 2: really went on.

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Speaker 5: Okay, that's all you gotta do.

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Speaker 1: So wait, Triple, you're saying that she needs to stick

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Speaker 1: her nose in some other married people's business.

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Speaker 5: He threw he threw his friend under the bus.

256
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Speaker 2: So I feel like and that's probably if if he's

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Speaker 2: not telling the truth, that's what he's banking on, is

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Speaker 2: that she's not gonna put her nose in other married

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Speaker 2: people's business. But he put the business out there, so

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Speaker 2: now he can't really control what she does.

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Speaker 1: Wait, but did he say that the friend was married,

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Speaker 1: Because it says after finding out he went to the

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Speaker 1: club with his homeboy to a girl's house that his

264
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Speaker 1: homeboy was having an affair with.

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Speaker 5: So I would assume yeah, right, because.

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Speaker 1: Either somebody somebody's married. Let's say the friend is married.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Man, I don't know about.

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Speaker 5: Like blowing the whole operation up.

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Speaker 1: Do you think to get to the root of the problem,

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Speaker 1: that she should just like blow everything up and just

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Speaker 1: be like, listen, here's what's happening.

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Speaker 2: Well, or I mean, I guess you can make an

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Speaker 2: empty threat to the husband, like, oh, I'm gonna just

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Speaker 2: call such and such a wife and see if she

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Speaker 2: knows about homegirl. Oh, because I don't feel comfortable knowing

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Speaker 2: this information. If she finds out and the husband is

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Speaker 2: that they thrown each other under the bus, right, he

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Speaker 2: gonna be like, well, so I'm gonna call him Curtis.

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Speaker 5: I don't know why he feel like a Curtis. Well,

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Speaker 5: Curtis was over there with me.

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Speaker 2: Like, then Curtis is gonna be like I told my wife,

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Speaker 2: and then the lady gonna be trying to fight your wife.

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Speaker 1: Right, Why don't you say something before this kind of thing?

285
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Speaker 1: I mean, maybe not too. I don't know if they

286
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Speaker 1: have the kind of relationship where she is close with

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Speaker 1: homeboy Curtis's wife.

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Speaker 4: Let's say that she could.

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Speaker 1: Feel comfortable to do it, But I mean, I'm also

290
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Speaker 1: wondering what the underlying issue is here because she did

291
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Speaker 1: say this has happened a couple of times. So has

292
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Speaker 1: this just sparked her feeling like, you know what, maybe

293
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Speaker 1: things haven't been on the up and up anyway. So

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Speaker 1: this house repairs to situation is maybe forcing both of

295
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Speaker 1: them to see where they really want to exist. Yeah,

296
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Speaker 1: because being married five years, I mean it's really not

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Speaker 1: that long. No, I don't know how long they've been

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Speaker 1: together with four kids. She's twenty ninety, he's thirty. So

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Speaker 1: I mean the history there and the time frame is

300
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Speaker 1: really not that what's the word seasoned for lack of

301
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Speaker 1: a better word, Like, it's not that they've been together

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Speaker 1: for like ten years, twenty years, you know.

303
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Speaker 5: So it's hard to say.

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Speaker 2: Him that her dad knows something about him that she

305
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Speaker 2: didn't disclose in the letter, because she did say her

306
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Speaker 2: father doesn't want him there, which I can.

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Speaker 1: Want to be a dad instant, like a man to man,

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Speaker 1: like he know, like, oh, this is the game moving right?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it seems like that because if I would I

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Speaker 2: would say, if the dad has his shit together enough

311
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Speaker 2: that her and four kids can come stay at his house.

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Speaker 2: He's a kind of man with a little bit of substance,

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Speaker 2: maybe a little bit.

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Speaker 1: That's a good point you brought up, because actually kind

315
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Speaker 1: of glazed over that. But yeah, what's the underlying reason?

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Speaker 1: That's what that would be my follow up question to her,

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Speaker 1: what's the underlying reason why your father would didn't want

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Speaker 1: his son in law with his wife, which is his daughter,

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Speaker 1: right and grandchildren.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because when I first read it, I thought maybe

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Speaker 2: that was her boyfriend, because you know, old school parents

322
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Speaker 2: be like, you ain't sleeping in the air with no

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Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 5: But that's her husband. They're married.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for short, Devin, I definitely had moments when we

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Speaker 1: were dating. I remember one time in particular, we both

327
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,920
Speaker 1: were doing something. We were both exhausted, like I was

328
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,280
Speaker 1: doing something. He came home from practice or whatever, and

329
00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,560
Speaker 1: we literally were in his sister's room. Parents weren't home.

330
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Speaker 1: We were dating at the time. It was college, and

331
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Speaker 1: we were in his sister's room and we were just

332
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Speaker 1: talking and I remember him falling asleep like one way

333
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Speaker 1: on the bed and I fell asleep. We probably made

334
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:41,080
Speaker 1: like a v Like we were not even like cuddle canoodling,

335
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,400
Speaker 1: like clothes.

336
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,920
Speaker 5: On, everything, just like passed out sleep.

337
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:49,040
Speaker 1: And Devell's mom came in and saw us, and she

338
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,360
Speaker 1: she just looked at us in the bed and then

339
00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:55,800
Speaker 1: she just went downstairs. Oh right, and then she called

340
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,920
Speaker 1: out to the two of us, like, come on down

341
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Speaker 1: real quick.

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Speaker 4: I want to talk to you. So he looked to me.

343
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Speaker 1: He was like like because one thing, his mom and dad,

344
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,840
Speaker 1: like their family do these family caucuses. So I went

345
00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:09,160
Speaker 1: downstairs with him and his mom is sitting there in

346
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,720
Speaker 1: the kitchen and she has a couple of ice and

347
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:15,160
Speaker 1: she has a can of pepsi and a straw and

348
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,640
Speaker 1: she said, so she's He's like, yeah, ma, and she's

349
00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,680
Speaker 1: just like motions for us to sit. She don't even

350
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:21,560
Speaker 1: say that, She's like motions. I'm like, was she the Godfather?

351
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,000
Speaker 1: Like what are we doing here? You know?

352
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:25,080
Speaker 5: So she motions for us to sit. So we sit.

353
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Speaker 1: It's getting awkward. There's a silence there. So she pops

354
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Speaker 1: the top of her pepsi and then she starts slowly down,

355
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:38,560
Speaker 1: I mean, not making eye contact nothing like she was

356
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,080
Speaker 1: focused on like opening her pepsi.

357
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Speaker 4: She poured it over the ice. You know, you watch

358
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:43,560
Speaker 4: like we're all watching the.

359
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,800
Speaker 5: Fizz like do this like it goes down.

360
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:50,200
Speaker 1: Then she takes the straw and she slowly likes circulates

361
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Speaker 1: the ice.

362
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:51,680
Speaker 5: And the pepsi.

363
00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,520
Speaker 1: And then finally, after at least about two minutes, she's

364
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,880
Speaker 1: just like, did I miss the wedding?

365
00:15:57,360 --> 00:15:58,760
Speaker 5: Oh my god?

366
00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:02,640
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh, no, about hit the.

367
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,440
Speaker 1: It's giving out of wedlock vibes, it's giving shacking up.

368
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:13,160
Speaker 5: And Deval was like, yo, ma, why are you being

369
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:14,200
Speaker 5: on dramatic and stuff like that.

370
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,320
Speaker 1: We wasn't even you know, Deval in true devoal form.

371
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,400
Speaker 5: Let his mom have it. And I'm just like looking

372
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,080
Speaker 5: at the two of them. You know that dog that's

373
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,360
Speaker 5: on the memes now that be like looking back and forth.

374
00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,880
Speaker 5: And I was like, what the hell is happening here?

375
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:30,040
Speaker 1: So saying that to say, now that they're married, you

376
00:16:30,040 --> 00:16:32,600
Speaker 1: would think that dad would be like, all right, it's

377
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 1: my son in law, my family together. But it's giving

378
00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 1: that there's definitely some sort of like it's like, so

379
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,920
Speaker 1: it's giving the husband could not wait for a little

380
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:42,120
Speaker 1: bit of leeway to be able to just be outside,

381
00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,280
Speaker 1: and the fact that he doesn't even feel comfortable saying

382
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,720
Speaker 1: to her like I'm going out you have to find

383
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,360
Speaker 1: out through the ePass statements. And he's staying at a

384
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,720
Speaker 1: girl's house, I mean a friend's house where girls are

385
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,480
Speaker 1: and there's access and all of that. The fact that

386
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,360
Speaker 1: you have to pull information out of him clearly is giving. That.

387
00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:58,280
Speaker 4: It's giving more like.

388
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,520
Speaker 1: He has something to hide, because if if he didn't,

389
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:03,360
Speaker 1: he would just be like, yo, I'm going out here,

390
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,480
Speaker 1: like there's nothing to do with it. I'm at granny's house,

391
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,200
Speaker 1: Like what are we doing. We're not watching Golden Girls

392
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,160
Speaker 1: at night, like I want to.

393
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:09,080
Speaker 4: Go and chill.

394
00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:13,120
Speaker 2: Right, And I'm a firm believer in you cannot tell

395
00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,040
Speaker 2: your partner what to do. Just because you do something

396
00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,160
Speaker 2: or you don't do something, it doesn't mean that your

397
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,160
Speaker 2: partner has to.

398
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 4: Do or All right, that's a good point, but if.

399
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:24,360
Speaker 2: You're in a relationship with somebody, you have to be

400
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:27,359
Speaker 2: brave enough to be honest with them about where you differ.

401
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:29,080
Speaker 2: You know, like you might not want to go to

402
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,359
Speaker 2: the club, but I want to go to the club.

403
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,240
Speaker 2: I like hanging out with my friends. I like being

404
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,200
Speaker 2: a part of the messy bullshit be cause I feel

405
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,360
Speaker 2: like there is a chance that he could have went

406
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 2: to his friend's mistress's house with him and just didn't

407
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:40,920
Speaker 2: want to go back to his granny's house.

408
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,199
Speaker 5: So he like, I'm gonna just chill over here. I'm

409
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:43,160
Speaker 5: gonna chill here on the couch.

410
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,360
Speaker 2: If the mistress got kids, they got carpri sons, snacks

411
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,879
Speaker 2: and shit, he like, I'm gonna stay over.

412
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:50,240
Speaker 5: Here real quick. We're then got the.

413
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:53,159
Speaker 2: Kids snacks that I like, you know, but very true.

414
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:57,119
Speaker 2: If he's not being open enough to tell her and

415
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:59,199
Speaker 2: he's just pretending like, oh, yeah, we don't go to

416
00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:00,639
Speaker 2: the club. I don't like one to the club. I

417
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 2: feel like there's so many more lies, right, And.

418
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,359
Speaker 1: If it mattered enough to him, he could have just

419
00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 1: been like, babe, like, yeah, I'm at home boys house.

420
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 1: Yeah he's doing his thing, but that's their business. Like

421
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,639
Speaker 1: I'm not getting involved in it, but I'll just be

422
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,359
Speaker 1: here chilling because we're traveling together.

423
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 4: Or whatever the case may be.

424
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 1: It's just the fact that he's not having the conversation

425
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 1: with her, and it almost is given like she's just

426
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:20,320
Speaker 1: been looking for a reason to bounce.

427
00:18:20,480 --> 00:18:22,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it also is kind of giving like she

428
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,119
Speaker 2: might not be making it easy for him to be

429
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:28,720
Speaker 2: honest or easy for him to want to be a

430
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,760
Speaker 2: respective truth. Yeah, because he I mean, I feel like

431
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,040
Speaker 2: him being like, oh, it's hard on me because I'm

432
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,040
Speaker 2: not with my wife and my kids. Like that's a lie.

433
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:37,840
Speaker 2: If you wanted to be with him, you would have

434
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 2: been with him and said at the club in fact,

435
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,720
Speaker 2: but obviously, like it seems like he's not really taking

436
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,000
Speaker 2: an issue with being away from her.

437
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,240
Speaker 5: He like, oh god, thank god, it's almost like giving life. Yeah,

438
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:47,800
Speaker 5: I'm out this bitch.

439
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,760
Speaker 2: You're so young, Like you're not even thirty yet, you

440
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 2: definitely still want to go have fun. Yeah, you're definitely

441
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,440
Speaker 2: still not at your height of maturity or at your tiredest,

442
00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,200
Speaker 2: even with four years, you.

443
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 1: Know, because baby before kids. At forty, it's a different

444
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:02,920
Speaker 1: ball game.

445
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,159
Speaker 2: It's definitely one thing I feel like I do, and

446
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,040
Speaker 2: sometimes it can be to a fault, but I look

447
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:11,320
Speaker 2: at what I'm doing to contribute to a situation as well,

448
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,919
Speaker 2: Like you're not, you know, being honest with me, Am

449
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 2: I making it easy for you to be honest the.

450
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:18,800
Speaker 5: Club, I don't want to go to the club.

451
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,040
Speaker 2: Is that something that I you know, and being too

452
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 2: rigid about Is there a way that I can be

453
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:23,360
Speaker 2: more flexible.

454
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 4: Right.

455
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, she may not be giving him like a

456
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,600
Speaker 1: safe space to feel like he can even express how

457
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 1: he feels.

458
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,160
Speaker 4: I think that that's a good side I could.

459
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,399
Speaker 1: All right, So we came a long way in talking

460
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,760
Speaker 1: that the.

461
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:38,400
Speaker 2: Friend give her a call, do what she's up to,

462
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:40,800
Speaker 2: you know, blow the shit up real quick. Maybe you

463
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,400
Speaker 2: don't have to say nothing right off back, but get

464
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:44,760
Speaker 2: to talk and see what it's like.

465
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 4: How things are going on that side. Yeah, I love that.

466
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,440
Speaker 1: Good luck to you, says Hopefully you guys can find

467
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,640
Speaker 1: some kind of common ground and if there's things that's

468
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:56,919
Speaker 1: just not working out, you know, though I'm not going

469
00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:58,920
Speaker 1: to be the first one to be like leave, get

470
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 1: a divorce or but you know, it's given that there's

471
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,639
Speaker 1: some underlying shit that's been happening for a while, festering,

472
00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 1: and this just kind of exposing it now for you guys.

473
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:10,160
Speaker 1: So good luck to you all right on to the

474
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,919
Speaker 1: next one, and hello Devalen Kadeen. I know both of

475
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,719
Speaker 1: you will read this, but Kadeen, I could really use

476
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:17,639
Speaker 1: some advice from one wife to another. My husband and

477
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 1: I have been together in all for twelve and a

478
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,879
Speaker 1: half years, that's dating and marriage, and I'm not writing

479
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,880
Speaker 1: to complain about my marriage. We are still very much

480
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 1: in love and I'm happily married. I feel this issue

481
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:30,640
Speaker 1: I'm having is more to do with me, and it's

482
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 1: affecting how I feel about being married. I met my

483
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,880
Speaker 1: husband when I was twenty three and he was twenty nine,

484
00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 1: and I had only one serious relationship before him. We

485
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,479
Speaker 1: fell in love almost immediately, moved in together when I

486
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:44,720
Speaker 1: was twenty five, and by twenty seven I was walking

487
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 1: down the aisle. Now that I'm thirty six, I've been

488
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:50,440
Speaker 1: finding myself reflecting more on life. Sometimes I wonder did

489
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,760
Speaker 1: I get married too soon? Although I love my life.

490
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 1: Now that I'm four years from forty, I wonder if

491
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 1: I really gave my self a chance to experience life

492
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: before marriage. I got with my husband when I was

493
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,360
Speaker 1: pretty young, and mostly all of my life's experiences has

494
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,000
Speaker 1: been with a partner. I never felt like I was

495
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 1: truly an independent woman because I always had my husband

496
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 1: to fall back on. It's crazy, but I've been feeling

497
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,280
Speaker 1: this way a lot lately, and I wonder if it's

498
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,160
Speaker 1: too late in my life for me to feel fulfilled

499
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,679
Speaker 1: in other ways. Just my marriage. I haven't spoken to

500
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:22,879
Speaker 1: my husband about my feelings. It's not like he's doing

501
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,719
Speaker 1: anything wrong as a husband, and I don't want him

502
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 1: to feel like I'm attacking him. Honestly, like I said before,

503
00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 1: maybe it's just me. I spent my years being a loving,

504
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 1: dedicated partner, and somehow I feel like I've lost myself

505
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,800
Speaker 1: in the process. I want to grow in so many

506
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 1: other ways than just being someone's wife. My husband and

507
00:21:41,560 --> 00:21:44,240
Speaker 1: I never had children, and I'm still a lot older.

508
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,280
Speaker 1: But I'm still a lot older now. Is it too

509
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,199
Speaker 1: late for me to get started focus on me and

510
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,639
Speaker 1: figure out what I want? Is it normal for me

511
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:54,440
Speaker 1: to feel this way? Thanks for any advice. That's literally

512
00:21:54,760 --> 00:22:00,440
Speaker 1: was me. Yeah, that literally was me. I mean I

513
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:03,479
Speaker 1: met Devell and we started dating in college, right eighteen,

514
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:07,360
Speaker 1: nineteen years old, babies prior to him two or three.

515
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: You know guys that I spoke to in high school,

516
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 1: so really didn't know who I was. And it's difficult

517
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 1: when you are grown with someone trying to grow as

518
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 1: an individual, grow alongside someone while considering someone's feelings at

519
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 1: the same time.

520
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,240
Speaker 4: Like, that's a lot to juggle.

521
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 1: So I start by saying, hey, no, you are not,

522
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 1: you know, weird for feeling this way.

523
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 4: I feel like when you approach.

524
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: A milestone birthday, which I did at thirty and forty,

525
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,479
Speaker 1: it's like you tend to reflect on like, Okay, where's

526
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 1: life going now.

527
00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 4: It's like that getting to.

528
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:41,520
Speaker 1: The top of the roller coaster, and it's like you're

529
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,320
Speaker 1: looking down and you're looking around, and.

530
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 5: You're like, did I make the right decision?

531
00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: And then you get to the top and it's just

532
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 1: like free falling from there. I've also felt in many

533
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 1: moments too, like did I just not have a chance

534
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 1: to explore? And that's not to explore with other men

535
00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:00,480
Speaker 1: per se or sexually or anything. It's just like, am

536
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 1: I really sure of who I am at this age?

537
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 2: Yeah?

538
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 5: What would I do if my partner wasn't here? Right?

539
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:07,000
Speaker 5: You know?

540
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,920
Speaker 2: What could I do if I wasn't having to consider

541
00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 2: somebody else?

542
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:12,680
Speaker 4: Yeah?

543
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 2: And I think it's really a blessing that she doesn't

544
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,119
Speaker 2: have kids. The reason why I picked this letter is

545
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 2: because I feel like you're kind of at that stage

546
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 2: now where you're like, Okay, let me figure out what

547
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 2: it is that I want to do just for me,

548
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,919
Speaker 2: and I am at the stage where I'm like Okay,

549
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:32,520
Speaker 2: I'm tired of being independent for the bird.

550
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 5: And that's funny.

551
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,080
Speaker 1: I was going to say to you Tribble, like, do

552
00:23:36,119 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 1: you feel that much more fulfilled because you haven't had

553
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:40,320
Speaker 1: to consider anybody else.

554
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,160
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm at the point in my life

555
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 2: where I feel like I've done everything that I've wanted

556
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 2: to do for myself and by myself. That I could

557
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 2: happily go into a season or a new lifetime of

558
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:01,159
Speaker 2: my life considering some one else. I think that that

559
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 2: would be a happy transition for me, because I've spent

560
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 2: all this time doing things that I want just for

561
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 2: me and whatever I want to do whenever I want to.

562
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 4: Do it right.

563
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 2: But I also had times in my early twenties or

564
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 2: my mid twenties, I'll say, like approaching thirty, where I

565
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:17,120
Speaker 2: felt like I was getting too old, it was too

566
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 2: late for me to do certain things.

567
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,439
Speaker 5: My career wasn't where it was supposed to be.

568
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, And after twenty nine things started to move in

569
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 2: a direction because I had been working on it.

570
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 1: Yeah.

571
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 2: So I feel like as long as you come to

572
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 2: the awareness and you start to do something about it,

573
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,280
Speaker 2: you know time it will only get better with time.

574
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 4: That's a good point you made.

575
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,439
Speaker 1: I think there's that mental shift that's happening now for

576
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 1: women particularly. I say that because we have a timeline, right,

577
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 1: especially if you do plan to have children, So you're

578
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 1: looking at this like twenties as the time where you

579
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 1: should be figuring everything out. So by that way, by

580
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 1: the time you're hit thirty, like you should be hitting

581
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 1: the ground running with whatever it is that you want

582
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, but we're finding more and more now

583
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: that people are like delaying that process, and not necessarily

584
00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,840
Speaker 1: because they want to, but it's because they haven't found

585
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 1: the right situation, the right partner. They are, they have

586
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: career goals, financially, associo economically, they just can't do the

587
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,440
Speaker 1: things they want to do. So I feel like our

588
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:17,400
Speaker 1: generations particularly is starting to kind of move the goalposts

589
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: on that timeline a bit. But there's something about that

590
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: like end of twenties, early thirties that really make you

591
00:25:23,119 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 1: feel like, oh my god, I'm running out of time.

592
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 1: But I will say when you hit that mid to

593
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 1: late thirties, hitting forty, you kind of have found your

594
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 1: rhythm and you're like, Oh, all the shit I used

595
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,480
Speaker 1: to worry about before, I'm not really as worried about it.

596
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,800
Speaker 1: Why Because I've put the work in, because I know

597
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,400
Speaker 1: more of what I want. I've had the life experience,

598
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 1: I have the wisdom, you know, I'm in a place

599
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 1: where I can better decide, like, Okay, now here is

600
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: what I want moving forward. So her being thirty six

601
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,840
Speaker 1: now and having like this reflection moment and like feeling like, damn,

602
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,439
Speaker 1: have I done enough? It's still not too late, And

603
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 1: the fact that you have a husband who is supportive,

604
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 1: I think it's worth having the conversation with him.

605
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 2: Absolutely, that's the good thing about it. You don't have

606
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 2: any kids, so it's not like you're held back by.

607
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:07,360
Speaker 1: Anything, right or your fuck ups will then impact exactly anybody.

608
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 5: You can try to do whatever you want to.

609
00:26:10,600 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 2: And your husband, if he's supportive, he's a good husband,

610
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 2: because it sounds like her just wanting to protect his

611
00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 2: feelings even shows that they have and like mutually supportive

612
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 2: emotional relationship, which sure sounds kind of healthy. Yeah, So yeah,

613
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: I think that it would be great for both of them,

614
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 2: because he probably feels that in a way too, Like

615
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,640
Speaker 2: if they've been doing everything together since their early twenties,

616
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 2: he probably feels like, oh, man, I don't really get

617
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 2: to do like this and that they might have. I

618
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 2: don't know if they have friends or if he has

619
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:45,399
Speaker 2: a career that she doesn't feel like she has, but

620
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 2: there's nothing really holding her back from him. Yeah, I

621
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:51,400
Speaker 2: think that maybe they just don't understand because some people

622
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:54,280
Speaker 2: are taught like in relationships, you are with your husband

623
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 2: and that's it. Like I have aunts who one of

624
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 2: my aunts spends like all of her time with her husband,

625
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:02,680
Speaker 2: their best friends. They do everything together and it's cute.

626
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 2: But it's like, I mean, do y'all have friends outside

627
00:27:06,359 --> 00:27:06,480
Speaker 2: of this?

628
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 5: So happy? I mean right?

629
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 1: Like do you shame people? But just like are always

630
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,440
Speaker 1: into each other because like we've had couples that come

631
00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,280
Speaker 1: our you know, friends and stuff like that over the years.

632
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:16,679
Speaker 4: Be like, oh my god, you guys are so obsessed

633
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:19,080
Speaker 4: with each other. Like yeah, like you still do that

634
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 4: for each other, Like y'all still hug on each other.

635
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 1: You know, you have people who judge that, and I'd

636
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: be just like we overhere minding our business, like what's

637
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,960
Speaker 1: the problem. Yeah, but I think the good thing here,

638
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,320
Speaker 1: Like you know, he's twenty nine or they've been together

639
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:33,000
Speaker 1: since twenty nine and twenty three, so it's still relatively

640
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: young as well for a man, so you never know,

641
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 1: since he might be feeling the same way too, there

642
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 1: may be things that he wants to do. And then

643
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 1: I spoke to the val about this recently because we

644
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 1: were joking about how we always have people at our

645
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 1: house like kids, family, whatever, and this is how.

646
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 5: I'd be thinking, like I might have to get in

647
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 5: a foster care soon, aka the residents.

648
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 1: But no, we're just like this always. So I'm here,

649
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,280
Speaker 1: always something happening, something's filmed me, like there's always something here.

650
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:04,439
Speaker 1: And then I look at the house.

651
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 4: And I'm just like, oh my god, Like there's shit

652
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 4: all over the walls.

653
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 1: Like there's the holes from from balls being thrown downstairs

654
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,600
Speaker 1: and all that. And I told Devella, was like, this

655
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 1: is not our house, like we just stay here, like

656
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:18,159
Speaker 1: we just oversee and pay for the footach, you know.

657
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:22,360
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I've never had a chance in life

658
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:25,640
Speaker 1: to just have my own apartment, have my own space.

659
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 1: Like I have a friend who just recently bought a

660
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: condo in Miami and that's like her like second spot

661
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 1: to just go and chill. And I was like I

662
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:34,360
Speaker 1: want that, Like I just want to go and have

663
00:28:34,400 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 1: a spot that I can go to that's like all

664
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 1: white and it's Florida ceiling glass. And but that's a

665
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 1: dream that I've had because I hadn't had that in

666
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 1: my twenties. I wasn't like that single independent woman working,

667
00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 1: which I know that would have probably been my story

668
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 1: had I not met tove Right.

669
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,360
Speaker 5: And that friend too, probably would trade your life.

670
00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:55,120
Speaker 1: That's a fact because she literally said to me, do

671
00:28:55,200 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: you know.

672
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 4: Like I just want to be able to chill something.

673
00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 1: I want to be able to say, you know what,

674
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,160
Speaker 1: I don't want to take that gig because my husband

675
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: got it, like you know, and it's just so much

676
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 1: so crazy how it's like a grass is always greenery

677
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:11,760
Speaker 1: about it. I want troubles fro and I don't have.

678
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:12,720
Speaker 5: That, you know what I'm saying.

679
00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get the things that you got that

680
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 1: I don't. You know what I'm saying.

681
00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 2: It's not knowing all of the work. What's hard about it.

682
00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:21,720
Speaker 2: You get the negative. You just get what looks good

683
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 2: about it and what you don't have. We're always paying

684
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,440
Speaker 2: attention to the things that are not present. That's where

685
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 2: discomfort comes, and that focus on what's not present.

686
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 1: Dis comfort, unhappiness, yes, ful filment, And so we should

687
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:35,200
Speaker 1: be looking at the things that we do.

688
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,960
Speaker 2: Have exactly and how those things can aid you in

689
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 2: your journey wherever you want to go from here. You

690
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,680
Speaker 2: have a supportive husband, you don't have any kids. I

691
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 2: don't know if you have a job. I don't know

692
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 2: if you have friends. But if you do have friends,

693
00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 2: lean on them for support. If you don't have friends,

694
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,320
Speaker 2: lean on your personality. I mean you rode into dead ass.

695
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 2: So you like talking to strangers, you know.

696
00:29:54,600 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 5: What I mean? Family kind of.

697
00:30:00,120 --> 00:30:02,800
Speaker 2: Right now, you do not know these people, but you

698
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 2: can use those same skills.

699
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 5: Like I moved to Rhode Island.

700
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 2: I got on bumble BFF to meet like other black

701
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 2: women in Rhode Island because otherwise it seems like, you know,

702
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 2: black people seem like they live underground in Rhode.

703
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: About to say all the black people in the Rhode Island,

704
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: there are there are, There's like seventy five percent of

705
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: black people in Rhode Island are foreign born.

706
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:22,880
Speaker 5: So there's not really like any African Americans.

707
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: There's a lot of Dominicans, There's a lot of like Haitians,

708
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 2: Cape Verdeans, a lot of Cape Verdians, a lot of Caribbeans,

709
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:39,520
Speaker 2: So yeah, they're somewhere, but I gotta find one exactly exact.

710
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 5: Nigga brick roads, you know what I'm saying.

711
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:49,160
Speaker 2: So that's something you could do, like just you know,

712
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 2: maybe one night you leave your husband at home and

713
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,080
Speaker 2: you go do something with some girls that you need,

714
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 2: or go through something by yourself.

715
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 1: By yourself, because a lot of it seems like a

716
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 1: self discovery for her. That's happening now too, and for

717
00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 1: hubby to not feel at you can approach it like baby, No,

718
00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 1: first of.

719
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 4: All, it's not you and me.

720
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,320
Speaker 1: If you're starting there, they're like, yo, I love the

721
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,240
Speaker 1: life that we're building together. I love that you are

722
00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,520
Speaker 1: supportive and you've provided this lifestyle for me where I

723
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 1: have this level of.

724
00:31:11,320 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 4: Comfort, you know.

725
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: But as I'm just looking at some of the things,

726
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 1: like maybe there's things I want to explore, you never

727
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:17,600
Speaker 1: know he might be able to help facilitate that for

728
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 1: you or do it with you, or whether that's traveling,

729
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: seeing new things, doing new things, like there's a lot

730
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 1: of things. I have a friend of mine who actually

731
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:28,800
Speaker 1: devouts cousin who's doing like forty things before forty oh yeah,

732
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,120
Speaker 1: so like within this thirty ninth year of life, she's

733
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,280
Speaker 1: just trying forty new things cool. And that's the great

734
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 1: part about life. It's like there's always something that you

735
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: can do. There's always a hobby that you can pick up.

736
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: You didn't like shit before, you like it now great, Like, yeah,

737
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: there's so many different things that you can get involved in.

738
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: So I think it's a healthy conversation for you to

739
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 1: have with hubby. And there may be some things that

740
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: you discover about him that he wants to do as

741
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 1: well too, So that way you know he ain't at

742
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 1: the club running up your easy past statement, and that's

743
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: how you find it out he likes club.

744
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

745
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 2: I don't know what a men do when women aren't

746
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 2: in the house by theyself. He might have he might

747
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 2: got a real old fart he's been holding in, you

748
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 2: know what I'm saying, and he wants you to leave

749
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,360
Speaker 2: down so he can let it.

750
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 4: Out or something and then basking it by yeah.

751
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 5: And just smell it like that seems like something men.

752
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 5: I love pretending. I don't get.

753
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 2: Men at all, Like I love pretending, but I also

754
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,280
Speaker 2: like something that I wonder about straight women too, is

755
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 2: do women do straight women feel like they have to

756
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 2: be even if they've been together this long, that they

757
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 2: have to live up to a certain expectation to keep

758
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 2: their man like attracted to them, to keep some type

759
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 2: of like.

760
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 5: Image, you know, because maybe if.

761
00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 2: If she feels that way, maybe she feels closed up

762
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 2: and she needs to like open herself up and not

763
00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,680
Speaker 2: be afraid to even show her partner.

764
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:46,080
Speaker 5: A part of her.

765
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I do feel like I, personally, as a

766
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,160
Speaker 1: straight woman who's married to a man, feel the responsibility

767
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 1: first to myself to just like maintain a level of how.

768
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 5: Do I feel?

769
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: Because if I feel like, if I feel good and

770
00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 1: whether that's physically, mentally, emotionally, inside whatever, then I can

771
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 1: show up better for my partner. But I also do

772
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: feel like a level of responsibility to maintain an image

773
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 1: of like who my husband met like you met me

774
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 1: as a girlfriend, we were winding and dining. I looked

775
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 1: a certain kind of way, like getting back there too

776
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,400
Speaker 1: is important for me for him, But like you said,

777
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,600
Speaker 1: it's like maybe she wants to peel back the layers

778
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:19,400
Speaker 1: of like, Okay, I've been having to maintain this image

779
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,600
Speaker 1: for a while or I don't want to say facade,

780
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: but it's like, you know, you maintain a certain persona

781
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 1: within a relationship, but it's okay to change, It's okay

782
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:29,560
Speaker 1: to evolve. Like the whole point of it is that

783
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: you should, like, you shouldn't be the same person at

784
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 1: twenty three that you are now at thirty six, and

785
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 1: you won't be at forty six.

786
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 4: You know, that's the beauty of life.

787
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:38,479
Speaker 1: So my advice to you as we close out this

788
00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:41,120
Speaker 1: listen another number two and take a quick break, is

789
00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: just to have that conversation with hubby and I think

790
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 1: because you said he's been you've spent those years being

791
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 1: a loving, dedicated partner and you feel like you've lost

792
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: yourself in the process. It's okay to feel like that,

793
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: like you've invested that time. But now see how he

794
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 1: can pour back into you so your cup can be

795
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: filled and overfloweth Darling, do way different, girl, A way.

796
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 1: We're gonna do this break situation real quick, okay, and

797
00:34:02,520 --> 00:34:03,560
Speaker 1: then we're gonna move back.

798
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:07,320
Speaker 4: Into more listening letters with Rebel. Did I say it right?

799
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 5: Trouble, Yeah, I still have. You haven't found the pennies yet?

800
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 1: No, No, I ain't got it.

801
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 4: I'm on now, I got Zell cash quick pay.

802
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 1: We got there's too many options, there's too many options.

803
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,720
Speaker 1: All we're gonna find some money to pay these bills

804
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 1: and we'll be back with more listening letters and ask trouble.

805
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,959
Speaker 1: All right, and we are back chomping at the bits,

806
00:34:37,000 --> 00:34:39,239
Speaker 1: ready to get into this third listening that are you ready, trips.

807
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:39,399
Speaker 5: I'm ready?

808
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 4: All right, let's do it.

809
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:44,080
Speaker 5: Chomping at the bits is wild, Like who says that,

810
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 5: I don't know, I.

811
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:50,760
Speaker 2: Have a whole like library of ship in your mind.

812
00:34:51,080 --> 00:34:55,040
Speaker 2: Then I'd be like, why that's jumping at this?

813
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:55,879
Speaker 5: I don't know.

814
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,320
Speaker 4: As long as it's not showing my age, I'm fine.

815
00:34:58,360 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: That is like I don't want to be like, oh,

816
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 1: like the aunties and aunties be saying like chomping at

817
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 1: the bits.

818
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 5: Like, no, I don't think it's old.

819
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 2: It's like just when you have like a wide vocabulary

820
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 2: of colloquialism, you could be highly relatable to any audience

821
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 2: I love, and you always have something new to say,

822
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:16,359
Speaker 2: like yeah, that's good, that's why you're good at what

823
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 2: you do.

824
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,799
Speaker 5: Come on, give me my flowers. Come on, I'm gonna

825
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 5: big you up. Plant me a garden.

826
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:24,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, listen, when the ship takes off, I want you

827
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:26,040
Speaker 2: to remember these compliments.

828
00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:30,880
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, be like, Triple stop, give me more. Well,

829
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:35,000
Speaker 1: let's be honest, let's be clear. At Stitcher, you did

830
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 1: say that you could see me having a daytime.

831
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,799
Speaker 5: Shit, I did, I really did.

832
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: So Triple was one of the first two to already

833
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,720
Speaker 1: foresee that and manifest.

834
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,400
Speaker 5: Absolutely and then yeah, you know what I'm saying.

835
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 1: I love that for us. And now I was getting

836
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: further affirmations here, like after sitting down, who was it,

837
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 1: I think it was my sister or Be Simo.

838
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,680
Speaker 5: Josh just like hey, like yo.

839
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:57,600
Speaker 1: This is mad good kay, Like I ain't seen you

840
00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: in this light before gay And I was like, thanks, brother.

841
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love it.

842
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 2: And I think I think Be Simone is very good

843
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,440
Speaker 2: at speaking too. But for somebody like her who has

844
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 2: a podcast, who does some of the things that you do.

845
00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:11,759
Speaker 5: To be like, you're great at this.

846
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 1: That's the first thing she said once we were cut,

847
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,080
Speaker 1: and I was like, really, yeah, I'm like things, you know,

848
00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: because I'm a self sabotage. I got imposter syndrome, like

849
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,080
Speaker 1: a mug. I'll be over here doing all the things

850
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,879
Speaker 1: trying to avoid the inevitable. But like she did say,

851
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,399
Speaker 1: and you brought that to light to me this morning again,

852
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 1: like the fear that you have around a certain situation

853
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,239
Speaker 1: is God like pushing you into that more.

854
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:32,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I receive.

855
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 5: All of it.

856
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,399
Speaker 2: And I definitely see myself in your experience in that

857
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:41,400
Speaker 2: specifically because I have that same that hesitation.

858
00:36:42,040 --> 00:36:43,279
Speaker 5: I don't want people.

859
00:36:43,040 --> 00:36:44,839
Speaker 2: To I don't want to be perceived, so I don't

860
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 2: even be wanting to post on the internet. I'd be

861
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 2: scared as hell. But what further you get, the more

862
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 2: you inspired me to go further?

863
00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:53,319
Speaker 1: So, oh, I love that. For we did we just

864
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: have a moment you did, We had a moment on

865
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,000
Speaker 1: camera with y'all. I love that.

866
00:36:58,200 --> 00:36:58,799
Speaker 5: Thank you say.

867
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,320
Speaker 1: We're gonna do this together though we're gonna write this

868
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 1: out together, the whole cruise all here.

869
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 5: I love that.

870
00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 4: All right, Dear Devale KaDee, what dear Devalent Trible? I

871
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 4: Rokadina Trible today.

872
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:12,480
Speaker 1: Rather, I first want to say, I love you both

873
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,800
Speaker 1: so much, and I've been following your journeys since black

874
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: love as a millennial who aspires to be happily married.

875
00:37:17,640 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 1: I genuinely respect and value your perspective and outlook on

876
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:21,399
Speaker 1: healthy relationships.

877
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 4: Thank you.

878
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 1: Therefore, I would like to hear your opinion and advice

879
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,720
Speaker 1: on my current situation. So you're gonna get married and single? Okay, okay.

880
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,719
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty seven year old black woman and my

881
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: boyfriend of almost three years is thirty three. We met

882
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 1: at my old job, which I quit almost a year

883
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: ago due to burnout. My boyfriend does not make nearly

884
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 1: as much as I used to. We worked in the

885
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: same building, but held different positions. Since I quit my job,

886
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:48,120
Speaker 1: I've been focusing on building my business while utilizing side

887
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:52,800
Speaker 1: hustles to keep my business my bills paid. I et uber, lift, tutoring,

888
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: freelance jobs, etc. So my boyfriend and I have recently

889
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: moved in together a couple of months ago to help

890
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: alleviate some of our financial stress.

891
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 4: Smart.

892
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,200
Speaker 1: He is also offered to pay the full rent as

893
00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,240
Speaker 1: opposed to going half like we agreed, because he understands

894
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 1: that my money is funny right now. This brings me

895
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 1: to my question, how do we prioritize quality time with

896
00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: a very limited resources living while living together? We often

897
00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,359
Speaker 1: argue about this because he feels like we need money

898
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,600
Speaker 1: to go out on nice dates or do stuff, do

899
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 1: fun stuff. On the other hand, I can care more

900
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:29,400
Speaker 1: about the quality time instead instead of wait, hold on, sorry,

901
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 1: you know I've been making up words while I read.

902
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: I care more about the quality time itself than the

903
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:37,439
Speaker 1: money aspect. The most effort he'll make is putting something

904
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 1: on Netflix for us to watch. Dating during quarantine and

905
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 1: now living together has me Netflix and chilled out. I

906
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 1: know it's only temporary, but I do want. I do

907
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 1: not want our lack of money to negatively impact our relationship.

908
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 1: Should I just suck it up and be patient? Am

909
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,880
Speaker 1: I asking too much of him right now? Please help?

910
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,000
Speaker 1: First of all, could be.

911
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,520
Speaker 5: Words that are not on the pit that is absolutely true.

912
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: Reading along like it doesn't say that that's not what.

913
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 1: It is, almost as I you know what happens. I'm

914
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,319
Speaker 1: building the story in my mind, so I'm already like

915
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: reading the story before it happened, and then I get

916
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 1: caught up when I actually get back to the script.

917
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:17,960
Speaker 1: Let me stop doing that. That's a bad habit of mind.

918
00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: And I do tend to read fast. That's my other problem.

919
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 1: Listen to me, brain me and talk fast, read fast,

920
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 1: walk fast.

921
00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 2: All that stuff on the other hand, my brain moves

922
00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:27,719
Speaker 2: very slow, so I'd be getting everywhere.

923
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 5: Mentioned up later.

924
00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 1: And bitch can't read, especially if I have to read

925
00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: too much. I told you already, I was the kid

926
00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 1: that used to practice reading beforehand. And you know in

927
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: class when you got to my portion of the passage,

928
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 1: I'm in bad When somebody didn't get in the lineup.

929
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:43,480
Speaker 4: It was, It's bad. It's bad, all right.

930
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 1: So to answer this girl's question today to I don't

931
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,239
Speaker 1: think you necessarily have to be married per se to

932
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 1: have an opinion about this here too, I think you

933
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 1: guys are making, first off, the right decisions for the

934
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: financial portion of the relationship. Right so, right now, your

935
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 1: money's a little funny, like you said, so deciding to

936
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: get together. It's awesome that he's paying the entire rent

937
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:05,360
Speaker 1: while you get your situation together as well too. But

938
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:08,120
Speaker 1: it seems like their value in what or their idea

939
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:11,000
Speaker 1: of what quality time looks like is different. Are you

940
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 1: guys accustomed to doing more lavish more you know, outside

941
00:40:15,880 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: that require money date night situations or not?

942
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:21,320
Speaker 4: What's your take on these trips?

943
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:21,680
Speaker 1: Yeah?

944
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 2: I picked this letter because in my previous relationship we

945
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:27,359
Speaker 2: had kind of this issue where.

946
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,600
Speaker 5: We were bored. Like a lot of time we.

947
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:33,279
Speaker 2: Would like spend weekends just watching movies, and a lot

948
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:34,960
Speaker 2: of that time would be because I'm like I don't

949
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,359
Speaker 2: want to spend money, and I make more money than her,

950
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:40,239
Speaker 2: and she pays more bills than I do, so when

951
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,440
Speaker 2: we did go on dates, I would feel like I

952
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 2: need to pay. We would go like out to dinner

953
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 2: and eat everly nice places and you know, spend one

954
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:49,719
Speaker 2: hundred and fifty two hundred dollars on dinner or something

955
00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,760
Speaker 2: like that, like you know, maybe a couple times a month, okay,

956
00:40:52,840 --> 00:40:54,600
Speaker 2: but if you don't have that, I think that the

957
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 2: burden does fall on one person sometimes to be the

958
00:40:58,560 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 2: one who can actually go find something to do.

959
00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 5: That's the hardest part.

960
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,799
Speaker 2: Like people get overwhelmed with like, well how do I

961
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,920
Speaker 2: find something fun to do, and they just don't do it.

962
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:09,400
Speaker 5: Don't do it?

963
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:10,759
Speaker 4: Ye just end up not doing it?

964
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:11,520
Speaker 5: Yeah, exactly.

965
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: And it also is I think a difference in mindset

966
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,280
Speaker 1: of like what the quality time looks like. So, for example,

967
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 1: in your previous relationship, did you differ on like what

968
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 1: that quality time looks like where you just felt like,

969
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:22,560
Speaker 1: you know what, as long as we're together doing something,

970
00:41:23,239 --> 00:41:24,200
Speaker 1: it is quality time.

971
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I felt like, as long as we're together doing something,

972
00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:29,920
Speaker 2: it's quality time. I think that she had kind of

973
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 2: an idea in her mind about what I thought was fun.

974
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:35,200
Speaker 2: You know, that kind of made her a little bit

975
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 2: unable to like step up to the plate, right, And

976
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 2: then we would like Netflix.

977
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:40,839
Speaker 5: And Jill a lot.

978
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,960
Speaker 2: We like different movies, but we would kind of switch

979
00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:44,840
Speaker 2: off on who kicks with you know what I'm saying,

980
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 2: So because you also want to get to know your

981
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:48,359
Speaker 2: partner by.

982
00:41:48,520 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 5: Getting to know what they like.

983
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, but there's a lot of free things to do

984
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 2: in every city where you don't have to spend money,

985
00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 2: or you can take what you're already spending money on

986
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 2: and making.

987
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:58,800
Speaker 5: Activity out of it.

988
00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 2: Like it's when it's warmer going into the fall, farmers

989
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 2: markets are popping up in cities. Yeah, there are in

990
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 2: the summertime. There's like festivals in most cities that you

991
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,040
Speaker 2: can go you don't have to spend any money, open

992
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 2: and stuff like that picnic where you take your groceries,

993
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 2: you know, maybe buy a bottle of wine to spend

994
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:16,759
Speaker 2: a lot of.

995
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 5: Money on that.

996
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 2: The one thing we would try to like play games,

997
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 2: but it's hard to play games with just two.

998
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 1: You know what, im who's gonna be the banker?

999
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:31,120
Speaker 5: It don't work.

1000
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 2: So I definitely would rather be outside, Like let's find

1001
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,160
Speaker 2: a new part of the city that we haven't been to,

1002
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:39,839
Speaker 2: or a park that we haven't been to, a hike

1003
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 2: that we haven't done. Let's go in a group like

1004
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,280
Speaker 2: we go on, well we used to before I got dumped.

1005
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 1: Wait you were the dump e.

1006
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1007
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,640
Speaker 2: I've never broken up with anybody, so allest advice I'm

1008
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 2: giving all about leaving people, don't.

1009
00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,880
Speaker 5: I've never done zero experience.

1010
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:02,080
Speaker 2: Oh man, But like group rides. Group you got a bike,

1011
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:05,279
Speaker 2: you on a bike ride. That's fun, that's fun. You know,

1012
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 2: We're sorry, go ahead. Free from before, there's a lot

1013
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,480
Speaker 2: of things that you could do for free or with

1014
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 2: little money, even like in Chicago, I don't know what

1015
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 2: city they live in, but in Chicago they used to

1016
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,879
Speaker 2: have brands would come to Chicago a lot and throw

1017
00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 2: like brand events where you can try whatever like product

1018
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 2: they have, and they would collaborate with local artists and

1019
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 2: local creators to create some type of like activation.

1020
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 5: And it was pretty much finding what your interest is. Yeah,

1021
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,399
Speaker 5: you know there usually it's like liquor sponsors or something

1022
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 5: like that.

1023
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 2: I hello, and then you go home and a drunk

1024
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 2: night at all with us unless y'all mad each other,

1025
00:43:43,520 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 2: y'all arguing and cry.

1026
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,239
Speaker 1: Unless you're like me and I fall asleep because I'd

1027
00:43:48,280 --> 00:43:50,800
Speaker 1: be having like a two drink next to the already

1028
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,440
Speaker 1: know he's like depending on the drink and where we

1029
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:54,200
Speaker 1: go in and how long to ride his home. Baby,

1030
00:43:54,239 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: I got bit about this much window before she is

1031
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:58,000
Speaker 1: knocked out.

1032
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:01,080
Speaker 4: There's no return, there's no return.

1033
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: But you know, you're absolutely right about that. I have

1034
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,040
Speaker 1: a friend of mine, actually a couple that I know,

1035
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 1: and they are always outside, like always doing something, and

1036
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 1: it's just sometimes likes you said, it's just like they're

1037
00:44:13,560 --> 00:44:16,319
Speaker 1: at some like you know, ice cream pop up in

1038
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:19,360
Speaker 1: the park, or like they're sitting down on the grass,

1039
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 1: like you know, playing cards. And what forced Devalen I

1040
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: to do that too was COVID, Like we were tired.

1041
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 4: Of each other sitting in that house just looking at

1042
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:27,839
Speaker 4: each other.

1043
00:44:27,840 --> 00:44:30,080
Speaker 1: You got the kids everywhere, so we would just go

1044
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:31,799
Speaker 1: back to the basics, like what did we like to

1045
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:34,720
Speaker 1: do before we had money. Yeah, we like to play cards,

1046
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 1: we like to eat, just chill we put on Freaking

1047
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,719
Speaker 1: R and B Nineties Your Nineties R and B, and

1048
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 1: we would just take drives, put the windows down, put

1049
00:44:43,320 --> 00:44:46,640
Speaker 1: our feet up, start snacking on some stuff, play some cards,

1050
00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 1: play some music, sing at the top of our lungs.

1051
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,399
Speaker 1: You know, there's so many different ways that you can

1052
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,360
Speaker 1: spend quality time, but it may be worth having the

1053
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: conversation with your partner to say, you know, what, what

1054
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 1: does quality time look like to you? And divalon I

1055
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 1: have disagree is as well when it comes to quality

1056
00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: out of time because for me, sometimes quality time is

1057
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,760
Speaker 1: like we're in the same space, we're in the same room.

1058
00:45:06,920 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 4: Like that to me is like, okay, we're together, right.

1059
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,880
Speaker 1: But Devo likes active quality time where he feels like

1060
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:16,800
Speaker 1: we are actually connected, we are actually having a discussion,

1061
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,359
Speaker 1: they are actually touching and feeling like that for him

1062
00:45:20,480 --> 00:45:23,640
Speaker 1: is quality time because we're engaged and locked in. So

1063
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:25,759
Speaker 1: sometimes I'm like, babe, we've been hanging out together, like

1064
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 1: I've been on a couch watch the TV. But but

1065
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,359
Speaker 1: He's like that to me is not necessarily quality time

1066
00:45:30,440 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 1: because we're not engaged with eat each other. So it

1067
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,799
Speaker 1: might be worth having the conversation to say, you know

1068
00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 1: what what does that look like for you, and then

1069
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 1: expressing to him like, Yo, we don't have to spend

1070
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,320
Speaker 1: money all the time if we're going to be saving

1071
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: and you're making the sacrifice right now because this is the.

1072
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 4: Season of life that you're in.

1073
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 1: Because every relationship, every person has that sacrificial season, and

1074
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 1: they'd be maybe several throughout life where you have to

1075
00:45:52,239 --> 00:45:53,960
Speaker 1: just buckle down and say this is what it is

1076
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,279
Speaker 1: right now, and it forces you to be creative, but

1077
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,320
Speaker 1: it's also setting you up for more in the future,

1078
00:45:58,680 --> 00:45:58,920
Speaker 1: you know.

1079
00:45:59,120 --> 00:46:02,600
Speaker 2: So I will say I have three pieces of advice

1080
00:46:03,040 --> 00:46:05,399
Speaker 2: for cheap dates and figuring out how to do more

1081
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 2: consistent dates.

1082
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 4: I love actionable list.

1083
00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:13,879
Speaker 2: So and I will say cheap not necessarily free. One

1084
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 2: of them is there's a lot of games out there now.

1085
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 2: We have one called I think it's just called where

1086
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:20,160
Speaker 2: Should We Begin.

1087
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 5: It's Esther Perell.

1088
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:26,279
Speaker 2: She's a famous couples therapy relationships therapist. She has a

1089
00:46:26,320 --> 00:46:29,040
Speaker 2: card game that has questions, so you get to kind

1090
00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:32,040
Speaker 2: of engage there. There's like prompts and then you have

1091
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 2: your own prompts and you answer based on what your

1092
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:36,879
Speaker 2: prompts are. So that helps you to actually connect. Even

1093
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,759
Speaker 2: if y'all are having a Netflix and Chill night and

1094
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 2: you say, Okay, while we're having you know, in between episodes,

1095
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 2: let's pull a card or something like that where we

1096
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 2: can actually talk and connect, because maybe that is the

1097
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,040
Speaker 2: thing about Netflix and Chilling, because you're just sitting there

1098
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 2: not talking talking exactly.

1099
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,439
Speaker 1: It's like blending it in conversation game.

1100
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I don't want to spend the money on

1101
00:46:58,400 --> 00:47:00,000
Speaker 2: it because it's probably maybe twenty five dollars.

1102
00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 5: Make one yourself.

1103
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:06,200
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's probably googleable too, right.

1104
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,399
Speaker 2: I made a game one time, Yeah, a conversation game.

1105
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,399
Speaker 2: There's also one called The End that's for relationships. Red

1106
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 2: Table Talk has won. There's a bunch of them, but

1107
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 2: that's one thing. Two is subscribe to your local newspaper

1108
00:47:19,680 --> 00:47:24,359
Speaker 2: because newspapers are yes, I don't get the I don't

1109
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 2: get the physical I get the digital version. Because every

1110
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 2: week usually there's always like a culture reporter and they're

1111
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 2: going to report on what's going on in your city.

1112
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,640
Speaker 2: So if there's a new art installation, if there's an

1113
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:40,800
Speaker 2: event coming up, if there's a new venue or restaurant

1114
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 2: or something like that, they're going to write about it.

1115
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:45,920
Speaker 2: So you always know, like what's on the post in

1116
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 2: your city, but there's also usually a list, like a

1117
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:50,879
Speaker 2: roundup of what's going on this week, and it's stuff

1118
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:53,799
Speaker 2: that you probably wouldn't think to do, so you'll be

1119
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,440
Speaker 2: able to create new.

1120
00:47:57,840 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 5: Experiences.

1121
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 1: It's interesting you said that because I was actually looking

1122
00:48:00,440 --> 00:48:02,640
Speaker 1: for the kids for that. You know, still like being

1123
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:04,399
Speaker 1: from New York and now here only three years, it's

1124
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 1: still like a lot of things I don't know, they

1125
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,279
Speaker 1: haven't seen a lot of like what's in our quote

1126
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 1: unquote backyard. So I just like google literally things to

1127
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,759
Speaker 1: do in the area for kids, and there's so many

1128
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:16,920
Speaker 1: things that was stuff for adults, like, yeah, that's a

1129
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:18,680
Speaker 1: good idea, the local newspaper. I don't even think of that.

1130
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, Google is a good one. Instagram is also good.

1131
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:24,359
Speaker 2: If you search hashtags like hashtag your city, hashtag like

1132
00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:29,520
Speaker 2: your city and something you're interested in doing, like Atlanta

1133
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,880
Speaker 2: nightlife or gay Atlanta or you know, whatever it is

1134
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 2: that you're interested in.

1135
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:35,760
Speaker 5: Follow those hashtags and you'll.

1136
00:48:35,600 --> 00:48:38,720
Speaker 2: Start to see like posts or look at who uses

1137
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 2: them and follow those if they're like event hosts or whatever,

1138
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 2: then you'll start to see like what's going on.

1139
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:47,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, the algorithm. Algorithm will push it your way for sure.

1140
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:49,200
Speaker 1: It's funny, Mom and I was talking to my mom

1141
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:50,879
Speaker 1: about date nights and stuff. I'm like, yeah, I'm trying

1142
00:48:50,880 --> 00:48:52,759
Speaker 1: to find some pluf for date nights. So I got

1143
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:54,400
Speaker 1: me me on the prow. Maybe be sending to me

1144
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 1: all the dms like here's a nice date night spot.

1145
00:48:56,680 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: Try something new here, you know. So yeah, they're out there.

1146
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 2: To sign up for a couple of newsletters. So you

1147
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:04,759
Speaker 2: get those emails and you know. The third thing is

1148
00:49:04,880 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 2: create a shared calendar and start putting those events that

1149
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:07,959
Speaker 2: you find.

1150
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 5: Even if you're not able to go.

1151
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:11,240
Speaker 2: If there's like a weekly something or a monthly something,

1152
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:13,319
Speaker 2: just put it on the calendar so that you know,

1153
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:14,960
Speaker 2: if you're bored on a Saturday night, you take a

1154
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 2: look at the calendar and say, oh, this is happening tonight,

1155
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 2: let's go, let's just check it out.

1156
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:22,799
Speaker 1: Let's just check it out. I have an open mind, right,

1157
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 1: exactly right, And if the event sucks, what do you do?

1158
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 1: Leave exactly and go home Netflix and.

1159
00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 5: Talk about it. That's another way to connect. That's how

1160
00:49:30,760 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 5: you can.

1161
00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: Trash the event was exactly all right, awesome, good luck

1162
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: to you guys as you kind of rebuild, and I

1163
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 1: hope you find a really good job soon where you

1164
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 1: can get back on your feet and you can have

1165
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:42,840
Speaker 1: those nice date nice.

1166
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:44,439
Speaker 5: That you used to. You need to get a job.

1167
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:45,239
Speaker 5: That's number one.

1168
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 2: Let's be worried about date night. You need to be

1169
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:50,640
Speaker 2: working on your resume. Let's have a date night where

1170
00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:51,120
Speaker 2: we apply.

1171
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:55,320
Speaker 5: That's heavy as.

1172
00:49:55,239 --> 00:49:59,839
Speaker 1: Fuck, heavy assay in that one triple way to bring

1173
00:49:59,880 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 1: our back to reality. Oh my gosh, all right, hey

1174
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,040
Speaker 1: Kadeen in treble, what you know?

1175
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 4: First off, I want to say I love y'all. I

1176
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:10,959
Speaker 4: feel like y'all are my older cousins or something.

1177
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,719
Speaker 1: Okay, I'll tak an older cousin as long as you

1178
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,960
Speaker 1: can't call me on all right. Yeah, I need some

1179
00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: advice on how to get rid of this sadness and

1180
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: anger I've built.

1181
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:20,640
Speaker 5: Up towards my dad.

1182
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 1: Oh okay, I feel that it is ruining a lot

1183
00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,840
Speaker 1: of my friendships, relationships and more. A lot of people

1184
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: tell me the first sign of a little trouble I

1185
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 1: take off. Not too long ago, I was locked up

1186
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,600
Speaker 1: in the hospital for suicidal thoughts.

1187
00:50:35,680 --> 00:50:36,120
Speaker 4: Oh man.

1188
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,279
Speaker 1: As I started talking to my therapist, there were a

1189
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:42,200
Speaker 1: lot of things I had to unpack. One of those

1190
00:50:42,239 --> 00:50:44,800
Speaker 1: things was how I feel towards my dad. My therapist

1191
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 1: then told me the only way I can get past

1192
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:49,800
Speaker 1: this is if I had a conversation with my dad.

1193
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:53,200
Speaker 1: I asked if he could go, could do therapy, a

1194
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: therapy session with me, and he refused. The whole time

1195
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:58,120
Speaker 1: I was locked up in the hospital, he did not

1196
00:50:58,160 --> 00:51:01,640
Speaker 1: come or talked to me on the phone. Now, there

1197
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 1: are a couple of reasons why I feel this anger

1198
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,759
Speaker 1: towards my dad. When I was a child and I

1199
00:51:05,800 --> 00:51:08,319
Speaker 1: would make him mad, he used to call me a

1200
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:11,839
Speaker 1: fat ass. I got picked on at school for being

1201
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 1: fat all the time, but to hear it at home

1202
00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:16,440
Speaker 1: was worse. Man, I'm not going to say that I

1203
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:19,360
Speaker 1: was all innocent, because I was not. I'm an aries

1204
00:51:20,360 --> 00:51:22,919
Speaker 1: the bell, and one thing about us is we're going

1205
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:23,760
Speaker 1: to say what's.

1206
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 5: On our mind. That's absolutely.

1207
00:51:27,640 --> 00:51:30,720
Speaker 1: To others it may sound harsh, but we're just brutally honest.

1208
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,680
Speaker 1: So I was washing dishes, talking junk about him, acting

1209
00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 1: like my sister and I were his slaves that.

1210
00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:39,839
Speaker 4: He could clean up. Sometimes. He told me that's what

1211
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:44,359
Speaker 4: he had kids for. Man, Man, I.

1212
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:46,839
Speaker 1: Didn't mind cleaning but some days I would finish washing

1213
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 1: dishes and he would go cool a cook, go and

1214
00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:52,719
Speaker 1: cook a full course meal, and it would only be

1215
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:55,360
Speaker 1: for him. He then would leave all the dishes in

1216
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,600
Speaker 1: the sing for me or my sister to wash them.

1217
00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:01,279
Speaker 1: So this particular day I was going back and forth

1218
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,919
Speaker 1: with him. As I was washing the dishes. I said

1219
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,359
Speaker 1: something really smart, and he said, who do you think

1220
00:52:06,400 --> 00:52:09,600
Speaker 1: you are? I said my full name and said that

1221
00:52:09,600 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 1: that's who I am. He slapped me in my face.

1222
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,399
Speaker 1: I was so shocked and hurt, but I slapped him back.

1223
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:18,840
Speaker 1: Then he grabbed me by the throat and started choking me.

1224
00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:21,480
Speaker 1: Oh lord, I grabbed a knife and put it by

1225
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:23,120
Speaker 1: his throat so he would let me go.

1226
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 4: Man.

1227
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:29,560
Speaker 1: Now, when we didn't wash the dishes, take the garbage out,

1228
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 1: garbage out, or do the laundry, he would call us

1229
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:36,560
Speaker 1: some lazy whoes, lazy hoes, or worse. It wouldn't apologize

1230
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 1: and try to do better. It was an ongoing thing.

1231
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:42,520
Speaker 1: He would wait two or three days after something major

1232
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:44,840
Speaker 1: happened and try to give us money or take us

1233
00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:47,480
Speaker 1: out to eat. When we would bring it up, he

1234
00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 1: would do that he could do better. He would say,

1235
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 1: well at least I stayed unlike my dad. Wow, so

1236
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,960
Speaker 1: he have his own dad issues. My mama is in

1237
00:52:57,239 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 1: my life. They're actually married, but he never did those

1238
00:53:00,680 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 1: things in front of her. I would cause I was wondering, like,

1239
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 1: where's mommy future? She was just raised by dad, but

1240
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:07,839
Speaker 1: mom was there. I would ask her why she's still

1241
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,279
Speaker 1: married to him because they sleep in separate rooms. She

1242
00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 1: would say, your dad is not that bad. You have

1243
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:17,879
Speaker 1: some kids. Oh, you have some kids that get raped

1244
00:53:17,920 --> 00:53:20,040
Speaker 1: and stuff by their father. Wow, that's so, that's the

1245
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:23,359
Speaker 1: quote what her mom would say to her. Well, we

1246
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,759
Speaker 1: all still live together, but we don't talk to him.

1247
00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:27,719
Speaker 1: I feel like a father is supposed to teach his

1248
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,839
Speaker 1: daughters how a man should treat her. My sister has

1249
00:53:30,880 --> 00:53:33,640
Speaker 1: two real had had two real relationships that have ended

1250
00:53:33,680 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 1: because the guys were abusive. I know I don't want that,

1251
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 1: but it seems like that's all we attract. No, I

1252
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,080
Speaker 1: don't want to be in the club when we don't

1253
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:47,239
Speaker 1: find No, I don't be in the club when these

1254
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:51,280
Speaker 1: guys find us. We are in restaurants, movies, stores, and college.

1255
00:53:52,560 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 2: So she's basically trying to figure out how not to

1256
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,440
Speaker 2: be pissed off as somebody who keeps pissing her off.

1257
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 5: Wow. I picked this one because heavy, heavy, heavy stuff.

1258
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is way heavier than anything I've ever been

1259
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,279
Speaker 2: through my parents, except for my dad calls me fat

1260
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 2: every time I see him.

1261
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,399
Speaker 4: I mean at this point too, that's like a term

1262
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 4: of endearment.

1263
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:15,680
Speaker 1: I feel like even with like within my culture, it's

1264
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:17,439
Speaker 1: like when you see someone that is like, wow, girl,

1265
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:19,720
Speaker 1: get the infect it. Look you're looking healthy.

1266
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 5: That's like a sign of like happiness. And I'm like, no, no,

1267
00:54:24,360 --> 00:54:25,239
Speaker 5: that's not what he's saying.

1268
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 2: That's because I've always been very small, like I'm pa

1269
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:35,200
Speaker 2: teen in then, and so my dad and my dad

1270
00:54:35,280 --> 00:54:38,760
Speaker 2: does not know how to show loving kindness, like affection.

1271
00:54:39,600 --> 00:54:42,560
Speaker 2: He thinks that he's being funny and he's really just

1272
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:43,320
Speaker 2: being mean.

1273
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,640
Speaker 1: Right or is he trying to like share truth in

1274
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:48,359
Speaker 1: es that's like really not just it's mean.

1275
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:49,080
Speaker 5: It's just mean.

1276
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:51,240
Speaker 2: He doesn't know he he does a lot of Somebody

1277
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:54,399
Speaker 2: was saying, like they have to say, honey. I think

1278
00:54:54,440 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 2: Jazzy was saying that he gives a lot of vinegar.

1279
00:54:56,680 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 2: My dad is vinegar a lot of But I have

1280
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:05,880
Speaker 2: just learned to either not respond or to be like

1281
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:07,319
Speaker 2: I don't talk to.

1282
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:07,719
Speaker 5: Me that way.

1283
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:08,680
Speaker 1: Does it really bother you?

1284
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:10,840
Speaker 5: Though? Yeah, it does it used too.

1285
00:55:10,920 --> 00:55:12,640
Speaker 2: Now it's just kind of annoying because I'm just like,

1286
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:14,719
Speaker 2: why don't you think of anything else to say? Right?

1287
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 5: This is the first thing.

1288
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:17,239
Speaker 2: I don't live at home, you know, so when I

1289
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:20,040
Speaker 2: see my dad, it would be nice for him to say, oh,

1290
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,319
Speaker 2: it's good to see you, but to say I see

1291
00:55:22,360 --> 00:55:25,279
Speaker 2: you're getting fatter, and I'd be like, what the fuck?

1292
00:55:25,440 --> 00:55:28,200
Speaker 1: Bro? So, how is your relationship been with him? Just

1293
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:30,439
Speaker 1: like growing up? Has it been a thing where it's

1294
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 1: been a bit tumultuous or like he just has always

1295
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:33,560
Speaker 1: had like.

1296
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:37,600
Speaker 2: A We've had our tumultuous times. He's definitely not like this,

1297
00:55:37,800 --> 00:55:41,360
Speaker 2: like right, not abusive, not abusive. He's you know, more

1298
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 2: of a caretaker than this, you know, but it's just

1299
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:45,760
Speaker 2: not affectionate.

1300
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 1: Yes.

1301
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,120
Speaker 2: And my mom in the same way she grew up,

1302
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:51,359
Speaker 2: she was mean to us growing up, And so I

1303
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 2: have had to talk to many a therapist about my

1304
00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:57,440
Speaker 2: relationship with my mother. And something that they say that

1305
00:55:57,520 --> 00:55:59,600
Speaker 2: I hate to hear is like, you're an adult now,

1306
00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:04,080
Speaker 2: child anymore. You get to decide what to do with

1307
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:06,759
Speaker 2: this relationship. You don't have to sit there and take it.

1308
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 2: You don't have to put yourself in a position that

1309
00:56:09,120 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 2: feels bad for you, but you do have to take

1310
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:15,120
Speaker 2: care of yourself. That's your responsibility now it's no longer

1311
00:56:15,160 --> 00:56:16,160
Speaker 2: their responsibility.

1312
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 1: It's funny you say that, because the first thing that

1313
00:56:18,320 --> 00:56:20,440
Speaker 1: came to mind to me is like, I don't care

1314
00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:23,080
Speaker 1: the fact that he's your father, Like fuck that, nigga,

1315
00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:26,359
Speaker 1: Like why should you still subject yourself to this kind

1316
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:29,440
Speaker 1: of treatment, especially because you were clearly abused, Yes, as

1317
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,840
Speaker 1: a child, it's clear that your father was also abused

1318
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:36,279
Speaker 1: in some capacity as a child, And to him, it's like,

1319
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 1: I'm here and my father wasn't so be happy for that.

1320
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:42,280
Speaker 1: I had you here to take care of me, because

1321
00:56:42,280 --> 00:56:45,920
Speaker 1: he probably has his own abandonment issues with his mother, father, whoever,

1322
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:47,719
Speaker 1: whatever his situation was growing up.

1323
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 4: And I applaud you, says for being in.

1324
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:52,640
Speaker 1: Therapy now because you're trying to work through these things,

1325
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 1: because I hate to hear that you've had suicidal thoughts.

1326
00:56:55,239 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 1: You were locked up in the hospital, your father didn't

1327
00:56:57,040 --> 00:56:59,640
Speaker 1: care to come and show up. It's probably also him too,

1328
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 1: knowing what drove you there, and he doesn't want to

1329
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:05,279
Speaker 1: face that either you know, but I'm at the point

1330
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:07,680
Speaker 1: now and it could just be you know, forty year

1331
00:57:07,680 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 1: Oldkidinge or I'm just like I don't care who you are, Like,

1332
00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:12,840
Speaker 1: I don't have to subject myself to being in your presence.

1333
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:14,160
Speaker 4: I have boundaries.

1334
00:57:14,480 --> 00:57:16,000
Speaker 1: If you don't want to respect them, I'm going to

1335
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 1: still enforce them anyway and just make sure that I'm

1336
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:21,560
Speaker 1: living in accordance. What makes me insane? You know, at

1337
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 1: the very least, your sanity at this point should be priceless.

1338
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 1: And it's crazy that you feel like, you know, damn,

1339
00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 1: this is my parent. Clearly her mom too as well,

1340
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:34,000
Speaker 1: having to kind of see this stuff happening from the sidelines.

1341
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:35,520
Speaker 1: I know she said a lot of things didn't happen

1342
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:38,320
Speaker 1: at least to her mother's knowledge in front of her mom.

1343
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 1: But you know, there's some abuse probably going on to

1344
00:57:40,840 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 1: with mom and dad, Like there are separate rooms for

1345
00:57:42,720 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 1: a reason. You know, mom probably knows exactly who she's

1346
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 1: dealing with as well too. And if her response is like,

1347
00:57:48,040 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 1: your dad's not that bad some kids have are they

1348
00:57:50,080 --> 00:57:51,480
Speaker 1: getting raped and stuff by their father?

1349
00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 4: Like how is that a response to your daughter.

1350
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 2: Which sounds like your abuse up to a certain point, right,

1351
00:57:58,600 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 2: instead of recognizing that trauma is all relative, you know

1352
00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, and that shouldn't be happening either.

1353
00:58:05,120 --> 00:58:06,560
Speaker 5: Rape should be happening, you know what I'm saying.

1354
00:58:06,560 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 2: Sexual abuse shouldn't be happening, but neither should verbal or

1355
00:58:08,840 --> 00:58:10,439
Speaker 2: physical abuse either.

1356
00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:11,920
Speaker 5: Like, none of that is acceptable.

1357
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 2: And some people just have stayed in the situations so

1358
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:17,720
Speaker 2: long that they've learned to accept it.

1359
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:19,400
Speaker 5: And that's what you don't want to do.

1360
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 4: Don't have to be.

1361
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 5: It doesn't have to be.

1362
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:24,320
Speaker 2: But the longer you stay in it, the longer it's

1363
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:27,000
Speaker 2: going to become your normal. I also had to learn

1364
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,680
Speaker 2: that your body. There's a book called The Body Keeps

1365
00:58:29,680 --> 00:58:34,640
Speaker 2: the Score, and that's literally what happens when you get

1366
00:58:34,680 --> 00:58:38,280
Speaker 2: around your father or somebody who has done you wrong

1367
00:58:38,760 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 2: in a way, especially if it's a physical abuse situation.

1368
00:58:41,160 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 5: Your body is going to react before your mind does.

1369
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:45,920
Speaker 2: So, even if you're in the house and you feel like, oh,

1370
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:48,560
Speaker 2: I'm not talking to him, you know, and that's fine,

1371
00:58:48,760 --> 00:58:53,160
Speaker 2: it's not I'm sure you feel tense when I'm sure

1372
00:58:53,160 --> 00:58:57,680
Speaker 2: those suicidal ideations are coming from your body reacting to this,

1373
00:58:57,920 --> 00:59:00,080
Speaker 2: to the environment that you're in with the person and

1374
00:59:00,160 --> 00:59:01,840
Speaker 2: that you're with the abuser.

1375
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:02,960
Speaker 5: Your body is.

1376
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 2: Saying like you're in danger, and your mind reacting to

1377
00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 2: that is giving you these like thoughts of sadness and

1378
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 2: depression and wanting to end your life because you are

1379
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:16,960
Speaker 2: in a dangerous situation that you cannot get yourself out of.

1380
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:17,760
Speaker 5: You know what I'm saying.

1381
00:59:17,800 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 2: Your body is like, this is mortal danger because we're here.

1382
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 2: We're stuck here, you know what I'm saying. So I

1383
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:27,600
Speaker 2: would say you have to find a way to separate yourself,

1384
00:59:28,320 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 2: at least for a time, from your dad, you know,

1385
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,680
Speaker 2: and from the things that aren't healthy for your mental health.

1386
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wonder how old this person that she sounds young?

1387
00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, she didn't give it any age here because I

1388
00:59:40,360 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 1: was wondering to at this point, you know, can she

1389
00:59:42,680 --> 00:59:45,160
Speaker 1: separate herself? Can she be in a different environment. Can

1390
00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:47,120
Speaker 1: she move out and live with, you know, someone else.

1391
00:59:47,200 --> 00:59:49,040
Speaker 1: Can you be on your own for a little bit,

1392
00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:51,280
Speaker 1: Like to me, I think that would be the first

1393
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 1: step in creating that boundary where you have it's the

1394
00:59:53,520 --> 00:59:56,920
Speaker 1: sane space to exist where you live, Like when you

1395
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:59,919
Speaker 1: walk through your front door, whatever those four walls look

1396
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,640
Speaker 1: like for you should be a safe space exactly, and

1397
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:04,919
Speaker 1: a haven for you, not somewhere that you go to

1398
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 1: to further elevate your anxiety.

1399
01:00:07,440 --> 01:00:07,560
Speaker 2: Right.

1400
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, So good luck to you, sis as you try

1401
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:11,520
Speaker 1: to navigate what this would look like.

1402
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 4: But I think you're in the right place. First off.

1403
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:16,920
Speaker 1: I'm with therapy knowing that your life is valuable. You

1404
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,440
Speaker 1: are enough. You don't have to be a product of

1405
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:22,200
Speaker 1: your environment. It's going to probably take some work, you know,

1406
01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:26,240
Speaker 1: to get through this. But just because this person is

1407
01:00:26,280 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 1: your father does not mean that he needs to stay

1408
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:30,479
Speaker 1: active in your life.

1409
01:00:30,520 --> 01:00:33,000
Speaker 4: Because he's clearly not active in a good way.

1410
01:00:33,120 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 5: It does not. Yeah. No, couldn't be me, darling, couldn't be.

1411
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 4: Me neither, for sure.

1412
01:00:40,400 --> 01:00:43,720
Speaker 1: Good luck to you, sis. This is a really good

1413
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:48,680
Speaker 1: time with your t I think it needs to be

1414
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:50,360
Speaker 1: a thing. If you want this to be a thing, y'all,

1415
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,200
Speaker 1: let us know, right and I let us know. Give

1416
01:00:52,240 --> 01:00:54,960
Speaker 1: us some feedback on Patreon comment about it. I think

1417
01:00:54,960 --> 01:00:56,840
Speaker 1: this is dope, and I think I loved having you

1418
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,919
Speaker 1: here for a change. I mean, I feel like, after

1419
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:01,160
Speaker 1: freaking fourteen seasons, it's about time we put you in

1420
01:01:01,200 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 1: front of the camera.

1421
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:04,440
Speaker 5: I know you know what I'm saying. And the haters

1422
01:01:04,440 --> 01:01:05,760
Speaker 5: didn't want me to be here.

1423
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:08,080
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, But look at them now,

1424
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,440
Speaker 1: look at them now, look at them now, look at you? Now?

1425
01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 1: How can people feel like, you know, trible? Like this?

1426
01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:18,120
Speaker 1: Even this shirt that I'm wearing here today, Triple got

1427
01:01:18,120 --> 01:01:19,760
Speaker 1: it for me because she saw it and she was like, man,

1428
01:01:19,760 --> 01:01:22,280
Speaker 1: I was thinking, if you can I saw this ABC

1429
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:25,000
Speaker 1: D dead ass D dead ass?

1430
01:01:25,040 --> 01:01:26,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love the brand who made them?

1431
01:01:27,080 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, who's the brand that made that? I really like that.

1432
01:01:29,160 --> 01:01:32,200
Speaker 1: It's super clever. But yeah, keep writing them, y'all, to

1433
01:01:32,240 --> 01:01:33,960
Speaker 1: these instla letters. I think I might just bring you

1434
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 1: back for the listener that episode because this is fun because.

1435
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 5: I'll be reading them and I'll be like, y'all are insane.

1436
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:43,000
Speaker 4: Chopping at the big at the beds now?

1437
01:01:43,040 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 1: This is This is the entertainment that I get as

1438
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 1: a mom before with a husband.

1439
01:01:46,320 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 4: That keep me busy. I like to know what's going on.

1440
01:01:48,360 --> 01:01:51,600
Speaker 5: In the world, y'allma this way, Yeah.

1441
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:52,120
Speaker 4: It's very more interesting.

1442
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 1: Keeps giving his pulse in the community, you know what

1443
01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:58,720
Speaker 1: I'm saying, his pulse will Triple go ahead and tell

1444
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:00,520
Speaker 1: them where if they want to write in his listen letter,

1445
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:01,800
Speaker 1: tell them where they can find you.

1446
01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 2: You can write in too, dead ass Advice at gmail

1447
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 2: dot com. That's d E A d A S S

1448
01:02:08,240 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 2: A d V I c E at gmail dot com.

1449
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 2: That was a really great job.

1450
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:17,280
Speaker 1: Save that moment. I popping in there another time or two.

1451
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:18,320
Speaker 1: Where can they find you?

1452
01:02:18,360 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 2: Though?

1453
01:02:18,520 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 1: Like, talk about ask Trible really quick before we go,

1454
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 1: because you too have launched your own no thing you're

1455
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 1: doing here now called ask Trible, So this is the

1456
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:27,960
Speaker 1: perfect opportunity to tell people what it is you trying

1457
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 1: to do girl, or what you're doing not trying, you're

1458
01:02:29,920 --> 01:02:30,240
Speaker 1: doing it.

1459
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:32,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, most people find me when I'm when I get

1460
01:02:32,880 --> 01:02:35,040
Speaker 2: to plug my stuff on dead Ass, so I appreciate that.

1461
01:02:35,120 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 5: Dope.

1462
01:02:35,520 --> 01:02:38,200
Speaker 2: Ask Trible at ask Trible on Instagram, or you can

1463
01:02:38,200 --> 01:02:41,720
Speaker 2: go to tribstcool dot com. I offer coaching for new

1464
01:02:41,880 --> 01:02:45,520
Speaker 2: podcasters and existing podcasters. If you're an independent podcaster and

1465
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:47,320
Speaker 2: you want to learn how to take your podcast to

1466
01:02:47,360 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 2: the next level, you can hit me up at tribsdcool

1467
01:02:50,000 --> 01:02:55,120
Speaker 2: dot com schedule your coaching session. You know, I give

1468
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,160
Speaker 2: you two three hours of my time and follow up

1469
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,400
Speaker 2: if you like that. If you want to just follow

1470
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:01,400
Speaker 2: me personally and see because.

1471
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:03,680
Speaker 1: She's a freaking riot. As you should.

1472
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:08,280
Speaker 5: I'll just be doing ship on the internet.

1473
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 1: I already told Triple that she needs to become some

1474
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:14,360
Speaker 1: sort of wedding correspondent. Make it a thing, because people

1475
01:03:14,400 --> 01:03:17,680
Speaker 1: have people, they pay people to host weddings like MC weddings.

1476
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:19,800
Speaker 1: You would be you would have such a market that

1477
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,480
Speaker 1: would be high a trible for your wedding. Let me

1478
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:25,480
Speaker 1: tell you she's going to do hosting MC and correspondent works.

1479
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:30,200
Speaker 5: She'll interview your guests, amen custom package. That would be dope.

1480
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:33,959
Speaker 1: You can interview folks on on the spot. You can eat,

1481
01:03:34,080 --> 01:03:36,080
Speaker 1: you can drink, you can have a good time. You

1482
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 1: might meet your boo there at wedding. That's the best,

1483
01:03:39,560 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 1: the best place because.

1484
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 2: The girl under them dresses, they want to get their

1485
01:03:44,840 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 2: little you know what I'm saying, wedding ring to.

1486
01:03:48,680 --> 01:03:49,760
Speaker 5: Squeezing them legs.

1487
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 1: You know, if you're catching the bouquet, catching the guard.

1488
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:55,800
Speaker 1: I'm not sure which way it goes now at this point.

1489
01:03:55,840 --> 01:03:58,160
Speaker 5: Now, just know that Triple is on the prow a.

1490
01:03:58,400 --> 01:03:59,240
Speaker 5: She is on the prowl.

1491
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:00,920
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like the teacher says, but

1492
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:02,880
Speaker 1: it's lesbian zoo.

1493
01:04:02,680 --> 01:04:07,680
Speaker 4: What you gotta be watching. You gotta be watching to see.

1494
01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:10,760
Speaker 2: But you can follow me at trips the Cool t

1495
01:04:10,880 --> 01:04:14,240
Speaker 2: R I B b Z the Cool on Instagram.

1496
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 5: That's pretty much the only place I'd be.

1497
01:04:16,160 --> 01:04:17,880
Speaker 4: That's the only place she'd be. That's where you'd be at.

1498
01:04:17,920 --> 01:04:19,640
Speaker 1: We'll find her there sliding to the DMS too, if

1499
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 1: you're interested as well too. I mean, shoot, we might

1500
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,960
Speaker 1: have a next segment called Date Trible at the next

1501
01:04:24,000 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 1: live show or something. I mean, all the ideas be

1502
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:28,120
Speaker 1: in the building.

1503
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:28,480
Speaker 5: Baby.

1504
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:29,800
Speaker 4: You know, we love our people.

1505
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:30,200
Speaker 5: They do.

1506
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:31,800
Speaker 4: We love We love y'all. We love y'all.

1507
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:32,440
Speaker 5: We love y'all.

1508
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:35,040
Speaker 1: All right, any moment of truth. I just realized we

1509
01:04:35,040 --> 01:04:36,000
Speaker 1: didn't have a moment of truth.

1510
01:04:36,520 --> 01:04:39,080
Speaker 5: The moment of truth is y'all think then and devou

1511
01:04:39,160 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 5: be reading these emails, and they don't they be me.

1512
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:43,840
Speaker 2: It be triple So I know all your business. Thank

1513
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,440
Speaker 2: you so much for keeping me entertained.

1514
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:49,160
Speaker 1: And a moment of truth for me is just like

1515
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:50,720
Speaker 1: man giving trip or her flowers.

1516
01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:51,920
Speaker 4: You've been rocking up with us.

1517
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:52,360
Speaker 5: For a minute.

1518
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,120
Speaker 1: Now. We love you.

1519
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:57,280
Speaker 4: You are family choice at this point, our producer. But

1520
01:04:57,320 --> 01:04:59,680
Speaker 4: more than that, the kids love you.

1521
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:01,160
Speaker 1: You know, even though a couple of them who's the

1522
01:05:01,160 --> 01:05:03,080
Speaker 1: decoded saying.

1523
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:03,640
Speaker 5: How do you yet?

1524
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:05,960
Speaker 4: He'll he'll wave, He'll wait, okay, wave.

1525
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:07,560
Speaker 5: If I do anything more than wave, he'd be.

1526
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:09,040
Speaker 1: Like, it's getting hard to get though. I think he's

1527
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:10,840
Speaker 1: trying to play hard to get from early. So you know,

1528
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:12,320
Speaker 1: don't feel no kind of way. Don't feel that kind

1529
01:05:12,320 --> 01:05:14,240
Speaker 1: of way. But we love you, We thank you. The

1530
01:05:14,280 --> 01:05:16,480
Speaker 1: audience loves you, our listeners and our viewers you they

1531
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:19,000
Speaker 1: literally know that you're part of Dead Ass the podcast,

1532
01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,080
Speaker 1: and we appreciate you so much.

1533
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 5: Yes, oh we love you too.

1534
01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:28,080
Speaker 1: All right, now these kids be in the background. You know,

1535
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:30,080
Speaker 1: some of these days i'd be wondering, you know, somebody

1536
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:31,200
Speaker 1: gonna take a soft.

1537
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:32,680
Speaker 5: Air because, like.

1538
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:37,640
Speaker 4: I mean, listen, it's rampant these days. Before we go,

1539
01:05:37,720 --> 01:05:39,280
Speaker 4: what's that one thing in Dead Ass about?

1540
01:05:39,880 --> 01:05:43,520
Speaker 2: I'm dead ass about having fun. Whatever I do, wherever

1541
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:45,520
Speaker 2: I go, I'm gonna have a good ass time.

1542
01:05:45,760 --> 01:05:46,440
Speaker 4: That's a fact.

1543
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:48,720
Speaker 5: It's a funeral, honey, I'm having a good.

1544
01:05:48,600 --> 01:05:51,920
Speaker 1: Sack because the repass plate though, come on, now have

1545
01:05:51,960 --> 01:05:54,600
Speaker 1: you seen that? Paid The picture of a plate circulating

1546
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:56,880
Speaker 1: on Instagram and people have been like, where do you

1547
01:05:56,880 --> 01:05:59,600
Speaker 1: think this is happening, and people have said a repass

1548
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:00,720
Speaker 1: or what was it?

1549
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 4: I think it was the other one.

1550
01:06:01,480 --> 01:06:04,360
Speaker 1: People said repass or baby show must have been got

1551
01:06:04,480 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 1: to had a meatballs.

1552
01:06:05,600 --> 01:06:09,200
Speaker 4: You gotta have to taste Selag little wings whatever.

1553
01:06:09,320 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 2: I know, I'm gonna laugh, I'm gonna have fun. I

1554
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:14,400
Speaker 2: do not care about anything else.

1555
01:06:14,680 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 5: I love that. I love that.

1556
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:19,360
Speaker 1: And see what am I dead ass about today? I'm

1557
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:22,120
Speaker 1: dead ass about having triple back on with me. Hey man,

1558
01:06:22,320 --> 01:06:24,840
Speaker 1: be dead ass about dead ass about that. We will

1559
01:06:24,880 --> 01:06:27,240
Speaker 1: see how this whole thing pans out to be dead.

1560
01:06:27,080 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 5: Ass about getting Tyler to put a ring on my finger. Perry, Yeah, Perry, Oh,

1561
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:39,120
Speaker 5: I never got to do this hate TP you know

1562
01:06:39,200 --> 01:06:41,080
Speaker 5: I've been watching for a long time. You have to.

1563
01:06:42,720 --> 01:06:45,120
Speaker 2: I'm gay, but I don't think that matters. That said,

1564
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:48,480
Speaker 2: you could dress up like Medea and we could get

1565
01:06:48,520 --> 01:06:48,720
Speaker 2: it on.

1566
01:06:49,040 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 5: You know, I cannot even tell on that note.

1567
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:58,200
Speaker 1: Be sure to find us on Patreon, Gang Gang Gang.

1568
01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:00,560
Speaker 1: We were having a lot of fun over here. Exclusive

1569
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:04,400
Speaker 1: dead ass podcast I can't even talk. Exclusive dead Ass

1570
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:08,640
Speaker 1: podcast video content as well as more after show footage,

1571
01:07:08,880 --> 01:07:11,880
Speaker 1: Ellis family content. You can find me on social media.

1572
01:07:11,960 --> 01:07:12,240
Speaker 5: Kadeen.

1573
01:07:12,360 --> 01:07:15,840
Speaker 1: I am the podcast page. Of course dead Ass the Podcast,

1574
01:07:16,120 --> 01:07:18,200
Speaker 1: and of course my boo continue to show him love.

1575
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:21,040
Speaker 1: I am Devo and if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,

1576
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 1: please be sure to rate, review, and subscribe.

1577
01:07:24,840 --> 01:07:26,520
Speaker 5: Dead Ass y'all, Yes.

1578
01:07:28,800 --> 01:07:34,560
Speaker 3: Got dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network

1579
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 3: and is produced by Donor Pinya and Triple. Follow the

1580
01:07:37,800 --> 01:07:40,640
Speaker 3: podcast on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and

1581
01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:41,600
Speaker 3: never miss a Thing